Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)

((Haha! No worries, Polo. I'll somehow occupy myself until you come back on
*cheers* Yes, we're amazing XD Woot! ))

((I'm so tired that my brain just had a random spazz moment and made me get totally overexcited about seeing your name next to the RP, even though it's been there for about a day... And I'm actually typing my own reply as we speak. XD Wow, this old bowl of sludge is pathetic... I think it's about ready to throw in the towel. ))

((Ugh... Okay, I'm sorry, this is horrible and SHORT - but I just couldn't type any more... I slapped myself a good 7 times trying to stay awake - hard. But it still wasn't enough... *Dramatic sigh* ))

Kougu frowned and glared intensely at the closed door in front of him, willing himself not to open it. Everything was fine… It was neat, sorted and arranged alphabetically. Nothing needed to change. Yet still, his fingers twitched toward the handle, and his mind was haunted with the images it had conjured of boxes sitting skew, or cans with dents and blemishes. What horror… What utter horror!
He couldn’t take it any more! He would have to check.
So Kougu reached out for the handle, then caught himself at the last minute. If he opened that door, he would end up rearranging everything all over again, and that was not a good thing. These sorts of chores could last weeks for a perfectionist like himself. He honestly became so obsessed with making everything perfect that it soon became a full fledged addiction. That was why… He could not let himself open that cupboard door.

This mental war lasted quite a while – Kougu glaring at the door and fidgeting – able neither to open it nor to turn away. But then, finally, he was released from his inner conflict as a voice broke through his thoughts.
“Good Morning.”
Charlie’s words sounded loud and shocking in the silence of the morning – shocking Kougu out of his thoughts and causing him to jump in surprise.
He jerked around to look at her – tense for a moment, as though ready to defend himself – but as he saw that it was only Charlie, he relaxed – chuckling quietly at his own silliness.
Really, who else had he expected it to be? There was no need to be so jumpy.
“You startled me.” He murmured with a soft smile – finally straightening up and turning away from the cupboard.

Ha! Now all those boxes will be sitting skew, and the cans will be dented, and you won’t have done anything about it… Doesn’t that just irk you to no ends?!

Actually, I don’t care.

Really?!

Yes.

Wow… Congratulations.

Smirking smugly to himself at finally getting the better of that voice in his head, Kougu slowly approached Charlie. As she went on speaking, he leaned against the kitchen counter to listen – chin resting on his hands, and fingers tapping occasionally, simply because they refused to stay still for too long.
“You didn't sleep at all, did you?”, Charlie asked suddenly – and to Kougu, it seemed she was a tad displeased about this fact. So he did not answer. Instead, he dropped his gaze, then took to staring mindlessly at random objects around the room – avoiding Charlie’s gaze, and innocently pretending that he had not heard the question – yet his fingers began tapping faster from the thrill of deception.
Even if it was simply pretending not to have heard a question he actually had heard, Kougu was an awful liar. Absolutely dreadful.
So he stopped trying, and glanced up with an apologetic expression, meaning to make some excuse for his insomnia – though he didn’t fully see what he had done wrong, per say… But thankfully, there was no need, for at that moment Charlie’s expression softened slightly, and she changed the topic.
Understanding that he had her forgiveness, Kougu breathed a soft sigh of relief, and straightened up to listen.
“Go on, go get your hand sorted.”
He frowned slightly, trying to work out what Charlie was speaking about – since he had long since forgotten the injury on his hand.
As such, rediscovering it was quite a surprise. A surprisingly pleasant surprise, in fact.
Raising his left palm toward his face, Kougu admired the dark, gory hole in the centre, and marvelled at the way his fingers only twitched half-heartedly when he asked them to move.
“Huh!” He exclaimed softly, in a tone of pleased wonderment. “Well, would you look at that…”
Smiling slightly to himself, he flexed his fingers one last time, then glanced up at Charlie as she resumed speaking.
” I'll make you some breakfast. D'you like eggs?”
At this offer, the wonderment in Kougu’s expression intensified into amazement, and he stared blankly at Charlie. She was actually offering to make breakfast… And for him as well?
Kougu blinked in grateful disbelief, and – stunned into silence – nodded mutely to answer her. To him, this was a strangely special moment – but he supposed he ought not to make a big deal out of something so simple.
So he merely smiled gratefully, then quietly answered Charlie’s next question.
“I figured you might be hungry, so I went down to the store this morning. There should be eggs in the fridge.”
He gestured toward it, then turned back to Charlie, tilting his head slightly to one side in curiosity as he noted a faint awkwardness in her gestures, leading up to her next question:
“Err... Kougu? This is going to sounds really bad, but I don't suppose... Could I borrow a few clothes?”
Kougu couldn’t quite comprehend what part of this question was supposed to seem ‘bad’. Her clothes had kinda been incinerated. Of course, he wasn’t about to say that out loud, since Charlie hardly needed to be reminded… But either way, it was understandable that she would need to borrow some. He really should have offered before she had to ask, but as always, he was slow to think of the obvious things.
His mind quickly began generating a useless list of such ‘obvious things’, but thankfully Charlie spoke again – interrupting his futile thoughts and bringing his focus back to the present.
“I think there'll be so much of ‘this’ that you'll be able to take. That reminds me, I'll have a quick shower, if that's okay. I needed one a while ago...”
Kougu chuckled softly to himself, shaking his head fondly, then finally left the kitchen and walked over to Charlie.
“I’ll grab you some clothes, then you can have a shower, and I’ll sort this thing out.” He gestured to his ruined hand, flapping the limp thing for a source of amusement.
He smiled and ruffled her hair as he passed, then stalked off to rummage through the various cupboards in the house for something that would fit Charlie. It was tricky, especially since he didn’t exactly have any women’s clothing…
As he searched, Kougu called back to Charlie, his voice muffled slightly by the closet he was digging through.
“I’m afraid I don’t have much to offer you. We may need to go out and buy you some clothes later…”
He trailed off thoughtfully – finally reappearing with an armload of various items of clothing.
“Here you go.” He said, dumping the clothes in Charlie’s arms.
((I was about to type ‘dumping the load’, but then I realised how bad that sounded… XD So I sincerely apologise if there are any other ridiculous things like that in this post! Blame the dead brain, not the toilet humour! XD ))
“That’s about the best I can do…” He said apologetically, scratching his head slightly awkwardly. “Anyway, wear what you like. The shower’s over there,” He pointed to the bathroom down the hall, “And you can grab a towel from the cupboard next to it.” He pointed to indicate this as well, then offered a mild smile and set off to get his hand sorted out.

I inhaled deeply, readying myself for an excuse, a reason, or something along the lines of 'do I have to?' The reasons why raced around in my head, and I made a quick mental list of the pros, ready to make a strong argument as to why he should get his hand fixed.
“I’ll grab you some clothes, then you can have a shower, and I’ll sort this thing out.”
I shouldn't have been surprised, or really even that bothered. But the fact that Kougu was actually going to do something that I'd told him, especially something that would affect – or even better, improve – his own well-being stunned me. Had I really heard that right?
Wow, I'd not been expecting that.
In fact, I was getting ready to prepare myself for some form of resistance, or maybe even a lie. But instead, I got the opposite.
An honest answer.
He was actually going to go fix himself up?

Truth to his word, he passed me, ruffling my hair as he did so. I giggled, partly because of his playful gesture and partly because I was still surprised that he was actually going to do something to help himself. I stood, staring back at the kitchen for a moment. By the time I had turned around, he'd disappeared down the hallway to find some clothes.
He was out there for quite a while, the only sound in the house being the TV speakers blazing through the living room, and the faint muffling of clothes being thrown around. After a few moments, Kougu's voice was only just audible from within the noise of the full-volume TV speakers. “I’m afraid I don’t have much to offer you. We may need to go out and buy you some clothes later...”
I shook my head. “Don't worry about it. I'll wash my old clothes later after I've showered.” And after I'm sure you've stuck to your word about your hand, I thought secretly.
He reappeared after a few brief seconds, mountains of clothing scooped up in his arms. I raised my eyebrows. 'Not much to offer?' It looked there to be enough items of clothing to dress half a dozen people, never mind just me.
“Here you go.” he said innocently, dropping them all in my arms. I squatted slightly, trying to keep them all in my grip. Flippin' Heck...
“That’s about the best I can do…” He muttered, scratching his head awkwardly. I pulled a face, peering over the pile with a tired exhale, causing my cheeks to inflame momentarily. The best he could do?! There was more than enough, there. I wondered whether he knew that all I really needed was a t-shirt and trousers...
“Anyway, wear what you like. The shower’s over there,” He gestured down the hall, a few doors down from us both. “And you can grab a towel from the cupboard next to it.”

