Polo and Dreameh's VERY short RP. For real this time. (Mature)

Sloan allowed Dane to kiss his face, rather enjoying the attention, and just grinned to himself at his boyfriend's reply. He didn't know what had happened in the past few months of their relationship, but given the way Dane was behaving, he knew it couldn't have been all bad.
Once Dane was lying back on the bed, apparently tired out from all the kissing, he looked up at Sloan and said with a swagger, "Now get down here and kiss me again. I think I've worked hard enough after all this time, right?"
"Don't tell me what to do." Sloan retorted stubbornly, "I'll kiss you when I'm good and ready, thanks."
Just to make a point, he sat up, and folded his arms across his chest. He sat like that for a few moments, stubbornly determined, then finally turned back to Dane.
"Okay," He agreed with mock reluctance, "Now I'll kiss you."
Grinning, he leaned down and gave Dane a passionate kiss, sliding a hand around through Dane's hair to cradle his head, and lift it into the kiss. His eyes closed as he lost himself in a rush of fierce affection and longing.
It was funny, Dane was a better kisser than he remembered... And in fact, since the moment he had woken up, he had been oddly aware of the fact that he was more attached to Dane than he thought he ought to be. Like with the proposal... That should have freaked him out completely, but it didn't, because although he had lost his memories, Sloan's feelings had not budged an inch.
Distracted by his thoughts, he broke the kiss, and found himself just staring into Dane's eyes, searching for answers.
What am I missing...? What do you have in your mind that I don't...?
"I'm not going to ask where you learned to kiss like that." Sloan teased, grinning, "You been practicing or something?"
This was obviously a joke, but some small, insecure part of him still wondered if Dane had perhaps had somebody else in his life during his absence. He knew that it was not true, because he knew deep down that he had been there... But the fact that he couldn't remember it meant that his self from the last few months was more like a stranger; and the fact that that stranger had been with Dane for so long made him angry. Even though it was him, it felt as though Dane had been loving somebody else.
God, it's just as well I don't say these thoughts out loud. People would think I'm nuts. Then again... Maybe I am? I don't even know any more.

"Don't tell me what to do." Sloan replied stubbornly, and Dane just raised an eyebrow at him. "I'll kiss you when I'm good and ready, thanks."
That was fine. Dane knew how to make himself look irrisistable, anyway. Obviously, he knew how to trigger the cute, fluffy side to his boyfriend in a heartbeat. This would be no problem.
He folded both his arms behind his head and shuffled deeper into the mattress. His patience was as good, if not better, than Sloan's. All he needed to do now was put on his cutest face, maybe pout a little, and he'd get what he wanted. It had worked before, right?
Moments passed, the two just started defiantly at one another, until finally Sloan gave in.
Dane smirked at his statement, like he'd decided to kiss him off his own accord.
He accepted the kiss smugly, allowing his face to be cradled and petted like a spoilt cat, waltzing his tongue around Sloan's mouth like he'd been doing it his whole life, and he barely had to think about it. His eyes slipped closed in the enjoyment of the feeling he'd missed for far too long, and he had to drag himself away from Sloan's lips when the man started to talk to listen to his words. He nearly attempted to swallow Sloan's words and keep kissing him, but seen as his boyfriend hadn't long since been out of a hospital he decided it wasn't worth the risk of upsetting him.
"I'm not going to ask where you learned to kiss like that. You been practicing or something?" Dane chuckled at this, although he couldn't help but wonder why Sloan had pointed it out. Had he ever been a 'bad' kisser? He hadn't even noticed that he'd got better, either.
"Nah," He replied quietly, one side of his mouth pulling into a lob-sided smile. "I was taught by the best." He winked.
There was definitely something missing. He had been 'forward-going' for a long time, a very long time, or at least confident. In fact, Dane could hardly remember the last time he'd been extremely shy around his boyfriend, especially since they'd been engaged.
Exactly how much had Sloan forgotten? Did he still think they hadn't reached second-base yet?
"Sloan?" He asked curiously, leaning up on one elbow. "What's the last thing you remember about us? Like, what's the last memory you have?"

