Dottie and Polo

Here's the RP... *hides* You may need to start, what with me being me and all...

And I'll decide what character to use after chatting to you a bit more - and seeing which you will use.

((Haha, I was going to make the post, but fine whatever I will have to cope. *Dramatic head throw back* I shall intertwine the creation of my character into the plot.. This is going to be short.. I cursed my self when speaking to Ghosteh *nods*))

Ria let her sickly blue eyelids flicker open briefly allowing only a fraction of the outside detail to enter her mind, and she thought to her self: Please don't let it be true,please oh please!. However she had a gut feeling from the sickly, sickening light that it was all true. Ria, spun around in her sheets, entangling her small, beaten up in them, her forehead rested against a warm, wet pillow- wet with sweat, and the hope for a cool surface to cool her throbbing mind down frittered away. Wearily, but with great frustration she brought her hands up to meet her head and let her fingers skid through her short messy mahogany hair was not like its usual well kept, soft self, it was clinging together from a repelling mix of sweat and grease, leaving her feeling even sicker. She hated feeling dirty, ever since she was a little girl she had been meticulously neat and hygienic, she felt alien to her self and she fretted life would be like this for ever. Suddenly she herd it, her night mare, a ruffle of a sheets and then the crying screams- a young innocent. Ria wanted to get up, but all her energy was focused on not breaking down into desperate sobs of desperation; luckily, the door clicked and she heard the hurried, but slipper muffled foot steps of a midwife coming in to cater for the useless lump that lay in a cot at the foot of Ria bed. The next thing Ria remembered was the soothing hushing tones of the mid wifes voice before she joined her baby in falling to sleep.

Ria awoke, this time letting her eyes open and stay open, allowing the room to absorb into her, the meaty plant sat sadly in the corner of the room, neglect starting to bit away in the form of dried, brown edges and the window letting in the midweek sunlight which landed perfectly on bother Ria's bed and the cot. Ria twisted herself out her bed, pain shooting through her, labour had not been easy with this one, she wished she had taken the drugs offered to her, she wished the labor had lasted a day, rather than two, but no. Life had dealt her her card and she chose to up the stakes rather than flop out, yet here she was- A bigger looser as life called her on her bluff. She timidly raised up and hobbled like a cow boy to the child and stared down at it- It was her daughter alright she had the same unchanging brown eyes that shone a fighting spirit and the same face shape, or she assumed, it looked like her own baby photos a cute over weight heart of a face shape, the only difference was the nose, that was the nose of her father. The college student who couldn't deal with the burden of knocking up a 16year old girl, so ran off with soem blonde bimbo. Ria felt a jolt of pain shoot through her. She had given him everything, she thought they were meant to be, a tear rolled down her face and landed on the soft delicate reddened skin of the child, and a pang shot through Ria's heart. She needed to get a good education, and this was a burden, that tore her in two, a love that she couldn't describe and a burning hate and jealousy for what she caused and the man she would forever be connected with at some level. Ria went back to bed and closed her eyes, should she giver her up?

Kougu lay on the damp grass staring up at the sky above him. He blinked in vague bewilderment - the last stars left in the breaking dawn reflected as sparkling pinpricks of light in his dark, midnight-blue eyes. The grass beneath him felt prickly against his bare arms, and a chill crept into his bones from his damp clothes. The offending dew drops glimmered innocently all about him - clinging to the blades of grass with their moist grips. Kougu slowly clenched his left hand into a fist, capturing a handful of delicate grass blades in his palm. His fingernails dug into the damp earth as he clutched his little handful of reality. So it was true... He really was here. He could see, he could move and he could feel - so this obviously was not a dream. He was here - but where was here? Kougu slowly turned his shaggy head to glance around at what he could make out of his surroundings from his low-down position, and in the dim pre-dawn light. From what he could see, he deduced that he was lying on a grassy verge next to a pavement on an apparently unfamiliar road - though he was not familiar with much any more anyway, besides his own house, and even that he tended to forget at times... The house. Why wasn't he there? He was not supposed to leave... Not ever. More importantly, if he wasn't there, why was he here - and why had he only just woken up? Surely he hadn't been sleeping...? No - that was simply illogical. Feeling a sudden urge to evaluate his situation, Kougu slowly pushed himself into a sitting position. As his upper-body reached a 90 degree angle to the ground, Kougu felt pain knife through his head. A soft groan escaped his lips as he raised his hands and clutched at it - his fingernails digging into his temples as he held his own skull so tightly one could have sworn he was trying to crush it. As the initial rush of pain subsided, Kougu slowly released his clenched jaw - encouraged by an ominous cracking sound from one of his back teeth - and lowered his hands again. He winced as another particularly painful throb coursed through his brain - but then the pain relented, and he was able to think clearly once more. Night was slowly bleeding into day now, and a soft ashen light was blanketing the earth. It was so beautiful that he could just lose himself in it... Kougu's eyes slowly began to slide out of focus, and his tense shoulders slumped - leaving him limp and floppy in relaxation. Wait... No! What was he doing? Kougu tensed again instantly and shook his head in slight irritation. Stalling, or avoiding having to solve this mystery, was certainly not going to help his predicament - whatever it was. Slowly, very slowly, Kougu pushed himself to his feet - using a lamp post beside him to steady himself. Finally, he reached his towering height - his tall, willowy figure looking like a pale miniature copy of the lamp post beside him. His skin was so pale that it was almost white. This, combined with the deep, dark circles under his eyes, made him seem distinctly unwell. Kougu swayed slightly where he stood - his eyes fixed on his bare feet, which shone like snowy beacons against the dark grass underfoot. When balance finally returned to him, Kougu released the lamp post and raised one hand to scratch his head. His fingers vanished amongst dark, glossy strands of his messy black hair. It stuck up in every direction - made all the worse by his time spent lying on the wet grass. Kougu glanced up at the lamp post, then - staring right to the top. He thought for a moment, then looked toward the flattened patch of grass where he had been lying a moment before. Putting two and two together, Kougu raised a hand to his head to check his theory. He rubbed his forehead, then lowered his hand as pain bolted through his skull. He disregarded it - staring instead at the pale, long fingered hand before him. As he had expected, flakes of dried blood clung to his fingers. Well, that was one mystery solved... Kougu let his dark eyes dart to the lamp post beside him - the one he now realized had been the cause of his losing consciousness... Though he supposed it had really been his own fault for waking into it. Still, that didn't answer his most important question... Why had he been out here in the first place?

Ria awoke once again, and she let her hands flop off either side of the bed, and allowed her bony fingers to stretch in all directions, then she focused them into clinging onto the the off white mattress, her nails pressing against her raw fingertips, her sweat appearing to ooze out of the unique trails of her finger prints. She wanted to stay in this torturous deadened state forever, she couldn't cope with going anywhere else. Once again, she allowed her eyes to flick open, and she was shocked to meet the sight of Dr Rynman, a plump, red faced looking man, who looked somewhat reminiscent of an over grown dwarf who had slashed off his beard with his axe leaving a awkward ad untidy looking length, Ria swore that if she ever saw him in the outside world, minus the white coat, she would of assumed him to be a homeless man who managed to find a way to keep the dirt from piling on. He lent over here smiling like a stupid clown, whilst his eyes contradicted that and seemed a stern, metal grey that was ready to drop the most awful news with out losing a minuet of sleep over it- it was eyes of a man who had discovered a liking to delivering bad news and Ria didn't like that. She eyed him for a moment her thoughts entwirling possible bad news, when the silence became a pestering bug to her and she final swatted at it with words that came out much more ferocious sounding than she had intended "What are you doing here? You didn't deliver my child. What business do you have here intruding on my time to rest?" She quickly softened her tone "I am rather tired and I would prefer to be left to rest-" She cu her self off before she said 'in peace', death was the last thing she wanted thrown in the air. "So unless it is of the utmost importance, please may you go."
"Well Miss Lang" He lent back, allowing Ria to feel a lot less intruded upon, then he continued in a frank and bored voice "He has been taken sick, so I was called to check in on you and your child, after all I treated you before" He paused to let his eyes drag up and down over Ria body, causing her to shuffle back and deeper in her sheets, she didn't want to remember, not now at least. "And since the area of expertise has been dealt with-" Another meaty look from him caused Ria to feel like the small innocent 14 year old girl from that fateful day "the rest is pretty basic. I just came in here to check in on the two of you." He slid his feet to face the direction of the crib, and took a small closening step forward, and went to put his hand down in the crib when Ria was out the bed like a shot and screamed "Don't you touch her" and shoved at his pot belly stomach, to distract him then her childish defenses kicked in and she opened her mouth and sunk her teeth into the sun aged skin of his arm. Suddenly, Ria brought herself back to her senses, she had over reacted, but who would believe why. They would believe the respected doctor, not the 'trampy' just had a kid at 16 school girl. Ria let out a gasp of realisation, which was then quickly followed by the grabbing of her wrists by Dr Rynman who then lent in and spat silently "Don't try that again you little slut. Or I will make sure that child lives with me, and I will treat her the same way I treated her mother that day. As for you, you will face prison my dear, I can make sure of it" At the thought of loosing her child Ria's mind slipped, the energy she had stored up from all her sleep yet couldn't find the key for seemed to break free of its locks and bundle out in a attempt of freedom. Franticly, she twisted her wrists free, and spat into his eyes and grabbed the metal clock which had being gently lulling her to sleep so well, now it was going to force him to sleep, she struck it hard across his head, blood didn't splatter, but it stained the clock in a sickly manner. Instinctively, Ria reached for her nameless Jem and sprinted out the door, ignoring the shooting pain that was spreading through her body, she looked back, beads of sweat flew to the ground through the sudden motion, but her attention was not directed at that but the increasing number of medical staff who were chasing after her- who said night shifts were next to empty? She slammed into the elevator and pressed down, she clutched the now awake child against her chest, copying the soothing tones the mid wife had uttered earlier. Ria's breathing heaved with all the stress of both memories and current events- why could she not escape anything? No. She refused to admit that, she would escape this- this hospital. The elevators opened and she was out like a shot, a person snatched at her night gown, but their grip was loose and as a result didn't keep hold of it for long, allowing Ria a clear run to the door which she feared would be blocked any moment now. Ria slipped through the doors and kissed her child on the head as the air touched her skin for the first time and embraced Ria as a mother for the first time, still Ria didn't stop, she needed to get far away- for the sake of her child. No way was she giving her up- that was clear now.

Suddenly - shouting voices caught Kougu's attention, and his head whipped around so fast that his neck cricked painfully. Kougu ignored this - staring in near-trembling attentiveness as the flurry of action in the distance. His sight was still hazy and he could barely make out what was going on, but one thing was certain: There were people there, lots of them, which meant that was his cue to get away - and quickly! Kougu took a few hurried steps back away from the lamp post, but then his foot caught on a loose cump of grass and he stumbled. Catching himself at just the right moment - Kougu rightened himself, then felt his head jerk around again as a distant shout reached his ears. His eyes darted to the hospital building this time, and he slowly took it all in. It was white... Too white, and it simply seemed to stretch on forever. The little windows dotted it in a uniform pattern - seeming like specks of darkness on the pale surface, with the exception of the few that already showed lights shining within, even at this early hour. These windows emitted a pale yellow glow that gleamed even brighter than the white walls surrounding them. The hospital seemed vaguely familiar... Yet he could not remember ever having been there. Still, somehow, its presence made him feel uneasy. He let his eyes travel downwards again - to find that all the commotion had now neared him enough for him to see what was happening. At first this thought simply made him panic, and in that instant Kougu tensed to turn tail and run - but then his curiosity piqued as he noticed the figure running in front. It was difficult to tell at the distance, but he was relatively certain that she was a woman - a small one in fact... Perhaps no more than a girl. She clutched some sort of bundle in her arms - holding it close to her chest as she ran. Why was she running...? Why were they chasing her...? Her nightgown was flapping around her ankles with each step - and the way she moved so awkwardly made him fear she might trip. She was obviously in pain, or exhausted, or both: Most likely both, since she had apparently just escaped from a hospital... But why were they chasing her?! The fools could be the death of her - making her dash around like this in the icy early morning air - weak as she seemed. Life was a fragile thing - too fragile, and too delicate. One could be robbed of it in the blink of an eye, and then it was too late... Too late for anything. Why couldn't they undestand that?
Kougu let his gaze shift to the girl again. She was getting closer now - and he could definitely tell that she was in fact a teenage girl, as he had suspected. He still couldn't work out what was hidden in that bundle of blankets she held, but at that time he did not particularly care. He could hear her ragged breathing now and he could sense the desperation with which he fled - and suddenly Kougu could take it no longer. All notions of fleeing back home vanished as his protective instinct kicked in, and Kougu made a rapid decision. He couldn't stand back and see somebody treated like this. It was wrong, it was cruel and it was downright dangerous! He had to do something... He was being a fool, and he knew it, but he had to do something.
Shaking off his thoughts, Kougu glanced briskly around - looking for a safe place to hide and take refuge. Thankfully, the girl still had quite a lead on the hospital staff chasing her... If he calculated this perfectly - perhaps he would have a chance. First things first: He had to get around the next corner... In that one split second before her pursuers followed around the bend - he could make her disappear... Or so he hoped. Though realisticaly thinking, se'd have to be a fool to trust him... Then again, there was a fine line between desperation and foolishness at times.
Breaking free of his thoughts - Kougu made a quick, silent dash for the corner - rounding it even as the roar of voices in his ears grew louder. His eyes darted around the new street - but all he saw was darkness. The buildings on either side towered high into the sky - nearly blocking out what little light there was. Kougu waited impatiently as his eyes adjusted to the gloom, then began feeling his way around. His fingers slid rapidly over the cold, rough surface of the bricks - feeling each crack and gap. Then, suddenly, the bricks fell away and his fingers closed on air. Exactly what he had been hoping to find: An alleyway. Small and dark, but near undetectable - or so he hoped. Kougu crouched there, waiting for the girl to appear and silently berating himself for his own foolishness. "Must be mad..." He muttered softly to himself, shaking his head in disbelief. This was cazy... Totally crazy! But he couldn't just sit there and do nothing - his conscience wouldn't allow it. Kougu's thoughts were violently shattered then as a figure flew around the corner. He remained still and calm as she neared him - not wanting to startle her - and spoke in a low, gentle tone. "In here. I'll help you."

((Sorry for the long time to respond!))

Ria was feeling in a state of despair, she couldn't believe what she had just done! She felt so foolish. The more she thought over the incident the more she realised how she over reacted, and now, had put her child in much more danger than the situation she had just rejected from Ria's own suspicious and thoughtless actions. Ria heard the shouts reverberate around her fromt he gathering hospital staff, she could make out the occasional word or phrase such as "Blood!" or "lying there" and even "attempted murder", but the one clear thing she kept on hearing was "Get her!". Much to Ria's surprise it wasn't the words directed at her that scared her the most, though they were of course a truly mind numbing thought, but her body pricked with alarm at the sounds of "Get that child back safe to us!", it was those words that forced her aching body to force it's clumsy self forwards. Ria had no idea where she was going, she even had the briefest of thoughts to stop and let them take her, but the thought of the loss of her child willed her to carry on. Never had Ria thought she would be in a situation like this, she had always had a clear cut plan. A twinkling tear rolled down the elegant bone structure of her face and landed upon her baby girl. Ria remembered, before that day when she met Dr Rynman- the days of innocence and academic perfection. Ria had to admit, she was still doing a lot better than most in her class, maintaining a grade collecting from B's to A*'s with little effort, but before that day she was entirely education focused where to get an A was considered a poor effort on her part, alas those days were gone. Still Ria hoped now, that despite this childs hard start in life she would have a dream, a goal, and Ria would help her stick to it and do everything she could to get her to achieve that aspiration. Once again Ria pulled the bundle of innocence closer to her, but this time she crooked her head down towards the childs, and kissed her on the forehead, the child's eyes store back at her with a big beautiful smile, this child had a old soul, older than Ria's, she could tell this, and she couldn't let this soul be passed onto a life different to the one it chose. A lump developed in Ria's throat, she couldn't believe the emotional attachment she had so quickly found inking her to this lump of flesh and bone. Ria would easily giver her own life to protect her child. Still, as her legs stammered on, she felt an over whelming tiredness, she knew she couldn't go on, and the safest thing she could do for the child would be to hide but where? Ria remembered there was an old warehouse a few blocks down, she remembered when she was the tender and unpolluted age of 12, she would wriggle through a gap, which was a tight fit then let alone now, that had led into a doorless and windowless room, the structure she distinctively remembered as a mottled red brick room, with wooden beams supporting a long since used and terribly neglected candle chandelier, and based in the wall was a warped wooden frame that Ria had always assumed used to be the door, and based in the corner was a beautiful desk, which never had enough light on it for her to see it's colour, but the texture was smooth but with slight areas or roughness, like polished oak, and opposite the grand desk was a large leather chair; She had always wondered why this room in the factory had been sealed off, but at the time was grateful as it sheltered the stray tabby cat and her litter of fluffy kittens, and now it would house Ria and her beautiful angel baby. Ria pulled the baby to her heart again, feeling happy at her new clear cut plan, despite the fact it was only a short term solution, she was determined to follow through. At this thought, a fresh supply of fighting energy let her pick up some speed, and she powered her beaten body around the corner only to be met with a steady and calm voice speaking "In here. I'll help you". Ria, would of normally in a sane state of mind, or any state of mind ignored it and altered her direction to defer a meeting with anyone who might harm her or the child, but once again the unreasonable instincts took over and she headed towards the direction of the voice, with rattled breathe and aching limbs she mindlessly stop and wheezed in a decibel that was barely there "Who are you? No... Help me.. Please!" and with that her body broke down and she let her self slump against the closest surface, she couldn't figure out whether it was a wall or a tip, her brain wasn't functioning and her muscles felt they were about to implode on themselves. She store at the tall, imposing figure that stood before her, yet that was all her mind could absorb as her eyes were blurring over and he was a simple dark blurred tall shape to her; more the reason to be terrified and run away- yet she didn't she stood there waiting for a response. The cool surface she lent against reminded her of the lack of one on the pillow back int he hospital, it was lovely and numbing, yet it didn't provide the false comfort the hospital had and she wished this had never happened, she wished none of it had ever happened but it had, and now here she was, staring at a figure that could easily knock her down and out of thought with one strong swoop of their arm and take her child from her, regretting every decision she had made up to this point in life- yet she also felt a strange contrasted terrified comfort radiating off this person stood before her, that combined with the lack of energy to run she stood there like a clueless lemming waiting and hoping her instincts had led her to a sanctuary rather than a death trap.

