Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)

((Wow, I'm loving this RP at the moment But my brain is literally dead, I don't know what to write! D: I have written some, just over 1000 words, and I know what Charlie's going to say, but I can't think of what to do for the build-up. I promise I'll have it done either today or for when you come back, but don't get your hopes up on it or anything
Don't you just hate block? ))

((Okay, it looks like I'm not going to have it done by tonight, much to my disappointment But I am rather close to finishing, so it matters how much time I'll get during the next day or so to determine when I'll finish it. But I will finish it. I will! ))

((Hehe! Tis okay, Dreamels, I understand.

I can't wait! *Dances*

And don't worry about length. Just end it when you've said what you want to say - if you try to push for extra words with block, you just end up giving up - as I discovered on numerous occasions. Hehe!! ))

((I had block, and yet I wrote over 4200 words... No idea how that works, so don't ask I apologize for it being late, I have literally had no time this week, what with homework and just...work -__- But it's done now, and feel extremely over-inspired

Thank you for the help! I have officially beaten you're record, without actually realising it

*dances*))

I had a sudden urge to flinch away from his wild laughter, blaring noisily through the room as if it was being attacked by a huge mallet. The look on his face felt mocking, like he was deriding every word I had just forced up the courage to say. I felt more than a little bit stupid, yet I had no idea what he was finding so funny. A mix of frustration and anger kept me from shrinking away from him in blood-curdling terror, and I felt my back stiffen as his voice jumped uncharacteristically in amusement. Wherever the Kougu I knew was, whatever had happened to him, he was long gone. But what had triggered it this time? “My Lord, are you daft, girl? And here I thought you had some brains!” He then shook his head in amusement, evidently enjoying every minute. His words mimicked themselves in my head, as if they themselves were laughing at my apparent stupidity, yet I didn't understand the joke myself, and it seemed Kougu was the only one who did. But even then I couldn't help but feel slightly exasperated by his reaction. Hadn't he realised what I was doing? Had he even given my words a second thought? How were they even funny?
Kougu's scornful lips slowly sank back into a forced line, although I could still easily sense the spark in his eyes that told me he was amused, and wasn't going to bother hiding it from anyone. He knew he was the one with the power here, the invincible individual that held the survivors tightly in his grasp. It was the face that made me really want to go over there and slap him, but then I remembered: this was Kougu. No matter how much he irritated me, no matter how much he made me want to hit him, hard, it was still Kougu. It was still the Kougu whom had so kindly brought my life back on track, and had put his life in danger so many times for me despite my contradictions. I couldn't hurt him, no matter how hard I tried.
Although, whether that was because I didn't have it in me or because I didn't actually have the physical ability to do so, I'll let you decide that one for yourself.
Besides, he was far quicker than me, no matter which way I thought about it. He was a quicker thinker, quicker mover, and far better at improvising than I was.
Oh, who was I kidding? He beat me at everything, and always had.

But no, he was talking again, and in a way that made me want to slap him twice as hard. His tone was calm and full of patience, like he was truly taking the mickey of my supposed 'lack of knowledge'. And so, he began to explain, slowly to make sure I would understand every word, but with a strong look that ensured I wouldn't interrupt him, whether I agreed or not. “It’s just no fun if you let me massacre you. Don’t you understand the concept of punishment? The whole point it that I’m supposed to hurt you against your will. I mean really – would it be any fun at all if you didn’t squirm and squeal?”
My eyes narrowed. Was he serious? Was that really how he thought twenty-four-seven? I could have sworn he'd said he wouldn't lay a finger on me if he could help it, although that had been back when he was – I had to think a moment for the correct term – 'sober'. Now he'd snapped, goodness knows what vile, repulsive things he was thinking about. But where had he got it from? Surely he hadn't been born to think such sickening thoughts, - although such things are impossible anyway - so what had brought him to? Kougu then turned briefly to Antonio, who was evidently feeling rather deflated at the idea that he was now alone with his sworn enemy, and failing to save his son from almost certain death. He looked uncomfortable... Uncertain about the battle he was fighting, and I could tell now the only thing keeping him in there was the fact that Kougu had his son at death's door.
“Tony, help me out here. You’re a right scumbag, and you must have been a kid once. Would you have ripped wings off of butterflies if they hadn’t flapped so desperately, helplessly trying to escape your clutches?”
“You seem to have forgotten that, unlike you, I was not born with hatred.” Antonio snapped. “My life and childhood were both perfectly fine until you stole my brother from me.”
Kougu turned back to me, oblivious, as if Tony hadn't said a single word and continued with his explanation which apparently had an obvious point; a point I hadn't caught onto yet. “You see, my dear, the point of hurting people is to make them know their place. To show them that you are more powerful, and that you can do whatever you like to them even without their permission.” Place! There was that word again.
Place.
Place on Earth.
Place in society...
Where was he getting this all from? Was it the word he lived by? Because I really couldn't have cared less on his thoughts of 'place'. There was no such thing., and I didn't care what he said, or forced upon me. My thoughts on that pathetic excuse were not going to change. “So, no, Charlie. I won’t accept your deal, but I will make you mine, and I will do whatever I want with you. How does that sound?”
Huh, I'd say 'no deal', but my instincts tell me you're not going to care about my say, are you? Nah, thought not. But listen here, whatever you've done to my best friend, I demand you bring him back. Now. Have you got that? I despise the fact that you have the nerve to think you can 'take over' someone as good-willed as him, and I'm sure he doesn't approve of filthy-minded scum like you thinking you can come over here, threaten our lives and make something out of him that he's not. Now, do me a favour and bugger off, leave us alone, and give me back my friend. He's a better person than you are, I don't care what you say. Well? What're you waiting for? Leave. And don't bother coming back...

My thoughts were delayed as Kougu began to talk to Antonio, his face split into a wide, menacing grin. “And now, Sir, it’s your turn. I am surprised you show such ignorance… This boy here – he isn’t your son, oh no. He’s mine now. Have you not heard of ‘finders keepers’? Well… You left him lying around. I picked him up. I found him. Maybe I’ll keep him for myself? Maybe I’ll sell him online. Hell, I don’t know! It doesn’t matter, as long as I don’t give him back to you. Maybe it will teach you to take better care of your things… Besides, even if I did give him back, it would be a waste. What could you do with him when you’re dead, hmmm?”
That was it. That, right there, was not Kougu. The Kougu I knew didn't threaten lives, never mind 'claim' people. He knew it was wrong. He knew it was unfair.
But Kougu wasn't here.
No, this was a whole different person. A stranger who saw nothing more to a person than a lump of flesh that he believed was his to rip open and destroy. He was a self-centred, sick-minded man, who only seemed to care about himself, and making people 'know their place'. Perhaps like someone else we both knew... No, focus. Focus! Lives are at stake here, and you're bothering about Kougu? It was true, I had to pull myself together. If anyone was going to get hurt here, it was going to be me. Kougu was mad at me, and I didn't buy for a single minute that he had come just for Antonio. It was evident to me that Antonio didn't know Kougu well, only the fact that he had killed his brother and the visually obvious. Therefore Kougu had no reason to hate Antonio like he did with me. Therefore, it was my responsibility to make sure Tony and Alfredo both got out of there alive, no matter what happened to me.
The thought didn't scare me one bit.
After all, it wasn't like I'd never felt pain. I'd been beaten, strangled, threatened with my life – although, the last two had admittedly been mostly from Kougu – and no matter how I died, I was sure I'd be ready for it. It was what I deserved, after all.

Kougu's eyes darkened menacingly, as he came up with yet another malicious plan to quench his thirst for more innocent blood and he clicked his fingers excitedly. “Oh! I know exactly what I’ll do with him! I’ll have him help me in the kitchen. I’m planning a feast, you see. A… ‘reward’ for Charlie, if you will. She has been a splendid help, you see, bringing you all here to me. But before all that, Tony, you’ll need to die.”
I heard Tony gasp in horror beside me, and my head snapped to the side to watch as the courage to fight for his brother and son drained from his expression like water, and the colour ran from his face. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, myself. The kitchen? What was he planning to do in the kitchen?
I didn't even want to know.
And what of Alfredo? What had Kougu – or whoever this monster was – had planned for him? He wouldn't kill him, surely... He had no reason to. Besides, I'd heard him mutter something earlier in Alfredo's ear, and his voice showed no sign of threat then. He'd said so himself, he needed Alfredo. But for what?
Then, of course there was me and the whole 'feast' business. What was all that about? Surely he didn't really intend to force me to actually eat anyone? Really?
Before I could digest what was going on, Alfredo crumpled to the floor with a soft, dull thud. My eyes widened in horror for a moment, until I realised: Alfredo wasn't dead. Kougu wouldn't kill him, because he had no reason to. Besides, he planned on using him for something, didn't he? What had he said...? 'I'll have him help me in the kitchen'. Alfredo wasn't dead. Oh no. Antonio was the one who was going to die.
Over my dead body.

It's funny how that works, isn't it? 'He'll die over my dead body'. But it was true, all the same. Kougu wanted me alive, no matter how sick the reason. He wanted to use me for his own personal game. My death would probably ruin his fun, therefore if I died, the purpose of him being there would be lost.
“And Charlie...” My eyes arose to my tormentor at the sound of my name, my expression seeming blank and defeated. “Did you honestly think I hadn’t noticed the bar? Hell, even he noticed that! I dare say it was his plan to threaten to blow it up from the start. Not that he would have… Boy wouldn’t hurt a fly.”
“You say that as if it's a bad thing.” I shot back flatly, raising my chin. Had he really gone that mad? Did he really think he was out of his own body? Was he insane?
Of course he was.
It was Kougu, after all.
In fact, no, it wasn't Kougu. Whoever stood before me had no sanity whatsoever, as he seemed to have lost it a long time ago. Kougu, on the other hand, had more sanity, more sense and more self control than this lunatic.

My mind was jolted back to the present as the willowy male's light footsteps echoed through the silent room as he began to stroll towards Antonio, twirling his gun skilfully in one hand and swinging the lighter with the other. Oh God... He was really going to do this. He was going to kill Tony in front of me.
He'd regret that later, if he ever came around. If...
I scrunched my eyes closed for a short moment, pushing the thought from my head. Worrying about the future was no good if I couldn't control what was going on in the present. Kougu wouldn't kill Antonio if I got in the way, because he didn't want me to die. Yet. If I could somehow get between them before he did anything, if I managed to try and talk to him again, perhaps to change his mind – although the first attempt had backfired severely. I'd just need to me firm about it. It was my fault all this had happened, anyway. If only I could just look him in the eye...
My eyelids unfolded, and I had to blink a few times to let my vision adjust again to the almost empty room. What was my plan again? Oh yes, to jump in and stop him...
But wait...wait! Kougu had stopped. Just stopped. His gaze sank just slightly, and I could have sworn I heard him mutter some bitter words under his breath, but I was too far away to make out what they were. Was this his plan? Was this some sick joke where he would end up looking at me with that stupid grin, laugh then lunge towards Tony's throat, then deafen me with the sickly sounds of ripping flesh and his dark, monotonous laughter...
“Charlie!” I literally jumped at the sudden sound of my name, possibly more because of the hardness in the tone. Annoyed at showing my fear, I bit firmly on my lower lip to stop myself from snapping a quick 'what?!' in response. His glare gripped me like a long, skeletal hand snaking around my neck, forcing me to stare right back at him as he began to speak in a tone which reminded me a little too much of his father. “I changed my mind. I accept your deal. And what I ask of you… Just keep doing exactly what you are. Break the boy. Break him down into so many pathetic pieces that he’ll never fight me again!”

My whole body froze in it's spot, like my feet had been nailed into the thick, wooden planks by my feet. They probably could have been, too, and I wouldn't have noticed. My blood ran cold, my nerves numbed. I felt nothing; nothing other than the knowing that his words of fury were nothing less than the cold, hard truth. Was that what I'd been doing just from being in Kougu's company? Was I really 'breaking' him, as this man put it? Well, I certainly hadn't been a very good help, that's for sure. I knew I'd not been a good friend, and it had been totally hypocritical of me before to think Kougu was in the wrong after the way I'd treated him. I'd broken Kougu to such an extent he had lost the strength to fight his 'other side' when it came about. All this... It was my fault. All of it. Why had he come to help me? Why had he bothered to put himself in such danger? I wasn't worth it, obviously. Whenever I tried to do anything, people got hurt. Even Kougu.
Especially Kougu.
I was so deep in thought I hardly noticed as Kougu began to speak to Tony, his voice strangely quiet as opposed to before. Still wounded by my wake-up call, I slowly looked up to see him standing, slightly hunched and head bowed. He didn't look anywhere hear as confident as before. Was he alright?

Peering across the room, I hesitantly took a step towards him, eyes narrowed suspiciously. As I did so, he continued speaking to Antonio as if nothing had happened. “I’ll ensure his safety until he wakes. After that, he’ll be free to return to you of his own free will.”
Wait. what? Had I heard that right? Kougu had just used the words 'free' and 'will' appropriately in a sentence... Okay, so he hadn't been talking about himself, but it was a start. It was a sure sign that the monster that had taken him over in such an uncalled for manor, had finally evaporated from his body. That was great. Fantastic. But he wasn't looking at me.
Which meant I still wasn't forgiven. Not yet, anyway.
Although, I wasn't planning on having my hopes up for long.
Sneakily, Kougu retrieved a small box from his back pocket and brought it before him, silently swinging open the lid with a flick of his thumb. It contained a small handful of tiny, silvery-grey objects. Bullets. He picked one out and swiftly placed it into the barrel of his gun, and with a flash he spun round towards Antonio and pulled the trigger. The shot rang far out into the night, causing several species of nocturnal birds to flee from their nests. With another dull thud Antonio crumpled to the floor. I gasped.

My legs seemed to have minds of their own as I fell a few steps forward and knelt down beside Antonio, studying him in attempt to see where the bullet had hit. But there was nothing visible. Nothing at all. I frowned. So, if the bullet hadn't hit him, then how was Antonio not standing?
Then I remembered. Bullets that don't pierce skin – the skull, to be precise … “Oh my word...” My lips curved upwards into a small, relieved smile. Rubber. The bullets had been made of rubber.
How could I not have known that?
Wow, I never thought I'd be so relieved for something that actually harms people... Ever. But hey, it could have been worse: Antonio could have died, after all. He was alive, and perhaps he wouldn't be too pleased once he awoke, and he'd no doubt have a rather bad headache, but in the end it wouldn't matter. He'd be alive.

I stepped back round to thank Kougu for not doing what I had predicted,when I noticed he was kneeling. His head was bowed, and his eyes were closed.
Still he wasn't looking at me.
I don't know what I was expecting. After all, how many times had he helped me? And how many times had I thrown it back in his face? Which reminded me...
My head snapped up to the window, and I stared up at the dark, midnight sky. Stars were dotted randomly above the faint shadows of the rooftops of the houses in the sleeping town settled in the distance. Sunset was long gone, I realised with a sunken heart. There was no point bothering going to find Kougu's father now, because he wouldn't want to see me at Ten 'O clock in the evening. I'd have to wait until tomorrow, if he'd still be willing to take me in then. Great, so even now he's all you think about? After everything that's just happened? How much more self-centred could you be? That was true, of course. It was bad timing... Focus! Clearing my throat, I crept to Kougu, hoping to my heart that he wasn't about to leap up and kill me after what I'd said, and sank to the floor, crossed-legged. I let out a tired sigh, rested my head in one hand and lightly traced the dark knots of the wooden strips on the floor with my fingertips.

The minutes ticked by like days, until I couldn't stand the silence any longer. I knew Kougu was in pain, because we'd ended on such a bad note he probably thought I hated him. To be honest, it felt like the other way round. He hated me, that's why he couldn't look at me. I hurt him more than a thousand bullets, or a burning laser ever could. I didn't deserve his forgiveness.
Still, we couldn't end like this. Not after what had just happened.
“You didn't have to come here, you know,” I mumbled, eyes still fixed on the black rings encircling one another by my feet. “We both know I don't deserve it.” I sniffed, letting my gaze follow a baby woodlouse which had appeared from within the cracks and began to scuttle about the surface aimlessly, as if looking for it's parents - or colony, or whatever woodlice have. I pressed my finger down to block it's path and waited patiently for it to sense I wasn't going to squish it. It paused curiously for a moment, it's minuscule antennae tickling at the paws on my skin, before hesitantly creeping up onto my hand. Hello, little guy, I thought with a tiny smile. Lost too, eh? I played around with it for a few seconds, watching it race from hand-to-hand as if on a hamster wheel, my face flooding with awe. I used to be petrified of woodlice, ever since I saw one crawl from the corner of the room back at the house. The house... The flames... Dancing... Singing... No, no! Don't want to remember... Please don't make me remember... I picked up the round, grey shell with my thumb and fore-finger, staring momentarily as the insect's little legs shook desperately as it noticed the ground had disappeared, and placed it carefully back onto the floor. It scuttled off again, as if on a mission, and disappeared down another crack. I sighed, feeling oddly alone once again and looked at Kougu with slightly anxious eyes. What was I supposed to say? “Listen, I know I upset you back at the park. Kougu, you have no idea how much I wish I could take all that back. I wasn't thinking...” I looked away, thinking the words through once in my head. “I gue- well, I know I took it all too personally, what with the fact that I thought I wasn't worth living for and.... I've been far too selfish the past couple of days, yes. But I understand now why you feel like you have to do the things you said, it's just... It angered me that you kept mentioning the word 'place', like it was because you believed you didn't belong anywhere that you were going get yourself killed. and so you decided to rid of what you had left. I know... The way your father treats you is... shocking... But surely if you avoided him...? It's...” I rose my hands in defeat, and shook my head. “It's none of my business, I know. But like it or not, I am now part of this. I am part of your life, even if it is a tiny fraction. I...I-I...” I looked up at him, my eyes glistening with tears. “I just want to say, I'll miss you. Whatever happens, I'll miss you. Kougu, you're the best thing that's happened to me in six years. Maybe more...” Blinking desperately, I looked away once more, quickly trying to pull myself together. Breaking down after being the one in the wrong it not a good idea. I paused to breath for a few moments, before forcing my gaze back up to meet his, honestly flooding through like every tear I began to shed. “Just, please... If this is what you really believe you have to do... It's completely up to you, it's your life, but-... If you have to leave - the town, the world, whatever – please don't just presume I'll be able to take it. Don't think I'll be able to just forget everything that's happened for the past week. You may be able to forget me when you're dead, but I'll never forget you.” I sighed, noticing my voice had begun to shake in emotion and cleared my throat. “I just want you to remember that.” I finished with a brief nod, before leaving my eyes to scan the two sleeping bodies at opposite side of the room. Okay, so they were both unconscious. But Kougu had mentioned he wasn't going to leave Alfredo in his father's hands until he came round, and that was only If he wanted to. So, what were we to do with them in the mean time? I spotted Alfredo's smooth face across from me, his eyes lightly closed and his mouth set in a relaxed line. It was probably the deepest and most relaxing sleep he'll have had in a long time. Antonio on the other hand, was going to be one moody man when he awoke. The thought made me smile through my tears. The look on his face once he realised we'd left would definitely be something worth thinking about, even if we wouldn't be there to see it.
It would probably be the one memory from this experience that would actually make me smile.
And I was lucky to even have that.

Happy reading!! xD

((Enjoy. And don't ask - I had NOTHING to do with this! O.o ))

Kougu sat on the floor in a complete daze. He simply refused to think, so he didn’t, but merely sat there like a complete vegetable, looking for all the world like he would be in no way out of place at a mental institution. Was he in shock? Perhaps… But in all honestly, the shock had dwindled away years ago. This had happened enough times now that he was used to it. He was used to the horror of crawling back into the driver’s seat of his own mind, only to find himself in a situation that had not been his doing – usually with blood and bodies littering the floor.
This time, there was no blood. There were bodies, true, but they were not dead…
But what of the rest of them? The room had been full of men last Kougu remembered. He had to know what had happened – little as he wanted to.
So Kougu breathed a deep breath, and delved into his memories.
He searched through all that had happened – remembering the hostage, the lighter, the threats… He could hear his own voice jeering in his ear like a demon on the shoulder – soiling his own tongue with such filth…
He felt the plans that ‘that man’ had conjured run through his mind, tickling his thoughts, and Kougu felt a flash of instant disgust.
The man was sick, twisted, inhuman!
If it was possible, Kougu’s pale face turned even paler, and even a little green as he desperately fought the urge to be sick. Cannibalism, of all things? That was the man’s great plan, this time? Well, Kougu had to admit, that may have been his best work yet. He was certainly getting more creative… It would be a challenge, then, thinking of a painful enough way to leech his life away.
But no. He refused to mimic that man in his final act. He was not the same! He refused to follow in those bloodstained footprints.
No… When he killed that man, and he would, it would be mercifully – with a single bullet to the head. Hell would bring him enough suffering, anyway.

