Polo and Dreameh's fanfic RP... ;D Jimmy/Kougu [Probably mature]

Grateful that Kougu was letting the subject be for a while, Jimmy felt himself relax into the couch as he watched the show on TV. It was as deep as a puddle, but it kept him occupied. Kougu also seemed mildly intreagued by it for a while, at least until it had finished. Then he decided to break the silence.
“Hey, Jimmy...”
Expecting Kougu to try and bring back up the conversation he'd been denied of earlier, Jimmy groaned. Hadn't he said he didn't want to talk about it?
“I... I just want to thank you. For being so understanding and...” Oh... Jimmy released a breath he didn't realise he'd been holding. “For accepting me, even despite-... I don't know what's wrong with me.” Kougu admitted softly.
I do, Jimmy thought. You're insane, that's what.
“But you have to know that I'd never want to hurt you, no matter what. So, thanks for kissing me, I guess, if it saved you.”
Surprised by the confession, Jimmy turned his head and raised his eyebrows at Kougu, unsure of whether to believe him or not. Hell... He'd expected Kougu would hate him for kissing him, or at least be a little uncomfortable about it. But he was comfortable enough to bring it up, which surprised him. But still...
“Yeah, yeah. Alright, big man.” Jimmy replied, shaking his head and ruffling Kougu's long hair fondly. “I believe you, honest. Although I want that last bit in writing.” He teased cheekily, poking Kougu's arm in a playful fashion. He was glad that Kougu could talk to him about these things, but he wasn't great at it himself.
He got to his feet and gulped down the rest of his coffee. It was probably an unwise choice drinking it right before bed, but he had a lot of things to think about, and he'd missed normal, crappy instant coffee compared to the stuff at the hospital.
“You should get some sleep.” He said, poking a finger in Kougu's direction from around his mug. “I ain't letting you outside to train with a hole in your side. Take some sleeping pills if you have to.”
He brushed passed his friend to take his mug back to the kitchen, then headed back into the lounge to find the staircase. “G'night, mate.” But he dangled back around the door frame, glaring seriously at his friend. “I mean it. Get some sleep. That huge brain of yours needs to rest once in a while, you know.”

At first Jimmy seemed taken aback by what he'd said, but - in typical Jimmy fashion - he soon bounced back, laughing it off with a casual comeback. “Yeah, yeah. Alright, big man.” He teased, and Kougu flinched slightly as Jimmy's hand flopped heavily onto the top of his head, ruffling his hair until his whole face was covered. He closed his eyes, grunting in vague displeasure, and pushed the tickly hairs away from his forehead as Jimmy continued, “I believe you, honest. Although I want that last bit in writing.”
"If you believe me, that's fine." Kougu responded meekly, rubbing his arm absentmindedly where Jimmy had poked it, "You probably couldn't read my handwriting, anyway."
His handwriting was exquisite, but of course, Kougu failed to see that. A little too late, he realized that Jimmy was joking, and with a soft breath of laughter, he brought a palm to his brow, shaking his head silently at himself. He ought to have learned already not to take Jimmy so seriously. 
“You should get some sleep.” His friend's voice ordered firmly beside him, breaking through his thoughts, “I ain't letting you outside to train with a hole in your side. Take some sleeping pills if you have to."
He looked up to find Jimmy on his feet, pointing accusingly at him, and Kougu smiled insincerely in response. "Okay." He replied meekly, although he made no promise to follow Jimmy's suggestion. "But you know, the same goes for you. You could use a decent rest, too."

He watched silently as Jimmy vanished into the kitchen to put his mug away, then reappeared a moment later, and shot him a suspicious glare. Kougu blinked innocently in response.
“I mean it." He warned seriously, "Get some sleep. That huge brain of yours needs to rest once in a while, you know.”
Kougu looked at his friend for a moment, then his expression softened, and a faint smile curved his lips as he answered patiently, "Good night, Jimmy."
Once he was alone again, Kougu turned back to the TV, flicking aimlessly through the channels. After a few minutes, he began to notice a faint soreness in his cheeks. When he reached up to feel them, he felt his shoulders drop an inch in surprise. Somehow, he was still smiling, without even having to try. In fact, he hadn't even noticed...
Startled by the realisation, he quickly wiped the smile off his face and stood up, shutting off the television. It had lost his interest a while ago, and now he needed something new to occupy his mind before the demons of the night set in again, bringing back those haunting memories to trap and torment him. As the static on the black screen fizzed away, Kougu wandered absentmindedly into the kitchen, and grabbed himself an apple from the fruit bowl on the table. He rubbed it with his sleeve, taking his time to make the skin shine, even though it was nearly impossible to see in the darkness. When he caught the full moon's reflection in the shine, he shrugged and bit into the fruit, then continued to gnaw it down to the core. A few minutes later, the core lay discarded in the bin, and Kougu's insomniac wanderings had taken him on into the next room. It continued in this fashion for hours. He would find something to entertain himself for a while, until tiredness threatened again, and then he would move on. It was after one in the morning when his exhaustion finally became too much to bear, and in his fear of falling victim to sleep, he hurried to the front door and quietly let himself out, a thick hardcover book clutched tightly in one hand. He shivered as the cold night air hit him, hugging himself as he hurried over to the little swinging bench on the porch, and perched himself neatly on the edge. The soft howling of the wind and the chill in the air was enough to keep him wide awake, and by the soft yellow glow of the dim outdoor light, he flipped open his book and started to read. It was an old thing, and if the cover had once sported a title, then it had long since worn off. He didn't care, though. He scanned the words without really seeing them, letting the mindless activity lull his troubled mind, so he could hold onto the lie of peace that was so much easier to believe in daylight, when the world was busy and full. Alone, in the dark, it was harder to deceive himself. That was why, ever since he was a kid, he had always hated the night. It had nothing to do with monsters hiding in the shadows, or the boogey man crouched under the bed. No, he had never believed in all that. The monsters lived only in his head, and with nightfall, so his dreams became their domain.
He shivered as the cold wind bit through his thin T-shirt, and with the motion, the book fell from his numb fingers, striking the ground hard on its spine, and falling open to the middle. Kougu considered it for a moment, then sighed wearily. Bending down to pick it up would be painful, and after Jimmy had nursed his wound, he was tired of the pain. Instead, he lay back on the bench, listening to the squeaking of the chains as it rocked faintly back and forth. His dark eyes lifted, squinting against the icy breeze, to admire the full moon rising in the sky. Or rather, it seemed it was on its way down. There was nothing to do, then, but wait for sunrise, as he always did... Merely hoping that he could keep going, on and on, without ever closing his eyes.

Jimmy went straight to bed. He didn't brush his teeth, didn't wash his face, didn't even go to the toilet. He just wriggled out of his clothes and stripped to his underwear, then leapt on his stomach onto the bed. The springs squeaked which was a surprisingly pleasing sound, and he wrapped his arms around the rolled up duvet, digging his face into the feather pillow. He felt... Light, oddly. Tired, a little bit. But his stomach was twirling as if he'd swallowed a butterfly or two.
Frowning at himself, he rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling, squinting in the darkness. He saw Kougu's face, and although he knew he was imagining it, he stared at it for a long while.
What was it about that face that didn't make him want to hate him? After dragging him half way around the world to a foreign country, up a mountain, into the hands of some secret police... He'd witnessed so many horrible things since they arrived, and Jimmy still couldn't find it in him to be angry at Kougu for putting it all on him.
In fact, after having to save Kougu's life a few times, Jimmy realised he was starting to get quite fond of the guy.
Quite fond...
Without having memory of doing it, Jimmy's fingers found his lips, and he touched his mouth delicately as his mind wandered back to the kiss.
What had made him do it? It certainly hadn't been the first thing to come to mind when he was being strangled. But... Well, it's not like he could have done anything else, was it? It had saved his life.
So... Why couldn't he stop thinking about it?
The truth was, he wanted to know why Kougu had kissed him back. Jimmy had been so forceful, so violent, the kiss was almost supposed to count as an attack. It's point was to knock Kougu out of his 'homicidal side' and wake his 'normal side' up again. Bur he couldn't help but wonder... If that was the case, why had Kougu kissed him back, and why had he tried to match the ferocity of it? Was he thinking about Charlie?
Charlie...
Jimmy felt himself tense at the name. She wouldn't be happy if she found out. Perhaps it was best to keep it a secret.
Shaking his head, Jimmy rolled onto his side, intertwining his legs with the bed sheets. The kiss was just a sur of the moment thing to keep him alive. It didn't mean anything.
Except I felt giddy when I nearly ran into him, and the sight of him made me blush.
But that couldn't be due to general shyness. This was Jimmy[/i[. The ex-leader of a gang. He didn't get shy.
A little scared, maybe.
But no one made him shy. Not since he was a child.
[i]So what is this?
Clutching his fluttering stomach, he forced his eyes closed and went to sleep.