I smiled gratefully, looking down at the blur of fabric in my arms. 'Not much to offer'...? The phrase made me snort in amusement. Kougu turned to leave – although I hoped it was to get his hand sorted – and I waddled on after him, dropping a pair of socks as I did so. But I didn't try picking them up in fear that I dropped the whole lot, so I carried on walking, until we were both out in the hallway, away from my mother. “Kougu, I... I just wanted to thank you. You didn't have to buy all that food, you know. We've survived on far less than cornflakes before...” I trailed off, a thought suddenly occurring to me. What if Kougu bought the food because he wanted to try and eat? I thought back to what he'd said the morning before. 'I forgot that you ‘normal people’ need to eat.' Maybe he wanted to try and see what it was like to properly live, to provide for himself. Maybe...
Oh, never mind.
“I just want you to know I'm grateful. I'll see you in a bit.” I smiled gently, before shuffling back to the bathroom and dumping all the clothes on the tiled floor. I stared at the pile for a moment, debating on whether or not to choose what I was going to wear straight away, or to get a towel and have a shower first. I clicked my fingers, deciding to go the towel route. I turned round, retrieved a towel and stripped. Making sure the door was closed, I stepped into the shower and turned on the water.

A few minutes later, once I was satisfied that I smelt no longer, I stepped out of the shower and dried myself down. I then turned back to the large pile of clothes and stared, simply stared, before a thought hit me. I've got no clean underwear...
Oh... Crap.
So did that mean I'd have to wear Kougu's clothes with no underwear? Or would I have to walk around stark naked until they were dry?
Double crap.
Grumbling to myself, I ringed my hair out and put on a dark, long-sleeved shirt. Well, no bra would have to do for now. It wasn't like I was going out anywhere...
Hmm...
Hands on hips, I stared at the large towel I had used to dry myself with. Mouth scrunching to one side, I grabbed it and wrapped it around my middle, so it covered me right down to my ankles.
It would have to do.
Quickly, I filled up the bathtub just a few inches high of hot water and dumped in my knickers, socks and the plain white bra.
Well, it couldn't really be classed as white anymore...
I squirted in a small dollop of shower gel and rubbed at the marks until they had faded, ringed them out and hung them on the radiator. I then made a mental note to tell Kougu what I had done before he wandered in for the loo or something and realised he had a wet set of girl's underwear hung on his radiator.
The thought made me smile.
I grabbed another towel and rapped it around my head, rubbing my scalp dry before twisting it round my hair and letting it hang neatly over my shoulder. I flicked the light off, picked up the mountain of clothes and took them towards one of the wardrobes Kougu had wandered to, folded each item up and piled it at the base of the wardrobe. Better not reorder anything, in case I put it in the wrong place.

I wandered back out into the kitchen in bare foot, pulling out a pan from one of the pull-out draws. I then went to the fridge – the fridge I hadn't even known existed until that morning, when Kougu had pointed it out. Retrieving a small box of half a dozen eggs, I closed the door and placed them on the work top. I then pulled out four slices of bread, a bowl, milk, oil and a fork. I cracked four of the eggs, poured in a drop of milk and whisked it until the substance was a creamy yellow colour and dipped in a slice of bread. I turned on the gas and poured a drop of oil onto the pan, before placing the egg-soaked bread onto the pan. I fried all four slices and placed them on two separate plates. ((There ya go, how to make good ol' British eggy bread XD))
I watched the steaming slices for a moment before turning towards the living room, where mum was still sat, curled up on a chair. I spotted the flash of short copper and caramel-highlighted hair peeking up from behind the back, and looked back at the remaining two eggs. “Mum, d'you wa-”
“Chyvonne, please stop calling me by that stupid word. We both know my name is Cathy.”
I clenched my fist around the handle of the metal spatula, gnawing at my bottom lip, forcing myself not to snap at her. Still... The name... Why had she forgotten my name? “D'you want some eggy bread?” My voice shook slightly, but I quickly cleared my throat. She wouldn't even notice if I cried. She never did...
“W-what sort of carer are you? I-I thought I paid you to m-make me proper meals!”
My eyes narrowed. Carer? She thought I was her carer?!
How long had this been going on for?
Not only that, but she sounded like she was trembling. But She didn't sound like she was crying. My eyes flicked to the top of her head, still facing the TV screen. It was shaking. Not much, but it was shaking. My brow furrowed. “Are you alright?” I asked cautiously.
“Why wouldn't I be?”
“You're shaking.” I took a step towards her. “Do you need a blanket?”
“I'm not a baby!” She snapped. “I'm perfectly fine. But this bloody screen needs sorting out.” I followed her gaze to the TV. It was fine.
“There's nothing wrong with the TV screen.” I assured her.
“Yes there is!” She said, pointing a trembling finger towards the screen. “Look! It's flicking!”
I sighed, turning away from her. “I'll make you some breakfast.”
This calmed her down. “Oh, perfect. I want an egg white omelette with Stilton and tomatoes, thank you.”
I rolled my eyes and went back into the kitchen. “Eggy bread, it is.” I muttered irritably, whisking the final two eggs together and dipping in another slice.

I don’t know how you’re spending
all of your days
Knowing that love isn’t here
You see the pictures
But you don’t know their names
Cause love isn’t here


I sang the words quietly, so she probably could hear, but not very well. I placed the first slice on the frying pan and watched it sizzle effectively under the heat.

I can’t do this by myself
All of these problems, they’re all in your head
And I can’t be somebody else
You took something perfect
And painted it red

Flip. Sizzle. Flip.

No sympathy
When shouting out is all you know
Behind your lies
I can see the secrets you don’t show
We don’t know how you’re spending
All of your days
Knowing that love isn’t here
You see the pictures
But you don’t know their names
Cause love isn’t here

Final slice.

And I can’t do this by myself
All of these problems, they’re all in your head
And I can’t be somebody else
You took something perfect
And painted it “red”

Dip. Flip. Sizzle.

You took something perfect
And painted it red.

I turned off the gas and placed both slices on a third plate. It was all good and well thinking that I was always going to love her, she was my mother, after all. But what good was it, if she couldn't even remember my name?
Did it mean that all those years I spent providing for her, serving her, were all a waste? Was that all she thought I was to her? Someone who cared for her because I was paid? Where had she got that from?
By the time I had put everything back in it's place, tears were welling up in my eyes.

((Oh dear, this post is drowning in Cliche's. Sorry! Song was Red - Daniel Merriweather))

As Kougu turned to walk away, he heard Charlie hurrying after him - the soft pitter-patter of her feet sounding like rain against the window pane... At this thought, Kougu turned his attention to the nearest window, squinting slightly to stare outside, and try to gauge what sort of weather the day would bring. At the moment it was still misty - the world shrouded in a thick cloud of vapour. The minuscule droplets gleamed with a gilded glow as the rising sun struck them, and Kougu concluded that the weather would probably be good, though he suspected the cloud meant that it might get stormy again later. Either way, he did not particularly mind. As usual, he had no plans for the day, so the weather had no effect on him. Besides, as long as he was with Charlie, any weather was perfect.
He frowned slightly then - a discomforting thought entering his mind. He certainly was getting in too deep here... He relied too heavily on Charlie.
His happiness depended on hers. His every decision was made with regards of what was best for her… When he simply sat in silence to think, there was barely a minute in which her name did not enter his mind. It scared him, slightly. He had vowed to himself that he would never love again after what had happened to his family, but it seemed that promise had been broken – for better or for worse. No… In fact, it was definitely for worse. Already, he had caused Charlie much pain and suffering, always assuming that someday things would just be okay, as long as the two of them were together. But life wasn’t like that. It was far crueller than anybody could ever imagine. Soon enough, he was sure, it would rip Charlie away from him, and he wasn’t sure if he could take that. In fact, he knew he couldn’t. He had let himself get in far too deep, and if it all ended now – he would go under. He would be broken… And then what? No doubt, his father’s cruel reign on the earth would go on for as long as medical advances could keep a human alive. Knowing that man’s stubbornness, he’d live well past a hundred. It was up to him, Kougu, to keep that from happening. He could not put his mission at risk…
Yes, his time with Charlie had been like a dream. Something sweet and wonderful that makes life perfect, if just for a moment. But that was all it was. Every dream had an end, and it was time he awoke from his – back to the harsh world of reality.
Lady luck had finally smiled upon him, and offered that one little push that he needed. Being with Charlie, protecting her, it had strengthened his resolve. He was as ready now as he would ever be…
And that settled it: He was going.
That night, once Charlie was asleep, he would slip away to fulfil his purpose. To drive a stake through the heart of that foul beast of a man and eliminate him once and for all!
Kougu knew full well that he would probably never return from his ‘mission’… But it had to be done. He didn’t have long left, anyway. Every day he felt the second of his life ticking by, and each heartbeat was one less that he had left. One day soon, it was all going to end. He knew that… Charlie knew it, too. She acted as though she had accepted it… But had she? Would she be okay once he was gone?
Well, there was nothing he could do if she wasn’t. Such was life.
Nothing lasts forever…

With the softest of sighs, Kougu turned back to face Charlie, hiding his thoughts behind a polite smile. He could not give her any hint of what he was planning… Just in case she tried to stop him. He could not allow himself to falter from the path that fate had laid out for him.
For now, Kougu decided that it was best to simply cease thinking about it. So he did – focusing his attention instead on what Charlie had followed him to say.
“Kougu, I... I just wanted to thank you. You didn't have to buy all that food, you know. We've survived on far less than cornflakes before... I just want you to know I'm grateful. I'll see you in a bit.”
These words completely erased the dark cloud hovering over Kougu’s mind, and he chuckled softly to himself. Just like Charlie… Always showing gratitude, even when she didn’t have to. Though he had to admit, he appreciated it. It felt really good to be thanked for something… It was not a feeling he had experienced very often in the past.
“It’s no problem.” Kougu replied with a reassuring smile, his voice quiet and gentle. “It was about time I restocked these old cupboards anyway… Well, see you soon.” He offered a friendly wink, then turned away with a chuckle – heading off to find his medical supplies so that he could sort out his wounded hand, which was starting to sting now that it had moved to the front of his mind. Shot in the hand…? How tame… How boring… One would think Jimmy could at least have struck him somewhere slightly more fatal.
Shrugging off his thoughts, Kougu located one of the many first aid kits lying around the house, and flipped the lid open.