Realizing that he had become distracted, Kougu forced these thoughts aside and continued sifting through his own memories as though skimming the pages of a book.
Finally, the truth became clear: His behaviour had been revolting, to say the least. Disgusting, demented, appalling… But nobody had died. In fact they had all come away from this – for the most part – unscathed.
The relief was almost more than Kougu could take. Had he still been standing, his knees would have given way there and then, but as it was they only tingled uncomfortably, since he was already as low as he could possibly get – in more ways than one. With a soft sigh, he raked his fingers through his thick black hair, thanking his lucky stars, if he even had any, that this time had not brought about the disastrous results he had expected.
He had been lucky… So lucky…
Yet still, the thought that his one mistake had caused all this haunted his mind. It was like a poisoned splinter under the skin, only sinking deeper the more he clawed at it, until he ripped his own flesh to ribbons in an attempt to obliterate the itch. The relentless pain that consumed him.
Pain…
Kougu clenched his fists, tighter and tighter, until he felt the skin splitting on his palms once again. He needed it… He needed it so desperately, it was like a vampiric thirst. The tiny beads of blood oozed from the cracks in his skin and drew shining trails over his fingernails as they began seeking paths of escape. They, at least, would be set free. But not him, oh no… He was forever encaged. Incapacitated. Controlled.
Yes… Controlled. But now he was back in control, it was time to forsake his weakness and face the music head-on. He was not alone… Charlie was still here. He owed her more than this silence… Yet he hadn’t the courage to break it.
Thankfully, seeming almost to read his thoughts, Charlie did it for him.

“You didn't have to come here, you know,”
Oh.
Oh…
The long awaited end to the silence, and THAT was what she said. Kougu’s clenched fists tightened more still, if it was even possible, until his blood dripped a sickly tune, falling to the floor with gentle drips. And still, he squeezed harder. Urging, coaxing the thick, crimson liquid of his life to flood from the cracks and fall to the floor. Yet still, the pain was nowhere near enough to distract him. How could he possibly be distracted when, after all that, nothing had changed?!
It was the bloody conversation in the park all over again, and quite frankly, Kougu didn’t think he could cope with that again.
Check that – he knew that he most certainly couldn’t take it again. So if this was the way the conversation was going, then he was taking the coward’s escape route. Anything was better than having the person he cared about most reach into his chest and yank out his heart, then crush it into powder before his very eyes.
Okay, so that was far from possible, but this one time he actually understood the concept of the metaphor. After all, his heart was certainly aching, and that wasn’t possible either. Not everything in life could be explained through fact…
’…didn’t have to come here…’
The words scurried mockingly through his mind, like a hoard of mischievous demons spraying graffiti on the walls of his skull.
He simply couldn’t escape it, for it was the truth.
And before he knew it, there was that terrifying cold voice again, Charlie’s heartfelt words strangling him like white-hot chains, suffocating him in the prison of his own mind.
’Wrecked my life…
Wasted my time…
Don’t befriend anyone…
Save a life…

Goodbye.

The final word sounded loudly as a cymbal in Kougu’s thoughts, and finally he understood. She had said goodbye… And she had meant it. She had honestly meant that she was leaving, and that she never wanted to see him. That she never wanted to set eye on his face again, no matter what the situation.
Kougu wasn’t sure why he had come…He didn’t understand why he had gone against her wishes – except that he couldn’t bear to lose her. And even that – was it true? He had been angry… So angry. She had really hurt him, and for once he hadn’t been willing to take it lying down. He had wanted to explain himself – to make her see his side before she jumped to conclusions. But the problem was, it was too late for that. She had already formed her opinions, and apparently nothing he could do would change them.

“I had to come here.” He hissed bitterly, “Or maybe you’ve forgotten… I never listen.”
That hadn’t been what he had been planning to say, and it surprised him. He had been thinking more along the lines of ‘I had to come here because you never gave me a chance to explain myself’ or, ‘I had to come here to save your fool neck so I wouldn’t be riddled with guilt.’
Instead, he had flipped it completely, speaking with reference to the good times rather than the bad. And suddenly, his anger was gone. Suddenly, he didn’t hurt quite so much… He had been through some good times with Charlie. And he was confident that when he walked to his grave, he would do it with light in his heart, and those memories as the only kindling to the flame.
Of course he had to come… Charlie was literally the only good thing in his life. Hadn’t he told her that?! Or did she think that he had been exaggerating? Or perhaps just not believed him? But it was the truth – every word of it. And the truth was, she was so important to him that he couldn’t stay angry with her. He couldn’t hold what she had said against her, no matter how much it had hurt, because he would keep loving her even if she hated his guts.
Yes… Charlie was his best friend. His one precious person. And for that, he loved her.
A faint smile twitched at the corners of his lips, and suddenly everything didn’t matter quite as much. Charlie was still talking, but her words simply washed over him. Her voice, though… He was glad to hear it. It soothed him…
Slowly, Kougu relaxed, unclenching his fists, and ceasing his relentless torment of the tender flesh of his palms.
She hates me. He thought with a faint smile, But it doesn’t matter, because at least she’s alive.
He would have his second chance.

And with that thought strong in his mind, Kougu finally raised his head to look at Charlie, and hear what she was saying. “Listen, I know I upset you back at the park…” Kougu’s smile faded as he heard these words, for they were true – so true – and he could not deny them, much as he wanted to. So he simple sat with a sombre expression and heard Charlie out – relief coursing through him as she began to explain how she wished she could take it back. Of course, she never could – he knew that better than anybody… But the fact that she wanted to was enough for him!
Then again… She had really meant them at the time. Her eyes had been like chips of ice. He had seen it… That hatred. That loathing. Pure and utter abhoration for every fibre of his being.
He couldn’t see any of that now… But then again, he supposed nobody had the courage to express their hatred to a lunatic who had just nearly committed a mass murder.
He wanted to believe her, he really did, but he didn’t trust himself enough to do it. So he merely sat despondently, and listened.
She was referring back to what he’d said – about there being no place for him in the world.
It was true – he would not take that back, even if Charlie didn’t like it… There was no place for him in the world, therefore it rejected him – chewing him up and spitting him out at every opportunity. It wouldn’t give up until his unwelcome existence was erased completely. That was what happened when one steered away from the purpose for which they had been created… They were punished. But he refused to comply with his purpose. He would not be a killing machine any longer, oh no…
No.
Instead, he would use the power he had been given to change destiny, no matter what the cost to himself!
“I know... The way your father treats you is... shocking... But surely if you avoided him...? It's...”
Charlie’s words caught Kougu’s attention the instant she mentioned his father – who was currently filling his innermost hatred circle – and he flashed her a sharp, intent glance – almost a glare, yet without any hostility toward her. “There’s no way.” He informed her stubbornly. “Our lives are more tightly entangled than you can imagine, and I can’t escape him…” He muttered the words quietly, really speaking more to himself than to Charlie, and not even knowing if she had heard. Perhaps it was better if she hadn’t… She didn’t need to understand all this – she just needed to keep out of it. It was too dangerous… And he couldn’t bear to see her hurt. He just couldn’t risk her… Not again.

Yes… He did care for her – but did she honestly still care for him? He knew she had once – but she had also hated him. Could he possibly be forgiven that easily…?
He glanced toward her, watching her, his dark blue eyes willing her to say something to allay his doubts. And then, much to his surprise, she did.
“I just want to say, I'll miss you. Whatever happens, I'll miss you. Kougu, you're the best thing that's happened to me in six years. Maybe more...”
Kougu simply stared, unable to believe what he was hearing. After all he’d done, and everything that had just happened… He gulped, feeling a painful burning behind his eyes as the threatened to mimic Charlie’s tears – which showed her honesty so completely that Kougu could not doubt it, not even for a moment.
She was kind, too kind, and the words touched him deeply. It was as though she’d seen right into his heart, and soothed his innermost fears that he hadn’t even realised he had until they were gone… That he would die, and leave nothing behind. That he would have a legacy of nothing… Nobody to miss him… Nobody to appreciate him…
But no – he had been wrong before. Charlie was not going to forget him. Obviously, their friendship meant more to her than he’d guessed. Perhaps it was just because he had never felt enough affection for himself to believe that anybody else could ever appreciate him.
But Charlie’s words… The kindness of them… The meaning for him… It was almost more than he could take.
Kougu glanced down, blinking quickly and biting his lip. Why he felt like crying, he had no idea… Frankly, he could not have been happier.

Then she spoke again, and Kougu watched her through a haze, barely hearing her words at first – then suddenly listening more intently than ever, hanging on every syllable. “Just, please... If this is what you really believe you have to do... It's completely up to you, it's your life, but-... If you have to leave - the town, the world, whatever – please don't just presume I'll be able to take it. Don't think I'll be able to just forget everything that's happened for the past week. You may be able to forget me when you're dead, but I'll never forget you.”
Charlie couldn’t have chosen her words better. Kougu’s breath caught in his throat, and he felt a thrill of affection rush through him – so intense that it raised goosebumps on his skin.
The fact that she was actually giving him his own choice… Yet still saying that she would miss him if he was gone… Nothing could have effected him more. It was the very opposite of all he had ever know – force and hostility…
Charlie’s words had hit the mark. It was as though somebody had painted a target on his heart… Which was suddenly beating out a rhythm of life, rather than counting the beats to death.
He was relieved, he was ecstatic and he was so grateful that he could barely even think. He just sat as he was, in complete shock – struggling to comprehend the tremors of joy that ran through him.
“I just want you to remember that.” She finished simply, then turned away.

Tears spilling from his eyes, Kougu acted before he had even begun to think. It was as though he was moving in a dream… He thought of nothing. He had no clue what he was doing, or why – yet he did it anyway.
Leaning forwards, he wrapped an arm gently around Charlie’s shoulders, then brought her head around to face him with a light touch of his fingers.
Moving through a daze, his eyes glazed over as though by drugs, Kougu leaned in closer, and pressed his lips to hers.
Time seemed to stand still. And though the kiss lasted barely half a heartbeat – it felt like an eternity to Kougu when he suddenly came to his senses.
It was like the gunshot all over again… His thoughts working a thousand times quicker than he could act. He remembered the torture of shoving Charlie out of the bullet’s path a million times over in his head, just in the time it took for the bullet to strike her, and him to sit motionless, and helpless.
Now, it was much the same.
He was pulling back as fast as he could, but time was dragging. In his mind, he had already fled the scene, but in reality – he was still stuck. Trapped in this nightmare he had somehow got himself into without even realising it.
Finally, time returned to normal – and then Kougu pulled back so suddenly that he fell backwards, scrambling quickly away from her. “I-I” He stuttered in a state of complete panic – the tears that had shone on his face a moment before now completely evaporated from the heat of the blush colouring his pale cheeks.
He glanced at Charlie in absolute horror, then scrambled to his feet and fled the scene, muttering a quick “I have to go.” As he bolted toward the door. Thankfully, the men from before had left it open – else Kougu would probably have run right into it, as he always did.
Instead, he raced out into the parking lot, feeling the cold air hit his skin like an icy blast. He was shivering, trembling violently, yet by no means was it from the cold – not by a long shock. He could not believe what he had just done, and he didn’t even want to start to think of why, or what it might mean. It was as though he hadn’t been himself at all, yet what disturbed him most was that he knew he had been… He had been in complete control. That was why he was in a panic… That was why he had to get far, far away from here before he had to face Charlie!
Glancing from side to side in indecision, Kougu finally decided which way to go, and sprung forward – sprinting off into the night.
He did not go far.
He ended up in the corner of the parking area – right in the corner, sandwiched between the wall of the pub and the wire mesh fence beside it – and hidden by the big, bulky form of Antonio’s van. Here, Kougu sat. He sat, trembling, hugging his knees to his chest – too scared of his own thoughts to venture into his mind, and too scared of reality to comprehend what had just happened.
Well, now Charlie was sure going to forgive him.
Wow… This sarcasm thing really did sting.

Smart move, Genius.

Kougu gave a low moan of despair, pressing his head into his hands in utter defeat as the voices returned.

Come on… Please… Now of all times, just leave me in peace.

Ah, don’t ruin my fun mate, this here’s hilarious! You were even worse than that Jimmy friend of hers!

I swear, if you don’t shut up right now, I’ll-

What, kill me? Good luck mate – I don’t even exist. Still, it doesn’t matter. You messed up – you knew it was bound to happen. Can’t take it back now, right? You’ll just have to face the music head on.

You’re right…

Aren’t I always?

Kougu sighed, rubbing his eyes wearily, then leaned back against the fence, stretching one leg out in front of him. He felt a little calmer after thinking things over. Or rather – talking to himself… But that sounded much worse – which would mean Charlie had been kissed by a crazy person, which Kougu did not approve of.
He sighed softly, glancing down at his hands, which still bled slightly from the palms – especially the one.
Kougu frowned slightly at the mangled mess of his left hand. He had completely forgotten about being shot…. Funny – it didn’t hurt at all. In fact, he couldn’t feel anything. He felt completely numb…

((*gasp* He... he h-h-he.... He kissed her?! Polo!!

I was just on the merge of tears getting half way, then 'ping' *jawdrop* he kissed her! OMW!! Wow... did NOT see that coming!!

Right then, I'm off to think of a reply!! ))

((*Takes a bow* My poor confused Kougukins. ^_^

I did not see it coming either, honestly! Can't wait for Charlie's reaction! ))

((Finished!! Sorry about the kiss, I made it a few seconds longer than it should have been *sheepish grin* But I'm sorted, and I've not written too much. 2000 words. I call that progress

I feel rather stupid now though, I made myself cry :') Listen to 'I'm Kissing You' by Des'ree, it may be a little slow for your tastes, but it's a great song all the same You may recognise it if you've seen the modern-ish day version of Romeo and Juliet ))

Kougu's touch startled me slightly, as I hadn't quite expected him to have the courage to get anywhere near me so soon after recovering from his 'moment'. It was a different touch to the one back by the shop when he'd put his hands on my shoulder. It was warmer, calmer. It was that touch that made me turn to him, even with the aid of his fingers tracing the back of my head. My eyes searched his face for any clue to what he wanted, but the look in his expression told me I probably wasn't going to get an answer. He looked dazed, and I doubted he even had a clue what he was doing. To be honest, if he did, he probably wouldn't have got anywhere near me. Still, I didn't fight him. Instead, I let him lead me and patiently waited for the answer to my question: What is he doing? I didn't bother asking him full-out, because I knew Kougu probably not give me a straight answer, or one that made sense to me, anyway. I sat completely still, watching his head as it slowly bowed down to mine. Again, I remained calm, but something inside me was desperately wondering what was going on. What is he doing? His eyes glistened with thick, wet tears which streamed down his pale cheeks. I just hoped they were of something positive, because I couldn't have coped with upsetting him one more time. I looked up at him with wide, searching eyes. We'd never been so close before, and I was beginning to wonder whether he was going to pull back at all. I thought he was going to whisper something to me, although we were pretty much alone, so there wasn't really much need to get so close. But he continued to approach me, the gap between both our faces closed, and our lips met.

I didn't have time to fight him, I barely had time to even think about what I was doing. All I thought about was the feeling of Kougu's body warmth – however little of it there was – and the softness of his lips pressed up against mine. My tongue hovered uncertainly by the inside of my closed lips, desperately fighting back the urge to dart out and dance inside his mouth. Emotion rushed through me, like water gushing violently down a stream, and automatically my eyes slid closed. I felt everything he felt: relief, pain, sorrow, uncertainty, fear, hatred and self loathing. Yes, the self loathing was strong. But I also felt the love, the love of our friendship, and then the fear, my fear, that one day he would leave me. I don't want you to go... I felt the tears in my own eyes well up once more, and I gently rested a hand on each of his shoulders, letting my fingers slowly begin to creep to the back of his neck.
I was scared.
The knowing that he was going to leave one day and never return was almost too much to bare.

So I held on, pressed him close and dreaded the day I'd finally have to let go.


It ended soon, too soon, and I was forced to wake up to reality just in time to see Kougu fall backwards, eyes wide in horror. It was then I noticed how badly I'd invaded his personal space - despite the fact that he had kissed me first – and it had terrified him. My face mirrored his expression, and my mouth dropped in a gaping fashion. I tried desperately to find the words to explain my actions, but nothing came out other than a pathetic squeak. We sat in silence, staring at each other and waiting for someone to speak. My heart raced in panic, and shook my head quickly. Kougu scrambled away from me.
“I-I'm sorry...” I blurted, my eyes widening further. I'd ruined it, and I knew it. Had I not got so caught up with having him near me, we might have been able to enjoy the moment, and not worry about being within each other's personal space. But no...
“I have to go.” Kougu muttered, rushed to his feet and darted out the door.No... My heart sank. I'd terrified him... He was going to snap... To be honest, that wasn't what was bothering me. It was the fact that I'd not even had a chance to say goodbye properly.
“Kougu... Kougu, wait- … Please...” It was no use.
He was gone.
I let out a long sigh, running a hand through my long, matted hair, trying desperately to work out what had happened in last minute or so. The conversation before remained crystal clear,but after that it was all somewhat of a blur. My tongue slowly ran over my chapped lips, the soft, salty tang of Kougu's tears teasing my taste buds (try saying that sentence over about ten times, I sure can't xD). What had led him to do it? Why had he done it in the first place? It just wasn't like him at all...

I then brought myself to the conclusion that it wasn't something I was going to figure out for myself. If I wanted the answer to that question, I'd have to ask Kougu and pray that he'd know it himself. Although, to be honest, I wasn't too sure he would, since it was so unlike him to choose to be so close for no visible reason. Still, I could always try... I pulled myself to my feet and stepped out the door and into the night. The frigid breeze slapped at my face and the sudden drop in temperature caused me to shiver violently. My eyes scanned the car park, trying to figure out where he may have got to. He couldn't have got far, temperatures this low were too cold, even for him. But if he had been desperate...
I scrunched my eyes closed, pushing the thought from my head. Kougu was here, he had to be. It was just a matter of finding out where. “Kougu?” I asked the thick cloud of darkness that swallowed a large fraction of my vision, yet I refused to give in. “Kougu?” I repeated, this time a little louder. Where was he?
A flash of movement caught my attention and my head snapped to the side, just in time to hear a foot slowly scrape across the gravel, as if it were already on the ground. There.
I fell into a jog towards the flash of movement, ignoring the chill in the air which caused the hairs on my pores to stand on end. My feet tapped rhythmically across the small car park to Antonio's van, and I soon slowed to a slow walk as I crept around the edge just in time to see a figure sat, sandwiched between the van and a wooden post which was part of the ugly-looking fence that surrounded the property. He was hidden within the thick, black shadow of the van, and his face was hidden behind his jet-black fringe which had fallen over his dark eyes. The only thing that told me for certain it was Kougu, was the inhumanly pale skin tone, and the way he was hunched over, hugging his knee. He studied his injured hand as if he'd just discovered he had one. The deep frown was visible even in darkness, and the sight made me almost smile.

“The jumper may have been handy, me thinks,” I asserted, leaning my shoulder against the back of the van. I I sighed, lingering uncertainly in the light, wondering what to do next. Defeated, I rubbed my tear-stained eyes and stuffed my hands in my pockets. I had to say something.
“Hey.” Well, it was better than nothing. “Mind if I join you?”
I waited for a brief moment for a response, then gave up and sat beside him anyway. I shivered.
God... It was cold in there. How did he cope? Rubbing my goose-pimpled arms, I brought my knees to my chest and rested my arms by my stomach. The night was silent like a broken clock; you're waiting for it to tick, to make some sort of noise, anything... But nothing happens. It's almost like you can sense something's wrong, that the cogs aren't turning, the hands aren't moving...