As the girl staggered to a standstill before him – Kougu felt a sickening lurch in his stomach. Some twisted mix of relief and trepidation coursed through his veins as he realized that his attempts had succeeded, and that he would now have a chance, albeit a slim one, at helping this girl – whatever was wrong with her. He had to admit – that thought pleased him greatly, but on the other hand, what the hell was he thinking?! Yes, that was more like it. Of course he should never have risked this! Obviously this was a foolish think to do! Had he learned nothing over the years? One would think that after he had repeated the same mistake what felt like nigh on a thousand times – he would at least have the sense not to make that particular mistake again. Yet alas, here he was: Once again banking on the unreliable hope that this time things would be different… That, just this once, he might have done the right thing. Yes, he had been a fool to try this, but it was too late to turn back now. The girl was standing before him now, and by the looks of her: The subtle hope his offer had given her had robbed her of all resolve, and she now seemed as limp and helpless as a deboned fish – with the exception of the arm clutching that mysterious bundle. The grip of that arm remained protectively tight and powerful – clearly demonstrating that she meant to let no harm befall that precious bundle… Whatever it was. He had a suspicion… But he preferred not to think on it, for fear it might set him off again… If he so much as thought about what had happened that night, the pain was unbearable. It was all in his head, he knew that, but that didn’t make it any less real to him, and since he was the one feeling it anyway, what the hell did it matter what the others thought?! If they could feel it – They’d think it was real, too… But who were ‘they’ anyway? He had been keeping to himself for so long now that his web of memories was unraveling and gradually becoming tangled and useless. If only he could forget… Forget what had happened all those years ago – or better still, erase it completely. If he could just rewind time… But wait – he had been through all this before: It was impossible. No matter how sorry he was, he could never take it back. Never.
Kougu forced his thoughts back to the present then – instantly facing the uncomfortable realization that the entire time he had been lost in thought, his dark eyes had been fixed upon that innocent bundle in the girl’s arms – staring blankly at it. He quickly blinked his eyes into focus and shook his head, then looked pointedly away from what he could no longer deny he knew to be a human child. He had let his thoughts wander just as he had ordered himself not to do anyway, so there was no point denying the obvious knowledge, but there was no reason he could not feign ignorance. If he ignored it well enough – it would cease to exist in his mind. He wouldn’t accept any reality that might be dangerous to his fragile grip on his own sanity. Kougu’s tongue darted nervously over his lips, and he turned to stare at the opposite wall – shrinking away into the deeper shadows, for he felt somewhat calmer under cover of darkness. He kept an abnormally large distance between himself and the girl at all times – almost as though he feared she might attack him, and wanted to give himself a chance to get away. In reality, it was so much more complex than it appeared… And nobody would ever understand. They could never understand, for he would not allow it. Yes – he could not be around people. He simply couldn’t… That was why he never left the house. That was why he stayed there day after day and night after night – cooped up within those spotless white walls with naught but nightmares and memories for company… And empty picture frames haunting his mind. Yes, there was indeed a very good reason he could never leave that house, and a number of even better reasons for him not to be doing exactly what he had doing at that moment: Attempting to help this stranger – and for a reason he did not understand, if indeed there was any reason at all.

Swallowing a growl of frustration at his own inattentiveness, Kougu forced his thoughts aside and refocused his mind on the present with a Herculean effort. The girl’s words from before washed briefly through his thoughts then – tickling his memory and reminding him that he was still obliged to reply. "Who are you? No... Help me.. Please!" Feeling a stab of sympathy at the girl’s words, Kougu quickly prepared himself to answer, only to find that he had no words upon his tongue. Struck by sudden nervousness, he scrambled backward deeper into the shadowy alleyway – then gulped back his incomprehensible fear and managed to calm himself enough to choke out a reply. “My identity is of little importance.” Kougu replied simply, his quiet words leaving his lips in an unexpectedly calm and gentle tone which sharply contrasted his nervous actions of a moment before. “You’re fine now.” He soothed comfortingly, “You need only quieten your voice and remain stationary. They ought to be gone shortly.” His dark blue eyes flickered back to the gloomy street then as he heard the sound of swiftly approaching yells. He doubted they would look here… He expected them to simply dash on by, but would they? Would things run that smoothly…? He certainly hoped so. After all – he was supposed to be isolated. Alone. Until such time as he could get back to the house, he ought to avoid people to the fullest extent of his capabilities. Unfortunately, he had already made one major slip-up… He glanced toward the girl then, and – upon seeing her gaunt, exhausted face – he felt his emotionless expression soften slightly with a mixture of pity and sympathy so closely intertwined that he wondered vaguely if there was indeed a definite difference between the two. His own problems were momentarily forgotten in his concern for this pitiful creature beside him, and Kougu felt once again the unwelcome protective desire to attempt to ease her suffering, somehow. Again… Again he was doing this? Foolish, foolish, foolish! But he couldn’t help it. It was ironic, really… His soft heart might have been the most dangerous thing about him… “Would you like to tell me your name?” Kougu prompted gently, glancing toward the girl again and watching her under cover of darkness. It was difficult to summon the words – yet he had managed all the same, hoping that perhaps the distraction of conversation might put her at ease until such time as the danger had passed. The tension and suspense was even exhausting him – and she certainly didn’t look like she needed any more of that. Then again, what was stressing him out more than anything was the simple fact that he knew what he was doing was wrong… Too risky… Too dangerous… But it was only for a short while. That would be fine, right? It wasn’t like he’d be trapped there very long… Just until the girl’s pursuers had passed. He could definitely handle that… He would make sure he could handle that.

Ria's eyes, she wished she could say, were wild with fear, but the truth was she was terrified, yet so dead on her long stocky legs that she simply couldn't muster her her eyelid muscles to hold her eyes wide open, instead they drooped drearily, so her long eyelashes made her line and sight even less clear as they blurred her already blurry vision. She looked down at her child and saw such a beautiful thing- and she didn't even have a name for her. Faultily, Ria gently shifted her bundle of love into one arm for a brief period of time as to wipe the sweat, which was threatening to sting her eyes, away and ruffle her short mop of hair as to make it cling less to her head. Carefully, Ria then brought her arm back to cradle her precious child. She only had a hazy memory of the birth, despite taking the natural route she had taken, the pain had suffocated the breathe to her memory, yet what she could remember was curiously sweet, intertwined with the crippling pain of course, yet sweet, she knew she was doing something amazing- producing life. The beads of sweat that never stopped rolling around her body and face, the never stopping contractions, all of it, every last bit, felt like a test or a right of passage, and here was her certificate of passing, and she could never hope for anything better, yet still the course could be continued for a better chance in the future- college, university and a job. Ria was tending the wreckage of stress, drained energy and pure pain as tenderly as she could when, she once again snapped her self to the present at the realisation of a possible threat lurking a few meters away from her in the shadows. She forced her mind and body to regroup, and she gave the shape a quick inspection; The shape was big as she had previously noticed, and the typical V shaped male body backed up the persons masculine voice- he was male. Other more basic describing features were hidden from her view from the blurry eyesight her minds eye was projecting and the fact he was back in the shadows, which in it's self was suspicious enough for Ria. Not only was the lurking in the shadows suspicious to her, but she had observed the way he was shifting, she assumed this either meant he was uncomfortable in this situation or he was a danger to her and her child. Thoughtfully Ria deduced the most reasonable out of those two, which proved to be a great difficulty as her protective unreasonable mind kept screaming at her: Danger needs to logic! Stop weighing this up and run, get away! To the warehouse like you originally planned.. He is a danger! yet she thought, the sound of his voice had sounded soothing and the way he shifted didn't seem jumpy, but more like a young child preparing to go to their first school play, at that Ria thought: Great! I am officially a Mother, my mind is all about kids now.. and once again her mind wondered off track. She considered all her actions since birth, had many more of her traits and habits changed since motherhood had embraced her? Ria, concluded to herself that this was technically unanswerable as this situation was unusual to her, not unique, but not her usual day to day life. Ria, once again forced herself to come back to the present and with out thinking, she fumbled her feet around the floor, in an attempt to re balance herself in case she would need a quick get away. All of a sudden Ria heard the voice speak “My identity is of little importance.” the tone was like before easy going, calm and collected, it reassured her that he wasn't about to attack her and her body began to copy the tone of his voice and relax a little bit more at the shoulders, he continued speaking as he said, “You’re fine now. You need only quieten your voice and remain stationary. They ought to be gone shortly” Then once again her body tensed up. Was he going to turn her in? They thought she had attempted to murder a man, she then realised she didn't even know what her intentions for his life were when she had attacked him. There was no way they wouldn't check every where they could, and her run was no gallant gallop for freedom, it was a clumsy run of a toddler finding their legs- they had to be reasonably close to her, no way would she of been able to outrun them, and they would know that and search for the nearest areas, this place was not as hidden as her room at the warehouse- why did she stop? She eyed the shadowy figure her bubbling suspicions beginning to burn, why wouldn't he give his name? And here he was not trying to help her, but stalled and suspend her escape leaving her stationary and a easy target. No, he wasn't to be trusted. Ria had not realised at the time that he most likely had no clue what and happened, why is happened, to whom it happened and why she was running- the fear had clouded her thought process in a hazy smog. She contemplated the idea of escaping to the warehouse, but this guy looked big, he looked like he could catch and pin her down with in three seconds- but who cared? It was worth a try. Manically, Ria looked around, she had two choices on how to escape, the way she entered, which she assumed was now littered with hospital staff, and possibly police, or the other way which if her memory served her correctly was a longer and more windy route to the warehouse, but it had lots of dark areas to hide. She then remembered her child she was clinging to so desperately, if she was to push past this guy she would have to use both hands, she was too small to push past him with one. Ria felt like etting out a desperate cry, when he spoke again in that comforting tone of voice and said “Would you like to tell me your name?”. At this Ria quickly deducted a small, and meager plan, he didn't know of her suspicions she assumed, so she could simply act the dumb bewildered fool she must appear, and if she was being perfectly honest with her self, felt like too. So Ria turned to him and mustered the strength to go wide eyed and stammer out a sentence "I better not... I just needed to stop. I really should be going, I need to meet my-" she broke off for a brief moment, and gasped to breath in an hope to disguise her moment of name calculation "Aunt Linda's house. I really have to go, thank you." She was about to leave it there, but even those words sounded pretty meek and not too concluding to herself, so Ria thoughtfully added "Oh and I'd be careful, there seems to be some stuff going down at the hospital- best to stay out their way." She couldn't believe she said some stuff going down, that wouldn't of been the use of phrasing in her everyday sentences, it just showed her how badly she felt the need to escape and how she would play a character to do so- all in all she felt urged to continue. And with that she uneasily picked her body away form the wall, stumbling at one point and nearly falling flat on her face, but somehow the knowledge that in doing that she would squash her baby in doing so, she developed cat like reflexes and quickly rescued her self and carried on forwards, her body aching, and her spine curving to show a obvious hunch. She could tell she looked a mess and assumed hse hadn't helped much in backing up her words and story, yet still she continued, trooping on as much as her body allowed her slowly approaching the shadowy figure dreading having to slip past him and fearing the outcome if he had not taken to kindly to her story and stopped her by any means possible- fear echoed in the hollow hallways that now filled her mind, reverberating off the locked doors containing ideas and common logic.


((Man I got carried away a bit there 0.0 New longest post (; Also, feel free to do minor power playing here if you need to- just nothing drastic ))

((I WILL post on this! Look at me motivating myself to post! *does motivation dance* I may just have to do a short one for now Dottster, but I promise to redeem myself at a later stage...))

((Haha, that is fine (: I just did a pretty long reply somewhere else so I probably woouldn't be able to respond with anything epically long myself ))

At the girl’s words, Kougu simply nodded in acceptance and turned away – glad and desperately relieved to have been given such a convenient escape. He was not obliged to help this girl, much as he had wanted to, and perhaps still did want to… But if she didn’t want his help, which was probably a wise decision on her part, then he did not have to help her. He could just saunter off back to his empty house where he was alone, isolated, and where everything was safe. That was where he should have been. Not out here, getting in the way and becoming the cause of potential trouble… He should have been locked away in his own personal prison, self-assigned, of course – yet usually inescapable all the same… Until now. Why he had decided to risk going out, or where he had been going, Kougu was not sure, but he did know this: It had been absolutely rotten luck of his that he had noticed all this drama… For even from the first step away from the girl that he had taken, he had known that he was not being sincere. With every step, he felt more and more the pressure to go back and to tug her out of the quicksand-like situation she had got herself into. Heaving an irritable sigh, Kougu came to a standstill. As he had expected all along, his conscience simply would not allow him to just leave her there at the mercy of her pursuers and wander casually away as though nothing had ever happened. He would know that they would be after her, and the prospect of them catching her, and whatever it was that she feared coming to pass because he had left her there, would haunt him for ever. There was no escape… If he stayed, he would feel guilty for breaking his oaths to himself, very important oaths, and for taking a foolish risk… If he left, he would go into a complete shame spiral over the girl’s fate – whoever the hell she was, anyway. Not that it mattered… Introductions had never mattered much to him. A person would always be the same person, no matter what name one knew them as.
Kougu forced his thoughts aside then, and a soft chuckle escaped his lips as he turned back, shaking his head incredulously. He couldn’t do it, after all. He had known all along, really… Now that his thoughts were in focus, Kougu strode back over to the girl. He paused a short distance from her. Well, short for him – but long by the standards of most people. He tilted his head slightly to one side, observing her in a manner reminiscent of a curious puppy, then he spoke with a bemused tone that perfectly matched his actions. “If you are going to lie, you should try to do a better job of it.” Kougu informed her bluntly – the slightest shadow of a smile toying at his lips. “But for politeness’ sake, let’s say I believe it.” Kougu amended quickly – obviously under the impression that he was ‘sparing her feelings’ though accidentally subtly insulting her in the process: Typical of him. “Assuming ‘they’, while in search of said ‘stuff going down’ pursue you to ‘your Aunt Linda’s house’ – I do believe you will be in some sort of trouble. Else, correct me if I’m wrong, I believe you would not be running from them in the first place, much less becoming desperate enough in your desire to escape them that you would accept the help of a complete stranger.” Kougu stated this in an informative voice: quickly summing up the situation as though the entire thing was nothing more complicated, more real, nor more dangerous than a simple game of chess. “Forgive me, miss…” Kougu began politely, “But unless you feel like turning yourself in, I suggest you keep hiding, and don’t risk letting them see you again. It seems to me you need to rest, so I would advise you to stay here for the time being. If anybody comes looking for you, I can attempt to deflect them.” Kougu nodded briefly to her in formal acknowledgement, then hung back and waited – anticipating her response. His face was completely emotionless as he stood there – almost as though he wore an invisible mask upon it. And, though his intentions were not made clear, there was a strange sense of innocence about Kougu which, together with his gentility and generally unintimidating build, made him seem distinctly unthreatening, despite the fact that he was lurking around in shadowy alleyways, helping complete strangers for no foreseeable reason, and nurturing the sort of disheveled appearance of one who has spent the night lying on a patch of grass, rather than a warm bed. Yes, at first glance Kougu was not the best candidate for ‘trust’, but the more he showed of his kindhearted traits, the more one might be lead to believe that this boy would not hurt a fly. Or possibly, with such a scrawny build, that he could not. Either way: Kougu did indeed seem the harmless sort at second glance, yet in reality it was so much more complex than that… Everything was more complex than it seemed. That was why Kougu chose to block it all out, hide away from it all, and simply lose himself in a peaceful daydream. Every little thing in the world could be a gateway to a whole new life for him. A droplet of water on a flower, clouds in the sky, a reflection in a window… Each could allow him to enter a world in his imagination the likes of which others could scarcely imagine. There would be no pain, no suffering, no anger, no hatred… No reality. Nothing but serene peace and happiness that could not be touched. They were all so much kinder than the real world… He could lose himself in them for hours, only he had to keep reminding himself not to let it get too far… For he feared that if he ventured too far into his mind, he would lose himself and never come back… And that would leave him as naught but an empty shell: A complete basket case. No, he had to endure reality, whether he liked it or now… And at that moment in the world of reality, this strange girl and her ‘unnoticeable’ bundle were in trouble, and he felt inclined to help them out. Well, to help her out, since he refused to acknowledge the existence of something so potentially upsetting to him… It could be dangerous.