Inside the box was just about anything he might need: Tweezers, antiseptic cream, alcohol wipes, gauze, bandages, a large variety of pills and medications… Even a sterilised needle and medical thread for stitching.
Satisfied with the contents of the box, Kougu flipped the lid closed again and clipped the clasps shut, then he lifted it by the handle and stalked off to his bedroom.
Ordinarily, he would fix injuries in the bathroom, since blood did not easily stain the tiled floor… Unlike the carpets. Oh yes, he remembered perfectly how well blood stained those fluffy white carpets…
The thought nauseated him, and Kougu found himself falling sideways against the wall, grasping it for support. The memories… They were relentless! Never, ever leaving him… His mother’s pleas for her life dying on her lips as his bullet silenced her for eternity… His little sister’s wide blue eyes – so trusting, right until that final moment… Just before the end, the infant had sensed that her brother was not himself, and those angelic eyes had glazed with tears, for the last time… It was ironic, really. Her last tears were cried the same day as Kougu’s first. The day her future died, and his was born… Yes, when the two people he had loved most exploded in that room – their blood had stained the carpets so badly that he had never been able to clean them. That blood – dry and dead now – still reddened the carpet and the walls of that room he hated so much…
Kougu’s eyes darted to that heavily locked door, and a repulsed shudder ran through him. But when he felt himself feeling dizzy again, he looked away, and dragged himself into his room, trying to get away from it all by focusing on the task at hand. His knees weakened, so he seated himself on the bed, and drew in a shaky breath.
Then he flipped open the first aid kit, and set to work.
He started by cleansing the wound with the alcohol wipes – wiping away all the dried blood and killing any germs, of which there were probably plenty by that stage.
It didn’t take too long to get the wound clean, and once the dried blood was cleared away, Kougu found himself examining it curiously. It was such a neat little hole… Nearly dead-centre in his hand! Jimmy had done a beautiful job, he had to admit. Even his bones had been shattered in places! There wasn’t much he could do about that – but they always seemed to heal on their own, so it was fine.
Kougu amused himself for a while with the fact that he could stick a finger right through his own hand, but then he remembered that he was actually supposed to be fixing it, not making it worse. So he wiped the blood off his finger, then grabbed a wad of cotton wool, and covered it in the antiseptic cream. He wiped the wound thoroughly, taking care to disinfect it was best he could. It would be extremely troublesome for him if he was to become ill from infection… Likely as not, he wouldn’t pull through it. It was just as well Charlie had talked him into sorting out this wound, in that case…
Shuddering slightly at the thought of what could have happened, Kougu shrugged, then picked up the needle. This made him shudder again. He wasn’t shutting out the pain quite as well as he usually did at that moment, and the idea of repeatedly puncturing his own skin when he still had complete feeling did not exactly appeal to him.
Still, Kougu threaded the needle and gave it a try, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to do it.
So, with a weary sigh, he took the tub of painkillers from his pocket, and dry-swallowed a couple – trying to ignore the fact that taking two at once was probably a very bad idea.
They soon took effect, and as the pain vanished and a numb feeling settled over him, Kougu clumsily stitched the wound as best he could. The hole was too wide for him to stitch completely, but he did his best.
When he was done, he cleaned and disinfected it one last time, then covered the wound with gauze, and finally wrapped a bandage around his hand.
He raised the disproportionate bundle to his face, studying it appraisingly. Finally, he gave a nod of approval – pleased with his handiwork – then dropped it back to his side. He packed away the first aid kit, and tossed the used supplies into the bin – then got up to walk off in search of Charlie, whom he found himself missing a little by this stage.

His vision was slightly out of focus from the overdose of medication, and he felt himself swaying slightly as he walked, but he was mostly just relieved that the effects had not been any worse. He was sure they would wear off soon enough…
He stumbled clumsily through the doorway into the living room, spared a brief glance for Cathy – who was still watching the television – then crossed the room to the kitchen, where he could hear a sizzling that suggested Charlie was busy cooking.
He sniffed appreciatively at the appetising scent drifting around the room, and decided that he would eat some after all.
Kougu approached the counter silently and leaned against it, watching Charlie curiously. She seemed only to be wearing a towel. He took note of this fact, but found that he was too drugged up to have any real opinion on it.
He did, however, notice that she seemed upset. This made him frown slightly, and after watching her a moment longer, he straightened up and walked over to her – brow furrowed in concern. “Are you okay?” He asked gently as he reached her side, looking down at her with a somewhat worried expression on his pale face.
Her hair was incredibly shiny when it was wet… He could not help but notice this, for the flickering lights reflected in it were constantly distracting him. So pretty… His eyes slid out of focus, and he seemed to completely forget about Charlie – seeing only the reflections on her damp hair. His senses were dulled by the medication – his thought process slowed – and suddenly simple things that he would ordinarily barely have noticed seemed fascinating to him.
Kougu reached out absentmindedly and trailed his fingers over Charlie’s hair. It was cool, and damp against his fingertips… It looked good, and it felt good… Drawing in a deep breath, Kougu concluded that it smelled good, too. Kougu toyed with the idea of tasting it as his fingers repeatedly brushed over Charlie’s damp hair – stroking her like one might stroke a cat.
So cool… And shiny… It fascinated him.

((I'm done. *Dies* It actually wasn't as difficult as I expected once I got started. ))

((Woot! Well done, Polo Loved it, as always Now. sicne I have nothing else to do, I might as well think of a reply ))

((Woot! Done in a day! *is proud of self* Not reading it through though, I'm too scared Hope it's not too bad!))

I'd been so deep in thought, my vision blurred slightly by the tears welling up in my eyes, that I'd barely heard Kougu's light footsteps as he slowly, distractedly made his way into the kitchen. Thoughts were dancing around in my head, reasons why my mother was acting the way she was teasing my brain. What if it was something serious? Of course, it had to be. Someone who suffered from a tremor and memory loss were bound to have something wrong with them. Noon had a tremor just by chance...
What if it was life threatening? If I didn't take her to the doctors to get her checked out, what if she died? And not only might it be death, but a long, excruciatingly painful end to her difficult life...
I'd have to get her checked out.
But what if it was something bad? Something that, if not treated or cured – if such things would be possible – it made her life hell, however short it may be?
Oh God...
I scrunched my eyes closed, trying desperately to force my uneven breathing to calm. I wasn't going to lose her. She was my mother, for goodness' sake. The world surely couldn't be so unfair that it took someone else's life in order to punish me. I'd already lost two members of my family, not to mention a huge number of friends I thought I had. I deserved a lot of bad things, but losing the last person left in my family had to be a little extreme...

But of course, reality check. If the world revolved around fairness, all those innocent people in the third world countries, starving and dying of horrific diseases, wouldn't be living the lives they were. If the world revolved around fairness, all the people that had ever done wrong – whether that was murder, theft, torture, rape etc – would be the ones starving...
Okay, so that was rather extreme of me. No one deserved what those third world people were going through. No one-
“Are you okay?”
A young, innocent male voice made me jump slightly, and I turned my head up to see Kougu hovering slightly over my shoulder, a concerned frown creasing his pale, hidden brow. I tried my best to smile at him, but it only ended up making the sides of my lips tremble. I so desperately wanted to cry, but in another way, I didn't. I didn't want to shed any more tears, as I knew I had already – and for extremely petty things. As terrified I was about losing my mother, I had to keep myself from breaking once more, no matter how hurt I was. Besides, there was no need to dump another load ((Okay, one of us had to say it XD)) onto Kougu's already frail shoulders. He was carrying enough already. So I sighed, deciding that saying nothing would be the good way to go. I flipped over the slice of bread with the metal spatula and turned off the gas, leaving the pan to cool for a few moments before serving it on top of the first slice on the crystal-white plate. Steam wafted upwards from the soft, yellow surface, sending out a new wave of luscious, mouth-watering smells to spread throughout the kitchen. I took a moment to inhale the scent, enjoying the feeling of being back home again, listening to Alex playing in the yard, me playing with my dolls and mum cooking eggy bread from the kitchen with dad reading the newspaper by the dining room. I missed those days, those days where I could live without a care in the world, the biggest problem being if Alex pinched my crayons from my colouring box. But now, as always, I had to see reality. Dad and Alex were dead, and mum was quickly drifting from my reach, I could tell. I had to wake up.
Wake up...
But I didn't want to. This world was just far too hellish for me. I wanted to stay in the dream I wished was my life, with a family, a good house, a decent job and a man who loved me for me, and one whom I trusted enough to know that he wouldn't just leave me for the sake of revenge.
Yes, I had many reasons to hate Kougu, but so did he for me. I mean, how many times had he helped me and I just threw it back in his face? I'd told him I wished I'd never met him, for goodness' sake. I was surprised he'd come after me after all I'd said to him back at the park. It was a hell of a wonder that I wasn't the first one he'd in that old pub, too. In fact, why was he giving me another chance, when he knew I didn't deserve it? Why was he being so caring? Why was he-
Wait a minute.