A cricket chirped suddenly beside me, causing me to stir slightly. I looked over to a small bush of grass with a slight frown and watched as the small creature crawled away into the bushes, singing away to itself. My head shook in amusement. This place seemed to be crawling with insects at night, it was almost unreal. My gaze then slowly arose into the sky, watching in bewilderment the stars and the unusually-sized moon risen high in the sky. It looked beautiful. If only Antonio's van hadn't completely ruined my field of vision, I might had been able to admire it more. I sighed tiredly, and rested my head up against the wooden post behind me. It had been some long day.

“When me and my brother were younger, we used to ask about the stars quite a lot. I was doing a bit about astronomy at school, and Alex – my brother – naturally wanted to join in with the new game.” Gaze fixed on the stars above our heads, I continued to explain, a far-away look in my eyes. “My dad was into astronomy, you see. Well eventually, he got sick of us asking how big planets were, how many there were, how big the universe was and how we could be sure. So, he ended up shutting us both up by saying if you stare up at the stars long enough, you can begin to see little spaceships flying across the sky.” My eyes lit up at the memory, and I stared right up above me at the moon, like a freshly polished coin hanging proud, looking back down at the world with invisible smugness. “We would go into the back yard, get out a pair of fold-up deck chairs and sit out for hours on end, just staring up at the sky. We found nothing, obviously. Mum and dad would sit in the kitchen with a cup of tea or coffee, watching us through the window with smiles on their faces. They'd sit there until we fell asleep, then they'd both get blankets, wrap them around us and carry us to bed.” My smile deepened, and I could feel a hot sensation behind my eyes that warned me I was probably going to end up crying again. I looked down at my cold, shivering hands, intertwining my fingers and rubbing my palms together in attempt to gain the warmth I no longer had. “It's amazing how gullible children can be,” I added with a faint attempt at laughter. I let out a large, cat-like yawn and slumped back against the fence. “I just wish I could remain in that world, the one with unicorns, princesses, talking animals, pixies and lepricorns. Life would be so much simpler. Still,” I shrugged, “life is never that simple, is it? I think the only similarity is this world has ogres. Ogre Samuels, for example.” I turned to him, eyes sparkling and searched him for a reaction. I just hoped he'd forgiven me for getting ahead of myself. I'd completely forgotten about his fears and done only what I wanted. How much more selfish could I be?
The problem was, I was scared to lose him. But we'd already been through it one-too-many times. He was going to die, and there would be nothing I could do about it. But it was what he wanted, therefore I would do my utmost best to make him happy one more. Besides, happiness was what he deserved, therefore I would grant him his wish.
But I'd never forgive myself for it.

((Superspeed Polo! *Flaunts cape* Hope this is good enough, I didn't have any very good ideas, but I thought Kougu was being somewhat adorable, so I just left him to his own devices. Not my best work, but it's only a little over 2000 words, so I think we're doing well. Hehe!
Happy typing. ))

Kougu heard Charlie’s voice as though from a distance – quietly calling his name. It echoed through the empty chasms of his mind, fluttering about like something delicate and fleeting. He couldn’t help but wonder if it was real…
Staring into the gaping hole in his palm, Kougu’s eyes slid out of focus, the shining crimson beauty of blood drops welling and overflowing enchanting him. He heard Charlie’s voice a second time – louder and clearer now – and an unexpected calmness washed over him. He felt peaceful… Content. It was as though nothing in the world could go wrong.
He was in his safe place – lost in his thoughts – and for once the negative ones were sealed away. He never wanted to leave this place… It was like a sweet dream from which he need not wake. Only he knew that this time he would not give in to the temptation to stay in this dreamland. Oh no… Reality was far too sweet with Charlie’s voice still ringing in his ears.

With pain subtly caressing his senses, Kougu thought back to before. After the kiss, he had been too shocked to think of anything but escaping – fleeing the scene and shirking all responsibility for his brief lapse in judgment… But was that really what it had been? Thinking back, he remembered the feeling of meeting Charlie’s warm lips. There had been no panic then… Just a burning affection like nothing he had ever felt. It had been a magical feeling, just to have his precious friend so near to him. Nothing else had mattered… It was as though the world had stopped and watched for a while, and all the hardship life loaded on him hardly even mattered. After years of avoiding any kind of contact with anybody, he had almost forgotten his humanity. Because the truth was, humans needed one another. It was instinctive to seek comfort in another’s arms, because it was simply safer when one was not alone. That was how the feeling of loneliness had been born… Through an empty fear that humans failed to comprehend. Kougu had thought himself above it… Until he had finally experienced the release from it. Now he craved company… Every moment apart from Charlie was one more than he could take, and every minute with her was one step further from the suicidal desires that had always been his only comfort.
She had, quite literally, saved him from himself – simply by being herself.
The simplicity of it all astounded him… How something so huge could be so… Tiny.
And in turn, how something as small and ordinary as a kiss, one heartbeat of closeness, could change his entire view on the world, life, everything.

But was it really okay? Was all this really acceptable, or was it just another disaster in disguise? Charlie… He had given her no warning, since he’d had none himself. He had just suddenly kissed her, on an impulse, a fleeting emotion… It was so unlike him – he was never impulsive, yet it had just happened… Before he’d even paused to think of what Charlie thought. What if she had been repulsed? If she didn’t want the affection he had shown. He was her friend, first and foremost, and if that was all she saw him as, had he pushed it too far? Was this even beyond friendship? He didn’t know… He didn’t understand any of it. For all the things he knew, he could not for the life of him work out something that was so simple to most...
Would Charlie forgive him? Would she hate him? Would she leave him…? And what would he do if she did?

Suddenly, the panic set in again, and Kougu felt a powerful desire to run – just to get up, and run until his breath ran out. Then to run more, and more, until suffocation set in and his legs collapsed beneath him. To push himself on and on until he ran clear off the face of the earth… But he calmly pushed the panic aside, for he had resigned himself to facing the situation now, and he would do so with sense and logic. Think… If Charlie were upset, would she be looking for him now? If she had not wanted his kiss, why had she not pulled away? No – Charlie had accepted the kiss. More than that, even… He could still feel the soft, soothing touch of her hands sliding from his shoulders to his neck… His skin still tingled with her warmth – a warmth that could not be mistaken. She had not rejected him… She had wanted the affection he showed her, and her touch had proved that.
Somehow, this thought scared him even more than his original panic, and he felt an uncomfortable lurching in his stomach as fear twisted his gut. Yet it was a good kind of fear. A thrill, a rush of adrenaline…

Sliding his thoughts back to the present, Kougu raised a hand and slid it slowly over his neck, calmly considering the fact that, mere moments before, Charlie’s hands had done the exact same thing – and he had not minded, not in the slightest. Perhaps afterwards, but during the moment itself he had been comforted by her touch.
Musing over this, Kougu barely realized when Charlie’s elongated shadow fell over him, blocking the light of the bright Hunter’s moon overhead. She said something, but Kougu knew not what it was, for his gaze was trained on the single shaft of bright moonlight still visible between Charlie and the truck.
Then she moved forward, and it vanished.
Reality dawned on him like a splash of cold water, and Kougu slowly raised his gaze to Charlie’s face – feeling what he could only describe as an electric shock at the familiar sight. It was strange… All he could think of was the moment their lips had met. It was like a poison polluting his mind… Something filthy and impure. He was ashamed… And yet, he no longer regretted it. ”Hey. Mind if I join you?”
Her words washed over him, not quite entering his mind – yet he shook his head all the same. He felt ashamed to be near her, but he craved her company. Craved it desperately, like a drug.
She sat down next to him, and Kougu tensed – feeling his dreamlike calmness evaporate instantly and warning himself not to panic, yet he cowered away from Charlie – afraid to face what she had to say to him, afraid to take responsibility for his actions. He flinched as she spoke, as though her voice was the lash of a whip on his back, but when she said nothing of the… Well, what happened before – he relaxed slightly.
She did not mention his mistake at all, but simply sat beside him, and began telling him a story. A sweet story of her own childhood… Her voice was calm, her words were plain, and in time he felt himself calming, too. Held rapt by her words, Kougu watched Charlie with wide, innocent eyes as she spoke, blinking placidly and hanging on everything she said. He could picture it… Charlie and her brother, sitting under the stars… He wondered, maybe, if things had gone a little differently… If he had been a little a wiser, a little stronger… Would he have been able to tell the same stories about his sister? Would it have been her sitting next to him now, instead of Charlie?
He couldn’t even remember her name.
He had shut out all memories of her for so long… That her existence had nearly been erased. But there was one thing he could not forget: That look in her wide, shining eyes as she had exploded into pieces right before his eyes.

Finally, Charlie finished her story, and leaned back against the wall behind her. Kougu was still a moment, shifting uncertainly, then hesitantly mirrored her action, his eyes still trained on her face – trusting, yet doubtful – like the eyes of a stray dog after somebody throws him a bone.
Which is indeed what Charlie had just done…
“I just wish I could remain in that world, the one with unicorns, princesses, talking animals, pixies and lepricorns. Life would be so much simpler. Still,” She shrugged, “life is never that simple, is it? I think the only similarity is this world has ogres. Ogre Samuels, for example.”
At these words, Kougu glanced down with a chuckle, the faintest of smiles lifting his lips. “You’re right, there.” He murmured quietly, finally summoning the courage to speak – though clearly not enough to say anything really worthwhile.
He gave another tiny chuckle, then glanced toward Charlie again, considering the situation. She was acting as though nothing had happened… And treating him like a child. It occurred briefly to him that he might have been insulted, but he was not. No… He was grateful, deeply grateful. Somehow, Charlie always seemed to know the right way to deal with him… What to do, what to say. It was literally as though she could look into his heart, and see exactly what he needed.
“Charlie…” He murmured quietly, finally finding the courage to speak, yet dropping his gaze as he did so, his timid eyes dancing across the gravel. “Thank you.”
He drew in a slow breath, summoning the courage to say more – then he resigned himself to decline the generous invitation to escape that Charlie had offered him. This was his mistake, and he would fix it.
He looked up at her, forcing himself to hold her gaze despite the fear that raged up instantly within him.
“I know that you’re trying to protect me… And for that I thank you. I needed it…” He trailed off, glancing down again, twisting his hands nervously in his lap, and not seeming to notice the pain of his ruined left hand.
“I’m grateful for you not mentioning… What happened before… But I- I can’t run from it, much as I want to. I owe you an explanation…”
He took a deep breath, running his fingers through his dark hair and willing his heart to stop attacking his ribcage for fear it suddenly gave out on him. He looked up to the sky, watching the stars twinkling peacefully overhead, and slowly began to tell his own story.
“First off, I’m sorry… Really, I- I didn’t mean to just… Well, I surprised myself as well, but I feel bad. I shouldn’t have just… Kissed you like that. It wasn’t fair.” Drawing in a long breath, he went on – a little less hesitantly now. “I- I hope you’re not too upset with me. It’s just, I was feeling so terrible, and I was…” He broke off, then resumed in a shaking whisper. “I was so scared.” He swallowed nervously, then continued in his usual voice. “That you hated me. That I would lose you… But then, what you said, it somehow cured everything, and I felt instantly better… I’d never felt so happy in my life before. Never understood like that. And I just forgot myself. I forgot to think, and acted on my emotions, and-“ He broke off, the heat suddenly returning to his face as the memory of the kiss flashed through his mind.
“Forgive me…” He muttered softly. “I’ve seldom… Opened up like this before.”
Kougu took a moment to calm his nerves, letting the silence of the night wash over him. It was cold, but he didn’t feel it at all. In fact, all he felt was the heat of his nerves, his shame… Somewhere nearby, a cricket chirped – perhaps the same one he had heard before. Way out in the distance, a night bird called, and Kougu felt the sound in the depths of his soul. It strengthened him, and suddenly, he was ready to go on.

“I don’t know when it started… I think probably, back then with Jimmy. He asked me if I’d ever been in love, and it got me thinking. I knew even then that I loved you. That I had for a while… But being in love was something new, something different. And I told him that I hadn’t. But since then, I’ve been thinking – just thinking – and I haven’t been able to stop. Considering everything, trying to work it out… And then, at the park…” He paused, and gave a brief chuckle, the faintest of smiles curving his lips. “Well, that stung – and honestly, it was the first time I’ve ever felt truly angry about anything other than him. I think maybe that was when I realised, though I didn’t know it at the time.
If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t have bothered being angry.
I was just desperate for you to give me a chance to explain – but then the next thing I knew, you were gone. Then there was nothing for it but to go after you… And somewhere between then and now, it hit me.”
He fell silent, then gave a faint chuckle. He raised his head again, looking Charlie in the eye and drawing up his shoulders in a shrug.
“I don’t even understand it… And correct me if I’m wrong… But I-“ He broke off again with another chuckle, though he wasn’t even sure what was amusing him so much. “I think I’ve fallen for you?”
He threw up his hands in a helpless gesture of confusion, and ended his speech with a weak smile – his dark eyes searching Charlie’s face with a mixture of trepidation and anticipation. He wasn’t even sure what he wanted her to say… He just wanted to hear her say something, because his thoughts were far too confusing for him to deal with alone.
She had wanted him to open up and talk about his feelings…
Well, he had certainly done that.
Could she handle it…?
Or would this be too much for her?
There was nothing for it but to wait and see, so that was what he did. With bated breath, he waited – his dark eyes dancing over her face – vulnerability like he’d never felt before gnawing away at his soul.

((2800 words with block... I have no idea how I manage this o.0))

There was a quiet murmur as Kougu calmly agreed with my light joke, and I felt my heart leap as his lips tugged a faint, honest smile.
Wow, for a second there I'd thought he was going to ask me to leave or something.
But of course, he did no such thing, and I was glad. More than glad, in fact, I was over the moon. I'd been so anxious that he would just shrink away, bow his head and refuse to talk to me in fear that he may do something he would dearly regret later on. But of course, he surprised me once again, and remained perfectly calm as he sat peacefully beside me. His lips hinted a smile, a reaction I could only guess was from my completely failed joke, and I was thankful he'd at least made an attempt to lighten up.
Unless, of course, he truly had found it funny, which I doubted.
Kougu then bowed his head, and I had a sickening feeling that he was going to go silent again and stubbornly refuse to even look me in the eye. We'd never gone without doing or saying anything for so long before, but a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach said there was a first for everything, the voice in my head reminded me that it had been my own stupid fault for saying the inexcusable things I had at the park. There was no way I could take those back, no matter how much I so wished it were possible. There were so many foul words I never thought I'd ever say in my life, and the problem was I couldn't just turn round and say I didn't mean them at all, because I did. Some of them, anyway. But I'd said them before I'd even thought about what the consequences could have been. I'd been so selfish... So utterly selfish...
“Charlie...” My attention was slowly dragged back to the present at the use of my name. Well, it seemed Kougu was talking to me, after all. “Thank you.” My eyebrows twitched upwards in surprise.
Now then, I had definitely not seen that coming.
What was he thanking me for? What could I have possibly done for him that was worth thanking me over? No matter which way I looked at it, I could not understand his soft words. Thank you...
Suddenly, Kougu's eyes were dragged up to meet mine, his gaze almost forceful which caused my blood to chill momentarily. All this waiting... It was killing me. How did people manage to wait for so long, when they knew the possibility their happiness would remain was so small? Anxiety caused my stomach to churn, but I brought up the courage to hold back my feelings, lock my eyes on his, and wait to hear what he had to say before I started skipping to any conclusions. A little late for that, don't you think? I let out a quiet groan at the accusing voice inside my head and looked away, totally giving in to the whole 'look him in the eye' thing. My words from earlier haunted my mind, forcing me to face the reality that I had hurt him, far more than he had hurt me. He may as well have ripped me apart in that pub, as we both knew it was what I deserved.
Why was he being so nice to me? I mean, I knew he wasn't exactly ecstatic, but he was hardly furious with me. It was his expression that gave it all away, despite the shadows he was hiding within. I could see it in the glint of his eyes, the hints in his pale lips. He wasn't furious. He was calm, peaceful. But he was silent, and it was bothering me that he'd barely said anything yet. Okay, I understand the term 'actions speak louder than words', but what good was that, when your best friend barely shows much emotion as it is? I barely understood his body language, mostly because he was just sitting, the same as me, looking at me and-
Oh... and he was speaking.
“I know that you’re trying to protect me… ” He paused for a brief moment, yet it was that brief moment that caused relief to be absorbed into my system, and my entire body literally sank calmly to the floor. And there was I thinking he was scared to speak to me! “And for that I thank you. I needed it… I’m grateful for you not mentioning… What happened before… But I- I can’t run from it, much as I want to. I owe you an explanation…”
My head shook involuntarily, but I knew if I hadn't let it be, I'd have blurted out a load of garbage neither of us could have been doing with. I'd probably have startled him. With him being in the state he was, he probably wouldn't have appreciated me chipping in like I really, desperately wanted to. He thought he owed me? After everything that had happened, and he really thought he owed me and explanation? “Kougu... Kougu you don-”
But it was too late; he was off again.
“First off, I’m sorry… Really, I- I didn’t mean to just… Well, I surprised myself as well, but I feel bad. I shouldn’t have just… Kissed you like that. It wasn’t fair. I- I hope you’re not too upset with me. It’s just, I was feeling so terrible, and I was…” His voice dropped to a low, shaky whisper, and the emotion that I could sense from just by his way of speaking was so unlike him, I was almost tempted to ask him if he was okay. But once again, I let him carry on, listening intently to what eh had to say. “I was so scared.” Them be began to carry on, back o his usual voice, but the emotion was all there in every syllable. “That you hated me. That I would lose you… But then, what you said, it somehow cured everything, and I felt instantly better… I’d never felt so happy in my life before. Never understood like that. And I just forgot myself. I forgot to think, and acted on my emotions, and-. Forgive me... I've seldom... Opened like this before.”
Admittedly, I had to smile. It was definitely obvious he'd never spoken so much about his feelings before, due to his constant hesitation and the uncertainty in his tone that what he was saying nay harm me in any way, or whether he could put his thoughts into words. Still, I could pick out each little detail, each little point he was trying to put across. For the first time in a while I truly understood him. Still, I couldn't seem to stop the guilt from prodding at my heart because of what I put him through. I hadn't even given him a chance to explain himself back at the park. I'd just walked away...
I watched slightly dazedly as Kougu's confidence slowly made it's way back into his system, and after a moment to calm himself, he continued his explanation.
“I don’t know when it started… I think probably, back then with Jimmy. He asked me if I’d ever been in love, and it got me thinking. I knew even then that I loved you. That I had for a while… But being in love was something new, something different. And I told him that I hadn’t. But since then, I’ve been thinking – just thinking – and I haven’t been able to stop. Considering everything, trying to work it out… And then, at the park…” I nodded, bringing my full concentration back to him and suddenly the words began to sink in. Oh, so that's what had been going on whilst I'd been knocked unconscious, then? Guilt stabbed me like a dagger to the heart as I thought through once again what had been said, those poisonous words, the fire, the hatred... Why had I said those things? Why couldn't I have taken a moment to think before opening my big mouth?
“Well, that stung – and honestly, it was the first time I’ve ever felt truly angry about anything other than him. I think maybe that was when I realised, though I didn’t know it at the time. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t have bothered being angry. I was just desperate for you to give me a chance to explain – but then the next thing I knew, you were gone. Then there was nothing for it but to go after you… And somewhere between then and now, it hit me. ” My eyebrows slowly drew into a tiny frown, causing my face to shadow slightly due to the silver rays of the moon high up in the dark, midnight sky. What did he mean 'it hit me'? What was he talking about? I was dying to ask him, but my lips remained stubbornly closed. It was better than way, really, since he looked like he was about to tell me. I watched his shadowy, black eyes, which in any other circumstances would have matched perfectly with the dark, cloudless sky, what with the rich, dark blue and the faint, glistening lights of the stars that lit them up with life, with emotion.
To be honest, this was probably the most emotion I'd seen in him since... Well, for a long while.
Kougu's shoulders rose into a helpless shrug. “I don’t even understand it… And correct me if I’m wrong… But I-... I think I’ve fallen for you?”