((*Smiles proudly at self* 1518 words I managed- I am flabbergasted at myself! My internet crashed so I had to do it on a program and then I just shocked myself (: It was poorly written, dreadfully written actually, but still, I did shock myself 0.o Another new record for me =D *Is happy*))

Ria felt a sway of relief as the man walked away, his foot steps echoed in her mind and left her feeling somewhat relaxed and, the protective grip she had formed around her child loosened. She slowly let her feet fall to the ground one after the other and waled in the opposite direction to the mysterious man, but as she did so her mind reeled over the fact he left with out a problem, why would he give up so easily if he intended harm towards her or her child, at this though Ria felt vulnerable and exposed, she was weak- pathetically so. No way could she protect her self, especially while clutching a child. Her child was tiny, so tiny, and Ria herself was no lankly lass, she was small her self, everyone seemed taler than her an she wasn't particularly strong, combined with her after-birth exhaustion she was a sitting duck- a bug on a pick-nik blanket, just waiting to be squashed with no hope of escape. At this though Ria felt like bursting into a fit of tears. She should of used the help offered to her, her suspicions were now a pointless lode of thoughts that were pureply emotionally based. Ria once again listened for the foot steps, she heard them, but they were faltering, slowing and second guessing like her own thoughts. At this her mind revved up again- was he coming back? Maybe he wasn't about to give up, he just needed to mull over his thoughts? Ria thought once again how to escape, she was small, small enough to hide out of sight, but she wondered to her self, where? Quickly, Ria spun her head around to see another tip, like the once she had being leaning against before, maybe she could hide in it, she looked down at her child- No. Perhaps, just by it in its deeply shadowed corner? Ria ran the idea in her head- no. Too easy to find her there, she flipped her chin up and calculated how long it would take her to escape this alley, and decided she could get out before he could catch up with her- or so he hoped- she was fast, but he could be just as faster, or faster she hadn't seen him run. Still, if she did manage she may have a shred of a chance to find a detour and get to the ld warehouse? Once again, Ria realised this was hopeless. Suddenly Ria's own foot steps faltered- They faltered as they were the only ones she could hear interlaced with the shouts of her hunters, which she guessed would be here soon enough- she needed to get away fast, he had stopped and they were near. Suddenly she heard a very quiet, but very real chuckle escape; at first she thought it was one of cruelty at he fact he wouldn't let her escape, then she realised it was at a level and of a style that was like a person laughing at them self in a form of disbelief. At this Ria wondered if maybe he was in fact no threat but help, and she turned jut as his foot steps began to echo as he turned and closed the gap between them a bit. He stopped a fair distance away, his features still disguised to Ria in the low light and with her impaired vision. And he spoke, in a way that almost felt mocking to Ria, though she was sure it wasn't meant in that manner at all when he said “If you are going to lie, you should try to do a better job of it.” Ria felt annoyed at the fail of her excuse, though she knew her excuse was terribly feeble- but wait? Why had he taken the bait before? OR maybe he hadn't he just felt relieved not to stay and had only offered to help in the first place to be a good citizen, but what had made him turn back, Ria looked her her joyous bundle- Her child perhaps? Maybe he couldn't stand the thought of the child been in any danger. Ria assumed it must of been the case as no one would help a stranger and really feel the need to, unless they had something truly precious like a child, a warm feeling swept over Ria, one she didn't think she would feel at all that night. Her child was bringing them safe haven alongside been the most beautiful precious thing she had ever laid eyes upon, Ria smiled at the thought. Ria went to voice her conclusion to these erratic actions of his when he spoke before she had a chance to and uttered “But for politeness’ sake, let’s say I believe it.”. Ria once again felt like she was been mocked and had half a mind to reject this persons help when she remembered the previous feeling of complete vulnerability an though wiser of it and listened to his next words, Assuming ‘they’, while in search of said ‘stuff going down’ pursue you to ‘your Aunt Linda’s house’ – I do believe you will be in some sort of trouble. Else, correct me if I’m wrong, I believe you would not be running from them in the first place, much less becoming desperate enough in your desire to escape them that you would accept the help of a complete stranger.” She smiled to her self as she realised just how feeble that excuse of hers was, then listened to him as he continued more so “Forgive me, miss… But unless you feel like turning yourself in, I suggest you keep hiding, and don’t risk letting them see you again. It seems to me you need to rest, so I would advise you to stay here for the time being. If anybody comes looking for you, I can attempt to deflect them.” At this Ria felt another rush of warmth, he truly was trying to help- not turn her in. Her earlier logic seemed more and more pathetic and she couldn't believe she saw this person as a threat- at that point she developed a sudden feeling of warmth towards him, he was going to 'deflect them' that could put him in an awkward and possibly dangerous situation, but here he was ready to do it, ready to help her and her beloved child- still the risk was there, but Ria didn't feel like it was that big a issue any more- or at least it was insignificant enough for her to ignore. Still, despite his barve offer to 'deflect' them, what ever that may entail, Ria was worried, she wanted to have him near her and her child- if she hid, she could still be found, and was no less vulnerable, it relied on a successful deflection from him- which she doubted due to the number of people around. A frown of worry creased itself upon Ria's forehead. She realised she should voice some words as she had beig quiet for a while now and was sue he was uncomfortable with waiting. Ria, plastered on a partially false smile and croaked for her voice was still not truly functioning "Thank you. I truly mean that from the bottom of my heart, it is so nice of you.. But, I don't think it is- that we can-" Ria broke into tears, the situation had become to much for her and her emotions were to scattered- she was surprised this hadn't happened sooner. Out of instinct she ran forward to latch onto someone to crying to their shoulder, this mysterious man been that someone, but just as she was about to throw a arm around him, she quickly remembered the situation and returned the arm around her child protectively and shuffled nervously, still crying, she had closed the safe gap that had been there before, not just by a bit, but dramatically, the gap between them was small an fear encircled her once again. She wanted to quit crying and move away, but she felt frozen there, and she shook, partially out of fear at the closeness, partially from the fit of tears she was having and partially from the cold weather that had closed on in; She was trying to stop her tears coming but failed, and as a result they were coming out as machine gun sobs, she rarely let her self cry, but when she did she always had someone there, someones shoulder to cry upon- this was new and it was terribly confused to her. Through her sobs she managed to speak a few broken words "Help me... Stay here. Don't leave.." she realised this may of came out sounding much more personal than she had intended but she was past the point of caring. Life was testing her and the pressure was too much, being careful would be like idiocy to her right now. So she stood there- shaking, crying and clutching a baby to her- which comfort was minimal and caused more worry than relief.

((Thanks for the awesome post Dottie! You used the subtle hints I'd given you absolutely brilliantly, and created the perfect situation for me! ^_^ I hereby redeem myself, in length if not in quality. ))


Kougu observed the girl’s expression closely as it flickered from one emotion to the next. One moment she seemed nervous, the next hopeful, then annoyed, then calm, annoyed again, and so it went on – flickering back and forth like the colours on a movie screen. Kougu read every expression like words on the page of a book – just as he had been taught to do. Every twitch of an eyelash, every breath passing her lips, every slight shifting of her weight – even a tightening of her fingers – every action meant something to him. Yes somehow, it felt wrong… Just as it always had. To study a real person – to read their real expressions and real emotions just to build up a rough framework in his mind… In short: To judge the person, fully and completely, and to learn everything he could from every movement, as though she was a moving object on a television screen rather than the living being of flesh and bone standing before him. Why did he have to be like this…? It just didn’t seem right… It was as though he was getting to know this girl completely without her permission. It felt indecent, like eavesdropping or spying, but he couldn’t help it. His thoughts strayed to those tracks automatically, just as they had been trained to do, and his control over them was limited. The best he could do would be to distract himself, and hopefully forget to study her like some sort of textbook on human emotion.
Still, Kougu had to admit, it had been fascinating to watch the gradual change in her as he had spoken… The way she had gone oh-so-slowly from considering him a threat, to deciding to trust in his suggestions. It was foolish, of course… Nobody should ever trust him… Yet despite his earnest wishes to be distrusted for all eternity, Kougu had to admit that it was a pretty good feeling all the same.. To win one’s trust, at least to some extent, purely out of the innocence of his intentions. If only it were up to him, his intentions would never be anything but good… But that was not the point. He had to focus… He could not get to daydreaming in a situation like this.

Kougu forced his gaze back to the girl then – his midnight blue eyes flashing for a moment with reflected light as he shifted slightly from his position in the deep, comforting shadows. What he saw surprised him slightly. The girl seemed grateful, genuinely grateful, almost as though she actually appreciated what he had offered to do for her… It was a strange and unfamiliar experience to Kougu, yet it was something precious – and he could not express just how much he truly appreciated it. At her forced smile, Kougu felt a vague inclination to return it, but he quickly brushed it aside. He had no need to smile… Then she began speaking, and Kougu refocused his attention to listen intently – not wanting to miss anything. "Thank you. I truly mean that from the bottom of my heart, it is so nice of you.. But, I don't think it is- that we can-" Though her voice was barely more than a croak, she began calmly, but as she spoke more and more, her voice began to break in apparent uncertainty and, much to Kougu’s dismay, he sensed approaching waterworks. He was about to say something to reassure her, when suddenly it all fell apart. She burst into tears – leaving him feeling too shocked and awkward to do anything besides heartlessly gape at her – for which he felt instantly guilty. Yet before he had time to even consider acting to atone for his lack of sympathy, she had rushed toward him
Toward him.
Toward him! Nobody… Nobody was ever supposed to go near him! Not a single soul – no exception whatsoever, and especially not her – a tearful stranger he had just happened upon in the street, the outside world, somewhere he was not even supposed to be!
Time seemed to slow down for Kougu as the girl raced nearer to him – one arm outstretched toward him. Each heartbeat throbbed like the pulsing of blood beneath a bruise, and each second seemed to take a painful eternity as this nightmarish horror unfolded before him. She was getting closer, closer… Closer. Yet there was nothing he could do. Shock and horror froze him to the spot, and his limbs refused to respond to his desperate pleas for escape.
Then, suddenly, time resumed its normal pace. In the selfsame moment that the girl realised her mistake and came to a halt, Kougu exploded away from her like a stick of dynamite. Not even aware of what he was doing, he leaped backwards as though he had just stepped on a landmine – his actions reminiscent of a wild animal shying away from a deadly predator. In fact, in some twisted and upside-down, inside-out kind of way – perhaps that was what the situation was.
Before a person could have time to do more than blink, Kougu had scrambled away and collided hard with the opposite wall – causing his back to protest painfully as instant bruises sprung up beneath skin scraped by the wall – which shuddered for a brief moment and coughed up a small amount of dust with a low groan. Kougu remained flattened against the wall – pressing his back so hard against it that one could have sworn he intended to melt into it and become part of the ancient, crumbling bricks. He was so tense that a rapid twitching had taken his entire body, giving the general impression that he was vibrating in what might have been fear. His heart plunged madly in his chest, battering against his ribs as though desperate to escape his fearful body. Midnight blue eyes stretched wide in shock and agitation, and each breath escaping his lips was ragged and unstable, with such brief periods in between each one that it seemed more likely he had just run a marathon, rather than simply leaping back a few meters into a wall. Kougu could not even look at the girl, yet at the same time, he could not look away. He glanced around like a wounded gazelle trying to escape a pack of lions, still flattened against the wall and with definite urgency in his gaze. He felt sick, out of breath, high on adrenaline, pained, exhausted, terrified and so much else that he could not describe – yet his expression, as always, remained near inscrutable. He was frozen to the spot, petrified, and the prospect of saying something to comfort the girl – which he had been so desperate to do before – now seemed pathetically laughable in the nightmarish situation.

Thus, Kougu stood there a moment longer, plastered against the wall like a swatted fly with his heart beating like a base drum and his breath puffing like a steam train. Then it started, just as he had feared it would. For a brief moment, everything went black, and Kougu was not aware of anything going on around him. All he saw was the blackness of his thoughts, like a massive empty movie screen, flickering threateningly in preparation for what he knew was about to come. The images flashed by like a sequence of rapid stop-motion animation shots.
Tall, white walls stretching up all around him…
Shadowy figures shrouded in darkness, growing gradually nearer… Suffocating him…
Bright flashes of crimson, pained screams, maniacal laughter, and then blood. Blood, more blood, and then an entire flood. Like waves of an ocean crashing over him: Boiling and bubbling, thick and gluttonous, and a horrible, deep crimson…
It was everywhere, never ending, leaving no escape. He felt the pain of each beloved drop of it. The guilt of hearing those jagged screams wrenching at his heart. The sorrowful sobbing, pleading, begging… The beseeching eyes… Familiar, beloved eyes that would never again look upon his distraught face.
Then crimson again. Flooding, flashing, flowing… Devouring everything to pull it all into an abyss of darkness.
The memories were scattered and broken like jagged shards of a mirror, yet each one pierced with as sharp an edge… An unbearable pain swept over Kougu, and though he knew it was only his imagination – that made it no less real to him. Clutching at his head like a madman with a migraine, Kougu slowly slide down the wall – his eyes wide and staring – until he slumped down at the bottom, sweating and shuddering feverishly. He completely forgot about the girl, and simply sat there in blind, stunned silence. What the hell was he doing here…? He couldn’t risk a repeat of what had happened. Never, ever again. He had to leave, get out of here – get back to that house, and never leave it again. Kougu began experimenting with his useless limbs then – trying to coax them into obedience. After a moment he had managed to scramble to his feet, and then he tensed – preparing himself to make a hasty escape. However, at the last moment, something the girl had said before darted through his mind. At the time, he had been in such a panic that he had not even heard it – but apparently it had lodged itself somewhere in his mind, for he recalled it now clearly as ever. "Help me... Stay here. Don't leave.." Why he had to remember it now of all times he didn’t know… But he had, and it had crushed his resolve. He could not deny such a plea – especially not after he had given his word. In fact, the very idea that he had so nearly gone back on his word in the first place was despicable. He had gotten himself into this situation now, and he would just have to wait it out until the end.
Kougu released a long, shuddering breath – steadying himself - then, with as much dignity as he could muster, he slowly straightened up and dusted himself off, pointedly ignoring the girl – mostly because he was somewhat embarrassed to face her after his little ‘moment’.

