Polo and Dreameh's fanfic RP... ;D Jimmy/Kougu [Probably mature]

“It's a big building.[i]” Kougu tried to assure him, which was true, but Jimmy still wasn't convinced. “[i]And he might be sleeping.”
That was a fair point. Nodding, Jimmy slowly moved the lighter around them, making sure he could see where he was putting his feet. He didn't like the thought of trailing blindly around an abandoned building – it had to have been abandoned for a reason, didn't it? - but it wasn't like they could do anything about that, now.
“I don't like it either. But we can't go out now, not if they followed us. They'd shoot us down on the spot. Just keep your guard up, and stick close to-”
Kougu stopped mid-step, and Jimmy heard the floorboards creak as he turned around to stare down at where they had last been, but the darkness was too thick for Jimmy to see his face.
“Kougu, what is it?” Jimmy whispered, but Kougu ignored him. After a moment of silence, the two continued forward up the staircase.

This repeated a few times. Jimmy didn't hear the crackling until the last time, and by that point it was far too late. Kougu stopped him abruptly, slapping a hand to his chest. By this point Jimmy was almost literally on his toes with uneasiness. He knew something was wrong, they were on the fifth floor and there was no sign of anyone living in the house. Jimmy had heard nothing but scuttling rats and the strange crackling sound that had been lingering in the background for some time. But Kougu noticed it first, and with a look of honest horror Kougu ran to the nearest banister and stared down the floors. Jimmy followed him and watched over his shoulder. A burning yellow blinded them both as flames as high as seven foot covered the first floor, licking at the banister at the base. They climbed up every surface, digging into the floorboards and staining the walls black. Most of all, they released smoke so thick that it hit Jimmy suddenly, and before he even had the chance to prepare for it the smoke filled his lungs, coating them with sandpaper and causing him to keel over, rasping coughs being ripped from him. He spat out onto the floor, which he still couldn't really see, and felt his eyes water heavily. It there had been any other light above them, he might have looked like he'd been crying.
“It's a trap!” Kougu exclaimed, stating the obvious. He sounded terrified.
Jimmy heard a cracking sound and Kougu gasp beside him, but his lungs were wretching coughs from him, and for a moment Jimmy thought he was going to be sick. But once he had the ability to straighten he placed his sleeve over his mouth to filter the air, and turned to Kougu for direction. Thankfully, the man hadn't quite fallen to his death when the banister had given way.
“We've got to get out of here. Come here.” His friend ordered, dragging him to the nearest room. Jimmy wasn't sure what his plan was, but he would have rather stayed in a closed off room than in an open lobby with those flames. He followed Kougu right into the bathroom, then removed his sleeve to inhale a deep breath. It took all he had not to panic.
So the gang had shoved them in there to set them on fire?
Bastards.
With a bit of thumping, Kougu managed to get the dirty, brown water in the shower running, and ordered quickly for Jimmy to get in. Wrinkling his nose in distaste, Jimmy stood in the cubicle until he was soaked through his clothes, then got out, shivering. He understood he purpose, but it didn't make it any less unpleasant.
“We won't catch fire as easily this way.” Kougu explained. “We'll have to get out the way we came, it's the only exit. That means going through the flames.”
“You're kidding, right?” Jimmy stared at him as if he were mad. “We'll die! The floor could collapse or whatever. Hell, the whole place will collapse at this rate.”
By this point they were both back outside the room, treading carefully over the staircase. The floorboards creaked louder now, like they had weakened from the heat of the flames or the intensity of the smoke. Jimmy didn't like it, and more than once or twice he made a desperate grab for Kougu right when he felt the floor shake under his feet.
Jimmy said nothing as they tread, as he concentrated so much on where he put his feet, trying not to let his coughing affect how his weight distributed on the ground.
He thought he was getting the hang of it. The stairs were stronger at the top, but the further down they got, the weaker they got, and he felt his nerves slowly begin to take over.
Suddenly, he felt the ground under his feet rumble, and just as he reached the top of the staircase to the fourth floor, it happened. He tried to reach for Kougu, he tried to shout his name, but before he could vocalise anything the floor beneath him crumbled, and Jimmy felt himself falling.
“Kougu!!” He screamed, his arms scrambling desperately for his friend. He yelped in fright, but it was too late.

“You're kidding, right?” Jimmy asked, staring at him incredulously, “We'll die! The floor could collapse or whatever. Hell, the whole place will collapse at this rate.”
"Listen to me." Kougu said, stopping Jimmy and meeting his eyes with blazing determination, "I won't let you die here. I promise." A moment longer he held Jimmy's gaze, then he turned, nodding toward the staircase. "Let's go."

They proceeded forward with caution, feeling their way carefully over the rickety floor as they crept down staircase after staircase. Kougu coughed into his hand, wincing at the burning in his lungs, and tried hard not to notice the blazing inferno beneath his feet. The sweat that trickled down his face was stained black with soot and grime, and it only got worse the lower down they went. But still, he pressed on, determined to somehow brave the fire in order to see the light of day again. 
When they reached the forth floor, a vicious plume of smoke rose up, engulfing Kougu in its suffocating scent, and he doubled over in a fit of throat-tearing coughs, clutching at his chest as he struggled to get a hold of himself. He heard the floorboards creaking before him, and squinted through streaming eyes to see Jimmy moving on ahead. With another cough he stumbled after, but then - suddenly - Hell reared up to meet them.
Kougu felt the ground under his feet shift, but when he tried to shout a warning to Jimmy he was choked by the smoke, rendered dumb at the worst possible moment. And just as he lunged forward, the staircase gave way, and Jimmy started to fall.
He heard his friend shout his name, but before he could even respond, Jimmy's frightened eyes fell from his sight, his body plummeting down amongst the shattered shards of wood that burst into flame as they fell.
With a strangled shout, Kougu threw himself forward, diving to the edge and reaching out an arm with the speed of a striking snake. In the nick of time, his fingers closed around Jimmy's forearm, and the whole world ground to a halt around them. Kougu could feel the ligaments in his shoulder stretching and straining under the pressure of his friend's suspended weight, but at that moment, he didn't even care. Relief fell down on him like a lead weight, and he tightened his fingers around the blissfully solid, living form of Jimmy's arm.
"Hold on." He gasped, chuckling in near hysteria. "Don't let go, okay? I won't let you fall."
But even as he spoke, Kougu felt his fingers starting to slip over Jimmy's skin. Cursing, he tightened his hold, but it was no use. He couldn't get a grip.
Glancing down in alarm, Kougu saw blood streaming down his arm, making his fingers turn slick as they gripped desperately onto Jimmy. Too late, he realized that he had ripped his arm open on one of the protruding splinters of wood, and as his heart beat faster with panic, so the blood flowed thicker, and Jimmy's arm slid further in his grasp.
"I'm going to swing you up!" He said, raising his voice to be heard over the roar of the fire. His arm was turning numb. "Hold on. Tighter, dammit!"
He tried to tighten his own grip, but the muscles in his arm twitched uncomfortably, and as a tingling sensation of pins and needles began spreading from his fingertips, he realized that this was his last chance. Grunting with the effort, He ripped his arm away from the stabbing splinters, and swung Jimmy upwards with all his weight, using the momentum to lift him. As he reached the highest arc of the swing, Kougu suddenly let go, then grabbed him around the middle with both arms, and heaved backwards, pulling him away from the edge.
"Get up!" He gasped, eyes widening as the weak wood began splintering underfoot, "Come on, move!" He pulled Jimmy to his feet, then shoved him forward  back onto the fifth floor, just as the final supporting beam of the staircase cracked. The ground crumbled away under his feet, and he made a mad leap for the floor above, grabbing onto Jimmy to support himself as the stair where he'd been standing was reduced to cinders in the flames. He clung mindlessly to Jimmy as he watched, frozen with horror, while their one chance of escape was completely obliterated.
For one tragic moment, he feared that all was lost, but when his hopeless eyes met Jimmy's, determination returned to him anew.