The feeling I felt then was something I honestly cannot describe now, since it was something I had never experienced before in my entire life. I couldn't quite understand it, it just seemed like a complete mix of so many emotions I couldn't pick out which was which. Had he just said what I thought he'd said? So in other words, he was in love with me. He didn't understand his own feelings but he understood that. I should have been happy, delighted, elated. But instead, I was...
Was that-
Was that... Dread?
It surprised me – well, that was an understatement – it appalled me that I was thinking the things I was, but I couldn't help it. No... No, not another... The only men who loved me, ended up causing pain to either me, or other people. That, or I ended up causing pain to them. I'd already done that to Kougu now far, far too many times, now. I couldn't let him suffer anymore because of me. I admit, I loved him, too. I loved him with all my heart. But if I wanted to make a difference to Kougu's life, however short it may be, I had to put my feelings aside. Which reminded me... How much time did I have left? How long would it be before Kougu's father decided the deal was off? I couldn't just abandon Kougu, but I couldn't abandon our home, either. That home meant everything to me and my mother, and no doubt she'll have realised by now that there was no longer a 'home' to go back to. I'd not seen her since just after dawn, since I'd darted out of the house as soon as I'd noticed the flames...
The flames, the dancing flames... Laughing. Jeering. Shouting. Mocking...
No... No! No, not again...
No.
No.
No!
Forget it. Let it pass. The damage has been done. It's over. Concentrate on the main priority.
Who was the main priority? Oh yes, Kougu.
How could I forget?
“I'm afraid you're the only one who can answer that one.” I muttered with a tiny smile in response to his final question, although I had a feeling it wasn't really aimed at anyone in particular. Still, I carried on, forcing back the dreaded memories of the past recent events, and wrapped my mind around our present. Everything Kougu said now was important, and I had to concentrate on him. I owed him at least that much.
“And you don't need to apologise. Really. You did nothing wrong.” My lips twitched further upwards, and I looked down at my hands, remembering the feeling of his lips touching mine. The emotion that that had given us both was certainly nothing to apologise for. I had certainly been ecstatic about it, and he had admitted feeling the same.
If he hadn't felt that way, he wouldn't have done it in the first place.
“I admit, you took me by surprise. But in the end, if it makes you happy...” I trailed off, a thought suddenly occurring to me.
If it made him happy, I'd do it. I'd always be there to make him happy when he needed me.
If I could, I would fix him. I could try, anyway.
I would fix him, and I would use the love between us to help me reach my goal.
Besides, how many things had he done to change my life? And how many things had I done in return? Nada.
I'd done nothing for him, or anything that was worth remembering. Therefore, that could be my excuse. I could improve his life, make him feel warm, comforted.
I would be his medicine.
“Kougu, I've been thinking...” I began uncertainly, intertwining my fingers nervously on my lap. They had gone pale in the icy wind, almost completely numb to the feeling of the rapidly dropping temperatures of the countryside. My hair fell down past my shoulders, a lock falling over my face. I didn't even bother to brush it back. Instead, I flicked my head slightly and let it fall to my temple, so at least I could see properly. “Maybe... Maybe it's not medication you need. Maybe the pills aren't helping you for a reason.” I looked up at him then, my eyes thoughtful, my expression soft. “I admit, I'm not usually one for believing in fate. But just this one time... It may just be, that the pills... Fancy pills and tablets, they ease and stop illnesses, to an extent, anyway. You said that you'd tried everything. But you haven't, have you?” I sighed, clenching my teeth for a moment as they began to chatter, then continued quietly. “Maybe it's not the pills, or the medication that you need. Maybe... Maybe it's me.” I swallowed suddenly, my lips stretching out into a wide, cat-like yawn. Late nights mixed with early mornings never really worked well with me.
“Kougu, I will do what I can to fix you. But I need you to consider what I ask of you.”
I looked back down at my hands, blowing once into my palms to warm the skin and pressed them gently between my thighs. My jumper would really have come in handy right now...
“ If you're going to leave, or die, I don't want you to do it because you think you don't belong. Place... Place doesn't exist, I don't care what you've been told. Whoever taught you – although I think I can guess who – must have got mixed up with 'place' and 'respect'. They are two very different things. Place on Earth... Definitely doesn't exist. Respect, on the other hand, does. No, I want you to do this because it's what you truly want. I don't want you throwing your life away over something so petty. You won't live the same life twice, so I've decided...” There was a loud scraping noise as the soles of my trainers dragged beneath me, and I pulled myself to my feet. I looked down at Kougu, clenching my fists to force back the desperate shivers that were threatening my limbs. My eyes twinkled with life once again, and I let my lips tug up into a confident, almost eager smile. “If you really have to go, I want the last memories you have of your life to be a few of the best.” I offered him a hand, looking him right in his eyes, and my smile broadened. “I want to show you what you're missing.”
My smile enlightened, and I felt my eyes relax, giving me an unusually wise look about me. This was probably the most deep thinking I'd done in a long while.
“Are you with me?”
If he said yes, at least I could for fill some sort of purpose. I could make him smile, and show him what it truly feels like to actually live his life.
If he said no, well, I don't know what I'd do.
Still there was no point worrying.
All I needed to do was be patient.

((Sorry for the Power Play. Sorry for ay errors. Feel free to time skip or whatever. Haha!
I wrote this when I was already tired, so I was like... *Bleh* But it came out long enough, and hopefully it isn't too bad. I won't know until I actually read it. Haha!))

If it makes you happy.’ Happy… Was that what he was feeling? Happiness? Perhaps – but Kougu was certain that it was more complicated than that. Gnawing worriedly on his lip, Kougu went through Charlie’s words in his head once again. She had started by telling him that he had no reason to apologize, and that he had done nothing wrong, but he wasn’t entirely sure he agreed with that statement. And Charlie’s next words had backed up his doubts, and strengthened them.
‘You took me by surprise’, she had said. Yes… ‘Surprise’. It was a mild word to use, but the meaning remained the same. His actions had been unexpected, shocking, surprising. She had been given no change to object – no chance to have a choice, whether or not she was willing to accept his kiss.
He still couldn’t believe he had done that… But now was not the time to dwell on it. Now was the time to consider those five little words that bothered him most:
‘If it makes you happy.’
That was what Charlie had said in the end, that was what she had decided. But he could not help but wonder… What did she mean by it? He was curious now, and he wanted to know: How did Charlie truly feel about him? Where did he stand? What exactly was he to her? Barely more than a stranger, a friend? Maybe even something more?
It all seemed so cliché, yet he hadn’t a clue. He didn’t understand any of this, not in the slightest. How was it that he could calculate the time it would take for a bullet to reach his head as fast as a finger could pull a trigger, yet he completely failed to comprehend something as simple as a common relationship.
‘If it makes you happy’.
Why had she said it? Why those words? Perhaps he was being paranoid, but it seemed to him that what Charlie was saying, was that she would accept him, and accept his… Was it love? Whatever it was – she would accept it, ‘if it made him happy’. Surely, though, Charlie had to understand by now that the most important thing to him was her happiness?! He didn’t want her to do what made him happy! He had no use for happiness, since he had no understanding of it. He didn’t know what would make him happy… He knew what he wanted, though. He knew that damn well. And that was for Charlie to be happy; every foul minute of every lousy day of the cruel life that so tormented them both.
But what did Charlie want…? What did she truly want, to make her happy?
So many questions… And he hadn’t the courage to ask even one. So Kougu held his silence, and listened as Charlie went on, simply hoping that the answers he sought may come to him, without him every having to ask the questions that now haunted his already overflowing mind.

”Kougu, I’ve been thinking…” Charlie began, somewhat uncertainly, and it was all Kougu could do not to laugh. Been thinking, had she? In that case they were on the same page, for once. He had been thinking a fair bit himself. In fact. He couldn’t damn well stop himself!
‘If it makes you happy…’
What the hell did she mean?!
Wait…
Calm down…
Refocus.
“Maybe... Maybe it's not medication you need. Maybe the pills aren't helping you for a reason.”
Wait, what? What had Charlie just said…? He didn’t understand what medication had to do with anything.
Kougu’s thoughts travelled to the pills in his pocket. It was about time he took one, actually. But strangely enough, he wasn’t in pain. In fact, for the first time in a while, he felt fine. Tired, confused and frustrated with himself – but physically just… Fine. He frowned thoughtfully, then shrugged off the thoughts and turned his attention back to Charlie, who had continued speaking all throughout his rather lengthy thought process, leaving him feeling disgruntled and a little guilty for not paying closer attention.
“Maybe it's not the pills, or the medication that you need.
At this suggestion, Kougu cocked his head and considered her thoughtfully – mysterious blue eyes wide in curiosity, and seeming so innocent – despite the horrors they hid.
Maybe it wasn’t medication that he needed. No, he knew he didn’t need the medication. He simply relied on it out of habit. He relied on it because he needed something to rely on. Everybody did, because humans were weak creatures. Some had religion, and they believed that their God had a path laid out for them. Others believed in karma, and strove to do what they hoped would reward them. Then there were those who simply believed in themselves, and did whatever made them who they wanted to be.
No matter what the case, everybody needed a way to get by. That little ‘something’ to fall back on. To be a guiding light in darkness, to explain the inexplicable, to bring about miracles that fixed problems impossible to fix.
When there was nothing to depend on, and nothing to rely on, a person would be dead inside. The cruel truth was, life was too harsh and too confusing for anybody to face, so they made excuses for themselves, believing that some greater power was in control, and would guide them through it.
That was why they were alive, when Kougu was dying… His mind had never allowed him such escapes. Such excuses.

Well, now he’d gone off on quite a tangent. He really had to stop drifting off in thought like that…
Stop.
Step back.
Remember the point…

It wasn’t pills he needed, and it wasn’t medication. No, she was right. It was…
”Maybe... Maybe it's me.”
Kougu blinked in surprise as Charlie spoke his thoughts out loud. He straightened his back, leaning backward slightly as though to consider the situation from a further distance. Even though he had been thinking the exact thing, he had not expected Charlie to actually say it. As such, he had no response. He simply sat in dumb shock, staring blankly at her without a single response entering his mind.
He needed her… And she knew it. He wasn’t sure what to think of that, but somehow it seemed… Important.
It took Kougu to realise that Charlie had resumed speaking once more, and then he could have kicked himself for delaying his reply so long that he had not spoken at all. His silence must have been getting to Charlie by now, yet he simply had no words left to speak. He had spoken too much, and it was as though he had none left. He had simply used up every voicable thought in his mind.

“Kougu, I will do what I can to fix you. But I need you to consider what I ask of you.”
He glanced up, suddenly fully attentive and solemn – his mind no longer wandering. Somehow, he had a feeling this topic would need his focus. Something about Charlie’s tone told him that whatever followed would be serious.
Indeed, she launched into a speech, just as he had expected. A speech about life, death, respect… And mostly: ‘Place’. That word again, the one his father so loved. The one that had always made such sense to him…
And now…
It didn’t exist?!
Kougu blinked in surprise, but listened with rapt interest as Charlie went on. He was not going to ignore and deny her opinion… No, he trusted her now, so he would hear her out. He would listen to what she had to say, consider it, and see where it took him.
So Kougu watched Charlie with fascination, slowly absorbing all that she said. If he wanted to die, she would let him go… But only if that was what he truly wanted – not for the simple reason that the world had no place for him, which indeed he still believed.
Still… That had never been the reason he had wanted to die. The reason was far simpler than that: He just didn’t want to hurt anybody any more. And perhaps, during his weakest moments, he didn’t want to hurt any more, either.
Perhaps that was why it touched him so deeply that Charlie was willing to let him die, for his own sake. It seemed strange, looking at it like that, but somehow… It just meant so much to him, that for his sake, Charlie was willing to let him die… Even though she didn’t want him to. Ironically, it almost made him want to keep living… Just to spend every moment he had left in her company.
“If you really have to go, I want the last memories you have of your life to be a few of the best.”
Charlie’s words broke through his thoughts, and Kougu looked up to see a smile on her face. “I want to show you what you're missing.”
As she spoke, something in Charlie’s face changed. Kougu could not quite explain it, but he had never seen her look like this before. He watched her, considering her outstretched hand, and felt a flash of emotion run through him. As always, he couldn’t quite understand it, though if he had to put one main label on it… He would have to call it trust. Something about Charlie’s expression at that moment invoked such a rush of trust in Kougu that he felt he barely even knew himself. He would trust Charlie with his life. A life that was suddenly precious, since it alone was keeping him with her – and he never wanted to leave.
’If it makes you happy…’
Yes, it did make him happy. She made him happy. And in time, she would be happy, too. Her words gave him hope, and Kougu suddenly knew that he would not fail. No matter what, he would not allow Charlie to suffer any more. He would make her happy, no matter what it took. That, and that alone, would be what it took to make him happy.
Finally, he understood. It had been that simple all along.

“Are you with me?”
Charlie’s question echoed in his ears, and slowly, Kougu raised his head and looked away from her hand, now meeting her eyes directly – his expression as inscrutable and unreadable as ever.
Then, slowly, a gentle smile curved his lips.
“Always.” He murmured quietly, his expression softening and his smile lingering more easily as he reached for her hand.
His cold fingers closed tenderly around it – his touch showing the gentle warmth that his icy skin could not.
For all that Charlie had said, he spoke just one word. He did not reply to anything… But that one word said all that he had heard, all that he had learned, and all that he had decided. It had more meaning behind it than any speech he could have made. He wasn’t sure if Charlie would understand… Perhaps not at all… But somehow, he thought she would, though she might be the only one who could.
After all, if he was to tell anybody else that one word could say more than a thousand, they would probably think he had gone insane.
Well… Bad example, considering his lack of sanity, but all the same…
Jerking free of his thoughts, Kougu climbed to his feet with the assistance of Charlie’s hand. The moment he was standing he released her hand, and watched her for a moment. Then he looked away, and stared thoughtfully toward Antonio’s truck. He needed fuel…
Without another word, Kougu walked away from Charlie, peering through the window into the truck. As luck would have it, there was a spare can of petrol lying on the floor, and the truck seemed to have been left unlocked. ((C’mon, our poor characters deserve a bit of impossible luck. Haha! ))
He opened the door, grabbed the can, then closed it again and returned his attention to Charlie.

“You’re cold.” He commented tonelessly, glancing back at her and letting his eyes skim her blue-tinted lips. “Come.”
And with that, he slipped an arm around her shoulders and lead her through the deserted parking lot.
Blood dripped over the tips of his fingers and down the side of the can as his injured hand protested painfully to being used, but Kougu ignored it, and walked on up the hill – his right arm still draped warmingly over Charlie’s shoulders. Though he neither looked at her, nor spoke to her. It seemed he didn’t have all that much to say.
So he walked in silence, traipsing on up the hill until they finally reached the bike, where he came to a standstill. He removed his arm from Charlie’s shoulders, then stepped over to the bike, finding the fuel cap and pouring the petrol in. ((Forgive my lack of description… I put it down to my lack of car expertise!))
Once done, he turned back to Charlie and handed her the key with a gentle smile. “You drive back. I’ll walk and meet you there.” He offered softly, shifting his weight back onto his heels and waiting for Charlie to state her argument, since he knew her well enough to be relatively certain she’d have some sort of objection, which he probably would not be able to counter. He would try, though… And somehow, he would find a way to get his point across. Charlie looked frozen, he could not let her walk all the way back. And he wasn’t sure he could trust himself to drive her…
He just couldn’t put her at risk.
Not Charlie.
She was too precious…

((Really sorry, I keep saying it'll get shorter and it never does I guess it's just making up for all the days I've missed this week ))

A faint halo of warmth embraced me as Kougu's long fingers wrapped themselves around my palm. There was a brief moment of pressure as he pulled himself to a stand, but I managed to keep my feet and, for the first time, we were holding hands without the worry that Kougu was going to get uncomfortable and snatch his hand away. Of course, hand-holding was nothing compared to the kiss in the pub, but I was so scared that my own foolish actions had been the cause of his scare, and that I would never be able to win back his trust acting the way I had when he got emotional. I had to control myself, if I wanted Kougu to do the same. So scared...
Although, I can't exactly say I hated the kiss. I didn't love it either, as it had brought on emotions I didn't even realise I had towards Kougu. But I was glad it had happened.
That, I couldn't deny.
I understood him far more than before, and to understand the misunderstood is something I hadn't managed to do so all that often, since I was never really all that good at 'understanding' people. I guess it was something to do with practice, although I couldn't quite comprehend how it had been me who had come to know Kougu so well, when it seemed he didn't even know himself. He saw himself as a danger, a madman, a starving lion released from a cramped, steel cage. The only reason he thought he wasn't going to kill me was because he felt drugged, perhaps by love, or happiness. On the other hand, when he saw himself as drugged, I saw him as sober. His true self. This was the Kougu I knew.
The boy who took me in.

Kougu slowly released his hand from my light grip, and for a moment we stared. Neither of us said a word, it was almost like our thoughts were speaking for us. His gaze then flicked to Antonio's truck. This caught my attention.
What was he doing? What was he thinking? I could sometimes pick out his thoughts by the way he acted, but this puzzled me. Was he thinking about transport? But surely he knew Tony and Alfredo would have to get out somehow...? Without so much as a word, Kougu began to drift away from me towards the truck and peered curiously into the front window. His face – although shadowed by the darkness of the trees behind – seeme4d to light up at the sight of something just below the front seat. My own curiosity became too much to bare, and so I followed his footsteps through the gravel to the small white van parked by the fence on the corner of the car park. I reached up onto my tiptoes to glance over his shoulder and, sure enough, there lay a small can of petrol sat carelessly on it's side near where the feet would be. I rose an eyebrow, What was he thinking?
Kougu then opened the door, which had seemingly been left unlocked, and retrieved the can and then closed the door again. I could only guess the other Spaniards had gone in to get something of theirs, or steal something of Tony's, then in a panic left the car open part way through fleeing. Which brought the question to mind: Where had Jimmy gone?

“You're cold,” Kougu's toneless voice released me from my thoughts and I glanced up to see him still carrying the can in one hand, seemingly ignoring the blood trickling down his fingertips. My brow furrowed. I'd have to make sure he had that treated...
Although, thinking back over what he'd said, I was honestly freezing. Don't remind me, I thought to myself, crossing my arms tightly and hunching my shoulders. I mean, really, how cold was it? Below zero, surely...
“Come” He ordered softly, and I felt his arm gently slip around my shoulders. I blow out, suddenly realising I'd been holding my breath the entire time, and found myself gasping. My teeth began to chatter loudly and I clenched my jaw in attempt to stop the trembling chatter front thundering from my lips. Automatically I leant in closer, as if trying to share whatever body warmth either of us had left, and willingly strode where he was leading me, out of the car park, onto the dark, boundless country road and up a small hill, where a motorbike had been left abandoned by a dry-stone wall. I recognised it as one of Jimmy's bikes, although the number plate was different. I then decided to put two and two together, and decided this was the bike Kougu had driven in. My head turned to him questioningly. Why had he brought me here? Were we finally going to go home?
Well, by 'home' I meant Kougu's home. Obviously.
But still, were we leaving? Just like that?
I turned to his hand and watched as it slithered from my shoulder, when I noticed the blood slowly dripping from his fingers. I then realised I'd been so caught up with my own personal feeling's I'd not noticed him clenching his fists so hard that the nails had dug into the bases of his palms. How selfish was that? I reached up to study his wounds, but before I could he moved away and began to pour the petrol into a small container beside the engine (don't worry, I don't know about cars or bikes that much either ). I waited patiently until he was done, and when he was he turned back and handed me the key with a kind smile. I rose an eyebrow. I could already tell where this was going.
“You drive back. I’ll walk and meet you there.”