"My last memory?" Sloan asked, considering this thoughtfully, "Honestly, I don't know. It's not like a book that has a distinct end..." He paused, looking faintly confused, "I just... I remember you, us, and us being together... But I know there's something missing." He shook his head, frowning, and went on, "I remember America... And the incident with Theo." His jaw clenched, "And recently, I... I've been remembering snippets from here and there, but it's strange, because they just don't tie together. Like now that I'm here," He looked around the house, "I remember being here, and I feel like I've lived here a long time, but it makes no sense to me, because I can't for the life of me remember how or why I ended up here..." Sloan sighed, and added miserably, "Amnesia is really shitty, Dane, I'll tell you that. It's like a stranger has been living the last few months - or however long it's been - of my life..." He shuddered dramatically, then added with an awkward chuckle, "Oopsy, I told myself I wouldn't say that one out loud... But you already know I'm nuts, right, so what's the harm?"
He flashed Dane a strange grin, joking, but also oddly bitter, since at that time his sanity was still something of a sensitive issue, after the doctors had challenged it in the hospital.
He sighed suddenly, and his expression sobered as he added quietly, "Just what have I missed, Dane? At this point, I... I'm really desperate to know..." His eyes searched his boyfriend's longingly, "It's just... It's really disconcerting to me..." He reached up, laying a palm gently against Dane's cheek, and stared at him in sheer wonder, "I love you right now. Not like I did before, but..." He shook his head nervously, "Unconditionally. Irrevocably. Last I remember, I was still just coming to terms with the fact that I loved you, but now... Now I'm ready to go against everything I stand for and marry the f*ck out of you without a second thought. Why the hell is that? 'Cause I just don't get it." He swallowed, falling silent for a moment, then added quietly, "I'm sorry, I know that makes me sound like a real dick, but..." He cupped Dane's face in his hands, "I really do love you with all my heart. I just want you to understand... Hell, I just want me to understand!"

Frowning, Dane's eyes sobered up as he listened to his boyfriend's story, not the slightest bit freaked out by what he was saying. Sloan had said many disturbing things, most of which he'd now forgotten, so Dane learned not to be bothered by any of it anymore. (( ))
"Amnesia is really shitty, Dane, I'll tell you that. It's like a stranger has been living the last few months - or however long it's been - of my life... Oopsy, I told myself I wouldn't say that one out loud... But you already know I'm nuts, right, so what's the harm?"
Dane shook his head as the man continued. He wasn't nuts. Dane knew the man always thought he was, but, considering what he'd been through, he was pretty damned sane compared to most people. Hadn't Sloan mentioned before that the other person who'd survived the kidnapping along with him and Tony had committed suicide?
"Just what have I missed, Dane? "
Dane sat up, warming his boyfriend's hand on his cheek with his other hand, caressing the hairs on the back with his fingertips. He couldn't relate to what Sloan was saying, but he thought he understood, at least. His mind tried to cast back to everything that had happened since before Dart's death, but he couldn't think of anything important. There had to be something, hadn't there?
Sloan kept speaking, but Dane was too busy thinking back to all the wonderful times his boyfriend had forgotten. So he definitely remembered Theo... But he probably didn't remember beating him up on the street, or bumping into him at that 'black tie' party, or getting beaten half to death on the street corner...
Come to think of it, there were a lot of things Sloan wouldn't remember, but maybe that wasn't such a bad thing.
"I'm sorry, I know that makes me sound like a real dick, but... I really do love you with all my heart. I just want you to understand... Hell, I just want me to understand!"
Dane nodded seriously, running his hands through Sloan's thick hair. "I understand fine, mate. I really do." He bowed his head and pecked Sloan's lips gently. "These things will take time to go back to normal, and until then, you'll always have me." He cooed, pressing their brows together. "Hell, you'll have be after too. But... You know what I mean." He waved it off with a flick of his hand, then, leaning back on his palm, he inhaled a long breath.
"Let me think..." He murmured, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Well, you've missed seeing me naked, for one. I even shaved my tummy hair for you, and all." He snickered. "You might have missed he embarrassing underwear incident, but we won't go into that."
He pondered for a while, then his eyes widened as if a light bulb had gone off in his head.
"You're Dad stayed for a night or two."
I'll leave out the fact that the kidnappers took you and your childhood nightmare tried to abuse you again... And you killed him.