"You okay?" He asked hoarsely, setting Jimmy at an arm's length, and gripping his shoulder comfortingly. "We'll have to find a new way-" He broke off, coughing, then gasped hoarsely, "-A new way out."
Exhaling slowly, he gripped his dead arm tightly in his left hand, pinning it to his side, where it hung down limply. He couldn't feel it at all - and he only hoped that the nerve damage would prove temporary.
"The roof." He decided at last, nodding back the way they'd come, "Hurry."
Still clutching his arm tightly to his chest, Kougu started running up the stairs with Jimmy at his side, battling his way through suffocating plumes of smoke, which got thicker the higher they got. Visiblity was next to nothing, but at last they reached the final storey, and by the flickering red light below, Kougu caught a glimpse of the last staircase.
"There." He choked hoarsely, stumbling towards it, and shattering the lock with a powerful kick that sent him limping up the cold stone steps. Fresh air hit them, but even as he drank in a grateful gulp, the roar of the fire below escalated tenfold, and the entire building began to quake and shudder as the final supporting beams began to fold. "Come on." He croaked to Jimmy, dropping his floppy arm and shoving his friend ahead of him as they scrambled weakly up the stairs. "This place is going to collapse any minute. We have to-" When at last they reached the roof, Kougu froze, feeling the vastness of the world rush up to meet him as reality slapped her cruel palm across his face. They stood on a sinking island, separated from the buildings on all sides by gaps of at least six or seven meters. Bile rose in his throat, and before he could stop them, his legs started to shake. He wasn't sure he could jump that far at the best of times, let alone when his lungs burned from smoke, and his muscles had turned limp from fear. 
But we have no choice. This is do or die. I made a promise to Jimmy... I promised!

Jimmy heard nothing then but the blood roaring in his ears. He saw Kougu shouting him, saw the cracks of the staircase as it became eye level with him, saw the ceiling of the lower floor and saw how it glowed with the light of the flames below. He could feel heat, that was it. And as he scrambled blindly for something to grab onto, he watched as a hand, as if in slow motion, reached out from above and grabbed his arm.
For a strange, light-headed moment he thought it was something Godly, then his eyes crawled up the arm to see Kougu's thick, dark hair plastered to his sweaty face.
Jimmy made a noise, but he wasn't sure whether it was a strangled yelp or a relieved cry.
“Hold on. Don't let go, okay? I won't let you fall.”
“You'd better not.” Jimmy whimpered.
But despite Kougu's strong grip, he could feel himself slipping. At first he thought it was just the wetness of their hands, but when Jimmy peered closer, he realised Kougu's arm was bleeding. Not only that, but the blood was gushing out of his forearm like black tar, trickling down onto Jimmy's hand.
“Shit!” He cried, holding back his hysteria. It couldn't end here. It just couldn't... It was then when a thought suddenly occurred to him.
I don't want to die.
And here he was, his life hanging by a thread, or at least, by Kougu's bloody hand.
He saw Kougu shout something at him, but Jimmy was too alarmed at the thought that he was going to die that he didn't hear it. He saw Kougu's face twist in agony at the horrific gash on his arm, then, bizarrely, Jimmy felt himself swinging sideways. He cried out in panic, and when the grip on his arm disappeared, Jimmy automatically scrambled around for something else to hold onto. Thankfully the force of the swing had lifted him closer to the firmer ground. His hands clasped onto it, his only lifeline, and with a sudden rush of adrenaline, yanked himself back up. He was exhausted by this point, but Kougu gave him no time to stop for a rest. He was ushered to his feet, and, lungs dry from the smoke, he scrambled weakly to his feet and staggered to the more secure ground.
Jimmy felt himself being pushed back as the entire stair case crumbled and fell down into the burning debris. Personally, he was just glad he was alive. But then it occurred to him: how were they going to get out now?
The two met eyes, and it was obvious Kougu was asking himself the same thing. “You okay?” Jimmy nodded, but he wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. “Brilliant. Thanks.” He choked, slapping Kougu gratefully on the back.
“We'll have to find a new way-” Kougu stopped to choke again. “A new way out.”
Jimmy nodded. But they couldn't go down... What else was there?
“The roof.”
“The roof.”
They both said it simultaneously. It was, in fact, the last remaining exit, albeit the most dangerous. But they had no other choice any more. Even if they'd made it downstairs and outside, Jimmy was sure a Bloods firing squad would be waiting for them.
“Hurry.”
He didn't need to be told twice. Jimmy grabbed Kougu's well arm and the two sped up the stairs, almost blinded by the thickness of the smoke around them, until they found a window to climb out of onto the roof.

The fresh air felt like bliss, even so close to the fire. But their relief was short-lived. Jimmy could feel the building begin to shake underfoot, and he knew even before Kougu mentioned it that this abandoned hotel wasn't going to last much longer.
But when Kougu stopped, Jimmy frowned at him.
“What? What is it?”
But when Jimmy followed his friend's gaze, he realised exactly why he'd stopped. They were in the middle of a giant, dry moat. There was nothing to leap onto for at least seven metres, if that. Beneath them the flames continued to grow and gnaw at every surface. The building rumbled threateningly.
We can't just give up now. He thought desperately, his head swivelling from Kougu to the roofs around them, so close yet so far away. Not after all that. We can't...
But Kougu was stumped. Jimmy would have to take this into his own hands. Right.
Without a word, Jimmy yanked off his hoodie, and pulled it inside-out. He then wrapped one sleeve around his wrist and handed the other sleeve to Kougu. Even if they let go, or if one of them didn't make the jump, they would still have this to pull the other up.
“Hold on. Tight as you can.”
Soaked and shivering, Jimmy raised a hand to Kougu's shoulder and squeezed it assuringly.
“We're gunna do this. Together.” He nodded, his eyes shining with confidence, although his heart fluttered with nerves. He wasn't sure they were, but this was certainly better than standing on the roof like the Titanic, and wait for it to sink.
“You ready?” He pushed, tightening his grip on the jumper. Then, turning back to the huge gap before them, he braced himself and jumped.

Kougu was still staring blankly ahead of him, his mind stuck in an infinite loop trying to find a way out of the impossible situation - when he realized that Jimmy was moving beside him. Blinking to clear his smoky vision, he turned his head just in time to find his friend offering him the arm of his inside-out jumper.  He reached out questioningly toward it, but only once Jimmy told him to hold on did he actually take a grip on the sleeve. Mimicking his friend, he wrapped it around his wrist in stony silence, then breathed out deeply, and closed his sweaty palm firmly around the end, his other arm still hanging limp and useless at his side. He looked back to the leap, sizing it up in silent hopelessness, and the unfamiliar gnawing of fear began settling in the pit of his stomach. He stood there like a statue, until suddenly, a warm hand closed around his shoulder.
Not flinching for once, Kougu looked up, meeting Jimmy's eyes briefly as he felt the firm squeeze on his shoulder send his confidence creeping back to him.
“We're gunna do this." Jimmy told him determinedly, "Together.”
"Right." He agreed, breathing out softly through his teeth, and readjusting the sleeve of the jumper in his hand. "We can make it."
“You ready?”
"As I'll ever be."
As one, they hesitated. Then, with a loud crash from the fire as their starting gun, the pair raced forward, legs flying as they sprinted at full speed toward the edge of the building. As he reached the edge, Kougu tightened his hand, squeezing that sleeve in his hand so damn tight that he could feel every fibre of the material pressing into his skin. Time stood still as he took what he hoped wouldn't be his final breath. Then, holding it, he jumped.

The cold night air rushed up to meet his sweat-soaked face, and though he wanted to close his eyes, he couldn't help but see the dark alleyway below him, illuminated faintly by a flickering streetlamp. An alley cat crawled out of an upturned dumpster, and for a moment, everything seemed so normal that Kougu thought perhaps he was dreaming, or that he'd always been able to fly, and he'd just forgotten about it until that very moment.
Then, as she always did, reality bit back, and he felt gravity begin dragging him down, making his limbs feel suddenly heavy as he reached with all his might for the rooftop rushing up towards him. In the instant before landing, he closed his eyes - jaw tightly clenched - and when he felt the wonderful impact of hard concrete bruising his sole, he hurled himself forward with all his might, pulling the taut sleeve of the jumper along with him. On the second step his legs turned to jelly beneath him, and he broke his fall with a roll.
A second later he found himself on his knees, panting, as the night spun around him. His entire body shook with the force of his heartbeat, and as adrenaline overflowed from his veins, he turned to Jimmy, seeing in his friend's face the exact same stunned relief that was smashing him down, wave after wave. For a moment he just looked shocked. Then, slowly, his face split into a hysterical grin. With a high-pitched bark of laughter, he flung his good arm around Jimmy, pulling him into a suffocating embrace. "We made it." He laughed breathlessly, shaking from head to toe, "We- we actually-" Another breath of laughter stilled his speech, and it continued in a silent, shaking fit as he clung to Jimmy in sheer relief. Never in his life had he been so grateful to be alive. In fact, no matter how far back he looked, he couldn't think of one time when he had been so relieved not to die, that he wasn't sure if he was laughing or crying.
At last, his arm grew tired of shaking, and as it slackened around Jimmy's shoulders Kougu shifted back, then raised trembling fingers to touch Jimmy's face, his warm eyes searching every grime-covered inch of it.
"You okay?" He asked shakily, his lips still wobbling in an unsteady smile.
He's alive. Thank God he's alive. If I lost him, I-
A lump rose in his throat at the thought, and though the smoke was now far from them, his eyes didn't cease to water.
I nearly lost him. Almost...