Ria was originally relieved when this person jumped back away from her, but it lasted no more than a few moments before she realised this was not a ordinary space giving leap back- the fact that it was a leap back rather than a step back showed that, but it taken her a moment to register. she looked at him stunned and shocked as he scuttled away like a crab who you nearly stepped on and have its powerful pincers clamp down on your toe, and slammed his back against the wall with such a force that Ria was tempted to walk over and tend to his back which must of obviously got injured in doing so, yet her mind thought better of it and she stayed firmly away from intruding his 'personal space' and took a note to stay away from in the future- if there was a future to be weary of. Her sane mind told her to leave, run away, yet some other part of her planted her feet there, which admittedly was also from the pure fear turning her legs into stone, but something else wanted her to comfort him- help him. She store at him open mouthed, yet with curious eyes as he shuddered and shook in what Ria would normally assume to be a fit of some kind, which she would of went to go help, yet once again the better part of her mind told her not to to stay where she was and let him rattle away. Awkwardly, Ria bit her lip and ran her hand through her hair, ruffling it about in a tense unsure manner, then her hand raised slightly, as if it were been tugged softly by some invisible string in the direction of the shuddering person and her pointer and middle finger raised up meekly in a frail attempt at reaching out, and her mouth opened to speak words of comfort, yet once again something inside her told her to withdraw from such actions and her hand fell back to her side, but her mouth remained gaping in pure shock, fear and amazement at what her eyes saw. She wanted so badly to say this was a trick of her tired eyes and flustered brain, however she knew it was not and stood there dumbfounded. She had only seen such strange actions before, yet she refused to think the outcome would be the same- she highly doubted it. Her father was ill, seriously ill, his delusions of an alien race were just that-delusions. He had had a fit and died from his own mind, not encounters and experiments- his own mind creating a scenario to keep the tragic loss of his son, Ria's brother, at bay- yet it spiraled. Ria had knew this to be fact and she refused to let her mind say any other way, the phycologist had explained it to her, and Ria knew it was logically correct- no way would she let her brain listen to anything else but logic- that thought their shook Ria into a sudden realisation- where was her logic now? Had it scattered it self to wherever her father was? Or perhaps the side of her that believed in life after death, despite her oral refusal to such an idea was taking over- making her crazy like her father, Ria shook her head furiously. She was been an idiot, delusional and un-realistic. The birth had drained her, at that thought Ria looked down and decided she would walk away- for hr child. At that she somehow un-rooted her legs and took a unsure step back, and twisted her waist to face the opposite direction to the fitting man, yet after taking a few minor steps, she turned round and returned to her original place- no. No way would she leave another human being in such a tragic state. And with that she looked down at him, worry filling her face, the fear vanished deep into her mind- locked away to keep her sanity from been torn with such contrasted thoughts. His breathing troubled him, it rasped and showed an apparent ache to it- whether that ache was mental or physical Ria didn't know, all she knew it troubled her deeply. The speed of his breathing worried her whether he was getting enough oxygen for he couldn't of been breathing that deep, at hat though she instinctively went for her bag holding her inhaler when she realised it was yet another thing that she left at the hospital, alongside the basics like dignity and obeying the law. All she brought with her, was her beautiful child and her true self, the one she had masked for so long under the ideal actions of a citizen; Indeed she had something new and something old and dusty- but both held a certain high standing style to them. Once again, Ria was snapped from her thoughts as she looked down at he troubled person as his eyes suddenly joined his head in a violent flicking from side to side. He appeared to Ria like a lost child who had just suffered a day of bullying and ha bottled up his anger and frustration- it reminded her of a much more bodily expressive emotion of what she had felt earlier. Ria all of sudden found herself crying at the state this perfect stranger was in- Despite not knowing him long, well not really knowing him at all something about this curious character had moved Ria deeply and she couldn't help but feel a strong feeling towards him, a feeling she couldn't distinguish, she desperately tried to think of what it was- this feeling that kept her here in the eyes of danger, she looked down at her child and tried to compare- Instantly she could note a slight protective feeling over this character, but what else, love? No, not love not motherly or like the one she had felt for the mother of her child at least. At that Ria gave up, perhaps more of this curious feeling would unravel itself in time with knowing this curious character- she did it again. She knew then and there she did not want to leave him, though part of her wondered whether it should. He seemed such a pitiful mess, unable to help himself, like a newborn infant. With that Ria looked down and studied the soft angelic face of her child. Each of them needed help, her child, herself and this curious stranger- in some form or another they were spiraling, others worse than others, she looked towards the figure, and she knew who needed it now. Ria quickly dried her eyes as she noticed the shaking slow down, gradually it stopped altogether and he brought himself up, Ria hadn't notice him collapse, the tears clouding her already weak eyes combined with her endless thoughts must of blanked out her noticing, but that was not important- he was getting up and appearing to compose himself. She watched half filled with hope and happiness and half with worry and fear as he got himself into a balanced state, she hoped both mentally and physically, his posture straightened to that of a proud man, though she assumed he felt anything but that, then dusted himself off. At that Ria waited, she waited for to speak. Nothing. She felt like once again crying as he plainly ignored her. Still, she couldn't risk losing her composure like that- no, not again- never again. She couldn't let her actions be no longer dominated by her sane mind and do something to cause that again. She just couldn't let such a thing happen. She collected her thoughts an took a deep relaxing breathe in, quickly composing her self much like this curious man had and let her mind explore the most likely obvious explanation as to why he had ignored her. Quickly she realised the plain simple truth would most likely he was embarrassed at what he had just done- after all it was rather out the norm and he probably assumed was something Ria had never seen- but alas, she had seen something familiar, though she doubted highly they were brought on from similar reasons, and she was just thankful her childs eyes retained their fresh innocence that could block out such sights- no, she didn't want her baby to live life with such memories. Ria felt it would be like re-sending the same e-mail but under a different name. Ria then contemplated what she should say, what words should leave her mouth, if any words at all, should she go over and see of he was okay? No, she shouldn't go near him, at that Ria got upset, he could of really hurt himself there, he must be in such an emotional state and Ria just stood here like a china doll, with look that teased any of your stirring emotions into overload and with that fresh tears formed and her composure and logic once again scattered apart and the words she had wanted to plan and think through spilled out in mindless and dumb gushing ramblings "I am so, so, unbelievably sorry! I... I didn't mea- Oh god! Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself" A large sob interjected here and left her chocking for a breathe, yet then she continued "Do you need to go to the hospital?" Sudden realisation as to how all this happened left Ria feeling even more flustered and more words gushed out "No.. sorry, I can't take you there- but god if you did! I would want to die... Please say you are okay? I can't believe I caused this to happen!" Her spare hand tore at her head and her knees bent as she let out a barely audiable scream towards the ground and then let even more. "If you want to go.. I understand, I gave you enough reason- I think I can cope" she said the last words doubtfully yet still she pressed on "I was going to anyways- but god! Urgh, you need help! You could be hurts in all sorts of manners" The tears began to well up inside and she choked the last words few understandable words out "I f you need help getting to the hospital, I can take you- I give up on trying for myself.. She will be fine.. I am not sure about you though" The last few words there Ria knew were meant more for herself than him, and right then Ria crumbled inside- she was too tired and all she had done since running away was cause pain and frustration- for all she knew this guy could be about to die- thought he way he had recovered made Ria doubt that, but still- she felt he could be seriously hurt and all she wanted to do- all she felt she could do was help him. she realised her child would be fine, better off with out her infact, she could still help this person, but her fate was locked- so why fight it. At that thought, Ria's legs gave way and she came down to the ground, only managing to support her upper body through the protective feeling over her child, yet once she hit the ground she slumped over her child and her tears came out harder than they had done for years and she let out loud sobs that were near enough to wailing an she let her self crumble and fall apart in front of this perfect stranger, after managing to be composed during his 'fit' so well and noting not to loose composure- she didn't care anymore. She had cared her whole life, fighted her whole life but she now knew the truth- some lives had a locked fate and not all of them lives were destined to be happy ones, hers included. Who said birth was an occasion filled with joy? Whoever they were Ria now knew- they were wrong as wrong as her life. So she sat there, ready to give up on everything- her past, her present and her future.

Kougu glanced around swiftly as he heard the girl’s voice – his head jerking round so suddenly it was as though he was a puppet on a string. He stood perfectly calm – his dignified stance offering no indication of his ‘minor freak out’ a moment before. He had gotten a grip on himself now, and what reason had he to allow himself to dwell on his actions from a moment before? They were in the past now: Forgotten, until they returned to torment him again… Which, knowing his luck, would most likely be rather soon. Right now, in fact, judging by what he saw before him…
Kougu’s eyes darted over the girl – looking her up and down before finally coming to rest on her face. He remained perfectly silent and motionless, simply letting his eyes rove over her face and read her expressions as easily and casually as one might read a newspaper. She seemed slightly confused, and who could blame her, after he had just freaked out completely in front of her just because she had moved toward him. Normal people just didn’t do that… But then again, what was normal? Was there even such a thing? Some sort of ‘happy medium’ that all people should strive towards? Kougu doubted it. If people were meant to be the same, they would be born thus, so he supposed that meant everybody was different, which in turn mean that everybody was normal. But weren’t some people more similar to others, and others still more different? Yes, that was the point he was looking for! He had acted like one of those ‘different’ people. He was one of those ‘different’ people, and not just different, but very different. He had striven so far from the boundaries of a society that ruled everybody else that most of his actions were likely to be considered weird and eccentric, perhaps even insane. So then it made sense that the girl was confused. It made sense that she seemed a little afraid, since his ‘different’ actions had confused her, and confusion caused one to question, which caused them to doubt, which caused them to embrace their lack of knowledge – which in turn caused fear, since it was simply human nature to fear the unknown. So of course, the girl had every right to feel alarmed, but that brought him to his next question… Why didn’t she flee?
If it was human nature to fear what one failed to comprehend, then was it not also run nature to flee one’s fears? That it was, but this was the point where personality came in… Where ‘difference’ shone through as clearly as the rising sun. Whereas a normal person might have turned and run, this poor girl held her ground and burst into speech – wanting to help him, comfort him, take him to safety. Courage, compassion, both fine aspects in a person – or so he had heard. He appreciated it, in any case.
Yes, the emotions showing on the girl’s face made perfect sense if he thought about it. The only thing that didn’t make any sense at all to him was this: Why did she show concern for him, want to help him – even at the cost of her own suffering – when he was naught but a complete stranger? The answer was there… Right there in her eyes: Some lingering emotion, some thought or conscience… Something that, no matter how hard he tried, he simply could not read. But whatever it was, it had brought about this strange phenomenon and, in so doing, caused Kougu to experience something he had long since decided did not exist for him: Kindness. The girl was honestly concerned for his wellbeing… She actually cared! The realization was so shocking that Kougu almost staggered backwards into the wall again, but then he checked himself – feeling rather ashamed of his foolish actions. The girl was still speaking, and it was time for him to cast his useless stalling thoughts aside and listen properly. His imagination couldn’t save him forever… It was time he grew up. But then again, could one ever really grow up from a childhood they never had? Obviously not, since he was doing it again! That was it, enough thinking, listen! But then again- LISTEN!

Kougu’s dark eyes instantly refocused and a tiny frown of concentration creased his pallid features. He listened intently to the girl, and the more she babbled on, the more ashamed and sympathetic he felt. How could he have caused her such worry?! He felt terribly guilty for it… Ah, the guilt again. That burning, blistering guilt which consumed his soul and reduced it to cinders like the ferocious furnace he had come to see it as. But what of it? He deserved every moment.
Much to Kougu’s horror, the girl began to cry again then. Great, crystalline drops fell from her swimming eyes as she finally finished speaking and sank dejectedly to the ground. The glorious drops trickled down her fine-boned cheeks to fall from the very tip of her chin – splattering on the ground to leave tiny dark dots (DOTTIE! ) in their wake, which hovered thus for a moment, then faded completely. He watched the process, entranced, until finally he remembered the cause of these little dots of dampness: The tears. And then, most painfully, the cause of the tears: Himself. Well, there was certainly no doubt in his mind that he had an obligation to somehow try to comfort this poor girl… Who was upset in the first place from trying to comfort him, who would not have appeared to need comfort had she not sought comfort from him In the first place with that attempted hug… Then again, if he hadn’t- Wait, no, this was getting him nowhere. Enough pointless thinking already – just act!

“Hey, hey, don’t cy!” Kougu protested feebly, standing awkwardly at his ‘safe distance’ and feeling rather helpless. “And don’t apologise, either.” He added more firmly, “You’ve done nothing wrong.” Kougu attempted to take a step toward her then, hesitated for a moment, and settled for simply standing where he was and fidgeting nervously. “I am perfectly all right – at least for all purposes involved – and I’d not dream of allowing you to drag me off to that band of under-qualified imbeciles and- No… Certainly not when they’re after you.” He finally lapsed into silence, slightly surprised by the amount of words that had left his lips. “Besides,” he added as an afterthought, “You shouldn’t worry about me when I’m trying to help you – it’s degrading!” He offered a faint smile then, obviously making some feeble attempt at ‘humour’ which he did not completely understand, and most likely failing miserably, yet attempting nonetheless, which was rather a large gesture coming from him.
“Come, on your feet.” He ordered kindly – his gentle voice holding a stern, yet caring edge. “They’ll be upon us soon, so we must make haste… We should go… Uh…” Kougu trailed off into silence, frowning thoughtfully. Where were they going to go…? But of course! The house. It was safe and he had any medical supplies that either of them might need there… Well, that was it, then. Perfect! If only he could remember which way it was… Well, he would just pretend that he did know, and he’d find it eventually. He wasn’t going to remember anyway, so why bother trying? And since he didn’t have an alternate solution, he would just have to find it, whether it was possible or not. Simple, really… “Yes!” Kougu said suddenly, resuming his speech as though he had never paused in the first place. “Yes, I could take you back to my father’s house if you wish… Just until you’re safe. It is a better solution than sitting around here, trapped like rats, after all…” He fell silent, his dark eyes scanning the distraught girl and showing absolutely no hint whatsoever of his own little breakdown a moment before. It might never have happened at all, for all the evidence he showed of it. He gnawed nervously on his lip as he considered the sobbing bundle before him, remembering for a brief second that which he had decided to forget: The child. Much as he hated to think about it, he had to admit that it was probably dangerous for such a new infant to be out in the open air… And even with the sun beginning to rise, it was still a chilly morning. He could tell that even from the shivering of his own chilled body. Indeed, they had to get back quickly… He glanced over the girl yet again: Quickly taking in how sore, exhausted and emotionally drained she seemed. He could recognize the symptoms of one who had recently given birth, and he knew that neither of them – mother nor child – ought to be running around this much just yet. It was dangerous… He had to do something. He had to help. But for now – forget the child. It didn’t exist… Not in his world. Assist the girl – repent for the suffering he had caused her, that was what he had to do. “Come on, you’re exhausted.” He encouraged gently, “We should get away from this dangerous place before you have to deal with any more unnecessary stress, don’t you agree?” He attempted a slight smile, but not much happened. So much for that gesture… He considered offering to help her to her feet, too – but all that thought achieved was that his fingers curled in upon his palm and his arm locked down more firmly against his side. Perhaps his instincts were right… It was best not to push himself, no matter how desperately he wished to comfort her… No matter how intensely her tears pained him. It would all be so much worse if he forgot his ideals and, more importantly, his reasons for them.
With that thought in mind, Kougu turned away from the girl and began walking in the direction he assumed the house was – hoping that she would follow without argument. With a bit of luck they’d be back soon… His feet ought to know the way, even if he didn’t. They had walked him into that pole in the first place and they had gotten him into all this trouble, so they could damn well take him back to the house again now!

Ria sat there the tears streaming down her soft delicate skin, staining the night gown, that she had forgotten she was wearing; She had given up, and as a result wanted to take in every sweet detail of the surrounding world before her life would meet a tragic stop, well to her, a jail cell was no life- it was a curse. She looked up at the sky, the darkness was starting to be intruded with light as the sun began its gradual rising casting beautiful streaks of various blues across the clear sky- she wanted that. To have a life to out last a thousand lives, be able to rise and set whilst casting extraordinary beauty about and highlight the beauty of others or darken and disappear to allow the centre stage be adopted by another performer; it seemed the perfect life, one which she would never achieve- even if the current circumstances were different. She let her gaze drop down to the ground, all its bumps and imperfections really illustrated life to Ria the way of life, she let a brief almost invisible smile fall upon her face, only to quickly disappear like her child would soon enough. Ria turned to look at the walls either side of her, they stood loyal to their ground, assuring, comforting and always there- for everyone. She was amazed how the surroundings reflected life and the people she strived to be so well and her tears slowed, she assumed because of her recent thoughts, but perhaps she was simply running out of tears- she was not one to cry usually. She briefly turned her stare to the man who appeared deep in thought and almost dumbfounded by the current situation, the irony of how this situation was reverse to how it should of been left a small sense of amusement at the base of Ria's stomach; a crying girl a common thing she had always observed, but his little fit not quite so common- yet here she was, not running but crying and breaking down and there he was looking somewhat bemused. Perhaps the way she had reacted was what had left him looking somewhat confused and led him into what Ria assumed was some intense thinking about life. Life. It was no longer something Ria could take hold of, her feeble grasp on it had loosened and now it slid from her finger tips. Life. The same way she lost it another had recently began, she peered down at her child, and it was a treasure wars would be fought over Ria smiled to herself. She knew this child had a big future, the way her eyes twinkled and the calm nature- she was the essence of life and with that Ria whispered softly and so that no one but her young child could hear "Eshe". Te child smiled back up at her with its beautiful eyes. Yes. That was her name, the ancient Egyptian name meaning 'life'. It suited her well and hopefully she would no of her far back heritage. Ria suddenly stopped and wondered, would they let her keep this name? Would her request be ignored as she was handcuffed and sent away from her child. Ria let her free hand fall to the ground in loss of hope, the rough surface breaking the outer layer of her skin and sending sharp but subtle pain to her heart to make her realise one important thing- this was very much real.