He slept light and restlessly, and when he awoke it was still dark. He got up to go to the toilet when he heard the squeaking of the outdoor swing beside the front door. Was it that windy?
Once he was done with the loo, he wandered tiredly downstairs to find the front door unlocked and the smaller kitchen light on. It didn't look like they'd been robbed. So it had to be...
Kougu.
The douchebag. Jimmy hoped he'd actually manage a sleep this time.
“Kougu?” He called, grabbing a dressing gown and wrapping it around himself – he had gone to sleep in nothing but underpants, and the American winter took no survivors at night. Only wearing one sock, after kicking the other off in his sleep, he waddled out to the front porch to see Kougu lying on the bench, apparently even more awake than a few hours ago.
Jimmy glared tiredly at him, then leant forward to rest his head on the door frame. There would be no end to this, would there?
“Mate, is three in the morning. Why are you still awake?” He grunted, turning his head to study Kougu with tired eyes. “And it's freezing. If you're going to be an insomniac at least be one that lives indoors.”
I should have never made him a coffee, Jimmy thought to himself, slapping a palm to his face. Idiot.
When Kougu didn't move immediately, Jimmy gave up Suddenly, the door frame felt like a very comfortable pillow.
“What is it?” He grunted quietly. “That keeps you awake, I mean. Nightmares?”

If he hadn't heard the floorboard creak as Jimmy stepped through the door, Kougu would probably have jumped when he heard his name called. But as it were, he merely grunted in response, straightening into a more dignified sitting position, and rubbing his dry eyes with his fists. He yawned, then glanced toward Jimmy to find him resting his head wearily against the door frame.
“Mate, is three in the morning. Why are you still awake?” He asked, sounding more hopeless than angry, “And it's freezing. If you're going to be an insomniac at least be one that lives indoors.”
"Sorry," He offered an apologetic smile, looking appropriately guilty, even though his actions were affecting himself far more than Jimmy, "I didn't want to wake you."
There was a moment of weary silence while Jimmy leaned against the door frame, and Kougu shifted uncomfortably on the bench, causing it to rock squeakily. He tensed at the sound, and sat still until Jimmy's voice broke the silence again, soft and quiet under cover of night.
“What is it?” Kougu looked up questioningly, “That keeps you awake, I mean. Nightmares?”
"It isn't that I can't sleep..." He murmured softly, dropping his gaze to the pale hands twisted in his lap, "Rather, I just don't want to. I suppose you could say it's nightmares, but..." A sad smile formed on his lips, "Imagination's not as cruel as reality. Sleep just gives me too much time to think, I guess. I can't afford to take that risk..." He blinked tiredly down at the old book sprawled on the ground, pages blowing softly from side to side in the wind. It made a soft fluttering sound, and for a long time, Kougu just watched it. It proved what he'd said, in a way. Such menial things of so little interest seemed to fascinate him on a level that no normal person could understand, and yet, they held hardly any importance to him at all. It was all an excuse - just one of many - not to think about his life, his past, and lose himself in the memories.
"The thing is," He murmured softly, then paused, surprised by his own openness. He had always been closed off and secretive - how could he not be, with his life - but something about Jimmy calmed and pacified him. It made him want to open up, because somehow, he felt that Jimmy would understand him. When he spoke to Jimmy, he felt safe, and that was not a feeling that he'd ever known. He swallowed, and began again, "Honestly, I'm weak. I don't have it in me to handle my past. Because of that, it's easy to pretend, sometimes, that it just didn't happen. Like I wasn't really there, or like it happened to somebody else. But when I close my eyes to go to sleep..." Slowly, his expression began to darken, and as he continued, bit by bit, the haunted look returned to his eyes. "When I sleep, I can't pretend any more. And to accept the truth-" He shivered, shaking his head, "I can't. Running away is all I know. There's no time to stop and rest..." He shrank slowly into himself, chewing absentmindedly on his knuckles as he stared desperately at the book, still flapping about at his feet. His mind was whirring now, and the memories were resurfacing rapidly, even despite his efforts. Suddenly, he began to regret what he'd said. Whether it was Jimmy or not, his thoughts were better off kept inside his head, where they were safe and secret. It was easier, kinder, to let them fester in denial. How else could he face another day? How else could he still put one foot in front of the other, knowing what he'd done?

“It isn't that I can't sleep...” Kougu murmured, sitting up on the bench and looking quietly down at his hands on his lap. “Rather, I just don't want to. I suppose you could say it's nightmares, but... Imagination's not as cruel as reality. Sleep just gives me too much time to think, I guess. I can't afford to take that risk...”
Both tired and intrigued, Jimmy decided to brave the cold and say on the bench arm, causing the chains to creak at the pressure, but it showed no sign of breakage.
Kougu seemed to relax at this, and slowly began to open up. He spoke of the fear he felt when he went to sleep, the fear of having to face the repressed memories he never wanted to face. Jimmy could relate to that all too well, from when his sister was kidnapped right to the trip to Mexico, he'd been haunted by nightmares. Most of them were guilt-induced, others were nightmares about his father and wishing he'd been there to see him die, to talk to him. But what was the point of guilt and regret? Well, he was at least making up for it by helping Kougu, and it seemed helping the rest of America as well.
“When I sleep, I can't pretend any more. And to accept the truth-...” Kougu paused, shivered and shook his head. “I can't. Running away is all I know. There's no time to stop and rest...”
He stopped, seemingly distracted by something as he chewed absent-mindedly on his knuckles. By this point Jimmy was looking at him with such tired, yet softly concerned eyes that he didn't even think about going back to bed for a bit. He had to sort this poor guy out.
“Take it from someone who's been running all their life, mate.” Jimmy croaked tiredly, turning his head to stare up at the pith black sky. The light pollution wasn't so bad here, and the stars were clearly visible. They shone like tiny pieces of glitter in the darkness. Perhaps it was his fatigue, but Jimmy found it a fascinating sight. “Running from something is okay as a temporary means of coping, but no matter how long you run,” He turned to look back at Kougu, his silvery eyes narrowed at the effort of staying awake. “You'll never escape it. Not really. The horrors always find you, and the timing is rarely very good.”
He studied the shadows beneath Kougu's eyes, deeper and darker than they were before. Poor Kougu really needed a sleep, if he wanted to be able to function properly, at least.
He didn't deserve this.
He didn't deserve the horrors that he had to face every night. But it was good that he'd told Jimmy. At least this meant they could actually get somewhere with working together. Not only did they need to know each other's physical needs and abilities in order to work the assassination, but they also needed to know each other's emotional needs and well-being also. Perhaps Jimmy had more work to do with Kougu on the physical front, but on the emotional one, he'd really have to try ad go to town on it.
“When you were drunk-sleeping, did you have any dreams?” He asked his friend, eyes twinkling in a teasing manner. “Because you slept like a baby then. I bet an explosion wouldn't have woken you up then. You were really out of it.” He winked. “And you looked incredibly cute, too.”
Despite his teasing, Jimmy soon realised what he'd said. Almost like when drunk, Jimmy would talk himself to death when he was tired enough in order to stay awake, and this was one of those times. He tended to say things that would usually have stayed in his head, but at the time it didn't occur to him what he'd said.
He leant back on the bench, shivering as the frigin breeze trickled up his legs and into his underpants, freezing his crotch. It was certainly not weather to be sat outside having a 'chat'.

