Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)

Samuels had taken into account the boy's unpleasant back chat as he'd spoke although he'd decided very wisely that he wouldn't comment. First of all, he didn't want to intimidate the boy, and second, he couldn't think of an appropriate answer anyway. Eyes cast anxiously downwards, he silently sat himself down, pushing aside his now cold coffee mug he had been drinking from earlier with the back of his hairy hand. It was revolting anyway, as the taste was cheap and left an unpleasant after taste in his mouth, he'd not really drank more than a fraction of it anyway. His eyes arose to the boy once again as he spoke, and he found his fingers knotting together as they rested themselves on the plastic-feeling table cloth. The boy's words lingered around in his brain, and he soon found himself deciding that he was being serious, and that his part in this 'L.A.I.K.O' was no joke whatsoever. The thought made him nervous, but he was careful to not show it. The last thing he wanted was to show this intruder that he was a coward, something he was most certainly not. No, he would just show him the amount of respect he would do so for anyone who may want to negotiate with him in any other case, and remember to remain aware of his power that the boy had over the industries he was supposedly part of. He listened carefully to the options he had been given, the creases around his eyes deepening as they slowly narrowed, until his eyes were no longer round, but little slits on his face that hid the sickly blackness that were his irises, in attempt to hide the flashes of panic that were dying to appear on his face, defining what should have been a look of ultimate horror. Was the boy joking when he said he'd have him killed and start a civil war? Samuels suddenly had a noxious feeling in the pit of his stomach, as if answering the question for him. No, he wasn't kidding.

He sat back in his chair, causing a almost silent 'creak' to echo across the room, as he thought through his options. Well, there wasn't anything else there that would ensure that he would live, or that the entire country would remain at peace, not matter which one he chose. He couldn't chose either. It was just impossible, he couldn't chose an option and live for the remaining week, nor could he let the country break into a civil war. But those criminals had to be punished, it was the law... He shook his head, running his hand over his dry face. No criminal was worth this much bother. No criminal was worth dying for. Slowly, the Officer raised his head to look the boy in the eye, taking a deep breath. He had to choose his words carefully. “Okay...” he started, before clearing his throat awkwardly. Was that really his voice? “Well, I usually wouldn't take too kindly to being threatened, especially by my life. And this here is no exception. But, it seems I have no choice in the matter...” He sighed, taking a moment to gather her thoughts together. He wouldn't chose between the choices he'd been given, as he knew they would both end in death anyway, and not only his own. Only a fool would chose to start a civil war just for the sake of arresting a couple of pathetic little criminals such as Charlie and her mother. There were two options... But now, he would have to create one more. “I tell you what...” He bit the side of his lip, thoughtfully, leaning forward in his chair. So, perhaps it wasn't what he wanted, bit hey, he could always get them back... At least, if they decided to move back into this house he was in, as gross and distasteful as it was, he would happily visit them sometime in the future. “Alright, since you've given me not much choice I guess I'll cooperate. The girl and her mother can go, you take them into your custody if you so wish. But the girl must give back the item she stole from the museum, and her record will remain as it was before you arrived this morning. I'm already unhappy that justice could not be done after the crimes she committed, but the law is the law. She broke it, several times, therefore those details will stay on paper records for everyone to see. She gets her freedom, but she will not walk away from me, or the law, Scott free. You may not be a man of the law, sir, but I am. And I simply won't allow it” He said firmly, his lips pressed together so hard they were loosing colour. He knew he was being stubborn, but he wasn't going to walk away from this case without achieving something, even if he was forced to let her go in the process. He had a rep to keep up. He sighed tiredly, keeping his icy gaze on the boy's as he looked back at him with his mysteriously dark eyes. They seemed to lock his vision to the boy opposite him, and he almost couldn't drag his gaze away in fear he would sooner regret it. But wait, what was he cowering for? He was the one with the gun. As he'd said to the other officers, he was just as heavily armed as they were. Anyway, Evans was right outside the door as instructed, and by his reaction to his orders, the man had seemed very enthusiastic about being given something to do. He wouldn't let his boss down. But on the other hand, it was Evans. He could point a gun at someone, but that's about as far as he dared to go. He'd never pull the trigger, even if his own life was on the line. Even if someone was being killed right in front of him. Samuels huffed miserably, almost looking looking alike an old man, at least ten years older than his actual age. He tended to to that when he was stressed out or frustrated at his own foolish decisions. Why hadn't he put him in charge of the girl, instead of trusting him to protect his boss if anything went wrong? Johnson was much more reliable with handling weapons. Great, something else he 'd messed up today. Something as minor as that could cause a problem, especially if he ended up on this boy's bad side. Samuels clenched his jaw, mentally kicking himself for his own false decisions. Was he loosing his touch? Having been on the police force for, what, five or six years? And now he was showing defeat to a shaggy-looking eighteen or nineteen year old. Perhaps his boss was right. Perhaps he should think about taking a less stressful role in the law business. One thing he did know, he was certainly not getting paid enough for what was happening to him today.



I was alone.
Alone, that is, apart from the freaky-looking policeman stood by the door. His gaze on me seemed to burn through my skull, but I refused to look at him. My future was in the hands of a teenager, and I was anxious to find out what was going on in there. Why couldn't I hear them talking? These walls were as thin as paper, so realistically, I should have heard them. But their voices were hushed, just making me feel more and more restless as the minutes wore on. I was dying to know what was going on, what they were talking about. And that police officer when he saw Kougu's scar...what was that all about? How did they even know him? If I got out of here, I would most certainly demand answers from him. There was something important he wasn't telling me, and I was going to find out what it was.

Then a thought occurred to me. His father. Was he something to do with why the policeman had acted so... so panic-stricken when he'd realised who Kougu was... Whoever he was. I knew his name, that was it. That's all I knew about him. But it took something pretty bad for a policeman to fear someone as young as he was – although he was older than me, but that wasn't the point – to get such a bad reputation at his age must have started well into early childhood. There were murderers out there that had been killing for decades and the police didn't fear them. They only feared what they would do next. But this... This was just uncanny. But it wasn't just him they feared. No... it was more than that. It was like there was something beyond him that the police feared more. Something much bigger than me, or Kougu, or even the Police force. There was something out there that was as big as... well, I didn't know. But there was something big out there, a company...no, a movement, that even brought the police to tremble in fear. Something Kougu had kept from me all this time. Was it that he didn't trust me? Was it that he didn't think I'd believe him? I wasn't a very gullible person, but if he'd told me he was part of a movement more dangerous than any amount of dangerous criminals out there, I would have believed him. After what I'd seen what he was capable of, I'd believe anything that he told me. Mostly, because he was one of those people that were terrible liars. I would know, I was also one of them. I wrapped my arms nervously around my legs and pulled them up to my chest, resting my chin on the tips of my knees. I just wanted it to be over. I wanted to see my mother, I had to make sure she was alright. I hadn't seen her in such a long time, and I didn't even know if she'd be pleased to see me after what I'd done to her. Guilt flooded to my already hot cheeks, and I had to sallow hard to stop the tears from streaming from my eyes. The wait, the never ending wait... It was torture. What was taking them so long?

“You drive a fair bargain, Sir.” Kougu replied with a nod. “I’ll accept your terms, though please leave here with the knowledge that any unjust act committed against either of them will not go unpunished. That is to say, assuming no more severe crimes are committed by either, you may not lay a finger on them.” He fixed the man with a stern glare, making sure his point was as clear as a wine goblet of lead crystal, and powerful enough to get drunk off. “Try anything, anything at all, and I will know, mark my words.” He warned darkly, raising one eyebrow as he watched the Officer. “Well, I needn’t tell you what would happen after that.” Kougu announced with a faint smile, getting to his feet and holding out his hand. “You’re a sensible man.” Kougu informed him matter-of-factly, “And I thank you for your flexibility.” He finished. With that, he brushed past the man and left the kitchen, completely forgetting about the fact that he had offered a handshake. It had been a stupid thing to do anyway. He didn’t shake hands.

Kougu was barely able to stifle a sigh of relief as he walked through the door. A pulse was beating sickening on his brain, causing a dull ache that not only hurt his head like hell, but also made him feel feverish and nauseous. He collapsed against the wall, grasping it for support, and began breathing heavily, struggling to get a grip. His lungs were refusing to cooperate properly as the spiking pain in his head distracted him more and more. He couldn’t show weakness now… Not yet… They weren’t safe yet… Kougu bit down hard on his lower lip, drawing blood instantly from the intensity of his bite, yet he refused to let go. It was all he could do to keep himself from breaking down. Suddenly, he noticed that the other officer, Evans, as gaping shamelessly at him. Kougu shot him a dark glare, and he quailed instantly, shrinking back into the wall behind him away from the horrific scene before him. Kougu wiped the blood from his mouth with a swift, irritable movement that instantly pushed his temper to its limits as he realized that his father might do the same sort of thing. He tried to force his thoughts onto the correct track, then stepped into the sitting room, glancing from Charlie to the other policeman. “Officer Johnson.” Kougu demanded sharply, looking the man in the eye. “You are to fetch this girl’s mother and bring her here so that I may assess the damage and punish you accordingly.” Kougu informed him coldly. He waited for the officer to leave the room before walking over to the couch where Charlie sat, still keeping the same still, official stance he had been holding all this time. His expression was so cold and unfeeling, he might have been one of the police, instead of their challenger. Then he turned his gaze to Charlie, looking directly at her, and the weakness that he had been trying to hard to hide began to show. Completely losing its cold authority, Kougu’s expression suddenly seemed pathetic and childlike. He placed his long fingered hands on the back of the couch and doubled over, resting his forehead on his hands so that his hair fell down to hide his face. He mumbled something incoherent, then raised his head and stared beseechingly at Charlie.

“Please… Help me.” Kougu begged in a pained whisper, his pale face showing the full extent of his expression for once, which in turn showed the full extent of the weakness he had been hiding. He was trembling all over, clearly ready to break down at any second. Of course, his logical mind told him that there was nothing Charlie could do about his predicament, but he couldn’t help himself. He had become too dependent on her, and now he had convinced himself that he couldn’t cope alone… And that he needed her to pull him through this. Where the thought had come from he had no idea, but no matter how hard he tried he simply could not banish it from his mind. “I can’t take it… Much longer…” He gasped in a hoarse whisper, his legs giving way so that he had to grip the couch for support. He tried to hold on, but his limbs felt weak and rubbery, and the next thing he knew, he was on his knees on the ground, panting and trembling as a migraine that could slay an elephant raged within his skull. Damn… Why hadn’t he thought to bring his medication along with him?!

Kougu was back on his feet in an instant as he heard the creak of a floorboard that indicated that somebody was approaching. Before so much as a second had passed, Kougu was the very picture of composure, standing so tall and still that he would not have looked out of place in a business meeting, despite his lack of concern for his appearance, and his sloppy attire. “Can I help you?” He asked coldly, fixing his dark gaze on Officer Evans as he crept gradually closer. “N-no sir!” He squeaked in response, and Kougu narrowed his eyes, glaring threateningly at the shorter man. “What do you want?” He growled, keeping his voice steady and his act convincing only with a Herculean effort. “Nothing!” Evans squeaked in reply, turning and scurrying away when Kougu made to move toward him. Kougu gave a cold, formal chuckle as he left, probably to hide behind the presumably frustrated Officer Samuels.

Kougu spun around again the instant he sensed they were alone again. “Charlie, please!” He choked in a strangled whisper, no longer caring about the strong image he was trying to uphold, and fully ready to break down completely in front of her. “Don’t make me do it… Don’t make me go on an longer… It hurts.” His voice cracked on the final word as he dropped to his knees again, collapsing against the chair beside her. His strangled breath shook his entire body as his fingernails dug into the dirty cover of the couch. He tried to control the shuddering, but to no avail. He was desperate now. He needed help… He had pushed himself simply too far, and clinging to his sanity was becoming too big a challenge. It had got to the point where all he could do was sit back and wonder which would give in first, his body or his mind. Every single thing he said and did reminded him so much of his father that he could think of basically nothing else. The images flashed through his mind like an endless record, a film of his life, replaying the horrors time and time again as though determined to test his emotional strength at its limits. Perhaps if he had been negotiating with somebody, anybody different it might have been easier, but the sad truth was that Samuels was his father’s sort of man. They were the sort who would only listen to themselves, or men like themselves. It was as though everybody else spoke a different language… As for Kougu, he was not good under pressure in normal circumstances, never mind in a house full of strangers while pretending to be like the only person in the world that he hated more than himself. Breathing slowly and deeply, Kougu made an attempt to calm his nerves and get to his feet, suddenly refusing to look at Charlie when he hadn’t been able to look away from her a mere moment before. “It’s almost over…” He muttered to himself, closing his eyes and whispering the same comforting words over and over. Somehow it felt better to know that there was now somebody who knew he was not as unbreakable as he liked to pretend to be. He was as fragile and vulnerable as everybody else was, no, even more so than most. He was so close to being ready to give up, that all he could do was rely on the fact that it would all be over in a matter of minutes, and then Charlie would know… She would understand what he had been through and how it was hurting him, and she would know how to fix it all and make the sickening pain go away. In the logical part of his mind he knew that all this was impossible, but he had nothing left to hold him to his hope but for the belief that he could rely on the only person on the earth that he was truly willing to trust, to pull him through at the end when he could no longer pull himself.

Kougu felt his legs become steadier beneath him as he calmed himself, and he released the chair, stiffening his spine and resuming his act as he heard the creak of a floorboard nearby. He hoped Charlie had her wits about her, because there was no way he’d still be all right after this. The pressure on his brain was escalating, and soon he could hear the sickeningly familiar clicking that he had come to despise so much. He hoped she still had the gun with her… She might be needing it after this… Even on the off chance that he managed to control himself, he’d be a hopeless wreck afterwards. The knowledge made him feel weak and useless, but he hid the thoughts as he had been trained to do, casually maintaining his same composed, official attitude.

Well, that was some very...interesting three minute conversation, if not somewhat intimidating. If that boy had not played an important part of a dangerous business, if he wasn't related to the possible head of L.A.I.K.O and if his threats weren't those of a L.A.I.K.O member, Samuels would have waved off his requests, and his threats, with a careless flick of his hand. But now he had gone against everything he believed in, as he'd failed at making sure justice had been done for the crimes the girl had committed, and for what? Just so he could walk away without having a teenagers death threats weighing him down everywhere he went? He'd never been so easily put off by a single person's actions towards him before, so why had this time been so different? With an annoyed roll of his eyes, he huffed, rising to his feet as the youth began to speak. Huh, there was nothing like rubbing it in with a nice, pleasant threat of his life, was there? He should have been trembling like his colleague Evans outside the door, but he wasn't. He was furious, but mostly for himself. He'd failed at his job, he'd let a boy less than half his age get to him and he'd given him exactly what he wanted, and without a fight. Perhaps his boss had been right all along. Perhaps he had lost his touch. He said nothing as the boy walked past him into the other room with the girl, as he was too busy beating himself up to be thinking of a convenient reply. He began anxiously pacing across the tiny kitchen, bringing his fist to his chin as he nervously began to think of what would happen next. He could not let word get round that he let a guilty criminal off the hook without a fight. He had a reputation to keep up, and he couldn't let that one stupid girl destroy his rep without even putting in an effort. No, he would have to play hardball from now on. But how? How could he possibly beat what he'd achieved before Charlie? He silently crept to the kitchen table, striking a clenched fist to a corner of the wood. Pain throbbed up and down his hand, but he didn't care. The anger burning in his heart was hurting far more. Letting out a roar of frustration, as quiet as he could make it, he pushed himself off the table, running a hand through his short, sandy blonde hair. Right. He'd tried being cooperative, he'd tried being firm. Neither seemed to work. Now he was left with the final option, and he would let no one get in his way. This was it.

No more Mister Nice Guy.


(xD)

It probably hadn't been long, a few minutes, maybe? But it was enough, it was enough to give me doubts. Why weren't they out yet? Why couldn't they just tell me I was going to prison and be done with it? Were they arguing over me? I didn't quite know why, but it just seemed to make me uncomfortable, that people might actually be getting angry at each other over me. I wasn't worth it, and everyone knew that. I wasn't worth people getting upset or frustrated over what happened to my life. Why was Kougu even bothering? Why didn't he just hand me into the police? Then he could go home knowing he wasn't at risk of arrest just because he knew me. I slumped miserably on the sofa, inhaling the faint fumes of cigarettes that reminded me so much of my father, all those years ago. We hadn't talked about him for such a long time, because I knew there wasn't any point trying with my mother anymore. I missed him, and I wished he had been here to stand up to the police today so that Kougu wouldn't have to. Sometimes I wished it was me that died instead of him. I mean, he'd already got some sort of future, he was already part way through living his life. I was only ten. What did I have? Part of an education, and barely even that. Tears pricking at my eyes, I reached behind me to the small navy blue cushion I had been leaning on and hugged it tightly, inhaling the warm, much stronger scent of my father's smoked tobacco. It was like he was actually there with me, once again. Oh, I needed him there with me, desperately. I sniffed, curling up even tighter on the sofa. You used to call me your angel / said I was sent straight down from heaven / I never wanted you to leave / I wanted you to stay here holding me... I gently sang to myself, remembering the lyrics I'd written in my room a few weeks after I'd heard that he'd died from the accident. Johnson probably couldn't even hear me, but my thoughts were no longer of him, or the other policemen that were lingering on the other side of the walls. I wanted my father. I needed him, with all my heart. If I could do something to bring him back, just for today... But it wasn't going to happen, was it? No matter how much I cried about it. I sniffed once again, suddenly noticing the sniveling sound that was made every time I took in a breath through my nose. Then came the wetness on my cheeks... How long had I been crying? I miss you/ I miss your smile/ I still shed a tear/ every once in a while... / And even though it's different now /You're still here somehow /My heart won't let you go /I need you to know /I miss you... I let out a heartfelt whimper as the tears suddenly began to stream down my cheeks, dripping off my chin to the tobacco-stained material on the cushion. “What do I do?” I whispered, my eyes scrunching closed as I imagined what my father would say to me if here was there. “Straighten up, little soldier” was something he had said to me when I'd first told him about Jennifer, and I had burst into tears in his arms. A luxury I could no longer afford. “Hey, what you crying about? You've got me” Yes, helpful, Dad. You're no longer here, so now what? A quick movement on the door made me jump, and I quickly wiped my eyes free of the tears that had so easily moistened the skin around my eyes, making me look more tired than I actually felt. I mean, sure I hadn't slept for a day or two, but sleep could wait...for an hour or two. I'd need to rest sometime, though. Whether that was in a prison cell or a sofa. I wasn't fussed. I looked up to see Kougu entering the room, and I completely forgot about the cushion and the cigarette smell wafting through my nostrils, and my attention was completely drawn to him. Wow, he looked tense. So, was that good or bad? He ordered Officer Johnson to fetch my mother and I regarded whether I should go with him or not, but Kougu obviously needed to talk to me. I looked up at him, my eyes wide and glassy as I waited for him to tell me what was going on. Instead, he began to plead for help. I had no idea why, but he did look pretty desperate. What was wrong with him? Why did he sound so in pain?

I rose to my feet, rather shakily, and watched him as he sank to his knees, gasping in fear that I couldn't help him with his pain. I didn't even know why he was in pain in the first place. I mean, what had they been going in there, challenging their inner demons or something? I never believed in such things, but he was panting and giving the overall impression that he was suffering from excruciating pain from within himself that he could no longer hide. My head shook in disbelief that, once again, I was unable to help him from what he was going through. “Wh-...? B- Kougu I can't....” But he was up again, and the freaked out Policeman – Evans, I think he was called – was stood by the door, although he was only half-heartedly wanting to be there, if at all, when in Kougu's presence. Seriously! Why were they all so threatened by him? I mean, sure, he was tall, had a scar, and he could be scary when he had to be. But out of all the criminals that the Police Force had had to deal with, and it just so happened to be Kougu they were all so scared of? Yeah, him and I were going to have a long talk about all this later on. As Evans scuttled away again, Kougu turned back to me, and began to tremble again. But I couldn't understand... What was wrong with him? “Kougu... Kougu, tell me what's wrong. What's hurting you? Just...” But what could I say? I sank to my knees opposite him, completely unsure of what I was meant to do. I could have smacked myself for my inability to ease his pain. I was helpless, no change there. My hand reached up to take his, to try and reassure him that I was there, that he wasn't alone. But the memory of what had happened the last time haunted in my memory, and I quickly pulled back again. It wouldn't help him, and I knew it. So I sat back, watching as the pain clawed at his brain, as he almost silently whispered to himself that it was almost over, that everything would be alright in no time. I sniffed again, realising my tears from earlier were still blurring my vision. It then occurred to me that out of the two of us I was in the lesser amount of pain, yet I was the one crying. Why was I so weak? Why couldn't I get over my past? Kougu obviously had, but it was obvious that it wasn't without difficulty. Was he remembering again? Was that what was causing him such pain? Was it stress? Before I could say any more, he had rose again to his feet, and as I looked up I realised with utter disbelief, he had recovered. Just like that. How could that happen? I pulled myself to my feet, watching him cautiously for any sign of yet another outburst. He was unarmed, but who knows what he could do even with his bare hands? My brow wrinkled as I studied him, his casual expression, his no longer trembling body, and wondered how on earth he did it. What had just happened, that wasn't normal. Whether he wanted to act like it had never happened or not. I took a step towards him, peering at him with slight curiosity. “Are you okay?” I asked quietly, looking right into his dark, mysterious eyes.

