Me and Polo. :D :D {Can You Hear Me?} **Mature Content**

((Me too. They're all cute, and fluffy, and NHA! *Cuddles Nutty Kitty* ))

Sloan blinked in surprise at Rosa's quiet words - at first certain that he had misunderstood. If he had been feeling uncomfortable before, then there was surely not a word for how he felt right now. As such, he was rather glad when Rosa turned away from him - mostly because it saved him the awkwardness of trying to answer. The boiling sensation in his cheeks told him that he was most likely too embarrassed to string two words together anyway.
Best say nothing, and try not to think about it.
It's the painkillers. He told himself mildly, reverting back to old excuses, even if they no longer made sense.
He yawned, then turned away from Rosa, and attempted to sleep.
Unfortunately, the loud hammering of his heart kept him awake.

Rosa felt her heart racing faster and causing the inability to breathe. She climbed up out of the bed and grabbed her crutches. She wasn't even that way. Why did she say that? She wasn't even thinking that way. Biting her lip she tucked her crutches under her arms and hobbled out of the room. She couldn't and wouldn't bring herself to look at Sloan. He would never believe her when she told her she didn't mean what she said. She didn't even understand what she said. It was nonsense. Quite frankly he hadn't even kissed her yet and she didn't mind. She would be okay with it in the end, but wasn't going to beg him to kiss her or drops hints.
Falling back onto the couch she curled up into a tiny ball. Again she was alone. Because of her stupid words.
Silence is golden.

((Hahaha . When do you have to go to bed?))

((Whenever I like. Definitely no later than an hour from now, though. Most likely only 40 minutes - since the Polo does not stay up past 4AM. Ever. It always leaves me feeling horribly sick. o_0

Hehe... Aaaw, Sloan with his painkillers and Rosa with her silence. What will we do with them? XD ))

When he felt Rosa's weight leave the bed, Sloan instantly began berating himself. It was all his fault for being too cowardly to say something. He should have replied...
But even now, he didn't know what would have been the appropriate reply to something like that.
Still - whatever.
Sloan scrambled out of bed - tripping over the duvet and falling flat on his face. "Ouch." He mumbled, rubbing his nose.
Then he shrugged it off, and hurried after Rosa into the next room. "Hey." He whispered, kneeling beside the couch. "You don't have to run away from me, you know. I don't bite."

Rosa heard Sloan fall and bit her lip.
Great, now he's coming for me! She hissed mentally and sat back further on the couch.
She didn't say anything when he got there, she simply nodded and stayed where she was. He was probably just trying to be nice when inside he really thought she was a wh*re. She felt shivers run up and down her as she instantly felt cold and alone. Knowing she had ruined her chances of sleeping in his bed with him without him feeling uncomfortable, she was silent.

((tehe, I know. They're hopeless. I feel terribly for them.))

"Hey." Sloan said again, laying a comforting hand on Rosa's shoulder and smiling slightly. "It's the painkillers, right?" He prompted with a faint chuckle - wondering if Rosa would remember what he was taking about.
He remembered it... That day they'd left the hospital - that was when they'd first confessed their feelings to one another, after all.
They had come so far since then... Sloan certainly didn't intend to let one slip of tongue get between them. People spoke without thinking all the time - said things they didn't mean... Or whatever! There was no point dwelling on it, or overthinking it.

((The poor things. ))

Rosa took a deep breath before she nodded, still silent. She wasn't going to talk, no way. Briefly wanting to but pushing the thoughts away. Her voice was going to remain inside of her. There was no way it was going to come out. Hoping he would either leave her alone, or just carry her back to the bed she sat there, silently. Nothing but the sound of her beating heart filled her ears.

((hahahahhaha. 4AM? You're crazy.))

"Rosa, it's okay... Please, just look at me. Talk to me." Sloan pleaded gently, forgetting his pride altogether. He would beg on his knees if he had to... He just didn't want things between him and Rosa to get weird again, like they so often did. Not when they had finally been getting along again.
He slumped over, sitting back on his heels beside the couch with a vague air of hopelessness about him.
He was somewhat ashamed of himself... He could never do anything right, it seemed.

Rosa shook her head, she didn't want to say anything stupid again. And she wasn't going to risk it. All she seemed to be able to do was make things worse, never better. Reaching out she squeezed his hand to reassure him she wasn't upset with him before curling up into a little ball on the couch and closing her eyes. She felt tears pricking at the back of her eyes, forcing the away she still held onto his hand.

((Bed time for me. Nighty night! ))

Sloan glanced up slightly as he felt Rosa's soft little hand in his, and he was glad for the reassurance. It lightened the weight on his heart, if only a little. He squeezed her hand gently in reply, then lay back against the couch - staring at the blank TV screen across the room.
With Rosa's hand still grasped gently in his, Sloan began to feel drowsy.
And before he knew it, he was asleep - propped up awkwardly against the couch, with his head lolling sideways, and his limp hand still curved gently around Rosa's.