Sloan was grateful for Dane's reassurance, and much to his surprise, it actually calmed him slightly, and left him feeling at peace once more. Things would go back to normal. In time, he knew they would... Already snippets of his memory were coming back to him, and gradually, he was beginning to make sense of it all. It would happen. In time, it would...
He was jerked out of his thoughts as Dane began going through what he'd missed, and suddenly, his eyes widened.
"I missed seeing you naked?!" He asked incredulously, "Aw, man! Seriously, I close my eyes for one minute and miss all the good stuff!" He laughed, grinning in amusement to himself. Somehow, even the idea of seeing Dane naked - though he didn't remember it happening - made him rather cheerful. Then Dane mentioned the underwear incident, and Sloan's grin darkened. "Ah, yes..." He murmured, "That I remember."
He would have mocked his boyfriend a little, but then Dane went serious for a moment, eyes widening in comprehension. Sloan raised his eyebrows questioningly.
"Your Dad stayed for a night or two."
"My..." He frowned in confusion, "But he's..." He was going to say 'dead', but somehow, he knew that his father was alive. Even if he didn't remember finding out, he still... Knew.
"Right." He murmured, rolling off Dane to lie on his back beside him, since his arms were starting to get tired. "Right... He's alive, isn't he?"
And Dart isn't...
He sighed sadly at the thought, but no sudden panic gripped him like it had before. He knew that it was true... He had known all along, really. He just... Didn't quite remember it happening, so he had chosen to deny it instead.
Sloan took a moment to think, running over the memories of when his Dad had come to stay. Yeah, he remembered... The memories were sloppy and disjointed, but they were there... Something else had happened afterwards, too. Something bad. Something that had changed him...
He shuddered when he reached this conclusion, and suddenly shied away from his shaky memory, too timid to poke around any more for fear of what he might find.
Instead, he turned his attention to the present, and rolled onto his side so he was facing Dane.
"So," He said, looking at his boyfriend seriously, "This whole 'naked' thing, was that a one time deal or what?"

Dane was huffing to himself as Sloan muttered thoughtfully, cursing at the fact Sloan couldn't remember a lot of traumatising things in his life but he could remember Dane's stupid horny underpants. Out of all the things... Sloan had to have remembered that?
He snickered to himself, then watched his boyfriend process the shock of finding out his father was alive. He seemed to deal with it pretty well, although several emotions did flicker in his eyes, but he didn't seem to want to push on the subject, so Dane didn't mention anymore.
He was about to attempt to recover some other things that had happened since the Theo incident, but Sloan was only interested in one thing.
"This whole 'naked' thing, was that a one time deal or what?"
Dane blinked at him for a moment, then his face split into a wide grin. Out of all the things he's told his boyfriend, that was the one that stuck?
"Nah..." He shook his head thoughtfully, then added with a straight face, "It was pretty frequent." He bit his lip innocently for a while, then added with a cheeky grin, "So was the sex."

"Nah... It was pretty frequent." Dane replied seriously, and Sloan raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly. "Damn, future me is a player." He joked, grinning. But then, Dane said something that wiped the grin abruptly off his face.
"So was the sex."
Sex? Was he kidding? They'd had sex, and he had missed it?! He couldn't believe that! The Dane he remembered would never-
But wait... This isn't the Dane I remember...
He swallowed, staying silent as he took a moment to process this information.
"You... We..." He stammered weakly, "Had sex...?"
Frequently.
He looked away, his expression unreadable as he struggled to work through this information in his mind. He wondered how he had felt about that... About having sex with a man, given the issues in his childhood.
"My little Daney's not a virgin any more?" He asked, sounding almost as though he wanted to laugh or cry - though it was hard to tell which. "Damn..." He muttered, shaking his head, "Dane, you whore." He cast his boyfriend a teasing smile, but it didn't quite hide how shaken he was by this news. He wasn't sure if he was okay with this... It was like finding out that somebody else had slept with Dane before he did...
"If I ever meet the bloke who f*cked you, I'm pretty sure I'll have him gelded." He announced with a weak chuckle, "Better not let me near any mirrors for a while."
He was joking, of course, but he still looked faintly upset by this news, which was ironic, really, given that this was what he had wanted. Still, although it was uncharacteristically soft for him, he couldn't help but feel miserable about the fact that he had basically missed one of the major milestones in his relationship. He hated to admit it, but... It hurt a little.
"This is a little shocking." He admitted quietly, "I'm not sure if I'm okay with this..."