Once he had finally pulled himself together, Kougu had no intention of letting himself fall apart again. Not yet… Not now… He kept his face determinedly expressionless, though the desire to wince was becoming so strong that resisting it was actually causing him more pain, which just seemed to worsen the entire situation considerably. He soon forgot about it as he heard Charlie’s voice beside him. For a moment he didn’t trust himself to react, and simply stood and stared straight ahead as though he hadn’t hear her. He considered ignoring her altogether and pretending that his shameful actions of a moment before had never taken place, but he eventually decided that there was no point. He was going to break down soon anyway… At least now she had been warned. Besides, after he had practically begged her to do the impossible, he could hardly deny that it had happened and expect to convince himself, let alone convince her. Eventually he came to the conclusion that denial was not an option and turned instead to his next choice: Feigned deafness, or ignoring her. He doubted he could get her to believe that he hadn’t heard her words, since he was simply too hopeless a liar for that, but he could ignore her… On the other hand, after his strange actions of a moment before, she was sure to nag him relentlessly until he responded to her if he did ignore her… Or, in the best case scenario, she would simply sit and stew, worrying about whatever was ailing him and wondering if he was about to flip out and kill her… Of course, that would make him feel terribly guilty, which in turn would cause him more pain, which probably would cause him to flip out and kill her, then feel even more guilty and flip out again… No, not a good idea. If only he wasn’t such a complicated person to manage, all this would be easier… But that was just one of the many downfalls that came with being him. Not that it didn’t have its good points, he reflected suddenly as he remembered his success from a few minutes before. He had just convinced a law-worshipping office to release a guilty criminal after all… The thought cheered Kougu up slightly, as did the knowledge that he was only a short while away from accomplishing his goal, and he suddenly found the pain a little more bearable, allowing his thoughts a little more rein than before. That was when he remembered that Charlie was still awaiting an answer from him.
He turned his head to face her, and was caught instantly in her gaze, her eyes locking on his in a way that kept him from looking away. His gaze was glue to hers, which made him want to pull away and distance himself even more, as he became more and more aware of the fact that he was powerless to do so. He felt panic rising in him as he realized how close she stood, but he bit it back, resenting the taste of bile in the back of his throat as his never-ending paranoia threatened to engulf him. Finally, he managed to shut his eyes, breaking the contact. He took a deep breath to steady himself, then hitched a tense, forced smile onto his face as he looked back at Charlie with bitter acceptance. He felt calmer now, and no longer resented the closeness, nor the intensity of her gaze. She was not his enemy, and it was not a trap. She was simply concerned for him – a prospect that ought to have made his heart sing, though instead he just felt even more pressure load onto his shoulders as he pondered the prospect of losing her, should he fail with this task. Finally, Kougu was ready to answer her question. “I am not.” He replied quietly, speaking in full honesty, with a somber expression on his face, “But they can’t know that, can they?” He asked bitterly, smiling slightly in resignation to his fate. He glanced up again; looking away from her as his suddenly calm eyes scoured the room, making sure their conversation could not be overheard. One slip up… One little hint of weakness… And it could all be over.
Kougu kept his eyes searching the room, then spoke to her softly, his lips barely moving with each quiet word. “Listen, Charlie…” He began slowly, his eyes locked in an illusion of apparent distraction on something outside the window. “I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up…” His eyes dropped away from the window and he took a few steps away from her, then stared at a potplant beside the sofa in the pretense of examining it, before going on “But I have to try.” He stated firmly, forgetting to appear casual as he turned back toward her. He started taking a step toward her, but his body seemed to freeze, refusing to get any closer to her, so he just stopped there instead, watching her with an uncharacteristically stern gaze. “Use that gun if you need to.” He ordered darkly, fixing her with an almost threatening expression. Though it was accidental, the tone of his voice had still annoyed Kougu. Charlie didn’t deserve that… What sort of scum was he to speak to her like that?! He shook his head, then suddenly his feet responded to his mental pleas and stepped swiftly over to her. He grabbed her shoulders, barely resisting the urge to shake her, and looked down at her with some twisted mix of calm composure and desperation on his pale face. “Promise me, Charlie!” He begged, his dark eyes searching her face for any hint of false promises as he waited for her answer, “Promise me you’ll use it.” He reiterated softly. His frail hands grasped her shoulders a moment longer before he became aware of this fact. When he did, he glanced down at his hands, his expression changing into something unreadable as he slowly lifted his hands and pulled them hesitantly back toward himself, raising them in submission as though to fend off any attacks she might throw at him, and retreating backwards a few steps. When he finally came to a standstill, it took him a few moments to find his voice. “I couldn’t bear to hurt you.” He admitted quietly, the wince he had held off for so long finally shooting across his face as an especially painful pang vibrated his heartstrings. Despite his best efforts to avoid it, he had drawn close to her, and she had become almost like a friend to him. The thought of losing her now… Of taking the life of the only person he had left who meant anything to him… It was far, far more than he could bear, especially in his weakened state. But that was why he needed to hold on. Just a little longer… Why he needed to fight. Just a little longer… And why he had to finish what he had started… He could not fail. Just a little longer… He cast a quick glance toward the doorway to check that nobody was coming, then looked back at Charlie. He blinked apologetically at her before the hard, seemingly plastic mask slid back over his face; hiding his thought and emotion and making him seem cold and official once more.

Happy birthday Polokins!

I waited for a few moments, gazing up at him, studying his expression for any sign of emotion, and wondered whether I was ever going to get a reply. He was refusing to look at me, and something in the way he was acting so emotionless made me want to scream at him to tell him to stop acting as if nothing was up. Why was he intending to hide it from me? Didn't he trust me? He depended on me, as he'd already proven that in the moments he had been in pain, back near the sofa. It could have been from the fact that he knew basically all there was to know about me, that was the only one that had been with him for the day and a half, or maybe even just because I was the only other one in the room. But the point was he relied on me to help him, and I would discover how... One day. He could pretend to hide it from me, but we both knew it happened, and I wasn't going to believe any different, no matter what he said... or didn't say. No, but the point was... Wait, why was I bothering? Pretending I was so important, pretending I wasn't just some girl he so happened to run into on the street when I was running from, you know, the law. I'd tried opening doors with him, but he was never really all that willing, no matter how hard I tried to squeeze something out of him. He obviously didn't want to tell me, which obviously meant he didn't trust me. We hadn't known each other long enough, which brought me to the conclusion that I had been the sucker here for being so trustworthy to a boy I hardly knew. Why had I shown him the contents of the box? Why hadn't I run home as fast as I could the minute I realised he'd tried to kill that policeman, on the street, right in front of everyone? Why had I got so upset when he'd tried to walk away from me? I cried, for goodness' sake. Over a boy I'd known for, what, four of five hours back then? Wow, I really needed to stop being so... so, emotional all the time, especially when I didn't get what I wanted. Did that mean I was a brat? Spoilt? Well, not in the way most people would think. I mean, I wasn't rich, I didn't live in a mansion, all the usual 'bratty' type stuff. I was in fact the opposite. But, no... The point was I needed to be more like Kougu. More like Kougu... I didn't say that too often. I'd need to ask him how he did it, how he kept his face so blank all the time. Just as soon as we got out of here. Which reminded me, where were we going to go after this? Kougu's house? But he'd said it was his Father's house... Wouldn't he be a bit unhappy about having an extra pair of mouths to house and feed? If he was as horrible as Kougu made him out to be, me and Mother would soon be in more trouble than we had been with the police if we weren't careful.

Just when I was on the midst of deciding he wasn't going to answer, Kougu began to speak. Right, so he wasn't okay, well at least he was finally admitting it! It had been so obvious that he hadn't been earlier on, he couldn't possibly have got over it that fast. My eyebrows shot up, mostly because of his sincere honesty, something I hadn't quite expected. Usually when you ask someone if their okay, they say 'I'm fine' and then you move on. But I was glad he had told me the truth, as even when he was wearing such an emotionless and unreadable expression, underneath all that there had to be some feelings somewhere. No matter how broken a person was, they always had their emotions, whether they could manage to hide them or not. Emotions are one of those things that makes a human a human, so unless you were abducted by aliens or whatever... Okay, forget that. But the point is, your emotions stay with you no matter what you've been through, and even behind the mask that was Kougu's face, behind it was a whole new person. The person I'd been trying to let out ever since I'd realised there was something he wasn't telling me. Something he was hiding, from me, and partly from himself. His past.”Listen, Charlie...” The use of my name caught my attention almost immediately, and I stared at him in slight surprise. How many times had he used my name? Not many, I knew that. And he only really did so when he was saying something completely serious. “I don't know how much longer I can keep this up...” That made me pause for thought. What did he mean 'keep this up'...keep what up? His 'scary boy' act? His sanity? For the record, I personally thought he'd given up on the act as soon as the policeman had left the room, and personally, I was glad. He was himself now, although I could still partly sense that something was still wrong. For the sanity, well, he was coming onto that, it seemed. “But I have to try. Use that gun if you need to” Oh, so he had meant his sanity. He was scared he was going to try and hurt me again. How many times did I have to tell him I could run? I was in a house, but the doors weren't locked, as far as I was aware. I would be out in no time. So why was he so paranoid? I was the one with the gun, unless he was intending to strangle me or something... The thought made me shudder, and I had to quickly look up at him and force myself to remember that it wasn't about to happen. Not to me. Not to him. “You won't hurt me” I muttered, sounding slightly overconfident. Well, now I'd told him what I thought, I just couldn't believe he would actually try and harm me when he'd shown me such self control, not to mention all the pain he'd gone through in the process. I took a deep breath, looking up at him with a serious expression. “Kougu, if I need to use the gun, then I will. But I can't when the police are here. If they heard a gun shot - which isn't exactly quiet, is it? - if they heard the gunshot, they would come storming with their actual guns ready, and all they'd see is me with your revolver and you lying unconscious on the floor. Then what? I couldn't exactly say 'I'm holding it for a friend' or 'he told me to shoot him' can I?” I sighed, leaning back on the wall and letting my gaze slip to the floor. I knew he was going to argue, but I just had to say it as it was. I couldn't shoot him when there were police in the house. “If needs be I'll run. I'll wait until your... sane again, then I'll come and find you. But I'm sorry, I won't shoot you when we're that lot are here. No chance” I shook my head, resting my head back on the wall. Perhaps I was being stupid, but I was just trying to think logic, even if it was a rare occasion for me. Plus, I was trying to avoid using that thing at all costs, even if it did mean risking my life. Kougu had saved me and my mother from a certain prison sentence, the least I could do was try and keep him concious. Even if he was telling me to use his weapon on himself. I would have rather not just thrown away the last ten minutes or so by being arrested for attempted murder, that wasn't really attempted murder. I knew Kougu saw it differently, but I wasn't going to change my mind. Not now. And it was all going to be worth it in the end... At least I hoped so.

”You won’t hurt me.”. The words washed over Kougu, and invoked such utter frustration in him that he was immediately unsure of how he ought to act. An incredulous laugh jumped to his lips, but he bit it back, deciding that laughing like a lunatic was probably not the best idea in his current situation. Frustration continued to boil within him, and next Kougu was visited by a slightly more sensible, if uncharacteristic, desire to shake Charlie so hard that her teeth fell out, and to keep shaking her until she saw sense. He denied that urge as well, still staring at her with an incredulous, disbelieving expression as though she had told him that she was an alien come to take over the world. Did she still not get it?! Would she ever get it? Honestly – had he not proved enough times how dangerous he could be? He knew that he was losing control, and as such he had been given the rare opportunity to warn her, yet she did not heed his warnings?! It made him want to rip his hair out or jump up and down in a fit of temper like a toddler who has been told they can’t have another sweetie, but Kougu had always been too dignified for things like that, and now was no exception. He took a deep breath to try to calm his thoughts, but he simply could not shake the feeling of incredulous frustration that gripped his mind. Would she not believe him until his hands were at her throat? Kougu suddenly closed his eyes and released a deep breath, then a frustrated groan escaped him, and he banged his head against the wall several times, not quite hard enough to make any suspicious sounds, but hopefully hard enough to alleviate his frustrations. Finally, he drew back and stared at Charlie again, his expression dull and disbelieving. “Please tell me you did not just say that.” Kougu managed finally, forcing the words out in a tone of deep incredulity. “Charlie, you can’t seriously believe that.” Kougu informed her firmly, his dark blue gaze locked intently upon her, his mysterious eyes unblinking as he stared her down. Then Charlie began stating her argument, and Kougu drew back to listen, cupping his chin thoughtfully in his long fingers as he thought over her words. ” Kougu, if I need to use the gun, then I will. But I can't when the police are here. If they heard a gunshot - which isn't exactly quiet, is it? - If they heard the gunshot, they would come storming with their actual guns ready, and all they'd see is me with your revolver and you lying unconscious on the floor. Then what? I couldn't exactly say 'I'm holding it for a friend' or 'he told me to shoot him' can I?”
That made sense… Once again, she had a very valid point. Damn, what was it with her and making these undeniable points?! She was right, unquestionably so, yet that did not help his predicament in the slightest. On the contrary, he had just lost his safety net… Kougu began to feel stress building up again, the pressure on his brain increasing as though somebody was trying to push the two sides of his skull together. He shook off the thought as Charlie went on; stubbornly ignoring the soft, mechanical clicking that tapped innocently at his mind. ” If needs be I'll run. I'll wait until you’re... sane again, then I'll come and find you. But I'm sorry, I won't shoot you when that lot are here. No chance.”
Run? Did she think she could do that? Just suddenly decide to run from him? It wouldn’t happen. He knew what he could be like, and that would be like a game of cat and mouse to him, if he ever let her get to the door alive, that is. Kougu sighed, bowing his head so his inky black hair fell down over his eyes. The silky strands were still sticking up pell-mell in every direction as they always did, making him seem almost childlike in his messy appearance, so sharply contrasting from the seriousness with which he was acting. Perhaps he was just over thinking all this. The policemen hadn’t entered the room even once… Maybe no precautions would be necessary, if he could just get Charlie and her mother, and leave now before he actually snapped. That was so simple… Questionable logic, but simple. Why he hadn’t thought of it before was beyond him… Suddenly, the situation felt much lighter to Kougu, and as he thought back over Charlie’s speech, a fond chuckle escaped his lips. “You’re mulishly stubborn, you know.” Kougu informed her, finally looking up at her and meeting her eyes with a soft expression. “But what’s even more infuriating than that is the fact that you’re actually right!” Kougu concluded with a laugh. Frustrating and naive as she could be at times, not to mention stubborn and senseless in her denial of his ability to harm her, Kougu liked Charlie. There was just something about that fiery attitude of hers that he found unquestionably endearing, despite the numerous problems it caused. Kougu smiled slightly to himself as he thought back over the time he had spent with her. It hadn’t been long, not really, but it felt as though he’d known her since the beginning of time… Perhaps in a way he had. He had been waiting and wishing for a long time for somebody to come along who would accept him for who he was, rather than try to change him, taunt him for being different, or run from him in complete and utter fear. He had smiled more with her than he could remember doing in the past 10 years or more, and for good reason… What reason had he had to smile before? None at all. That was why he was so desperate to ensure her safety now… He couldn’t stand the thought of putting her at risk. All those who were close to him always died… Always. It was not a question of ‘If’ but a question of when. Why, then, did he insist on keeping Charlie close? Should he not have pushed her away for her own safety? He had tried once… He barely remembered that now, only that she hadn’t wanted him to leave her alone. Why not? Given the choice, he would not even tolerate his own presence… He had to get away from her. He had to get out of her life completely before he hurt her, or worse. It was pure selfishness holding him back, for he had started to take comfort in the thought of having a shoulder to lean on. Not only that, but perhaps… A friend? What was friendship? What was trust? He didn’t understand any of it… All he knew was that the times spent with Charlie were the closest he’d ever come to experiencing it, except for that one time all those years ago… Kougu repressed a shudder at the memory, deciding it would be best to get out of his head before he set himself off again. “That being said…” Kougu went on, continuing what he had been saying as though he had never paused in the first place, “You must still understand how dangerous this is, and that we’ll need to compromise. I need to get out of here. I’m overdue for my medication, and until I get it I will definitely remain unstable…” He trailed off for a moment, frowning thoughtfully, then looked back to Charlie. “I told Officer Johnson to fetch your mother, but he doesn’t seem to be back yet… I can’t be waiting around like this any longer, so…” He trailed off, shrugging helplessly, then continued. “Well, you’ll either have to bring your mother and return to my father’s house until it will be safe to come back here, or you’ll have to trust that these officer’s will keep their word and leave in due time without taking you both with them… Though I admit I’d not be happy to leave you alone.” Kougu finished, dropping his gaze and finishing in a quiet mumble. “Either way, would you do me a favour and bring your mother out? I’d like to know that she’s unharmed, and besides, I suppose she would want a say in this…” He trailed off, shrugging vaguely, then winced and clapped a hand to his head as pain knifed through him. “And please hurry…” He added with a weak chuckle, dropping his hand again and offering a strained smile. He would have a lot of explaining to do after all this… He knew already that Charlie would not keep quiet after picking up on the tantalizing hints that Evans had been dropping. He would have to start deciding how much he ought to tell her…

Okay, so perhaps my choice of words were a little poor, and I may have got to him with that 'You won't hurt me' line. Well, good. It meant I was getting my point across pretty clearly, and that he was actually listening to me, as it felt like not many people were caring enough to do that for me these days. Plus, it was nice for him to finally realise and understand the truth – which was what I thought of the idea at the time. Besides, if I was fortunate enough to find the ability to think logically for once, I found it was not too difficult to find that if he had wanted to hurt me, or kill me, he would have done so a long time ago. Plus, he probably wouldn't have helped me out in the first place.
Although thinking about it in another way, it might have been something he couldn't control... Wait, what was I thinking? Of course he couldn't control it! Otherwise he wouldn't have tried to kill the policeman, or whoever he tried to attack when he'd left the house the first time round. Yes, although putting all that aside... Well, okay, maybe he was somewhat unpredictable, alright...very unpredictable. But I was still making a point here, couldn't he get it? He hadn't tried to touch me yet, he hadn't snapped right in front of me when I was the only one in the room, he hadn't attempted anything on me yet. So why was he getting so stressed? “Please tell me you did not just say that” was the next thing I heard him say, and I found myself rolling my eyes at his reaction. I'd just made a point here, the last thing I needed were comments like that. I was about to give him a daring glare and shoot back 'oh yeah, I really did' like we were two people trying to pick a fight with each other, and I'd just shot him a really offensive comment and he couldn't think of a comeback. He sure looked like it. I opened my mouth to say something, but he beat me to it once again. “Charlie, you can't seriously believe that”
Well, that's why I said it, my friend. When I say it, I mean it. But he didn't look too convinced by my statements. Wow, this was going to take some doing. My eyelids fell lazily until my eyes were only half open, and I looked at him with a slightly bored expression, although it wasn't boredom I was feeling at that moment, more like I was wondering how long it would take before he would accept that just this once, the lesser educated one was right. I didn't say that often, although now because of our two very different ways of thinking had brought two different views into the case, and now because I was thinking things in a different way to him, he was beginning to see things in a whole new way.
At least, that's what I hoped.
But he seemed to have regarded my point now, as he couldn't seem to find something to say to me in response. Ha! Point made, so there. My lips curved into a smug grin as my eyebrows shot up expectantly. Okay, so either 1) he wasn't able to think of something to say to me, which was what I hoped, because it would prove I was right all along, 2) he would come up with some really clever argument and I'd basically be stuck, because apparently my brain didn't work as fast, or as thoroughly, as his did. Or 3) He'd admit I was right, and we'd move on, or he'd continue to think of something to persuade me to shoot him one way or another, which wasn't going to be very likely, as I'd already showed him that I wasn't prepared to shoot him with the police around. ”You're mulishly stubborn, you know” Yes, that was true. My smile broadened, and I looked down shyly, feeling colour rush to my cheeks. That wasn't quite what I'd expected, but it was true, probably, if I knew what mulishly meant. Something to do with being stubborn, I presumed. ”But what’s even more infuriating than that is the fact that you’re actually right!” I shrugged, although my grin was broadening to an ear-to-ear grin. Wow, I loved being right. I should have done it more often. I had a really strong urge to give him a cocky reply, but at the fact that he was as unstable as he said he was, I decided I'd better not push it. Although...okay, I said he wouldn't hurt me, so it should have been no problem. But I decided I'd better not attempt to get him in one of his 'moods ' when the police were so close to us both, I'd had enough drama for one day. Although something told me I was about to get so much more when my mother arrived. “Well, finally someone's admitted it!” I exclaimed, perhaps a little too loud. Before I could carry on, I realised he was speaking again. ”Well, you’ll either have to bring your mother and return to my father’s house until it will be safe to come back here, or you’ll have to trust that these officer’s will keep their word and leave in due time without taking you both with them… Though I admit I’d not be happy to leave you alone” I threw my arms up dramatically. Mostly, because I was unsure of how I was supposed to react
“You see? I do think sense. I'm not just some brainless thief, although I haven't been to school since I was ten...” I trailed off, letting his final words sink in. “Wait, what? You...you'll let us stay? You'll actually..” my eyes widened. “What about your father? Will he let us stay? Will he...” I trailed off, now mentally beating myself up. Grrr! Why did I have such a big mouth? I turned away quickly, taking a step away from him. Yes, perfect timing, Charlie. Just when he was getting himself together. I let out an infuriated groan as I ran my fingers through my hair, a throbbing pain appearing inside my head I couldn't seem to erase. A headache, just what I needed at this moment in time.