(( I'll miss you. XD))

Rosa couldn't fall asleep. Even when she felt Sloan's hand become a little limp around hers and knew he was asleep. She let out a shaky breath as she felt completely and utterly alone again. Slipping her hand out of his slowly she brushed her hair out of her face. How was this going to work? She couldn't be afraid of messing up everytime she talked to him. That simply wouldn't work out for either of them. Looking down at him through the darkness she slid down carefully off the couch before scooting next to him. She just had to be close to him, know she wasn't completely alone. Curling up beside him, trying not to touch him but desperately needing to she laid her head on his shoulder, letting his head rest on his. She was surprised he didn't arouse when she did this. Shrugging to herself she closed her eyes, fingers lacing with Sloan's once again as she let her body relax. Try to at least.

((You'd better! XD I'm back now, though. :3 ))

Sloan was in such a deep sleep by the time Rosa slipped to the ground next to him that he barely even noticed. Her presence registered somewhere in the back of his mind, but he didn't wake. He had been so tired lately... He really needed the sleep.
Feeling Rosa, fingers sliding between his - Sloan's eyes slid open a crack, and he went into that strange state of mind between sleep and wakefulness.
"I love you." He mumbled drowsily, turning his head slightly to drop a kiss on Rosa's forehead, then falling silent once more - his breathing steadying as he slipped back into his deep slumber.
It was the first time he had said those three little words so directly - and no wonder. When awake, he didn't quite have the guts.

Rosa felt him move slightly and went to pull away. But three words stopped her.
"I love you."
Her heart hammered in her chest, he had never said that to her. She had said it many times, but never had she heard it come out of his mouth. It had always been, "I like you." or "I'm attracted to you." Holding his hand tighter she leaned against him.
"I love you more..." She whispered, voice shaking from the emotions that were welling up inside of her little body.
He actually loved her, he said it.
Biting her lip she let herself drift off into a light sleep, she didn't usually sleep heavily. Thankful that he loved her back, or at least he said he did...

((Haha, I don't get up at 3:42AM very often Polo dear. XD))

((Well, why on earth not? XD We could have been RPing for hours! Haha!))

Sloan grunted sleepily in response to Rosa's words - not quite awake enough to hear them properly, yet letting his lips lift into a delicate smile all the same.
He slept soundly through the night, and when he awoke the next morning it was to find Rosa still leaning against him. He simply stared at her - watching her sleep for a while. She looked so peaceful...
Not wanting to wake Rosa, Sloan relaxed back against the couch, staring out of the window at the pale light of dawn that was starting to touch the earth.
He was quite content just to sit here with her...

((Hahahahahaah. I should get up at that time someday and we should RP. ON a Friday night of course. XD))

Rosa slept soundly through the night. Not waking once. When she did wake she felt Sloan moving. Curling up next to him she had to hold her head up in order to not go back to sleep. "G'morning." She muttered before laying her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes again. Smiling softly when she realized they were still holding hands. Not bothering to say anything more she just sat there. Contently, nothing was wrong. It seemed perfect. They had slept on the floor for Pete's sake, what could be more perfect then that?

"Morning." Sloan replied, glancing toward Rosa with a smile. It was strange, really, how excited he felt knowing she was now awake. He felt like a kid at a sleepover, so eager to spend time with Rosa that he didn't want to wait for her to wake up.
He sat impatiently beside her for a while, resting his cheek lightly against the top of her head, then finally spoke - unable to contain himself any longer.
"Are you coming with me to the barn today?" He asked, kissing the top of her head absentmindedly, then taking to staring out of the window again.
The sun was starting to rise.
He would have to get up soon...

Rosa let out a soft sigh and shook her head. She couldn't bear to see Gray, not when she didn't want to ride anymore because of Sloan. Because she loved him, and wanted what was best for him. And him worrying certainly wasn't best.
Not saying anything she opened her eyes and looked up at him, admiring him for a moment before looking away. She was glad he wasn't still upset because of what she had said the previous night.

Sloan frowned slightly, considering Rosa with concern. "You haven't been to see Gray in ages." He murmured gently. "He misses you, and he needs exercise. I've been lunging him when I get the chance, but it's not the same..." He trailed off, watching Rosa uncertainly.
He just couldn't understand... It was obvious she loved Gray - so why wouldn't she want to see her horse?

Rosa shrugged, "He'll be fine." She replied blankly. Though she hoped that was the truth. She had heard horses could get depressed also, and wished that Gray wouldn't. But, she simply wouldn't go. Not wanting to get in trouble with Sloan she figured she would simply stay here. It would be easier that way, and she hoped she wouldn't have to explain why she didn't want to go... more like Sloan wouldn't somehow trick her into telling him. He did that often.