The bench creaked softly beside him, and Kougu glanced up briefly to find Jimmy perched on the arm, looking up at the sky. “Take it from someone who's been running all their life, mate.” His friend began quietly, and Kougu listened obediently as Jimmy continued. Soon enough, however, it became clear that what his friend was telling him was only repeating what he already knew, and he didn't want to hear it. Worn out an exhausted, he sighed softly, rubbing his temples absentmindedly as he dropped his head into his hands. It hadn't stopped aching since his attack on Jimmy, and he had a feeling that the pain was not about to stop any time soon, now that his pills had run out. He was still dwelling on this when Jimmy finished speaking, and he was lost so deep in his thoughts that he didn't even notice his friend watching him until he spoke again.
“When you were drunk-sleeping, did you have any dreams?” Jimmy asked, and Kougu's eyes finally lifted. "Hm?" He questioned, tilting his head in confusion. He'd not really thought of that... “Because you slept like a baby then. I bet an explosion wouldn't have woken you up then. You were really out of it. And you looked incredibly cute, too.”
Once again, Kougu was left to blink blankly at Jimmy, looking somewhat taken aback, until he registered the wink, and uttered a soft chuckle, pushing his fringe out of his face. Despite the teasing expression on Jimmy's face, he still felt himself blush.
"I don't know..." He mumbled, "I hardly remember that. In any case, don't go turning me into an alcoholic. I've got enough problems." He flashed a brief smile, a hint of amusement in his shining eyes. But then, his gaze fell to Jimmy's neck, and he frowned. Was it just the way the light had hit him, or-
"Hold still." Kougu murmured, shifting over, then reaching up to lift Jimmy's chin with his finger. In the dim light, he had to lean in close to peer at the mark, but when his squinting eyes focused on it, there was no mistaking what it was, or where it had come from.
"You're bruised." Kougu told him, sounding rather upset by this, "Wait here."
Suddenly energetic again, he scrambled to his feet, then nearly tripped over the book on the ground. Cursing it under his breath, he bent down with a hiss to pick it up, then hurried on into the house, dropping the book onto the shelf by the door.

Legs half asleep from lying on the bench, he stumbled clumsily into the bathroom, and rummaged through the cabinet until he'd found the first aid kit. He scratched through it, making sure he had everything he needed, then rushed to the kitchen to fetch an ice pack from the freezer.
Why he'd told Jimmy to wait outside, he wasn't quite sure, but he certainly regretted it as he stepped out into the frigid air with the ice pack in his hand. Shivering, he clenched his chattering teeth, and sat down heavily on the bench beside Jimmy again, causing it to rock slightly.
"Why didn't you tell me you were bruised..." He muttered, a miserable frown still etched onto his pale face. The guilt was back now, and it pained him, but he paid it no mind as he opened up the first aid kit, and found a small tub of Arnica gel. "This will be cold." He warned as he unscrewed the lid, and dipped his fingers in, "Keep your chin up."
Getting up from his spot on the bench, Kougu dropped to one knee in front of Jimmy so he was looking up at his bruised throat, then began gently massaging the Arnica gel into the bruised area. It seemed bizarre, in a way, that the very same fingers that had inflicted those bruises were now the ones treating them.
With a soft murmur of satisfaction, Kougu wiped his hands onto his pants, wrinkling his nose as the sharp herbal scent burnt his nostrils. Then he reached for the ice pack, and pressed it softly against Jimmy's bruised skin. "Hold that there." He ordered firmly, "I know it's cold, but try keep it on, just for ten minutes. It'll help." For a brief moment, his eyes searched Jimmy's face with concern, but then shame got the better of him again, and he turned away to pack up the first aid kit, avoiding Jimmy's eye.

Kougu's blush was a pleasing sight, especially after everything he'd put Jimmy through. And Jimmy was rather enjoying teasing him, and he wasn't going to stop any time soon.
“I don't know. I hardly remember that. In any case, don't go turning me into an alcoholic. I've got enough problems.”
Jimmy's face lit up. Kougu was saying he had the power to turn his friend into an alcoholic? Well, as long as he slept every now and then, and as long he was functional most of the time, Jimmy had no argument.
“Hold still.” Kougu ordered, the bright smile disappeared from his face. Frowning at him, Jimmy wanted to do nothing more than squirm away from Kougu's touch, but, worried of what his friend had noticed, remained obediently still.
He felt Kougu's fingers trickle softly over his throat to the side of his neck. At first he felt nothing but the cold touch, when he felt them find a gentle bump on the skin that wasn't there before.
“What-” Jimmy began, then the touch made his skin throb. “Ow...” What was it? Was he bruised? How hadn't he noticed? Or maybe he'd been too worried to check...
“You're bruised.” Kougu confirmed, sounding rather upset by this, like he'd just found a knife in Jimmy's side or something. “Wait here.”
That was the last thing Jimmy wanted to do. In fact, he wanted to follow Kougu back into the house, wrap himself in a duvet and go to sleep. But he remained where he sat, hunched into his dressing gown, teeth chattering madly. It was far too cold to be just sat outside, especially when he was wearing very little beneath his dressing gown.
Kougu wasn't long, but by the time he'd appeared again Jimmy's hands had gone white with the cold and his entire body was shivering in a desperate attempt to keep warm. He nearly swore at his friend when he appeared by the door, carrying an ice pack – the cheek – but when he saw the horribly guilty look on Kougu's face he couldn't stay angry. He was tired and cold, but the sight of Kougu looking quite so miserable was rather sobering. In fact. Jimmy felt rather sorry for him.
“Why didn't you tell me you were bruised...” Kougu murmured as he sat heavily down on he bench beside Jimmy, who chuckled half-heartedly in responde.
“I never noticed.” He insisted. “Kougu, it's fine. Really.”
But his friend was having none of it. “This will be cold.” He warned as he smothered his fingers in some hideous-smelling crème. “Keep your chin up.”
“Yes mother.” Jimmy sulked, watching Kougu raise from the bench only to drop back onto one knee and frown up at Jimmy's throat. It was probably the closest Kougu had sat directly in front of him without having murderous intent, and this thought surprised Jimmy greatly. Kougu was usually shy, and not always willing to be around people. Yet now, with just the two of them, he seemed way more comfortable.
But Jimmy did as he was told, he raised his chin to the sky and prepared himself for the shock of the crème. It wasn't too bad, although it felt weird on his bruised neck. It was actually quite soothing, and soon enough Jimmy relaxed to the touch on his neck. He winced every now and then, but Kougu's fingers were gentle and massaged his neck with care.
Jimmy was about to close his eyes in relaxation, when the asshole pressed an ice pack against his throat.
Jimmy nearly wet himself.
“...The Hell, Kougu?” He wined sulkily.
“Hold that there.”
“No.”
“know it's cold, but try keep it on, just for ten minutes. It'll help.”
Narrowing his eyes at Kougu for a moment, Jimmy finally gave in and pressed the ice pack against his throat. It was horribly cold, and his teeth chattered at the contact, but he remained obedient until he felt the skin numb around his neck. Then, and only then, did he place the ice pack on the bench.
He lowered his gaze to Kougu, who was now busying himself on the ground, clearing everything away. He was taking his time, of course, because there wasn't actually much to clean away.
“Kougu?” He asked, leaning onto his knees, his eyes daring Kougu's to meet them. But they hesitated. So Jimmy tried again. “Mate?”
He didn't like being ignored. Releasing a frustrated sigh he grabbed a hold of Kougu's fringe and lifted his head. As soon as Kougu was forced to look at him, Jimmy took pity and released the man's hair.
“Tell me what's going on here.” He murmured softly, looking down on the man with a concerned frown. “And for f*ck's sake, stop looking at me like that.” He scrunched his face in distaste. “Like an abandoned puppy in a kennel. It's painful to watch.” He poked Kougu's head with two fingers in a teasing fashion,then cocked his head to the side to consider the man thoughtfully. “Is it the bruises? Or the fact that I smell like a mouldy daisy.” He snickered.

“Kougu?” He felt Jimmy's eyes on him, but it only made him blush as he feigned deafness, fumbling clumsily with the tub of Arnica in his slippery fingers as he tried to wedge it back into the box, “Mate?”
When he still didn't respond, Kougu felt a hand grab his hair, and he yelped in response - more from surprise than from pain. Like a dog on a lead, he raised his head obediently, wide eyes blinking up at Jimmy. The moment their eyes met, Jimmy released his hair, but Kougu did not look away. 
“Tell me what's going on here.” He opened his mouth to reply, then swallowed anxiously, shifting his gaze to the side and scratching his sunken cheek, “And for f*ck's sake, stop looking at me like that.”
"Like what?" He glanced back at Jimmy, blinking in confusion. 
“Like an abandoned puppy in a kennel. It's painful to watch.”
"Sor-" A pair of fingers poked him sharply in the forehead, and he broke off wrinkling his nose. "Ow..." He complained automatically, shuffling defensively away from Jimmy, even though it hadn't hurt. He didn't really mind the teasing, he just wasn't always sure how to deal with it... Pondering over this, he was surprised when Jimmy added, “Is it the bruises? Or the fact that I smell like a mouldy daisy.”
Impressed by his friend's perceptiveness, he swallowed faintly, then rubbed the back of his neck as his gaze dropped back to the ground. Even Jimmy's lighthearted joking didn't seem able to beat down his guilty conscience - it had eaten too far into him already.
"I hurt you." He responded at last, his voice barely audible, even in the silence of the night. "And I know you don't blame me, but..." He swallowed, not noticing as his fist closed automatically around a handful of his shirt, hovering over his aching heart, "There's no way I can just forget about it. One more second, and you could've been- I might have-" He broke off with a shudder, shaking his head, and shrank into himself like a frightened child. He was a master at pretending to be okay, but the truth was, he was far from 'over' the incident earlier that evening. The terrifying feeling of his consciousness slipping away as his hands reached for Jimmy's throat would haunt him forever. "I told you before," His voice grew quieter still as he tried to swallow the lump of guilt clogging his throat, "I've destroyed everything I ever loved. Now, even being in the same room as you, I'm terrified. I just can't stop thinking..." His eyes clenched closed, squeezed shut with the pain, as his tight fists trembled at his sides, "What if it happens again?"