“And what makes you think I can drive?” I asked with an amused smirk. I admit, I'd been on a motorbike before, many a time. But not once had I ever been told to drive one. I didn't know the first thing on driving, whether it was a car, a motorbike. Hell, I probably couldn't even ride a horse! Still, the look on his face told me I wasn't going to win this argument, so I slowly made my way over to the vehicle, running my fingertips over the large, black saddle. It couldn't be too hard, could it? I sighed, placing a hand on one of the rubber handles and swung my leg over. Woah... It felt rather weird, and extremely unstable without someone to hold onto. Perhaps it would be better if Kougu came as well...
Wait, how far out were we? Three miles? Four? And the weather certainly wasn't the type you wanted to walk home in, I didn't care what he could do. But if I tried to state my view, he probably wouldn't listen. He'd find some excuse: that he didn't trust himself, that he didn't want to hurt her, that he couldn't drive...
No, that wouldn't work. Of course he could drive! Otherwise, how would he have got there in the first place?
Never mind.
Perhaps if I tried guilt tripping him? Well, that could work, I guess. It was at least worth a try.
“Okay,” I said in an innocent 'I told you so' tone, raising my eyebrows. I tightened my grip around the handles and stared at the key curiously in my other hand. “But if I fall and break something,” I looked up at him, a smile hinting on my lips “I'm blaming you.” Without another word, I took a moment or two to search for a key hole. There was a light click as the key was slipped into the slot and the engine roared into life. Woah... The lights flickered on, sending bright rays of red and white down the road, bringing into view the car park a few hundred meters down. I tightened my grip so hard my knuckled faded to white, and tensed my body. It wasn't going to set off without my say so, was it? Oh god...
Okay, breathe. Bikes have brakes, yes? Yes. All I had to do was find them...
Then I remembered, I was still guilt tripping Kougu.
“Because, ya know, the last time I rode a bike on my own without stabilisers I fell off...” I shrugged. “And I'll only be going at thirty miles an hour.” I slowly turned my head to him, eyes wide and sparkling with innocence. “But of course, it's your call. Just because you want to walk, to save yourself. That's fine with me.” Okay, so the speech was sorted. Perhaps if I fluttered my eyelashes a bit...?

Little did I know what hid within the shadows beyond the headlights of the motorbike I sat perched upon.
(*Le gasp* )

”No,” Jimmy grunted, watching with narrow, beady eyes as the motorbike down the road lit up with life. “No, I'm not letting him get away with this. Not again.”
“Why not?” Jordan whispered anxiously beside him, the whole idea of trying to pick another fight with Kougu causing his stomach to churn. “Did you see the way he looked at you in the pub? Jimmy, the guy's insane. Don't you think you've already tried to pick a fight with him enough?”
He shrugged. “I'll only pick a fight with him if I need to. All I need from him for now is an explanation.”
“An explanation?”
Jimmy shook his head. “It doesn't matter.” His friend's anxious words suddenly dawned on him, and his head spun round to glare at his friend. “Wait, so you're saying I can't win?”
Jordan looked away, clearly rethinking his words through. He sighed, shook his head and looked back up at Jimmy with slightly pleading eyes. “All I'm saying is it wouldn't hurt to wait. At least until tomorrow, when we can see exactly what's going on. Listen, you want revenge, I get it. But can't you just leave it until we know for sure that he's... sober?”
Jimmy rolled his eyes, silently turning back to the two dark silhouettes at the top of the hill, still keeping himself ducked down by the front of his motorbike. “He's sober” He muttered quietly. “I can tell. Charlie wouldn't be with him if he wasn't.”
Jordan's dark eyebrows drew together. “What makes you so sure?”
“Because I know her,” Jimmy answered simply. “She wouldn't go near a guy as insane as him if she knew he was going to hurt her.”
Jordan nodded, but there was a slight spark in Jimmy's voice that made him doubt even his words. Confidence. But perhaps, too much? He was used to Jimmy speaking and acting overly confident, but when he began to doubt himself he made sure he sounded extra confident so others wouldn't doubt him. But Jordan could read him like a book. Still, he remained silent, and watched as Charlie's small, dark figure brought her attention to the light that shone blindingly down the road, just skimming the tops of their heads.
“Stay down.” Jimmy ordered, his gaze fixed on his target. You won't get away from me this time, you mop-headed freak. I won't let you. You owe me an explanation, and I won't let you leave until I get it. I'll make you talk. Just you watch me...


I tilted the front of the bike so I had a full view of the road ahead, and a shadowy object in the distance caught my eye. I squinted, adjusting the lights to their brightest, and peered down into Antonio's car park. It was then I noticed the other motorbike hidden just around the back of Antonio's van. For a moment I stared, trying to put the pieces together. Surely Alfredo didn't own it, since he had ridden in the van with me on the way to the cottage. It couldn't have been Antonio's. Which meant only one thing.
I gasped, my whole 'guilt trip' act vanishing from my expression. “K-Kougu?” I wasn't sure whether I was stuttering from the cold or something else. Either way, it wasn't good. “We're not alone.” I said simply and nodded towards the bike down the road. He would hopefully catch on, and know what I meant without explanation.
My mind raced. What now? What were we meant to do? Why couldn't he just leave us alone? Just let me be for just one day? If I didn't try to stop him there was bound to be a bloodbath.
All because of me.
Oh Jimmy...

((Sorry, Dreameh. That's really all I can say. Haha! It's short, and not very good, but for one thing I didn't want to put in too much before I saw where your twist was going, and for another... I'm EXHAUSTED! D: I've been wanting to post for days, but as soon as I get home, all I want to do is lie in bed watching How I Met Your Mother and pretend to sleep. o_0 I've hardly been able to type anything! I'm just like... *Dies* But anyway, it's done now. Hope you can work with it.))

Kougu watched Charlie with a frown, considering what she had said: “And what makes you think I can drive?”
Now he was left wondering, what exactly did she mean by that? Come to think of it – what had made him think she could drive? He supposed he had just assumed, but now she mentioned it, what had been the cause of that assumption? Was it because most of the people he knew could drive? Unlikely – he didn’t know enough people well enough for that sort of logic to apply. So then – what? The truth was, he had assumed she could drive, because it would be inconvenient if she could not. He had no plan, aside from this, therefore it had to work. He failed to comprehend the prospect of failure, therefore everything had to work out, no matter what.
As such: Charlie could drive, no matter what she said.
Kougu was about to explain this simple answer to her question – which of course he failed to see as rhetorical – when Charlie began speaking again, and he resumed his silence.
“Okay, but if I fall and break something, I'm blaming you.” She spoke with a smile, but Kougu’s frown only deepened. What was she saying, all of a sudden…? Of course, if she was to fall and hurt herself, he would take the blame right away, since it had been he who suggested she drive the bike in the first place – but what other solution was there? He was glad that she had come around to his way of thinking, and that she could now understand how things were always his fault. But at the same time, some small part of him wondered exactly what had changed that made Charlie suddenly want to blame him for everything, when before she had more-or-less refused to blame him at all. It had bothered him at the time, but now that it was gone he had to admit that he almost missed it. It had made a nice change, not being the bad guy for once… Not having all blame thrown onto his shoulders. Escaping from all that had revived him, but it seemed his time for suffering was now resuming.
He would not be the one who allowed any harm to befall Charlie when he could have prevented it. Never, ever again. He would have to rethink this… But there was no other plan! This was ridiculous. He was only human – he couldn’t do the impossible! The only way this could possibly work was if he spent the night inventing a device that could teleport himself and Charlie through space and time. Then he could erase the time they had spent waiting for him to complete it, and reappear back home as though nothing at all had happened since they left that morning.
He had to admit, this plan did appeal to him somewhat – possibly because of the temptation of going back in time to undo the many sins he had committed… But as usual, the cold, hard claw of reality crushed his dreams with logic: Time and space were not physical properties. They could not be altered or meddled with in any way… It was impossible. Naught but a far fetched fantasy.

So that plan was a no-go. Right, on to the next one… Kougu glanced around – eyes trailing over Charlie, and the bike, and the road… It was certainly hard enough to break bones. Well, he supposed he could just drive, and have Charlie sit behind him…? But that was far more risky, far, far, far more risky! And even if it wasn’t, he decided it should be, because the very idea of being so close to Charlie for the entire period of the drive sickened him to the point that cold sweat beaded on his forehead, leaving him feeling shaky and feverish.
No… No, that could never work.
Completely stuck for ideas, (Just like poor old Polo. ) Kougu glanced back at Charlie, and blinked in earnest surprise to find that she was still speaking, but that he had not been paying her any attention whatsoever.
“Because, ya know, the last time I rode a bike on my own without stabilisers I fell off. And I'll only be going at thirty miles an hour. But of course, it's your call. Just because you want to walk, to save yourself. That's fine with me.”
Kougu felt his shoulders slump slightly as Charlie finished speaking, and he failed to completely hide the bewilderment in his gaze, despite his best efforts. Unless he was much mistaken… She had just said that whatever happened next was ‘his call’, but that she thought his decision was a bad one. One that could hurt her – which she and he both knew was the very last thing he wanted. And as if that wasn’t bad enough… Now he was saving himself?! So once again, he was being selfish – just great. And he had been trying so hard, too…
Yes, Kougu was hurt. He couldn’t deny it: Charlie’s words had stung, and now he was left wondering what on earth he had done wrong to bring about this sudden change in her behaviour. One moment, everything had been fine. Now he was the selfish scapegoat who was sending her to certain injury through his apparent lack of judgement.
Yup, that summed up Charlie’s words pretty well. It didn’t soften the blow any, either. Nor did it help him to work out what she wanted from him, or what he had done wrong. Perhaps it would be best just to ask outright…? Yes, he would do that.
So Kougu looked over at Charlie with uncertainty in his dark gaze – intending to speak the questions that now haunted his mind. But once again, silence prevailed. For the first time, Kougu took note of Charlie’s expression: That innocent smile… It was not accusatory, nor aggressive, nor condescending…
And then, it finally hit him. She was not trying to hurt him, oh no – she was trying to guilt-trip him into complying with her wishes.
Now that made sense! Finally, he understood, and what a relief it was. He released a shaky sigh, chuckling softly to himself, then glanced at Charlie again, one corner of his mouth pulling toward a subtle smile. “Charlie…” He began, chuckling faintly and smiling wearily at her. “For the record, guilt-trips don’t work on me. I mean, sure, you could send me into a shame spiral, but it wouldn’t change the fact that I can’t pick up hints. So tell me – what exactly is it that you want me to do?”
He finished with a smile, watching Charlie with fondness in his eyes. Now that he understood the reason for her words, he considered the whole speech to be somewhat endearing. He couldn’t fully comprehend why… Perhaps simply because it was so… ‘Charlie’. (Wooop, both our characters are adjectives now! )
He sought to meet her gaze, only to find that she was not looking at him at all – for her attention was occupied elsewhere. She stared down the bright beams cast by the headlights like a cat staring into a mousehole, and when she finally turned back to him, there was a stutter to her voice that, after a moment’s consideration, he declared to be the fault of nervousness. ”We’re not alone…”
He ran over her words in his mind, his eyes lingering on the bike up ahead. Within a heartbeat, his mind had set to work: Summing up all the possibilities of who might be waiting for them here, and it did not take him long to reach the most probable candidate: Jimmy. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Kougu had been wondering where Jimmy had vanished to… That man owed him a bullet, after all. It would hurt when he received it… But that was the part he was looking forward to the most. That, and the scent and taste of his own blood as it slowly drowned him. The feeling of his body gradually shutting down and offering itself for the maggots and ravens to feast-
Okay, whoa, tempting as these thoughts were, he could not give in to temptation now. He had to reason to die… Not now that he wanted to live. The only thing that drew him to death was the simple fact that it had been a lifelong dream. For a moment, this struck him as a little sad… Other boys wanted to be astronauts, or firemen. He, Kougu, had wanted to be dead.
Yes… He was just a little pathetic, after all.

But Kougu forced these thoughts aside, and returned his attention to Charlie. “It’s probably Jimmy.” He informed her quietly. Yes, he informed her, for this was fact. He did not ‘think’ or ‘guess’ that it was probably Jimmy. He knew that of all the people it could possibly be, Jimmy Macintosh held the highest probability. Hence, ‘probably Jimmy’.
“I would guess that he’s probably waiting to jump out and ambush me or something… That just doesn’t like me much.” Kougu mused thoughtfully, frowning as he considered why this might be, then shrugging it off as he decided it did not matter. “I’ll go see what he wants. You can head back, if you like. I’ll meet you there. Or if you think it safer, you can wait and walk back with me – but you’ll freeze. Your call.” He smiled faintly, and flashed a playful wink as he repeated her own words from before. Then he turned away, and set off down the street – walking purposefully forward, completely without his usual dreamy expression. His left hand hung limp at his side, and still blood dripped from his fingertips, but as always Kougu didn’t seem to care. Nor did he seem to notice that the blood loss was slowly beginning to take its toll on him – gradually gnawing away at his strength with every step he took.

((You have no idea how glad I was to see your name by the RP when I logged on. I don't care if it's short (for you, anyway. For me it's awesome, no matter what the quantity ) I've had no replies for any or my RPs since saturday... The horror! Thanks you Polo, you've not interrupted anything, don't worry. To be honest, I don't know yet exactly how it's going to go But I will get it typed, but I'll make sure to give you a day or two to rest, since I saw what you put on PB, I personally don't know how you're still alive, never mind awake Hope you feel better soon ^_^))

[[Oh dear, this day's been a bit of a roller-coaster for them, hasn't it ]]

My mind raced as the possibilities of all the outcomes flashed inside my brain. What was Jimmy going to do? Or, even better question: what would Kougu do? He definitely hadn't snapped since we were inside the bar, but when it came to it, every second counted. Anytime Kougu could snap, and I could hardly say it didn't mater if he did or not. Who knew what would be going through his head? If it was anything like earlier, it wouldn't just be death he'd be planning. It would be the screams, the noises the victims made, and – what had he said earlier – something about a 'feast'?
Cannibalism!
Now, that was worse than killing. I wasn't too sure about him, but I couldn't think of many things much more gruesome than...that. And then there was something about forcing me to eat the victim...
I shuddered involuntarily, trying to push the horrific thought from my head. He seemed pretty calm for now, and I would try and make sure he staid that way.
“It's probably Jimmy,” Kougu exclaimed, as if he had read my previous thoughts and spoken them out-loud. So far he had been able to keep his composed state without much of an effort. Still, I knew Jimym could get under his skin if he didn't keep himself, and when it came down to it, Jimmy could be extremely pushy and mouthy with anyone who he felt threatened by.
Kougu was definitely one of those people.
Oh God... This wasn't going to go well.

“ I would guess that he’s probably waiting to jump out and ambush me or something… That just doesn’t like me much.” Kougu's calm, thoughtful voice made it's way into my head and I looked up at him, almost surprised to see how oddly civil he was being, despite the situation. What was wrong with him? Wasn't he worried about snapping? Wasn't he worried about being hurt?
Wait a minute... This was Kougu.
Of course he wasn't worried about being hurt. When was he ever?
“I’ll go see what he wants.” He added lightly, and before I could say anything in disagreement, he continued. “You can head back, if you like. I’ll meet you there. Or if you think it safer, you can wait and walk back with me – but you’ll freeze. Your call.” I noticed the playful wink after he spoke, and for a single moment I felt a wash of relief. Of course, he was fine. He wasn't worried at all. So why should I be? Kougu could handle Jimmy, he always did. Besides, there seemed to be only one bike, and I could only notice two heads from where the light from the motorbike had licked the darkness and revealed their small, ant-sized scalps. There was nothing to worry about... Was there?

Kougu turned his back and began to walk back down the road - not quite as dazed as usual, I noticed – and it was then that I noticed his hand hanging limply by his side. It looked unthinkably painful, yet he didn't even bother reacting. It was almost like he couldn't feel it at all.
Right, another thing to add to my To-Do list: get him to fix that damn wound, before he passed out again.
With that thought, I sat anxiously back on the bike and watched as his tall frame disappeared into the thick, black shadows. I didn't care what he had said, no way was I going to leave him in the hands of Jimmy Mackintosh in the state he was in.


“Come on,” Jimmy muttered to his friend at the sight of their target strolling down the hill towards them. He didn't look the slightest bit bothered either, even if he knew his attackers outnumbered him by two-to-one. Numbers... Jimmy had no idea where his confidence had come from, and he knew he was foolish to think numbers would make any difference to Kougu. Him of all people should have realised that by now. If he wanted to win this, he'd have to keep caution. Not provoke him, if he could help it. He'd have to hold his tongue. But still, he had to get the answers out of Charlie's new friend, and he wasn't going to leave until he got them. There were so many things Kougu hadn't told him, important things, things that he had to know. He was partially aware of how paranoid he was becoming, but he didn't care. Kougu unnerved him, and both sides knew that more than anything. For now, he was going to take his friend's advice and not attempt to pick a fight, since he knew neither one of them was in the mood for it. He just wanted answers.

Jimmy pulled himself to his feet and calmly brushed the mud and gravel from his jeans. Kougu was nearing him now, and he had not yet planned out what he was going to say. Oh well, he'd have to trust his instincts and improvise. It hadn't done him any harm before, had it?
Well, not that much harm, other than being threatened with his life, and knocked out without even a single blow...
He groaned frustratedly to himself, seemingly forgetting completely about Jordan behind him and stepped out to the opening of the car park. His finger tensed as he waved it stiffly at Kougu, almost accusingly, and he quickly planned out what he was going to say. “You...” He began, before deciding he'd wait until Kougu had reached him, just so he wouldn't make too much of a fool of himself by shouting when it wasn't necessary. “You owe me an explanation.” his gaze drifted momentarily to the feminine silhouette sat on the bike at the top of the hill. Charlie... His lover, the love of his life. She was one of the reasons he'd wanted to talk to Kougu in the first place: to find out exactly what had happened in the pub once he had been pretty much dragged out by the other of Antonio's Spanish hounds. Something had happened, otherwise he knew Charlie wouldn't have even gone anywhere near him now, and he would still have been in his 'insane' state. Something happened in there, and he was going to find out what it was.

He could feel his patience running from his system like water, and with a quiet grumble he stormed out of the car park and stopped Kougu in his tracks. “Before I was knocked out, on the street, you said something. You whispered it in my ear, I-...” Oh dear, perhaps he should have planned this before-hand... “I don't remember much from then, but you said something... something about Keichu, then something else...” His eyes scrunched closed for a moment, as he tried to recall what Kougu had said to him seconds before he blacked out.
Come on. Come on! What were the words?
Remember...
Remember, damn it!
Come. On...

I shook my head at the two, watching as Jimmy seemed to get more an more frustrated at something, perhaps something to do with me. What was I just sat here for? Jimmy didn't look like he was in the best of moods, and I could tell Kougu was still feeling tetchy since the bar incident. I just wished he's agreed to get on the bike with me and leave whilst he still could, although I knew Jimmy would probably have started to follow us anyway. Without thinking twice, I turned the thick, rubber handle of the bike until the engine began to growl rhythmically as I changed the gear and with a sudden jolt the vehicle set off down the hill. Woah... I placed my feet on the footrests and tried to force myself to calm down. I was driving, which was more than I thought I could do. But how was I supposed to stop? Oh God... Crap... Crap crap crap! I steered the bike into the car park at a fast speed, and if it hadn't been for Jordan leaping out beside me and shouting 'left hand break!' I probably would have crashed. Th e bike swerved sideways and the tires skidded across the gravel for a few meters until it finally stopped, and I felt safe enough to get off without hurting myself. I inhaled a large breath and swung my leg over, shakily making my way over to see what the commotion was about.
“Save a bullet for me.” Jimmy muttered, his face scrunched into a confused frown. “That's what you said, right before I blacked out. You said 'save a bullet for me'. What did you mean?”
My eyes darted towards Kougu, comprehension finally dawning on me. Ah, so that was why Kougu didn't hate Jimmy as much as Jimmy did with him. Because they'd got a deal going on. Anger began to simmer inside me, and I marched forward to the two, just in time to be stopped by Jordan, who quickly blocked me off with his tall, strong frame.
Frustrated, I tried my best to look over his shoulder, but unfortunately I saw nothing much more than Jimmy's back and a flash of Kougu's shoulder. I let out a low growl and stepped sideways, trying to dodge Jordan's grasp. He gently placed a hand on my shoulder, retraining me and forcing me to stay put. Defeated, I strained my ears to figure out what was being said.
Save a bullet for me.

Wait a minute...