”W-what's going on? What d-d'you mean 'an anonymous m-male'? W-was he with my daughter?” Catherine stuttered as she was led from the police van and onto the steps of her house. It was a good thing, too. The cells - if that's what they could be classed as, although she personally saw them as cages. Hell, she felt like a stray dog caught by Animal Control, or something – were making her feel so claustrophobic, and the fact they didn't even have a light in there didn't help. How could those criminals cope? Criminal. The word reminded her daughter, the girl that got Cathy into all this mess. Who dragged her into this mess. What was she thinking? Why hadn't she come home when she was supposed to? Then she would be able to hide her phone and then she could have run from the police. But no, she had to stay out, she had to be so secretive about who she was with. And this boy, was it another one of those hooded strangers that seemed 17 or 18 years old, but they were in fact adults in disguise, ready to knife her daughter when she wasn't looking? Of course she'd never been daring enough to bring one home, but who knows who she bumped into out there on the streets? Cathy shivered as the bitter, frigid wind hit her long skirt and blew it between he feet. She wrapped her cardigan around herself, slowly and shakily making her way up the step to the front door.
“He was an unfamiliar face to the officers, Mrs Atkinson” officer Johnson answered as he locked up the van, and turned towards the house, and Cathy noticed suspiciously that he was being careful not to meet her eye. Whether he was lying or not couldn't be said, but he was definitely uncomfortable. Why, she wasn't going to ask. As he opened the door for her and let her walk back into the house, she headed directly to the first closed door she came across and stormed in. she froze as she saw her daughter in one corner of the room, clutching her head. Well it's so be hoped she was in some pain, after the roller coaster she'd shoved mother through that day. Then there was the male a few paces or so away from her, and Cathy frowned at his appearance. He was much scruffier than even those hooded strangers out on the street, and that hair... Did he ever brush it? Cathy mentally shook herself, bringing her attention back to her daughter. The boy's hair wasn't her priority. Besides, hers probably looked twice as bad. She stood shakily by the door, although she was unsure of whether this was from the cold or because she had been crying so much earlier on. “Charlotte?”
“Mum?” She didn't sound too pleased to see her, after all she'd put her through. Well, too bad. Cathy wasn't too pleased to see her either. She was more bothered about what had been happening whilst she had been left alone in the dark for so long. Her daughter looked her up and down, her eyes becoming slightly glassy. What on earth was she crying about? She hadn't been the one who was harassed by police officers, in her own home, then thrown in a cage in the back of a police van for forty five minutes. Out of the two, Cathy was the one in the most pain. Charlie rushed from behind the sofa and began towards her, her arms outstretched. Before Cathy could realise what was going on, Charlie had her arms wrapped around her body, and she was shaking. Before she could think about her actions, Cathy quickly unlinked her arms from around her body and pushed her daughter away, who now seemed somewhat shaken by her mothers actions. Cathy didn't want hugs, she wanted to know what had been happening whilst she hadn't been in the house. “Charlotte Hope Atkinson, are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?” she demanded, her voice suddenly shaking with emotion. For goodness' sake, the tears were coming. Again.

((Finished! Wooop! ))



"Of course I'll let you stay!" Kougu exclaimed, his eyebrows rising in surprise, "Do you really think I'd just leave you helpless after all this?" Kougu shook his head, chuckling softly. "It seems I've been misjudged again." He concluded, though the kind smile on his face when he glanced over at Charlie showed that he was not really upset. On the contrary, he was glad that she had accepted his offer, if what she'd said could be considered acceptance... Which he thought, and hoped, it could. "As for my father..." Kougu went on, struggling to get the word 'father' past his lips. He hadn't called the man 'father' in years. It was always 'that man' or his name if absolutely necessary, but as Charlie would understand neither, he would have to make a compromise. "My father no longer lives in that house, and I doubt he'd dare show his face there. I highly, highly doubt that." Kougu concluded in a slightly dark, firm voice; doing his best to hide all emotion from his tone, though not succeeding completely. The smouldering hatred had roots too deep to be pulled out... Even if he managed, they'd probably wrap around him like a boa constrictor and suffocate his soul. He didn't plan on losing what few parts of himself he still had left... It was as he'd said to Charlie: People didn't change. He had not changed. He had been shaped into a different person entirely... Yet now? Now he was slowly starting to make his way back to how he might have been if everything had been different, and if life had treated him just a tad kinder. Charlie had given him something worth fighting for again, and she had managed to smack some sense into him with her words. He had needed it. He supposed he should thank her some time... He was about to do just that, when he heard a shaky voice calling from the door. "Charlotte?" Kougu looked up to see the woman who was presumably Charlie's mother. He examined her with a hawk-like gaze, committing her features to memory so that he might recognise her in future. As he noticed her frown, and obvious disgust at his scruffy appearance, Kougu looked away, his dark blue gaze dropping to the floor. He didn't like being judged, especially not on his appearance. He never put in the effort to look good because, well, what was the point? Still, it was to be hoped that she'd not judge a book by its cover, though even if she did, he supposed he didn't mind, really... Sighing his thoughts away, Kougu glanced up again to see Charlie walk up to the woman and wrap her in a hug. For a moment Kougu felt a stabbing of envy so fierce that he could not completely hide it in his expression. What he would give to go back in time, undo it all, and hug his mother one last time... Just to see her once again and tell her how sorry he was... How he hadn't meant to do it... She had cared. She had always cared. He could still remember the feeling of her warm embrace; how he had felt safe and secure in her arms, and how he had been able to be himself, gradually developing his own personality under her watchful eye until he could not become the perfect, unquestioning tool his father had hoped for. Well, what a disappointment of a son he was, and he was damn proud of it!
Biting his lip to keep from releasing his emotion, Kougu turned his attention back to Charlie and her mother. The woman seemed to have stiffened in the hug, and then she was pushing Charlie away. Kougu felt a flash of protective rage on his friend's behalf- Wait... Friend? No... Acquaintance? No... Well, whatever she was, she was precious to him. He clenched his jaw to keep from making some remark, but he felt a dozen or more leap to his tongue, which was rare for him, as he did not really speak that often... Though lately he actually started getting out of that habit; rather a lot, in fact. Still, he thought Charlie's mother might be a little more grateful after all her daughter had done for her... Charlie may have made a mistake in stealing that gem, but one could not deny that it was an impressive feat all the same, not to mention a major sacrifice on her own part for her mother’s behalf. It wasn’t easy to forfeit one’s innocence. Kougu knew that as well as any… Yet Charlie had chosen that painful path as a means to an end, and quite frankly, far from being disgusted by her actions, he was deeply impressed by her courage in attempting something so daring and potentially dangerous. Yes, she had risked a lot all right, and she had almost lost it, too. After all that, Kougu thought her mother could have been a little more gracious. He was actually rather offended himself by her antics. But still, it was not his place to stick his head in, and besides, if he waited around while they had a blazing row, a fit of tears or whatever else might be coming next, he would probably snap and lose it completely, most likely winding up killing both of them.
It was this thought more than any that finally encouraged him to interject. He took a few steps nearer, instantly re-establishing his cold formality and official attitude as he approached the woman, temporarily paying no attention to Charlie, mostly because he figured she might want some time and space to regain her composure. He knew he would have done… But then again, he was different. Very different. “We shall explain everything in due time.” Kougu said to the woman in a soothing voice, his methods seeming as though they were being regurgitated directly out of a textbook on human psychology. “I’d like to request that Charlie and yourself accompany me to my house for the time being. I can gladly accommodate you for a while, and I feel it would be most unwise to test these kind officers’ patience after they have so graciously agreed to let you both go free. I suggest that we make haste, as from what I know about the police force, they tend to be notorious for changing their minds at the last minute, and I have exhausted all my points of negotiation on this particular topic, so I feel that is a situation we’d most likely do well to avoid.” He explained, his voice calm and almost kind as he encouraged her not to make his predicament any worse than it already was. He didn’t know her, and he didn’t know if he could trust her, so he kept a fair distance away and did his utmost best to hide his anxiety, as well as the many other thoughts and emotions troubling him at that time. The pain in his head had escalated to the point that he could no longer make use of his thoughts in a comprehensible manner, and it was all he could do to keep from throwing up or passing out where he stood. His head throbbed as through it had been filled with lead golf balls and somebody was shaking it vigorously and relentlessly. It was a familiar pain, and he had learned to deal with it, but that did not make it any less intense or more tolerable. He clenched his teeth to keep from wincing, hoping that Charlie would not forget his earlier outburst, and hoping that she’d hurry herself and her mother along because of it. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could handle the pain… Kougu’s dark eyes slid out of focus as he absentmindedly attempted to escape the pain – hiding in his own thoughts as he had done so often before.

A young Kougu raised his shaggy head to look up nervously as he heard a knock at his door. He was sitting cross-legged on his bed – a massive pile of huge leather-bound volumes packed to the brim with complex information sitting before him. A confusing mass or formulae swam around in his head, and he hoped desperately that his father had not come to test him again. He knew he wasn’t ready yet, and the prospect of seeing the cold disappointment in his father’s eyes was just too much to bear. Much to his relief, when the door opened it was his mother who walked in, not his father. “What are you reading all these boring books for, Kougu?” She asked, wrinkling her nose in teasing disgust as she walked over and knelt on the floor beside him. “You don’t have to learn how to do everything, you know!” He added with a chuckle, ruffling his hair fondly. Kougu smiled shyly at her. “But Father wants-“ He began to mumbled in a soft, barely coherent voice. “You hush about what your father wants!” His mother exclaimed in a sharp tone, wrapping the fluffy bundle in a fierce embrace before dragging him away his pile of books and sitting him on her lap. He grinned up at her, showing a flawless set of white milk teeth, none of which had even begun to loosen yet. “Your father and I only want what’s best for you, love.” His mother assured him, grabbing his nose with a kind, playful smile. “And that is for you to be yourself. I know Daddy doesn’t act it, but he wants it too.” With that, his mother gave him a final hug before slipping a small chocolate bar into his hand. She tapped a finger to her lips secretively, then winked and left the room.
Brimming with happiness, Kougu pushed the pile of books aside and nibbled contentedly on the chocolate, almost ready to explode with pride over what his mother had said. His father wanted him to be himself… He accepted him. He appreciated him. He was not worthless after all… Soon, tears of happiness were leaking from his eyes, and Kougu wiped his tiny face on his sleeve, giggling giddily at his own silliness.

Kougu resurfaced from his thoughts with a subdued sigh, unable to hold back a wince as the pain that had become a dull pounding now returned in full measure, making him certain that somebody had set off an atom bomb inside his head. He missed his mother, and though he hated himself for it, he felt undeniably jealous of Charlie that she could be standing here with her’s right now… What he wouldn’t give to do that again. If he could only let her know how sorry he was… How much he appreciated everything she’d done for him… But it was just too late. She was never coming back, and it was all because of him.
Pain knifed through his head again.
He needed to get back. Back to the house. Back now.

There were many things I might have been expecting at the idea of finally seeing my mother again after so long... okay, a day and a half-ish, plus all we'd both been through with the whole Benitoite thing. She may have not been too happy with me not arriving home, and her being caught. But the way she'd acted, just then, was the way I was least expecting. After all we'd both been through, how could she just push me away like that? I guess I should have expected it, seen as she had always pushed me away, ever since the accident. It was funny, the more even attempted to get close to her, she would always push me away, and every day the two of us drifted apart more and more as the years wore on. I don't think she realised how much it hurt, and how much I'd suffered since the accident perhaps a little more than she had. But because she'd had such severe depression she, apparently, had an excuse, and it meant that whether she was on a high, or a low, she would somehow always blame everything on me. And I let her. What else could I do? I had to chose my words carefully because of how delicate she had become, in fear that I could lose her just because of saying one word...just one word out of line. I guess I should have been good at it when talking to Kougu, but the break from my criminal life seemed to make the words run from my mouth, like water, and I could never seem to stop the thoughts from dribbling out too, no matter how much I might regret it later.

I was still gawking at her in shock, tears blurring my vision, although it still wasn't hard to make out her disgusted, sour expression at my affection towards her. I was so relieved that they hadn't done anything to her, that she was even conscious , and that was the hello I get? Was she even happy to see me? My eyes flickered over her once more, when to my disappointment I realised. Of course she wasn't. There was nothing in her expression, her body language, her words that were even along the lines of relief, or love, or happiness. Just anger, frustration and pure ignorance. She didn't give a hoot about me, what I'd been through. No, she just wanted to know what was going to happen to her. Fury burned inside me, and I was almost certain it was going to cause me yet more tears. “We will explain everything in due time” Kougu surprised me once again by speaking. “I’d like to request that Charlie and yourself accompany me to my house for the time being. I can gladly accommodate you for a while, and I feel it would be most unwise to test these kind officers’ patience after they have so graciously agreed to let you both go free. I suggest that we make haste, as from what I know about the police force, they tend to be notorious for changing their minds at the last minute, and I have exhausted all my points of negotiation on this particular topic, so I feel that is a situation we’d most likely do well to avoid” I gave him a thankful glance, watching as he stalled just for the sake of my recovery. Was it so obvious how shaken up I had become? Obviously so, although now I was in no mood to hide my emotions. My mother had just shoved me away as soon as I'd got close to her, and after everything we'd both been through... I really needed some time to recover, and thanks to Kougu, who was probably going through his own painful phase at that time, was ready to stop just so I could have some time to myself.
God, I couldn't help but love him sometimes.

Cathy listened to the boy intently, her eyes narrowed slightly with a spark of suspicion, trying to sense even so much as a hint of acting, or trying her on. So far there was no such luck, and his voice seemed to be abnormally polite, something she certainly wasn't used to. No one was ever polite to her nowadays, because no one even so much as spoke to her. That is, unless they were police. And even at their best the Police were never very respectful of her, ever since her daughter had been caught at the museum and got that hideous burn on her leg. Well, it had been her own fault. If she'd thought about it before just storming in like that, if she'd been logic in the first place and thought 'Oh, maybe something worth this much money just might have something other than a big glass box to protect itself in', the alarm wouldn't have gone off, she may have been able to walk away with something worth selling, and she wouldn't have been burnt with a laser alarm, would she? Well, at least she'd finally learned to use her little uneducated head before breaking into museums and stealing precious items without regarding the possibilities of capture, and invisible alarms. And now she had a nice big tennis-ball-size scar on her leg to remind her of that night, the night they could have been rich. Yet now, once they'd finally managed to meet since Charlie supposedly succeeded in taking the Benitoite gem, where was it? Why hadn't she been able to bring it? Had she lost it? Cathy's lips pursed at the thought, and she waited for the boy to finish speaking before she turned to her daughter, her eyebrows raised expectantly. So, she'd heard what the boy had to say, whoever he was, now it was Charlie's turn. Finally, for once, she would speak to her without having that pathetic tone on her voice. She had nothing to cry about, as she'd only had to stay away from the police for a tiny amount of time until she got home, then she shouldn't have had to worry. But no, she had to go, didn't she? She had to run away from even her own mother, and leave her to be faced with the consequences. What sort of daughter would do that?


I swallowed, wincing as the throbbing pain from previously came rushing back, and the thumping in my head began beating at my temples. My hand reached up to clutch my head, as I let my eyes shut for a moment, trying to let the pain pass. I was aware at the fact that we had to hurry, as I knew fair well I wasn't the only one in pain there. Exhaling, I opened my eyes again, to notice mum looking at me expectantly. What did she want now? I sighed, my eyes scrunching closed for a moment until I had the power to open them again without the pain haunting my brain once again. I attempted to ignore my mother's glares, but she obviously wanted something from me, even if I wasn't in the mood to be questioned at that point. Apparently, I had no choice.
“Yes?” I demanded, not bothering to hide the irritation out of my voice.
Mum rolled her eyes, still keeping her distance, I noticed. “Don't give me that, Charlotte. Why didn't you come home?”
I stared at her in disbelief, my face suddenly blank. Had she listened to a word Kougu had just said? Me coming home had nothing to do with what had been going on. And what was with the sudden 'Charlotte' business? She'd never called me Charlotte before, really, unless she was actually screaming her head off me. Well, I'd had my warning.
“Well?”
“Mum, can't we save this till later? Kougu really needs to get home...”
“Oh please. You trust this boy?”
“Yes!” I rolled my eyes, letting out a frustrated sigh. She was talking as if he wasn't in the room, and in a way which was making me feel strangely protective. Did she realise he could hear every stinkin' word she was saying? He was only stood at the other side of the room - which was, what, a few feet away? - and he wasn't stupid. I turned to Kougu, watching his completely neutral expression for any sign of emotion, any urge that he needed to go home. Anyone who'd just met him would say he didn't feel anything at all. But behind those mysteriously dark blue eyes hidden behind his black, mop-like hair, I saw something, a flicker of pain behind his blank expression, and I realised we had to be quick. Before someone was hurt. “Listen, I know you want to yell at me, but now is a really bad time. It's difficult to explain, but we have to get out of here. Now.”
That's right, mum. Save your hate-ridden words until I've stopped us all from almost certain death. Your insults can wait. But now, I have a friend in pain here who needs to get back home before he looses himself...like you did those six years ago back in that hospital, remember?
Oh, you have no idea how much I wished I had the guts to say those things to her, tell her how she was no longer my number one priority, how I couldn't wait on her every two minutes any more. Why? Because I had a friend. Someone who I could care for, and who could care for me. But the problem was, I couldn't. I just...couldn't. If she was to snap right then, right in front of Kougu, it wouldn't belong before I had two mad people in the same room, and I would be left on my own to try and snap them both back out of it. And on my own, I'd have no chance. I opened the door for mum to leave the room, before slowly heading back towards Kougu, my gaze dropped just below his face. I'd lost the energy to look into anyone's eyes anymore. “Thanks for trying” I mumbled, shooting him a tiny smile. Well, he'd tried to win her over, failed, and I don't even think she'd taken in a word of it. Which was a waste, if you ask me. She didn't really see past a person's looks any more, unless she knew them really well. Although even I had had some disgusted glances from her in the past, like she could hardly believe I was in any relation to her at all. Hello, I'm your daughter! I sighed, colour rushing to my pale cheeks. Honestly, I felt aweful for what mum had just done. I simple could not believe she'd been so heartless. How could she just sit there and judge him like that after he'd been so nice to her? At least he wasn't some thug off the streets. “I...I'm really sorry, for her sake. She didn't mean any of it. She's just...” I trailed off, struggling to find words to suit. What was I meant to say? She was just...ignorant? Selfish? Deaf? It didn't take me too long to realise I simply wouldn't find anything that would make either of us feel better, so I left the sentence lingering in the air. Nothing would make me forgive her for how much she'd judged him just then. After how he'd saved us from prison just like that, did she even realise how much bother he could have got into? Now there was a question... He'd definitely have to explain that one to me later on, once we were alone. He was going to have a hell of a lot of explaining to do.

Kougu glanced up as he heard his name, his dark eyes darting toward the conversation almost without his consent. "Kougu really needs to get home..." Charlie. Bless her... Would she never tire of looking out for him? Even now when the pressure was on her shoulders, when she was the one suffering, and when she was in a horribly difficult predicament - not to mention being pushed away by the one person who could share her burden - yet still, she thought of him? Of course, he reminded himself, all their lives did, in a way, depend on his mental wellbeing, but all the same, he could not help but feel touched by her efforts. He might have said that he could barely remember the last time somebody had done something so nice for him, scratch that - the last time somebody had cared about him at all... But he could not say that, not even to himself, for it was not the truth. He remembered only too well those people in his life who had been able to see, not what he was, but what he had the potential to be. The truth was that he did not want to remember. That he wished he didn't have to... For those people, all of them, were gone. They had gone where he could never follow - not even if he climbed the highest mountain or swam the deepest sea. Although, cliché as it may have been, Kougu felt he'd have done those things if just for a chance to see them once more. If only it was possible... But wait - he'd found one more person who cared now. One worth changing for. And (XD) she was fighting for him right now. His dark blue gaze darted upwards and his attention returned to the conversation. Though he felt vile for eavesdropping, now that he had been mentioned he was struggling to keep out of it. Charlie's mother seemed to be scoffing now. "Oh please. You trust this boy?" Ah, so she didn't trust him. Good. She shouldn't, anyway... At least that meant he wouldn't have to explain that to her. She could wallow in her mistrust of her own accord, completely unhelped by him. Still, despite the logic, he could not help but feel a slight flicker of annoyance. After he had showed her such respect, she was scraping the bottom of the barrel in disrespect. Speaking about him as if he was not there... How many times had he heard that man do that? And even then it had never been 'my son' or even 'Kougu'. No. It was always 'my tool' or 'my Kougu' or 'the asset'. He had never been a human in that man's mind... Despite what his mother had said. He had been a tool in his father's eyes since before he was born, hence he had been treated thus. But wait, what was he thinking? This wasn't about him, or his relationship with that man... This was about Charlie’s mother. He could not deny it, her words were cruel, though thankfully they did not prove to be mortally wounding for him, having suffered so much worse in the past. That being said, he could not help but think what he could have said to her then… The facts that might have set her straight after she had so ignorantly judged him based off one little glimpse at his outside shell. Yes, there were many things that he wanted to say… Don’t trust me? Sure. Good for you – but to what end? What reason is your mistrust based upon? Charlie – your daughter – now she has reason to mistrust me, but she does not. Quite the opposite, so it seems. You think I’m pathetic? Not worth your respect? Sure, maybe I’m not perfect, maybe I don’t turn myself out well, but I might have taken the effort to run a comb through my hair if I hadn’t been so busy negotiating for your life, your freedom. Is it fair, then, to judge me on shortcomings partially invoked by my efforts on your behalf. I think not. Trust? Hmph. Who cares about trust? Who cares about approval? I don’t need either of those things from you – nor do I deserve them. What I do, however, expect are respect and co-operation. Too much to ask? Not by a long shot. So shut your ungrateful trap, give your daughter a hug and comply with my wishes – out of gratitude alone if nothing else. That much even YOU cannot deny I deserve. Of course, saying such things would be decidedly trivial. Not only would they upset the woman, but they might upset Charlie as well, and Kougu wouldn’t risk losing her friendship, if that was indeed what it was. Besides that, not good would come of it. Sure, maybe it was the truth, but he’d only feel worse afterwards – as would everyone else. Plus, Charlie’s mother would definitely never co-operate with him after a vicious outburst like that. Well, that settled it, then. Silence was golden, and he would hold his.