Suddenly Ria had a 'knee jerk reaction' when her hand came instantly back to the child as few uneasy word's left the looming persons lips "Hey, hey, don't cry!" Ria raised her head, her eyelashes rose slowly, in a manner that might of been considered seductive in circumstances unlike this on, to allow her eyes to be as open as possible and take in what he was saying in the utmost detail she could allow. He continued in his awkward manner, though at the same time it sounded much more concrete in how it was said "And don't apologise, either. You've done nothing wrong" Ria felt like laughing at his words. Noting wrong? She had done everything wrong, it was all so wrong- right from birth! It just got worse over the years. Ria quickly realised he was probably referring to the current situation not her life, again another thing, he didn't even know her! HEr thoughts were emotional and dumb. Of course, the present was no well done series of events by her- she was been a fool and mindless fool and left him in a state, she was about to voice this thought when he cut her off and spoke again "I am perfectly all right – at least for all purposes involved – and I’d not dream of allowing you to drag me off to that band of under-qualified imbeciles and- No… Certainly not when they’re after you." She cast a doubtful look at him, and then back to the wall, which had taken the brunt of his little fit and the dust still ladened the ground surprisingly heavily, though for the most part the wall remained unscathed, so she logically assumed he would of been hurt. She toyed with the idea of using her small amount of medical knowledge to inspect, and if required, inspect the wounds herself- yet she quickly thought better of it and was prepared for an awkward silence to fill the area when once again he continued. "Besides, you shouldn’t worry about me when I’m trying to help you – it’s degrading!" Ria, noted a barely-there smile and assumed this was meant to be some form of a joke, she looked at him with a small frown but let her small laugh escape her lips, trying to figure out why he used such milt humor, though she was grateful it left her feeling somewhat comforted and her tears stopped there now snail like rolls of her cheeks and left her wiping her face dry. His next words echoed her very thoughts and as a result complied and scrambled to her feet, her spare hand searching feebly for a ledge to haul herself up, whilst her other gripped Eshe tight to her body. He continued speaking his sentence "They’ll be upon us soon, so we must make haste… We should go… Uh…" he cut off at this point and went into apparent deep thought, which of course left Ria in her own mind once more, though her thoughts surprised her as they took the from of a old memory. A woman, the most beautiful woman, with olive tanned skin [OOC: Though Olives are green- that always bugged me ] , straight black shining hair, ad the same glistening brown eyes that occupied Ria's and Eshe's faces, smiling and laughing, though tears rolled down her face, and despite what Ria wanted to see them as, they were not tears of happiness but sadness- a prediction of what was to come. Yet there she was, the woman Ria admired most, braving the end of her days, and taking in what was lost precious to her- Ria- her child. And then Ria heard it the booming thuds against the stairs nearing the door- tears once again threatened to leave Ria's eyes, and a scream echoing the one from that day bubbled at the back of Ria's throat, yet before that scream had ever left her mouth back then, Ria remembered the soft, fragile, meaningful kiss her mother had left upon her cheek before it happened- before she was cruelly ripped away from Ria when she was a small five year old. That day was what shaped Ria for the rest of life and no way would she let herslef be defeated- her mother was like the sun, the moon, the walls and the ground all combined with a fierce bravery, and Ria wanted nothing more than to be like her- She refused to give in right then and there. Whatever this perculiar person would say she would take with both hands, not timidly study from afar, acting as if she were doing the most difficult thing- no. She would not lie to herself anymore, she wouldn't give in, she wouldn't let her self be her own enemy and she wouldn't be timid with life- she would stand and fight for her rights, the rights of everyone and what she knew was right in both cause and affect. Passionately, Ria let her eyes open up and work to their maximum capability, taking in every detail, and letting everything get that much more brighter. The beauty of i all caused Ria to cry, but not in sorrow as most would wrongly assume, but in hope and pride- this was her life. She had the power to do what she wanted and take every bit of luck thrown at her, starting with this person, she turned her watery gaze to him and was relieved at the timing as he continued to speak in a somewhat confident manner "Yes, I could take you back to my father’s house if you wish… Just until you’re safe. It is a better solution than sitting around here, trapped like rats, after all…" Ria nodded, letting her mind skim her choices, here, the warehouse or his fathers. She knew straight away which would be most comfortable for her and her child- which now she thought about it was what they both really needed right now. Suddenly she noted the use of the phrase 'tapped like rats' and smiled at the words, rearranging and changing them in her head, trapped by rats more like she though to her self with a small smirk creeping across her face for an instant. Suddenly she noted how the man was glancing her over, his eyes indicated a calculating look, but it wasn't one for Ria to fear, no. It was assessing her and the best solution to all of this. Suddenly he snapped back to to focus an spoke again "Come on, you’re exhausted. We should get away from this dangerous place before you have to deal with any more unnecessary stress, don’t you agree?" Ria smiled at his assessment, she guessed it took a while for her new enlightened mood to show upon her wreckage of a body- one that had just undergone the painful practice of giving birth. With that he flicked around and walked off, Ria smiled to herself, it was her turn to calculate him and so far- the most intriguing person she had ever met, and their time together had been brief, minimal in words but filed with actions. She let a reply dance off her lips "I do agree. I agree strongly. Might I add, thank you- people like you- the ones who you can just tell have lived a life where the have seen more than most, or perhaps very different events to most are always the easiest to listen and relate to. There is a certain wisdom there-" she broke off before she uttered the rest of her thoughts- she didn't want to assume to much- especially out loud. Still, her thoughts trailed on what she had just been speaking, it was those who had a mild look of self loathing to them, the ones who wanted to be forgiven for what ever had made them who they were- the ones who wanted redemption. These were the people Ria liked the most- they had lived life, made mistakes, suffered the consequences, felt and acted real and strong emotions and didn't just follow the rules of society and found out why those rules were created in the first place for themselves- to learn if those rules were truly needed or not. There was something about these people that Ria just gravitated towards, they reminded her of her mother, and they were so rare. The only thing that was different from them and her mother was, she didn't seek redemption, nor did she wallow in self pity. No. She lived her life with no regrets and died for her beliefs and let her self take in what she loved. Ria wished she could help people be like her mother in how they viewed life, but that would be to change a human which was undeniably a next to impossible thing to do. However, she could help those who were like that but in need of minor tweaking in the final views. She glanced curiously at the persons back wondering if she could help him. A twinkle unraveled in her eye and she softly spoke, in a way she hoped that wouldn't be registered in the forefront of the mind, but stored way back in the clock work. "Live with no regrets.." She fell silent for a few steps, letting her midn assess the events that had taken place today, yet her mind simply wondered back to this person who strode before her and she wanted to find out more about him- no, she needed to. Something about him tempted her in, it felt safe, yet dangerous yet so sweet at the same time. His existence had Ria hooked and with out his knowledge, he was winding her in and all she wanted to do was learn about him and help him. She could admit it was a feeling of loss of her mother and the possibility of capturing a small shard of her personality, the one she admired most in such a curious being left Ria feeling so lured in. She decided she should persist with the basics, and she remembered how he had never told her her name, so she let her self speak to the back of his head "So, what is your name? I know you said it was unimportant, but it would comfort me greatly if I knew... Wait-" Ria looked around and noted his somewhat hesitant foot steps "You do know where we are going right? I really don't feel like an aimless wander and I know of a place we could go until you can remember the way?" She thought of the warehouse and its quaint little features that filled its pleasant security and began to feel lulled at the thought of rest, her previous bright spark beginning to loose its vibrant, comforting light on her current condition.

((Awesome =D Just posted 2390 words (not including the OOC bit ) I am so amazed at myself right now 0.o... Though I really should leave you off with something better to respond to 0.0))

”People like you-“ People like him? Were there such things? At times he felt inclined to wonder if he was ever a ‘person’ at all – and then he remembered. He shared the same lungs, the same brain, the same beating heart – but something about his would never be quite the same as most ‘people’. His father had seen to that… His father had seen to it all to well that Kougu could never quite be accurately compared to other people. At first glance, perhaps, and this was no doubt what this girl was going off – but when one looked a little deeper… No, who was he kidding? He would never let anybody see any deeper than the robotic exterior he showed. He simply couldn’t take the shame… ”Lived a life where they have seen more than most, or perhaps very different events to most-“ Well, who was he to deny that? He had seen extremely different things to most, yet in a way, he had seen less rather than more. Cooped up in that house all those years, he saw only the ‘difference’ that set him apart. The lens of his mind’s eye was so smeared in blood that every thought and memory seemed to have a crimson lining – that lingering reminder of the wrong he had done, and the losses he had suffered. Losses he had never quite got over, and which still haunted him day by day. ”Always the easiest to listen and relate to…” Okay, hold up a second there… What had she just said?! Him, Kougu, easy to listen to? Easy to relate to? In some alternate dimension or parallel universe, maybe – but in this life, not a chance. How could a person listen to him when his lips released naught but an endless stream of babble – sounding like he had swallowed a textbook every time he said something remotely clever. He hardly abided by the rules of modern day society in his way of speaking, since he preferred to maintain formality rather than adapt to the casualness of most people’s speech. Thus, he was not particularly easy to listen to – even for himself.
And to relate to him…? He hoped damn well that this poor girl couldn’t, because if she could, he pitied her. Man did he pity her! But no, nobody could really relate to him… Nobody could really understand what went on in his intelligent mind, for as usual – he hid himself behind his mental mask and vowed each and every moment of every single day never to let anything in or out. He was unusual enough when he was acting ‘normal’… What would happen if he released the full brunt of his oddness on somebody? All Hell would break loose, surely. But of course, none of this really mattered. In fact, perhaps he was being selfish in considering the girl’s findings to be absurd… Perhaps she could see past his disguise better than most? Perhaps she was a little different herself… He didn’t know, so he couldn’t really judge.

” There is a certain wisdom there-“ Wisdom. Ah, wisdom… It was not always a good thing to be wise. His father had been wise – very wise – and look where that had landed him? His wisdom had convinced him that, due to his vast experience of the world, he knew what was right for it, and what methods he might use to save it. At first his intentions had been pure and noble, but then that ‘wisdom’, if it could still be considered wisdom at that stage, stoked his self confidence and let matters get out of hand. Kougu’s jaw clenched at the thought of the man he loathed with the entirety of his being, and he quickly swept the thoughts aside.
“I’m glad you find me to be of some use.” Kougu replied suddenly, glancing briefly towad the girl and managing a small flicker of a smile. “And thank you.” He added politely, before turning once again to face the way he was walking. He strolled along for a while then, when suddenly a soft group of words subtly entered his mind. ”Live with no regrets…” Well, that was easy to say… Regret was all his life was. He had been born with regret, raised upon regret, taught with regret until, finally, he was ready to learn to regret of his own accord – and was given reason to stew in his regrets. His entire life was just one big regret… He regretted being born. He regretted setting himself loose on the world… Hell, he even regretted surviving this long. But he would not die, he refused to die, for he had a goal, one that he had to accomplish… One which might earn him the redemption he sought, and the forgiveness of his own soul. Then, hopefully, the crushing weight of guilt would be removed… He lived only to do that one thing that he knew he could never, ever regret.
Kougu felt a faint flicker of determination, and strode on with slightly more purpose than before. Those words… Maybe they were a possibility after all? At least for the future… Until then, he would survive. He would survive, but never really live… What was there to live for? He had nothing left. Nothing but his goal, and what little part of himself that he still owned.
Kougu glanced toward the girl, then – considering her thoughtfully. Her, too, he supposed. She was a pleasant sort, and he felt himself warming to her rapidly. He was glad to be doing something to help her… It made him feel better than he had in years! A subtle smile, yet a sincere one this time, lifted the corners of Kougu’s lips – and he glanced away again, hesitating slightly to decide which way to go. That was when the girl’s words interrupted his thoughts. "So, what is your name? I know you said it was unimportant, but it would comfort me greatly if I knew... Wait-" She looked around briefly, seeming to notice his hesitance, "You do know where we are going right? I really don't feel like an aimless wander and I know of a place we could go until you can remember the way?" Kougu paused for a moment to consider her words, coming to a complete standstill and staring into space in silent contemplation. The first question… That one was not exactly simple. Certainly not to him, and certainly not as simple as she seemed to think. The second question he could answer, so he did. “I do not exactly remember the way.” Kougu admitted shamelessly, “But I am certain that I shall manage to find it.” His confidence was without base, but he seemed sure of his instincts, and continued to follow them undeterred – walking in what he hoped was the correct direction and stubbornly refusing to deviate from his path. “As for my name…” He went on slowly, picking his words carefully and speaking while he walked. “If it’s all the same to you, I prefer to avoid making my name known. I have my reasons, but as I doubt they would interest you much anyway, I shan’t bother saying them.” He fell silent, thought for a moment, then added, “But if you truly feel it would comfort you to know, I am sure I can tolerate divulging that much information, at least.” Kougu shrugged vaguely – seeming just a little ashamed about the fact that he was making such a big deal out of something as trivial as a name… But he truth was, it was not trivial to him. To learn one’s name, was to commit them to memory and to unconsciously decide, in some small way, to trust them. In short, it was ‘familiarity’, and it was dangerous with the likes of him… It was something that should rather be avoided. They would likely never see each other again after this little ‘episode’ anyway, so why bother with familiarity? He didn’t want her to remember him, and he didn’t want her to trust him – not even the slightest bit… Well, not past allowing him to guide her to safety, anyway. Oh hell, that was contradictory! This was too confusing – he’d contemplate it in further detail at a later stage… He had more pressing matters on his mind at the present moment. For example: Which way was the house?

Sighing softly, Kougu allowed his bare feet to traipse in the direction they saw as home. The sun was nagging at the horizon in a faint glow of gold, but it was still early enough that the cold, dark streets were mostly deserted. He lead the girl into a familiar street, not bothering to check that she had followed him – it was her choice, anyway. He was going back to the house, with or without her. His midnight blue eyes darted over the well kempt lawns and fancy palm trees all around him – but he felt no admiration for his wealthy neighbours, nor did he take any pride in his own place of living, which was, to be frank, rather a luxury sort of home. Exactly what one would expect of Kougu’s father.
It was with a combination of despair and relief that Kougu dragged his feet up the little steps towards the front door. His attention slipped for a moment as he remembered the girl, and Kougu’s feet continued walking almost without his permission, until suddenly- BANG! Kougu staggered backwards, touching one hand lightly to his head while the heavy oak door reverberated with the force of the collision. Kougu gazed up at it with a rather dazed expression, feeling slightly lightheaded, then stepped carefully towards it again – not seeming at all bothered by the knock on his head. He had walked into that door plenty of times before, almost every time perhaps, and the dent in the door served as undeniable evidence. Kougu grabbed the door handle and jiggled it for a moment, then released a sigh of long-suffering patience as he came to the conclusion that the house was locked, and he could not for the life of him remember what he had done with the keys. Instead of wasting time searching for them, Kougu fished a hair pin out of his pocket and crouched beside the door, inserting the pin to pick the lock. He managed this with the speed and skill of an expert, straightening up with a satisfied expression as the lock came open with a resounding ‘click’. Kougu grabbed the handle again, and this time the heavy oak door yielded before him and swung in.

Kougu remained stationed outside, waiting politely for the girl to enter first – if she was indeed still following. He would have checked, but his attention was already fixed on the interior of the house. The walls were flawlessly white, and no speck of dust was in sight. In fact, the house was so perfectly neat and clean that Kougu, with his bare feet and scruffy hair, seemed completely out of place even standing on the doorstep. His midnight blue eyes darted around what he could see of the large house. It was a double storey, face-brick, and a generally attractive and regal-looking building. The decoration was antique-style and perfectly neat – mostly Asian-styled and giving off a distinct Japanese impression. From the door where he stood, a long corridor reached out to the opposite wall of the house – leading to the base of a staircase, which seemed to disappear into the ceiling, for the top had been boarded off. To the left of this staircase, from where he stood, was the bathroom and to the left, his own room – though he seldom really used it – except to sit and brood or ponder. Right beside his room was an old study – a room almost never used – and beside that, directly to the right of where he stood, was a door. Just a door. What was behind that door, one could not say – and would probably never know, considering just how clear it had been made that nobody was meant to enter said room. The door was fitted with chains, padlocks, combination locks and just about every other variety of lock imaginable. Kougu’s eyes lingered on this door – showing a distant haunted expression – before he shook off his thoughts and glanced hurriedly around the rest of the house to distract himself. To the left of where he stood, bookshelves lined the wall – packed chock-a-block full of thick, leather-covered volumes with complex titles, such as old medical textbooks, encyclopedia and many other advanced educational books. Mixed in with these were some similar books, only showing Japanese symbols on their spines rather than traditional English lettering. Where the wall melted away, Kougu could just catch a glimpse of the kitchen, which was open-plan to the room that served as both dining room and living room, not that he used either very much. He could not see this room from where he stood, as it was behind the wall with the bookshelves, but he knew it was there.

With a vague, pointless smile, Kougu dragged his attention away from the house and glanced back to see what had become of the girl – half hoping that she had decided to leave on the way, yet knowing full well that he would suffer terrible guilt if that were the case, and probably end up having to go back and look for her anyway… Okay, so he definitely hoped she had followed.

((Sorry this is going to be very short.. I would be surprised if I managed to break even 1000 words..))

Ria looked curiously at the changing expression in this mans face, she noticed only subtle changes here and there, but all the same they were there- his thoughts were turning like her own. Still, her capability to read those thoughts seemed to dwindle in skill, all she could tell was a great contradiction flicked through his mind, much like her own had. She longed to know his thoughts, but his body language suggested a very reserved sort of character, and she assumed it would take months, no, years to divulge his past and his thoughts. Suddenly, Ria's ears were intruded by his response to her second query " I do not exactly remember the way. But I am certain that I shall manage to find it." Ria nodded passively, she contemplated telling him she felt it would be better to go to the warehouse as she new it was somewhat near and the shines beams would be highlighting her hospital wear for all to see and report; still, she thought better of it, perhaps it was best just to let it be, he seemed somewhat determined. Ria toyed with the idea that he felt a need to help, and that needed echoed that of self reliance, it was somewhat introverted to her, yet selfless at the same time- she couldn't really state which it was truly, for she had no clue of his past. Eventually, Ria came to the conclusion that it would be best for her to trudge on after him silently and focus on her babe in arms, she looked down towards Eshe a content smile was imprinted on Eshe's angelic sleeping face, leaving Ria with a blissful smiles on her own. Once again however, her thoughts were interrupted as the man answered her first question "As for my name..." He paused briefly leaving Ria in suspense, hoping she would finally learn this persons name, but he slowly picked that hope away as he continued "If it's all the same to you, I prefer to avoid making my name known. I have my reasons, but as I doubt they would interest you much anyway, I shan't bother bother saying them." Ria was about to protest, that, and her Eshe, was all that interested her right now, yet she thought better of pressing for those facts, she sensed he would prefer to leave those unspoken... She would grant his wishes for now... She was sick of letting go what was important to her, and in a strange, erratic way, he was important to her, not only did he interest her but he just had her captivated in a way she did not understand herself. Once again he continued "But if you truly feel it would comfort you to know, I am sure I can tolerate divulging that much information, at least. " She listened to his words, nodding, she knew it would comfort her restless mind, but she could tell he wanted to stay detached and they had just met- she wouldn't pressure him out of any information just yet. She would make sure he noted her as more than a random person, she wanted to know about him but to do that they needed to know each other on a more personal level, which is something she would later strive for- she made up her mind then and there. She followed him silently, her mind drifting to the future that could of been, herself, Eshe and her father all laughing on the grass, Eshe tucked beneath a sweet pink sunhat...