Dane was expecting a shocked expression on Sloan's face, and he chose to sit back and enjoy it, even when Sloan started to look fairly uncomfortable at the idea that they were now at such an 'official' stage in their relationship. In all fairness it had been Sloan's idea in the first place. He'd wanted to see Dane naked, he'd wanted to have sex, and in time Dane had begun to agree with him.
Now Dane was completely comfortable with the idea, yet Sloan had now decided the prospect was terrifying? Dane couldn't help but find this amusing.
"My little Daney's not a virgin any more? Damn... Dane, you whore." He teased, although he still seemed rather worried at this news. Dane just chuckled at his reaction.
"If I ever meet the bloke who f*cked you, I'm pretty sure I'll have him gelded. Better not let me near any mirrors for a while."
Grinning, Dane raised a hand and ruffed the man's hair fondly, then pecked him on the brow. "Yeah... Don't worry, I'll make sure I hog them for a bit. You can look at my face instead." He chuckled.
"This is a little shocking. I'm not sure if I'm okay with this..."
Despite the evident worry in Sloan's eyes, Dane couldn't help but smirk at him in vague amusement. He shook his head and cupped Sloan's face gently in his palms, caressing one cheek with his thumb. "Lighten up, mate!" He jeered, patting Sloan's cheek, sticking out his tongue in a cheeky fashion. "Sloan, you accepted your dead father is alive in a heartbeat, but you're shocked to find you've since had sex with your boyfriend?" He shook his head in amusement, then the smile sank from his face to be replaced with a comically serious expression. "Heaven forbid."
Snickering, he leant back on the mattress and crossed his legs over coolly. "Sloan, it will come back, as will everything else." He turned on his side and gazed right into his boyfriend's eyes, then casually played with the seam on his shirt, tugging it suggestively upwards. "But until then, I'll happily help to re-jog your memory."

Sloan was not entirely pleased when Dane continued to act in such a lighthearted fashion, but he tried not to let himself get too frustrated. That wouldn't help anybody, after all. He ignored Dane's order to 'lighten up', but he couldn't help but smile when his boyfriend added, "Sloan, you accepted your dead father is alive in a heartbeat, but you're shocked to find you've since had sex with your boyfriend? Heaven forbid."
"Dane," He objected patiently, "You're forgetting that I'm a crazy person." Dane snickered, and Sloan offered a reluctant grin. Then his boyfriend lay down beside him, and as Dane looked into his eyes, Sloan felt himself quieten to the deepest parts of his soul. He lost himself in Dane's eyes, slowly letting himself relax again as the man murmured, "Sloan, it will come back, as will everything else." Dane began toying with the seam of his shirt, a flirtatious expression on his face, "But until then, I'll happily help to re-jog your memory."
"Shit." Sloan commented with a subtle laugh, "You're a horny sod, aren't you?" He shook his head in amusement, and gently pushed Dane's fingers away from his shirt. "Look," He said, "Much as I'd like to go through with this, I don't think it's such a great idea... I don't really know where I'm at right now, but I know I'm not in the most..." He paused, "'Stable' state of mind... I just don't want to screw anything up." He reached out and took Dane's hand, stroking it thoughtfully with his thumb.
"Is that okay? 'Cause, I mean, if you really want to..." He shrugged, "I guess I could handle it."
He thought for a moment, then nodded, "I suppose I've done it before, haven't I?"
He was trying to convince himself, but it was still pretty obvious that he was not entirely comfortable with the idea... He supposed he'd rather wait until his memories had returned to him, just in case, somehow, things changed. After all, if he had managed to get his life in order enough to propose to Dane, it must have been pretty f*cking amazing. He wouldn't risk screwing that up.