"Yes!" Came a sudden retort, pulling Kougu's attention back to the conversation that he was certain had now become a mild argument. Charlie again... So she still trusted him, the fool? Only this time he did not feel the usual cold dread spreading through him, but rather a warm tingling of gratitude and happy appreciation. Oh hell, not more things he couldn't understand... If only he had been able to study emotions when he was younger instead of the various semi-useless things his father had wanted him to know... Then again, useless as they seemed to him, they were useful for his purpose: His father's goal. Kougu's dark eyes slowly ascended to the conversation yet again, only to find Charlie throwing a glance in his direction. Oh, great... Did she know he'd been listening? Well, it was hard not to... But would she be angry? He wasn't sure, he didn't know what to expect... Great. MORE that he didn't understand! "Listen, I know you want to yell at me, but now is a really bad time. It's difficult to explain, but we have to get out of here. Now.” Charlie's voice broke through his thoughts, and Kougu glanced at her with deep, sincere gratitude underlying the emotionless mask he had pulled across his face. Once again she was looking out for him. Explaining on his behalf... Affection for his friend flared up in Kougu, and once again the emotion confused him. He dropped his gaze, and soon found his attention drifting as he tried to puzzle out the tangled, sticky web of emotions that entangled him – paralyzing his mind. When he glanced up again, he started slightly as he saw a figure standing close beside him, but once his mind had registered Charlie’s familiar face, he was able to calm himself, albeit with a particularly painful throb from his splitting skull. “Charlie…” He murmured softly, though the single word was not meant for mortal ears, and was soon lost in the silence as Charlie began to speak.
Wait, now she was apologizing on her mother’s behalf? “Charlie…” Kougu interjected, a soft, humorless chuckle escaping his lips as he shook his head slowly in fond incredulity. “Charlie, it’s all right. It’s fine.” He assured her gently, flashing her a soft smile. “You can’t please everyone, you know. Think about yourself for once.” He advised quietly, raising a hand to place it on her shoulder, then shuddering slightly and pulling back again, slightly disturbed by the strange impulse that he had almost reacted to. He took a moment to gather his bearings, then went on. “Honestly, I’ve experienced worse.” He admitted with a chuckle, “You know as well as any that I don’t give a good first impression. Or second for that matter… Or any sort of good impression at all…” He trailed off, scratching his head awkwardly. “Look, it doesn’t matter. Really. She’s shaken, upset… It’s amazing what a cruel shock can do to a person. Just give her some time, I suppose… That is – once we’re back at my place, of course. I hate to be selfish, but honestly, I need to get back before I do something I’ll regret.” He informed her seriously, his dark blue eyes locking on her in an earnest gaze. “Come on.” He muttered softly, flashing her a kind smile before heading toward the open door. He paused as he passed beside her, his mysterious eyes fixed on the ground and his hair falling down to hide them. “I’ll explain everything when we get back…” He murmured softly, “I promise-“ He added in a quiet whisper, raising his head again and stepping out away from her as though nothing had been said. His long legs carried him swiftly over the ground, and soon he was in the doorway, looking back over the room, waiting expectantly for his posse to gather and get moving.

I could have almost burst into tears at that moment, but I knew it would do no good for any of us if I had. As much as an excuse as I had, after still being partly in shock from being pushed away by my own mother, I knew it would be a complete waste of time. First of all, the one person that I could actually hug hadn't shown me a speck of love since we'd got here, and the person that was even a little bit nice to me, would probably kill me before I had the chance to benefit from any physical contact I gave him. Besides, wasn't stupid. I'd learned now many a time that he wouldn't like it, and even that was an understatement. Especially as he was as unstable as he was right now. No, I would have to pull myself together, at least until we'd got out the house. That is, if I didn't die first.
So I took a deep breath, clenching my jaw to fight back the growing urge to let the lump in my throat take over and leave the tears to stream down my hot cheeks. I'd survived this long without breaking down... But my sheer exhaustion was making it suddenly difficult to fight that strong urge, and the throbbing in my head was becoming much worse. I needed sleep, and soon. My eyes dragged up to Kougu, who was looking rather calm to say the pain he must have been going through. If it was anything like how he'd acted with me when we'd been alone – that is, before my mother had stormed in with her demanding tone, her sour, tear-stained expression and darting, mad eyes and ruined everything – then he was going through something much worse than anything I was experiencing at the time, no matter how I looked at it. How he even managed to keep it all to himself was a complete mystery. What, did he practice hiding his emotions? Because it was sure not one of those things that people were born with... Unless there was some Non-Showing Emotion Disorder Syndrome I didn't know about... Nah, I was uneducated, but it didn't mean I was stupid. Either he'd practised it, or he'd had such a shocking social life he didn't know how to react to people anymore. Whichever it was, I couldn't help but feel sorry for him, even in the situation I was in. Bless him... He was too nice to have to go through all that, and I didn't say that often. I noticed his mouth open slightly, and before I could say anything else, he began to speak. “Charlie, it's all right, it's fine” My head shook automatically, and I quickly found my gaze dropping away from him to the window beside me, overlooking most of the street, a medium-sized police van, and the road where we had come from. Seeing it now, I realised it hadn't actually been that far, but our conversation and the rain had evidently slowed us both down a bit, whether that had been incidental or not. My head shook a few times more, and I noticed my lip was beginning to tremble. Oh great, not again... honestly, I'd have preferred it if he was angry at me, and had yelled at me like my mother had just then. I could deal with angry, but I couldn't deal with his constant kindness all the time. “You can't please everyone, you know. Think about yourself for once” I blinked a few times once again, keeping my gaze off him for a moment longer. I didn't want this, I wanted him to tell me to straighten up and get over it because it was all over now. I wanted him to tell me I'd tried an failed to get my mother to like me and that I was wasting my time if I thought it was going to happen any time soon. I know he was trying to make me feel better, but it wasn't working. All it was doing was making me feel worse about the way my mother had treated him as she'd entered the room. Kougu didn't deserve that, any of it. How could he talk to me as if none of it even mattered? I bit my lip firmly, forcing it to stop trembling so I could at least attempt to pull myself together. “You know as well as any that I don’t give a good first impression. Or second for that matter… Or any sort of good impression at all… Despite myself, I felt my body relaxing slightly at his little awkward moment, and just for a moment, I felt my lips twitch a smile. Once again he was making me feel better, without really attempting to, and tripping over himself in the process. It sounds kind of weird, but I found it rather sweet. Although what was kind of confusing was that when he tried to make me feel better, no matter how hard he tried, he usually failed. But when he was talking to himself, or 'thinking out loud' as I saw it as, he always seemed to make me want to smile, even in the position I was in. I regarded his words with a thoughtful cock of the head and nodded, remembering the first time I'd met Kougu back on the street. The look I'd given him as soon as he'd got hold of my arm wasn't exactly pleasant, but who was I to judge? He saved me, and my mother from prison even after he knew we were both guilty! Who else in the world would do that?

“Look, it doesn’t matter. Really. She’s shaken, upset… It’s amazing what a cruel shock can do to a person. Just give her some time, I suppose… That is – once we’re back at my place, of course.” I pressed my lips together, shaking my head slowly at his comment at my mother. She hadn't changed in six years, even after what we'd both been through, even after all that, I doubted she'd ever change. Could he just stop making excuses for her? I'd lost faith in her a long time ago, I watched it be crushed, right under my nose. I just didn't want that to happen to him. Before I could disagree, to tell him it was no use pretending it was just the shock that was making her like this, that she simply hated me and there was nothing he could do to change my mind, he began walking towards the door. I followed him closely behind until he stopped, then lingered quietly by the doorway. I wasn't going to leave without putting him straight, so I gestured for mother to go out first. She walked through the door quietly, stopping in the hallway and waiting impatiently for someone to lead. Yeah, she'd never really been one to lead, even before the accident. She acted confident, but she always needed someone, like dad to follow. I guess that was one of the only things about her that hadn't changed. I turned back to Kougu, keeping my voice hushed. Well, at least I actually knew she was within listening distance, and was doing something about it, instead of talking loudly as if she hadn't been there at all. “It's not okay though, is it?” I muttered, looking him right in the eye. “After everything you've done for us, what you've saved us from...” I shook my head in disgust. “I'm surprised you didn't walk out and leave us. I would have, if it had been me. But the point is, I'm grateful. And she won't show it, but she is too.” I sighed, letting my gaze drop away from him again, mostly because I couldn't stand seeing his understanding face when I was feeling this bad. What he'd done back there, with the police... No one could ever change the Officer's minds, yet he'd managed it in just a few minutes. He'd performed a miracle, yet so far he hadn't got as much as a smile from one of the people it benefited the most. Which was the exact reason why I refused to leave the house without showing him how much I cared, and show his extra credit on my mother's behalf, especially for the way she'd treated him. I knew he was feeling forgiving now, but I most certainly wasn't. Far from it, in fact.
“Oy, madame. Are you done yet? I'd rather like get to wherever we're going before the day is out, thanks”
A voice disrupted my thoughts, and I didn't need to look to know who it was. My expression tensed, and I quickly clenched my jaw before I shot back something I'd soon regret. This wasn't the time to start an argument, we needed to get out of the house, into the fresh air, and quickly. Poor Kougu was already on the merge of breaking down, and I could guess what would happen next. No. there was a time and a place, and this, here, was neither. Well, thinking about it, at least she said thanks... My head rolled back to Kougu, and I raised my eyebrows. “Still think she can change?” I whispered, my expression reading almost as much as my words did, if not more. He could believe all he wanted, but I knew her. I knew who'd she'd become in the past six years and I knew she'd never change. Not now, not ever. I'd learned a lot about prayers back when I was younger, and the one thing that stuck in my head, was that no matter how much you wanted it to happen, no matter how many tears you shed for it to happen, it just wouldn't. Some people get their prayers answered just like that. But me? Never. Not in a million years.

"It's okay to me." Kougu replied, his words simple yet somewhat cryptic. "And really, I haven't done anything for you. In fact, though I feel rather guilty to admit it, I only ever do things for myself. If you think about it, everything I've done here is purely selfish: I helped you. Why? For the sake of my own curiosity. I negotiated with the police. Why? To save myself the guilt and suffering of watching my only frie- I mean, watching you go to prison." He broke off, glancing away. His dark gaze lingered on the floor as confusion paralysed his mind, and set his thoughts in motion all at once. Why had he nearly said that...? Why, when he wasn't even sure it was true? He didn't know... He wasn't sure... He didn't understand... So why had he said it...? Kougu felt heat creeping into his face, and for a moment everything else was forgotten as he stewed in his horribly tricky predicament.
Kougu gnawed his lower lip, his sleek black hair falling down over his face to hide the expression that he was struggling to hide himself as a million or more thoughts coursed through his mind. Would Charlie be angry about his near slip of tongue? Would she even work out what he had almost said? If so - how would she feel about it? Afraid because somebody as dangerous as himself had come to care for her? Angry because she didn't feel the same way? Or perhaps just nothing... Perhaps she'd just accept it, or let it slide, but then again - since when had his luck been that good? If, indeed, it was fair to blame anything on luck in that cruel world.
Suddenly aware that he was simply prolonging his own awkward silence, Kougu cleared his throat and forced himself to look up at Charlie, then continued as if nothing had happened. "I-I wouldn't leave you... Either of you. You've both been good to me, in a way, so I definitely owe you this much..." He trailed off, gulping nervously, then concluded his speech, "Anyway, I'm glad you appreciate my efforts, though you need not waste any thanks on me. I would most likely fail to comprehend, in any case." With that, he flashed Charlie a slightly timid smile, then jumped in surprise as her mother's words rang out an startled him - spurring him into action. Kougu turned away and walked toward the door. He passed Charlie's mother in the passageway, flashing her a good-natured smile as he passed, then he progressed toward the doorway. The peeling floral wallpaper brushed against the long sleeves of his hoodie as he passed, for as usual Kougu's co-ordination was slightly off, along with his balance, and most other aspects that made him the clutz he was. His senses, it seemed, were dulled by the pain that niggled at his brain, scratching at the inside of his skull like a caged beast longing to escape. The longer he refused to grant it liberty, the more frantic the scrabbling became, until Kougu began to zone out slightly - barely aware of his surroundings, just like so many times before... "We should be off now." He stated softly, pushing open the door and stepping outside. "I shall return the gem to these officers shortly. They should know better than to distrust me. Assuming that will satisfy them, the situation ought to be resolved." He explained in the same soft, slightly dreamy tone. "As for you..." He went on, turning to face Charlie and her mother whose name he still did not know, "You are welcome to make yourselves at home in my father's house until such time as you wish to return to your own." He informed them simply, smiling vaguely before turning away again and walking out through the door. The sun was climbing higher in the sky now, and the heat that came with it did nothing to alleviate Kougu's crippling pain. He winced slightly, and stumbled going down the few stairs that lead away from the house. He caught himself as he reached the bottom, taking a moment to regain his balance and wait for the dizziness to pass. Once he was confident that his feet would hold him, Kougu walked out into the street, then paused, gesturing for his posse to follow. The gentle breeze toyed with his dark hair, tossing it around with the playful innocence of a child playing with a shiny new toy. Kougu tossed it out of his face, then turned and stared down the street in the direction of the house he had been forced to call home. Though in reality, it was not home any more... 'Home' was with his mother - in Heaven - a place he could never, ever gain access to. He dared not doubt its existence, for the consequences of its nonexistence would be simply too terrible to comprehend. That all those people who were dead because of him were just... Gone. No, it wasn't possible, he refused to even consider it. Their spirits were in Heaven, whatever and wherever that was, and they were happy and content in their eternal bliss, while he suffered the appropriate punishment in his own personal Hell-on-earth. Sighing away his thoughts, Kougu shook his scruffy head, then gestured in the direction he ought to be travelling and beckoned to Charlie and her mother to follow. With that, he set off down the street, trying desperately to lose himself in a daydream and trusting his feet to show him the way, as they had failed to do so many times before. Thankfully, this time he also had the option of having Charlie there to correct him should he take a wrong turn.

Oblivious to his surroundings and to all reality, Kougu drifted mindlessly down the streets and alleyways in a haze of pain. Whether or not his company was still following him he hadn't a clue, but he felt it would be easiest, and safest, to assume that they were. Kougu lost track of how long he had been walking or how many steps his feet had taken independently of his mind. His thoughts were locked deep within dreamland, letting his tortured soul find solitude in a world of fiction and fantasy where cruelty and violence were mere myths and peace and contentment reigned without opposition. It was a world in which he did not exist, yet one in which he found himself living alarmingly often, in a mind independent of constricting body, aching brain or broken heart. The memories could not reach this place... He had locked them out, just as he had locked all reality out - including himself. He could lose himself in this place, and so often he had nearly lost the willpower to pull himself away. So often he had faced the temptation just to lose himself within the peace and comfort for the rest of eternity - never questioning, never suffering and never facing the consequences to all the terrible, terrible things he had done. Thankfully, Kougu had chosen not to let himself become a mindless vegetable, as such an act would be only a hair's breadth short of suicide, and he had sworn to himself that he would either accomplish his goal whilst alive, else breathe his final breath attempting to get to it. He had been placed in this cruel world now and he had faced his harsh life head-on: If he had got this far, he figured it was safe to say that he could no longer just 'pull out' without regret. He was in too deep, and as such he would be forced to press forward.

Kougu was suddenly startled out of his thoughts by a loud 'BANG', accompanied by a sharp pain shooting through his head. This pain multiplied tenfold as Kougu was jerked back to consciousness, and he stumbled backward away from the door and landed hard on his rear on the doorstep, staring up in vague confusion at the innocent, unmoving object that had clearly just launched a violent attack at him. Shrugging it off, Kougu rubbed his sore head and got to his feet. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a hair pin which, unlike his keys, just never seemed to go missing. He picked the lock without fuss, not even bothering to check for his keys which, incidentally, were sticking out of his other pocket, then stepped into the house. He pointedly ignored the heavily locked and chained door on his right, glancing instead to the familiar spines of the heavy, leather-bound volumes inhabiting the bookshelf to his left. After scanning them briefly with his dark blue eyes, he picked out in gold script the words 'Hansel and Gretel'. For some reason, this book jolted his memory and he suddenly remembered that he had been supposed to lead Charlie and her mother here. Suddenly panicked, he wheeled around and searched the surrounding area desperately for them, his eyes momentarily blinded by the sun. "Charlie?!" He called uncertainly, a faint sense of urgency in his tone. Was she there? Her and her mother both? He hadn't lost them, had he? He wasn't sue he could deal with it if he had...

((FINISHED!!! ))

(yay! Sorry it's a little rubbish, I refused to eat until I finished it xD)

I was still debating on whether or not to find a gag or something to put on my mum when Kougu began to reply. Although I was only partly listening, I picked out a few extracts which somewhat confused me, although I doubted even if I had given him my full attention I would have understood what he was saying. “I haven't done anything for you...guilty to admit...things for myself...purely selfish...” My head snapped up. Wait, he was calling himself selfish? Why? My eyebrows knitted together as I continued to listen to his so-called explanation, although this time he had my full attention. “I helped you. Why? For the sake of my own curiosity. I negotiated with the police. Why? To save myself the guilt and suffering of watching my only frie- I mean, watching you go to prison” I paused for a moment as the words slowly began to sink in and I stared at him, feeling utterly puzzled. So, let me get this straight. He was helping me and my mother and saving us from going to prison, not to mention changing the Chief's mind about arresting me, and in about five minutes... And he thought he was being selfish? How does that work?? Then I remembered his tiny slip of the tongue, something that shouldn't have caught my attention, as it wouldn't have in any other situation, if it was someone else who had said it, it wouldn't have bothered me. Even as he was the one who said it, it shouldn't have bothered me. I was never the one to pick up details that subtle, but this I couldn't help. Was he going to say that I was his only friend? It probably wouldn't have surprised me too much, but for him to admit it? I couldn't help but feel a mix of surprise and awe at his words. So he was protective of me, because I was his only friend? But he'd had other friends in his lifetime, surely. At least someone other than his family who cared about him, and whom he also cared about. But what happened to them? Where were they now? Had they fallen out with him like my friends did with me after the car crash? Of course I knew he'd been through more than I had. He had one person left in his family. So did I, but I couldn't hate my mother like he did his father, no matter how badly she treated me. No matter how much I wished I could slap her sometimes, I could never hate her. Not like he did with his father. So what happened? What could his father possibly have done to him that made him hate him so much? That's what I wanted to know, but if he kept up his promises to coming clean once we had got out of the house, I would soon find out.

Kougu was out before I could ask him about his 'only friend' comment, only making me wonder even more about whether he was feeling about what he'd just said. Guilt? Embarrassment? Frustration? I had no idea. He had left the room before I even had the chance to see his face. Frowning, my gaze followed his tall, willowy figure as he walked down the hallway and out the door. Okay, so I understood that he had to get out before he, you know, killed us all. But it felt like he was almost...running from me because he feared what I may think of him because of his little slip of the tongue. What did he think I was going to do to him? He was the one more likely to hurt me than I was to him, even if I was the one with the gun. Which suddenly reminded me, I would also have explaining to do to my mother when we got back, since I guessed she wouldn't be too pleased when she realised I had a loaded gun sat in my back pocket. I wondered what I'd say to her, whether she'd ever forgive me. Huh, no chance. I followed after Kougu miserably, stuffing my hands in my hoodie pockets and heading out the door. I was getting ready to close the door behind me until I noticed mum was supposed to be coming, and I turned back on my heel to see her standing in the hallway, her arms crossed stubbornly. Great, just what I needed. Talk about timing.
“Are you coming?” I asked, not bothering to hide the irritation out of my voice.
Mother looked me up and down, her face scrunched into a disgusted frown -which to me, was basically reading 'you can't be serious'. I sighed in annoyance, turning to watch Kougu walk off briskly back the way we had come. He wasn't waiting for anybody. Spinning back round, I stepped back into the house, just in time to see Officer Samuel's step out of the kitchen, his eyes narrowed threateningly. He rested himself back on the wall at the end of the hall, crossing his arms back over his chest, like he always did. I noticed something in his icy-blue eyes, like he was defeated. Goodness knows what things Kougu had said to him in there, or maybe if he even threatened him. Samuel's did usually like that, I knew. But I'd seen the face of one of his colleague's when Kougu had mentioned his name. He wasn't just any old male off the street, he was more than that. He was something completely different.
Samuel's chewed annoyingly at his tongue and shifted his weight onto one foot, causing the weak floorboards to creak effectively beneath him. This caused mother to jump, and to my relief, back away towards the door. Thank you, Samuels! Wow, I never thought I'd even think that.
“I'd go if I was you” he said gruffly, although I could sense the threat in his tone. Something told me he'd waited until Kougu had left the house before even showing his face from his hide in the kitchen, in case he was threatened again. Coward.
I brushed past mother and positioned myself so I was stood fairly square in front of him. Well, Kougu might not have been here, but now I had a new sense of confidence that hadn't been there before, I knew the Chief's soft spot. I wouldn't let him bully me, or my family, anymore.
“If you know what's good for you and you're colleague's, you won't be too far behind us” I shot back coolly, mirroring his threatening his expression. I had no idea what had gone on between him and Kougu, but the line sounded like it'd have some meaning to him, at least. If not, well it was worth a shot.
Samuel's inhaled, looking me up and down before pushing himself off the wall, and I could tell in his expression I'd hit something in there, whatever it was. Haha, bullseye! “My colleagues and I need to search the house before we can leave.”
I frowned, staring up at him. “Search for what?”
“Stolen goods” Samuels answered firmly “before we can leave the scene we have to make sure there aren't any more items you stole that we don't know about” I glared up at him, a light bulb going off in my head. So Kougu had told him we could go free as long as I gave back what I previously stole? Something told me there was more to this deal than either of them were letting on.
“You won't find anything”
Samuels' lips twitched a crooked smile, and he turned partly away from me to the kitchen door, where the officer Johnson was standing. “I think I'll be the one to judge that, don't you?” he answered, and I decided not to waste my time any longer, as he obviously wasn't going to give me anything. I turned back towards mother, to notice her standing my the door, looking out to the streets surrounding the house. I walked up behind her, wondering what she was really looking at.
“Charlotte, where's the boy?” she asked, her voice shaking in sudden worry. Ah, so now she was showing emotion for him? I passed her to the front step, my eyes darting frantically down the road towards his house. He was nowhere to be seen.