"You can't know that if you haven't seen him in months..." Sloan hinted casually, turning to stare vaguely in the opposite direction.
A while ago he wouldn't have minded using such a mean trick, but now the guilt bugged him, so he turned back to Rosa with a slightly exasperated sigh. "He's okay, but I'm honestly worried about both of you. Why don't you come to see him any more...?" He frowned slightly, shaking his head in confusion. "I just don't get it. A while ago you were willing to fight me with tooth and claw just because I told you to get off him..." He chuckled fondly at the memory. Of course, he was glad that he and Rosa weren't fighting so much any more, but he missed her spunky attitude...

"Just because." Rosa replied softly, blankly. Her voice sounded hurt but she hoped he didn't notice it. He wouldn't like her answer, thus she wasn't going tot ell him or they'd start another fight.

((Sorry short. XD))

"You can't tell me?" Sloan asked quietly, his voice taking on a distant quality.
Suddenly, he felt cold. He couldn't feel Rosa's warmth beside him any more - because in his mind, he had shut it out.
"Even though you know it hurts me when you're always hiding things?" He added quietly - his dark eyes locked intently on her face.
"Somehow I'm getting the impression this is my fault..."

Rosa looked down, she didn't want to hurt him and now he sounded downright angry.

"Even though you know it hurts me when you're always hiding things?"

She didn't want to hide things from him. It wasn't like it was something extremely bad that she was hiding from him. Simply why she didn't want to go see Gray. Because she loved Sloan.
"Because I love you." She shrugged, it was the answer. However he wanted to take it he could if he didn't understand she would explain. But it was the simple and true answer to why she didn't want to go see Gray. She always seemed to scare Sloan somehow when she was around the horses, so she figured she'd stay away. It was easier said then done. Maybe she would just go and stay away from the horses... she supposed that would work.

"Somehow I'm getting the impression this is my fault..."

Yes, Sloan, this is your fault. But there is no damn way I am telling you that. She hissed in her head as she stared him in the eyes.

"Because I love you."
Strange... Words that usually would have made him feel elated, now sliced like a knife.
"But do you?" Sloan asked quietly, slowly getting to his feet, then turning to look at Rosa with a frown - trying hard to hide the hurt he felt inside. (Wow, cliche much? XD)
"Because honestly, Rosa, sometimes I wonder."
He watched her intently, waiting to see what her response to that would be.

Rosa felt herself shrinking, slowly. Down and down and down she went. Drowning in his words.

"But do you?"

"I'm not going because, I love you Sloan! That's why I'm not going!" Rosa's small voice finally squeaked out after several moments of deafening silence.
"I love you and I'm doing what you want. You don't want me near the horses because you're afraid I'll get hurt so I'll simply stay away because I LOVE YOU!" This time, her voice was louder and she could feel tears welling up in her eyes.
"And that's also why I haven't been talking, I'm so fucking afraid to loose you that I'd rather be mute then say something wrong!" Now she was just about yelling, and the tears fell helplessly down her face.
"I would give up everything I had and live in a prison cell just so you would be happy and stop worrying about me..." This time, her voice was soft, and broken, but genuine, it was so true. She loved him with all of her heart, all of it. Every ounce of her being...

(Dawh, that was a sappy post. XD hahaha. I suck. Ah well.))

((Haha! Naaaaaw, it was cute!
I'd like to slap Sloan with a rubber haddock round about now. o_0 Idiot. XD ))

Sloan was taken aback when Rosa started shouting, and he blinked in shock - staring down at her in disbelief as the truth finally came out.
He was glad. He felt like an ass (Maybe because you ARE an ass, Sloan!), but he was glad. "Rosa..." He murmured softly, biting his lip and dropping to his knees beside her.
Okay, so she was probably feeling quite annoyed with him at that moment, but he didn't care. He slipped his arms around her and pulled her close - hugging her tightly.
"I'm so sorry..." He whispered, struggling to contain the tears that threatened to escape from his eyes. "But Rosa, more than anything, I want you to be happy." He pulled away slightly, his hands resting lightly on her shoulders as his eyes searched her face.
Tears...
Gently, he lifted his hand to her face, and brushed them away.
"Sure, I worry..." He muttered, shaking his head softly, "But I always will. Because I feel the same way... I love you too much to lose you. But I won't have you giving up what you love for me." He frowned, setting his hands on her shoulders again and fixing her with a stern expression.
"Just listen to me for a moment... I love you, Rosa. I'm helplessly in love with you, and that's all there is to it. You'll never lose me - I can promise you that right now. So stop making sacrifices... Don't throw your entire life away because of me. All I wanted was for you to be a little more careful, not to stop riding entirely..." He trailed off, sighing softly. He didn't want to say any more. His throat hurt from holding back tears. But he refused to let them spill over, because he believed it was wrong for a man to cry.
"You've got to talk to me, Rosa." He murmured gently, his voice finally cracking. "Don't keep these things from me... Because it kills me to see you hurting."