Ria looked around herself, she was in a estate heaven. Beautiful intricate lawns littered the sides of the street, each gasping a rich beauty, one which belonged to the rich but was made by the poor, much like life she thought, she then ran her gaze up towards a spectacular house, her foot steps dwindled as she looked up in awe taking in the details of the house, finally they stopped altogether to fully appreciate its beauty. It was a house Ria had always dreamed she would live in if she ever had the money, a house showing a beautiful aged rusted red brick that seemed to blend quick and subtly in to the modern burned sun bricks of the wings of the house. She admired its regimented straight sides of old and sleek curves of new and her eyes glinted in harmony with the twinkling glass of the double doors and black framed gaping windows. She suddenly realised that it would not look the best to be staring at, or in their mind into, someone's house this early in the morning. Ria quickly scuttled off to catch up with the man who was now turning into the gateway of a house several houses away form her. Ria halted in her tracks as the man walked right into the large door that stood in the walls of the grand house that she saw before her. What? He just walked into a door, she blinked and rubbed her temples. Maybe he too was as tired and as dazed as herself... MAybe she hadn't been paying enough attention, she cursed herself for been so self involved and stood there waiting for him to open the door. Her jaw dropped as she saw him not open the door with a key, but pick it open. She should of known, this place was far to grand the way he walked seemed far to young for it, though his speech suited it perfectly. Her previously ambivalent feelings towards him just became even more contradicted, before she felt the good out weighed the bad- but breaking in? She shook her head, she was no brilliant citizen herself, but at least it was because she saw no other way- this was unnecessary, she had offered a place. This was crime, true to its name crime. She turned and sighed. She hated how she had to turn her hack on him, but she saw no other way. She couldn't get mixed up in this. She was already in enough trouble, with out breaking and entering added to her case- christ, it could lead onto grand theft auto for all she knew! She heard the door click open and with that, she bowed her head in despair and walked towards in the opposite direction she had came, no way would she try find the warehouse now she had to get far away as possible form that hospital, maybe a hotel or something... She suddenly noticed it, far in the distance Ria spotted two figures walking along and laughing. She recognised the uneven and loping walk of the first silhouette, and instantly she felt her stomach churn and her knees weaken, she grasped out for a surface the lean against, and finding a rough stone wall which she tripped and turned towards as she let her back press against it's rough edges and dig and tear at her fact flesh as she began to sink down, her knees no longer coping with her weight. She was barely standing when she noted how the other person with him was a girl, and from waht she could see looked like a plastic model but a man attracting woman none the less. And this particular man was none other than him- Eshes Father. At that thought Ria lost all self control and collapsed, hitting the ground which she had been inches from before, he legs sprawled forwards and her grip on Eshe loosened as her eyes fell closed and she she passed out. Her last memory and thoughts been, the smell of sweet honeysuckle that she assumed was behind the wall, the sound of a bird singing the first song of the morning and her clammy hand feeling the cool refreshing air as all her grip on Eshe failed and she rolled out of her arms and on to her lap- then darkness.

((Sorry.. That was certainly short! Also, apologies for the delay had to have my last dinner as a 15 year old... Microwaveable stir fry! Haha ))

((Done. ))

Kougu’s dark blue gaze scanned his surroundings, a frown slowly creeping across his face as he failed to set eye upon the girl. Had she walked off after all? Oh, great! Just super! Why on earth had she done that? She was in no fit condition to wander the streets in her state… He had offered to help her, he had escorted her to safety – or temporary safety at least – so where was she now? Kougu contemplated the prospect of calling for her, but was held in silence by the down heartening knowledge that he still did not know her name – and thus that calling her would be pointless.
Indecision struck with a point like an arrow, and Kougu turned around to stare into the dark interior of the house. His midnight blue eyes gently caressed the familiar Asian decorations, and he felt an intense spark of longing to get off the dangerous streets and into that house, where he knew all was safe… Where risks were few and far between. Then, oh-so-slowly, his eyes traipsed back to the garden – roving smoothly over the street, lawns, walls and houses in sight like a search light as he looked for the girl.
Go inside, to safety, and leave her… Or take the risk of staying out longer, and search for her?

If he searched, there would be no guilt, for he would have done his bit… But what if he did not find her? What if when he found her, she was dead or injured and he had yet another memory to haunt his mind? What if something was to happen… If he lost his grasp on reality?
On the other hand, if he just went inside and tried to forget about her, the guilt would eat away at him. It was like deadly bacteria slowly devouring his very soul, and he simply didn’t think his frail soul could take any more of it, else it would rip clean in two and leave him broken… So much worse off than dead. Also, sitting alone in that house, knowing that she was out there and in danger – he would stress himself into a stupor. That simply would not do… He had to keep a grip, and hold fast to his self control – for it was limited at the best of times. Oh, the time and effort his father had put into trying to teach him to control himself! He supposed he ought to be thankful for it, but he still bore the scars… Not only those upon his body, but the bitterness in his heat, too. He could never be thankful toward his father – even if the skills he had forced upon Kougu had proved useful at times… And would probably continue to do so.
Well, perhaps now was a good time to put those skills to use and find the girl – not that the sort of skills of his father’s choosing would help him much…

Sighing and shaking his head, Kougu brushed off his thoughts and stepped briskly down the three small steps away from the front door. He bounced off the balls of his feet, moving with a light swiftness. At the bottom of the stairs he paused and gazed around at the familiar surroundings. It was such an innocent neighbourhood… Everything peaceful and serene… It was like living proof that ignorance was bliss. The people in this street were closed off into their comfy little boxes – never exposed to the horror of the real world. That was what made it ironic, in a way, that he lived here… If the neighbours knew about it all, about who his father was, what would they say? He doubted they’d understand. They never could… They were simply too ignorant. That was what happened when you closed yourself off from the world, he supposed. He was living proof of that…
Kougu’s eyes scanned over the stylish houses once more, then he blinked and looked away – trotting down the garden path in search of the girl. The cool cobbling stones felt round and smooth beneath his feet – dampened slightly by the icy dew. It was a good thing he was paying attention to where his walking, by some random stroke of luck. Ordinarily he’d have fallen over already – and to be perfectly frank, he did not much like the idea of having any more bumps on his head for a while… Kougu began drifting off in thought, and his feet took on the swaying, wandering gait of a sleepwalker. Thus, it was not surprising when a short while later, in perfect irony, Kougu tripped over a raised stone and lost his balance. He attempted to regain it for a moment, but he slipped on the damp surface and lost his footing.

Instead of panicking or trying to catch himself, or even swinging his arms for balance as most people might do in the situation, Kougu fell with the resigned air of one who knows that he has been beaten, and there is nothing he can do about it. He fell back onto the hard ground – landing on his back and wincing when his head cracked against the hard stones. Typical… Ah well, he was used to it. Undeterred, Kougu sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to rid his vision of the stars that disturbed it. That was when he noticed the girl. Kougu frowned slightly, tilting his head to one side like a curious puppy. What on earth…?
Wait, was she okay?
Suddenly alarmed, Kougu scrambled to his feet and dashed over to her in one single motion, then dropped to his knees a short distance off – frowning at the limp form. Oh, charming! This was all he needed… “Hey!” He called softly, raising one hand hesitantly as though to tap her awake, but seeming to lose courage and draw it back to his side at the last moment. A slight shudder ran through him and he shifted back slightly away from her.
That was when he heard the approaching footsteps – accompanied by soft voices and the occasional high-pitched laugh. Panic darted through him, and he felt himself freeze to the spot. Great! This was all he needed… Why were there so many people around, just when his defenses were low? Kougu winced, clapping a hand to his head and holding it there with his face creased into a pained frown. He really needed to get inside… Soon! But he couldn’t just leave this girl and that-
His eyes darted to the infant, squirming in the girl’s lap. His hand slowly fell from his head and a strange expression crossed his face – an unfocused, haunted look, almost as though he was trapped in a nightmare and could not find his way back to reality. It did not exist… It did not exist… Kougu struggled to convince himself, but the squirming bundle was still there – still squirming – releasing the occasional little bleat. It looked… Just like her. Kougu’s shoulders slumped helplessly and he hung his head, his clammy hands slowly clenching into fists as the full force of his loss hit him for what must have been the millionth time – yet it never got any easier.
Those tiny eyes, the little fingers reaching out through the bundle of soft material… They could have been hers. Only he knew they weren’t, because she was-
Kougu shook his head rapidly, dismissing the thought and raising his head, unclenching his fists with the cold authority of mind mastering emotion. That thing did not exist. With that thought, Kougu turned his attention away from the baby and ignored it completely. In his mind, it did not exist. He refused to acknowledge its existence – therefore it could not be. The girl, on the other hand, needed help. He threw an anxious glance toward the street, but much to his relief – the voices were now melting into the distance. Thank goodness… Finally, luck was on his side.

“Hey…” He hissed at the girl. “Hey, wake up!” Knowing that his words were pointless, Kougu raised a hand, then jerked it down again with a frustrated growl. He absolutely despised feeling useless – and it this situation, he was completely and utterly useless. “Come on, just wake up!” Kougu groaned helplessly – knowing already that it would not work. He gazed at her for a moment – at a complete loss as to what he ought to do.
Then, suddenly, an idea struck him. It was as though a lightbulb had literally just popped up above Kougu’s head, for his features instantly lit up and he sprung to his feet – his possible solution giving him a flash of new hope. What was he thinking…? He needn’t be useless. There was always a way if one searched hard enough. It just wasn’t always one’s preferred way, that was all… With a faint smile twitching the corners of his mouth, Kougu dashed back up the path and took the stairs in a leap.
He darted into the house like a bullet – skidding around a corner to slide into the kitchen. He quickly yanked a few cupboards open until he found the one he was looking for, then seized a jug. He filled it quickly at the tap, then dashed out of the kitchen again. Just as he left it, he paused – casting a vague longing glance at the cupboard above the skink as his head gave another painful throb. He was almost tempted to- No. His medication could wait. That girl and her- Well, that girl was his top priority right now. He had taken it upon himself to ensure her safety – and ensure her safety he would, no matter what the cost. He never went back on his word…
Nodding firmly, Kougu clasped the jug’s handle tighter in his hand, then leaped into a sprint again and spun around the corner and back out the door.
He scaled the steps in one stride, then jogged back to where he had left the girl. Not wasting a moment in hesitance, Kougu jerked the jug toward her with a flick of his wrist – spilling the icy water in every direction. “Rise and shine.” He teased quietly – a faint smile flickering at his lips.

(( 0.O <--- the staring eyes of this post... And the glaring ones -----> >.- ))

Ria's eyes flew open as the icy water met the skin of her face, and she let out a loud gasp and drew her hips back and her shoulders up. The words "Rise and shine" came playfully from the lips of the thrower of the water who Ria had yet to study for her eyes had closed again as she rubber her fingers over them in an attempt to wake her self up- What had just happened? She draw her fingers outwards so they rubbed the corner of each eye socket recollecting the events of last night; a bed, a cradle- a baby! Her eyes once again shot open and she looked towards the wriggling child on her lap and she murmured "Eshe" her fingers gently touching Eshe's cheekbones. Her thoughts began to speed in once again, a man, a fit.... She brought her hands back to her face this time rubbing her temples. Why had she encountered him again? Her hands drooped to the ground as she remembered the assault she had made on the 'respected doctor' and how she had ran away. She ran her hands through her short hair, puling it out her face only for a moment, allowing a brief glance at the figure standing there holding a jug, but no more details that that went in before the shorts strands of hair were released from her grip and fell back in front of her face, blocking her vision. Ria tried to remember the man she met last night,her hands rested on her neck and dug in, her finger tips slowly massaging her spine, trying to match the two men in her head, though details were hazy to her, and her tiredness had thrown all out of proportion for this person seemed smaller than the figure of last night, though still a lot taller than she her self was. Ria tried to remember details about the person, but they were always too far and the light was too low to help her faulty eyes take in many details, she recalled his walk though, confident, yet cautious- a curious mixture- wait! His walk, she had followed him! That was right, but to where? Suddenly she remembered and her muscles tightened as she remembered him breaking in and how she knew she didn't need that. Ria hoped to hell this person was not the same as that man- or so her 'better half' of her brain told her, but she couldn't deny a secret, lingering hope that it was. Suddenly the smell reached her, the smell that brought it all back, the last smell- honeysuckle. Him, Eshe's father, and her the blond with the squeaking laugh. At this thought a tear rolled down Ria's cheek in a mix of emotions ranging from, unreasonable jealousy, to pangs of sadness and bubbling anger- No way. How could he do this. He left her pregnant- right after promising he would be there. After he eased her mind over what seemed like an impossible and moral (or immoral for that matter) over abortion. After she reached the point where she couldn't abort. He left her just like that, and he stole her money, her private fund. He left her broken hearted. And now. Now she knew, he left her for that bitch. Ria felt like getting up and storming after them- but then what? Ruin the girls pretty little face, the girl who Ria estimated to be at least six inches taller than her? When she herself could hardly run with out tripping over her own feet. No that was dumb, and what about him? Break down in front of him. No no good could come of it, her first priority was to find somewhere safe for herself and Eshe. And that wasn't here- she needed to continue on her way and get out of here away from him... Wait, him- was he this person with the jug. She cursed her silence for she had been sat here silently for a long time ignoring the person who had brought her back and into this world and thus effectively saved her and her child. She lent forwards, unclasping her hands from her neck and using them to pull Eshe close to her, staring down at her for a few more seconds before getting the the nerve to look up at the face that had helped her.

She looked up at the face and her mind half sighed in frustration and half in relief. What was she to do know? Stay with someone who broke into houses and most likely was a regular criminal or run off alone, helpless and with the added problem that he may follow her- after all he must of done just then? In fact he must of followed her once, then go away and come back with the jug, unless he stole it from a near by house, and that meant he had no intention of abandoning her. But why not? Why would he possibly want to help her, that thought worried her, as why would he want to help her. She feared his intentions at that point, yet still she trusted him. It was insane, why on earth did she trust him? All the warning signs pointed to run yet here she was trusting him. Like a puppy dog, dependent on them so trusts them to the core- but no, sure she was dependent to some extent on help, but not fully, she could cope on her own- there was something entirely unreasonable that caused her to trust him so. She realised that the silence must be getting mroe and more awkward she she muttered a quick "thanks" her voice breaking. What was she to do? Run or stay? Ria clenched her jaw and went to roll her eyes, but thought better of it when she pulled her self up to a standing position. In a happy way, Ria was shocked at her balance and general ability to stand, she judged by the sun she hadn't been out long, though that short rest was what she had apparently needed to regain her basic bodily control. Maybe she could run away no problem, maybe she could fight no problem; her earlier thought to go after the 'cutesy couple' intrigued her for a moment, still, Ria thought better of it. Still, running was an option? She could round the corner with out slipping or been caught probably, though after that... He would probably catch her, he seemed a determined sort. Ria decided she should try a different route. She wanted to stay with him, but she couldn't ignore the other side of her mind, it was the only thing that was the closest to certain safety... So what? What should she do. Finally Ria could not cope with the logic of her mind anymore and for the first time in a long time let her words roll out with out thinking and her actions flowing free and generally living int he moment. Much to her shock it came out in deadened shouts, that sounded like loud croaking gasps more than anything else " Please just leave me alone! I can't take any more trouble damn it!" one of her hands flaided around erratically whilst the other grasped onto her Eshe. "why are you even here? Are you actually trying to help me? Cause honestly, I am sick of the crap life is throwing at me, disguising it as something else, so just be dead honest with me!" Suddenly tears welled up in her eyes, yet they didn't stream down her face, she continued, not allowing him to fit in a word even if he wanted "Like him! Him and her... Where was the common decency of honestly there? Even now I don't know the half of it... It is unfair on her" her hand turned to gesture towards Eshe. "The last thing I need is any more problems, and I can tell that is what you will be. I wanted help, not to be in more god damned trouble!" she paused quickly contemplating the owrd 'god' and how seh used it despite her lack of belief in the typical idea of god, then suddenly snapped back into her reckless string of words "And breaking into houses sure won't help me there!" Her voice began to ease off as a slight sarcastic tone mixed in with it. "If you want to help, don't go breaking the law more than needed. Most people would of realised that. That obviously means you were doing it on purpose which sure isn't good news for me! I don't even know your name! Tel me where would your logic lie if you were in my situation!" She span on her heels, glad that her out burst was over, and ready to storm off, though still she turned and did something she instantly regretted; whilst pointing a finger at him she said "And stop making me trust you!". what the hell was that? She couldn't believe how stupid she sounded! Her frustration at him combined with frustration with herself and the situation and she began to power walk away from him, feeling to angry to run, tears began to fall from her eyes. She hated how life was doing this now. She felt like a game. It was toying with her- her thoughts, emotions and actions were all over the place- messed up. She wanted to turn back and cower behind him, safe from it all, she wanted to hold him, though she knew that would not happen even if she did go back, she would have to always keep her distance.. She cursed herself for thinking about him as if there was a future to be shared there, she needed to break their paths that had become entwined together and seek refuge somewhere else. Maybe she could find the warehouse? All she had to do was fine a place to relax and regain her energy even more until she could find where the warehouse was. she sighed, her life had seemed to circle around that warehouse now, it seemed the place to be, before she had to break free of the loop to get there now it seemed the loop only led her to one logical place, and that was the warehouse. She quickened her pace, in hopes to leave behind her torn heart and torn mind. Her mind saw that person as both a potential threat and the safest place on earth, and her heart was torn between the safest place for her daughter and the safest place for herself, both often locking on the same location, but both also hitting the same road blocks. And of course the biggest contrast in her was that of life and death. She knew which would be the easiest route for her, but still that seemed wrong. She stopped then and there to let it all out; she lowered herself towards the ground in an almost crouch and let out a loud scream of emotion. Hoping that in that scream she would find an answer.