Jimmy's stupid humour didn't seem to get through to Kougu, and he frowned down at his friend, watching the emotion flow out of him.
“I hurt you.” Kougu murmured quietly. “"And I know you don't blame me, but...”
“I don't,” Jimmy narrowed his eyes boredly. “I don't because you're crazy. We both know that.”
Kougu scrunched a hand around his own shirt,, clutching it as if he was having a heart attack or something. The poor guy looked so defeated, so upset, that Jimmy couldn't be mad at him. He couldn't blame this guy for what he'd done because it had hit him so hard, and all Jimmy had got out of it were a few measly bruises. And a kiss, but that wasn't really a bad thing.
“"There's no way I can just forget about it. One more second, and you could've been- I might have-” He stopped, looking even smaller than before. “I told you before, I've destroyed everything I ever loved. Now, even being in the same room as you, I'm terrified. I just can't stop thinking...”
Kougu looked on the verge of tears now, which surprised Jimmy somewhat. He'd never seen Kougu quite this upset before, and it pissed him off that there wasn't much he could say to make it better.
“What if it happens again?”
“It won't.” Jimmy sighed, then leant deeper against his knees and curled a finger under Kougu's chin. This time, he used that one finger to gently ease Kougu's head to look up at him, and when those dark eyes bored into him, he could feel the fear Kougu had been trapping inside himself all along. Kougu was about to burst, and out of all the people to be scared that had he'd hurt, he'd chosen Jimmy?
It may have been the time of night, but Jimmy smiled fondly at this. The poor guy needed to get his facts straight.
“If you go into the psycho mood again, I'll just knock you out. I didn't do before...” He paused. “I didn't before because I wanted to see what would work, and what wouldn't. If all you needed was a surprise to get you out of that mood, something as simple as a kiss, then that's progress, isn't it?”
His grey eyes flicked from one eye to the next, twinkling fondly at Kougu's concern.
“I had plenty of chances to fight you off, but I didn't... Because I wanted to see what you'd do. It was a bit of a gamble,” he half-laughed. “But it worked, didn't it? Plus, you are a surprisingly good kisser.” Winking, he raised his hand and ruffled Kougu's hair. Then, with a wince, he pulled himself to his feet.
“Now can we please continue this inside? It's f*cking freezing, and I can't feel my toes.”
He complained, waddling back inside as quickly as his stiff limbs could take him, and headed straight to the kitchen to boil the kettle. He wouldn't be able to sleeo until he'd drank something hot to warm up, and that might take a while.

“It won't.” Jimmy answered, but that voice so full of confidence only filled Kougu with despair, his shoulders lifted, tense and trembling, but before he could curl into himself even further, Jimmy's finger touched his chin. As though it were filled with helium, his head lifted, floating lightly atop his stiff neck.
His eyes searched Jimmy's, wide with terror, and even as he looked into his friend's face, he saw him begin to smile. The force of it hit him like a shovel between the eyes, and in a flash, the roots of his despair grew deeper.
“If you go into the psycho mood again, I'll just knock you out." Jimmy said, as though it were the most simple solution in the world, "I didn't do before..." He paused, "I didn't before because I wanted to see what would work, and what wouldn't. If all you needed was a surprise to get you out of that mood, something as simple as a kiss, then that's progress, isn't it?”
"Progress?" Kougu repeated softly, his voice low with the weight of his despair. He could feel Jimmy's twinkling gaze upon him, and though he heard the man's smile in his voice, Kougu refused to look upon it. Never before had Jimmy seemed so naive to him, so innocent and trusting. It was in that moment that, for the first time, Kougu truly believed that he had won Jimmy's affection, and it was an unkind truth. Too unkind even to understand, no matter how he tried. Jimmy had once been harsh and selfish, an unshakeable force, like a huge tree standing firm in a forest, anchored by roots that no amount of fury or danger could shake. Once, Jimmy had seemed invincible, with every shield raised to protect his own life. But he had grown soft. Kougu saw it clearly now... No longer did those mighty roots hold him in place, vast and mighty. Now they were reaching toward others - toward him - with a kindness that Kougu knew too well would be the death of him. He sensed it, like an eerie premonition carried on the cold night breeze. It was always those who stood tallest, in all their pride and glory, who fell the hardest when the time came.
You don't understand, Jimmy. He thought desperately, the lump in his throat choking him as he clasped ever tighter at his shirt, When I first invited you here, I hadn't a doubt in my mind that if I ever attacked you, you'd shoot me as soon as look at me. It was the reason I trusted in you, and - just a little - in myself, too. Even if you say you'll knock me out, I wonder... If I was too fast, if I came at you as I've been trained to do, what would you do? If there was no time to knock me out... What would you do? Could you find it in your heart to shoot me down like a rabid boar, or would you sit back and let me destroy you, only to drown once more in my own despair?
He closed his eyes, bowing his head further, for to him, already, the answer was clear. His once indestructible friend had fallen, and fallen far. The warmth in his eyes screamed it with every passing glance. 

“I had plenty of chances to fight you off," Jimmy pressed suddenly, when the silence had dragged on too long, "But I didn't... Because I wanted to see what you'd do. It was a bit of a gamble,” He uttered a lighthearted chuckle, which hit Kougu like a punch, “But it worked, didn't it? Plus, you are a surprisingly good kisser.”
This time, he didn't blush, nor did he try to laugh. The situation was just too serious for that, even more so because Jimmy couldn't see it. With his mouth set in a grim line, Kougu stared down at the cold, varnished wood under his knees, trying hard not to choke on the swelling bubble of fear in his throat. He felt Jimmy's hand ruffle his hair, but despite this, he did not move an inch - not even to flinch from the contact, as he usually did. He was frozen with the fear, and nothing Jimmy could say or do could ever take it away from him; now more than ever.
You don't understand, Jimmy. He thought desperately, You don't know what I've done, and you don't know what I'm capable of. If you underestimate me like this, it isn't a question of 'if'... It's a question of 'when'.
"Jimmy..." He tried softly, whispering through a throat which felt raw with the effort of choking down his fear, "It isn't that simple. You don't-"
But Jimmy wasn't listening, and Kougu's words were lost in the breeze as his friend pressed with what could only be described as grumpy cheer, “Now can we please continue this inside? It's f*cking freezing, and I can't feel my toes.”
The weight of despair hit him hard, stunning him momentarily as the uncomfortable swooping of anxiety fluttered through his stomach, raising goosebumps on his skin. As he shivered and rubbed them away, he slowly gathered up the shattered pieces of his defenses, packing his emotions safely back in the box where they were doomed always to live.
"Okay." He said at least, breathing out a heavy sigh, and pushing back his fringe with the air of one trying to regain his composure, even though the terror raged sharper than ever within, "You're right, this is stupid..." He struggled to his feet, managing a faint, sheepish smile as he rubbed his arm, "Let's get inside."

Without another complaint, he followed Jimmy inside and closed the door behind him, shutting out the moment of cruel reality as though it had never happened. With a shiver that had nothing to do with the cold, he followed Jimmy into the kitchen, and began rummaging through the cupboards, helping his friend to prepare his drink. "Want some Chamomile tea?" He offered, his voice slightly muffled as he dived to the back of the cupboard, emerging with the box of tea bags in hand, "It's great for helping you sleep, and it tastes pretty good with a dash of honey." He pushed the box toward Jimmy, followed by a small bottle of natural honey. His mother had loved tea - that was the one tradition she had taken from the time spent living in Japan - and during the few precious moments that she and Kougu had spent together, she had taught him what she knew. As a child, it was the tea that had helped him sleep. He had not really tasted it since then.
"Have some." He pressed as he glanced at Jimmy, looking surprisingly settled for a person who had just suffered a near-breakdown. "You'll need your sleep. We have to get back to training tomorrow." Reaching for a glass, he poured himself a glass of water, and sipped at it tentatively. It was good. Until that moment, he'd not even realized that he was sweating.