"Of course I am," Dane retorted, pouting his lower lip in a childish fashion. "Do you know how long it's been since we last had sex? I'm desperate here, mate." He teased, prodding Sloan's hip bone cheekily.
Of course, Dane wasn't an animal. He could control himself. But when he felt Sloan pushing his hand away his face fell slightly. However, he may have been deprived, but he would hold on until Sloan was ready. At least he was being let down gently this time.
"Much as I'd like to go through with this, I don't think it's such a great idea... I don't really know where I'm at right now, but I know I'm not in the most... 'Stable' state of mind... I just don't want to screw anything up."
Dane wanted to put on his sulky face and try and tell the man that try as he might he wouldn't be able to screw anything up, but he decided wisely not to push his luck. Besides, Sloan had only just run away from the hospital. Technically he was still supposed to be in the hospital. Pushing him would be pointless.
"Is that okay? 'Cause, I mean, if you really want to... I guess I could handle it."
Dane shook his head. "No, that's okay. Our sex doesn't really work like that anyway."
"I suppose I've done it before, haven't I?" Sloan replied seriously, and Dane considered him with a curious cock of the head. He couldn't remember if Sloan had just had sex for Dane's benefit instead of his own, but Hell, he'd never asked.
"Not really." He smirked. "Future you would usually tell me to keep it in my pants, or finish whatever I'd started on my own." He chuckled, then sat up on the bed, inhaling a deep sigh.
Then, with a serious nod, his eyes cast downwards towards the uncomfortable tightness around his jeans that hadn't been there a few minutes ago. "I guess it's just you and me, little buddy." He murmured to his crotch with a sorrowful look, then glanced back up at Sloan with a twinkle in his eye to let him know that he was only joking.
"Do you want to see the horses? Or should we leave it for today?" He asked softly, cupping his hand around Sloan's pale cheek.

"Future you would usually tell me to keep it in my pants, or finish whatever I'd started on my own." Dane said with a chuckle, and Sloan couldn't help but snort in amusement, "Yeah," He laughed, that sounds like me alright. Asshole."
Dane sat up, sighing, and Sloan smiled apologetically at him, then followed his gaze downwards as he said to his crotch, "I guess it's just you and me, little buddy."
"Oh, 'little', are we?" Sloan asked teasingly, his eyes sparkling deviously, "Maybe I should give you two some space..."
He made as if to leave, but then Dane cast the jokes aside, and Sloan stilled at the touch on his cheek.
"Do you want to see the horses? Or should we leave it for today?" He asked gently, and Sloan's expression sobered instantly as he blinked knowingly at Dane.
"Not yet." He murmured quietly, "Soon, but... Not yet."
I can't say goodbye to Dart again... It nearly killed me the first time...
He froze when this thought occurred to him, and looked shakily away. He remembered Dart's death, now. He was rather sure that he hadn't before, but now, he did... He remembered winning the event, the call about the colic, and holding Dart's head in his lap while she breathed her last breath.
Sloan swallowed nervously, forcing back the lump in his throat. It had been difficult... But he had worked through it, and his heart, at least, was healed. Nothing could ever fill the void that Dart had left in his life, but... He had learned to move on without her, and he was not turning back now.
"On second thought," He murmured quietly, "Let's go see them. I miss Midnight."
I don't remember Midnight, of course... But I miss him. I know that I miss him.
"How about we go out for a ride?" He suggested, "I haven't been in the saddle since god knows when, and the fresh air will do me good. I need to clear my mind a little..."
He sat up, rubbing his temples with a sigh, and added smilingly, "I'm already feeling loads better now I'm home. I feel more like myself again..." He nodded thoughtfully, "It's good... I think."
I just hope to god that future me has his act together more than I do now...