Kougu was glad to find that the girl had awoken. A faint smile twitched the corners of his mouth, but it got no further than that. So he sat there and watched her patiently as she gradually gathered her bearings – not much minding the waiting, nor the silence, since he seldom detected such subtleties as ‘awkwardness’ anyway. Any form of interaction was awkward for him anyway, so what did a little more awkwardness matter in the end?
”Thanks.” The soft word tugged Kougu’s attention back to the present, and he turned to face the girl – giving a faint nod of acknowledgement to her thanks. A faint satisfaction tinted his expression as he she got to her feet – the sight filling him with relief at the knowledge that she was getting stronger, and recovering fast. She would be okay soon, and he would no longer be obliged to assist. Nt that he minded helping her… But he wished he had not offered to. It was too dangerous, too risky… A failure of his judgment. Then again, was he the sort of heartless swine who could watch a fellow human in distress and not do everything in his power to save them whatever suffering he could?
No, he was not like that. He would never be like that.

There was peaceful silence for a moment, during which Kougu stood contentedly and admired the girl’s swift recovery. Then suddenly, unexpectedly, the tranquil atmosphere which he now came to realize he had probably been imagining all along, exploded as though assaulted by a thousand sticks of dynamite – promptly going up in flame and burning down to cinders within the first minute of shouting.
"Please just leave me alone! I can't take any more trouble damn it!" The words leaped hoarsely from her lips, backed by a sudden fury that he did not understand. He quailed under her vicious tone, and felt himself shrinking away from her – like a dog cowering away from its master’s scolding voice.
She went on, then – her tongue lashing like a whip. "Why are you even here? Are you actually trying to help me? Cause honestly, I am sick of the crap life is throwing at me, disguising it as something else, so just be dead honest with me!" Her tone brought a timid trembling to his limbs, and Kougu felt each word strike his heart like an icy dagger – plunging in and ripping open once again the dozens of wounds his painful past had inflicted there – the ones he had tried to ignore… To deny their existence until they melted from his mind completely, only they never had. They hurt too much… And the worst was that they were not even real. They were all in his head, and in there his pained screams of suffering were deafening. Outwardly, though, he remained quiet as a mouse, and his expression was inscrutable. Like so many times before, Kougu hid behind an invisible mask that only the eyes of a hawk or a saint might penetrate. Sensitive as always, he was stung by her words. Not just stung, but crushed. Only he would not show it, for fear that the guilt he knew so well might strike her now. Nobody else should have to deal with that guilt… He would be unable to bear witness to this poor, innocent creature having to endure such suffering. He deserved her harsh words, and he deserved this pain. It brought him a savage pleasure, knowing that he was enduring punishment for his sins. He was grateful to the girl. Grateful for the pain her harsh words brought to his sensitive soul.

Steadying himself, Kougu prepared to answer, but before he could – the girl was raging on again, and this time he did not understand a word. "Like him! Him and her... Where was the common decency of honestly there? Even now I don't know the half of it... It is unfair on her!” Kougu hadn’t a clue what the girl was talking about now, but it did not matter, for she went on without wasting a single breath. "The last thing I need is any more problems, and I can tell that is what you will be. I wanted help, not to be in more god damned trouble! And breaking into houses sure won't help me there! If you want to help, don't go breaking the law more than needed. Most people would of realised that. That obviously means you were doing it on purpose which sure isn't good news for me! I don't even know your name! Tel me where would your logic lie if you were in my situation!"
What?
What?!
What on earth was she on about? Breaking into houses? Who had done that?! He certainly wouldn’t- Oh. That was when it dawned on him. Oh… She had seen him picking the lock, and had jumped to conclusions. Though to be fair, Kougu supposed he would probably have done the same himself. Still, what was this?! Some unjust court of law? Okay, so he had broken the law before, but not intentionally, not in that way, and not this time! Was this what she was so upset about? He was such a fool… Such a jerk for causing her such worry through his own forgetful stupidity! “N-No..” He stammered weakly, his trembling voice sounding feeble and pathetic after her yelling. “No… You- You don’t understand... It’s not-“ But his protests were in vain, for the girl had already turned her back and begun storming off. Kougu stared after her in dismay, and just as he was about to beseech her to wait, she swung around to face him again and threw out one last, waspish remark. "And stop making me trust you!" Her tone was accusatory, but Kougu barely noticed. His mouth dropped open and he gaped stupidly at her in complete and utter shock. That was one thing he certainly had not done! He always discouraged trust in him by any means possible, because he knew the danger! Stop making me trust you… No, you fool! You stop trusting me, before one of us gets hurt…
Trust was too dangerous. It was not worth the risk.

Kougu turned to the girl to tell her this, only to find that she was gone. Gone… Gone… She was no longer there, and he was alone. He had failed. Slowly, oh-so-slowly, Kougu fell to his knees in despair – feeling in his very bones the guilt of having failed this poor girl after he had promised to help her… To lead her to safety. He longed to go after her, but he dared not move a step, and besides, he knew she would not want him to – and a wise decision, he might add. His hope was slowly ebbing from him, when suddenly a strangled scream reached Kougu’s ears. Before he had even begun to think, he was on his feet and in a sprint. He dashed around the corner, and with just a few rapid strides of his long legs, Kougu found himself nearing the girl, who was crouched in the middle of the road and screaming her lungs out for reasons that were beyond him. A flicker of trepidation shot through him at the sight of her – fear of bearing the brunt of her fury once more encircling him like a white-hot chain. But he pushed his doubts aside, and crept tentatively nearer. Forgiveness was inevitable, for she had done nothing wrong – nothing at all – even if she had hurt him, and there was no bitterness in Kougu’s heart as he hovered awkwardly behind her. Only pity, and a burning empathy so strong that he feared it would show in his pale features.

“Hey, now…” He murmured quietly, his tone low and soothing. “You’ll hurt your throat screaming like that – please do stop.” He beseeched her gently, waiting for silence before continuing. ((Sorry for PP – but didn’t want to stop there and leave you with nothing to work with…)) “It will be okay. Just tell me where you want to go, and I’ll see to it that you get there safely.” He paused for a moment, then added a brief explanation. “I’m no criminal, okay? I’m here to help. I’m on your side… And though I must say you are completely right not to trust me, you can trust that my intentions have never included anything but to assist you in any way I can. You can trust my word, if nothing else. That much I promise you.”
Kougu dropped to his knees beside her – kneeling on the hard asphalt just a short distance away – desperate to comfort her, yet unwilling to break his own boundaries. “Come now…” He encouraged in a quiet, gentle tone. “On your feet, and let’s get you somewhere safe.”
He managed a slight smile at this point, though it as assaulted by a flicker of pain, and died upon his lips almost the instant it was born there. He was broken inside, and nothing he ever did could change that… But he could try to repent – to make up for what he had done wrong – and he would. Until the last breath left his lungs, he would do everything in his power to repent for his sins.

((Okay... A bit of a fail of a post *sighs* but what the hay bale.. It is done =D ))

Ria's screams ceased and very quickly a light lit up inside her as she heard the voice of the person she longed to hear speak "Hey, now.." it was no grand sentence, in fact it was uttered low and calming tone of voice, but boy was it the best thing she could of heard that day! She wanted to turn around and hug him, but though better of it and instead slumped down to her knees as he spoke his next words “You’ll hurt your throat screaming like that – please do stop.” She wanted to turn around and tell him she was sorry- sorry for everything and the way she acted... It had all been too much, and still she could not bring her self to turn and meet his face, not after that outburst or two. She couldn't even bring her tongue to move to make some simple apologetic words, she just stood there; mouth open back turned, emotions running high and pride running low. Sometimes, well, mostly, she loathed her self- her very existence seemed pointless, she felt like a prop, one to help show off the lives of others whilst hers been small and insignificant- yet here she was, kicking off a drama from nothing- she was nothing. It was all rather pathetic really. Her silence lingered the way the sweet smell of the honeys suckle lingered in the air, and in her memory: her mother smiling, her beautiful dark hair, eyes and skin contrasting and suiting the sun morning yellow of the honey suckle as she went behind the bush to pull off the delicate flowers, those were the sweetest she always said, and would hand Ria, motioning her to echo her actions, and after she pulled the stalk form its beautiful petals, before she drank the sweet drop that formed at the tip, she would say you have to fight and work for the best in life and always Ria would remember the cool serious look that would take over her eyes. Once again Ria felt a wash of empowerment fall upon her, no way would she let her self be her greatest fall- she would stand and work for the best in life. Before she could continue her though process any further, the man spoke again, “It will be okay. Just tell me where you want to go, and I’ll see to it that you get there safely.” she contemplated these words for a moment, considering whether the warehouse was her best bet with a stranger- she cursed that thought, he was too nice to her to be a stranger, she hated how she had to use such a label- she wasn't used to kindness full-stop, let alone kindness from a complete stranger. She would defeat that problem, even if he would find such things uncomfortable- she couldn't care right now, she was sick of making sure others were in the best situation- the only way to live is to push yourself and find your limits, but forever trying to expand on them. “I’m no criminal, okay?" he began to speak again, "I’m here to help. I’m on your side… " she felt like laughing out loud at that, sides? That was always an interesting word to use, she was never on a side, sides tended to be steady, safe and secure, she was more of a corner person, forever on the brink, never knowing which is right, all sides seeded tempting, but yet to be on both you would have to be on the edge- she was almost certainly a corner person. "And though I must say you are completely right not to trust me, you can trust that my intentions have never included anything but to assist you in any way I can. You can trust my word, if nothing else. That much I promise you.” Her mind turned and clicked at that thought- trust. she did trust him, what she didn't trust was herself, she couldn't trust what she thought she could trust as that trust was formed by none other than herself. Ria ran her fingers through her hair once more, she hated how much contradiction seemed to form in her life, yet it was always there- it was her life, one big contrast of idea- a complete contradiction. Ria felt like laughing at her own ridiculousness, still she had to fight her way through life somehow did she not? Still, trust, that was one thing Ria could never fully understand. For all the events in her life would surely of led to lack of trust? Yet here she was trusting a stranger? Suddenly it dawned on her, it wasn't about trust but who she trusted. All her life those who you would expect to trust turned out to be untrustworthy and to some extent, life destroying, but others? She trusted them like she would of trusted all if it wasn't for those events- in fact, it was a shifty looking homeless guy that helped her the most when she was in dire need. After all these years of confusion, Ria had finally worked out why she trusted in reverse to most, it seemed obvious now, but either way she had worked it out. At working one thing out, Ria was lit up with some more inspiring hope and spun around on her feet just as the man spoke “Come now… On your feet, and let’s get you somewhere safe.” Ria stood up, and looked towards the man, when a sudden though struck her, she turned around once again and strutted over to the wall and leant against it- unlike the last jagged wall this one was rough, but flat thanks to the well done job of brick laying.. Time to follow through with your thoughts Ria- for once she thought to herself and looked up at the sky and spoke in a soft monotone, "My name is Ria, just so you know. I am sorry for that... But as you can imagine I am pretty stressed, and confused. I was angry, not so much at you, but more at myself and him" she jerked her head to the direction she had seen Eshe's father, acting as if he were still there. "Eshe's father. I feel terrible, you have been so good to me. I feel as if you should know what you are helping with before you do your gallant deed of helping this mess." She closed her eyes, letting the suns now warming beams fall on her face, feeling perfectly calm for the first time in a long time. She continued speaking "As you have worked out, I am sure, I was running away from the hospital. The reason behind my flee from there was a doctor, a man who I have not had pleasant dealings with in the past, one I feel should be locked up in a jail. Admittedly, I over reacted, he meant no harm- well not then, his eyes still looked menacing though. See, he went toward my child, maybe to pick her up, or perhaps simply touch her cheek, but as previously stated, I have dealt with him in the past, as a young teen and instinct kicked in and I" she let her voice turn sarcastic "assaulted him." Her voice drifted back once again to its previous tone, which most likely had sounded rather creepy to the man "or as they were saying, attempted to murder him. I think he deserved a good clocking" She smiled at the pun only she would understand since she had never explained her weapon of choice. "So there, there is the most recent event in my life- I assure you, I am a sane person for the most part, but much has happened in my life, at an early age- I have seen the worst in society, so yes I can be skittish and quick to react, but personally I think I have done pretty well for myself." She opened her eyes and cast a look in his direction "Now, before I say where my chosen destination is located, might I ask if you think you are still up to the task of helping?" She ended the question with a non-existant pause before continuing "Help is truly appreciated, but I understand if you don't want to get involved in a mess like this, it could be worse actually, I have seen worse" she remembered her mothers screams, a flinch of pain rippled through Ria's entire body, as the door opened and the hand with the black glove holding a truncheon invaded the room- Ria shook away the memory before it could get any further "still for many, this would seem pretty bad, I understand that- so it is up to you to go" She felt bad, she was giving him the choice to leave right after giving her the stranger, a name- it wasn't fair, still, she didn't want to lose his company, as selfish as that was- of course she was assuming he was a good hearted person, he may still walk away with no worries- so she wasn't totally boxing him into a difficult situation. Besides, it was her turn to be selfish, though the guilt was gnawing at her leaving her in a situation of self annoyance. She shook it off and took a step towards him, closing the gap, just the slightest, but still allowing the air to pass through as if they were two people walking by each other on a sidewalk, rather than people engaging in conversation. Then smirked in a playful manner, in a feeble attempt to lighten the atmosphere, her words only echoed her smile "So what do you say?"

By the time he was almost finished speaking, Kougu was starting to become slightly nervous. She hadn’t spoken yet… Was she okay? Was she still angry with him? He flinched slightly at this thought – hurt simply by the idea of having to deal with more fury. He hated it… He hated it. But wait – she was moving now! He breathed a soft sigh of relief as the girl found her feet, then walked over to a nearby wall. His eyes followed her timidly – a slight tension creeping into his tired muscles as he awaited her response to his abnormally long speech. When it seemed she was about to speak, Kougu turned to face her completely, and gave her his full attention.
She began speaking then, and Kougu was slightly overwhelmed by the way the string of words simply fell from her lips in a dull monotone, almost completely without pause. For a moment he struggled to follow, but then it began to sink in. "My name is Ria, just so you know. I am sorry for that... But as you can imagine I am pretty stressed, and confused. I was angry, not so much at you, but more at myself and him - Eshe's father. I feel terrible, you have been so good to me. I feel as if you should know what you are helping with before you do your gallant deed of helping this mess.” Kougu drew in a sharp breath, slightly surprised by the abrupt, unexpected introduction. Ria… Eshe… Two names? But then Eshe was- Kougu’s eyes darted suddenly to the baby – the one he had purposefully forgotten was there – and he gulped nervously, shifting his weight uncomfortably from foot to foot and taking a hesitant step back, as though contemplating fleeing the scene. He didn’t, of course, but that did not change the way he felt about the child. To be in the presence of something so pure and innocent… He felt foul and unworthy. It was as though his own sins were eating away at his soul… And as if that wasn’t bad enough, every time he looked at the beautiful infant he saw her face… Kougu bit down on his lip softly at this thought, struggling to keep his overpowering emotions perfectly hidden. His teeth left faint indentations in his lower lip, but did not quite draw blood this time. The same words repeated over and over in his mind like an endless loop while his gaze remained trained on the child. ’I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…’ But how was that supposed to help? He could never undo what he had done, nor could he return what he had taken… He clenched his fists and dropped his gaze, struggling with the painful memories… Then he remembered the girl, and his head snapped up – the child’s existence swiftly erased once more from his tormented mind to preserve his sanity, at least temporarily.
He thought back quickly, and soon remembered what she had said. She was not ‘the girl’ now, she was ‘Ria’… But was that really okay? What if he did not want to accept her name? Well, it was too late now… It was imprinted in his mind, and it was too late for him to deny it… He only hoped it wouldn’t haunt his mind for the rest of his pathetic life. After all, once they parted – which ought not to be too much later – he would be alone again… It was only natural that his thoughts should travel to those few names he held in the clutches of his memory, and that would just remind him of one more thing he had lost, or at the very least give him one more thing to worry about. Wait – what on earth was he thinking? She was just another person. Just another name. Just another face. There was no reason for him to remember her, much less stress over the idea that her name might stick in his mind. What had he been planning to do? Just call her ‘girl’ all the time? That was not particularly polite or kind, even for him. He was just being silly now…

Calming himself, Kougu thought back over the other things she had said. Well, she’d apologised… He appreciated it greatly, but he wished she hadn’t. She had done nothing wrong – and besides, he didn’t deserve it… Oh well, it felt good to be forgiven, anyway. He let a faint smile flicker at the corners of his mouth, then glanced toward the girl. She was going to explain everything now… But wait, did he really want to know? Well, he was slightly curious, he had to admit… But did he want to know? Kougu was about to voice this thought, and perhaps suggest that she hold her silence after all… That she did not owe him any sort of explanation – but she had already begun telling her story. All that was left for him to do was to sit back patiently and listen – which was exactly what he did, breathing steadily all the while to keep his stress levels to the minimum.
He thought carefully over everything she was saying – drawing up the situations in his mind and attempting to calculate the appropriate distribution of guilt and blame. The way he saw it, Ria was guilty for naught but her motherly instincts. She deserved his help… He had expected as much. Though now he thought about it, even if she hadn't deserved his help – he would undoubtedly still have helped her. He didn’t deserve her kindness after all, yet she lavished that freely upon him. Kindness… Perhaps more accurately described as ‘common decency’ to most… But not to him. Decency had been distinctly uncommon during his upbringing, and thus he greatly appreciated every spark of it anybody ever showed to him. Yes – he would help Ria. To the best of his abilities, at least. He ought to be able to do something…
Feeling marginally helpful, Kougu felt the smile irritating the corners of his mouth stretch his lips into a faint, yet definite upward curve. Her next words concluded her speech, but he had made his decision even before she asked the questions. "Now, before I say where my chosen destination is located, might I ask if you think you are still up to the task of helping? Help is truly appreciated, but I understand if you don't want to get involved in a mess like this, it could be worse actually, I have seen worse. Still for many, this would seem pretty bad, I understand that- so it is up to you to go.