I sighed, taking mum's hand and led her out the house, before turning back to the officers in the hallway. Finger raised, I looked right into the Chief's eyes. “I want you out by tomorrow” I muttered, getting ready to close the door.
“Oh, my dear. These things take time. Besides, who would rush a moment like this, especially when I have a whole house to myself?” I rolled my eyes. I didn't have time for this. I drew the handle quickly towards me, causing the door to slam angrily behind me. If it broke, I'd happily have them pay for a new one. I jogged down the front steps, still having hold of mum's hand and headed quickly towards the street leading back to Kougu's house. I could remember the way...ish. But I recognised the houses we were passing, and the small number of lamp posts on the pavement. So something told me we were on the right track. “Charlie?!” My head snapped up as I heard my name being called from just round the corner, in a voice I quickly recognised as Kougu's. Oh good, so he hadn't got lost, then. I let out a sigh of relief, quickening my pace around the corner until Kougu's large singular house came into view. I squinted, noticing that same willowy figure stood by the door, looking out for me. Like always. I raised my free hand to catch his attention, a relieved smile tugging at my lips. “Over here” I shouted, just to confirm him of where I was, and practically dragged my mother towards the house, as she was too busy gawking at the size of the property to notice him standing there. “You walked into the door again, didn't you?” I said with a tiny wince, studying the red mark on his forehead where he'd evidently made contact with the thick wooden door. That was so like him.

"Thank goodness..." Kougu muttered as he heard Charlie's response, his legs weakening momentarily in sweet relief as he realised that he had not lost her after all. He suddenly found that he had to lean against the wall to steady himself, and this reminded him of exactly why he was feeling so weak in the first place: Pain. It had been niggling at his head for so long now that he had almost forgotten about it again, and become nearly immune to it... Well, if you could consider having a numb brain as being 'immune'. Then again, was a numb brain even possible? He wasn't sure... Perhaps he ought to look it up... Wait, that didn't matter did it? No, of course not! What was he thinking - he should have been paying attention to Charlie. She was right in front of him by the time he resurfaced from his thoughts, and Kougu jumped slightly as he heard her voice echoing from distant chasms in his mind. Wow, he really was zoning out... Wait, what had she just said? Oh, yes, she was asking if he'd walked into the door... Had he? He couldn't remember... Kougu absentmindedly lifted a hand to his forehead, feeling a slight bump there. "Yes... I suppose I did." He admitted thoughtfully, frowning slightly at his conclusion. Why had he walked into a door? Silly thing to do, really... His father wouldn't be impressed when he saw a dent in the door... Wait, now what was he thinking?! His father was never coming back to this house. He knew that.
Kougu finally resurfaced from his thoughts again to realise that he was still lingering in the doorway - blocking the way into the house. "Sorry..." He mumbled distractedly, "You can come in and make yourselves at home." He offered with a shrug. He stepped out of the doorway and began walking toward the kitchen - unwilling to go so much as a second longer without his medication. Being polite and assigning rooms and whatnot could all come later - once the death threat had been eliminated.
With this thought weighing heavily on his mind, Kougu turned away from the door and stepped into the house, only to find that he had turned the wrong way as he collided with a door in front of him. He heard the clink of chains, and felt the cold metal links press against his bones, and instantly shoved himself away from the door, stumbling rapidly backward. He froze for a moment, staring at the door in absolute horror, then forced himself to turn away and walk toward the kitchen. He couldn't let Charlie's mother, or even Charlie for that matter, see him freaking out so soon after reaching his home. Not only would it make them feel uncomfortable, but it might also lead to awkward questions as to why the door was so heavily locked... He didn't want to tell anybody that. He couldn't... He simply couldn't face it. To say it out loud would make it too true... Too real... Eliminate all chance of denial. No - he couldn't even think about that whilst in such a delicate frame of mind... It would destroy him. He simply couldn't take it.
Shaking off the gloomy thoughts, Kougu hurried over to the kitchen and pulled open one of the top cupboards. He took down a small tub of pills and shook 3 onto his palm. Placing them in a neat row on the spotlessly clean kitchen counter beside him, Kougu grabbed a glass from the draining rack and filled it with water, then swallowed the pills one by one. He drained the glass, then rinsed it and placed it carefully on the draining rack again.
A soft moan of ecstasy escaped his lips as the pain quickly melted away, leaving him feeling light and free. The groggy curtain over his mind also lifted, and Kougu suddenly found that he had full use of his thinking and reasoning skills once again. About time, too... Yet most relieving of all was the fact that he was no longer on the brink. He was in control, and with a bit of luck he'd be able to stay that way - even if it happened.
Kougu stood in the kitchen for a moment, simply enjoying the stillness, the silence and the solitude, but then he remembered Charlie, and he left the room without regret to walk back toward the door. Glancing around for Charlie and her mother, he located them and walked over to them. He smiled briefly at Charlie's mother, then turned his attention to Charlie and addressed her first. "You can use my bedroom while you're here." He informed her, pointing to the door down the hall that stood slightly ajar, "I don't use it much anyway, so you needn't worry about imposing. And since there are two of you..." He added, turning slightly to include Charlie's mother in the conversation, "I'm sure I could find a spare mattress to put in there - else I suppose one of you could sleep on the couch..." He trailed off, pondering the possibilities. Of course, it probably seemed rather illogical to be having problems allocating sleeping areas when there was a spare room right near the door, as well as an entire second storey not being used. He only hoped that neither of them would bring up these points. If they did, he would surely be most displeased, despite his best efforts to stay calm. Those rooms no longer existed in his mind. He did not want to be reminded of what had happened in them.

Turning back to Charlie again, Kougu lowered his voice slightly and said, "I'm guessing you'll want to speak to me now... Perhaps we could take a short walk while your mother settles in...?" He suggested softly, his tone slightly nervous and subdued. He gnawed his lip for a moment in thoughtful silence, then turned his attention to Charlie's mother. "I'm sorry." He apologised politely, "We've not yet been introduced. I am Kougu, and this is my father's house. You can help yourself to anything in the fridge, though I doubt you'll fin much variety, and please feel free to make full use of all the facilities." He offered with a slight smile. "As I've said to Charlie - you're welcome to use the room down the hall, so I'd suggest that you drop whatever you've brought with you in there, then perhaps get yourself a glass of sugar water for the shock and have a rest. You'll probably not feel like yourself until you've calmed your nerves, as you've been through quite an ordeal." Kougu explained gently, "Would you kindly tell me your name, so that I might address you appropriately in future?" He asked politely, offering his hand to shake, then seeming to think better of it and drawing it back toward his body again, deciding to hide his hands in his pockets instead. Nobody touched him. He didn't like people touching him... Not because of germs, or any of the usual reasons, but simply because he did not trust himself around others. The more he isolated himself, the better. He simply could not afford to hurt anybody else... Especially one of the few people whom, in a lapse of determination, Kougu had come to treasure. No matter what she said, Kougu knew that Charlie would certainly not thank him if he ended up harming her mother, and as such he was determined to be extra careful around both of them. Then again, he was always as careful as he could possibly be around everybody, and had that ever helped him in the past? No. It never had... He had still hurt people again and again. It was all his fault, and the guilt that came with it was almost as painful as attempting to resist the urge to do it yet again. It seemed that was all his life had become: One big haze of pain. Pain through resistance, Pain through memory, Pain through regret... The only thing that did not pain him was daydreaming, yet if he lost himself too deep in that, it could destroy him. What use would he be with an unwakeable mind? He would be as good as dead, and that simply would not do, for he had vowed to donate his life to his cause. He would succeed. He didn't care how, and he didn't care when, but he would not give up on life until he had succeeded. He had to do it. For himself... And for everybody.
Then again, he reminded himself suddenly, none of that mattered at the current moment. What mattered was getting Charlie's mother's name - then getting her settled in and out of his hair so that he could go out and talk to Charlie before he lost the nerve to do so. Already he could feel his courage beginning to fail him...

(Okay, it's long, and pretty rubbish, but it's as short as I could get it. I'll stop typing as much later on, I promise! )

My eyebrows shot up at Kougu's reaction, wondering whether or not he had actually damaged his brain from hitting the door so hard and forgotten what had just happened. In reality, it didn't matter so much to me, it was whether he was going to pass out on the doorstep or not because he'd taken such a hard blow. That mark on his head would take a day or two to heal completely, but the bruising beneath it was likely to take much longer. The corner of my lips tugged a tiny smile, and I quickly had to press them together before my amusement became too obvious to him and my mother. Still, the fact that he was still walking into doors continued to make me smile, even if my mother hadn't found it as amusing as I had. She didn't understand him, as she'd only just met him and was obviously in the mood to judge rather than put the 'looks can be deceptive' phrase to any use. Although honestly, I had no idea why she was being so judgmental, since she wasn't looking too fabulous either. “Yes...I suppose I did” My head shook in amusement as I looked up at him, no longer able to hide the smile that had suddenly curved my pale pink lips up at his distracted, slightly confused expression. It then made me decide he was still slightly in shock that the door had appeared suddenly in his path, and his mind must have been elsewhere, like always. Which got me wondering, what did he think about? What did he have to think about so much? If it was something about his past, he would hopefully tell me in details once my mother was out of the way. My thoughts were disrupted as I noticed him say something about 'coming in and making ourselves at home.' But I was in too deep a thought to do so, and I simply stood there, frozen to my spot as he disappeared back into the house, probably to sort out the pain he'd been feeling back at the house – notice I didn't use the word 'home,' since that place seemed to fill me with more and more bad memories as the days wore on, especially with the constant visits from the police – and it was to be hoped so too, as he had practically scared the living daylights out of me when he'd begged me for help because of how much his head hurt. But I hadn't been able to do anything. I was helpless. {i]Useless[/i]. Perhaps my mum was right, perhaps I was a waste of precious space and time. I sighed miserably, looking down at the gravel-coated ground. How many times had I failed her now?

”What were you thinking, Charlie? I told you to go out the back entry. The shop had plenty of security cameras and the back door was the only place you'd definitely be clear of getting caught on camera. But of course, you weren't caught on camera, were you? No, you were caught red handed, right in the shop!”
The little girl's lip was trembling, and she had to quickly clutch it tightly with her teeth before she burst in to floods of fearful tears once again. The police's arrest had been terrifying enough. She hadn't even known they could arrest children at the age of ten! She had hoped the shop keeper would let her off with a warning. But no, once meant she was most likely to do the same thing again. But did she have to be thrown in the storage room of the shop until the police came to pick her up? Left alone in the cold, the dark, the dimmest of lights flicking weakly above her head as she awaited the law to decide her fate? Well, of course the punishment had been nothing other than a warning that if she did it again, they would take charges. She would probably go to court and sent to a Young Offender's Unit, the equivalent to a children's prison. But that ride in the back of the police car, handcuffs and everything, had been enough to make her change her mind about thieving again. At least, for the time being.
Now she looked up at her mother, tears threatening her already large, glassy eyes as she quickly thought for a reply. But her mind was racing, and nothing seemed to fit to what had been expected of her. In fact, she didn't even know if there was a suitable reply to her mother's already raging accusations. But what had she expected? Surely she couldn't expect her ten year old daughter to be able to carry all those groceries, did she? Especially without getting caught.
“It was too much to carry...” She mumbled helplessly, her gaze dropping to the ground.
“Too much?” her mother shot back, her eyes narrowing. “Too much?! It had only been some eggs, bread and a pint of milk. It was enough to keep us going to the rest of the week, and hopefully a couple more days. But now what am I supposed to do? I have no money to pay for it, and you obviously aren't going to have enough money for it. So we'll have to get it somehow. Which mean you'll have to give it another try tomorrow”
The girl's head snapped up to look at her mother, and her thin, fragile body began to tremble in fear. She couldn't go back there, not now. Not after what the police had said to her. She would be punished if she was caught again. She would go to prison. But that was the choice she'd be forced to make. Food, or prison.
“I...I c-can't. I d-don't want to go back there again” she stuttered, shaking her head from side to side quickly. “Please don't make me. I'm sorry, I can't. I just c-...” she was cut off when the back of a firm, bony hand struck her hard on the cheek, and she suddenly found herself being thrown to the floor, landing head first on the flattened carpet. If the ground hadn't been cushioned by the weakness of the floorboards, she would have been knocked out completely. Clutching her cheek, the girl quietly whimpered, forgetting about the bead of blood slowly trickling down her temple. She was suddenly aware of how faint she was feeling, but her mother seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact and carried on speaking.
“You will be sorry if you don't get that food by tomorrow. Have you got that?” The mother straightened up and watched her daughter curled up on the floor of the sitting room, smearing blood all over the carpet. Her lip curled slightly in disgust, and she flickered her eyes back on the child. Now she knew what her consequences would be, she would go and get the food, as promised, for the next day. Well, someone had to do it, and it most certainly wasn't going to be her. Turning her back, the woman looked towards the empty kitchen, deciding she would have to clean it some day. At least, once it was in use. Her head turned a few degrees over her shoulder, as she watched her daughter shuffle up to a sitting position. Her cheek was red, and she seemed a little more light-headed than previously, but it would probably be to do with how firmly she'd been snapped into reality. The woman inhaled sharply, and she turned on her slipper-covered heel back towards her daughter. “And for goodness' sake, clean up your mess. In fact, do the whole floor. It's filthy” and with that, she stepped past the girl and walked up to her room.

I swallowed, bringing my hand up to the cheek I'd been slapped with, still feeling the impulse of the blow as my fingers trailed over the bare, pale skin. That had been one hard slap she'd given me that night, more than I should have had. I mean, I'd fallen over running towards the back door, so what? It had been one mistake, and my first try with theft. I'd had enough drama for that day, and that was before I'd even arrived home. I winced, unable to look at mum, who was still stood beside me, although now our hands had slipped away from each other. I don't think I would have been able to keep hold of hers if we had still bee holding them, as that memory was one that had made me fear her, not only a little bit, but a deep, skin-crawling fear that hit me even when our eyes met. The threat was always in her, her eyes, her face, even in her speech. I wouldn't talk to her for days. I'd fainted after a few minutes of cleaning, not that she'd been there to notice. But the blood from my head, and the blow as it made contact with the floorboards had slowly caused my consciousness to drift away from me. Plus, the fact that I had had no time to rest before working again had wrecked my chances of recovering without passing out on the spot, which what had happened. Even after all this time I hadn't forgiven my mother for how she'd treated me that day. The day I became a criminal.

My thoughts were disrupted once again as mum leant towards me, her eyes still set on the open door before us. “He walked into a door” She whispered, obviously still getting over the fact he lived in such a large house. Still refusing to look at her I shrugged, slipping both my hands into my pockets.
“He does that” I answered, rather casually and watched him as he appeared from the door leading to the kitchen, then ran right into another door, the one I'd noticed the first time I'd entered the house. The locked room, full of...what? What was in there? I'd never asked. He stared at the door in disbelief then turned and walked back out the door again, and I watched the gash on his head become a little redder than before. I winced, just to be disrupted...again by mum's horrified comments.
“But he walked into a d-”
“Drop it, mum!” I hissed, perhaps a little harsher than intended. Well good. It was about time I played her at her own game, wasn't it? Before I could say anything else, Kougu positioned himself just in front of us both, and began to speak. “guessing you'll want to speak to me now... Perhaps we could take a short walk while your mother settles in....” He turned to mum, and I could see her looking him up and down, judging him, again. I could slap her sometimes.
We've not yet been introduced. I am Kougu, and this is my father's house. You can help yourself to anything in the fridge, though I doubt you'll fin much variety, and please feel free to make full use of all the facilities. As I've said to Charlie - you're welcome to use the room down the hall, so I'd suggest that you drop whatever you've brought with you in there, then perhaps get yourself a glass of sugar water for the shock and have a rest. You'll probably not feel like yourself until you've calmed your nerves, as you've been through quite an ordeal. Would you kindly tell me your name, so that I might address you appropriately in future?"
I had a sudden urge to stop him, to tell him he was trying too hard, that he didn't need to be acting so nice to my mother just in order for her to stop looking at him the way she did. We both knew he was wasting his time on that one. But still, I couldn't blame him for trying, I guess he was just that kind of person. This, right here, in front of me, was the Kougu I knew. Not the murderous madman he thought he was. My gaze dragged over towards mother, and I could tell she was debating on whether or not he was taking the mickey by playing nice. Forget it, mum. You're thinking far too hard about all this. After a moment's thought, her lips parted as she began to speak.
“Catherine. My name is Catherine”
I rolled my eyes. Now she was just taking advantage of the fact that someone was finally being nice to her. I sighed, turning to Kougu. “Just call her Cathy.” No point making him call her something no one's called her in years, even in her younger days. Dad always addressed her as Cathy, and I think the only person who'd ever called her Catherine was her mum, my grandmother, and she got Alzheimer's disease when she reached her sixties and seventies. Kougu didn't deserve to be the odd one out. Mum didn't seem to object, instead she scowled and turned away from me, like a toddler who had just been told they can't have their favourite sweety from the shop. I sighed, shaking my head. Kougu was right about one thing, we needed to get her inside so me and him could finally enjoy the peace and quiet, and hopefully come clean on the secrets we'd been keeping from each other. “Mum, just go inside. We'll be back later. I promise”
“It's funny. That's what you said when you were going out to get the gem from the museum. And (xD) look how that turned out” She grumbled, but did as she was told anyway, silently stepping into the house. She left me stood by the wall beside Kougu, watching the woman I had loved my whole life, who had watched me grow up and mothered me throughout my childhood turn her back on me once again. She changed before my eyes at the loss of our family, and now what was left was a stranger trapped in her body. My real mother would have never pressured me into stealing, or even have dreamed of striking me, no matter what I had done. But I guess that's what time and loss did to a person. It destroyed them. I knew that more than many people out there. But did Kougu?

((Sorry - I couldn't find much to babble about, so I had to improvise... *sheepish grin* Hehe! Still, at least it's done. ))

Kougu glanced uncertainly from Cathy to Charlie as they each gave him a different answer. Oh great! Did they understand the predicament they had just put him in?! He couldn’t call her either name without either disrespecting Cathy or upsetting Charlie… Of course, he had been brought up to show an adult the utmost respect, or die trying. Literally. Then again – the last thing he wanted to do was upset Charlie… Much as he hated to admit it to himself, she was extremely important to him. Too important… Just as his only other friend had been…

”How are you holding up?” a kind voice asked, and the young Kougu glanced up into the concerned eyes of his friend, only to shake his head and turn away again – staring blindly at the coffin before him. The short man with the balding gray hair was reading the eulogy that Kougu himself had written, not by his own choice, but upon his father’s… Request. The man was stumbling over some of the words, and Kougu suddenly felt ashamed that he had not been able to do his mother the justice she deserved – even in death. He gnawed on his lip as the man finished his speech, then glanced down and examined his feet as the people around him began to walk up to the coffin to pay their final respects. The sound of scraping chairs all around him made Kougu’s head throb, and he did his best to ignore it as he watched his pale toes digging into the dirt like fat little worms. He jumped slightly as he felt a touch on his back, glancing up to see that the blonde boy sitting behind him had placed a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. He did not pull back at Kougu’s reaction, and after a moment Kougu released his tension and forced a slight hint of a smile toward the boy, then dropped his gaze to the ground once more. He lost track of time as his mind slipped into the world of moles, soil and earthworms. He lived in the dark, underground world for as long as the fantasy could hold him – then felt himself dragged back to reality by a gentle voice beside his ear. “Kougu… Kougu, everybody’s left.” The boy said softly. Kougu slowly raised his head and glanced up at him, peering up at his friend from between curtains of dark, messy hair. “Don’t you want to… You know… say goodbye?” He asked gently, standing up and offering a hand to help Kougu up. “No… No, I can’t… I-“ Kougu broke off, shaking his head, and pulled away from the boy, hiding his hands behind his back. “Kougu, come on.” The boy said softly. “No!” Kougu exclaimed more firmly. “It’s my fault! It’s my fault they’re dead! I don’t deserve to say goodbye! How will it help if they’ll never know?!” He asked, clearly distraught. The blonde boy sighed and placed a hand on Kougu’s shoulder, holding his gaze firmly as he spoke. “It isn’t your fault, Kougu. It’s survivor’s guilt. You can’t keep blaming yourself like this… It’ll destroy you.” He gave Kougu’s shoulder a friendly shake, then straightened and held out his hand again. “Come.” He said with a smile, “I’ll go with you.” Kougu shook his head again, more violently this time. “No!” He yelled, thrusting the boy’s hand away. “It’s not like that! You don’t understand! I-“ Kougu’s voice cracked and he fell silent, torrents of emotion seeping from him. Suddenly, a flash of pain blinded him and everything faded to black.
“Kougu…” A choked voice gasped, and Kougu was suddenly pulled back to reality – feeling as though he’d just awoken from a coma. “K-Kougu…” The voice came again. Glancing around for its source, Kougu gasped and stumbled backwards as he realized that he was kneeling on his friend. The blonde boy coughed up a mouthful of blood as Kougu scrambled away from him. “Kougu… W-why…?” He stuttered softly, then he closed his eyes and his breath caught in his throat – never to escape his lungs again. “No…” Kougu murmured, shaking his head. “No… Not again! Not again!” His voice rose into hysterics, and he ripped at his hair as a strangled scream burst from his throat. He wanted to cry – to yell and sob for the loss of his friend – but his guilt was such that grief could not break through the barrier it formed. Trembling violently from shock, fear, and a multitude of emotions he did not even recognize, Kougu glanced down at the cold, lifeless thing that mere moments before had been the only person in the world who truly cared for him – and showed it. His dark blue eyes widened in horror at the sight of the mangled corpse. The boy’s head was split open, and long shards of wood were stabbed into the base of each of his limbs – obviously to hold him in place. A brief glance around told Kougu that the wooden shards were in fact the legs of the chair he had been sitting on, and that the object he had beaten the boy’s head in with was the very same chair. With trembling fingers, Kougu fumbled with the wood and finally managed to tug each shard out of the boy’s body – leaving gaping holes, which gurgled and bubbled with the thick, gluttonous crimson liquid that gradually filled them. The blood soon overflowed and began to soak the boy’s clothes. Glancing down at his own pale, long-fingered hands – Kougu saw that the selfsame blood encased them in gloves of crimson. He was just starting to shake more violently when a long shadow fell over him. Turning slowly, Kougu stared up into the face of his father. For the second time ever – he saw a hint of pride in the man’s face, yet more than that there lingered the savage pleasure of success. Kougu stared up at him in awe, suddenly turned to stone by the man’s presence. “You’ve done well, Kougu.” He said quietly. “He knew too much. He would have been a danger to our cause. We must make sacrifices for the greater good.” He stated heartlessly. The tidal wave of confused emotions that swept over him at that moment proved to be enough to jerk Kougu out of his memories and back into reality.