Why was he stroking me?

I turned to him uncertainly, the plate containing mum's breakfast in one hand, the other ready to take another plate to him. But I stopped in my tracks as I saw the glassy look in his eye. He seemed... distant. Like he wasn't 'with it' at all. In his own little world.
I still couldn't understand what was so fascinating about my hair...
Brow furrowing slightly in confusion I looked him up and down, wondering what on earth he had been taking, when my eyes spotted the bandage covering his injured hand.
Well, at least that had been sorted. So like a mother trying to potty train her child, I would reward him.
Once, that is, I figured out what was wrong with him. He'd seemed fine a minute ago. Although I hadn't exactly been paying him much attention...
“Er... Are you okay?” I asked him suspiciously, watching the narcosis in his eyes for any form of concentration that didn't involve anything to do with my hair. But I gave up on waiting for an answer, rolled my eyes and shook my head in amusement. There just seemed to be no ends to his bizarre ways of thinking and being. Therefore, I didn't bother questioning his actions. I turned side-ways on towards the worktop, picked up his plate and offered it to him with a neutral expression. “Here,” I said, looking down at the yellow, fluffy slices dumped on the clean, perhaps slightly dusty plate. “It's not much, but it'll keep you going. Besides, you don't seem to be one for food, so I thought I'd better not give you anything too rich, or strong.” I shook my head, as if shaking off any more babble that may kill the time he could have spent consuming the food he seemed to be lacking in his system. I'd not seen him eat or drink anything since I'd first met him, and I really couldn't understand how he was alive, never mind awake. “Anyway, here you go. Eat.” My lips twitched a slight smile to show him it was not quite an order, but more of a friendly suggestion, and brushed past him to attend to my mother.

As soon as I'd stepped out of the kitchen, a vile smell wafted through my nostrils, one which I recognised almost immediately. Urine. I pulled a face. That wasn't from the bathroom, surely? No, it was too strong to be in the bathroom. It was somewhere... somewhere in the living room. Cautiously, I stepped towards the single chair, where mum sat curled up, her large, round eyes staring unblinkingly at the scene. The stench was getting stronger...
Shaking my head, I rested the plate on her knee, when the unwelcome scent hit my once again like a bash on the head. Slowly, I looked down to mum's skirt, noticing the wet stain between her legs. My jaw dropped. “You've leaked, haven't you?” I exclaimed, horrified. “You know, if you needed the toilet, all you needed to do was get up and go. Least of all, you could have warned me before just going where you pleased.”
She looked down, as if studying the mark for the first time. To be honest, I wouldn't have been too surprised if it had been the first time. “Don't get your knickers in a twist, Chyvonne.” She said, shaking her head. “It's hardly my fault, is it? If I'd known where the lavatory was-”
“You could have got up and looked for yourself,” I snapped. “It's not that hard.”
She raised her eyebrows in disapproval. “That's n-not how I expect a carer to t-treat their employer, Missy. Y-you know I could have you s-sacked for th-”
“Sacked? Employer?!” I rolled my head back, growling through tightly gritted teeth. I took a few short breaths before throwing my hands down and punching the top of the chair, a few inches away from her head. The blow caused her to flinch. Of course, I wasn't going to aim for her head, no matter how angry I was. But I needed to hit something. Something that wouldn't break... “You don't pay me... At all!” I looked her right in the eye, tears of fury beginning to start at the bags beneath my eyes. “I'm your daughter! This... This is not our house. Our house was destroyed in an arson attack by Jimmy Mackintosh, along with all the things we once owned. We don't have any money, or anything. The only reason why we're here is because of Kougu.” I pointed a firm finger towards him from across the room, not taking my eyes off her. “That man, right here. You remember, the one you disapproved of from Day one? This is his house. And he could throw us both out if he so pleases. He didn't have to take us in in the first place. D'you know why he did?”
No answer.
“Because he cared, that's why. And d'you know what, mum? It's not that hard to care about someone. All it takes is a smile and a bit of 'please' and 'thank you' every now and then. Not by treating people as they're 'employees'.” I wiped my tear-drenched cheek roughly, causing my skin to go slightly blotchy from the touch. I sniffed, took a step away form her and sighed shakily. “And my name's not Chyvonne,” I muttered, looking away. “It's Charlie. Try and remember that, okay? I don't think you've called me that in over a week.” I then turned my back on her, back towards the kitchen where my own breakfast sat. It will probably have gone cold by now. I then swallowed, my gaze slowly sinking to the floor. Well, so much for swallowing the tears... “Eat your breakfast, then I'll get the bath running. Y-you'll probably need to get your skirt washed.” I sniffed once more, deciding I'd made enough of a scene, and left her there, staring blankly at my back as I disappeared to get my own breakfast.

Just as I'd expected, it had, indeed, gone cold. But I didn't care. It felt like I'd not eaten in days, even thought I'd had that chocolate the morning before. Still, it wasn't exactly much, was it? I slid the plate off the work top and sat down at the small, mahogany dining table, dumping the plate in my place. I then looked up at Kougu, my gaze still slightly watery. “And you thought your father was bad?” I whispered with a weak smile. “At least he knows who you are.” I shook my head with a sigh and pulled off the soft crust of my first slice. I then popped it in my mouth, and silently began to chew.

(( ! I'm so impressed! Haha! ))

((*Dies* ))

Kougu wasn’t paying attention, so he didn’t notice Charlie’s failed attempt at a smile. In fact, he completely forgot he had even asked after her wellbeing. He was in a complete daze – although thankfully, the effects of the drug were slowly starting to wear off. He should have known better than to overdose… Again. But of course, he didn’t. When did he ever act according to his better judgment, really?
Presently, Kougu noticed that Charlie had turned to face him, and that she was watching him with what he swore was suspicion in her expression. So, naturally, Kougu’s eyes widened and he blinked innocently – offering a classic ‘Who, me?’ puppy-like expression.
“Er... Are you okay?” She asked suddenly – still watching him suspiciously. For some reason, this struck Kougu as being particularly amusing, and he had to stifle several giggles behind his hand before he could finally reply.
“No, not really.” He responded finally, smiling meekly. “I overdosed on my painkillers, so I’m a little… Out of it.” He explained, gesturing and demonstrating animatedly with his hands.
Then some focus returned to him, and Kougu dropped his hands back to his sides – concentrating a little harder on Charlie.
Seeming somewhat amused, she offered him the plate of food – which Kougu accepted with a murmured word of thanks. He stared at the steamy concoction curiously – barely listening to what Charlie was saying, since he was so caught up in examining the meal – almost as though he expected it to mutate and start devouring him before he had a chance to start eating it.
Nobody had cooked for him since – Well, a long time ago. He didn’t care to remember the good times at that moment. They would only make him miserable, and he was feeling surprisingly cheerful at that moment. By his standards, anyway. It helped to be distracted by just about… everything.
“It's not much, but it'll keep you going. Besides, you don't seem to be one for food, so I thought I'd better not give you anything too rich, or strong.”
Charlie’s voice blared in the back of his mind like a dull buzzing, and finally it became irritating enough that Kougu glanced around for the source. Noticing Charlie, he smiled slightly, then refocused his attention to listen.
“Anyway, here you go. Eat.”
Kougu returned her smile – the corners of his eyes crinkling slightly as they sometimes did when he was relaxed enough.
“Hai! Yes Ma’am!” He replied with a laugh, “Thank you.”
He smiled gratefully, then left Charlie and walked over to the dining room, sitting down at the dark mahogany table and setting his plate on the rich, polished wood.
He picked up his knife and fork, eyes the food uncertainly for a moment, then shrugged and muttered to himself. “Itadakimasu.” (Traditionally said before meals in Japanese culture. Oh yeah… The things you learn watching anime. )
He was about to take a mouthful, when a raised voice from the other room suddenly caught his attention.
“You've leaked, haven't you?”
Frowning in confusion, Kougu glanced up from his food and let his gaze travel to Charlie, who was staring down at her mother with a horrified expression on her face. “You know, if you needed the toilet, all you needed to do was get up and go. Least of all, you could have warned me before just going where you pleased.”
Feeling slightly awkward, Kougu turned away from the conversation and quietly began nibbling at his food. At the first mouthful, he stopped – eyes widening slightly in surprise.
It was good…
He couldn’t remember the last time any food had tasted good to him. Usually, it felt like cardboard in his mouth, and tasted much the same. Flavour escaped him, as though he truly was one of the damned.
Shrugging off his thoughts, he swallowed and took another mouthful – chewing slowly and taking care not to choke, since knowing his luck, he was likely to do just that.
He munched placidly for a while longer – his mind drifting in and out of dreamland.