Time seemed to stand still for a moment as the two flew through the air. For a moment Jimmy regretted jumping. What were they doing? There was no way they could make a seven metre jump, especially after being weakened by the thick smoke inside the burning building. But even as his doubt grew, he watched as the upcoming roof continued to approach them, and Jimmy prepared himself for the fall. His was not as graceful as Kougu's, and he landed awkwardly on his shoulder. But as his adrenaline was still pumping, he barely felt the pain that would most certainly bruise after a few minutes. But Jimmy didn't even care.
Am I alive?
He raised his head and looked clumsily around. The flat roof smelt of rain and gravel, and his palms were grazed horribly. But as he looked around the short roof he saw a horizon, littered with more roofs and skyscrapers, he realised with a jolt that they had made it. And they were both alive.
Jimmy managed to pull himself stiffly into a sitting position, and watched with a stunned expression as the hotel crumbled down before their eyes. They had been on the top of that a few seconds ago. Or was it minutes? Or hours, even... He could have been passed out for ages, for all he knew.
Kougu made a strange, high-pitched squeal that Jimmy had no idea a man could make, and the next he knew he had an arm around his shoulder, and was being shaken by his hysterical friend. Jimmy's expression didn't change for a moment, then he seemed to register what was going on, and a smile slowly grew on his face.
“We made it.” Kougu laughed out loud as he continued to shake Jimmy with surprising force. “We- We actually-
“Yeah...” Jimmy breathed, but the croaky voice that came out didn't sound like his. “Yeah, we did.”
He was far too tired to fight off Kougu's shaking, and instead waited with an oddly calm smile on his face until it ceased. He forgot about everything then, except being alive, that is. They had so many things to worry about, and yet at that moment, all that mattered was that they were both alive.
He flinched slightly as Kougu's hand touched his face, but that was only because it was so cold and wet, and Jimmy hadn't been expecting it. It made him guide his eyes to Kougu's ash-blotched face and watering eyes. The sight of his ecstatic friend was enough to make Jimmy's own eyes water. He leaned against into the touch on his face, not once caring whether it was weird or not.
“You okay?”
“You're asking me?” Jimmy actually laughed. He didn't realise how much he was crying himself. Blurting out a laugh, he leant closer and raked his dirty fingers through Kougu's long, thick fringe as he always did, brushing the hair the wrong way until the fringe was swiped right away from Kougu's eyes. Jimmy kept a hold of the fringe, just at least so he could see Kougu's face better. “What're you crying for, eh?” He choked, tugging gently at Kougu's hair so his head wobbled from side to side a little. “You're not turning into a p*ssy now, are ya?” He joked, tears streaming down his own face. He wasn't completely sure why as his thoughts were almost dead, but the relief was so powerful he couldn't stop them.
“I... I thought for a minute we were-” He coughed. “That we were dead men. I really did...” He released a shaky breath, absentmindedly running his fingers further through Kougu's hair. It may have been dusty, wet and cold, but Jimmy wanted nothing more than to run his fingers through it and remind himself that Kougu hadn't left him. That he hadn't been abandoned in this country and left on his own.
“You are f*cking brilliant.” He sobbed, finally finding a clump of hair on the back of Kougu's head to hold onto as he leant closer, pressing his brow against Kougu's. All manner of thought left him then. He knew only one thing: he was glad to have Kougu as a companion. So glad, in fact, that he wanted to show him. “Actually f*cking brilliant.” His eyes twinkled with more than tears as he smirked slightly. “Mophead.”
Then, with that finally word hanging in what little air lie between them, Jimmy pulled Kougu's lips to his, and he kissed him. He kissed him clumsily, with the trembling of his jaw causing his teeth to chatter. He kissed Kougu like he never wanted to stop, and the more he did it, the closer he found himself getting, right until that point that Jimmy was knelt before his friend, risen from his position where he had been sat on his heels, and shortened the gap between their soggy bodies. Jimmy cradles Kougu's head like a child, massaging the thick hair at the back so gently, so softly that it might have been mistaken for a kinder character.
Jimmy wasn't the most skilful kisser, but when he did he proceeded with great care. Despite his shuddering body he caressed Kougu's head like he was afraid it would break if he was too rough, and not a moment went by where he forced Kougu to kiss him. He was so overrun with emotion he knew not how to deal with it, and so he released it all on the kiss. He wanted Kougu to know just how relieved he was to have him by his side, and in the state he was in, the comfort was something he needed desperately. It was either that or crumble where he sat, and if he fell down this time he wasn't sure he'd be able to get back up.

“You're asking me?” Jimmy responded incredulously, an uncontrolled laugh bursting from his lips. Despite himself, Kougu echoed it, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. His gaze nearly escaped to some point on the floor a few meters away, but then he felt a cold touch on his face, and looked up in surprise as Jimmy's fingers ran through his smoky fringe, unsticking it from his face to push it sideways, away from his eyes. His scalp prickled and tingled as the hairs bent at their base, and though it sent a shiver racing up his spine, Kougu didn't budge.
“What're you crying for, eh?” Jimmy teased, his voice croaking as he choked on his own tears, “You're not turning into a p*ssy now, are ya?” A playful tug on his hair rocked his head gently back and forth, and Kougu squirmed away from the dizzying feeling as he mumbled, "I'm not-" But when he touched his cheeks, he found that they were indeed damp, and sticky from drying tears. He made a sound somewhere between a sniff and a laugh, rubbing his fist quickly over his eyes to hide the evidence as he added, "It's your fault, anyway. You scared me."
“I... I thought for a minute we were-” Jimmy coughed, and Kougu could almost hear the smoke rasping his throat, “That we were dead men. I really did...”
"Nm-m." He grunted softly, closing his eyes for a moment as Jimmy's fingers - still tangled in his hair - now ran further through the wet, smoky strands, scraping gently over his scalp. Somehow, this one simple action comforted him on a level he could barely understand, and his head tipped forward an inch as the tension dropped from his shoulders, and his racing heart began to slow. "I promised you." He murmured, voice only just audible, "I never break a promise."
Although this time was too damn close for comfort...

He felt his friend's fingers sliding further still through his hair, and his calming heartbeat quickly began pounding again as Jimmy sobbed, “You are f*cking brilliant.”
The compliment hit him like a sledgehammer, and as a prickling warmth began spreading throughout his body, Kougu felt his heart start flinging itself around even more erratically as Jimmy's forehead bumped against his, resting there as his trembling fingers clung to a handful of his hair. In an instant, reality dissipated, and Kougu found himself frozen - a prisoner in his own body - as a wild dream unfolded before him. He wanted to tell Jimmy he was wrong, that he was the one who'd been brilliant, or at the very least to thank him for what he'd said; yet all he could do was swallow nervously, his eyes locked on the shaking chest of the man before him.
“Actually f*cking brilliant.” Jimmy's tearful voice repeated, though the words sounded to Kougu as if they'd come from underwater, dulled by the deafening rush of blood in his ears. His heart was beating faster and faster, and as he finally raised his head to look into Jimmy's shining, teary eyes - so close that they blurred his vision - he felt his stomach flip right around. 
A subtle smirk appeared on Jimmy's lips then, and as he muttered the stupid nickname that he'd pinned on Kougu months ago, the entire world seemed to shrink into nothing but the space between them. Kougu's heart contracted, and he was overcome with a rush of affection unlike anything he'd felt before. It consumed him, burning his very veins to the point that he felt like a man possessed. His hand reached out, trembling, to grasp a handful of Jimmy's sleeve, and then he felt his head pulled forwards, and the world vanished entirely as Jimmy's chapped lips met his own.
Before he knew what was happening, Jimmy was kissing him. Kissing him like he meat it, like he was the only thing in the world worth a damn; and though he knew that it was wrong, in that moment, he could not find it in himself to care. He was blind to everything. Blind to everything but Jimmy's trembling lips, and the soft touch of his fingers on the back of his head.

He didn't even fight it for a moment. The comfort took him like a drug, and he let it carry him as he closed his eyes, his hand slipping to Jimmy's chest as he returned the kiss. Not once did he stop to think of why it was happening, what it might mean, or what the ramifications would be now that he'd decided to go along with it. He was drunk on Jimmy's passionate emotion, intoxicated by the man before him on a level he'd not even thought possible.
Usually so tough and fierce, Jimmy's rough hand now caressed his head with such gentle care that he almost began to question the reality of it, and yet Jimmy was most unquestionably there. He could hear his rapid breathing, feel his beating heart through his chest, and even taste the salty smoke on his lips. He was, wonderfully and extraordinarily, there. Neither a ghost nor a figment of imagination, but as real as the cold concrete bruising Kougu's need, or the icy shards of rain prickling his burning skin. He was there, and in that moment, he was all that Kougu had ever wanted.
Then, as suddenly and unexpectedly as it had come, the moment ended.
Jimmy's body moved closer to his, and without an arm to support himself, Kougu almost fell back, loosing his grip on Jimmy's collar to catch himself on his hand at the last minute.
As his dilated pupils quickly shrunk, so the shock in Kougu's eyes seemed to grow as he sat there, just barely supported by his trembling arm, and panting through cracked lips. Even in the pouring rain, he felt so hot he feared he would go up in steam, but as the water began to cool him, so his racing heart began to slow, and reality set in with a grip of ice.
The passion was gone, and with it, every ounce of comfort that the kiss had brought. Suddenly, as the dream quickly dissipated, Kougu's analytical mind kicked into gear, finding every flaw imaginable in what had just happened. 