Kougu blinked away his daze as he quickly refocused his mind on the present – successfully managing to hide his inner turmoil with the help of the incredibly strong pain medication lingering in his bloodstream. Taking a deep breath, Kougu finally made the impossible decision that he had been faced with. “An honour to make your acquaintance, Cathy.” Kougu responded with a kind smile – being sure to keep his tone as respectful and polite as he could to draw attention away from the choice he had made regarding her name. He was most likely just putting too much thought into the subject, but it had seemed important to him, so what else was he supposed to do? Biting back a subdued sigh, Kougu continued speaking is response to the next waspish argument that jumped from Cathy to Charlie. “Please do not worry – your daughter speaks the truth.” Kougu assured her quietly. “I shall personally assure your safety whilst you are staying in my father’s house, and as such I shall assure that Charlie and myself will return in due time. Besides – I should think you should appreciate some privacy to get settled.” Kougu concluded simply, inclining his head politely in farewell before turning and leaving the house – managing to walk through the open door and down the few small stairs without any major accidents or injuries.
He paused as he reached the road, glancing back to beckon to Charlie. Assuming that she would follow, he began to stroll slowly down the road – quite content to walk slowly and peacefully. He found it easier to think when he was walking, though admittedly it did often end with him getting lost… Still, this time he would probably be talking. That would surely be different… The thought unsettled him slightly, but Kougu reminded himself that he had made a promise, and that he must keep it – no matter what. “Well… Shoot. What do you want to know?” Kougu asked softly, turning his head to glance around for Charlie. He owed her an explanation, that was for sure, but how much should he divulge…? He couldn’t tell her everything. There were limits, of course… And he would not speak of his personal life unless absolutely necessary. It was ‘personal’ for a reason, and he intended to keep it that way. No matter how much he cared for her, no matter how much he trusted her, he was still the way he was. Nothing would ever change that… At least, not for the better. Sighing softly, Kougu dragged himself away from his thoughts once more, flicking his messy dark hair out of his face to glance around for Charlie again – already having forgotten if he had actually located her in the first place or not.

(Okay, this is my final post until Tuesday, or possibly Wednesday *sniff* It's a little short, but I didn't have much time left to finish it, since I've got to go soon, and I'm not even dressed But this shall continue next week. Bye for now, Polokins! *waves*

I shot a grateful glance in Kougu's direction, somewhat glad he was still keeping up his politeness, as it meant he wasn't bothered my my mother's comment and her accusing tone of voice. I was actually quite surprised to be honest, after all I- we'd put him through, the stress... He had recovered very quickly. The thought comforted me, and I felt a tiny spark of relief running through my veins, causing me to relax. As soon as mum was out of the way, I'd find it so much easier to calm down knowing she wasn't there to torment and irritate Kougu – and me, frankly – and it meant we'd be able to have a private conversation without her judging glares and irritating back-chats. I was surprised Kougu wasn't getting ready to slap her himself, as I was definitely itching to, after the way she'd treated him. She could treat and judge me as she wanted now we were in safe hands, but I would not stand by and let her mistreat the one person who had in fact saved her from those menacing police officers who were getting her ready for being sent to prison. She had reason not to like me, but she most certainly didn't have any excuse not to like him, whether he had messy hair or not. “An honour to make your acquaintance, Cathy” I heard Kougu say, and I suddenly found myself wincing. I was exceedingly grateful that he had managed to keep up his patience with her, as I'd lost mine a hell of a long time ago. But the more he seemed to act so nice around her, the more I willed for him to stop. She didn't deserve it, not after the way she'd treated him. A long sigh escaped my lips as I waited, waited for her to give it up and close her big mouth before I went over there and did it for her. She lingered in the hallway as we both heard Kougu's footsteps slowly retreating from the house and I shot her a questioning look, wondering what she was waiting for. She waved her hand madly to gesture me to come to her, I rolled my eyes but did so anyway. Once I'd arrived by the door, she rushed towards me, clutching her cardigan around her body. No wonder she was cold, she was wearing barely anything. Other than a long skirt that hit her ankles and a plain t-shirt, the cardigan was the only thing keeping her warm. And (xD) even that wasn't working, really.
“How do I know I'm not going to be murdered or something? I'm alone, in a house, with nothing to defend myself. There could be anyone hiding in here...”
I rolled my eyes, watching behind me as Kougu slowly strolled out onto the street. I was not losing him again. No more hanging around. “Would you give it a rest? Kougu's no murderer. Take it from someone who knows.”
Her eyebrows shot up as she leant on the wall beside her, and to hers – and my – surprise it didn't creak, or make any noise whatsoever when you put pressure on it. It was rock solid. Well, that's what you get from living in such a cheap apartment for so long. You forget that normal houses have proper brick walls, proper roofs, and a proper heating system. Mum looked back to me, obviously not forgetting her point had still not been made, and crossed her arms across her chest. “You've known him for, what? Two days? That's not long enough to know someone well, Charlotte”
Anger boiled inside me, and I found my hands tensing into little fists by my face. “Charlie. My name is Charlie. Not Charlotte. It was never Charlotte. Never. And why are you so bothered? I'm the one going out with him...” I froze, my eyes flickering to my mother's expression. Did I just say...? Wow, the poorest choice of words I had ever spoken.
“W-what?” her eyes were narrowing now, and I had to think fast. She was getting the complete wrong end of the stick here.
“I meant going out...for a walk. Going out for a walk. That's all it is. We're having a chat, that's all...” I sighed in frustration, knowing this wasn't going anywhere.
“So you're not...you know...”
“Oh god, no!” I exclaimed, perhaps a little too fast. She picked up on that, too. I could tell. “We're friends, that's all. Friends. Like you said, I can't know someone that much after such a short time”
“So you're definitely...”
“Save it!” I shouted in frustration, stepping away from the door and back towards the front gate. “I'll see you later” I added more calmly, slipping my hood up, although the sun was shining brightly in the sky. I wanted to hide the obvious flush in my cheeks in case she thought she'd got it all right. How embarassing. She thought Kougu was my boyfriend! I mean I liked him, yeah. He'd helped me come so far, in a matter of days. I couldn't not like him. But love him, like that? No. Although... No. No! No, no no no no no.....
I shuffled to a stop, realising I was standing right beside Kougu, and I'd not once looked in his direction. Stuffing my hands in my pockets, I slowed down to his gentle speed, keeping my eyes to the path in front of me. Now I was away from all that, I could relax. I salowly slipped my hood off my head, scratching the back of my head so every chocolate strand of hair fell roughly into place, dropping down onto my shoulders and back. I inhaled deeply, hoping to my heart he wouldn't notice my still colourful cheeks. I don't know what I'd say to him if he did. “Well...shoot. What do you want to know?” His voice made me jump, and I had to think properly before I gave him an answer. What to say? I suddenly found myself smiling, although I didn't know whether it was nerves or the fact that I was so relieved of being away from my mother once again. That she was no longer in danger, and was lo longer in my face all the time. “Well, where do I start?” I asked with a quite laugh, which soon faded into silence as I struggled to find a single question to ask him. All the questions were muddled up in my head, all those things I wanted to know about him. I couldn't think of a single one to start with.

After a moment's thought, my eyes widened as a thought popped in my head. He was alone, on his own in that huge house. So, why? Where was everyone? “Where's you're family?” I asked curiously, my eyes still on the road before us. “I mean, a person like you doesn't have a house that big usually. They can't afford it. Were you an only child? If not, where're your siblings?” I paused, biting my lip suddenly. That was enough for now. But my mouth was like a broken tap of water. Once the questions came running out, it was very hard to stop them. Unless, that is, someone turned the handle. And Kougu wasn't going to, unless he was going to kill me or something... I quickly shook the thought from my head. He would never hurt me, and I could say that with confidence. Or at least, some confidence, or a little confidence... Well he hadn't done it yet. And if he was going to, he would have done so a while ago. Why would he start now?

Kougu glanced up at Charlie in surprise at her question. So she thought- Oh hell, he should have made himself clearer... He didn't want to tell her so many... So many unnecessary things! Okay, so she had only asked one question, but of all the questions she could have asked... "That's not exactly what I meant..." Kougu admitted, glancing away again and feeling slightly ashamed for having lead her astray. "When I said I would tell you everything, I technically meant everything involving you..." He admitted apologetically. He bit his lip as he realised how cruel his words sounded, and instantly rushed to make amendments. "But-" He broke off, struggling to form words when he was so nervous. His father had warned him once before that he would end up with a permanent stutter if he couldn't learn to speak through his nerves... Unfortunately at the time that had just made him all the more nervous, so of course he had replied with a stutter which had got him a hard lashing across the face that left him unconscious for quite some time. Personally he felt that particular lesson had done more harm than good... Suddenly aware that had got lost in thought yet again, Kougu returned his attention to Charlie. "Sorry. I-" He broke off again. Damn it! What was he, a deaf toddler? Could he not do something as simple as string a few words together...? Abandoning his frustration with himself, Kougu calmed his nerves before making another, more sensible attempt at speech. "That being said, I- I guess you do deserve to know... You know... Well, I suppose you don't know, really, that's why I would have to tell you..." He trailed off vaguely with a mystified expression. Trying to balance his thoughts, senses and the conversation all together was difficult and it seemed distractions were affecting him hugely. Then again, that was probably because, deep down, he knew he wanted to escape the conversation. "Well, as I was saying..." He went on, making yet another attempt at saying the exact same thing. "I suppose I owe you some insight into my life, -Some, please note - seeing as how I know so much about yours... Although I don't really, do I? It's just like everything else, isn't it...? I just guess, and then assume I'm right... That isn't really right, is it?" He trailed off thoughtfully, getting lost on a different track of thought yet again. It was clear that he was stalling, though whether it was fully intentional or not was hard to tell. It was always hard to tell with Kougu...
Either way, this particular conundrum seemed to entertain him for an extraordinary amount of time, for he walked in silence with a frown of concentration plastered on his pale face for a good 5 minutes or more. When he finally resurfaced from his thoughts he seemed to realize his mistake, for he flashed Charlie a timid, slightly sheepish smile. "My family..." He mumbled, his tone instantly becoming subdued and despondent on the subject. All emotion left his face, and Kougu suddenly seemed far more like a robot than a person - almost as though he was being operated by remote control. As though he couldn't think... Couldn't feel... Though in reality, he simply shut the thoughts and emotions out, for he knew that they were far, far too much for him to bear. "Well, the house is my father's." Kougu began, deciding to start with the simplest first. "But he never leaves his work, and besides, he would never dare return there." He explained tonelessly, speaking of his own life as though he was reading it out of a particularly boring textbook. "My mother and my younger sister are dead. So I live in the house alone, which I suppose is best, considering..." He trailed off, his mind completing what his lips hadn't the courage to say. Considering the fact that I go about killing everybody who crosses me. Kougu sighed and shook his head, shoving away the memories that threatened to engulf him and willing himself to keep his cool. Not happening. He had never spoken about what had happened, not to anybody, and for good reason. He had known he wouldn't be able to handle it. As the pressure began to build, Kougu reached into his pocket, his fingers fumbling with a small plastic tub. He was glad he had thought to slip one into his pocket... Since he was not used to going out often the thought had not crossed his mind before, but after what had happened at Charlie's place, he did not plan to leave the house without them ever again. Kougu flipped the lid off the tub and shook a few pills onto his hand. He stared at them, and for a brief moment he felt excitement building up within him as the temptation became almost too great to resist. As he was about to throw the handful of pills into his mouth, Kougu checked himself. He was being stupid... He wasn't thinking straight. Slowly releasing a deep breath to refocus his thoughts, Kougu dropped the pills back into the tub until only one remained in his fingers. He refastened the lid on the tub, then dropped it into his pocket again. He studied the pill in his fingers for a moment, then popped it into his mouth and dry-swallowed it. He coughed slightly at the awkward feeling of his throat drying out, then a soft sigh of relief escaped his lips as the pill quickly began to take effect. Finding himself instantly calmer, Kougu turned his attention back to Charlie, managing a slight smile. "Well, that's all in the past now, right?" He concluded with a faint chuckle. "Is there anything else you feel you need to know? I mean- About what happened back at your place... Not about me. You don't really want to know about me..." He trailed off then with a slightly subdued tone and, finding himself unable to hold Charlie's gaze any longer, took to looking around instead. He enjoyed watching their calm, peaceful surroundings for a moment, and an expression of relaxed contentment crossed his face. It was amazing how much time had passed... The sun was high in the sky now, casting bright rays of light over the wet asphalt under his feet and causing it to glisten merrily. Soft, cotton-wool clouds gambolled merrily in the bright blue sky, the gentle breeze twisting them into playful puppies, or wise old trees, or just about any sort of shape one could conjure up through their imagination. It was a truly delightful sight, and Kougu soon found himself hopelessly lost in it: his mind creating a thousand stories of fantasy and fiction for each imaginary image the shapes of the clouds instilled in his mind. A peaceful, slightly unfocused expression consumed his face with the thoughts. It was not long, however, before this rare expression was replaced with a frown. Kougu glanced over his surroundings a second time, then turned back to Charlie, seeming slightly confused. "Do you know where we are?" He asked innocently, "I don't really recognise this road..." He scratched his head, clearly befuddled by his predicament, then shrugged and kept walking - obviously not the least bit concerned by the prospect of being lost. Why should he be? It happened all the time. He was used to it...

Well, I'd been glad he'd answered that one, as it had been the one thing that had really been bugging me, almost more than all that back at the house. Although I wasn't finished, and we both knew it. But at least I'd got an honest answer, even if it wasn't as detailed as I'd preferred it to be. He explained how his mother and little sister were dead, and that he was alone in the house. Which was best, according to him. In a way it was fair enough, he was definitely capable of causing damage to objects...and people when he wanted to. But didn't he feel, I don't know, lonely every now and again? I certainly would, if I'd been alone for such a long time. Although... I guess I was also alone in a way. I'd had no one left to talk to until I met him, and I ended up sharing a house with a complete stranger – the person my mother had become. I hated it. I hated the awkward silences, the cold glares, the fact that neither of us dared to speak in case a fight broke out. I hated that I no longer knew her, that the person who she'd become was no longer the woman that had mothered me for a full ten years of my life, then turned into someone almost unrecognisable after my father and Alex's deaths. It was fascinating how something realistically small could destroy one so much that they could turn on their own daughter so easily, and also pressure them into things that could even be illegal. But it happened. It happened to me, and to her. And no matter what Kougu tried to say or do, it would probably not make a speck of a difference to how my mother thought of me. Even if I was the one who had kept us both going for the past six years. I decided to ignore Kougu's stutters as he told me that that wasn't quite what he had meant by asking me what I wanted to know, since I hadn't even got started with the questions yet. That was a tester, to make sure he was serious about answering the questions honestly, and now I knew a fraction more about him, other than he was a member of something called L. A. I. K. O – whatever that was – which didn't seem to have a friendly affect on the officers back at the house... Not that I was complaining, or anything. I mean, it got me out, didn't it? Well, there was my next question. But of course, I'd first have to explain the reason why I'd asked such an off-subject question in the first place. And I couldn't really tell him I was testing his honesty, he'd think I didn't trust him. I'd already told him otherwise. Did I want to confuse him? Well, I'd rather not, in case it triggered anything...unwanted. I took in a sharp breath, and decided it was time for me to speak. “Don't worry, I'm getting to all that. I just...” I sighed, my gaze slipping slightly away from him as I struggled to think of a logical explanation. What was I to say? My hands wrapped around each other as I took a thoughtful pause, planning the words in my head. “I...I'd been dying to know that from the start, and I figured it might have something to do with what happened back there...” I waved the words off with a flick of my hands, deciding that there wasn't really any more I could say. Except for one thing... “I mean, I guess... I guess because I feel I know so much less about you than you do with me, I wanted to get a brief idea about why you lived alone now. If it was a flat, or an apartment, I'd understand. I'd just presume you were a student or something, especially at your age. I mean, you look around the age of a student. But by the sound of things you didn't really go to school, did you?” I peered up at him curiously, secretly feeling a tiny spark of pride at my bright estimations. Haha! So I was better at this than I'd first thought. I bit my lip, hiding back the happy grin that threatened to part at my lips. He'd want to know what I was smiling about if I did, then I'd feel stupid trying to explain, or I'd have to lie. As much as a liar I could be at times, making things up on the spot was never really my thing.
I was itching to know more about why his mother and sister had died - as he hadn't yet explained that particular detail, and if he hadn't now, I doubted he would any time soon...unless I asked him – although I decided I was better off leaving it at that for now, as there were much more important things to ask him. For example, why had he broke down in the living room in excruciating pain then got up a minute or so later like nothing had happened? Yet another question to add to my list. There were far too many things at the time that didn't seem to make sense to me, I was beginning to lose track of them all. This was going to be harder than I'd first thought... Well, I might as well start at the top, if I was going to make the most of our time alone out here... wherever we were. “I heard you mention something about your father back at the house. Something like, what was it, L. A. I. K. O.? What is it, and why did it make the officers, you know, tremble in fear when you told him your name? I mean, no offence, but even with that scar on your head,” - which I admit, I had barely noticed - “and the fact that I'd seen you try and kill a guy off the street, you don't look that scary.” It was true, to me anyway. I mean, Kougu didn't exactly have that 'normal' look to him. But then again, who did? What is normal?? Even with that huge scar on his head, not to mention the huge on on his neck from being shot with a taser, he didn't have the look of a mass murderer or anything, nor did he have the name of someone who necessarily wanted to hurt people, if there was such thing. He was called a tool, but it didn't mean he was a killing tool...did it? My gaze slowly ran over the unfamiliar street, and I suddenly found myself frowning. I had no idea where we were either. Great. I twisted round to look back down the path we'd just trekked down, but nor did I recognise that. Damn... Thinking for a moment, my eyes caught a small green blur sticking out of a wall far in front of us, and I squinted to make out what it was. It seemed like a cover for a shop window, as it didn't really look like the sort of thing for a house. I nodded suddenly in recognition. Ah, so that's where we were. “Don't worry, I think I know. That corner shop down there... it's the groceries shop I first stole from, back when...” I trailed off, scrunching my eyes closed. Back when I wasn't a criminal... No, I didn't want to remember that again. This was Kougu's questioning time, the time for me to find out more about Kougu. He didn't want to know about some stupid old corner shop from my past. “Best not go in there” I muttered, looking down. “I'm not exactly welcome any more” My lips parted as a humourless chuckle exited my bitter expression. How many places around here was I ever welcome to these days? Kougu's house, mum's house. That's it. Because I'd stolen from everywhere else, or people had heard about what I'd done. But had they ever stopped and wondered why? Of course not. Down these streets reputation was permanent. You get a rep, it stays with you forever. No matter how much you try to change it. No matter how much you'd long to change it. It stays. Like battle scars it stays, a reminder of the kind of person you are. A thief. A criminal. An enemy of the law. It wasn't until now that I'd realised there was more to me than that, and Kougu had helped me to notice that much more. It might not have been intentionally. In fact, I highly doubted it was ever intentionally. But it was just one of those things he managed to do. How did he do it? I may never know, but I loved him for it. That, I couldn't deny.