Kougu took a while to get himself together, but Jimmy didn't wait for him as he entered the kitchen to turn the kettle on. It didn't matter anyway, because Kougu was soon by his side again, and the back door was firmly closed, trapping there in luxurious, warm air once again.
He was about to pour himself a mug of hot water when he head Kougu's voice beside him.
“Want some Chamomile tea?”
He was going to tell Kougu that no, he didn't wan chamomile tea because he had balls, but then Kougu went on to continue.
“It's great for helping you sleep, and it tastes pretty good with a dash of honey.”
Jimmy carefully picked up the 'helping you sleep', and narrowed his eyes. Was Kougu implying that he was the one that needed sleep? After he was the one that woke himself up to find Kougu sat outside at three in the morning?
“Have some.” Kougu pressed, pushing the box of tea bags in Jimmy's direction. “You'll need your sleep. We have to get back to training tomorrow.”
He nearly laughed outloud, but he was far too tired for that. He needed sleep? Was Kougu pulling a funny?
“Alright.” Jimmy replied carefully, pulling out a pair of tea bags, and placing them on the counter y the kettle. “I'll have some if you do too.”
You won't win me over that easily, mate. I wanna see you have at least an hour or two's worth of sleep before any training.
It was then when Jimmy noticed the sweat glistening on his friend's brow, and his expression changed completely. Gone was the joking, light-hearted Jimmy. Now he was seriously concerned.
“You're in a cold sweat.” He frowned, noticing Kougu's thin t-shirt and pyjama pants. How long had he been outside wearing that? With his injuries as well? “Are you-” He was going to say 'crazy' but that was a stupid question. Frowning in concern, he took off his dressing gown, despite how cold he was from being outside, and wrapped it around Kougu's shoulders.
“I know you survived a bullet, mate, but it doesn't mean you're invincible.” He mumbled, teeth chattering as he ripped the blanket from the top of the sofa and wrapped that around himself. Come to think of it, a cup of camomile tea wasn't such a bad idea.
Forgetting about his dare, he prepared himself a cup of tea, trickling some honey in also, and cupped his hands around the mug with a a pleased sigh. It didn't taste too bad, come to think of it. Much better than regular hot water.

Kougu sighed heavily at Jimmy's response, shaking his head in incredulous amusement. "You're incorrigible." He muttered, "I don't need to sleep. I was out for ages in the hospital..." He trailed off when he saw Jimmy's expression falter, changing so suddenly from lighthearted to grim, that Kougu actually looked over his shoulder to see if the Reaper himself had walked in the door. When he saw nothing out of the ordinary, he looked back at Jimmy, blinking questioningly. "What?"
“You're in a cold sweat.”
"Hm?" He raised a hand, turning it over curiously to study the beads of sweat forming on his palm. 
“Are you-” Jimmy started asking him something, then seemed to think better of it, and bundled the dressing gown around his shoulders instead. 
"What are you doing?" He asked as he pulled the gown more securely around his shoulders, shivering faintly as he shrunk away from Jimmy. For a moment, his troubles were forgotten in light of his friend's unexpected kindness, and for the first time, Kougu realized that Jimmy was, in fact, rather sparsely dressed. Swallowing awkwardly, he glanced away, shrinking into the dressing gown to hide the colour in his cheeks. He wasn't sure why it affected him so much... Perhaps he simply wasn't used to seeing people undressed in his presence. In any case, it left him feeling suddenly shy, as though he were the one standing in his underwear instead of Jimmy.
“I know you survived a bullet, mate, but it doesn't mean you're invincible.” His friend added beside him, pulling him back out of his thoughts as he wrapped himself in a blanket, covering up his skin once more.
"I'm-" Kougu cleared his throat awkwardly, [i]"I'm okay. Here." He hurried to the kitchen counter, fleeing from Jimmy, and reached up to the top shelf, where a fresh packet of Tennis biscuits lay waiting. He plucked them down off the shelf, then shook a few into a ceramic bowl, and handed it to Jimmy, cheeks still faintly rosy as he managed a subtle smile. "Not bad, right?" He said, gesturing to the tea in Jimmy's hand, then pulling the gown more firmly around his shoulders again. He wasn't sure why he suddenly felt so anxious and flustered, with his heart fluttering like a little bird in his chest. If Jimmy hadn't been there, he would probably have discarded the warm gown and laid down on the cold tiled floor just to chase away the uncomfortable heat in his skin. It was a confusing feeling, and certainly not one that he recognized from any illness or ailment he'd suffered before.
"I wonder what's on TV..." He mumbled innocently, diving at the excuse to flee the scene. He scurried timidly out of the kitchen, then sat down in his usual spot on the couch, and turned on the TV to some weird game show channel. He pretended to watch, but honestly, all he could think about was the rapid beating of his heart, so strange and unfamiliar. Try as he might, he just couldn't get a grip on it. It was racing. Racing, racing, for no reason at all...

Jimmy was glad to see the colour return to Kougu's cheeks, although he didn't realise then what had caused Kougu to blush so much. All Jimmy knew by this point thathe was cold, and wa s now displaying his chest to his friend. But he no longer cared. He was tired, and the blanket around him was warm and incredibly soft...
“I'm okay. Here.” Kougu scuttled away from him back to the kitchen. He was gone for a few moments, but came back with a plate full of biscuits. Jimmy chuckled at his logic.
Tea? Biscuits? Had he turned into a granny, now?
“Not bad, right?” Kougu's face was still slightly flushed, although it was unclear why. Ignoring this, Jimmy grabbed one and took a bite out of it. He then took a sip of his tea, and, as Kougu had promised, they were what he needed. The warmth of the tea took the chill from inside him, and the soggy biscuit in his mouth gave him that child-like happiness from getting candy than had stuck with him until even now.
“It's... Alright.” Jimmy admitted reluctantly, denying that Kougu was winning him over with tea and biscuits. “What's your point?”
But Kougu ignored him. Instead he disappeared to the sofa and turned on the TV, mumbling something innocently under his breath. Jimmy narrowed his etes suspiciously at the man, but he was feeling so spoilt that he couldn't be angry at Kougu. He slurped at his tea, closing his eyes with soft murmuring sound, and then followed his friend with a calm look on his face.
“No.” He argued, reaching down and turning the TV off. The room went from a dull light to almost pitch black. He then placed the plate of biscuits and his tea on a side table.
“Kougu...” He sighed, leaning a knee onto the sofa so he was half sitting, half standing beside his friend. “I need sleep. You need sleep, more importantly. Listen, I know you hate it, and I'm sure I would too if I were you. But... We've gone through a lot since we got here, and you have a hole in your side. You'll get worse if you don't give yourself time to rest. So I'm begging you,” He sat down properly this time, knotting his hands together in a pleading gesture and putting on his best 'crying' face. “I'm begging you, I'm tired and you're tired and I miss my bed and I'm gunna cry if you don't go to bed for one hour. One hour. Please.” His eyes widened in pretend desperation. “I'll come sit with you if you want. Just... One hour. Then I promise I'll leave it alone.”
Well that was a lie, but Kougu didn't need to know that, did he?

Kougu was just starting to understand the game show, when Jimmy suddenly appeared beside him, and snatched away the remote, turning off the TV in a flash. "No." He said firmly, and Kougu cowered away like a scolded dog.
“Kougu...” Jimmy leaned onto the couch cushion beside him, and Kougu looked hesitantly up, finding his friend's face as his eyes adjusted to the gloom, “I need sleep. You need sleep, more importantly. Listen, I know you hate it, and I'm sure I would too if I were you. But... We've gone through a lot since we got here, and you have a hole in your side. You'll get worse if you don't give yourself time to rest. So I'm begging you,” Kougu shifted uncomfortably, but when he glanced back toward Jimmy to launch his counter-argument, he found his friend looking up at him with the most ridiculous pouting expression he'd seen in his life. Despite himself, a bark of laughter escaped his lips, and he slapped a hand over his mouth in surprise, muffling the unfamiliar sound. He couldn't help it - those big puppydog eyes looked so ridiculously out of place on Jimmy's face that just the thought of it was enough to make him grin.
“I'm begging you," Jimmy pressed, "I'm tired and you're tired and I miss my bed and I'm gunna cry if you don't go to bed for one hour. One hour. Please. I'll come sit with you if you want. Just... One hour. Then I promise I'll leave it alone.”
Kougu looked at him again, and when he met those wide, pleading eyes, he laughed again despite himself. "Okay, okay." He relented, pushing Jimmy's face away, and getting to his feet. "Fine, you win." He brushed some imaginary dust off his knees, then straightened up, a faint smile still lingering about his lips. "Stop looking at me like that, and I'll try get some sleep, provided you stay in your own room, where I can't wake up and throttle you by accident. I'm serious."
Looking less serious than he sounded, Kougu released a defeated breath of laughter, and pushed his soft fringe away from his face, freeing his eyes to see in the gloom. "Good night, Jimmy." He sighed wearily, "You win." Although I'll probably regret this...
Sighing softly, he shook his head, then trudged reluctantly into his room, and collapsed onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Within seconds, he was already feeling tired. So slowly, hesitantly, he let his tired eyes creep shut, fearing already what sort of horrors sleep was sure to bring.