Then, suddenly, he heard his name mentioned, and his attention darted back to the conversation in the next room, despite his best efforts to keep it on the food before him.
“…That man, right here. You remember, the one you disapproved of from Day one? This is his house. And he could throw us both out if he so pleases. He didn't have to take us in in the first place. D'you know why he did? Because he cared, that's why. And d'you know what, mum? It's not that hard to care about someone. All it takes is a smile and a bit of 'please' and 'thank you' every now and then. Not by treating people as they're 'employees'.”
He stared blankly, somewhat shocked to hear Charlie sounding so upset. Though he had to admit, if he were in her position, he would be pretty upset himself… Charlie was so good to her mother! Hell, she was good to everyone… It was beyond him how anybody could treat her with anything less than kindness…
It seemed to Kougu that Cathy was ungrateful. But still, something was not right… The woman was unwell. But he did not want to get involved, knowing that he would only make it worse… Hopefully, whatever was ailing her would come right on its own. If not, it would be up to Charlie to find help for her… Kougu didn’t know what to do.
Feeling slightly awkward, he glanced toward the half-eaten meal before him, and quietly cut another piece and popped it into his mouth.
Stab. Cut. Chew. Chew. Chew. Chew. Swallow. Stab. Cut… ((Not desperate for more words at all. XD ))
He repeated the routine over and over – keeping his mind occupied on finishing his food.
He barely even noticed when Charlie suddenly appeared, and nearly jumped out of his seat when her voice broke through his thoughts.
“And you thought your father was bad? At least he knows who you are.”
Kougu looked over at Charlie, a delicate frown on his face, his expression lingering somewhere between concern and sympathy. He wasn’t sure what to say… Some small part of him wanted to rant and rave and insist that his father was the worst human being on the planet, but his more empathetic side soon hushed this troublesome indignant one. It would be most unhelpful if he randomly launched into a fit about how his father had robbed him of sanity, self control, self respect, desire to live, all his family and friends, and even the ability to love. Although…. Maybe, just maybe, he had managed to find that last one…
He blinked mildly at Charlie, considering her pretty face thoughtfully.
Yes… No matter how he looked at it, he loved her. Why was it that this fact did not make him any less useless when she clearly needed comfort….?
“I’m sorry.” He murmured gently, unsure what else to say. “That must have been rough…” He glanced down, his dark eyes staring blankly at the empty plate in front of him. “I’d like to say that I’m sure she’ll come around, but… Well, we both know that life isn’t always kind. For what it’s worth though, I hope things will work out… And if they don’t, I’ll do everything in my power to bring back the mother you knew.”
He offered a faint, forced smile, then stood.
“Thank you for the food. It was delicious.” He murmured politely – and with that, he stood and walked back to the kitchen – washing his plate in the sink.

From there, the hours of the day trickled by, and before Kougu knew it, the sun was high in the sky – sitting in a throne of clouds. Wind rattled the windows in their frames, and as the daylight burned slowly away -–the temperature dropped further and further, and the heavy clouds showed threats of rain.
At some point during the day, Kougu found himself cleaning the couch – placidly scrubbing the unwelcome scent of urine from the old cushions. He didn’t mind doing the chore. He was used to cleaning all sorts of things, thanks to his father. His early childhood years had been nothing more than glorified slavery. He had to do whatever his father asked. And if he complained – the pain of the punishment was such that he would not dare object again.
The smell of the cleaner, the rough feeling of the chemicals on his hand… It was nostalgic, and Kougu felt the emotion draining from him, rather than coming flooding back as it might with most people. But he had always shut it out… Only recently was he learning to feel, and even to express.

Once he was done cleaning, Kougu found himself prowling around the house again, and afternoon gradually stretched into evening.
The time was coming… And it showed.
Kougu began to get restless. But every time he realized it, he hurriedly attempted to hide it – worried that Charlie might notice, and guess his plans.
He wished she would just go to sleep… His confidence was wavering, and he wanted to go before he talked himself out of it again. He was as ready now as he would ever be… In fact, his body was gradually beginning to weaken, and he knew that if he left it any longer, he might not have the strength to face his father if the time came…
No, it was now or never, and never was not an option… For if he couldn’t put an end to his father, who could? The man was an evil leech feeding off the goodness in the world, and he had to be destroyed. This was the destiny that had befallen Kougu… To destroy the monster that had created him.
As 9PM came around, Kougu found himself standing outside ‘that room’. The room with the heavily locked door. The room that held so many memories for him…
He rested one hand on the cold wooden surface, thinking to himself.
That night, the last member of his family would die. Unless he himself was killed… He wondered if his mother would approve of his choice, and came to the conclusion that she would not. But that couldn’t be helped, since she didn’t understand…
Sighing softly, he turned away from the door, and wandered off in search of Charlie.

((Woot! Well done, Polo! I'll give you a couple of days, just so I can think for a reply, then I'll probably find a way to shorten it to about a page.
No promises, though
Honestly, I wouldn't have known you had block. Honest! ^_^ Now then, I'll have to think of things Charlie might do in a normal day at 'Maison A La Kougu' XD))

(( Haha! I was totally under-motivated... XD And no matter what you say my amazing friend, I think it shows.
Good luck with your reply. I look forward to it! ^_^
And in the mean time, to keep us both occupied and inspired... A very short RP? XD *Prods toward new RP*
Once the idea got into my head, it was just too appealing to get rid of. ))

((You are your worst critic, Polo. And whatever YOU say, I honestly can't tell.
Haha, thank ya, buddykins! ^_^
If you have any ideas, then let's go for it But we're carryign this on to it's year anniversay, right? Otherwise you know we'll regret it ))

((That I am. Haha! Look how smart we are - agreeing to disagree. :3 *Smirk* Haha!
Oh, totally!!! Come on, this RP is far too epic to let it die. It is reaching its 1-year anniversary even if it ends up being the death of me! XD Hehe!

But anyway - I made a post for that short RP. Just had no idea where to start or what character to use... *Sigh*

Can't wait for your post! XD *Hugs RP* :3 ))

((I have... NO idea how that works... *shrugs* Oh well
haha! well, as long as we agree on that But we really should think of somethign for a big finale, that hopefully won't end with Kougu dying...

Oooh I shall go have a lookie Although I'll warn you now, I have no other charris. So if it turns out a little weird, or if I change character after a few posts, it's because I made it up on the spot XP))

((MWAHAHAHAHA! *Evil obsession with killing off characters*
We shall have to wait and see... *Leaves Dreameh hanging in suspense* ... *Enjoys*

Ah, no worries! XD Characters are supposed to develop! That's the whole fun of it! *Nods and dances*
Can't wait! XD ))

((Okay, I may well have to have a figner chopped off to stop me from writing so much... o.0 Either I have really written 1700 words, or my word count thing adds on another 100 words after every sentence I write... o.0))

The soggy egg taste in my mouth gave me a strong urge to gag, but my stomach was so desperate for food that I swear it felt like there was some monster in there clawing at me from the inside. Food... A warm droplet of raw yolk trickled down my tongue, possibly the only thing left on my plate that actually had remained warm, and I relished the moment for a few minutes longer, enjoying the dull, yet succulent taste of the thick bread sandwiched between my jaws. I closed my eyes, desperately trying to lose myself in the moment, to forget what had happened in the past ten minutes.
Food...
I swallowed, feeling the warm mush roll slowly down my throat, leaving a slightly sickly aftertaste. I pulled a face. I must have cooked that slice a little too quickly, as the same familiar burning taste still lingered on my taste buds.
I didn't want to eat. I was too depressed to eat. But at the same time, I was so damn hungry...
Letting out another short sigh, I tore another chunk off the slice and put it in my mouth.
“I'm sorry.”
The words caused me to swallow automatically, and it was then that I realised I'd completely forgotten to chew. I coughed slightly, staring at him with a quizzical expression. What was he apologising for?
“That must have been rough… ”
Oh, okay. So he was trying to comfort me. Perhaps I should have figured that out myself, for it was the only reason why he would feel to have the need to apologise. After all, Mum's amnesia was nothing to do with him. At least, it wasn't his fault she was acting the way she was. Otherwise, I would have figured it out a long time ago. I shrugged, staring down at the half eaten slice on my plate. Now that he'd reminded me about what had happened, I wasn't sure if I wanted it anymore.
“I'd like to say that I’m sure she’ll come around, but… Well, we both know that life isn’t always kind. For what it’s worth though, I hope things will work out… And if they don’t, I’ll do everything in my power to bring back the mother you knew.”
I shook my head, propped my elbows on the rich, mahogany dining table and ran my hands through my long hair.
He hopes things will work out...
Hope.
Well, that was promising. So her not getting any better wasn't just me being paranoid, it was reality. Once again, the odds were against my favour.
Why was I not surprised?