“Save a bullet for me...” I echoed, shoving Jordan angrily away from me. “Save a bullet for me?” I shook my head. “You weren't going to commit suicide, were you? You were...” I closed my eyes, finding myself unable to say the words out loud. He was going to get Jimmy to kill him, therefore he wasn't technically breaking any promises. Still, I couldn't help but feel a stab of betrayal at the fact that he hadn't once told me what he had been planning for himself. Was this his way of fixing things? He was going to go kill his father, get Jimmy to kill him then leave me to mourn, forced back in the arms of Jimmy Mackintosh? How the hell could he think he was doing any good by throwing me back into the hands that had caused me so much pain before?
“You lied to me.” I muttered, almost unable to believe what was going on, and suddenly the world faded away, and it was only me and Kougu in the entire universe. But this wasn't like the loving way, oh no. I didn't feel love at that moment, I felt hurt. Pain. Betrayal. And after everything that had happened, I'd thought for a moment, just for a moment, that we were okay.
How stupid must I have been to think that, after everything that was to happen. My best friend and lover was going to die, once he had destroyed his own father. Not only that, but because his father was the only source to me getting my home back, the day I chose for him to give me the money, was to be the day I chose his death date.
What the hell had I got myself into?


“You didn't tell her?” Jimmy's voice was smug as he glared deeply into Kougu's dark eyes. He'd finally caught on to Charlie's hint, and had now figured out what Kougu wanted him to do. His face split and he let out a loud bark of laughter. “You want me to kill you! Ha!” He shook his head, his eyes sparkling and mad, almost the same look he'd seen from Kougu as soon as he'd snapped in the bar with Antonio. “Fantastic...” He spun round, his eyes darting to Charlie as he clenched his fist and drew it towards himself victoriously. He was going to kill Kougu. And he was allowed to do it in any way he pleased! “Oh, fantastic!” His voice had lowered to almost a dog-like growl, but the words were clearly audible. He wheeled back round to Kougu, his eyes wide in excitement. “You fool...” His head shook once more, and the words seemed to just make him laugh louder. He was almost as bad as Kougu! But what the hell, he didn't give a damn. Thoughts were already popping into his head. Kougu had save a bullet, but he was no longer in charge. Jimmy had far more bullets which he used for this very purpose. Oh yes, he had plenty of bullets worth using on Kougu. But where to start first? Oh! He would work from the bottom-up. Perhaps with the knee cap? He'd heard the noises men made when the bullet ripped through their bones and into their cartilage. Oh, their screams... And even better, it would be Kougu's screams! He never thought he'd live to see the day. To hear the agonising scream coming from those stupidly pale lips, to see the pain in those sickening black eyes. To watch his life slowly drain away from his enemy. And who would he have at his assistance?
Oh! he had an idea...
“And what makes you think I'm not going to make it last as long as possible?” He jerked his thumb to gesture behind him. “What makes you think I'm not going to make Charlie watch?” With that, he let out a final bark of laughter and turned away from Kougu, top stare into Charlie's tear-glistened eyes. The sight made him want to laugh again.
So Kougu had given him permission to kill him? Just like that?
The fool...

((This character and his odd form of logic never fail to surprise me! o_0 His thought-pattens change so often that I struggle to keep up with him! Haha! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this. I enjoyed typing it. ))


Kougu stood still and stared vaguely at Jimmy as the man approached him. He was quite content to let Jimmy waste energy walking toward him, since he was already rather tired, and he didn’t see much point in tiring himself more.
In fact, he was exhausted… Perhaps he should just suggest that Jimmy saved this discussion for another time, when he was feeling fresh enough to hold his concentration – which at that moment was dwindling.
After all that had happened, he had thought that he and Charlie might finally have some peace… But who was he kidding? This was his life now, and there was no escaping it. The only comfort he could possibly take was in the fact that his life now was so much better than the one he had left behind. He was sore, he was tired, and he was bleeding – but when he was done with whatever little showdown Jimmy had in mind for him – Charlie would be waiting. Not an empty house full of painful memories, but Charlie – alive and real. Somebody who actually cared… Who gave his pointless life some worth.
It was such a small difference between the past and the present, yet the effect that it had was astronomical. Suddenly, life was not something to throw away without a second thought… Now, there was happiness to put into the equation. Well, perhaps more ‘contentment’, than actual happiness. With Charlie, he was content, and life was bearable. It was no fairy tale, but given sufficient motivation, he could tolerate it. As such – he could no longer throw it away on a whim. He would have to be careful…

Where was he, again? In light of this new decision, he supposed his ‘carefulness’ ought to start with remembering that.
So Kougu blinked his dark eyes rapidly, and gradually brought the street back into focus – instantly feeling the icy fangs of the wind sinking into his chilled flesh.
And before him… Before him stood Jimmy Mackintosh – a man who he knew for a fact wanted him dead. Jimmy was talking, too, but of course Kougu had not listened to a word. He had been too busy planning his future carefulness. Although, he supposed that paying attention to his would-be-murderer was probably somewhat important to that cause. Kougu yawned tiredly, then refocused his attention, finally listening to what Jimmy was saying, and making sure he was alert enough to hold his own if a fight suddenly broke out.
Only Jimmy was not suggesting a fight… At least, not yet.

“Save a bullet for me.”
These were the first of Jimmy’s words that Kougu truly heard, and this made him frown in slight confusion. Those weren’t Jimmy’s words… Well, perhaps they were, but he had said them first. Jimmy knew that! He had been there, after all. He had been the receiver of those words, so why on earth would he steal them now? It had already been agreed that Jimmy would save a bullet for him, right? It couldn’t be the other way around… That wasn’t fair. Jimmy had a whole gang to blow his brains out! He could ask one of them instea-
Wait, how on earth was any of this important?! He didn’t even want to die any more, so who cared about whether or not it was fair that Jimmy was stealing his idea. Honestly, he was sounding more and more like a kid by the minute…
He was tired…
He wanted to go home.
This was boring.
Resisting the urge to roll his eyes only with a Herculean effort, Kougu fixed a pleasant smile on his face and listened with forced patience as Jimmy went on.
“That's what you said, right before I blacked out. You said 'save a bullet for me'. What did you mean?”
Ah! Finally, things made sense. Jimmy wasn’t stealing his words – he was repeating them! And thankfully, that question made sense to Kougu. In fact, he had a ready answer. He hadn’t thought he would need to explain something so obvious, though. Jimmy really was a slow one…
“Well, you see-“ Kougu began, his tone much like that of a kindergarten teacher. Only he never got to give Jimmy his explanation, for at that moment, Charlie cut him off.
“Save a bullet for me...”
She repeated those same words, and the sudden sound of her voice made Kougu jump. He hadn’t noticed her arrival, and now that he had, he stared wide-eyed at her, like a deer caught in headlights – which was indeed how he felt.
He had forgotten to tell Charlie about this…
Ah, shoot! Of all the things he could have forgotten, this-?
“Charlie-“ He attempted to interject, but she talked over him – her voice rising as anger entered her tone. Kougu quailed under her scolding – flinching away from the harshness of her tone.
“You weren't going to commit suicide, were you? You were...”
She trailed off into silence, and Kougu gulped nervously – watching her with trepidation. Just when he’d finally decided that she was done, and he was safe to speak, she met his eye, and muttered four of the most unbearable words in the English language. A combination of words Kougu had never before faced in his life… For he had never been able to be anything but honest.
“You lied to me.”
His eyes widened, and he shoot his head rapidly – objecting instantly. “No… No, I didn’t! I-“
But his explanation was cut short as Jimmy’s voice drowned his out. Only Kougu refused to look at the man – he had eyes only for Charlie… Again, she was upset with him?! He hadn’t lied… He had just forgotten to mention it, that was all… It was a lie of omission at most, and that was not even a ‘lie’ by the true meaning of the word.
‘Lie: To speak untruthfully with intent to mislead or deceive.’
He had not spoken untruthfully. In fact, he had not spoken on the topic at all, that was the problem… But even so, he had never intended to mislead or deceive Charlie. His intentions had never been anything of the sort, so why would she just assume that he had lied to her… When he had never been anything but honest – from whence had this mistrust been born?
Had he not earned the right to be given the benefit of the doubt?!
Kougu frowned slightly, feeling a spark of indignation ignite amongst his guilt for upsetting Charlie yet again.
The truth was, he felt her accusation was uncalled for… And it stung that, once again, she had lashed out at him without giving him a chance to explain himself.
But he could not be angry with her… She was Charlie, for Pete’s sake!
So instead, Kougu wheeled on Jimmy, his gaze dark and menacing – suddenly meeting the man’s eyes directly, and with death-stare intensity, rather than the unfocused, dream-like gaze he had held a moment before.
His eyes narrowed, and he watched Jimmy with a strange combination of irritation and boredom as the boy excitedly chattered about the prospect of killing Kougu, and took joy in the fact that he had not told Charlie… And – most irritating of all – showed more faith in Kougu’s word than Charlie had.
He glared dully at Jimmy for a moment, then flicked his gaze to Charlie – his dark eyes unreadable as they met hers directly. She had hurt him. Yes, her words had managed to get under his skin, and now Kougu felt he had a point to prove. He would not stand for being called a liar! If there was one positive thing that could be left behind with his legacy, it would be his unwavering honesty.
Admittedly, he had prevaricated on occasion – but not once had he told an outright lie. He couldn’t!
“Charlie.” Kougu spoke suddenly, his voice dangerously soft – and holding that same emotionless tone that could drive a person crazy from suspense and curiosity, trying to work out what he was planning… He gave no hints.
“I don’t appreciate you questioning my honesty.” He informed her coldly, before finally tearing his gaze away from her, and looking back at the boy – since Jimmy was no longer a man in his eyes - standing before him. His eyes rested on Jimmy now, but his words were still directed to Charlie.
“Jimmy here trusts my word. If he doubted my honesty, he would certainly not be testing my patience at this moment, since I am certain he knows full well by now that doing so could bring about his demise.”
His eyes darted to Charlie’s again, and he held her gaze, a subtle challenge in the smirk lifting his lips.
“I think that Jimmy’s idea will prove useful, after all…I invite you – stay and watch. Witness my honesty. I promised to take a bullet – and take it I shall. Right here, right now. Perhaps you will remember this moment next time you choose to doubt me… Charlie.”

With that, he turned his back on her, and it was as though she no longer existed. Indeed, in his mind, she did not. He had shut his emotions away, and was acting exactly like the robot he had been trained to be. Like he was before he had met her…
“Jimmy!” He barked, his voice suddenly authoritative and harsh. “I asked you to save a bullet for me, yes, and so I will accept one bullet, right here, right now, with neither resistance nor retaliation. But…” Kougu fell silent a moment, allowing his words to sink in before he began listing his conditions. “I do so on my own terms. Firstly, I shall not die here tonight. Fire a lethal shot, and I shall evade it – partially, if not completely. Therefore I encourage you to choose your shot carefully… Since I daresay this opportunity may never arise for you again.
Also, do not be tempted by greed. I agreed to take a single bullet, and no more. Heed my warning – if you think that firing a storm of shots will bring me down, you will end up with metal embedded in your own flesh. For let me assure you… As fast as your finger can pull that trigger, I can twist that gun to face your own skull.”
He fell silent then, taking a step back, and bracing his feet against the ground, readying himself for the shot.
He would accept this bullet with dignity… For right now, he had a point to prove. He had to prove to Jimmy that his skill was simply too far out of the boy’s league… And that these squabbles they ceaselessly entered into were useless and pointless.
More importantly, he had to prove to Charlie that he was a man of his word. She could watch the bullet strike him… She could watch his blood spill. Maybe then, she would believe in him… He needed her to believe in him…

He wanted to stay alive. He wanted to get by, for her sake, but he couldn’t do it alone. If Charlie wasn’t going to support him through this, he didn’t think he would last. Already, he was faced with the temptation of a bullet darting toward him when he was upset enough that death was an appealing option. All that kept him strong enough to resist was his promise to Charlie that he would not die… At least, not just yet. If his promises meant nothing to her, then what would he have to fall back on when temptation arose like a phoenix from the ashes of his misery?
Somehow, he had to make her understand, and what was more dramatic than a gunshot? Guns were always associated with death – that was simply human nature. If Charlie couldn’t trust in him to keep his promises, he’d be dead inside. So what better metaphor to use?
Besides… With painful thoughts raging through his mind, he longed for the sensation of hot metal exploding through his skin, shattering bone, spattering blood… The glorious Heaven of physical pain to drag him from the Hell of emotion.
Yes, this was harsh… But Charlie would get over it. And him? Well… He would relish every moment of it.

Kougu let his gaze drift back to Charlie then, and the expression in his eyes softened slightly – showing a certain tenderness and affection, just for her. The faintest hint of a smile lifted one corner of Kougu’s mouth as he silently sent his thoughts winging to her.
This one’s for you…

Then he turned to Jimmy, and met his gaze hard – every muscle tense in preparation for the shot. “Do it, Jimmy.” Kougu ordered darkly, “I dare you.”
A challenging smirk curved his lips, and Kougu greedily awaited the promised bullet.
Bring it on…

((Okay, sorry it's not that great, and it took me rather a long time to get 'into it'. But hey, it's done. And it looks long, but it's only a bit over 2000. Although I kinda died near the end... *facepalm* ))

As Kougu's expression sank from panic to resentment at my accusations, I felt the distrust evaporate completely from my body. I knew, as soon as he looked at me, as soon as those frightening, ebony eyes locked onto mine, I felt a stab of alarm at what I may have just started.
He hates me...
Those words had been foolishly spoken, and once again I had jumped to conclusions before I knew all the facts. The timing was dreadful, and I had a blood-curdling feeling in the pit of my stomach that all this was going to end – with grisly consequences.
What have I done?
It was too soon... Far too soon to be pushing his boundaries after the whole incident in the pub with Antonio. His self-control was too delicate to be poking about with a stick, and no matter how angry I'd told myself I was with him, I had to put it all aside. At least, until he was much calmer.
I let out a low grumble. Why was jimmy here? Why now? Why, after everything that had happened,
why did he feel so damn threatened whenever Kougu was around? Why did he have to know the meaning behind every stupid little thing Kougu said to him?
“Charlie. I don't appreciate you questioning my honestly.” Kougu almost growled at me in a tone which made me want to flinch. I'd never heard him talk to me like that in his 'sober' state. Which meant that this time, all the anger and hatred... He meant it. All of it.
He hates me...
“Jimmy here trusts my word. If he doubted my honesty, he would certainly not be testing my patience at this moment, since I am certain he knows full well by now that doing so could bring about his demise.”
I pressed my lips together and I bit them shakily. What did that mean?
Then I remembered. Jimmy hadn't beaten him, once, whenever he tried to challenge. He lost. Every single time. But if that was so, why had he come back? Why did he want to push Kougu's boundaries even more? Was he mad? I noticed Kougu's gaze begin to grip onto me and felt myself gulp anxiously and quickly looked away from him. Whatever confidence I'd just had, that final look seemed to have snatched it all away. The look on Kougu's face was terrifying, yet what seemed to scare me even more was the fact that he was, in fact, completely sober. When he 'snapped' he would always be able to fight back eventually, and he would be completely back to his normal self. But when he was like this... Completely aware of what he was doing – to an extent, at least – there was no way in which to fight off his thoughts and make him see sense. Once again, I was helpless.
No change there, then.

I think that Jimmy’s idea will prove useful, after all…I invite you – stay and watch. Witness my honesty. I promised to take a bullet – and take it I shall. Right here, right now. Perhaps you will remember this moment next time you choose to doubt me… Charlie. The thick, slimy bitterness in Kougu's voice made my stomach churn, and it was all I could do to stop myself from curling my lip at the distasteful feeling in my mouth.
This was all my fault.
This was what I'd created.
This was going to end in blood-shed... All because of me.

But before I could stop him, Kougu turned his back on me, bringing his attention back to Jimmy. I looked down. It was no longer a gesture offering my protection. It was a gesture of ignorance. He'd blanked me out completely.
“Kougu... Hey!” My brow furrowed in simmering irritation, but he continued as if I'd never spoken. I resisted the temptation to grab his shoulder and force him to turn and face me. Trying to 'force' Kougu to do something even as small as that would prove ineffective to someone as skilled as he was. He;d probably end up grabbing my hand, twisting it and snapping it in two in the time space of a single second. Trying to get him to do something in this state would be completely pointless and I knew it.
“Jimmy!” The sharpness in his tone caused me to jump slightly, and I stepped round him in order to see exactly what was going on. “I asked you to save a bullet for me, yes, and so I will accept one bullet, right here, right now, with neither resistance nor retaliation. But... I do so on my own terms. Firstly, I shall not die here tonight. Fire a lethal shot, and I shall evade it – partially, if not completely. Therefore I encourage you to choose your shot carefully… Since I daresay this opportunity may never arise for you again. Also, do not be tempted by greed. I agreed to take a single bullet, and no more. Heed my warning – if you think that firing a storm of shots will bring me down, you will end up with metal embedded in your own flesh. For let me assure you… As fast as your finger can pull that trigger, I can twist that gun to face your own skull.”

My eyes widened. No! What was he doing? He was offering for Jimmy to shoot him? There and then?
Don't you dare...
But he was, and he was determined to prove a point. He was going to take a bullet to prove a point to me that he wasn't lying. Did he seriously think that I would stand by and watch him get shot without doing something?
This is all my fault...
well, not anymore. I was going to stop this whether either of them liked it or not.
I wouldn't stand by and watch my best friend take a bullet, whether it was for me or not. And if either one of them thought I would let hell break loose without making an effort to end it... Then they didn't know me.

It was then which I realised Kougu was looking back at me, the hard look in his eyes now softening slightly.
To be honest, I'd have preferred for him to look at me in boiling hatred. Because that look was just making me feel worse and worse about the situation. I forced my gaze to lock onto his and shook my head.
Don't you dare...

He then turned away from me and looked straight at Jimmy, almost smirking challengingly at his opponent. “Do it, jimmy. I dare you.”
My eyes darted to Jimmy, who seemed to be deciding whether Kougu was serious or not. His eyes flickered suspiciously from side-to-side, as if he was regarding the possibilities that Kougu was telling the truth, or whether he was going to dodge at the last minute. He must have decided that what had been said was true, since his lips tweaked a cruel smile and his hand – containing the gun - slowly arose from his side.
I didn't waste any time.
Before Jimmy had even the chance to think of pulling the trigger I sprang forward between them both and pressed a hand in front of each of them, as if in attempt to push them away with an invisible force. “Stop, both of you1” My gaze started at Kougu as I turned sideways on in order to be able to watch each of them without turning my back. My hands slowly dropped to my sides, but I hardened my gaze, trying to show then both that no matter how many times they pushed me away, I wasn't going to budge. I looked at his challenging expression, the tension in his body language. My head shook, and I turned to Jimmy, eying the tip of the gun as it sank away from my head. Jimmy's gaze was locked on Kougu, but I could see the smirk on his face begin to fade from his face. After a moment of silent glaring, he finally brought himself to look at me. “Charlie... Move.”
I shook my head stubbornly.
Jimmy rolled his eyes in frustration, letting a sharp sigh escape his lips. “This has nothing to do with you!” He snarled, slipping the gun into his back pocket. His head bowed, his eyes narrowed, and if we had been in any other situation I may have felt quite scared at the way he was looking at me.
But not this time.
Oh no, I had bigger things to worry about.
“It has everything to do with me.” I growled quietly, turning my back on him in just the same way Kougu had done to me. This way, I could concentrate on Kougu, and only Kougu.
I nearly had to squint to see the light in his dark eyes, as the moon had hidden behind the dark fuzz of the thick clouds which slowly rolled on across the black skies. His face was almost completely hidden within the mix of his thick, fluffy hair and his murky pupils. Anyone else would have thought he looked like some creepy ghoul, come to snatch someone's soul or something. At times, I admit, he definitely had the looks. But I knew him, and I knew he was sober. He wasn't going to hurt me...
Well, that's what I liked to tell myself, anyhow.

“Kougu...” My eyes flicked over his pale face, the bloodless lips, and it was then I remembered the kiss. Those lips which I'd kissed just minutes earlier seemed to now be forced in a stiff line, still waiting for some form of pain to hit his thin, frail body.
Oh how I wished to kiss those lips again, to feel his body close to mine, the softness of his lips pressed against mine. The freedom of being able to run my hands through his thick, black hair without having to worry about scaring him. I wanted that to happen again.
I wanted to kiss him again.
Once... Just once more.
If only for a second...
I needed reassurance that he really felt all those things he'd said about me. That he loved me, that he didn't want to lose me. I wanted that boy back.
But of course, when did I ever get what I wanted?