I just kissed a man. He realized with an awful crash of finality, I kissed Jimmy. Why, why would I do that? Not only have I ruined our friendship, but I've damned him to Hell with me! He ignored the tiny voice in his head reminding him that Jimmy had kissed him first, and instead, his face turned ashen as his harsh thoughts whirred on, I kissed a man, intentionally. I'm a sinner, a freak of nature, I- His eyes stretched wider, falling to the ground in cold dread as his shoulders dropped, hunching forwards with the sudden onslaught of pure despair. I betrayed Charlie.

That was the thought that broke him. And suddenly, Kougu was overwhelmed with the weight of everything he'd done wrong in his life. Every screw up, every failure, every time his father had struck him to the ground and told him he was worthless. He remembered the frantic craving for Jimmy's approval, and the revolting elation he'd felt at the moment their lips met, when he felt he finally had it. He cursed his own desperate need for love that he did not deserve, and cursed the infernal force that had driven him to seek it in Jimmy's arms.
Then, with the weight of the world on his shoulders and nothing but cold emptiness in his heart, the shields around him shattered, and he crumbled into the broken man that he had been trying to hide all along.
It started as a disbelieving gasp of breath, then another as the lines about his mouth tightened, and his brow began to crease. His shoulders slumped further, and he bowed his head as his eyes scrunched tight, and his lips pulled apart with the unbearable force of grief, showing a hint of clenched teeth as he began to sob. Driven to the point of unsurpassable shame, he turned his head away, hiding his face in his arm as he began crying in earnest, his whole exhausted body shaking with each sob as tears poured from his eyes, soaking his sleeve and dripping in floods to the ground. It hurt, all of it. The loathing, the shame, the remorse - even the love itself burned like acid on tender flesh. It hurt so damn much that he would have liked nothing more than to die on the spot, and yet all he could do was sob, more and more violently, as years of repressed trauma crashed over him.
Why, Jimmy? Why me? Don't you understand, I can never be worthy... Never, as long as I live...

As the kiss grew more and more intense, Jimmy could feel Kougu's reaction begin to change. Although he had been returning the kiss at first, he began to feel weaker in Jimmy's arms and less enthusiastic about the kiss. Jimmy started to back off a little, releasing his grip on Kougu's head, but his friend kept falling from his grasp until he realised the moment was gone. Backfiring quicker than he'd expected. But even though Kougu pulled away, Jimmy had got the reaction he wanted. He knew then that Kougu had feelings for him, even if he denied it, because that was the second time Kougu had returned the kiss as passionately as Jimmy. It had answered his question for him even if Kougu didn't.
But now they had come to a problem. Where did they go from there?

Jimmy allowed Kougu to fall from his grasp, but when Kougu kept sinking onto the ground Jimmy felt his brow pull into a frown. It wasn't like Kougu had had enough, or like he was surprised by anything. It was almost as if...
Kougu's shoulders slumped and before he knew what was going on, Jimmy watched his friend start to sob. Heart-wrenching sobs that shook his whole body. Jimmy had never seen anything so heartbreaking in his life, and he'd seen a lot. Not only that but it was coming from Kougu, the master of secrecy and hiding his feelings, and here he was, sobbing his heart out. The problem was, Jimmy didn't quite know why he was doing it.
Is this my fault? He thought, staring in confusion as his friend cried like a child before his eyes, Jimmy's hands were still frozen where they had been when they'd been cradling Kougu's head, he was in that much shock.
But as he studied Kougu further, he realised it couldn't just be the kiss or even the trauma of being locked in a burning building that could cause this sort of pain. This was something far deeper than that.
“Come on, mate....” Jimmy tried awkwardly, hovering a hand over Kougu's shoulder, then he seemed to think better of it. He knew nothing about comforting crying men, especially one like Kougu. “Don't cry. It-” His face contorted with awkward confusion. He had to do something, but what would possibly make someone in this much grief feel better? “I'm not that bad a kisser, am I?” He thought helplessly out loud.
“What're you so upset about, eh?” He scrambled around on his knees until he was facing Kougu again, as his friend had turned away to hide his face. But Jimmy wasn't having any of it.
“Woah, hey... Come on, mate. Was it really that bad?” Kougu was crying now so hard that Jimmy was sure he had the power to flood the whole city. Jimmy adjusted his seat so he was sat cross-legged in front of Kougu, trying to use his gaze to urge his friend to look at him. “You'll lose all your bodily fluids at this rate, and we still need to get back yet.” He teased lightly, raising a sleeve to dab Kougu's soaked face.
“Go on, then. Tell me what's up.”

His head throbbed painfully from the tension of the tears, and though he tried to stop them, Kougu realized that at this point he was truly powerless; a slave to his own emotions. He heard Jimmy's voice beside him, but the sound of it only drove the stake of shame deeper into his heart, and he began shaking harder still as he buried his face in the crook of his arm.
“Come on, mate...." Jimmy coaxed, sounding almost painfully uncomfortable, "Don't cry. It-” Apparently lost for words, he fell silent, and Kougu cried on without response until he added, “I'm not that bad a kisser, am I?”
At this, Kougu managed a muffled sound of disagreement, and shook his head faintly, automatically protecting his friend's ego, even in the midst of his grief. He sniffed and rubbed his already-raw face, trying again to get a grip on himself, but then Jimmy shuffled around in front of him, and as he asked, “What're you so upset about, eh?” Kougu's quiet, muffled sobs just started all over again, a fresh batch of tears soaking his hot face. How, with all the words that the world had to offer, could he possibly explain to Jimmy exactly what he was upset about? 
“Woah, hey... Come on, mate. Was it really that bad?”
He could feel his friend's gaze burning into him, but still Kougu cowered away, curling himself as far from Jimmy as he could possibly get without actually moving. He was guilty, and he was ashamed - to the point that he feared he'd burst into flame if he ever so much as looked at Jimmy's face again. He didn't dare move, and he didn't dare speak, and the more Jimmy tried to comfort him, the worse the boiling hatred in his heart became, until he began to wonder if it might slowly start destroying him from the inside. ((Dude. It kinda already has. XD ))
“You'll lose all your bodily fluids at this rate," Jimmy's voice scolded gently from somewhere in front of him, still trying to get through to him, even despite his complete lack of response, "And we still need to get back yet.”
This logic actually made sense to him, but just as Kougu tried to take a deep breath to steady himself, Jimmy's sleeve touched his face, and he flinched away like an abused animal, so violently that Jimmy might as well have smacked him with a boxing glove. The result was like rapidly cooling hot metal. With Kougu's hatred burning with the fury of hellfire within him, Jimmy's kindness could do nothing to cool the rage. Instead, all it did was make him crack, and suddenly he was shaking harder than ever before. He just couldn't help himself. He was trying to get a grip, trying with all his might, but the power of his grief was too strong to overcome. It was bizarre, really. Not five minutes ago, he had been terrified of falling to his death. Now, he would have liked nothing better than to die on his knees right there and then.
“Go on, then." Jimmy said, once again interrupting the hateful monologue running through Kougu's head, "Tell me what's up.”
Kougu took a shuddering breath, and the moment it filled his lungs, his crying suddenly ceased, as quickly as it had begun. It wasn't that the pain had gone, but rather that he had become wonderfully numb to it, as though there just weren't enough feelings left in him for him to, well, feel, any more.
He felt hollow inside, and though the emptiness was a torment all of its own, he was relieved that he could at least sniff away the last of his tears, and dry his eyes on his sleeve.
"It... It's nothing..." He managed to whisper at last, his hand falling into his lap as his eyes cracked open, the tears on his lashes glistening with sparkling silver in the moonlight. "I'm sorry." He mumbled, trying in vain to dry his hand on his wet clothes, "I just-" Once again, words failed him, and he shook his head, dropping back to sit on his heels as he stared unseeingly at a mark on the concrete, still unwilling to look his friend in the eye. 
"Jimmy," He mumbled softly to the floor, "Why did this happen? Why... Me?" His eyes lifted with the question, but still not enough to meet Jimmy's face. "Do you not realize that I'm possibly the most despicable human being on the planet? Satan himself wouldn't have me." He heard a bitter laugh escape his lips as he echoed his father's words from years ago, and he reveled in his own suffering, letting the hatred numb the pain. "All I've ever done in life is let people down. My father, my family, you," He paused a moment, fists clenching at his sides, "...Charlie. She trusted me, and I-" A shaky breath escape him, and he let his forehead fall forwards into his palm, grimacing as he gripped his temples so hard that his knuckles turned white. "I warned her not to trust me." His face contorted with pain. "Why am I this way? Why do I have to destroy everything and everyone worth a damn in my life?"