Jimmy knew by Kougu's reaction that he wasn't going to get mocked, because his friend wasn't that sort of person. So when he heard the rare laughing sound coming from behind Kougu's hand, he knew he'd won. Grinning proudly, he shook his head in amusement and leant coolly back against the sofa arm. There was another card to play in order to get what he wanted. Kougu was even softer than he'd first predicted.
“Okay, okay. Fine, you win.” Kougu murmured, finally admitted defeat and pushed Jimmy's face away. The contact was unexpected, and Jimmy grunted in a sulking fashion and pulled back an inch or two. “Stop looking at me like that, and I'll try get some sleep, provided you stay in your own room, where I can't wake up and throttle you by accident. I'm serious.”
“Sure, sure.” Jimmy cooed. “I believe you.”
The floorboards creaked as Kougu got to his feet, and jImmy could almost hear the smile in his breathing. “Good night, Jimmy. You win.”
“I do.” Jimmy replied with a swagger. “And you're still a softy.” He grinned, then released a yawn he didn't realise he'd been holding. “Go to bed.”
Feeling rather pleased with himself, Jimmy grabbed his mug of tea and biscuits and trudged upstairs to his own room. It took all his control to keep from spilling his food and drink, but as soon as they were on the bedside table he collapsed on the bed with a happy little murmur. The sun hadn't quite risen yet, which meant he still had a couple of hours left.
A well-earned sleep, if you ask me.” He thought just before he dozed off. “And I deserve a sleep-in.

As tired as he was, Kougu fell asleep almost the very second his eyes slid shut. But even despite his exhaustion, his sleep was not a peaceful one. As soon as he let himself slip away from reality, the nightmares began circling like vultures around some poor dying creature. Then, as he slipped deeper into his resting, they launched the attack, filling his mind with images far worse than any twisted horror story or heartstopping thriller. Like a broken record, he heard their screams. His mother's pleading sobs echoed through the chasms of his mind, and he began tossing in his sleep, muttering into the pillow as the sheets twisted around him like chains, strapping him down. Sweat poured from his flailing body, and as it chilled him to a shivering, trembling mess, he suddenly woke with a start, gulping in the air so suddenly that it choked him. For a moment he swore he was suffocating, and he thrashed about in the blankets, then a rasping cough shook his body, exhausting his weary muscles so he fell back flat on his back, chest rising and falling rapidly as he stared up at the ceiling, catching his breath.
"It's just a dream..." He murmured to himself from between trembling lips, "Just a dream. Just a dream..."
With a deep, shuddering breath, he slowly untangled himself from between the sheets, then pulled his blanket carefully over himself, and stared up nervously at the ceiling again. A soft grey light was creeping through the window, but it was not yet early enough to warrant getting up and walking about. Jimmy would scold him. Still...
He wiped the sweat from his forehead, grimacing at the wetness. "I'm soaked..." He muttered to himself, pinching his sweat-drenched T-shirt, and pulling it away from his chest. He could feel the salt stinging the wound on his side, and as the pain hit him more strongly, he realized that he would be mad to try and sleep again. Or so he told himself, anyway. Jimmy had said an hour, and he had slept for two - maybe. Wasn't that good enough?
Only half convinced, he clambered clumsily out of the bed, leaving the twisted sheets behind to shuffle into the bathroom, looking rather like a zombie. He closed the door behind him, then turned on the shower, and peeled off his shirt. The bandage beneath had sickly pink ripples dyed into it from the mix of sweat and blood, and he pulled a face as he unwound it, discarding the soiled thing into the waste basket below the sink. After prodding briefly at his wound to check that it was still closed, he stripped off the rest of his clothes and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water beat down on his hunched shoulders. The shadow of his nightmares still haunted the edges of his vision, and he shuddered from time to time under the steaming jet, silently rubbing soap into his skin with mechanical movements. It took at least a half hour before he felt fully clean again.
Still in a daze, he climbed out of the shower and grabbed a towel, dripping onto the slippery tiles underfoot. He tossed the towel around his shoulders, then grabbed a pair of clean boxers and stepped into them, yawning absentmindedly. He hadn't thought to bring any clothes in with him.
Shrugging, he tied the towel around his waist and let himself out of the bathroom, yawning and stretching his arms over his head. With a mind still foggy from the nightmares, he trudged robotically back toward his room, dragging his feet along the ground, and rubbing his face absentmindedly with a shaky fist.

Jimmy slept like a log for the rest of the night, and when he awoke he had a blonde bedhead to the extreme, eyes barely open, and the stupidest grin he'd ever worn. He looked very much like he was drunk, or had just had an extremely pleasurable night stand. But it was obvious the sleep had done him good.
Except he was starting to regret the huge mug of tea he'd had just before bed a few hours earlier. When he felt a sudden pressure on his bladder his eyes widened, and the smile sank from his face.
With an uncomfortable look on his face, he jumped to his feet and stumbled out of his room towards the bathroom.
He was so dozed and concentrated on getting to his destination that he didn't see Kougu on the corridor, soaked from his shower, and with the strange slap of bare skin hitting bear skin Jimmy ran straight into his friend, nearly winding himself in the process. He grabbed Kougu by the shoulders to keep himself from falling backwards like an idiot, and swore under his breath. When he glanced down to confirm what he'd walked into, he realised Kougu wasn't dressed either.
“Um...” Jimmy leapt back, cheeks turning rosey, and looked back up at Kougu's face. He looked as startled as Jimmy, and with his long, black hair flopped wetly over his eyes he looked incredibly cute. His dark eyes peeped out from behind the strands of soggy hair, and for a moment Jimmy forgot the correct reaction.
“Uh... You... Morning.” He replied awkwardly, grinning at his friend and scratching the back of his head. It didn't matter to him that he was still in his underwear too, but seeing Kougu walking around in only a towel and a pair of boxers was something else. He was still a skinny lad but with the time Jimmy had spent making him eat he'd really bulked up. His ribs only poked out when he inhaled, and his hip bones were now covered with a thin, elegant layer of muscle.
“You slept, then?” Jimmy asked, forgetting how desperate he was for the toilet. You didn't lie to me did you, mate? Because I don't want you passing out with exhaustion any time soon.

Eyes blurry from yawning, Kougu watched the lines of the tiles merge under his feet as he drifted along, not really conscious of where he was going. In fact, he was so completely dazed that he didn't even notice Jimmy coming down the corridor until it was too late. With a fleshy thud, he felt himself collide with something warm and solid. He stumbled back in his shock, uttering a surprised murmur, and nearly overbalanced as he tripped clumsily over his feet. Luckily, Jimmy grabbed his shoulders at the last minute to steady him, and as he caught his balance he looked up at his friend, blinking quickly to bring him into focus. He looked so stunned, it was as though he'd been asleep on his feet until that moment. Come to think of it, he almost had been.
"Ah, s-sorry..." He stammered quickly, stepping back with an awkward chuckle, and rubbing the back of his head. He averted his gaze, only to realize with a shock that he was now looking at Jimmy's bare chest, rather than his face. When a moment of panic dictated that the latter would be less awkward, he quickly lifted his head again, to find Jimmy looking every inch as flustered as he felt.
“Uh... You... Morning.” He stammered, and with nerves tightly strung, Kougu nearly laughed at the awkwardness in his voice. He had never seen his friend look quite so embarrassed before, and as his anxiety grew, the sight became more and more hilarious. Despite himself, he felt a smile dimple his flushed cheeks, and quickly looked away to hide it, pushing his wet fringe off his forehead. "Morning." He mumbled, willing the heat away from his cheeks as he felt Jimmy's eyes burning over his exposed body. Suddenly, it was a very warm morning. 
“You slept, then?”
"Mm." He nodded, suddenly looking particularly interested in a spot of dirt on the ground, "A little. Hence, I look like death." With a faint smile, he raised his gaze again, his fingers trailing absentmindedly back to fiddle with his hair as he added, "I trust you slept okay, too?"
He blinked questioningly at Jimmy, but though it seemed like he was paying attention, inwardly, his mind was racing at nearly the speed of his heart.
I should really put some clothes on. He thought desperately to himself, casting a longing glance toward his room over Jimmy's shoulder. The door was open invitingly; so close, yet so far... God, this is embarrassing. What was I thinking, going for a shower without taking a change of clothes? You're not living alone any more, genius!
He nearly cringed at his own scolding, but instead, he scratched absentmindedly at one of the larger scars on his chest, then cleared his throat. "I should, um..." He gestured vaguely toward his room, but then courage failed him, and he could only fidget in place, hoping he didn't look as red as he felt, as he waited for Jimmy to catch the hint.