Defeated, I stared down at the dark lines that intertwined with each other on the varnished mahogany, gradually darkening into harsh knots which were dotted randomly over the sleek surface. This wasn't happening. Not again. Not to me...
“Thank you for the food. It was delicious.”
Feeling sick, I replied with a faint grunt, although it appeared to be overpowered with the soft sound of the legs of his chair scraping against the flat, cream carpet. I slowly arose my head, fatigue hinting at the bags under my eyes. My fingers knotted through my hair as I stared aimlessly out the window, my mind playing around with all the possible illnesses my Mum could have had. Dementias were common, and many included her symptoms and more, and many get worse as the patient gets older. I could remember the conversation with the doctor the day I lost my father and Alex, they'd said something about sub-cortical dementias ((Oh yeah, Dreameh did her homework )) that could be triggered by a severe blow to the head, although not all were started by head injuries. Some were genetically transferred down through different generations...
No. No, I was over-thinking this. Dementias? Wasn't that a little misleading? Mum wasn't demented, and neither was anyone with a brain disorder!
And what the hell did 'sub-cortical' mean?
I needed to take her to a doctor, but I was just so scared. I was scared to find out if it would kill her eventually, how bad it would get, if it was treatable, etcetera. I didn't want to go through that just yet. Far too much had happened for me to be worrying about my mother's future, and whether she would even have one. The very thought made my stomach clench.
So instead of letting my mind wander further, I pushed the thoughts from my head, grabbed my plate – still containing one and a half slices of eggy bread – and wandered into the kitchen, dumped the food in the bin and washed up my plate alongside Kougu without another word.


The day droned on without barely a word being spoken, as we all seemed to have found something to do to keep us occupied. Once the plates were washed, I made it my job to dry and stack them back in the cupboards. I then spent the next hour or so attending to mother; cleaning her, washing her hair, washing her clothes, and leaving her for a few minutes to dry herself whilst I went off in search for clothes, or at least, anything she could wear whilst her clothes dried. After scooting through a few cupboards, I managed to find an old dressing gown in the towel pile that fit her enough to cover her up. We'd not spoken a word since my outburst, as I guessed she must have felt a mix between awkward and guilty, although I'd not heard a single apology from her, as of yet. Still, I didn't regret anything I'd said, as it was all completely true. Kougu didn't have to have let us in in the first place, nor did he have to put up with us for this long. He could have thrown us out onto the street, but he didn't. Because he cared.
It surprised me that, after all he had done for us, that he was a bad person. Obviously, he was in a different world. Didn't he know he was the first person to do anything like that for me? Anything at all? Didn't he realise how grateful I was that we'd even met in the first place?

By the time I had sorted mum back in front of the telly – after doing a deal that she told me before piddling where she pleased – my underwear on the radiator was dry, and so I could properly dress into the baggy jeans and shirt Kougu had provided for me, and was finally in the state to leave the house if it was necessary (which I'm guessing it will be pretty soon ). No one was hungry for lunch, so I spent most of the day wandering aimlessly around the house, tidying the kitchen and bathroom, or watching TV on the sofa. Unlike before, where the strong smell of urine invaded my nostrils, the infested stench had been replaced by a strong bleach smell, telling me that someone – who was likely to be Kougu – had cleaned the chair whilst we had been upstairs.
The thought made me smile.
That had been sly of him, but in the same way, I was thankful. But I also felt guilty that it was my lack of responsibility that had led to the stain on the chair cushion. But I had to say, that smell of bleach was surprisingly comforting. I'd not smelt anything as pleasing as that – minus fresh air – in a long while. The afternoon was spent curled up on the sofa, listening to various celebrities on talk shows, people beating each other up on Jerry Springer, cooking on Master Chef and several murder mysteries from the 90's. Usually, I wouldn't have bothered watching such crap, but this one time it was nice. I was sat in the same room as my mother, neither of us were talking, neither were we screaming at each other and she wasn't trying to slap or hurt me. Plus, it made the hours fly by a little quicker than before.

Before I knew it, evening had caused the sun to give bright pink rays, causing the whole house to glow warmly under the setting sun. My stomach began growling disobediently, groaning that it hadn't been given food in over ten hours. Sighing, I unravelled from my fixed, 'ball' position and stretched my legs out in front of me, letting out an unwelcome yawn. So much TV had began to tire my eyes. I slowly pushed myself to my feet, turning to mum. “You hungry?” I asked.
She looked at me, her expression blank, and nodded.
I mirrored her gesture and tiredly waddled past the TV and into the kitchen, curiously searching the cupboards for what to have so late in the evening. I wasn't in the mood for cooking, and I was sure neither Kougu nor mum would mind what they were fed anyway, so I squatted down to the bottom cupboard, opened the door and pulled out a couple of cereal boxes. I then picked up three bowls from the upper cupboard and placed a couple of Wheat-a-bix in each bowl, poured in some milk and put each plate in the microwave for a minute or so. I then poured a drop of syrup in, mixed it and gave a bowl to mum. I then returned to the kitchen and attended to the next bowl. “Kougu?” I called, wondering where on earth he had got to. “Kougu?” I popped the next bowl in the microwave and leant back on the work top, staring aimlessly around the room. A body passed by the door, and I recognised Kougu's familiar plain shirt and stepped out of the room to see him. He seemed... Occupied, somehow. There was an odd look in his eyes that was unreadable to me, although it wouldn't be the first time. I gazed up at him innocently, leaning back on the wall behind me. “D'you want some cereal?” I asked him, gesturing behind me to the kitchen. “I've got some Wheat-a-bix in the microwave if you want me to do some. You haven't eaten since this morning, and it may get a little cold, that's all. And since you always look cold...” I left the sentence lingering in the air and ended it with a light shrug. Perhaps he'd take the hint, perhaps he wouldn't. Still, the warm food at night would probably make him tired, at least I hoped so.
I'd just have to wait and see.

“Kougu?”
The voice echoed through the big house, and Kougu jumped in surprise. He had nearly forgotten that Charlie was here… And her mother, too. Over the years, he had become so accustomed to this house being empty that now that it wasn’t… Well, it seemed strange.
He turned as he heard the call come again – gazing down the passage toward the doorway where he guessed Charlie would appear. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t answer her summons… Somehow, the silence just seemed to grip him.
Yet even without an answer, Charlie tracked him down. He smiled slightly, and made his way over to her as she appeared around a corner.
”D'you want some cereal?” She asked, and as Kougu considered this, she went on, “I've got some Wheat-a-bix in the microwave if you want me to do some. You haven't eaten since this morning, and it may get a little cold, that's all. And since you always look cold...”
Kougu chuckled politely into his hand, finding himself fondly amused by her words. So he looked cold, did he…? Well, that was the general idea – but he was relatively certain that he and Charlie were using ‘cold’ in rather different contexts. All the same, she had always been strangely unaffected by his cold demeanour… Thank goodness.
“Oh..” Kougu piped up suddenly, remembering that he had yet to answer Charlie’s question. “No… No, nothing for me – thank you. I’ve had quite enough to eat for one day.” He smiled gently, his eyes scanning Charlie’s familiar face. She was still bothered by what had happened with her mother… And Kougu felt a painful stab of guilt for selfishly wishing that he could have seen her smile one last time, despite it all.
He stared at her, eyes sliding out of focus, and tried to imagine what it would be like to die. He had endured near-death experiences plenty of times, but –obviously – he had yet to pass into the void once and for all.
Yet if there was ever a ‘right time’ – it was likely to be that night. He hoped that Charlie would not miss him… He hoped that she would be all right.

Finally, Kougu managed to refocus his attention, and with a warm smile, he laid his hand gently on Charlie’s head. For a moment he simply relished the softness of her clean hair beneath his fingers, but then he slowly slid his hand downward to cup his long fingers around the back of her head.
This is goodbye… He thought to himself, as his lips formed a bittersweet curve reminiscent of a smile.
Kougu curved his fingers, and gently pulled Charlie’s head toward him – all the while applying the very best of his skills to ensure that his expression remained neutral, and his actions casual. He could not allow her to suspect anything, but he couldn’t face the idea of leaving without a memory, either. He needed this one last intimate moment, so that he could hold it close to his heart when strength evaded him. So that, when he felt like raising a flag of surrender, he would be able to go on…
I’ll miss you, my dear.
He leaned toward her, and when his face was inches from hers, he closed his eyes a moment to shut out the rest of the world.
Thank you for everything.
He kissed her forehead gently – not once considering meeting her lips instead. He expressed no romantic feelings whatsoever, but rather a brotherly love. A protectiveness for the one he cared for the most.