Dane watched the comprehension dawn on Sloan when Dane mentioned the horses. He'd not had to say anything about her death, because Sloan had already worked it out. He may have had amnesia, but God, he wasn't stupid.
"Not yet. Soon, but... Not yet."
Dane nodded knowingly at him. Of course, he didn't blame Sloan for wanting to avoid mourning for Dart again. It could wait, and in the mean time, Dane would just look after the horses himself.
Sloan, however, seemed to change his mind when something occurred to him, and his eyes lit up when vague memories looked to be coming back to him. He didn't look quite as hopeless as he had a few seconds earlier, and it was enough to warm Dane's heart with hope. If the mention of things was enough to jog Sloan's memory, maybe it wouldn't take him long to fill in the gaps on his own.
"On second thought, let's go see them. I miss Midnight." The mention of his newest horse made Dane smile. Sloan had done that on his own. "How about we go out for a ride? I haven't been in the saddle since god knows when, and the fresh air will do me good. I need to clear my mind a little..."
Dane's smile faltered at this. Of course Sloan hadn't ridden in a while, but what if he'd forgotten how to do it properly? What if he passed out again? His mental health at that moment was already up and down, and the last time he'd ridden he'd passed out and Dane had to carry him home. Was it worth the risk?
""I'm already feeling loads better now I'm home. I feel more like myself again... It's good... I think."
"Well, baring in mind we had this conversation about half an hour ago and I told you i wouldn't let you ride..." Dane raised an eyebrow, then sat up and wrapped an arm around Sloan's shoulders protectively. "But, since you've put it like that, I guess... Well, it won't hurt to try, will it?" He sighed, then rubbed his dry eyes stressfully. "Alright. But we're only walking. And if anything happens to you I'm not letting you on another horse for at least a week. Got it?"
He thought for a moment, then nodded as if to confirm to himself that it was the right thing to do. Then, inhaling a sharp breath, he stood up from the bed and offered Sloan his hand, his engagement ring glistening from a ray of sunlight that escaped from a gap in the curtains.
"Right. Let's go meet the horses."

Dane didn't introduce Midnight first. In fact he went through every horse there - including Archie - recalling different memories he thought Sloan might have with them, feeding each of them a small titbit as he went.
By the time they'd arrived outside Midnight's stable, Dane was done talking. He stood a few paces back from the stable door, and gestured towards the familiar sound of angry, stomping hooves on the stable floor and the odd irritated kick at the lower half of the stable door that could only be associated with Midnight.
"This is your latest project horse." Dane jumped as the door rattled again at the impact of the blow that came as he spoke. "You haven't backed him yet. It's taken long enough for you to earn his trust, but last I remember you'd grown quite a bond with him."

Sloan just rolled his eyes at Dane's protectiveness, shooting him a weary glance as if to say, 'you worry too much'. When he felt his boyfriend's arm around his shoulders, he patted it reassuringly, and bent his head to gently kiss Dane's muscular forearm. Dane finally seemed to change his mind, and at last he went Along with Sloan's suggestion. "Alright." He finally agreed, "But we're only walking. And if anything happens to you I'm not letting you on another horse for at least a week. Got it?"
"Yes mother." Sloan teased, shooting Dane a goofy grin back over his shoulder, "I'll be fine, mate. I'm not hurt any more, and I've been riding all my life. There's no problem."
Then again, I've been writing my name all my life too - and I sure as hell can't do that now...
Luckily, he decided not to voice this thought, and within a moment Dane was standing in front of him, offering a hand to help him up. Sloan stared down at it, and found himself looking at the engagement ring on Dane's finger. He had really outdone himself with that one...
Smiling proudly, Sloan took Dane's hand and hauled himself to his feet. But even once he was standing, he didn't release his boyfriend's fingers from between his own.
"Right." Dane said, "Let's go meet the horses."

So they headed out to the stables, and walked down the stable aisle; meeting each of the horses in turn. Sloan recognized all of them, but he didn't seem to remember anything about them. Everything Dane said made sense, and somehow rang a bell, but though he tried to remember, he just wasn't quite there yet.
When they reached Midnight's stall, however, it was a different story entirely.
Sloan stepped back in surprise when the stallion charged viciously at the door, but when he saw his owner, his ears perked forwards, and he nickered softly.
Breath catching in his throat, Sloan stepped forwards, and laid a hand gently on the beast's muzzle. Dane was talking in the background, but he wasn't listening. Not any more.
"He looks..." He murmured softly, "Just like her..."
It was obvious who he meant.