Kougu tried and failed to convinced Jimmy that he was fine, but it seemed this time his emotions weren't going to let him repress his feelings any longer. Jimmy watched with a slightly concerned frown, not quite as willing this time to try and comfort his friend using any physical gestures. Kougu had already made it clear that he didn't want it, and it made Jimmy somewhat uncomfortable. Was he wrong to have outright kissed his friend? Was this all because of him? He didn't really want to think so.
“I'm sorry.”
“You shouldn't be.” Jimmy scolded, seriously this time. Those words were the first clue that Kougu had somehow twisted this whole thing to be his fault. Jimmy prepared himself for the speech.
“Jimmy, why did this happen? Why... Me?”
“Oh, geez.” Jimmy groaned, dropping his head on his hand. He should have known better. Kougu had had enough on his plate already... He should have waited for a better time. He knew now that whatever he said whilst his friend was in this state it wouldn't get through to him.
“"Do you not realize that I'm possibly the most despicable human being on the planet? Satan himself wouldn't have me.” At the bitter laugh that followed, Jimmy's frown furrowed. Who the Hell had told Kougu that? Was it his father?
Bastard. Sounds like the poor guy got more than just intense physical training as a kid. What else had Kougu's father done to him?
“All I've ever done in life is let people down. My father, my family, you,”
“Me?” Jimmy pulled a face. When had Kougu let him down? The last thing he remembered was that Kougu had in fact saved his life, caught him from falling to his death into a burning building.
“...Charlie.”
“Oh yeah.” Jimmy grimaced. He'd kind of forgotten about her. Idiot. He should have realised Kougu would have taken the kiss a little too personally. Now the poor guy was ripping himself apart with guilt, and there wasn't much Jimmy could do for him.
“She trusted me, and I- I warned her not to trust me ” Kougu stopped to grip his head so hard that his hands shook. For a strange moment Jimmy thought he was having a fit, but it was just his very tired brain. He raised an eyebrow at his friend, desperately wanting to comfort him in some way, but he wasn't sure what to do to make it better. Kougu certainly had a lot on his late, and now Jimmy had gone and added to that pile.
“[/i]Why am I this way? Why do I have to destroy everything and everyone worth a damn in my life?[/i]”
“Well for one,” Jimmy replied, looking vaguely annoyed that Kougu wasn't letting him get through to anything he said. “You haven't destroyed Charlie. She's alive, and so am I. Because of you. So can you at least stop looking so miserable at that?” He reached up and prodded the middle of Kougu's head, urging his eyes to notice him without so much hair-grabbing as usual.
“Second, mate, your father is a psycho. We knew that already. Everything he's told you,” Jimmy's eyes flicked over Kougu's body, the same person who had been rushing around to save Jimmy's ass only minutes earlier. The same person who had killed Antonio for Jimmy's sake, and had been prepared to go all the way to Mexico to help him save his sister. To Jimmy, that was a person who deserved an award, not to go to Hell. “Everything he's told you, well, is obviously bullsh*t. I mean, look at you,” he gestured dramatically to Kougu. “You don't have an evil bone in your body. And since we're competing,” He raised an eyebrow challengingly, like a child having the 'boys are better than girls' argument. “If you're going to Hell I think I'd better pre-book my hotel room now, don'tcha think? Since I used to be way more of a scumbag than you ever were. That's if Hell even exists, besides what we've been living in so far.” He shrugged. Jimmy wasn't a very religious guy, but he'd seen all sorts of Hell in the past year or so and there had been no Heaven that had heard his prayers in that time.
“If it's the kiss that brought this on, then I'm sorry.” Jimmy pressed a hand over his own chest. “I can't really... Explain it, but...” Shaking his head, he turned away and stood up, surprised at how strong he felt after such a frightening experience. What were they doing, sat on a roof, soaked to the skin, discussing philosophy? “We can talk about this later, when we're both warm and dry. But for now, you have thirty seconds to get your sh*t together. You saved my life, Kougu, and I'm not going to let you sit here and mope as if you regret it all.”
With that he lowered his hand to Kougu, and raised a daring eyebrow. Just let him try and give up on life whilst Jimmy was there to kick him back onto his feet.

From the minute Jimmy began speaking, it was already obvious that Kougu was too far gone to hear his words. They split over and around him like flowing water around a stone. It was hopeless, but even so, Jimmy tried.
“Well for one,” Jimmy began, not sounding particularly pleased, “You haven't destroyed Charlie. She's alive, and so am I. Because of you. So can you at least stop looking so miserable at that?”
"That's not the point." He mumbled halfheartedly, "You don't-"
But just as he was about to tell Jimmy that he didn't understand - as if anyone ever could - a sharp prod in the forehead made him lift his gaze, and at last, he met Jimmy's eye. After that, there was no turning back. He was trapped in that silver gaze like a fly in a spider's web, and all he could do was listen to the reassuring sound of Jimmy's voice as he spewed comforting nonsense. 
“Second, mate, your father is a psycho. We knew that already. Everything he's told you,” Jimmy dropped his gaze a moment to glance him over, and Kougu's eyes dropped like lead weights to the ground, his head automatically bowing once more in his shame, “Everything he's told you, well, is obviously bullsh*t. I mean, look at you. You don't have an evil bone in your body." At this, Kougu uttered a derisive snort, looking honestly amused for a moment. If Jimmy actually believed that, then he was more crazy than Kougu had ever been. Did he even remember being throttled to within an inch of his life just a few days earlier?
"And since we're competing,” Jimmy continued, stubbornly ignoring his reaction, “If you're going to Hell I think I'd better pre-book my hotel room now, don'tcha think? Since I used to be way more of a scumbag than you ever were. That's if Hell even exists, besides what we've been living in so far.”
"Jimmy," He sighed, pushing his soaking fringe away from his forehead, "It doesn't even compare... The things I've done- I can't even begin to repent..." He trailed off, quickly abandoning his objections. There was no point arguing; Jimmy was only trying to comfort him in the first place, and though he appeared unexpectedly tolerant, Kougu knew that it would not last long. He could sense his friend's annoyance already, and even despite everything that had happened, his first instinct was still to obey and indulge the man who had earned his full respect. 
Slowly, he began to pull together the shattered pieces of himself, trying to rebuild the facade that had become all he was.
He sighed, dragging his fingers through his wet hair again. With a start, he realized that it was still mussed at the back where Jimmy's fingers had tangled in it. The memory of the kiss ran through his mind again, and he hated himself for the bubbling excitement that it brought him.
The silence dragged on a moment, and then Jimmy spoke again, “If it's the kiss that brought this on, then I'm sorry.”
"Not at all." He assured his friend quickly, shaking his head, "I just-" He broke off as Jimmy continued.
“I can't really... Explain it, but...” Slowly, his eyes lifted to Jimmy, and even through the overwhelming guilt, he found himself burning with curiosity, longing for the explanation that - as luck would have it - was not to come. He watched his friend stand and turn away, a pillar of strength as always, and slowly began rearranging his own lame legs.
“We can talk about this later, when we're both warm and dry." Jimmy decided at last, his voice suddenly firm as he held out his hand, "But for now, you have thirty seconds to get your sh*t together. You saved my life, Kougu, and I'm not going to let you sit here and mope as if you regret it all."
Taking a deep breath, Kougu nodded mutely, and reached out with trembling fingers to take Jimmy's hand, allowing his friend to pull him to his feet. His weak legs shuddered a moment, unwilling to support him, but Kougu ignored their objections and stood anyway, awkwardly dropping Jimmy's hand as he found his balance.
"I'm sorry." He murmured again, pushing his good hand into his pocket and dropping his gaze to the ground, "I'm... Not sure what came over me there."
My God, I'm pathetic. A total disgrace. How could I sit here and bawl my eyes out in front of the very person who's approval means the most to me?
"It won't happen again." Kougu promised quietly, brushing himself off as if he'd never lost his composure in the first place. "Right... I suppose we should find a way down from here, then."