When his lips broke away, Kougu wrapped his arms around Charlie and pulled her close – letting his eyes slide gradually shut. He let her warmth wash over him, allowing himself to enjoy the precious closeness he had been denied for so many years. It would all be over soon… And he would never have to worry about hurting Charlie again. The thought was one of such bittersweet relief that Kougu wanted to cry, yet he showed no indication of tears. He had been trained far too well for that.
“Be strong, Charlie.” He whispered gently, “It will be okay.”
He paused a moment, then added one last comment to lend a false explanation to his actions.
“She’s got you.”
Yes… Let her think this was all because you felt sorry for her in the situation with her mother. Pity you didn’t do all this for that reason – that would have been sweet. But oh no – you’re selfish as ever.
Exactly.
Kougu pulled back, resting his hands on Charlie’s shoulders, and looked into her eyes for a moment. Then he smiled cheerfully, and stepped back – lightening the atmosphere instantly.
“Right! I’m going to have a shower now, so I’ll see you later if you’re still awake. Enjoy your cereal!”
He smiled brightly, then waved and turned away – scurrying off to his room to hunt down some fresh clothes.

Upon entering the room, Kougu made a bee-line to the wardrobe. He clawed his way through layer upon layer of old, dusty clothing until he finally made his way to the bottom. There, he found a box. A simple box made of hard, firm cardboard – its glossy surface turned matte by dust and moths. Hooking his long fingers under it, he pulled it out from the sea of clothes and held it up. He blew softly on the surface, and a could of dust flew into the air – making him cough softly.
Kneeling on the ground, Kougu placed the box on his lap and lifted off the lid.
Inside, folded neatly, was a pressed, folded suit – old, but brand new. Not once worn… He let his fingers trail over the stiff fabric for a moment, then shrugged and flipped the box shut again.
He picked it up and stood, then made his way over to the bathroom – taking care to avoid bumping into Charlie. He had said his goodbye… He didn’t want to give himself any motives to change his mind about what he was about to do.

When he reached the bathroom, Kougu entered and pulled the door shut behind him. He locked it, then set the box on the floor, and sat down with a sigh – perching on the edge of the bathtub.
It was finally happening… But was he really ready? He supposed he was as ready as he’d ever be… Now – to look the part.
He stood, walking over to the shower, and reached inside to turn on the spray. Water sputtered out – battering the tiles below with a sound much like pelting rain. As the steam began to rise, Kougu stripped and stepped into the shower.
He took his time – relishing the feeling of the warm water beating down on his shoulders, just in case this would be the last time he felt it.
Finally, as the hot water began running cold, and his fingers shriveled to look like prunes, Kougu turned the tap to kill the spray of water, and pulled a towel off the rack to dry himself.
He dressed in a haze, buttoning his shirt mechanically, and slipping on the pair of Italian leather shoes he had set aside for himself. ((It was a big box, okay. XD ))
He laced them up neatly, then slowly straightened and turned to the mirror – the one that wasn’t broken. Grabbing a comb and hairdryer, he set to work taming his wild hair. Usually it refused to cooperate, but this time he was more stubborn than it was, and in the end he managed to flatten it. Of course, it was still long and shaggy, but it looked neat – frighteningly so. He stared at his reflection, and when he blinked – it blinked back. He wasn’t sure why this surprised him… Perhaps he had thought it was some optical illusion... The boy staring at him from that mirror couldn't possibly be him.
Apart from his pale complexion and dark blue eyes, he was the spitting image of his father. Not once before had he seen that man’s handsome charm in his own face – and now he knew exactly why: He hated it. No, he loathed it. He wasn’t himself…
But tonight, he wasn’t – for tonight was the night that he would kill willingly, and die in the very same way.
His expression hardened, and Kougu’s lips curved into a deadly, devious smirk. Suddenly, he was looking right at that face he hated so much – and he was ready.
Reaching into the pocket of his fancy black suit, Kougu withdrew a small, handheld pistol and pointed it at the mirror.
“I’ve become all you wanted me to be… It’s a level playing field now, Ottosama. Let’s see who lives and dies.” He whispered quietly, finger tightening on the trigger.
But then he checked himself – remembering Charlie. The sound would alert her as to what he was doing, no doubt. Or at the very least, make her suspicious. He couldn’t have that… Oh no.

So Kougu resisted the urge, and slipped the gun back into his pocket. He turned away from the mirror, and faced the window instead. Walking over to it, he pushed it open and leaped nimbly out, landing in a crouch in his back garden. The cold night air clawed at his damp hair, but Kougu ignored it. He straightened slowly and brushed imaginary dust from his suit, then gazed up at the star-filled sky overhead. The soft, silver moonlight lit him with a colourless, vampiric glow – reflecting off his shiny hair as he glided silently forward into the night, his footsteps so smooth that they seemed to blend with the darkness.



((The suit was inspired by Kumohira sensei, of course. XD I couldn’t imagine Kougu wearing one before I saw him! Hehe! So, to assist your imagination:

Link

Hehe… Just realized the page that image comes from is a Nabari no ou role play!! XD What are the odds?! … *Reads* … They’re pretty good. O.o *Jealousy* ))

((Here's one of the many songs I found for this moment. Remember me - Journey

Have a listen! ^_^ ))

((I love how you'd said you didn't know what to write and end up with something as epic as that Won't be able to reply today, since I've got maths coursework to finish, but I'll get onto it in the week, since I've only got around 2 sets of homework to do ))

((Haha!! XD I was quite happy. *Nodnod* I spent all week thinking and thinking and thinking and putting it off just in case a good idea came to me, then today I finally decided 'Whatever, I'll just write the first thing that comes to mind'... And then the idea struck me. :3 *Phew* Finally... The Polo's muse returned.

Good luck with the maths! And with thinking up a reply! Unfortunately I didn't leave you too much to work with there. (I love that emoticon...) Anyway - thank goodness I managed to come up with something!! Can't wait for your reply, as always!! ))

((Haha! Well it was definitely worth waiting for.

Bleh, thanks :/ I have an RP posts's worth of analysis to do, and I have absolutely no idea what to write! D: If I don't appear tomorrow sometime after school, the teacher's slaughtered me. Either that, or my parents have... o.0
But hey, at least the actual RP post will be easier to write (Hopefully ). But for now, we'll stick to the lazy, short RP we seem to be slightly failing at at the moment XD))

((Yay!!! *Is proud* Haha! I think that was actually my first Polo-quality post in... I don't know how long!!

GAAAAH, that sounds awful!! Best of luck! And PLEASE don't get slaightered! You have to hang in there until our RP's 1 year anniversary!! Hehe!

Hey, I think we're doing okay. *Nodnod* ... Well, as far as 'short and lazy' goes, I know I'm doing okay... You may still be a little too epic! But I can't complain - that's why I enjoy RPing with you. XD Haha!))

((Nah, they're all epic, Polo. I don't care what you say I honestly, hand on heart, don't know how you manage to write so well. It all just seems to flow so nicely, I just don't get it 0.0

Bleh, it's just... Bleh I keep telling myself I've written loads, but in reality, I haven't. I've managed to double the amount I'd written before, now I'm skimming the 700 word mark, but I've spaced it out so much that it looks like more than it actually is.



All the windows are meant to be there, by the way And Lol! Don't worry, Polo. I'll try Kiechu on my maths teacher, then we'll see how quick her mathy brain can think

Ah, thank ya, Polokins ^_^ and yes, we are both doing amazing. It's just me continuously babbling It fails on a SHORT roleplay XD))

((Sorry, it's babbly. Don't worry about length, I'm just curious to see what sort of place his daddy owns... She has yet to find out, find the address, get there, get past whatever security shizz there is, and find the two of them before Kougu blasts his daddy's brains out XD))

The seconds dragged on painfully by before Kougu finally managed to speak.
“Oh...” he replied, looking almost as if someone had pinched him awake from a dream. “No… No, nothing for me – thank you. I’ve had quite enough to eat for one day.”
This made me snort in amusement. Okay, so he'd had breakfast, but I could have sworn that was at least twelve hours ago. He may not have been used to eating, but two slices of eggy bread were nothing, really, but something to keep him full for a few hours.
Yes, a few hours. Twelve, was not a few. It was a whole, entire day.
Okay, so maybe he – being him – couldn't recognise hunger when he was experiencing such a feeling, but a day was long enough to be going without food.
No, I decided, he hasn't had enough. He needs more food.
Well then, I'd have to find some way to persuade him to eat some more, wouldn't I?
My eyebrows twitched together slightly, but I could feel the smile creeping up on my face. “No you haven't.” I said softly, although the surprise was fairly obvious in my tone of voice. “Come on, I'll make you some. It's not much, but it's warm. You may not think you will, but believe me, you'll need it.”
If he wants to sleep, I thought to myself, which the odds were, he wouldn't anyway. But he was no longer in charge of his well-being, since he never gave a damn about it, anyway. I was, because it seemed I was the only who cared about him, therefore I would make it my responsibility to make sure he lived however long a life he had left as a happy, healthy man.