(Hallelujah! *headdesk*)

Kougu glanced over at Charlie as she spoke, and was surprised to find that his nervousness dwindled slightly at the sound of her voice, allowing him to relax a little more than usual. That confused him slightly, for it just seemed so completely... Backwards. Usually conversation made him extremely nervous, especially when it involved him, yet somehow if Charlie was the one speaking it made him feel... Better? That was too confusing, and certainly not the sort of mystery he felt like tackling at that moment. Maybe he'd work it out one day, but until then he'd just settle for the cheap explanation that human emotions were simply too complex for his understanding, and that his own that he had managed to shut away were now beginning to awaken in response to the emotion Charlie showed - thus confusing him beyond belief and causing him to act a little more... Human. Actually, that almost made sense; in an extremely weird, twisted kind of way. Kougu shook the thoughts off and tuned his attention back to Charlie, suddenly realising that he hadn't even been listening to what she was saying.
Kougu nodded in response to her words, smiling slightly at her logical estimation. As he had expected, she could make a pretty accurate guess when she thought about it. What did worry him slightly, however, was how much she seemed to understand him. Nobody should have been able to guess anything about him as a general rule, at least not accurately. It was just one of those things - it wasn't possible. Yet she had… So clearly she understood him more than he thought. The prospect scared him, yet at the same time, it was somewhat comforting… Was it possible… Was this the beginning of… Of trust? It hardly seemed possible, especially for him, yet at the same time he had a feeling there was some truth in it, if just a little. Kougu took a sudden deep breath, silencing his thoughts, then began to reply in a slightly calmer voice than before. “I went to a school for a very brief spell of time during my childhood, since my mother wanted me to interact with other children – but as it soon became clear that school was rather pointless for me, my father overruled her and pulled me out.” He shrugged vaguely – seeming falsely unconcerned – but inwardly it seemed his very soul was screaming in protest to giving away such information when it was not absolutely necessary. Sure, it was a small, pointless and harmless snippet of information – but it was also some tiny insight into the life he despised so passionately, and was so determined to keep hidden until the day he met his grave. Kougu shuddered off the melodramatic thoughts, then quickly turned his attention to what Charlie said next – hoping to belittle the importance of his previous words. He glanced over at her, taking in her questions, then glanced away again, struggling to keep calm as he pondered over how much he ought to say. “Well…” He began hesitantly, “This is classified information, so technically I’m not allowed to tell you…” He paused for a moment, frowning in concentration as he attempted to calculate the possible ramifications. “I’m not sure what will happen if I do tell you… So please exercise cau- Uh… Be careful.” He broke off with a soft chuckle, somewhat proud of himself for remembering to speak in simple tones. It somehow made everything feel warmer and less official… It made the atmosphere more relaxed and comfortable. “L.A.I.K.O is a behind-the-scenes government organisation.” He began, explaining as though he was reading it directly from a pamphlet on the topic. “I can’t explain to you exactly what it is we do… But let’s just say we have a little more power than the police feel comfortable with opposing.” He chuckled softly at that thought, then went on. “As such, we have allied with the police force, which I suppose you could say makes the chief of police my father’s subordinate.” He broke off then, his muscles tensing slightly at the mention of his father. That man… “Well, that’s enough about that.” Kougu concluded, struggling to keep his voice light and carefree when he was suddenly seething with fury.

Kougu’s anger soon melted away, and he gradually found himself becoming comparatively cheerful as he gazed around at the unfamiliar surroundings – placidly allowing Charlie to work out where they were and relying on her to get them back. It felt unexpectedly good to be able to depend on somebody else for once, and Kougu was quite content to sit back and relax while she did the thinking. He glanced over at her as she poke – a silly peaceful smile on his face – and nodded vaguely. Aaah… So she did know. That was good… Besides that, what she had said was interesting and it piqued his curiosity. “I see!” Kougu exclaimed enthusiastically, glancing over at the shop with the sort of eager expression a child might wear when given a coin to spend in a sweetie shop. “I think we should go in there.” He informed her with a mischievous grin – intentionally ignoring her warning and apparent bitterness. He was finding himself with a sudden burst of high spirits that he did not completely understand, but he knew that they would end up paining him as much as the misery if he did not act upon them soon. It was unbelievably strange how quickly he could switch moods, even to him, but then again he supposed he was probably mildly affected by bipolar… And just about everything else. He flashed Charlie a quick smile, then jogged over to the store before she could stop him.
A bell tinkled above the door as he pushed it open and stepped into the little shop, carefully wiping his feet on the mat as he looked around. He had seldom been to a shop such as this… Or any, really… And it fascinated him completely. He glanced around at all the shelves – his dark blue eyes wide with curiosity as he examined the various products they held. It was a small shop, not even half the size of his house, yet it held a wide variety of goods ready for purchase. His eyes darted greedily around as though desperate to take in everything before it all disappeared. He remained in the doorway, hovering pointlessly and not quite noticing the strange stare he was getting from the shopkeeper, who seemed to be wondering if this strange youth had escaped from an asylum, or if he was just extremely high. His eyes narrowed in suspicion as he watched Kougu, but Kougu was oblivious to the stares, for there was so much more to entertain his attention than the grumpy shopkeeper and his cold gaze. Kougu smiled placidly to himself, then turned around and glanced outside, beckoning for Charlie to follow. “How much did you take?” He asked with a gentle smile, “Can you tell me what it was worth?” He added innocently, waiting patiently for her response. He was going to do this whether she liked it or not, so he would make her tell him even if he had to… Well… Talk her to death, since he didn’t exactly plan on touching her. Still, her story had inspired him and the prospect of finally doing something with the small fortune he had that sat and gathered dust excited him greatly. He would pay for what she had taken now, and then surely the slate would be clean. After all, what excuse would the grumpy shopkeeper have to say Charlie was not welcome in his store after the goods had been paid for? Then she would be just another customer. It was cruel to think that she should be shunned and judged for a past that she had had little choice in, so the way he saw it, it was his obligation as an upholder of good over evil, to right this wrong and obliterate the reputation that had been built around her. Oh yes, he had a goal again, and that simple thought made him feel more alive than anything else ever could. After all – his ‘greatest goal’ was the only reason he was still alive… Right? This little mission of his that he had chosen to undertake could become one more reason… One more ounce of strength and willpower for when he needed it most, which for him seemed often.

Ah, so I had been right...ish. He'd not been to school that much, but he had been to school. Well, it wasn't that bad a guess, for me anyway. I had got it mostly right. But why had he been thrown out again? His father had said it had been...pointless? How was school pointless? Especially for someone as bright as Kougu. If his father had been so caught up in having a useful tool he should have let him get a full education and then teach him all the fighting self defence crap he'd apparently taught him when he was younger. Then he could have worried about shooting him with a laser, which I personally was down right uncalled for. What sort of a father purposely shot his son with a laser gun, just for the sake of him being able to dodge it? Something here just didn't make sense. And I could sense something in Kougu's words, like there was something he wasn't telling me. Well, okay. There was plenty he wasn't telling me, because he didn't want me to know. For whatever reason. But the reason meant nothing to me, since I saw no point in going on this walk if we weren't going to be honest with each other. I'd hoped for a detailed explanation on Kougu's life here, and so far I hadn't got any farther than that his mum and little sister were dead, and his father worked for a company called LA.I.K.O, which I apparently couldn't know about in case I was 'put in danger.' What did he think I'd been living in for the past six years? Hello... These were the streets, not The Magic Roundabout. I'd risked death before. Even worse, I'd risked prison. Prison! I could cope with one more petty threat on my back, I'd had plenty off my mother alone. And danger? Ha! I laugh in the face of danger. Besides, it was only a few words to tell me what the company – if that's what it was – was all about. It wasn't like I was asking for the secret code to open a doorway to a secret alien spacecraft hidden underneath the White house... Wait, what? I rolled my eyes at my own distant thinking. I'd watched waaaaaay too much TV. I blinked a few times to help bring my attention back to Kougu, and frowned seriously to listen to what he was saying. “I can’t explain to you exactly what it is we do… But let’s just say we have a little more power than the police feel comfortable with opposing. As such, we have allied with the police force, which I suppose you could say makes the chief of police my father’s subordinate.” So they were...above the police force? Well, that explained a lot. Including why the Officer, what was it, Evans? Yes, that's right. Officer Evans had almost had a heart attack when Kougu had showed him his scar, which I thought was a little dramatic, to be honest. Even if he did work for L.A.I.K.O. What, had he thought he was going to kill them all for trying to arrest me? I smiled at the outrageous thought. Not very likely. Even if one of them had given him lip, like our good friend Chief Samuels had attempted, until of course he'd been reminded of who Kougu was, but still... He'd be shot dead sooner, surely. I watched as Kougu quickly ended the conversation, obviously deciding he'd said too much, and let my face drop slightly. Why was he being so secretive? I wanted to know [/i]more[/i]. I wanted to be able to look at him and think 'I know him' and actually mean it. I didn't want to have to question any of his actions, and know his thoughts and feelings. I wanted to help him. So what was with all the cuttings off? We'd barely even started...

I stared at Kougu in confusion as the mood suddenly drained out of his features, leaving him oddly excited about something I didn't yet know about. Oh great, what now? What was he grinning about? God, he looked like a child that had just been told they could pick any toy they wanted off the shelf at the toy shop. Why was he so excited? I had a really bad feeling about this... Kougu turned towards the shop and I could see the light suddenly flickering in his dark blue eyes, making me suddenly dread what was going on in his mind. “I see!” He exclaimed, looking towards the shop. “I think we should go in there” He said, turning back to me with a rather scary looking grin. My eyes widened in horror, and I suddenly realised my head was shaking,rather dramatically. There was no way I was going back in there, it brought back too many unwanted memories. No...no no no no no we shouldn't. No no no no no..... I looked up at him, hoping...praying that he wasn't being serious. That he was just hovering on one of those clouds and would float down any minute, and he would wake up, realise what it was he was doing, then go all quiet and thoughtful and all-to-himself. He'd wake up. Hopefully... “No, Kougu. No no no...no no don't go in the...” Before I could say any more in attempt to stop him, he'd shot off down the street towards the small building by the corner of the road.“...shop” I finished, although it wasn't like he could hear me. Even if he could, I doubted he'd listen. I let out a low growl of frustration, quickly setting off after him. What was he after? Why did he always want to do the opposite of what I told him? Why did it matter so much to him? He'd probably passed the damn thing hundreds of times before and never even realised. His father had called him a tool, so wasn't he supposed to be good at giving orders? Obviously not. I groaned, skidding to a halt just by the small shop window and took a couple of deep breaths. I'd had enough of running, and I'd kind of hoped being saved from the police meant that I'd not have to do as much of it as when I'd actually been on the run before. But so far I'd been doing more exercise than many people at the gym in the past couple of days trying to keep up with Kougu, who seemed to have legs proportionately longer than a crane fly, as opposed to me, who didn't stand much above 5'2”. I watched Kougu rather helplessly as he entered the shop , deciding I knew better than to follow, and hovered on the doorstep, ignoring the threatening glare of the shop keeper behind the till. I've had enough of that, thanks, I thought silently, resting my shoulder on the brick wall and waiting for him to be finished with whatever he was doing. I just hoped he didn't want me to go in after him, as not even the Prince of Wales was capable of luring me into that place. Not for all the money in the world. Well, maybe for a bit of money. I definitely needed something, since I hadn't been able to sell that gem from the museum... “How much did you take?”
What?? I hadn't been expecting that.
"Can you tell me how much it's worth?" I stared at him, almost unblinking. He wanted to know how much I'd stolen from the shop? Why? I blinked, shaking my head in disbelief. “You're impossible. D'you know that?” I decided I didn't want an answer, so began to think back to all those years ago. But my memory wasn't all that good. I sighed, scratching the back of my head in attempt to try and remember, but my memory of that year was somewhat fuzzy. Well, the details like how much money the items I stole were worth seemed to have drifted from my mind. When your stealing bread from a corner shop, you don't tend to think about how much it would have cost if you'd bought it yourself. “Uh...two loaves of bread, half a dozen eggs and a litre of milk. Around five pounds eighteen...I think” I stopped, my eyes narrowing suspiciously. “Wait, why?” What was he planning? I didn't know, in fact, I dreaded to know. But I was going to find out, and by the looks of things, it wasn't going to turn out well.

”You’re impossible, D’you know that?” Charlie asked, and Kougu cocked his head in vague confusion. No matter how he looked at it, that accusation simply didn’t make sense. Impossible? How could he be impossible? He was a human, at least for all points and purposes involved, and strictly speaking a human could not be ‘impossible’… Or could they? Wow, this one was tricky; he would have to take a moment to think it over… Kougu’s eyes slid out of focus as he stared unseeingly up at the ceiling, his pupils gradually widening to allow in excess light as they became accustomed to the dark interior of the shop. Tapping his chin thoughtfully, Kougu stared blindly for a moment longer, but when the blank ceiling gave him no answers, he took to staring at the shelves instead. Unfortunately, this only proved to distract him from his quest. Chips, chocolates, milk, eggs, bread… All multitudes of products resided on those shelves. He could imagine how cruel it must have been to set foot in here with hunger clawing at one’s belly – yet to be expected to resist the temptation of attempting to sate that hunger. Surely the shopkeeper understood that? Surely it was human nature to feel that empathy, and thus to understand why the deed had been done? Well, apparently not. Unfortunately, if that was the case, it meant that Kougu understood his fellow humans even less than he had originally thought. Was he even one of them? Well, he couldn’t exactly be anything else… But then what was he? Oh yes, he was impossible. Impossible… But what did it mean? Kougu cast back into his memory, searching through the pages upon pages of books he had read – the multitude of dark inky squiggles on pale paper that composed his vocabulary.
Impossible: Incapable of having existence or occurring. Well, he was tempted to say that that one fit, but unfortunately much as he hated to admit it, he did exist. Not capable of being accomplished. Well, that one made no sense whatsoever. How could an object, or for that matter, a person, be accomplished? Illogical. Confusing. Kougu shook his head, dismissing the thoughts before finding the next explanation lodged in his mind. Unacceptable; Intolerable. Okay, well that one made sense, but… But… Was that really okay? Was he that bad? What aspect of his behavior had been so intolerable, so unacceptable? Wait – was that sarcasm? He hadn’t known he was capable of that, even in thought… Huh… That was truly fascinating.
Kougu’s mind drifted off track for a while, like a butterfly whose path is altered by a breeze, as he pondered the prospect of sarcasm and his unexpected and abrupt introduction to it. It was the first time he had openly recognized it in his own train of thought, and this fact seemed to have ensnared his interest. Eventually, though, he found his way back to the original problem: Attempting to accurately define just exactly what, according to Charlie, he was.
Extremely difficult to deal with or tolerate. Bingo! He had hit the nail on the head that time. Kougu smirked for a moment, evidently swelling with pride at his accomplishment. It was not long, however, before his face fell and a frown replaced the smirk as he thought over what he had just established. So he was… ‘Difficult to deal with or tolerate’? Not only that, but extremely difficult? Wasn’t that a tad harsh? No… No, actually it wasn’t. Not at all. He could barely tolerate himself, after all, so it was hardly fair to expect Charlie to have a higher level of tolerance than he did. But at the same time, if she found him so intolerable, did that mean that she had written him off as impossible? Ah, there it was… That word again. So was that what it meant? She had given up on him? Was she saying that she had finally had enough of him and that, just like so many before her, she would write him off as a hopeless case and just flounce away from him without so much as a word of farewell? But that couldn’t happen… That couldn’t- He had thought they were friends. He had thought she cared… Hadn’t she cared? She had seemed like she cared… ‘Caring’ what did it even mean? Feeling and exhibiting concern and empathy for others. No – wait, he knew that! Why did he need a definition to know what he thought he had seen? Well, he knew that he had cared. Perhaps he hadn’t exhibited it, but he remembered the pain of that empathy all too well. He had been certain that it was mutual, but if that was the case, why was she… abandoning him? To withdraw one's support or help from, especially in spite of duty, allegiance, or responsibility; desert. No… No, that was enough. He didn’t want to know any more definitions. He didn’t want to remember any more… It hurt too much. Mental suffering; anguish Why did it all have to make so much sense?! Why couldn’t the words just leave him alone now?! Alone… Being apart from others; solitary. Being without anyone or anything else; only. Considered separately from all others of the same class. Being without equal; unique. Now that was too much… What was this supposed to be – a dictionary to his life?! Well of course it was… It was his mind, after all. But if that was the case, why should it want to destroy him…? Why? Oh, who was he kidding. He knew the answer to that. ‘Destroying’ was what he had been born to do. It was all he had lived for, all he had learned and all he was capable of. His mind had been moulded to destroy. Who was he to lash out at it just because he had become the target – just like so many times before…?
Kougu finally sensed a rope of reality extending toward him, and he grasped it with the full extent of his mental strength, determinedly pulling himself out of the black abyss of his thoughts that he had so nearly lost himself in. The first thing he became aware of as reality hit him as a loud pounding sound, as though somebody had given a crazed monkey a set of bass drums and hooked them up to an amplifier. He winced at the sound and attempted to cover his ears, only to realise that the frantic pulsing came from within. His own heartbeat deafened him as the violent pulsing of blood caused his veins to swell into visibility beneath his pale skin. When he finally became accustomed to the unbearably loud beating of his heart, Kougu became aware of the fact that he was trembling slightly, though from what he could not tell. His fists were clenched and shaking, Cold sweat trickled sickeningly down his spine and Kougu felt a shudder wrack his entire body. He was staring blankly ahead – his dark eyes frozen in the gaze of a dead man. He sat thus a moment longer, then blinked as a distant sound caught his attention. As it went on, he began to recognise it as Charlie’s voice. It soon penetrated his thoughts, and Kougu finally found himself in control of his limbs once more – scattered and tangled as they did seem at the time. As he tried to establish where each of them was, he became aware of the fact that he had slid down the wall, and was now slumped in an untidy heap on the floor. Strange… He couldn’t remember having sat down… Kougu took a deep breath and released it with a slight quaver, then unclenched his stiff fists and glanced down. His nails had bitten into his palms again – cracking open the old wounds from his outburst before. Had he been that upset…? He shook off the thought – disregarding the tiny trickles of blood as he attempted to tug himself back to his feet. Finally, he managed it, and then he glanced over at Charlie – staring at her as a dog might stare at a master who has just ordered it to leave…. To leave, and never come back. Kougu turned his baleful eyes away, staring at the ground instead. He was not a dog, and she was not his master. More importantly, she was speaking and he was not listening. He released a shuddering breath, calming himself, then glanced back at her, his jaw clenched in determination as he forced himself to pay attention. “…Around five pounds eighteen...I think…Wait, why?” Kougu frowned in vague confusion, suddenly trying to remember what on earth she was talking about. He glanced around him, jumping slightly in surprise as he noticed that they were in a shop. A shop…?! Oh, yes! Now he remembered! He had been going to reimburse the shopkeeper for those stolen goods. That was why they were in a shop. Kougu was so proud of himself for coming up with this conclusion that he almost smiled, but then he remembered what Charlie had said. She was leaving him. Now was not a time to be smiling… But wait – if she was leaving, then why was she answering his question? Had he been making this out to be more than it was? Was it possible that- No… He did not even dare hope… But-? “So…” Kougu began hesitantly, but his shaking voice failed him. He gulped nervously, then attempted again. “S-So… You’re not… You’re not leaving me then?” He asked, gnawing nervously on his lip as he glanced hopefully at her – hardly even taking in what she had said – let alone answering her question. He simply couldn’t think that far… But no. He had to – it was his obligation. “Oh…” He muttered softly, frowning in painful concentration as he thought back to her reply, “Oh… Um… Five pounds eighteen, was it?” He confirmed in a slightly dull tone. “I, uh… I was going to… To buy it, you know… But I mean, that is… Well, if you don’t want me to, I-“ Kougu broke off, gnawing on his lip and dropping his gaze. It was no point trying to speak in such a state. He wasn’t even making any sense… He had to know, one way or another. Was he going to have to be alone again? Was she leaving him as he had suspected? Well, he had known all along that it was too good to be true. This was exactly why he did not trust. Every time he came close to it, he was reminded of that reason. Although, he supposed it was far the best. He had lost track of what was important, for he had become so caught up in his own selfish wishes… He had almost forgotten the danger he was putting Charlie in simply by being around her. Some to think of it, he had wanted to leave way back in the start. He should have done it then. But hey, it didn’t matter… She was correcting his mistake now, and just as well… Before it was too late. Who had he been trying to kid, anyway? This wasn’t a fairytale world he was living in. He was doomed to solitude. It was time he got used to that fact, and forsook his desperate hope for a miracle that was never going to come. The hope only ever hurt more in the end… After all, it couldn’t be crushed if it was never there to begin with… Right?