Jimmy checked to make sure Kougu was telling the truth, but then he remembered that his friend was an awful liar anyway, so decided to trust his word. Kougu did look quite tired, more like he'd woken up than he'd been staying awake all night. Warmth filled Jimmy's heart at this. The guy actually did what he'd said for once...
That begging had really paid off, then.
“A little. Hence, I look like death.”
“Nah,” Jimmy shrugged, allowing his eyes to roam freely over Kougu's body. “You look a damned sight better than a few hours ago.”
“I trust you slept okay, too?” Kougu replied politely, fiddling with his hair absentmindedly. Jimmy nodded, releasing a yawn as he stretched a hand behind his head, when the warmth of his bladder brought him cruelly back to reality. He cradled his crotch, as I that was going to keep him from wetting himself.
When he noticed Kougu staring wishfully over his shoulder ad gesture which way he was heading, Jimmy caught on quickly, not having to look back at where Kougu was looking. Had he embarassed him? Well, good. It wouldn't be the last time.
“Yeah, I...” Jimmy pointed awkwardly over Kougu's shoulder, turning to brush past Kougu awkwardly, tensing up when their skin brushed over one another's. But just as he passed, Jimmy raised his free hand and ruffled Kougu's wet hair. The water trickled between his fingers but he didn't mind. He was grateful that Kougu had but himself through nightmares so that Jimmy knew he'd slept. He was grateful for all of it, and although he wanted Kougu to get healthier it wasn't fair to make him face horrors for ohus every night for that sake.
“See you later, mate.” Jimmy murmured just before he fled to the toilet and slammed the door behind him.

“Yeah, I...” Jimmy mirrored his vague words and halfhearted gesture, and Kougu nodded quickly in response. "Right..." He tried to move forward, then hesitated. Suddenly, the corridor that had seemed plenty wide enough before was painfully narrow. Swallowing uncertainly, he moved forward again as Jimmy did, brushing briefly past him. He felt the warmth of his friend's bare shoulder clap his, and it sent a thrill through him, right down to the prickling of pins and needles in his feet. He was about to bolt for his room, when a soft touch on his head stopped him. Jimmy's fingers ruffled his hair, and a shiver that had nothing to do with the straying drops of water shot quickly up and down his spine, rippling over his tense muscles.
“See you later, mate.” Jimmy murmured as he passed, the warmth in his voice freezing Kougu to the spot. He just stood there, stunned and dazed, until he heard the bathroom door slam down the corridor. Slowly, he released a shuddering breath he didn't remember holding, and laid a hand over his heart. It was leaping and fluttering more than every before, and if he hadn't known any better, he'd have thought it was trying to fly the koop. Nervous and confused, he swallowed his anxiety, and stumbled forward into his room, closing the door behind him, and leaning against it for a moment.
What's the matter with me? He thought desperately as he panted into the silence, I feel like I've just run a marathon! Maybe I'm coming down with something after all. My legs feel all rubbery...
Shuddering, he tugged the towel free from around his waist, and used it to dry his dripping hair, trying hard not to remember the warm feeling of Jimmy's hand on his head. Slowly, he blew a soft breath from between pursed lips, then dropped to his knees and opened his suitcase, picking out a set of clean clothes for the day. As usual, he didn't put much thought into it, but when he wandered out clad in plain jeans and a white vest, he didn't look half bad. It was shaping up to be a warm day, and he intended to stand by what he'd said about the training, whether he had a hole in his side or not. It wasn't like Jimmy could land a hit on him when he was being serious, anyway. ((Such a modest character. XD ))
Yawning again, he scratched the back of his hair and trudged off into the kitchen to make some breakfast. A scratch through the cupboards uncovered some instant pancake mix that he'd bought, so he took it out and quickly prepared it. A few minutes of quiet sizzling and buzzing later, he had two plates prepared, each stacked with a number of pancakes.
"Jimmy," He called automatically as he drizled syrup over his own stack, "Breakfast!"
A drop of syrup got away from him, and he licked it from his finger as he pressed the bottle closed. Mouth watering at the sweetness, he grabbed himself a knife and fork, then trotted out into the lounge to eat his breakfast in front of the TV. As he sat down on the couch and picked up the remote, it occurred to him briefly - in the back of his mind - just how accustomed he was becoming to this 'normal' routine. Perhaps he would never be entirely sane, entirely normal, but recently, he felt as though he was growing closer every day. Even smiling had become easier, with Jimmy's joking expressions and lighthearted teasing never far away. Slowly but surely, Kougu felt he was learning how, really, to live his life as he was supposed to.

The first thing Jimmy sensed as he wandered out the shower was the smell of something cooking, and it made his empty stomach growl ravenously beneath his tense six-pack. ((Had to emphasise the six-pack, just to make sure. ))
He couldn't quite put his finger on the smell, but it was almost like...
Pancakes.
Eyes widening, he dropped the towel he'd been holding from around his waist and fled to his room, trailing it behind him, and scrambled around to get dressed.
He managed to yank on a t-shirt and hoodie without ripping anything, and stepped into a pair of dark jeans. Then, with the last of his dignity, tried to make it down the stairs without falling over himself.
“Jimmy, breakfast!”
He didn't need to be told twice. With an excitable gasp he trudged to the kitchen to see a plate of pancakes waiting for him, he greeted them like a long-lost lover. Cradeling the plate in his hands he stared at them lovingly, then grabbed a fork, stabbed the top one and stuffed it all into his mouth. Something was missing.
He stared at the bottle of syrup on the side, and his eyes lit up even more. He grabbed the bottle and squirted a sticky trail over the pancakes, grinning to himself, then ripped off a piece and shoved it in his mouth. Bits of pancake fell down his face, but he didn't give a damn. Covered in crumbs he followed Kougu to the lounge and sat down beside his friend, crossing his legs like an excitable little boy. “I bloody love you.” He cooed, mouth full of food. It was possible that he was the most ungracious eater in England, although America might be a bit much.
“You're getting better at the whole 'eating' thing, aren't you?” Jimmy said once he'd swallowed his mouthful. “And I can see it, too. You don't look like a walking skeleton anymore.” He smirked, shoving in another forkful of pancake.

Kougu glanced back over his shoulder as Jimmy dashed past him into the kitchen, moving like a whirlwind. The moment he vanished from sight, Kougu could hear so much banging and clattering going on in the kitchen, that it began to seem vaguely like something out of Jurassic Park. Chuckling softly to himself, he shook his head, then turned back to the TV and began flicking through the channels as he munched his way steadily through the stack of pancakes on his plate. It took only a few minutes for Jimmy to join him, looking almost indecently bright as he trotted out of the kitchen with his plate of pancakes, and flopped down on the couch. Kougu changed the channel again, then settled on an American family comedy show - those seemed to be his favourite - and sat back to watch, trying hard not to notice the way Jimmy attacked his breakfast like a starved velociraptor. But of course, he did not make it easy. 
“I bloody love you.” Jimmy mumbled beside him, and Kougu patiently wiped away the splatter of half-chewed pancake on his cheek as he answered, "That's just infatuation. It's the food that you love."
“You're getting better at the whole 'eating' thing, aren't you?” Jimmy pointed out cheekily, his words actually audible now without the mouthful of food, “And I can see it, too. You don't look like a walking skeleton anymore.”
"Hm." Kougu finished chewing, then swallowed, and replied, "Well, it would be inconvenient if I starved to death before the old man gets his shot to kill me, wouldn't it?"
It was not entirely clear whether or not he was being serious, but whatever the case, Kougu did not seem phased by the idea. Stabbing the last piece of pancake onto his fork, he finished it quickly, then wiped his mouth and added, "Although, I guess my appetite has been better lately. I probably have you to thank for that." He offered a brief smile, then placed his knife and fork together and stood up, holding out a hand to Jimmy.
"Can I take your plate?" He asked politely, "I'll wash up, then meet you outside. Do some stretches in the mean time; the last thing we need now is for you to pull a muscle."