My thoughts were broken by a sudden twitch at the back of my neck, and by the time my eyes had met his, it was suddenly obvious that the obscure feeling had not come from nowhere. Kougu's touch burned away at my flesh, yet the bitterly cold, bloodless feeling from his fingers did nothing less than comfort me. That wasn't just any old touch, right there. That was Kougu's touch, and probably the only touch that could make me want to laugh, cry, shiver and fall asleep all at the same time. But when I studied his face a little longer, when I'd looked past the neutral line on his lips, I recognised something in his eyes...
I swear I'd seen that looks before...
His long fingers wrapped gently around near the top of my head, and slowly I felt my head be pulled towards his lips. The feeling of wonder evaporated completely.
I closed my eyes to enjoy the luxury of being so close to him, and readied my lips to be met by his. My heart lurched at the memory of the last time we'd kissed, the feeling of his body pressed so tightly against mine, the soft, warm smell of his skin radiating from his face...
And then there was that plea when he'd let me go, that begging for him not to leave me. There were the hundreds of thoughts thundering violently in my brain of what I'd done wrong, that I'd ruined whatever little chances I had of him expressing physically any sense of love to me whatsoever. I'd wanted him so desperately to kiss me again, and now, I was going to relive that moment.
Something soft was pressed against my forehead, and it took me a moment or two to realise that they were actually his lips.
My heart sank. But he wasn't done, yet.

His arms made their way down to my shoulders, then to the top of my back. Instinctively, I stepped towards him, completely forgetting about what he may do. For some reason, just this one time, I trusted him completely. For I knew, I just knew he could control himself. Yet not once did I stop and wonder why he was acting this way.
I rested my cheek gently on the base of his chest, curling my fists upwards and placing them beside my shoulders. I felt so engulfed by his sudden rush of body warmth, yet I didn't do so much as twitch. I pressed my face a little tighter against his shirt and enjoyed hearing the dull thud of his heartbeat once again beating at my eardrums.
Hug him...
No, no I couldn't risk it. Last time I'd tried to so much as wrap my arms around him, he freaked out. I wasn't going to ruin this moment, not for anything.
Hug him. Properly.
I clenched my jaw, shifting my face slightly against his chest. I wanted to, desperately. I craved the lust I felt towards him so much that it hurt. But the problem was, I was scared. So scared that he'd panic, then blame himself for his outburst. Despite his relaxed stance, I knew couldn't risk it. I just couldn't.
Yet, subconsciously I felt my hands slyly creep around his waist and link behind his back.
But Kougu didn't move.
He didn't even flinch.
“Be strong, Charlie. It will be okay.” His voice hummed almost like a lullaby in my ear, and my eyes slid closed at his words. I'll hold you, I thought to myself, scrunching my eyelids so tight it felt like my eyeballs were being pushed to the back of my head. I can't let you go. Not again. I won't... To my annoyance, tears were beginning to sting at my eyes, but because I had created such a strong barrier, they did nothing but linger over the lenses. I wasn't going to let myself cry, not again. It had been such a good day – to an extent. In fact, minus the minor problems, it had been great. I hadn't been threatened, nor had I been hurt. Neither had Kougu. Plus, I hadn't seen a gun in over twenty-four hours.
So it was all good.
I had nothing to cry about.
“She's got you.”
Oh, so this was all about my mother? Okay, not quite what I had in mind, but I was grateful for his concern.
“Thanks.” I mumbled, opening my eyes and raising my chin to gaze up at him, the backs of my eyes aching slightly. Not that I really cared, much. “Really, thank you. But I'm alright, I promise.” I gave him a small, but perfectly honest smile.
Then he pulled back.

The physical contact still hadn't vanished completely, but I would have been lying if I'd said it was anywhere near as heavenly as it had been before. All the peace from Kougu's eyes had morphed into a cheerful, slightly cheeky spark that made me wonder whether the last few minutes had even happened. He'd gotten over that a little bit quick...
“Right!” Okay, he was changing the subject. I might want to buckle up and prepare for this...
“I'm going to have a shower now...” Wait a minute, so he wasn't going to eat anything? Over my dead body, I thought stubbornly.
“So I’ll see you later if you’re still awake.” Oh, don't worry, I will be. I will be until I've seen you lick your bowl clean.
“Enjoy your cereal!”
Skiver.

I watched him scuttle to his room without another word, and I was left standing by the kitchen doorway, staring aimlessly across the room, a quizzical frown on my face. I had almost no idea what had just happened...
Ping.
I almost jumped out of my skin as the microwave bell chimed sharply from the other end of the kitchen, signaling to me that my meal was ready. Although it wasn't actually my meal...
Oh, what the hell. By the time Kougu was done, it would probably have gone cold. I shrugged to myself, opened the door and dragged the bowl onto the chopping board. The steaming, grey mush would probably have looked repulsive to anyone else, but I was used to it. I retrieved a bottle of golden syrup from the lower cupboard, squeezed out a dollop into the centre and mixed it in. Satisfied, I scooped the warm bowl in my hands and wandered back into the living room, curling back up on the sofa and began eating my supper.

It wasn't until I'd finished eating that I realised Kougu still hadn't emerged from the bathroom, and soon I was beginning to wonder if he was alright. Concerned, I stood up, picking up mum's bowl as I made my way to the kitchen and stacked both into the dishwasher. I then closed the flap and made my way to his room to see if he was still there.
Empty.
I then wandered to the bathroom, where the door was still firmly closed. Although there was no apparent movement, I decided it best that I waited to see if he was in a talking mood before storming in on him without actually knocking first.
And that was exactly what I did.
“Kougu?” I asked, tapping lightly with my knuckle on the door. “Hey, it's me. I... I've done you some cereal. I know you said you didn't want any, but I just want you to have a bit before you go to bed. Can I come in?”
Silence.
“Kougu... Come on. You have to eat, and you know it. A couple of slices of eggy bread is enough to make you last six hours, but not a full day.” And the short silence, I sighed and rested my shoulder on the wall beside me. “I know you may not feel hungry, but I promise it'll be worth it. It's warm, so you might like it. It's not strong, or anything. Kougu?”
Again, no answer. I frowned.
“If you're really not hungry, I can make you a drink. Something warm. Tea? Coffee? Hot water? I don't mind, I promise. It's no bother. Just...”
Pause.
“Are you okay? Kougu?” He should have answered the door by now. What was wrong? Why wasn't he answering? I wrapped my fingers around the door knob, hesitant to open it. Perhaps he was getting changed, but he would have answered if he was. “Kougu, please let me in. Are you alright?” I turned the knob and pressed my body against the door, hoping that it would open obediently at my grasp. But to no avail.
Locked.
“Kougu...” I began to shake the door desperately, trying harder and harder to get the damn thing to open. “Let. Me. In... Please...” Panicked, I rested my forehead up against the polished wood, scrunching my eyes closed. Why had he locked it? What was he hiding?
Was he even there?
There was a light, metallic tapping as the lock loosened itself on the other end of the door, and it took no more than a a few furious attempts to rip the door down that the latch slid aside and the door swung open.

I ran into the room, expecting to find his body laying lifeless by the bathroom floor. To my relief, I saw nothing. But nor did I see him.
At all.
My eyes darted around the empty room, studying the still damp shower cubicle, the condensation fogging up the surrounding mirrors. The water had cooled into delicate droplets which left wet trails, like tears, down the shiny glass surfaces. The shower head still leaked minor amounts of warm water, and there were faint traces of bare footprints around the tiled floor. I stepped towards the neatly folded towel over the toilet seat and grasped it in one hand.
Still damp.
He hadn't been gone for long.
I then turned round on my heel, placing the towel silently back on the dripping porcelain and studied the rest of the room for clues. A hair dryer sat, plugged in at the mains, at the corner. Beside that, sat a thin-toothed comb. He brushes his hair?! I thought to myself silently, when a icy breeze wafted through my baggy clothes. That was a bit odd, when Kougu had supposedly just had a boiling shower. Movement to my right caught my eye, and I rotated round to see the curtains wafting in the strong, night air. There, hidden behind them, was an open window.
Open enough for someone to climb out of....
I leapt forward, stumbling over a stray box on my way, but I ignored it. I stopped right by the window, leaning over the window pane and peering out into the street.
The night was as peaceful as any night, and would have remained that was had I been in a different situation. But now panic was wrenching at my heart so roughly that it felt like it was about to break out from my rib cage, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Kougu was gone, and a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach told me that he hadn't just gone for an evening stroll.
“Kougu?” I screamed out into the darkness, the wind pushing my hair away from my face. “Kougu!”
But he was gone.
And I had a feeling I knew where.