“Kougu... This has to stop.” I began calmly, letting my eyes sink to his torso, the baggy t-short that wafted lightly as the partially still air wafted gently through his clothes. I slowly brought up a hand, curled it lightly into a fist and rested it lightly over where I guessed his tummy muscles would be (sorry, but 'tummy' is such a cute word ). I didn't press on at all, but left my hand hovering over the fabric, my eyes fixed on the knuckles as they began to grow as cold as his skin was – although the difference wasn't all that great. His body was still tense, but I was unsure that was whether I'd touched him or not. I'd barely any idea of what I was doing, but I was so desperate to feel him once more I couldn't resist the temptation. I waited patiently for his body to calm, remaining completely silent, the only sound being my slow, steady breath. My body had somehow become numb to the cold, and I noticed my teeth had stopped chattering. For some reason, this had become rather handy.
My eyes looked back up at him with a mix of awe and apprehension. “All this... Proving yourself...
Taking a bullet... I'm not worth it. You have to get that into your head. I won't have you drawing your own blood for the sake of proving a point.” My fist drew away from his stomach, and I clenched it momentarily before letting it drop back down to my side. “I believe you, alright?” I asked quietly, looking him right in the eye. “I believe what you said about not lying. The point is, I know now. I know what you were both keeping from me. I'm fine with it.”
Well, that was a lie. I wasn't. But he didn't have to know that, yet.
“Why don't we just...” I shrugged. “Get out of here. You look tired.”
I ended with a faint smile, but was quickly caught off as Jimmy began to speak.
“No... Oh no. I ain't through with you yet. Neither of you.”
I rolled my eyes and turned my head towards him, my eyes narrowed. To be honest, I'd almost forgotten he was there.
“And why don't you just go home?” I hissed. “You've made your point. You've got what you came for. Isn't that enough? Aren't you happy?”
We glared at each other for a few painful moments, but Jimmy was the first to speak. “Jordan.” He muttered, and slowly began to back away towards the bikes. I watched him with a hard look, stood only a foot or so away from Kougu. Jimmy's steps were slow, although I took this as a clue that he didn't want to look like he was fleeing. He mounted the bike, and waited impatiently for Jordan to follow him.
Jordan silently stepped past me, muttering a quiet “I'll see you around,” Before following Jimmy to the bikes. He mounted.
“Good luck with getting home,” Jimmy shouted as his engine roared into gear. “It's nearly four miles away, and it's getting a bit chilly out here!” He added with a wink, yet his face showed not a single hint of humour. My face fell.
Four miles, and it was nearly midnight.
Walking in sub-zero temperatures in a t-shirt.
Great...

((GAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *Glomps* You've no idea how excited I was to see your post! XD And as usual, I LOVED it!))
((As promised, quick reply! And it's just under 2000 words... Feel free to time skip in your next post if you like. I was considering doing it... And almost did... But then I decided to wait just a little longer. XD ))

Kougu’s eyes locked on the dark mouth of the gun – its round, silver lips glinting in the moonlight. His eyes narrowed slightly, growing impatient as he awaited the bullet. He needed this! The pain, the blood… And the sweet release it brought. It was as though he could drain all the poison from his veins – the poison born from those troublesome emotions that relentlessly tormented his heart and mind.
He longed for the pain… For that one moment of blissful suffering in which he could block everything out!
His eyes widened slightly – a quality of madness entering his expression as his impatience grew. If Jimmy made him wait a second longer, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to take it any more! He feared he might grab the gun and the fire the shot himself… Thus truly breaking a promise he had made. That would hardly help the point he was trying to prove here…
So Kougu drew a deep breath, and calmed himself – regaining his composure. A faint smile lifted his pale lips as he saw Jimmy’s expression change, and his finger ready itself on the trigger. But just as the tension built, and his long-awaited haze of painful ecstasy was about to strike, The situation was snuffed out like a candle in the wind.
For it was at that moment that Charlie stepped in.

Kougu watched in horror as the girl he had come to love placed herself in the path of the gun – and as his heart leaped into his throat, he realized for the first time how stupid he had been. Charlie cared, too… Why could he never seem to get that through his head?! Sure, it was hard to believe that anybody could really care about somebody like him when he so despised himself… But Charlie had proved – fool that she was – that she did. Had he taken a moment to step back and think, he would have realized that… And, in turn, perhaps he’d have understood how painful it would be for her to watch him take a bullet, and enjoy it, because of something she had said. Of course she would not let him get away with this! Watching it must have been as painful to her as this moment was to him… To have that gun pointing at Charlie…
Kougu felt every muscle in his body tense in alert preparation, ready to jerk Charlie out of harm’s way at the slightest indication that Jimmy might shoot. But Jimmy had lowered his weapon… And that was when Kougu remembered: He loved Charlie, too…
What must it be like to be hated by the one you loved…? He could barely imagine it. Then again, his father-
Well, that didn’t matter now.

He glanced toward Jimmy, eyes sliding from the gun, up to his face, then back again. His expression showed no murderous intent – though it was no ray of sunshine, either. As such, Kougu was relieved when Jimmy finally slipped the gun into his back pocket – keeping Kougu’s worries at bay.
He relaxed, only slightly, and hung back to hear what Charlie had to say. It would be demeaning to yank her out of her dangerous position now, when it must have taken so much courage for her to get there… He could not protect her from everything, or he would end up trying to protect her from life itself, and knowing him, he would probably kill her in the process. He needed to put himself in her shoes… Develop a little empathy and understanding, perhaps? It would no doubt come in handy.

So that was what he did: He pictured the situation from Charlie’s point of view.
She had just discovered that he had been plotting to get himself killed the second her back was turned – leaving her alone in the world that they had learned to take on together. Of course, she would be upset… Since, no matter how much he struggled to believe it, Charlie did care about him – and having him one day vanish into the afterlife without so much as a backward glance would truly hurt her. Of course, she had been angry… She didn’t want him to leave her alone, and she would most certainly be upset to hear that he had been planning his own demise after he had sworn to her he would not kill himself. To her, what did it matter whether he pulled the trigger, or whether it was Jimmy’s dirty job? The end result would be the same for her, anyway… He would be dead.
But come on – she couldn’t really care, could she? What the hell did it matter if he was dead or alive, when all he did was cause trouble for her?
That was how he thought Charlie ought to see things… Yet here she stood, between him and the bullet he had promised to take, because she didn’t want to see him get hurt.

Finally, understanding bloomed.
As the magnitude of his new discovery hit him with full force, Kougu actually staggered back a step as though he had taken a physical blow. After all this time, he finally understood – and now his futile complaints about Charlie’s mistrust seemed completely in vain. What on earth did he have to protest over, after all she had done for him?! He was nothing but a manipulative, ungrateful child after all… Trying to get his way by making Charlie watch as he was shot?! What sort of cruel fiend was he that he would go to such lengths just to prove a point?!

Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, Mate.

As that troublesome voice in his head awoke yet again, it was all Kougu could do to keep from growling in frustration. It sure knew how to push his buttons…

Hey, don’t get all pissy on me, now! Daddy’s little boy…

It was only with a supreme effort that Kougu was able to resist the urge to scream in frustration and smash his head against the butt of Jimmy’s gun until he silenced it for good - but he managed – remaining perfectly still and calm despite his inner turmoil.
Now he thought on it, the voice was right. He was acting just like his father… Making somebody witness the shooting of a loved one for his own sadistic pleasure. Great Scott… What had he become?

Kougu jumped slightly as he heard Charlie softly speak his name – effectively jerking him out of his thoughts. He desperately wanted to apologize to her there and then, but he decided to let her speak first… Partially because Jimmy’s lingering presence irked him so – and partly because he believed it was the polite thing to do.
”Kougu… This has to stop.”
Kougu averted his gaze, feeling instantly guilty. He knew this had to stop… He knew he owed Charlie an apology… But even so, some small part of him longed desperately for that blissful sensation of the bullet striking his pale flesh, splintering his bones, letting pain consume his mind… For the challenge of taking such absolute torture without so much as a wince. It was nostalgic, in the way it made him remember the days of training with his father. In some sick, twisted way – he missed them.
Vaguely, Kougu became aware of the fact that Charlie was speaking again – but he missed what was being said, for at that moment, he felt her fisted hand softly touch his abdominal muscles. Barely touching him, bust just near enough to tickle his skin. He tensed instinctively, but as Charlie’s voice hummed on in his ears, he came to discover that he did not actually mind, and relaxed once more – letting her touch calm him, and slowly ridding himself of the desire to give in the pain’s sweet temptation.
His pale features relaxed, and he slowly began refocusing his attention so the drone of Charlie’s voice morphed into comprehensible speech.
”… Get out of here. You look tired.
Charlie smiled faintly, and though Kougu considered returning it, Jimmy’s presence stopped him. Showing weakness before his enemy was not allowed… He could still feel the lashings he had received as punishment for it in the past. The old scars tingled at the memory…
So – no smile, but instead he offered a brief nod, feeling slightly guilty that, all this time, he had not been paying attention to Charlie. This drifting off in thought was really a terrible habit…
Jimmy threw in his two cents’ worth then – and when Charlie swung around to give him a harsh tongue lashing, Kougu turned his head and raised a hand to his lips to hide the amused smirk playing there. He allowed himself a quiet snicker – dark eyes darting to Charlie’s irritable gaze, and watching Jimmy subtly quail beneath it. He couldn’t help but feel a rush of affection for his spunky friend – not to mention deep admiration for how she had handled Jimmy, who was now walking away looking like a sulky child who has been denied permission to enter a candy store.

When Jimmy and Jordan proceeded to take both of the bikes – Jimmy helpfully reminding Kougu of the distance and temperature they had to face – Kougu’s smirk vanished, and a deep frown replaced it – his eyebrows knitting together and his brow furrowing with worry. He would have to find a way out of this situation… It was his fault, after all! He could not allow Charlie to suffer on it…
Kougu’s teeth found his already ruined lip, and began gnawing on it out of habit as the weight of guilt slowly settled in his chest again.
This reminded him… He owed Charlie an apology.

Kougu cast one last glance down the road to ensure that Jimmy and Jordan were out of sight – then dropped to his knees, and bowed so low that his fringe brushed the stony ground.
“Gomennasai!” He gasped hurriedly, apologising earnestly and from the bottom of his heart.
It took him a moment to remember that Japanese gestures would mean nothing to Charlie – but when he finally did, he scrambled upright and rethought his apology – deciding on actions he thought Charlie would understand.
“I’m sorry!” He insisted – desperate for her to understand just how ‘sorry’ he truly was. Sure, he had been sorry a lot recently, but he never meant it any less…
Still, this had been a major mess-up on his part. Best take the apology all the way.
So Kougu stepped toward Charlie. He placed one pale hand on her head, then slid it down to wrap his arm around her shoulders, and pull her close to him. “You were right.” He murmured quietly. “I overreacted, and I was out of line… I’m sorry. Really.”
He bowed his head and closed his eyes – cautiously allowing himself to enjoy being close to Charlie for just a moment longer, before he released her and stepped back, eyes studying the ground.
“I messed up again…” He muttered, more to himself than to Charlie. “Got to get used to the fact that I don’t have to rely on violence to prove a point…” He chuckled softly to himself, then looked up at Charlie – raising only his eyes, whilst his head remained bowed. Slowly, one corner of his mouth lifted in a sheepish smile, his dark blue eyes tentatively pleading for her forgiveness.
(Imagine how cute that must look! XD *Wants a pet Kougu in a jar*)
“Friends?” He asked, tilting his head slightly to one side and flashing a goofy grin – holding his good hand out before him as though to seal a business deal.

((Has to be shared: Link Remind you of Kougu much? XD ))

{{OMW, it does! o.0 Okay, I'm not even going to ask how you found that XD I'v found some piano music for My Immortal! :') and I've got a scenario for the very distant future for Charlie, and it fits that song perfectly
Okay, I'm off to reply. Awesome post! as always }}

((Sorry it took so long. I will get used to quick replies... I will! *nodnod* ))

Stealing a final depressed glimpse at Jimmy as he and Jordan disappeared down the tarmac road, I reluctantly turned back to study Kougu. He, too was watching Jimmy and Jordan's shadows zoom off into the night, leaving nothing more than a bitter, metal tang of petrol fumes as their ghosts. I had actually been quite surprised that Jimmy hadn't been laughing at us, although he might as well have been. After that performance, it was clear to me that he didn't give a damn about my well-being, otherwise he would have left a bike for us to travel back on. Now, however, we were very much on our own. Like he'd said, home was nearly four miles away, and even in daylight it took around forty-five minutes to travel that far on foot. Now it was reaching below zero, it would probably take even longer, even with each other's company.
You're going to freeze...
No, shut up. We won't. People don't freeze unless they're in a snow storm.
Generally people in snow storms wear protective gear. You, on the other hand, have nothing other than a small pair of tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt.
Shut up! I'm, not going to freeze. I've got Kougu to-
To, what? Protect you? Oh yeah, okay. You believe that if you want, but I wouldn't count on it. Knives? Okay. Bullets? Maybe. But the one thing that boy can't protect you from is the weather.
I don't expect him to protect me from everything. I care about his well-being...
Well that's really sweet. But here's a Newsflash honey: 'Sweet' won't get you out of the cold, no matter how much you want to believe it.

I grumbled weakly, rubbing my goose-pimpled arms with a quiet shudder.

Is there another way of getting home?
Don't know.
But if I don't think of something quick we'll both catch our deaths.
Don't care.
Would you stop? Can't you just shut up and help me?
Don't count on it!
(*claps* Charlie just had a 'Kougu' moment! )

Rolling my eyes in irritation, I brought my attention back to Kougu, what was-
Wait, where had he gone?
My head swung round to study my surroundings, panic clawing viciously at my insides. Had he left me already? Had he felt that uncomfortable with me touching him that he felt he had to run away in order to keep me safe? Did he still hate me?
“Gomen nasai!” a hurried voice choked by my feet, causing me to jump. My eyes widened as I recognised the male crouched down by my feet, head bowed, long, thick hair trailing the cold gravel flooring. Aghast, I stared at him with wide eyes. What was he doing?
I mean, I'd guessed he was speaking in another language, and I can't remember how but the words sounded faintly familiar to me.
But what the hell was he doing?
I looked away from him, just to make sure no one was watching, and turned back to ask him myself. But to my deepest relief, he brought himself to his feet and seemed to rethink how he should handle the situation. After a brief moments thought, he started again.

“I'm sorry!” He asserted honestly, and the next thing I knew he was running a hand down my head, stroking my long hair down to my shoulders, gently pulling me closer.
I didn't fight him.
Instead, I exhaled quietly and rested my head on his chest, slipping my hands just below his armpits and opening out my palms onto his cold-ridden skin. I turned my head to the side, pressing my ear gently just below his collar bone and silently listened to the steady rhythm of his heart beating calmly beneath his thin t-shirt. Deedum... Deedum... Deedum... Deedum... The sound comforted me, as I was so grateful to be so close to him that his next few words didn't seem to bother me one bit.
“You were right. I overreacted, and I was out of line… I’m sorry. Really.”
I sighed a quiet laugh and shook my head, but I kept a hold of him for a moment longer, enjoying the feeling of his face hovering over my shoulder, the peaceful stance making us both feel we were frozen in time. How long had I waited to be able to do this?
Too long, that's for sure.
Now it was happening, I was going to cherish the moment while it lasted.

The seconds ticked away like centuries before Kougu finally let go, and the frigid breeze trickled slowly down at my stomach like a drop of ice-cold water. It was funny, I'd barely noticed our bodies warming up so quick. It was probably just one of those things...
“I messed up again...” Kougu kept his eyes cast downwards, like he was too anxious or ashamed to look at me. I arose a finger to gently ease his chin up to look at me, when he began to speak again. “Got to get used to the fact that I don’t have to rely on violence to prove a point…” He trailed off with a light chuckle, and I felt my lips tweak a slightly tickled smile. Yes, that was true. Hopefully, he would soon get the idea that he wouldn't need violence to prove anything, that with me around, as long as he was truthful and honest, I would always believe him.
Now all I had to do was persuade myself that.

As soon as I saw Kougu's expression change, as if we could read each other's thoughts, so did mine. His eyes were sparkling so angelically, I couldn't help but smile. It was the sort of look you saw from a little boy who was trying to persuade his mummy that he had been a good boy and deserved extra pocket money for the bother. The thought caused my smile to widen into a huge grin, and I had to bite my lip to hide a quiet giggle. It was the sort of face you simply couldn't say 'no' to.
He then tilted his head in puppy-like innocence, flashing me a goofy grin that caused me to burst despite my teeth digging desperately at my bottom lip. As if defeated, they released and I had to look away before I crumbled into fits of laughter. I didn't know whether this was because he looked so funny, or because he looked so adorable I couldn't hide the flock of frisky butterflies flapping away at my stomach. (It's the adorable one, naturally ) Kougu then held out his hand and spoke. One word was all it was, but it was that one word that immediately let me know I was forgiven, and that everything was okay between us.
“Friends?” He asked daintily.
I took his hand, still struggling to keep myself from giggling. My face was growing hot with colour, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't help but grin back at him. Shrugging helplessly, I nodded and shook his hand shakily. “Forever.” I managed, feeling myself calm just enough for him to take me seriously. I wrapped both my hands around his good hand in attempt to give it just a bit more warmth. But of course, due to my own stone-cold flesh, my gesture proved useless. Still smiling despite the cold, I released his hand completely and stepped past him towards the opening of the car park. “Come on,” I grinned. “We'd better get back before the sun rises. I don't know about you but I'd love to have a single good night's sleep for once.” I muttered with a quiet sigh, which quickly turned into a wide, cat-like yawn. God... I was tired.
Still, there was no point trying to put it off. The longer we waited, the longer we'd be out in the freezing cold. So I stuffed my hands in my pockets, stepped to one side of the road and slowly, but surely, began to make my way back home.

The journey was spent mostly in silence and the walk seemed to have trailed on for most of the night, but by the time we reached the 'Middletown = ¼ mile' sign, saying I wasn't glad to see that sign would have been an utmost lie. The sky was still dark, but the golden lights of the streets' lamp posts were clearly dotted not too far out down the road. My heart leapt. My feet were blistered, my skin was stone-cold, and I had felt my nose running constantly throughout the journey. But I was happy.
We were back.
Letting out yet another yawn – I'd been doing it for the entire trek back, and I could feel every heavy breath I took swallow up whatever little oxygen I had left – I turned to Kougu, gesturing to the small glow of lights further down the road. “I never thought I'd be so glad to see this tired, old place,” I said, noticing my words slurring slightly due to my exhaustion. I shuddered involuntarily – something else which I'd seemed to have done throughout the journey back – and wiped my nose with the back of my finger. “I hope you've got central heating in your house, because I feel like someone's just tied me up and shoved me in a freezer.” I sniffed, too tired to smile, to laugh or even to walk properly. Now my pace was not much more than a sleepy stagger that I'd seen my mother do back when she'd come back from sleeping in a hotel room sometimes.
Which reminded me, I'd seen her walk like that a lot recently, and not necessarily when she'd been drinking... (*hinthint*)

Snapping out of my long trail of thought, I rubbed my dry, tired face and stopped by a large, freshly painted, black lamp post. Gasping, I rested back onto it and yawned again. Get up... Get up! Goddamn it! What're you doing? You're nearly home!
I'm tired...
Diddums...
Groaning tiredly, I wrapped both hands around the post behind me and flt myself begin to slide. Downwards. I'd lost the fight to stand up. I was tired.
So tired...