Kougu was about to voice his decision, but then something distracted him. No, perhaps ‘distracted’ was too soft a word… Ria took a step toward him. Not a threatening step, not even a big step, yet a definite step – and definitely in his direction. Despite the obvious good intentions declared by her playful smirk, Kougu felt panic dart through him. She couldn’t come any closer! His breath caught in his throat, and every muscle in his scrawny body tensed completely. She shouldn’t- She mustn’t- No. He could not let her get any closer, it was just too dangerous!
Unable to contain his pain any longer, Kougu gave in to the magnetic tugs he felt pulling against him, and stepped quickly away from the girl – as though he were literally being repelled by a magnet. He felt an instant stab of guilt, but he couldn’t help it… No, what sort of excuse was that?! Here she was, trying to lighten the mood, and perhaps trying to put him at ease in her company, and he was running away from her like some sort of overgrown squirrel! He was pathetic… But what choice did he have?
Kougu’s midnight blue eyes darted up toward her – gleaming with mistrust for a moment. Yes, the trust was lacking… He just could not let her get near to him, not at all. Especially not with the child- Not that it existed, of course. Some part of him longed to explain his actions, but somehow he dared not… Rather let her make assumptions. Nothing could be worse than the truth – and he was not ready to divulge that yet.

Finally, Ria’s words broke through Kougu’s panicky thoughts. ”So what do you say?”
It was a simple question, and Kougu was able to relax slightly – for which he was extremely grateful. “I, uh- I-“ He stuttered incoherently, still struggling to get his thoughts in order.
Get a grip!
Kougu took a deep breath, steadied himself, then replied again in a more dignified fashion. “The details don’t matter to me, in any case… I promised to help you, so help you I shall. Besides, I don’t see that you’re at any fault. Not really… Society holds law over conscience. It’s inhuman… It isn’t right, and I shan’t abide by it.” He managed a faint smile then, failing somewhat, but offering a slight gesture of friendliness nonetheless. “So I say : Show me the way, Ria.” He spoke kindly, his head tilted slightly to one side and his smile becoming more definite – showing a sincere amiability now. “Just give me a moment.” He added suddenly, a thoughtful frown crossing his pale face. “I must get something from the house…” He trailed off uncertainly – surprised by his own actions. He had almost said ‘wait here’. It was not for him to tell her what to do… And besides, why should he have any say in whether or not she waited for him? No, that was plain foolish… Kougu shook his thoughts aside, then briefly raised a hand to dismiss himself and turned away, jogging back toward the house.

His head still pounded painfully on each step, and Kougu found the agony draining on his strength. He had left it too long already… It was lucky he had got away when he did. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could take the pain… He was used to it, of course, but it was still such agony… Like having white hot needs slowly inserted into the soft flesh beneath the fingernail… Kougu shuddered at the thought, then tugged the door open and entered the house. He spared a brief, haunted glance for the heavily locked door to his right upon entering, then shook off the thoughts and headed for the kitchen. He rummaged through the cupboards for a while, until he found a tiny tube of pills. He removed it from its shelf, blew the dust off it, and shook it. It rattled satisfyingly, and Kougu was glad to find that his stock did not need replenishing. He popped open the top of the tube, shook a couple of pills into his hand, then closed the little container again. He stared at the innocent little white pills sitting on his pale palm – showing barely any difference in colour between the two. Shrugging off this face, Kougu tossed the pills into his mouth and swallowed them. The relief was almost instantaneous, and Kougu felt a long breath slowly leave his lungs in a sigh of ecstasy.

Blissfully free of pain – Kougu slipped the little tube into his pocket. It made a soft tinkling sound as it hit the bottom, and Kougu frowned slightly. He sent his long fingers after it, and soon felt the cold touch of metal on their tips. He fished out the object, and a chuckle escaped his lips as he recognised the selfsame set of keys that he was forever losing and forgetting. How much trouble it could save saved him if he’d just searched his pockets more thoroughly earlier… Shaking his head at his own silliness, Kougu jogged to the front door, stumbled through the doorway and righted himself using the door frame. He stepped through clumsily, then pulled it shut and locked it behind him. He jogged briskly over toward the girl, holding up the keys with a slightly sheepish smile. “Look what I found!” He announced as he reached her, jingling them, then slipping them back into his pocket with a laugh.
“Well, Ria? Where must I take you?” He asked pleasantly – seeming marginally more cheerful than before now.

Ria awaited the response, noting the step back he had taken, she wasn't chocked by it, in fact she would of been shocked if he hadn't taken that step back. His immediate response, was also no shock as he stammered out "I, uh-I-". She waited patiently for him to gather his thoughts, looking down at Eshe, and touching her face with a maternal smile washing over her own face. She peered back up to the man, who was i the process of collecting him self with a deep breath when he spoke "he details don’t matter to me, in any case… I promised to help you, so help you I shall. Besides, I don’t see that you’re at any fault. Not really… Society-" she swallowed and stiffened at that word society "-holds law over conscience. It’s inhuman… It isn’t right, and I shan’t abide by it." She liked that; that he could so freely speak up against society. Society was sick. Deeply so. Human rights? She knew all about the utter disregard for them in this world, she knew about the well known stuff such as Guantanamo bay or Burma, and she knew of the darker deeper stuff. The stuff that cost the life of those close to her and those she never knew, yet in their death they became close to her through the cause. She felt ashamed of herself, she sat back as society claimed it was the bright shining future, everything was done for the greater good- it was lies. They learned nothing from history. Minority groups are still discriminated against, beliefs that are effect the bigger situation are crushed in the cruelest of ways and freedom for all is either faked so we feel we are lucky when really are no freer than anyone else in the world, and there are those who are not even given that they know thye are not free. Ria always wondered which would be better. It didn't matter for her, she saw the truth, she lived the truth ever since her birth, form the everyday life of the 'small person' to the bigger picture and even caught glimpses of the gallery as a whole. She knew full well of the faults of society, and she didn't do anything, she carried on acting oblivious- she was a failure compared to what she was brought up to be. She resented that. She loved his open attitude on the subject though, despite it clawing at her own shame. She looked back up, pushing her thoughts to one side to listen to him say "So I say : Show me the way, Ria" she smiled both at his jolly choice of words and at the use of her name- she had succeeded in her endeavors to some extent at least. He had now noted her as a person with a name not just another face and this meant something, Ria hadn't worked out quite what it was, but it meant something more than making her human! She smiled at him and was about to speak when once again he spoke: "Just give me a moment. I must get something from the house…". Ah, the house, Ria had forgotten it, and he had seemed as determined on reaching it as she had been, and admittedly still was, the warehouse. A sudden sigh of logic landed in her mind, one she wished she had noted earlier before making her assumptions, no one would of been desperate to break into a particular house like that, to deliberately choose it from thin air and be so determined to find it even when been undeniably lost- she cursed her self for only noticing this logic now, it could of saved so much trouble.

When he left, Ria back-tracked her steps as to find the honeysuckle bush. When the sweet smell once again filled her nose she let out a soft sigh of bliss, the happy memories of her mother dwelled in her mind, however they were tainted, any memory of mother was- it bitter taste to the sweetest nectar. Ordinarily, she would of been able to block out the bad, but they stopped that from happening, when they molested her mind. she guessed that is why dealt with the physical uninvited intrusion so well, it had happened to her mind and for her- that was much worse. Ria picked off a honey suckle and twisted away its stalk and let the nector drip onto her tongue, the small sweetness of it alowed her to forgot life just for a split second and left her feeling somewhat mesmerized by the smaller wonders in life. She picked off another flower and tenderly placed it in Eshe's thin hair and lent in and whispered into her head "Too young to taste the sweetness my dear, but you supply your own sweetness for now" she kissed Eshe and began to walk back towards the spot she had just come from gently rocking Eshe back and forth and singing a lullaby. The name was forgotten to Ria but the words echoed in her head as her mothers sweet voice chanted them. Ria always wised to be like her mum, to her, she was perfect. But mentally, Ria wasn't as strong- no where near. Even physically they looked different, a 'gene abnormality' had taken place leaving Ria with her fathers pale skin, rather than the creamy rich shade that should of taken place between the contrasted skin. Ria looked at her skin in disgust, it was always a reminder of her father. He was a ignorant pig, Ria was glad he died. She was glad it was alcohol that killed him, she was only little when he died, but she had taken the force of his anger, despite her mothers constant attempts to intercept. Her only memories of him were violent, hurting her mother. Ria only survived on been able to respect the other part of herself from the knowledge that he must of been a truly good man when he wasn't drunk- he had to have been, why else would his mother marry him and move from her own beloved country? Ria sighed, then she heard the soft patter of quickened footsteps approaching and she knew he was back, so wiped away her sullen look to greet him with an empty smile she hoped was not see through. He jogged over towards her stopping a distance away, dipping into his pocket and out emerged the keys, Ria's smiled turned real, one corner of her mouth raising further and letting a soft laugh escape when he said “Look what I found!” and jangled ((jingle and jangle - was tempting )) the keys in front of her. He seemed somewhat more relaxed now, which allowed Ria's own muscles to soften and let her mind calm off a bit. “Well, Ria? Where must I take you?” the words left his lips in a manner that Ria hadn't heard before, it seemed less tense, and Ria liked that thought, that he wasn't feeling as tense anymore, so she responded as quickly as she could as to keep the situation from becoming uncomfortable or thought filled "The old warehouse- you know, that old crumbling building that seems to have become a landmark. I know a safe place there.. I think I can find my way to it from here... In fact even if you know the way, don't tell me. I feel like I need to find it..." she paused briefly contemplating what she just said "I hope that made sense... I doubt it did, thought I never make much sense. Basically, only inform me if we are going off track by mega proportions" She shot him a smile "So I guess... Follow me.". She began to continue down the path, listening to her footsteps and only hearing the mans footsteps after she had walked a good few feet away, careful in pace, as if tying to keep the distance currently set. She smiled and carried on walking

((Melons are bananas)) ** ((And bananas are purple monkeys =D))


Ria listened to her feet reverberate on the pavement, it had become a collective comfort to her. It was regimented and soothing, which was exactly what Ria had needed at the time. She liked the silence of the walk, the man hadn't spoken- it felt good. It was like walking alone in the sense it was just you and your thoughts, but better as the distraction of been alone wasn't there, nor was the company intrusive in speech of space- Ria was fond of that. Her thoughts had simmered over her common thoughts and recently sparked one, not ever falling on any form of conclusion, but still the mysteries had been unraveled that bit more, well most had, some had only got more tangled. Mainly, Ria found her self thinking about her mum, normally she thought of her some, but never this much, Ria could only put it down to her recent blessing, the small child she held in her hands now, once again she planted a kiss on Eshe's head. She hoped she could be as good a mother as her own mum, or at least half as good- mostly she wished she would never be cruelly ripped away from Eshe, she wished that Eshe's life would never fragment the way hers had. That wasn't right- not again. Ria suddenly came to an abrubt halt as she realised where she was. The grave yard. Not just any graveyard, but the graveyard. She forgot all about the man and walked mindlessly through the entrance, a black worn away painted archway, with dead vines entwining with it even after death. Ria looked at it, appearing passive, but really thinking of the deeper meaning to it, the way death hangs on to what is still there, keeping it alive through death by simply been noticed, in memory, and in this hold his damages that who holds it up to not be forgotten- that was death, right there. She walked to the first grave stone, a bottom jaw jutting out in disgust as she store down at her fathers grave, she uttered the singular word that leapt to mind "Disgusting" and spat on the grave, she held no respect for him- she couldn't bring her self to hold that respect and she resented him, and was jealous of the time he got to have with her mother- he was undeserving. She turned her back to him and walked on to the tree. She stood in front of it, its looming shape dwarfing the small figure that she was and then she knelt down and dug with her free hand. Some would of saw that and thought she was insane, but no, there was something here- a forgotten memory. Ria suddenly felt the root of the tree and scrambled her fingers in the mud, she had torn at the dirt quite quick, for her hole was wrist depth. Suddenly her fingers felt it, the cool hard metal. She scrambled at the dirt until her fingers locked on to it and she pulled it out and leant back against the tree tears streaming down her face. Her hand clasped the necklace tightly. She felt all the bumps of the oval shaped hand beaten silver necklace, and she felt the smooth stone that was int he very middle of it dig reassuring into her skin. This was all she had- the only thing of her mothers. She remember when she put it there. Ria was so young. Her fathers funeral, was undeniably sad, well for others, but as the same time joyous, Ria and her mother had escaped the pain of her father. Still her mother wept, and she seemed further saddened by Ria's happy nature to her Dada death and took her too the tree and had said: My darling. You may not see it now, but one day you will. I shall not tell you what it is, for that is for you to discover. But one day, I hope you visit your father with tears in your eyes and you take this at that point she had taken off the necklace she was wearing in memory of your father. Ria knew she had gone back on the reason- she didn't care. She would never forgive him, and this, this was the only thing she had of her mothers. And no way in hell would she let go. She rocked back and fourth, she had always dreamed of owning something, anything of her mothers and now she did and she felt truly happy. She sat there like that, rocking and crying for several minuets before she heard it- a crack of a twig. At the noise she shot up quickly and back away from the tree, knowing they would be there. He stuck his head from the side of the tree and spoke mockingly "Oh, sorry. Did I disturb a personal moment for you Ria" Ria took a step back fear trickling through her body, anyone but him. He looked at her with a cocked head, much like an animal teasing its prey then continued in that same mocking tone "Now you know you weren't in the house we set you up with when it was due for our little meeting- oh no. But see I can read you, I can read that midn like a book.. But you are a book who runs" He pulled taunting and sarcastic face as he lifted his hand and made tow fingers crisscross to look like they were running "and I haven't finished reading you. And you know how desperate I am to read the final chapter... You know the process sweetie. So why don't you make this nice and easy for a change "Ria's eyes searched franticly behind him, looking for the others. And she let out a hoarse cry "No! Please.. Just leave..." she knew her plea was pointless, they wanted the information locked in her mind, and she was powerless to stop them. She clenched the necklace, hoping that it would spark an idea off in her head, but nothing. She clutched Eshe close to her a protective expression falling on her face. He laughed a menacing laugh "Oh you have a child. She is useless to us, infact more of a burden. We will have to rid of her. Delete her existence." She hated his use of phrasing, it was so blunt and true, he would delete it, from the database, but she was still a human, why couldn't he use words like murder- where was the decency of been frank. He was going to force her through so much pain and he couldn't be decent? Rage bubbled through her body, but she was helpless it was just her and Eshe and him and the men she knew would be lurking back in the shadows somewhere. It was all legal as it was him- but it was so inhumane! Suddenly she noted him glance with surprised eyes behind her- oh no. Him, she had forgotten about him. She didn't want him to get in danger, but no, maybe it was something else he was looking at, maybe he had had the sense to leave? Ria lived in hope as her worst night mare stood before her. This was the one who kept coming back, the mind molester. The one who used her to find out the information he wanted that was locked so deep in her she didn't even know it. This was the sickness of society that most people didn't see, what her mother had fought against and Ria had tried to hide from. The one who ruined her life for ever. Rage, hate and protection was all Ria could feel right now and she hoped she hadn't spread this sickness any further than it had to go.