Once Jimmy had handed over his plate, Kougu carried the dishes into the kitchen, and quickly handled the washing up, scrubbing away the last sticky traces of syrups, then drying off the plates and packing them back into the cupboard. It took only about ten minutes until he was done, and he walked outside to meet Jimmy, wiping the sweat from his forehead with his arm, and squinting as the glare of the sun hit his eyes. After the cold night before, the morning was shaping up to be unexpectedly warm.
"It's hot out here." Kougu commented, automatically stretching his arms across his chest as he approached Jimmy, "Are you ready? Best we start before the sun gets too high."

“Well, it would be inconvenient if I starved to death before the old man gets his shot to kill me, wouldn't it?”
Jimmy was a little taken aback by this, but he decided there wasn't much he could say to it. But thankfully, the awkwardness of the comment didn't affect Jimmy's appetite, and he plunged through his breakfast, licking the syrup from his fingers.
“Although, I guess my appetite has been better lately. I probably have you to thank for that.”
That was what he was hoping to hear. Nodding in a faint 'you're welcome', Jimmy finished the rest of his breakfast with his mind half interested in the family comedy on the TV and half interested in what Kougu was saying. Once he had finished, he turned to see Kougu offering to take his plate, which he did with pleasure, glad to not have to do much work tht day. Until Kougu brouguht up the training.
“I'll wash up, then meet you outside. Do some stretches in the mean time; the last thing we need now is for you to pull a muscle.”
Jimmy groaned, and yanked himself lazily to his feet. They needed training, but he didn't see how Kougu was going to manage when he was supposed to still be in a hospital bed. But there wasn't much point arguing with him. Still, Jimmy couldn't help but glare.
“Fine.” He sulked, wandering outside in his hoodie, scratching the back of his neck. He couldn't be bothered, but if Kougu made him angry enough he'd probably find the inspiration to attempt to hit him.

Kougu didn't take long to wash up, and when he arrived Jimmy was stretching an arm across his chest with a less-than-pleased look on his face. The last thing he wanted was nagging, and he had a feeling that was what Kougu was going to give him.
“Are you ready? Best we start before the sun gets too high.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Jimmy glared at him. “I get it.”
Shrugging off his hoodie, Jimmy raised his hands in a protective stance, and locked his eyes on Kougu's.
Come at me, bro. He thought challengingly, and jabbed a fist towards Kougu's shoulder.

Dismissing Jimmy's grumpiness with a shrug, Kougu stretched out his other arm, then rolled his shoulders to loosen them. Before he'd finished, a fist suddenly flew toward him, and he grunted in surprise - so taken aback that he almost didn't manage to block. Almost.
Luckily, his reflexes were as quick as ever, and in a flash he'd caught Jimmy's fist in his hand, then tossed it aside. "Take it easy." He scolded, though his lips betrayed a faint smile at what he took for eagerness, even though it was more likely just impatience on Jimmy's part. "I think you're best off focusing on your defense today. I don't much feel like taking a hit when I've already got a hole in my side." He raised his fists, taking up his stance, then added quickly, "Think fast!" And launched a sudden jab at Jimmy, catching him sharply in the chest. From there, then began to spar, Kougu offering words of advice where appropriate, and quickening his attacks as Jimmy's blocking improved. As the sun gradually rose higher and higher in the sky, the sweat began to pour, and Kougu soon found himself giving up on pushing his hair out of his face, and just leaving it to stick there as it pleased. His shirt, too, clung wetly to his tense muscles, but his enthusiasm in the sparring was so great that he barely even noticed himself growing tired. There were few things in life he'd ever learned to enjoy, but these training sessions with Jimmy truly did seem like the closest thing to 'fun' he'd ever had. Perhaps that was why he allowed himself to get so caught up in it, disregarding everything but each rapid blow and word of advice, until suddenly, his exhaustion slammed right into him with the force of a brick wall. He hit it so hard, so unexpectedly, that he felt his muscles seize halfway through an attack, and suddenly a wave of dizziness crashed over him, drowning out his vision in a series of tiny glowing dots. As the lightheaded sensation grew, the ground below his feet began to feel like a log on a stormy sea, and when Jimmy easily deflected his halfhearted attack, Kougu lost his balance entirely and stumbled forward, collapsing straight into Jimmy's sweaty chest. He drew in a hiss of breath through his teeth as he bumped the wound in his side, and nearly blacked out from the pain as he suddenly became aware of the stinging of the sweat. The world spun around him so violently that for a moment he lost track of everything, and without a single idea of where he was or what was happening, he clung to Jimmy's shirt as the one solid thing in his world, and waited in a daze for his swimming head to settle.
As his vision slowly returned, and his balance with it, Kougu quickly realized that his limbs were trembling. Next, he realized that he was clinging to Jimmy like a lifeline.
"Ah, sorry..." He croaked, coughing away the phlegm in his throat, and stumbling back a step. For a moment he grew dizzy again and nearly fell, but then he caught himself, swaying wearily with his arms slightly out to preserve his balance. "I didn't realize how tired I was getting." He muttered with an apologetic chuckle as he lowered himself to one knee, slowly and carefully so as not to fall in the process. "Probably a good time to take a-" He broke off, grunting and wincing slightly as he fell heavily onto his back, stinging the half-healed lashes that he had all but forgotten about. He drew in a deep breath, then finished with a sigh, "Time to take a break, I think."

“Take it easy.” Kougu scolded lightly, catching Jimmy's fist and tossing it aside like a potato. The fact that he'd been so easily blocked irritated Jimmy, but he stopped himself from trying to hit Kougu again. He'd probably get another chance later. “I think you're best off focusing on your defense today. I don't much feel like taking a hit when I've already got a hole in my side.”
Jimmy swore and sulked over this, even though he knew it was necessary. He was the one who didn't want Kougu out there training in he first place.
Just as he was about to accept this, Kougu shot him a teasing 'think fast' before jabbing him in the side. Jimmy growled at him.
I'm so getting you back for that one, mate.
From then on, they began to train. Kougu poked and prodded Jimmy and Jimmy jumped around, trying and mostly failing to dodge the attacks. His irritation kept him going, but soon enough Jimmy found himself tiring, and the heat of the morning rays heated up dramatically. It didn't take them very long to be soaked in sweat.
After a while Jimmy's blocks were beginning to improve, and he was just getting the hang of it when Kougu collapsed. There was no warning, nothing, just that one minute Kougu was standing, prodding him in the side, and the next he was dropping forwards, face sheet white, onto Jimy's chest. He had no chance to think about it, only to catch Kougu before he fell rather ungraciously to the floor.
“Easy there, mate.” Jimmy frowned, hooking his arms under Kougu's arm pits. “Don't exhaust yourself.”
It wasn't common for Jimmy to be looking down at Kougu, since usually Kougu was the one looming over him due to his height. But when Jimmy saw himself in this position, he felt his cheeks flush. His sweaty shirt stretched against his back as Kougu clung to it, apparently to keep himself from falling. Jimmy released his arms and instead wrapped his hands around Kougu's shoulders, keeping him standing.
“Kougu?”
“Ah, sorry... ” His friend croaked suddenly, lifting his head. Okay, so he hadn't fainted. The poor guy looked as embarassed as Jimmy felt. Coughing into his hand, he took a step away. “I didn't realize how tired I was getting.”
“You look shite.” Jimmy told him dryly, watching Kougu struggle to keep his balance on his own. Eventually he gave up and fell onto one knee.
“Probably a good time to take a-” Kougu began, then flopped onto his back with a loud thud. “Time to take a break, I think.”
“Nice one, genius.” Jimmy replied sarcastically, lowering himself to the floor and onto his back. The sun beamed over his eyes and he raised an arm to shield them, then reached out with the other for his water bottle. With a yawn he had a drink for himself, then offered it to Kougu.
“Sip that for a bit.” He ordered quietly, turning his head to study his friend's face from up-close. It was weird, even with sweat dripping down his forehead and his face an unnatural colour, Kougu still looked oddly attractive. Especially with his hair fallen away from his face.
“Oh, and mate?” He popped off the cap of the water bottle, and just as Kougu turned to look at him, Jimmy squirted water right between his eyes. “That's for jabbing me. You have really sharp fingers, asshole.”
Despite his dry words, Jimmy soon found himself grinning. It was the perfect weather to be attacking Kougu with a water bottle.
“Oh, and guess what.” He added, grinning deviously, and squirted Kougu again. “That was for funsies. Bite me.”