***

The journey back passed in a combination of awkward silence and pointless smalltalk. Hidden easily behind his mask once more, no trace of Kougu's breakdown remained in either his actions or expressions, except perhaps that he was a little more quiet than usual. The insincerity of it all was sickening, but the semblance of normality was comforting to Kougu, and it helped him to go on, pretending that the moment on the rooftop had never happened at all. They arrived back home in the early hours of the morning, and Kougu parked the remarkably still running car in the garage before heading into the house. "Want some coffee?" He called to Jimmy as he vanished into the kitchen, casually dripping blood from his dead arm without really noticing. Without waiting for an answer, he started up the kettle, then bustled about gathering mugs and spoons as it boiled. The way he was acting, nobody would have guessed that he'd been trapped in a burning building barely half an hour ago.

Since Jimmy's argument had left no room for discussion, he was glad when Kougu didn't say any more. The poor guy might not have seen the light yet, but with a little time Jimmy knew a spark would be visible, if he let himself look deep enough.
“I'm sorry.” Kougu said once he'd got to his feet, still a little wobbly, and dusted himself off. “I'm... Not sure what came over me there.”
“I am.” Jimmy replied lightly, glancing around for a ladder on the wall or any way of getting down. No, it seemed like they were going to have to climb. “But don't worry, I won't tell anyone.”
“It won't happen again.”
Oh, it will. Jimmy thought, rolling his eyes. But hopefully next time you'll be a little less self-loathing and actually listen to what I'm saying to you.
After a few minutes of testing the strength of the nearest drain pipe, the two finally made their way down to firmer ground.

The journey back was long and tedious, and mostly spent in silence as the two had a lot to think about. The trauma of the burning building would probably stay in Jimmy's unconscious for a while until he had the chance to really express himself, but there was no way he was letting himself crumble so soon after he'd seen Kougu in such a state. His friend needed a friend, guidance, and Jimmy was the only one in the country that was going to give it to him.
That's why the first thing he did when he entered the front door was head straight to the kitchen to make food. Unfortunately the only things left to eat were beans, cereal and rice. He decided to stick with beans.
“Want some coffee?”
“Please.” Jimmy replied eagerly, as he shoved a bowl of baked beans in the microwave. He turned round to study Kougu as he prepared his coffee, when something red and black caught the corner of his eye. Jimmy glanced down to see Kougu's arm, ripped hideously through the middle and dripping in a bloody trail wherever Kougu went.
“Holy sh*t!” Jimmy exclaimed, eyes widening in horror. How could he have forgotten? More importantly, how could Kougu not notice? “Kougu, you're arm's bleeding out. Go sit down, you idiot.”
Forgetting about the food, or even his coffee, Jimmy rushed around to grab the first aid box, and filled a huge bowl with some warm water from the tap. Then, without any time for questioning, he ushered Kougu to the lounge and ordered him for the second time to sit down.
“After however many years of living alone, how are you not dead?” He murmured under his breath, falling to his knees with a wet flannel. “Stick your arm in here.” He pointed to the bowl. “We need to wash off the excess blood, clean it up and get it stitched before you bleed to death.”

Just as the kettle finished boiling and Kougu turned to pour it, a sudden exclamation beside him caught his attention, and he glanced quickly toward Jimmy.
“Holy sh*t!”
"What?" He asked quickly, frowning at the panic on his friend's face.
“Kougu, your arm's bleeding out. Go sit down, you idiot.”
"Oh, that?" He glanced down at his limp arm, blood dripping from his fingers, and shrugged unconcernedly. "It's fine."
But by the time he looked up, Jimmy had already darted off to get the first aid kit. Kougu stared through the doorway for a moment, then shrugged again - with his good arm, anyway - and continued making Jimmy's coffee as if he'd never been interrupted. He was just stirring in a spoonful of sugar when his friend reappeared, and chased him out of the kitchen like a mother hen, shooing him into the lounge, where he sat down obediently, peeling off his hoodie, then looking expectantly at Jimmy.
“After however many years of living alone, how are you not dead?” Jimmy mumbled, and yet again, Kougu shrugged in response. The noncommittal gesture seemed to be something of a habit for him when it came to his well being. "Just unlucky, I guess." He joked dryly, placing his arm obediently in the bowl of water at Jimmy's instruction.
“We need to wash off the excess blood, clean it up and get it stitched before you bleed to death.
"You're being dramatic." Kougu pointed out mildly, "It's just a bit of blood, I'm not dying. It's just an awkward place, that's all."
He watched as the bowl of water slowly turned red around his arm as it soaked away the blood.
The truth was, the wound itself wasn't too bad. It was a deep puncture, and he'd managed to get a few splinters in the soft skin on the underside of his arm, but in general, he didn't see it as much of a problem. The paralysis was slightly more concerning, but he was fairly certain that the nerve damage was only temporary.
"The coffee's going to get cold." He said after a while, glancing back toward the kitchen, "I should finish making it. Can I go?"

“You're being dramatic.”
“I'm not.” Jimmy argued, biting back the frustration at Kougu's ignorance. How could he sit there and look like it was nothing? Meanwhile his arm was bleeding into the bowl, splintered in places and the ugly gash took up most of his lower arm. Jimmy honestly wondered how Kougu was still conscious.
“It's just a bit of blood, I'm not dying. It's just an awkward place, that's all”
“Oh, shut up, Kougu.” Jimmy growled, frowning at the gash as he grabbed Kougu's wrist and lifted it out of the bloody water. He picked up a small tea towel from the coffee table and dabbed the wound, then wiped it with some alcohol wipes to clean the flesh. It was sore, definitely, and there were some splinters around the main area, but it wasn't bleeding as much as before.
Kougu remained quiet for a while, then he said something about how the coffee was going cold. “I should finish making it.” He told Jimmy matter-of-factly. “Can I go?”
“No.” Jimmy told him, still frowning at the wound as if it had some impossible mathematical equation scrawled over it. He picked up some tweezers and wordlessly began to pick at the tiny shards stuck in Kougu's arm. “The coffee can wait.” There was no way he was letting Kougu run away with a wound like that. Jimmy at least needed to make sure the wound wasn't going to get worse. He remained silent until all the shards were out, and he had stitched up the wound with clumsy fingers.
“Hold that.” He handed Kougu one side of a bandage and ordered him to press it onto his arm, then wrapped the bandage firmly around Kougu's lower arm, then covered it with a loose, cotton sleeve to protect it.
It had been over an hour since Jimmy had sat him down. Confident that Kougu's arm wouldn't drop off, Jimmy sat back on his heels and smiled, relieving a lot of tension he'd been storing in his shoulders. “ Right.” He winked. “Now you can make coffee. And I'll have two sugars in mine.” He smirked cheekily as he began to clear away all the medical equipment.

When Jimmy abruptly refused Kougu's attempt to leave, he seemed to resign himself - at last - to having his wound tended to. Jimmy was already holding his arm up above his head, and he watched with mild interest as his friend cleaned the wound. At times he would twitch slightly from the pain - it was in a sensitive area, after all - but he never objected, not even when Jimmy armed himself with a pair of tweezers and started pulling out the tiny shards of wood wedged into his flesh. By the time he was done, Kougu's arm was smarting even despite the numb sensation stretching from shoulder to fingertip, and when he felt a needle jabbed through his soft skin, he couldn't help but flinch. As Jimmy went on stitching, Kougu's face slowly turned a delicate shade of grey ((Shut up. XD )) and after a while he had to turn his head to keep from seeing the needle that was stitching him up like some human canvas. It hurt. He didn't mind, but it did hurt nevertheless; fairly badly, too.
“Hold that.” He nearly jumped when Jimmy's voice startled him from his thoughts, then nodded obediently and held the bandage in place on his arm, allowing Jimmy to wrap it firmly around.
"You're getting pretty good at this." He commented mildly, watching as his friend applied the finishing touches, then dropped his arm at last. It fell limply to Kougu's side, and he grunted irritably as it smacked him in the ribs. Having a dead arm was becoming somewhat tiresome, he had to admit.
"I can go now, right?" He asked, looking wearily up at Jimmy.
“ Right.” He winked. “Now you can make coffee. And I'll have two sugars in mine.”
"Thanks." Kougu offered a brief smile as he stood up, then retreated to the kitchen, shoving the two mugs of half-made coffee into the microwave with a sigh. While they rotated slowly behind him, he opened the cupboard beside him and took out a box of Cheerios, setting it on the counter, then reaching in to grab a handful of crunchy dry cereal. He popped the malt flavoured 'O's into his mouth, then trotted back over to the microwave as it dinged at him. He rescued the coffee and stirred two spoons of sugar into Jimmy's, then hooked the two mug handles around his finger and grabbed the box of Cheerio's in his mouth. It was a cumbersome process, but there was only so much he could do with one arm.

When he reached the lounge, he held out the pair of mugs to Jimmy with some sort of muffled word that was inaudible through his mouthful of box, and once Jimmy had taken his mug, Kougu set his own down on the table, then flopped onto the cough, grabbing the box from his mouth with a relieved sigh. He reached in to grab piece of cereal, then popped it into his mouth and offered the box to Jimmy. "Cheerio?" He asked, shaking it encouragingly.