I don't know which definition he took personally when I had called him impossible, but my the look on his face, it hadn't been the right one. I watched the emotions run through him like droplets of water, starting off with confusion, fascination – when he began to stare at the shelves on the wall – back to confusion, frustration, pride, hopelessness, something I couldn't quite read, then finally, defeat. Wow, out of all the things Kougu could have been at that point, an emotional roller coaster seemed to fit so much better than anything else that could have hit my mind. I'd called him impossible...so? In a way I had been serious, he was impossible in far more ways than I'd actually meant when I'd said it. But he hadn't needed to take it so...personally. You'd have though I'd told him to go to Antarctica and freeze to death, and he'd not understood what I'd meant, then got excited at the idea of going to Antarctica – for probably the first time, and if it's any constellation, I haven't been either – and seeing penguins or whatever, then realised I'd told him to die and felt bad about it. Of course, I'd never say such things to him, as I knew 1) it was an extremely poor choice of words for Kougu and 2) He'd never deserve it anyway, even if he did frustrate me a little bit sometimes. I'd never tell him to go die. In fact, the only two people I would ever tell that too were my mother – during the worst of arguments, I admit, I did say it an aweful lot – and the other was officer Samuels, ol' Busslebritches himself, who could sometimes make me want to hit him. But of course that would also get me arrested, so simply telling to drop dead was the other alternative, although it didn't give as much of an impact. Still, it was always better than nothing, and didn't get me into too much trouble. But anyway, goodness knows what Kougu thought I'd said as now he was... oh crap. What was he doing? I watched him with confusion, and slight horror, as he slid to the floor, looking rather done in. He was staring into space, and really looked like I'd hit him or something. I hadn't even touched him...had I? No I hadn't. So what was up with him? Why did he look so...so depressed? Was he remembering again? No, he didn't look like he was in pain. At least, not from the outside he didn't. He wasn't trying to rip his hair out either. So that was a good sign, in a way. So what was he thinking about? Was it something I'd said? I lingered by the doorway, debating on whether or not I was supposed to break the rules and walk in anyway to make sure he was okay. He probably wouldn't say so, but a girl could guess. No, wait. 'Guess' made it sound too random, and what was that word? It was a long one the teacher used in English once. Am...ambi...ambiguous, that's it! So, 'guess' made it sound too ambiguous. No wait, ambiguous wasn't it. Ambiguous was describing a word that had loads of meanings. What was I thinking about? Amb...am-bi...am-bi-va-...Am-bivalent! Wait, hang on. What was my point again? I forgot... Oh, right. 'Guess' sounded like my thought was random, and that I was ambivalent towards the thought. The word I was looking for was 'estimate'. Yes, estimate made me sound clever. At least, it made me sound more clever than I actually was. Okay, now I'd completely forgotten my point... “So...” A voice interrupted my pointless trail of thought, and I looked up to see Kougu struggling, still sat on the floor, his face actually looking a little bit ill. As in, more than usual. What the hell was wrong with him? I stepped into the shop, ignoring the glares of the shop keeper as I did so. I couldn't have cared less what he thought of me, as Kougu at that time was far more important. I slowly knelt down beside him, careful to stay a foot or so away and stay clear of his abnormally large bubble of personal space. There was no need to have a repeat of what had happened last time. I sucked in my breath, peering at him almost as if he'd started speaking alien or something. I wanted to know what was going on in that head of his, if it was something I'd said, or if it'd been something in the shop...both of which seemed very unlikely somehow. “Your not...You're not leaving me?” I stared at him, my eyebrows knitting together. Had I said that? I couldn't remember... No, wait. I's called him impossible, then I'd answered his question. So no, I hadn't. What was he on about?? I sat back on my heels, still staring at him. Where on earth had he got that from? “Um... No...?” I'd said it as if I'd been asked a difficult question for a quiz and didn't know if the answer was right or not. I definitely felt like that. Why had he thought I was going to leave him? It just didn't make sense...

“ I, uh… I was going to… To buy it, you know… But I mean, that is… Well, if you don’t want me to, I” Hm, he changed moods faster than I could read a road sign. (xD) One minute he was leaping about excited at the fact I'd told him not to go to a shop I'd stolen from before, and the next he's shrinking back and telling me he wouldn't if I didn't want him to. Had he hit his head on the shelves or something on his way down? I could feel the hot glare of the shop keeper burning through the back of my head and rolled my eyes, turning to face him. “What the hell are you gawking at?” I snapped “Get back to work!” I swear it was like talking to a toddler. The shop keeper rolled his eyes and gave me one of those looks, like those old ladies do on the bus when you walk on with your hood up, even when it's raining. Then they start having all those 'back in my day' chats with each other about youth these days, and it makes you want to hit them. But you daren't, in case their bones break just from you touching them because their so brittle. If Kougu hadn't have been there, I swear I would have hit him. Wait, if Kougu hadn't been there then neither would I. I'd never have set foot in the shop if he hadn't dragged me in in the first place! He shook his head and scowled, a 'for goodness' sake, youth these days' scowl, and got back to reading his paper. I think he would have shot something back if a strange unrecognisable teenage boy was sitting on his floor, looking like he was going to be sick any moment, and had just offered to pay the shop an extra five pounds for stolen objects that probably didn't even exist anymore. The mild would have turned to cheese by now, unless it's been bought, the bread would have turned green with mould, and the eggs would have either become scrambled or rotten by now. Why was Kougu bothering? It was six years ago, I'd already paid for my mistakes, and I'd already got my rep for life. He was just wasting his time. I took a deep breath to relax myself, and decided to speak. He had to know I wasn't leaving him. “Okay, first of all, I'm not leaving. Repeat, not leaving.” I started clearly, looking right into his eyes. I just hoped he would be listening to me. He didn't always do so fully, what with being so...thoughtful. “I won't be for a long, long time” Wow, this was awkward. It was like telling an excitable puppy to sit when you told it to. “As for the money, you go ahead if you want, if you feel it would make any difference whatsoever. But the damage has already been done, and people already know all about me. Being pardoned by one shop isn't going to affect the neighbourhood's thoughts of me” I finished, slowly sitting back on my backside and crossing my legs in front of me. Maybe we did look like toddlers sitting in the play area, and maybe we would get funny looks from whoever entered the shop. But in the end, it didn't matter. People barely ever came to buy to stuff from there anyway. We'd be fine for now. Besides, it wouldn't be for too long...hopefully.

No… She had said no. That was it – back to that empty house with all its many hidden memories, empty picture frames, and locked doors… He had known all along. He had worked it out. It was like maths… You didn’t need to whole equation to work out the answer. Wait – that didn’t make any sense at all! Come to think of it, what was she even replied to… Kougu’s lips silently reformed her answer as he glared at the shelf directly across from him with complete confusion, trying to remember exactly what he had asked her. He had gotten himself into such a state that it had slipped his mind completely… Kougu jumped suddenly as Charlie started yelling, and for a moment the harsh tone to her voice sliced right through his lowered defenses. Oh hell, he had made himself too vulnerable… It was like scrabbling in quicksand as Kougu tried to escape the pull of his memories, but they gripped him too tightly. That voice… No, not the voice, not by a long shot. That voice was Charlie’s, and that voice had never bore him any ill will. Not really… It was the tone that he recognized. That harsh, snappish tone… Always followed by… Kougu flinched suddenly – certain that the smack across his face he was sure he had received was real – though he already knew it was not. He father was not here. Nobody was going to hit him, whip him, cut him, shoot at him or any of the other ‘creative’ punishments that man had come up with. Well… He had good news for his father next time he saw him, if there was time between the moment the bullet silenced his brain and when the final breath left his body, of course. There certainly wouldn’t be time before that, since Kougu doubted he would be able to wait any longer than he absolutely had to for that moment. Still, he was sure that his father could die happy knowing that his punishments had brought about the desired affects in his useless son… His beloved ‘tool’. Kougu dropped his gaze as he felt anger building up, and he quickly dispelled it, pleased to find himself in control of his emotions once more. What Charlie must think of him by now…? What with all his many breakdowns and needless emotional outbursts… ‘Weak’ seemed like an understatement worthy of the record books. Although, now he thought about it, did they put understatements in record books? He didn’t think they did… But surely anything could be in a record book? Well, anything interesting enough anyway… Ah. Interesting. Understatements were simply not interesting. Well, that made sense – to some extent anyway. Could he possibly get into a record book? He supposed he probably could, for something along the lines of ‘most people killed before the age of 20’, but somehow he didn’t think he would like that… For one thing, everybody would know his name. Besides that, they would know what he had done, which would certainly not help him forget it. They might even ask him about it, and then he would probably kill them, and go into a shame spiral, and- No… No, he wouldn’t much like being in a record book. Why did anybody like it? Or did they get put in by force? What was it like living in a book anyway? Wait – now he was drifting too far into his imagination. People did not live in books! But then again… No! Come to think of it, he didn’t think he’d ever really seen a record book… But then how did he know about them? It was probably just a figure of speech. Speech. Had he been saying something when he got onto this track of thought? No, he didn’t think so… Charlie had. Ah, yes… She had been shouting…
Kougu frowned slightly at this thought, suddenly concerned. Had he caused Charlie to shout? That wasn’t good… He ought to apologize. He glanced over at her, about to say that he was sorry, but then he saw her glaring at the shopkeeper and realized that he had probably just gotten the wrong end of the stick again… In fact, it seemed almost as though she was… Standing up for him? Wow… He hadn’t quite expected that. Kougu felt a slight smile twitch his lips despite himself. What the hell had he been thinking? This was Charlie. She wasn’t out to get him! Hadn’t he already established that? He really needed to learn to stand by his conclusions. He was always getting himself too worked up over nothing…
Kougu jerked his head around to face Charlie as he heard her draw in a breath – sensing that she was about to speak. He fixed her with an intent gaze, clearly fully attentive and hanging on her every word. His jaw clenched in anticipation as she began to speak, and it seemed to him as though everything was moving in slow motion – like when the main character in a suspense film is opening the door to the room where the killer is hiding… ”Okay, first of all, I'm not leaving. Repeat, not leaving.” The words washed over Kougu and for a moment he simply blinked stupidly at her, but then they began to sink in. As the full meaning struck him, Kougu felt his face slowly splitting into a relieved smile. Gosh, these emotions were so troublesome… Never mind trying to express them… He had been able to ignore them perfectly well before Charlie came around. Well… To some extent anyway. But then again, he hadn’t known happiness then either… “I won't be for a long, long time”. At those words, a relieved laugh burst from Kougu’s lips. He had been making mountains out of molehills all along… He should have known better. She wasn’t like the others. That was why he was able to accept her. “I guess I over thought that one a bit didn’t I…?” Kougu asked with a weak smile, obviously aware that he had just had one of his ‘weird’ moments… And not the good kind. “I’m sorry.” He murmured suddenly, his voice so quiet is was barely coherent, even without being muffled by the fact that he had dropped his head to stare at the floor. “I… I should have had more faith in you.” He admitted softly. “You’ve proved yourself worthy of my t- uh… That is, I should have known that you’re more tolerant than I give you credit for.” He added hurriedly, quickly changing tact half way through when he realised what he had been about to say. ‘Trust’ ‘Friend’. Two such meaningful words now that he had almost let slip… He really had to be more careful. He didn’t trust, he couldn’t trust – so it would just be cruel and misleading to imply to her that he trusted her, even if he did think he felt the beginnings of trust coming on. He couldn’t be sure… How was one supposed to recognise it when they had never felt it before? It was like trying to imagine an unseen colour or an unheard sound… “Right then!” Kougu exclaimed suddenly, pushing himself to his feet and shoving his thoughts away. “I don’t have anything better to do with my money anyway, so I figure that ‘buying’ a few less glares is a good way to spend it.” He concluded, fixing Charlie with a kind gaze and a pleasant expression that was almost a smile. He glanced toward the counter for a moment, gnawing on his lip absentmindedly as he struggled to make a decision that was suddenly weighing on his mind. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes for a brief moment, then opened them again – ready to speak his heartfelt words. “And Charlie…” He murmured quietly, slowly turning back to face her. “Thank you.” He said, his soft words holding the sort of unbreakable sincerity one might use when vowing in court to speak ‘the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth’. However, as this tone was somewhat common for Kougu anyway – being incurably honest as he was – it seemed like almost nothing beside what he did next. As the final word left his lips, he reached out toward Charlie. He hesitated as his hand drew nearer to her, his fingers curling back slightly in uncertainty, but this time when the moment passed he did not pull back, but reached forward and placed his cold hand softly on Charlie’s shoulder. “Thank you for everything.” He muttered quietly, his eyes locking on hers for a brief moment, then dropping them rapidly as he hesitantly pulled his hand back, then turned hurriedly away and walked toward the counter with the air of somebody trying to escape some untold horror pursuing them – only with a little less speed and urgency. Why he had just done that, even he did not fully understand, but somehow it had just seemed… Right. More than that, it had seemed important. He had needed her to know just how much he meant what he was saying, and somehow words hadn’t seemed enough. Kougu shook off the thoughts, feeling slightly intimidated by them, and walked over to the counter with a confidence he seemed to have conjured out of thin air. Kougu slapped a handful of notes down on the counter, then spoke in an unfeeling, official tone. “Charlie would like to pay for her overdue purchases from this store, plus interest.” Kougu stated simply, “You are please to revoke all charges made against her, and believe me, I’ll know if you haven’t.” Kougu requested politely, though the underlying threat in his tone would have been clear even to a deaf man. Without even pausing to gauge the man’s response, Kougu turned away and walked back toward Charlie, pausing a short distance off and glancing around nervously – obviously not quite willing to talk to her and settling instead for waiting for her to speak – or act – with a distant, detached air. Apparently he had decided that he had opened up a little too much, and as such he seemed to have shut her out completely again – his pale face showing less emotion than the shelves and walls surrounding him.

I didn't know what he'd been thinking, but he seemed to be staring at the shelves as if they were out to get him. And I could sense that far-away look in his midnight-blue eyes, he was thinking about something he really didn't want to. Oh great, so now he was remembering? Come on Kougu, not here. Not now. Not when you're surrounded by so many breakable things. My eyes trailed to the small pair of isles beside us, both lined with shelves stacked tightly until practically the last bit of space was somehow taken up with something. Everything was so orderly, so neat. I could just picture all those almost perfectly lines groceries in heaps on the floor, and the fixed shelves being ripped from the wall and crashing down on the smooth, plastic-lined surface. A place as vulnerable as this wouldn't take much doing to vandalise, especially when the one vandalising it was a good six foot of pure hate and the possible capability of a Grim Reaper (don't ask ). Okay, perhaps Grim Reaper is an overstatement. Besides, I hadn't actually seen him kill anyone yet, only attempt to. But if in one of his moods, he assures me he's capable of death if he puts his mind to it. Having said that, it probably didn't take much thinking to kill if his mind was numb, did it? Wait, now I was really thinking this through far too thoroughly. He wouldn't hurt me, I was sure of it. I haven't done anything to make him want to hurt me...at least, I didn't think I had. I'd literally barely even touched him. But then again... No. He wouldn't hurt me. He cares about me, I can see it. Otherwise he wouldn't have brought me in in the first place. He wouldn't have helped me at all with the police, and he wouldn't have let us stay at his house, especially after the way my mother had treated him. Of course, I'm sure if he was angry he may well have trashed the shop, and possibly hurt the shop keeper in some way, but I'd stop him before he could do any real damage. Of course I'd stop him, somehow. Although if I touched him he'd probably panic and turn on me too. Ugh. Why did this have to be so complicated? I had the IQ of, at the most, a ten year old. I didn't do complicated.
Wait, now I'd got far too into my own trail of thought I'd been forgetting all about Kougu. He was still staring at the wall, but after I'd been yelling at the shop keeper to stop staring at us as if we'd both grown a new head, he'd seemed a little shaken for a moment. Perhaps he hadn't seen me when I'd been looking at the shop keeper... Well, of course he hadn't, he'd been too busy staring at the wall. So it had been a good thing he'd looked in my direction, otherwise I know he would have thought I was shouting at him. Goodness knows why, really, since he'd not given me any reason to yell at him, just like I don't give him any reason to hurt me. Plus, I never really used that tone of voice with him even when he was frustrating me, at least not without apologizing afterwards. A good thing too, really. As he'd looked pretty traumatized by it all. Why had he become so vulnerable all of a sudden? I just couldn't understand it. One minute he was prancing into the shop, grinning excitedly at me because he was doing something I'd specifically told him not to do, then the next he's on the ground practically shaking over something I didn't even say. How does that work? And he'd thought I was leaving. But why? What could have possibly lead him to believe that I'd just walk out on him after he'd helped me so much? But as I told him firmly that I wasn't leaving, to my relief, he'd taken it in. Good, so he was listening. That was a plus. I watched the relief run through his features, like the weight and the tension had just been lifted off his back, and shook my head in amusement. Goodness knows what had caused him to think such nonsense in the first place, but at least he knew the truth now. I wasn't going to leave, not until the day he dis-owns me and throws me out. And hopefully, that day wouldn't be too soon. “I guess I over thought that one a bit didn’t I…?” I heard him say, a little awkwardly, but I couldn't help but smile. Who would he be without his little...'moments'? I nodded, my smile lightening up my face once more as my lips parted to reveal my almost pearly white teeth. “Yeah, you did.” I said quietly, unable to keep the smile from my face. He was out of his little phase now, it was going to be alright. “I… I should have had more faith in you. You’ve proved yourself worthy of my t- uh… That is, I should have known that you’re more tolerant than I give you credit for” With that my eyebrows shot up. Forgetting completely about his innocent slip of the tongue, I couldn't help but feel a tad surprised. Seriously, after watching him crawl up the stairs, covered in blood with his throat slashed, watch him try and kill a stranger on the street, throw a knife so hard it dug into a brick wall - and also catch a single strand of a spider's web from a good few yards away - pierce his palms so hard they drew blood just because I mentioned his father, and break down in pain begging for help because his head hurt. And it was only now he discovered how tolerant I was? Wow, for a genius he was pretty slow at figuring that one out. “Right then!” The sudden loudness to his voice made me jump, and I watched him, my face moulded into a puzzled frown as he brought himself to his feet and retrieved some money from his pocket. Oh great, he was serious? He was actually going to pay off the things I'd stolen those six years ago? I winced as he passed me, dreading the shopkeepers reaction. But before I could think any deeper on the subject, Kougu turned back round to me His face now flooded with honest sincerity, and a speck of innocence, only Kougu could show so obviously without even trying.
Okay, if I was given a penny for the amount of times Kougu changed his mood, or his facial expression, I'd be rich by the end of the week. Seriously. It was tiring just trying to keep up with him.
My eyes flicked over his features, wondering curiously what he was doing. Was he changing his mind? Oh yes, please be changing your mind. I don't want you to waste your money on me, Kougu. You know I don't deserve it. So wait, your actually listening to me? Cool! You're finally listening to me! Wait, I don't think I specifically told you not to pay the guy, I just said it wasn't recommended, since I don't see how it would make any difference. But I was kind of hoping you wouldn't... So, does that mean you read minds now? Can you hear my thoughts? Oh god, if you are, well... Wow. This is awkward...
“Thank you” Wow, I hadn't been expecting that. Wait, why was he thanking me? Had he read my mind? Why wasn't he responding to my thoughts? Wait, hang on. What was I thinking? Of course he couldn't read minds. Why had I thought he could read my mind? I'm such a moron. Still, why was he thanking me? Was it for not running away whenever he did something...how could I put this gently...abnormal? Because that was pretty often he did something like that. Besides, wasn't known to running away from danger. I only ran away from the law. Besides. Danger? Really? Ha! I point and laugh at the face of danger. It hadn't done anything back to me, yet. Nah, it was life that didn't seem to like me all that much. Life, and cats - especially those stray ones you found roaming the streets on a night. They always seemed to hiss at me when I crossed them. Then they'd take their hairy backsides to some pedestrian nearby and wail as if they'd never been fed in their life. Well, maybe they hadn't, but it was no excuse to hiss at someone if they don't give you exactly what you want. Nope, I hated cats. And cats hated me – I looked up at Kougu to notice his hand was rising from his side. What was he doing? My eyes followed his long fingers as they slowly, very slowly, came and rested themselves on my shoulder. I flinched slightly at the coldness of his skin as it hit my thin t-shirt, and I had to bite my lip to hold back the tiny shiver that was about to take over my body if I didn't stop it soon. I'm sure Kougu would feel ashamed at causing me...damage – since that's what it would count as to Kougu, although I don't really know why – and I forced myself to listen to what he was saying. “Thank you for everything” But honestly, the only thing I could think about was his hand on my shoulder. It was cold, but it was him. He'd never even gone near me through his own free will before, and now he was doing what he had tried to do earlier, but he hadn't had the courage to do it. I couldn't help but let my lips twitch a tiny smile. I bet he hadn't done this in a very long time. I was so proud of him! Although I still didn't know what he was thanking me for...
Before I could think any more about it, his hand had retreated from my shoulder and with the blink of an eye he had turned away to the shop keeper, leaving his back to me. Was he running away from me? My hand slowly rose to the shoulder he had touched, and I traced where his fingers had briefly made contact with my skin with my own. His touch still tingled on my shoulder, and it seemed to take longer because he'd turned away from me so quick. I stared aimlessly at the wall opposite me, my lips curving into an smile, animated by the sun's rays radiating in through the shop window, hitting my pale skin like a bullet. But I barely even noticed. My hand trailed slowly from my shoulder, and down my neck until it fell down back to my side. Kougu's voice was echoing in the background, but it was like I couldn't hear him. I was in a trance, still trying to get over the fact of what he'd done. He'd actually done something he hadn't dared to do before. Great. good for him. But why was I so happy about it? In a few moments his touch had faded, and it was then I noticed he'd left the shop, leaving the shopkeeper staring rather blankly at the pile of notes before him. My eyebrows shot up. That was far more than five pounds eighteen. Did he know he'd paid a good five times the amount he was actually supposed to? I spun round. Wait, where was he? Had he run away from me? The thought made me want to grin. He was feeling shy, that's what it was. He didn't want to see my reaction to what he'd done so he'd left the shop before I could say anymore. Honestly, I didn't even know how I felt about it. It was if he'd kissed me, as opposed to something as small as putting his hand on my shoulder. Okay, woah! I couldn't really imagine Kougu even having the confidence to put his face anywhere near anyone else's, never mind mine. He'd think I was going to bite him, or something. Okay, the mental picture didn't make me feel as sick as I would have liked, but the thought didn't exactly appeal to me. I looked around, jumping slightly as I realised Kougu was in fact stood not too far away from me, once again staring into space – or in this case, the shop walls. Had he been there all along? I took a deep breath, finding that my eyes couldn't meet his. I couldn't find anything else to say to him. Why was I suddenly so...nervous? No, it wasn't nerves. Surely it wasn't nerves. Come on, I wasn't nervous around him when he'd just stabbed someone, but I was nervous when he put his hand on my shoulder? Puh-lease! “Right then! Erm...” I looked at the shop keeper, who was only now just slipping the notes into a plastic bag containing his other pound notes, although he still seemed to be wondering why he'd received them in the first place. Hadn't Kougu told him? “Right, erm... shall we go?” I said a little dramatically and, without waiting for a reply, I brushed past him, shooting the shop keeper a sweet smile before stepping out the shop. I couldn't stand staying in that place a minute longer.