For a long moment, man and horse stood silently, a half-forgotten bond holding them nervously together. Sloan seemed to ignore Dane as he stood there with Midnight, growing frustrated as half-finished memories of the horse accosted him. They were broken and disjointed and made no sense, but as soon as Sloan felt his anger start to rise, Midnight's ears shot back, and he snapped his jaws at Sloan with an angry squeal. Teeth sunk savagely into his arm, and he jumped back with a help of surprise while Midnight darted to the back of his stall, snorting sulkily.
Stunned, Sloan rubbed his sore arm, then said quietly, "Alright. I'll ride him. Where's his tack?"
There was a sense of determination in his voice that warned Dane not to challenge his decision. He would do this, and by god, this time he would succeed!

Dane's words slowed to a halt when he watched his boyfriend slowly approach the horse, apparently baffled by the resemblance to Dart. Dane knew Sloan wasn't listening to him anymore, so he stood far back with his hands in his jacket pockets and his face set in an unreadable expression.
They stood for a long time in silence, just enjoying each other's company, until finally Midnight seemed to have had enough and swung his teeth in Sloan's direction, digging his teeth right into Sloan's arm. Dane winced at the sight of it, but he did not make any attempt to move. Being cruel was just one of Midnight's traits, and Sloan would have to relearn what he was like if he wanted to remember any more about him.
Then, Sloan said something that made Dane's eyes widen in horror.
"Alright. I'll ride him. Where's his tack?"
"Are you out of your mind?" Dane replied quickly, then he caught the bold determination in Sloan's voice - a few seconds too late - and he shook his head in disbelief. Did Sloan seriously want to risk backing such a crazy animal when he'd just got out of hospital?
"Didn't you hear me before?" Of course not. "Sloan, he hasn't even been backed yet. Don't you get that? He's never been ridden. Ever. Good reason, too. I'm not letting you hurt yourself again. You're still meant to be in hospital, remember?"
Dane ran his hand through his hair stressfully, exhaling a sigh. "Can't we just go on a relaxing walk up one of the bridle paths? And wait a few days for you to get better before you try and cling onto a horse that'll end up trying to kill you?"

Sloan only half-listened to Dane's complaints, scratching his chin in a distracted fashion and honestly looking none too interested by what his boyfriend had to say. He remained silent, though, and heard him out to the end. At last, Dane ran a hand through his hair, looking highly stressed, and pleaded, "Can't we just go on a relaxing walk up one of the bridle paths? And wait a few days for you to get better before you try and cling onto a horse that'll end up trying to kill you?"
Sloan smiled unconcernedly at Dane, and ruffled his hair in a teasing fashion as he said, "Come on buddy, what's the worst that can happen? I end up eating dirt and bruising my ass?" He winked, "I'm not letting you near it any time soon, anyway."
He flashed a devious grin, and shoved his boyfriend's face playfully aside as he pushed past, heading toward the tack room.
"Come show me which tack is Midnight's." He ordered firmly, "It'll be fine, you'll see. As you said, we're just walking, and if I'm going to back him, I have to start somewhere..."
He vanished into the tack room, and soon located Midnight's tack beneath a hook with his name on it. Sloan quickly gathered it, and carried it out into the stable aisle, slinging the saddle over Midnight's door.
Humming casually to himself, he hoisted the stallion's bridle over his shoulder and let himself into the stall. He didn't seem to notice the way Midnight was cowering in the corner, watching him with a ferocity that bordered on madness. The stallion was sensitive, and he could sense that something about Sloan was not the same. Sloan, for his part, just assumed that his horse always acted that way...
But as Sloan approached with the bridle, Midnight's ears flattened, and he began pawing the ground, looking to Sloan with murder in his eyes.
His great teeth gnashed angrily, but still Sloan continued forward, not heeding the horse's warnings as he ought to.