Kougu couldn't have fled to the kitchen quick enough, but Jimmy didn't mind as he could now relax knowing Kougu's arm wasn't going to drop off when he wasn't looking. Shrugging, Jimmy busied himself with clearing up all the medical equipment whilst Kougu made him a coffee, and he let his mind wander with the memories of that moment up on the rooftop.
What exactly had made him do it? Admittedly, Jimmy had wanted to kiss Kougu before, usually in moments of need, or when he was feeling emotional. But it didn't mean he understood it. What was it about Kougu that made Jimmy desperately want to be with him all the time? Not just that, but want to sit with him, actually use physical gestures to show him how good a friend he was?
Do I love him?
He shook his head. Of course not. That would make him gay, wouldn't it? No, no that wouldn't make sense. He'd never liked men before. Even if he was gay...
He shook his head again, firmer this time. He wasn't gay. He couldn't be, there was no question about it.

Once he had finished cleaning up all the first aid equipment he left the box on the side of the sofa and washed his hands in the downstairs bathroom. He shivered, realising how soaked he was from being in that dirty shower and grabbed a pair of towels; one for him and one for Kougu. When he went back to the lounge and sat down, Kougu came in from the kitchen with his bandaged arm dangling by his side, two mugs in one hand and a box of Cheerios in his mouth. It made Kougu look surprisingly normal, if you ignored the arm, that is.
Jimmy accepted his coffee gratefully, and was more than happy to steal a handful of Cheerios from the cereal box and shove them all in his mouth.
“Fanks.” He murmured through his mouthful of food, and began to flick through the TV channels, stopping as an episode of Family Guy came on.
But despite trying to get into one of his favourite shows, Jimmy couldn't stop thinking about Kougu's reaction to the kiss earlier on that night. His heart ached with guilt when he remembered the way Kougu's shoulders shook with the sobs and the self-loathing babble that he kept spouting. Was the kiss really the cause of all that? Either way Jimmy needed to say something.
“I'm... I'm sorry about earlier.” He said quietly. “I should have realised you'd take it hard. It was just a spur of the moment thing, I guess.” He shrugged, then sipped quietly at his coffee.. The truth was Jimmy knew it hadn't just been a spur-of-the-moment thing, but if Kougu really truly hated himself for it, even when it had been Jimmy's doing, there was no point upsetting the guy further.
“Can I just-” He began awkwardly, then gulped another mouthful of coffee. “Can I ask... How did you feel about it? At the time, I mean. Before you broke down.”
I need to know. Jimmy thought to himself. I need to know if I imagined it, or if you really do feel the same. If that's the case, then we need to think about where we're going to go from here.

Once Jimmy had taken a handful of Cheerios, Kougu dipped his own hand into the box again, and munched on them quietly until he grew thirsty enough to abandon them and reach of his coffee instead. He took a sip, then wrinkled his nose at the taste; even more bitter with the sweet taste of the Cheerio's still clinging to his tongue. "Ugh." He mumbled, sipping it again anyway as his eyes strayed to the fat cartoon man on the TV screen. He watched it absentmindedly for a while, until Jimmy suddenly spoke up beside him, sounding unexpectedly grim.
“I'm... I'm sorry about earlier.” He murmured, and Kougu glanced towards him in surprise. Hadn't he already said it was fine?
“I should have realised you'd take it hard. It was just a spur of the moment thing, I guess.”
"It's fine." He assured his friend quickly, shaking his head, "Don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault I reacted like a crazy person."
Thinking that was the end of it, Kougu turned back to the TV and took another sip of his coffee, but just as he was about to settle down to watch the show, Jimmy spoke again.
“Can I just-”
"Hm?" He frowned at the awkwardness in his friend's voice, and when he looked up he found Jimmy gulping down his coffee like the elixir of life, obviously keen for the excuse to stall. He had a feeling he wasn't going to like what was coming, and he was right.
“Can I ask... How did you feel about it? At the time, I mean. Before you broke down.”
The words 'How did you feel' seemed to hold some sort of taboo for him, because the moment he heard them, Kougu tensed. He was not fond of talking about his feelings at the best of times, let alone in the aftermath of some kind of mental breakdown. But at the same time, he didn't want to leave Jimmy hanging when it had clearly taken some courage to ask the question in the first place. His frown deepened as he sipped again at his coffee, pondering his conundrum. But the silence dragged on, and when still no answer occurred to him, Kougu finally shook his head and said honestly, "I don't know."
There was silence again after that, broken only by the dull ticking of the grandfather clock in the hall, and the animated voices issuing from the TV's speakers. Kougu picked absentmindedly at a crack on his nail, trying hard not to think too much about the kiss, and all the trauma that went with it... Trying harder not to think about Charlie, and how he'd let her down.
The silence grew thicker, and as it pressed down on him, Kougu pushed his damp hair back from his face, and tried again.
"I mean, I-" He swallowed uncertainly, "I suppose I..." Another pause, and then he admitted hesitantly, "At first it... Seemed to make sense, I guess. Somehow. But I can't tell you how I felt; I barely understand emotion at the best of times." He shook his head. "I felt different, that's all. Different."
Is that the answer you were looking for, Jimmy? I wonder... How did you feel? Just what is it that drove you to kiss me back there?

The silence that followed was pain-staking, and or a while Jimmy realised he might not get an answer. What had happened on that rooftop seemed to be somewhat of a taboo subject, and so soon after it had happened neither had had a chance to think about it properly, and let it sink in. It had confused them both, especially the way they'd both reacted, so maybe it had been too early to bring it up.
Eventually, Kougu replied simply. “I don't know.
Jimmy nodded at this. It was fair enough, he didn't really know either.
“I mean I- I suppose I... ” A hesitant pause, then, “At first it... Seemed to make sense, I guess. Somehow. But I can't tell you how I felt; I barely understand emotion at the best of times.”
Jimmy didn't want to pressure him, but when he looked up at the man, he felt some form of relief lift off the weight on his shoulders. 'It seemed to make sense' was exactly how he'd felt about it. There hadn't been many thoughts that had gone through his mind on that rooftop. No 'I wonder if's or 'how would he react if's. It had just... Made sense. This, at least, made him feel better.
“I felt different, that's all. Different.”
Nodding, Jimmy reached into the box of Cheerios and stole another handful, now nibbling on them with a speck of decency. “That's how I felt, too.” He agreed, popping another Cheerio in his mouth.
And that was it: the end of the conversation. Jimmy saw no point in pushing it further than it needed to go when it had happened not long before that moment. He'd give them both a chance to think about it for a while.
Jimmy found himself getting more and more into the show they were watching, and laughed quietly at the poor jokes, until the show finally finished and the adverts came on. Uninterested by this point, Jimmy found himself staring thoughtfully into space whilst he munched on the dry cereal between them. “I'm sorry about the whole Bloods thing.” He looked down, trying not to think about the fact that they'd both nearly died because of him. “I messed up. Really, for a chav with a criminal record I really am a sh*te liar, aren't I?” He laughed bitterly, then dropped the remaining Cheerios in his hand back into the box. Remember the burning building had kind of destroyed his appetite.

After a moment's silence, Kougu lifted his head, peering up at Jimmy from beneath his fringe. He looked for some indication that his answer had been acceptable, and after he'd finished a mouthful of Cheerios, Jimmy gave it to him. 
“That's how I felt, too.” He agreed, and Kougu mirrored his friend's nod as he looked back at the screen, still picking unconsciously at his nail. That was good, he supposed. At least he and Jimmy were on the same page, although Kougu was no closer to understanding what had happened, much less why it had happened. Perhaps, deep down, he already knew - but he was far from ready to accept the truth. It was easier, much easier, just to live in blissful ignorance. 

With the conversation at an end, Kougu and Jimmy watched the show in peaceful - albeit slightly awkward - silence, until it finally came to an end, and the ads came on once more. Kougu made a move to get up and take the mugs away. But then Jimmy began talking, and after a moment's hesitance, Kougu sat obediently back down to listen.
“I'm sorry about the whole Bloods thing.” He mumbled, and Kougu blinked in surprise at the guilty look on his face. Surely, Jimmy didn't think this was his fault?!
“I messed up." He went on, "Really, for a chav with a criminal record I really am a sh*te liar, aren't I?”
He raised his eyebrows for a moment, then covered his mouth as a quiet chuckle escaped his lips. "Jimmy," He said, with the air of someone explaining something painfully obvious, "That's a good thing, stupid." He shook his head, then offered a faint half-smile. "Nothing that happened back there is your fault, you know. Anybody would crack under that kind of pressure. If anything, I should have prepared you better. We didn't have a good enough back story. From the start, the lie was transparent. Who cares if we failed?" He shrugged, "You win some, you lose some. At least we're not dead."
With that, Kougu got to his feet, dusting off the Cheerio crumbs on his hand, then hooking the handles of the two mugs onto his finger.
"Come on." He said, giving Jimmy's foot a brief nudge with his own. "If you're really sorry, you'll help me with the dishes. It'll take forever with one hand."