{Lol, bless her. She's such a drama queen )

((Naaaw, gotta love her.
No worries, mine also took long enough... :3 ))


Kougu walked alongside Charlie in companionable silence, letting his mind wander vaguely. He didn’t mind the cold so much… He supposed he was used to it in a way, since he always felt cold – though he knew most of it was actually in his head. He simply failed to comprehend the prospect of any good in the world – warmth included. He examined the blue tint to his fingernails with vague interest, tilting slightly from one side to the other and watching the soft gleam of the moonlight slide over their semi-reflective surfaces. This kept him occupied for a short while, until he tripped over a loose stone in his path, which reminded him to concentrate on where he was putting his feet. He did so, for all of five seconds. Then his attention had wandered again, and he found himself watching Charlie. She certainly seemed cold… Too cold.
He frowned slightly, worrying about her, and quickened his pace a little. Thank goodness they were almost back… Not that it helped much. That draughty old house was unlikely to provide much warmth.
His dark eyes lingered on Charlie’s hunched figure as they battled their way through the final mile of cold, finally reaching that familiar old signpost that meant home was near.
“I never thought I'd be so glad to see this tired, old place,”
Charlie’s words could not have spoken his thoughts better, so Kougu merely offered a nod of agreement and chuckled slightly. He hated that old house, but boy was he pleased to see that familiar pointed roof in the distance. It meant, at least, that Charlie would be safe from the elements. And even he was beginning to get fed up with the awful biting chill in the air.
“I hope you've got central heating in your house, because I feel like someone's just tied me up and shoved me in a freezer.”
Kougu frowned slightly at these next words, his worries about Charlie returning. She really did look cold… And he couldn’t help but think that this was mostly his fault. She’d better be okay…
“I daresay I do.” Kougu replied quietly, “That cursed place ought to have all the bells and whistles…” He chuckled bitterly, then turned to Charlie with a faint smile – only to find her leaning back against a lamppost. It stood tall, dark and elegant on the sidewalk – casting a golden halo of light over Charlie’s head. She looked so tired… Kougu felt the smile slide from his face instantly, replaced by a concerned frown. He stepped over to her, just as she began to slide down the lamppost to the ground.
Poor thing… She was so tired.
The faintest of smiles lifted Kougu’s pale lips as he looked fondly at his friend. She seemed almost angelic sitting there, half-asleep, in that circle of golden light.

“Come along.” He murmured softly, crouching down beside her and gently prising her cold fingers from the freezing surface of the lamppost. “We’re almost there.” He encouraged reassuringly, carefully guiding her arm over his shoulders, then straightening slowly and lifting her to her feet. With one arm around her, he supported most of her weight throughout the rest of the journey – walking slowly and carefully.
It didn’t take long to reach the house, and finally Kougu found himself dragging Charlie up those final little steps to the front door.
He struggled for a while, juggling Charlie and the key (Which he had actually managed to find, for once!) and attempting to unlock the door. Finally, he managed to get the key into the lock and spin it round. But by that time, his patience was running short, so Kougu simply kicked the door open and limped inside, grumbling quietly to himself about the painful shocks now running up his leg. That had not been his smartest move…
But he shrugged it off, and dragged Charlie over to his bedroom. It was dark and dingy, and still had that dusty smell – as though it had gone undisturbed for years. It hadn’t, of course, but it had seldom been used.
Yawning widely, he scooped Charlie gently into his arms, then deposited her hurriedly on the bed.
He stepped back, shuddering slightly and rolling his shoulders as though he could shake off the feeling of her body heat that still lingered on his skin. He still couldn’t quite get his head around accepting physical contact for too long… Yet it seemed with Charlie, he was often forced to. But at least he didn’t have to worry so much about suddenly launching an attack on her… She had learned to deal with him, and he had become stronger. He was relatively certain that he could prevent himself from harming her…

Shrugging off his dismal thoughts, Kougu stalked over to the cupboard in his room and tugged the door open. He rummaged through it until he found a thick feather duvet. He took it out and shook the dust from it. There was rather a lot, and as it floated into the air around him, Kougu sneezed, then waited for the dust to settle before throwing the duvet over Charlie. It was thick and heavy, and Kougu was relatively certain that she would be warm enough.
He watched her a moment. She was either asleep, half-asleep, or pretending to be asleep. Either way, her pretty little face seemed so peaceful… A faint smile curved his lips, and for a while he simply stood beside the bed, watching her. ((Creepy much? XD))
The day’s events had been extremely stressful for both of them… They had faced some terrible situations, and suffered some intense heartache. It had certainly been a long day… ((How many months long was this day again? )) But when he thought about it – not only bad had come of it. In fact, more good had come from this twisted, traumatic day than any other he could remember for a long, long while.
Indeed, for the first time since he could remember… Life was not a burden. For what felt like the first time, he did not wish tomorrow would not come. And the reason? Well, the reason was simple: She was lying in the bed right at that moment, apparently fast asleep. She had taught him to see the good in the world once again, and recapture that spark of happiness that he had lost over the years. He had honestly forgotten how it felt until Charlie came along…
Yes, Charlie had done so much for him. She had changed his view on the world completely, taught him to understand humanity, and even offered him the sort of friendship he had thought he would never experience.
That was why, despite all the bad things that had happened that day, only one main thought circulated Kougu’s mind: That kiss… And although the thought of it still frightened him, he recognised it as a moment he could appreciate for all eternity.
Yes, despite all the trauma and hardship, Kougu had discovered one other thing that day: He truly did love Charlie. He had spent so long trying to deny it, trying to convince himself otherwise, that now he had embraced it – it left him wondering why he’d ever bothered. He felt better, now. He was glad of it… He should have just accepted it all along.

His dark eyes scanned Charlie’s sleeping figure, drifting from the soft, golden-brown sheen of her knotted hair to the pale, chilled skin of her face – to which the colour had begun returning in blotches as the heat of the room warmed both her and Kougu. Or rather, ‘defrosted’ them. That was certainly how it felt.
He smiled slightly at this though – fondly remembering Charlie’s comment of being thrown into a freezer. He didn’t want to… But he supposed he ought to leave her in peace now.
He watched her a moment, fidgeting slightly as he struggled to make a decision suddenly weighing on his mind. His eyes lingered on her lips a moment, then he shuddered slightly and glanced away, banishing the idea of a kiss goodnight. He was not made for such things… The very idea of actually deciding to kiss Charlie, even so innocently, made him feel shaky and nauseous.
So he brushed it aside, and instead, ran his fingers lightly over her soft brown hair. “Sweet dreams, Charlie.” He murmured quietly, and with that he turned to leave, shutting the door quietly behind him to trap in the heat.
He stared down at his fingertips a while, remembering the feeling of Chairle’s silky hair sliding over his skin. He couldn’t help but wonder how it was that he had got to this place… For him, of all people, to fall in love… It was nearly incomprehensible. But he supposed it was inevitable, really… When everybody he’d ever known had shown him nothing but suffering, it was only natural that his heart should melt at the first kindness he received. Like a stray dog thrown a scrap of meat…
Smiling slightly at the comparison, Kougu began wandering sleepily around the house, as was his wont when night fell. He would not sleep, since the relentless nightmares were sure to torment him… So he simply stayed awake until he could no longer. He had slept quite recently though, so he would probably be all right for a while yet.

Kougu’s eyes drifted to the heavily locked room beside the front door as he entered the hallway, and he stared at it for a moment – that distant, haunted look that he had nearly lost suddenly returning to his eyes. He shuddered, then hurried away from the gruesome sight his mind’s eye depicted. His flight soon led him to the living room, where he found Cathy (Or Catherine, as she called herself) asleep on the couch, with the TV still blaring in the background.
The news reporter was speaking about the fire earlier that day… When Charlie’s house had burned down.
This reminded Kougu of his friend’s worrying plans to visit his father, and the thought sent him pacing once more – restlessly burning what little energy he had left.
What if she went to see him, and he turned Charlie against him, Kougu, with horrible stories of the past…? Kougu knew full well that his father sought to destroy every scrap of willpower he owned, and what better way than to break his heart?
On that topic… What if he decided that his best bet would be to kill Charlie?! Kougu didn’t think that he would – but his father was far from predictable…
No, he couldn’t let Charlie go to that man. It was too dangerous… Too risky. That man was sly and cunning as a fox, and slippery as a snake. He could trick just about anybody into doing just about anything… Kougu couldn’t let that man’s filthy tongue befoul Charlie’s mind. No… He would handle her situation himself. He would just have to convince her to let him help. That could prove tricky, but he had to do it! It was just a bit of financial support… He had no use for the money, after all, and he had more than enough of it… His father was the ‘behind the scenes’ leader of just about every big company, after all. Honestly – could nothing escape his filthy influence?

Grumbling to himself, Kougu began prowling the house again, and the hours of the night ticked slowly by. It was not long before morning came, though it felt like an eternity had passed in between.
When dawn finally graced the world with its presence, Kougu got up from where he had been sitting on the windowsill, fingers tapping impatiently at the glass.
It was officially morning now, so he could go out. He guessed that Charlie would not be awake for a while… But when she was, she would be hungry, and what few edible materials were lying around the barren old house would certainly not be very appetising.
So Kougu stepped briskly over to the front door, grabbed a hoodie from the coat stand, then stepped out into the chilly early morning air.
A faint haze of mist shrouded the earth, but Kougu found his vision to be – for the most part – unimpaired.
There was a small, obscure little shop half way down the street that Kougu generally used on the rare occasion he did need to replenish his stocks, and it was to there that he hurried – wallet in hand. He still did not like being outside… Where he endangered the lives of all those around him… But he figured he would have to get used to it. He couldn’t keep himself locked up forever, like a caged beast.
The thought brought a grim smile to his lips, and Kougu walked on into the slowly waking world with determination.

His little excursion went by smoothly, and Kougu returned home not long later. Judging by the height of the weak, watery sun climbing through the sky, he would say that it was around 8AM. Hopefully, Charlie would not be awake yet – else she would be wondering where he had wandered off to…
Shopping bag in hand, Kougu wrestled with the door handle for a while until he remembered how it worked, then he let himself in and walked to the kitchen, quietly unpacking the simple supplies he had bought into the cupboards and fridge.
This took him quite some time, since he had to find the perfect spot for everything, and make sure that every box was perfectly straight. If he didn’t, it would drive him crazy – quite literally.
He struggled for ages trying to decide whether the canned foods should be stacked alphabetically, or by colour. Eventually, he decided on alphabetically, and thus they stayed. Until, that is, he decided to stack them by order of expiry date instead. For a while he was pleased with this decision, but it didn’t look right, so he rearranged them by colour. Rethinking this decision almost immediately, Kougu reverted back to his original decision of alphabetical order, then forcefully shut the door so that he could not change his mind again.

(Okay, I've not quite beaten your 3 hour record, but I replied on the same day, at least! *squeals* and figured out how long the day was. I think it's mentioned somewhere in the post... )

The small remainder of the journey was spent shuffling, me with an arm over Kougu's shoulder, and Kougu supporting me in order to keep me upright. If I'd had the strength, I would have insisted that he let me walk on my own, but I barely even had the strength or the will-power to keep my eyes so much as half open. I tried to walk as best I could, as I knew if I relied on Kougu too much we both may end up crumpling to the ground due to the fact that he wouldn't be able to support the sum of my full body weight on his shoulders. We took our time walking and did so with good care, since my footing was so bad I we both knew I'd trip either Kougu or myself up within minutes if I was rushed. We reached the house in a matter of about fifteen minutes, though it seemed like centuries. Kougu struggled to find the key - although personally, I was surprised he even had it at all, not to mention the fact that he didn't walk into it for the first time in a long while. I took the time it took him to get through the difficult obstacle to try and force myself to stand on my own, upright, but my legs began to shake weakly. Pulling a face, I gripped Kougu's arm with one hand in order to keep myself on my feet and flinched at the dull 'thud' as Kougu's foot made contact of the door, and it swung open so fast it hit the left wall of the hallway, stopping it in it's path. I looked up at Kougu's face to make sure he was still 'sober', that his eyes still showed the small spark of emotion he tried so desperately hide every now and then, and as soon as I saw it I found my body relax slightly.
Of course, if I relaxed too much, I knew I'd fall asleep.
But you know what I mean.
His eyes revealed enough emotion to satisfy, and to reassure me that it was real emotion and not anything he was 'pretending'. He began to mumble frustratingly as we entered the house, and I noticed his slight limp as he walked down the hallway. I began to stir slightly as the door bounced back from the wall and slammed shut, aware that the noise would probably wake mum up. She wasn't exactly the most pleasant of people when she was woken up...
Shuddering slightly as images of the past flashed inside my head, I let Kougu guide me to his familiarly dusty bedroom, with the murky window and the harsh, yellow light bulb which seemed to lack a shade. It still remained a mystery as to why it looked so... Unused...

Suddenly, a hand slipped behind my knees, another holding me around the shoulder and I felt my feet slowly rise from the floor. I wrapped my arms around Kougu's neck, hoping to God that he wouldn't suddenly freak out and drop me, and quietly let him place me on the bed. I wasn't surprised when he stepped back, as he did look rather horrified that he'd done that. But I wasn't worried. With physical contact like that - not to mention the large amount he'd had during the course of a single day – he was bound to have got used to the feeling, or at least calmed down enough to trust himself more at being around me. Of course, it was only natural for him to be a slight bit aghast, but I knew him and I knew I could trust him to stay calm whenever he did something he wouldn't usually have done – like kissing me.
The memory made me smile.
Maybe I should have been shocked, or horrified at his actions back there, but inside, I was happy. The truth was, I'd suspiciously thinking I had feelings for him for just under a week, but I'd simply pushed the thoughts away.
Until I realised how much I was going to miss him.
Was that love? Because I'd felt love before, the first time I met Jimmy I thought I loved him. I did for a very long while.
Until he decided I needed 'correcting'...
But this was different. Very different. Perhaps we were just friends, but did other friends kiss each other or admit that they've fallen for one another?
Not really.

I let myself sink deeply into the thick, springy mattress and sat up against the front of the bed, hugging my knees. I didn't want to sleep yet... Not whilst Kougu was still awake and occupying himself. I wanted him to sleep. Just one night. If I really wanted to 'fix' him like I'd said, I'd have to start with the basics. Hygiene and basic survival were the keys to a healthy lifestyle, and since Kougu obviously had the money, he had no excuse to walk around, an (almost) walking skeleton and looking ill. This would mean I would have to monitor him, sit beside him to make sure he slept, - whether that meant on the bed, or a separate chair – cook his food and make him eat it, even if that meant shoving it down his throat. Literally.
Actually...
No, not quite literally.
He'd more than likely kill me first.
So engrossed within my intense train of thought, I hardly noticed a heavy weight press down by my feet as a thick, feather duvet was thrown towards me. I jumped. Where had that come from? The softness created a sudden temptation I was too tired to resist, and without thinking twice I pulled the warm – yet rather dusty – duvet over my shivering body. I clenched my fists tightly around the edges, enclosing myself within the warm halo that slowly began to warm up my body. Slowly, I began to slip into a lying position, ignoring the light squeaking noise coming from beneath as I moved downwards. My eyelids began to droop heavily, but I fought with the last ounce of my strength to keep them open for just a few moments longer. I began to blink perhaps a little more than usual, because I knew if I didn't my eyeballs would dry out, and I would be forced to close them anyway. But this proved useless, as this meant my vision was going rather blurred. I could sense he was watching me, and it took me a brief moment of debating that he wasn't waiting for me to say or do anything – like fall asleep – but that he was watching me... Just for the sake of it.
It felt weird, to be honest. I'd never been watched whilst I was sleeping before.
At least, I hoped not...

The floorboards creaked slightly as Kougu shifted in his spot, uncertain. I fluttered my eyelids slightly, still desperately trying to keep them open, and my eyebrows twitched together. What was he waiting for?
Then I remembered: I was supposed to be making him go to bed, too.
Oh dear... I was sounding far too much like a mother.
Still, if 'mothering' him was what it took to get him to live like a human, I would do it. If it made him healthy, and - most of all - happy, I would always do it for him.

I sensed the quiet ruffling as he leant down and ran his cold hand gently over my matted hair. Despite the iciness of his touch, the fact that he trusted himself much more than earlier relaxed me. I looked up at him tiredly, eyes flicking over his partially hidden face. “Aren't you going to sleep, too?” I whispered, but either he didn't hear me or he didn't want to answer.
“Sweet dreams, Charlie.” he muttered quietly, and for a short, brief moment I thought he was going to kiss my forehead. But instead, he straightened up and turned to leave.
“Of course not.” I answered my own question for him with a weak,.yet rather amused smile. “Goodnight, Kougu.”
He closed the door, the room went dark, and I was alone.

For the first time in a long... long time, I managed to drift off to sleep without fearing what the future would hold. Too much had happened that day ((which lasted 4 months and 6 days, exactly )), and I had nothing left to worry about. I trusted Kougu and I knew, after everything that had happened, that he wouldn't do anything behind my back without letting me know first. I had nothing , as of yet, to worry about.
Did I?

When I awoke, the sun was just on it's way towards it's peak, although it seemed to have a while off to go. My eyes fluttered open, immediately squinting at the brightness of the rays which peeked in through the gaps in the thick, blackout curtains. I sniffed, slowly daring myself to slip out an arm from my small cocoon of warmth and stretched it out in front of me.
What time was it?
I yawned tiredly, my eyes drifting lazily to the small, digital clock on the bedside table and squinted at the blurry, red numbers.
8:17
What a night. I'd have been lying if I'd said it was great, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been.
The imaged of dancing flames and Kougu's father continued to flash inside my head, the low, menacing laughter he gave when I'd realised he'd been playing me about like some counter in a board game. It was as if some presenter in a game show had rung a bell and shouted to the jeering audience 'Ding ding ding: We have a winner!' In fact...
It was almost the same laugh Kougu had when he 'snapped'!
Oh yes, there was definitely a resemblance, there. They were father and son, after all. But I wished they weren't. I wished his father was nothing more than an evil villain out to get us. That way, killing him would be as easy as pie. - metaphorically speaking, of course.
But it wasn't that simple, neither was anything else. Plus, I still had to seal the deal with that man before Kougu ripped him in two – quite literally.
But the problem was, did he know his son was going to kill him as soon as the deal was done? Would he still be going through with it if he did? Was he being truthful about the deal, at all?
Groaning to myself, I rolled over onto my other side and rubbed my dry face tiredly with my palm. I was thinking too much. Not a good idea first thing in a morning.
I yawned, shuffling up into a sitting position and stretched both arms above my head. After a moment's thought I decided I needed to check what Kougu had been up to whilst I'd been asleep, and slowly managed to pull myself to my feet and waddle tiredly through the living room to the kitchen, where Kougu was supposedly sorting out something in the cupboards. From the dark bags under his eyes I knew he'd been awake most – if not all – of the night. My expression softened at the intense concentration on his face and leant by the door, crossing my arms loosely over my chest. “Good morning.” I muttered, gazing at him curiously. What was he doing that was so important? My eyes narrowed in a slightly lazy fashion. “You didn't sleep at all, did you?” I asked flatly, yet my lips tweaked a slight smile. I wasn't too surprised, really. Whatever was keeping him from sleeping – and I doubted it was his room, however dusty it may be – I wasn't going to be able to fight it if he couldn't. My gaze flicked to his bloody, injured hand, and my brow furrowed suddenly. Had he still not had that sorted out? Oh dear... I had a feeling I was going to have to order him around rather a lot today. I pushed myself off my rest and took a step towards him, suddenly shivering at the change in temperature compared to his bedroom, and looked at him in a soft, forgiving expression. “Go on, go get your hand sorted. I'll make you some breakfast. D'you like eggs?” I looked around the almost empty kitchen, wondering where I was going to find anything, and scratched the back of my head awkwardly. “Although actually, better question... Erm... Have you got any?” I bit the side of my lip thoughtfully, looking around the surfaces on last time, before another thought came to me. “Err... Kougu?” I looked back up at him innocently. “This is going to sounds really bad, but I don't suppose... Could I borrow a few clothes? It's just...” I looked down at my tracksuits, upper lip curling in distaste. They were a bit of a mess...
Okay, that was an understatement. They were filthy. Covered in mud, ripped at the ends and not to mention the strong smell of body odour and... Well, me all over them. I needed a change, at least until they were clean. “I think there'll be so much of this,” I gestured to my clothes, “that you'll be able to take. That reminds me, I'll have a quick shower, if that's okay. I needed one a while ago...” I trailed off thoughtfully, wondering when the last time I had a proper, full-body wash I had. Four days? Five? No doubt it was more.
Honestly, I was surprised Kougu wasn't gagging by now.

((Wooop! Go Dreameh! XD Thank you for your speed. I'm afraid I won't have a chance to reply until tomorrow evening... But I'll try to get it done then.
Goodness me, we spent 4 months and 6 days on... One day. :3 We have skills...
And our characters stink. Go us! *Applauds* ))