When Kougu began to laugh, Jimmy immediately switched to a defensive mood, and glared stonily at his friend. “What're you laughing at?” he demanded, crossing his arms sulkily over his chest. Seriously, here he was being honest, and Kougu was going to-
“Jimmy,”
“What?” Jimmy grumbled.
“That's a good thing, stupid.”
Jimmy glared at him. It wasn't a good thing when whether a good lie would determine whether they lived or died. It wasn't a good thing when they were on the run and could be arrested at any point.
“Nothing that happened back there is your fault, you know. Anybody would crack under that kind of pressure. If anything, I should have prepared you better. We didn't have a good enough back story. From the start, the lie was transparent. Who cares if we failed?” Jimmy raised his eyebrows. Since when had Kougu become so light-hearted? Had he not had a mental breakdown about the fact that he'd apparently 'failed' everyone in his life?
“You win some, you lose some. At least we're not dead.”
“We nearly were.” Jimmy grumbled under his breath, staring with little interest at the adverts on the TV. Kougu could spout this crap all he liked, but Jimmy would still see what happened as his fault.
He stopped, jerked and blinked. He realised then with horror that they had somehow managed to completely switch roles.
Am I going to have a breakdown? He thought stupidly, then glanced back up at Kougu, who was looking at him now with an incredibly annoying smile. Jimmy would have punched him if he knew Kougu wouldn't have sooner floored him. He'd stood up now, with more enrgy than Jimmy had left in him. “Come on,” Kougu nudged his foot, and he grunted in annoyance. “If you're really sorry, you'll help me with the dishes. It'll take forever with one hand.”
Jimmy glared at him for a while, but honestly, his friend looked far too adorable to be angry at. “You play a hard bargain, my friend.” He teased, pushing himself to his feet. “But I'll follow you up on that, since I kinda owe you.”
With a smug little grin, Jimmy snatched the Cheerios box from Kougu and shoved a hand of cereal in his mouth, as if to prove some sort of point, and strolled to the kitchen.

And so from then, Kougu worked on washing the dishes, Jimmy helped him out and dried the pots. Although the pots they used were minimal however, they took longer to sort out due to Kougu only using one arm. More than once Jimmy had to reach over and help Kougu out with washing something, either holding it for him or scrubbing at some dirty mark in an unreachable place. By the time they had finished, Jimmy dried his hands on the nearest tea towel, then dropped it on the counter beside him.
“I think we can both agree that you are near physically useless with one arm.” Jimmy teased, nudging Kougu's good arm with his elbow. “And yet you'd still be able to beat me in a brawl, wouldn't you?”
He turned round and leant back coolly on the worktop, and turned his head towards Kougu. No matter how he stood he was shorter than his friend, but his confident demeanour was enough to make up for this. When he looked up at Kougu and levelled their faces, he smirked that same cocky smirk that he usually wore, neither advancing nor backing away, and lifted those icy blue eyes to challenge Kougu's dark gaze.
Then, as simple as the moment had arrived, Jimmy shut it away. He stepped away, raising his hand in a backward wave. “Get some sleep.” He ordered. “I mean it, this time. Sleep, forty-winks, whatever. Don't push yourself tonight.” He reached the bottom of the stair case, then turned his head to glance back at his friend, eyes twinkling. “I'm going to bed. Thanks again for today.”

Kougu held Jimmy's gaze innocently as his friend glared at him, until finally, Jimmy yielded to his request. “You play a hard bargain, my friend.” He said, the teasing twinkle quickly returning to his eye, “But I'll follow you up on that, since I kinda owe you."
"Good." He answered, managing a subtle half-smile as Jimmy snatched the Cheerios from him. They headed through to the kitchen together, and Kougu dumped the mugs in the sink with the rest of the dishes that he'd been in too much of a rush to wash the previous evening. With a muffled yawn, he turned on the water and squeezed in some dishwashing liquid, watching as it foamed up before him. It smelled faintly of lemon, and when he started scrubbing at the dishes, the soapy suds were slippery on his fingers. He and Jimmy worked in companionable silence for the most part, and he soon came to realize that it was just as well Jimmy had agreed to help, since trying to hold a plate and wash it at the same time was really near impossible with only one arm. 
When they'd finally finished washing up, Jimmy turned away to dry his hands on the dish towel, and Kougu stood with his own dripping as he waited his turn. 
“I think we can both agree that you are near physically useless with one arm.” Jimmy commented teasingly, and Kougu squirmed away ticklishly when Jimmy nudged him, stealing the towel to dry his dripping hands.
“And yet you'd still be able to beat me in a brawl, wouldn't you?"
"Probably." Kougu admitted with a half-smile, raising one shoulder in a modest shrug. He looked back at Jimmy, finding him leaning casually against the counter, and tilted his head slightly as he considered his friend. Jimmy had a weird look on his face, and when those piercing silver eyes met Kougu's, he felt an icy chill pass right through him. There was something about that cocky smirk that held Kougu trapped, enchanted by the sheer power that was Jimmy Mackintosh. In that moment, he knew that had Jimmy asked him to do anything at all, he would have been powerless to refuse. Those eyes stabbed right into his heart, and he felt suddenly breathless as nerves bubbled up in his stomach, boiling over to leave a steamy redness rising in his cheeks.
One look, and Jimmy had him on his knees. Figuratively, anyway. How he did it, Kougu didn't even know, but something about the look on his face at that moment was... Captivating. And the defiant look in Jimmy's eyes showed that he knew it, too.
Just what are you planning, Jimmy...? What exactly do you hope to achieve with this power that you hold over me...?

Then, in a flash, the moment was gone. Jimmy's eyes fell away, releasing Kougu from their spell, as he stepped away, raising a hand in a backwards wave.
“Get some sleep.” He ordered, and after seeing the confidence in his stance, Kougu didn't so much as think to disobey. “I mean it, this time. Sleep, forty-winks, whatever. Don't push yourself tonight.”
"Okay." He answered, as obedient as a trained lapdog. His eyes tracked Jimmy's progress right until he stopped, and turned back with a twinkle in his eye.
“I'm going to bed. Thanks again for today.”
"Mm-m." Kougu shook his head, "I didn't do anything. Thank you" He smiled faintly, "Even if we didn't quite accomplish what we hoped, we got as far as we did because of you." He paused a moment, then added, "Get a good rest, Jimmy. You deserve it."
With that, he offered a brief smile, then turned away back to his own bedroom. After a scare like the one he'd faced earlier, he honestly was feeling tired enough to catch some sleep.
So, true to his word, he went through the motions of showering and changing like a sleepwalker, then collapsed into his bed and let the tiredness take him. And take him he did, to a sleep far deeper than any he'd ever experienced before. A sleep so heavy with exhaustion that it went beyond the realm of his dreams, to where his overtaxed mind was full of a glorious, black nothingness. By the time he came to well after 10AM the following morning, he felt like he'd barely closed his eyes at all.

Yawning and groaning faintly under his breath, he heaved himself out of bed, wincing as he rubbed his messy hair away from his face. His body ached all over, but on the up-side, the pain had extended to the muscles in his dead arm, and his fingers had begun to twitch on command, which was a good sign. He hoped that in a few more days he'd have full use of both arms once more.
"Jimmy?" He called questioning, trudging out of his room with hair like a Yeti, and yawning widely. "What time is it...?"
Still half asleep, he shuffled over to the front door, fumbling with the keys to get it unlocked. With the mission afoot, he always had to keep up to date with the latest news, so fetching the morning paper had become the first part ofr his every day in America. Even if it was a little late, that day was no different.
Shivering slightly in the morning air, he hurried down the driveway, then crouched down and - too lazy to open the gate - reached under the fence to pull the mail over to his side. He stacked it all together with the help of a foot, then clawed it into his good hand and jogged back to the front door, hooking the mail under his arm as he pulled the door closed behind him, shivering gratefully as he entered back into the warm inside air.
"Have you had breakfast yet?" He called absentmindedly to Jimmy as he flicked through the mail, "I could make panc..." He trailed off, frowning thoughtfully as he came across an unexpected envelope, with his name scrawled on the front in untidy print.
Confused and somewhat anxious, he felt his teeth begin grinding together as he considered the envelope, slowly putting down the rest of the mail, and turning it over uncertainly in his hands. There was something somehow familiar and comforting about it, but try as he might, he couldn't quite place the feeling. All he knew was that he had a bad feeling about it, and it was with shaky fingers that he began clawing that mystery letter open.