Dane was horrified at Sloan's attitude to the situation. "Come on buddy, what's the worst that can happen? I end up eating dirt and bruising my ass?"
"No," Dane snapped. "You d-"
"I'm not letting you near it any time soon, anyway."
"This isn't funny, Sloan!" He growled, having to jog after his boyfriend as he strode confidently to the tack room. Dane silently cursed himself for showing the man where it was in the first place.
"Come show me which tack is Midnight's." Sloan ordered firmly, an before Dane could refuse he continued, "It'll be fine, you'll see. As you said, we're just walking, and if I'm going to back him, I have to start somewhere..."
"Are you f*cking crazy?" Dane snapped once more, watching with horror as Sloan armed himself with the tack and strolled back towards Midnight's as if he didn't have a care in the world.
He clenched his fists with fury. No way was this happening... Funny, not long ago he'd told Sloan he wasn't going to get on a horse just yet, and here he was, about to tack up the last horse Dane would let him ride anyway.
Once Sloan had slung the saddle over the door and entered the stable with the bridle on his shoulder, Dane decided he'd seen enough. Midnight was beside himself, and if Sloan made any sudden movements he'd be pinned to the floor in no time. Since he wasn't even wearing a hat yet, Dane wasn't prepared to watch him take another beating and risk his life over his own stupidity.
He picked up the saddle and propped it up against the wall far away from the stable, then jogged back in and entered the stable with considerably more caution than Sloan was.
"Sloan, give me the bridle. Now." He ordered, opening his hand out in an intimidating fashion. When the bridle didn't appear there, he reached over Sloan's shoulder and snatched it from him. In the corner of his eye he saw Midnight flinch.
"If you try and get any closer to him with this, he'll kill you. He's scared enough as it is." He nodded towards the trembling horse, taking note of it's hoof scraping threateningly at the ground.
"Sloan, get out and go tack up Goldrush before you do something stupid." Dane snapped, throwing the bridle unceremoniously over the door. So what if it got muddy? Better than having a terrified horse trample his boyfriend to death.

Sloan continued to ignore Dane, and approached his furious stallion with a string of encouraging murmurs flowing from his lips. He had almost reached Midnight, when Dane suddenly appeared in the stable behind him, and ordered firmly, "Sloan, give me the bridle. Now." "Hang on." Sloan shot back irritably, "Just let me-"
He broke off when Dane snatched the bridle off his shoulder, and as he whirled around, Midnight spooked at the sudden movement, grunting and shaking his head savagely. Sloan cast a cautious glance at the horse, and took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. "Dane," He said firmly, "Give it back."
"If you try and get any closer to him with this, he'll kill you. He's scared enough as it is." Dane retorted, nodding toward Midnight, who did indeed look ready to kill, "Sloan, get out and go tack up Goldrush before you do something stupid."
"What the f*ck!" He snapped angrily, temper instantly flaring out of his control as his unstable emotions took control, "Goddammit, Dane, for once in your life can't you just believe-" He broke off at the sudden sound of a furious squeal behind him, and wheeled around to see Midnight - eyes rolling in fright and anger - plunge savagely toward him. The stallion's shoulder struck him a mighty blow to the chest, bowling him over into the wall, and Sloan grunted in pain as he felt himself slammed into the bricks, winded.
For a moment he was dazed, but then he saw the frenzied stallion spin on its hocks, and charge at Dane with a vicious shake of its head.
"HEY!" Sloan bellowed, shoving himself off the wall to stagger dizzily into the path of the stallion, blocking it from knocking into Dane. He threw his arms out, and shouted angrily, "Get BACK!"
Midnight grunted, sliding to a halt so quickly that his hocks nearly touched the ground, but the fire in his eyes did not die. Shaking his head furiously, he gave a threatening squeal, then threw himself up onto his hind legs, forelegs lashing murderously at the people before him.
"BACK!" Sloan repeated, throwing his arms aggressively at the horse in an attempt to scare it away, "Get the f*ck away from me!" Midnight's hoof narrowly missed his head when he touched back down, and just as the stallion threatened to charge him, Sloan lunged forwards, and smacked the animal roughly across the muzzle with all the strength he had in him.
Midnight squealed and threw his head up, eyes rolling in pained fear, and Sloan took the opportunity to grab Dane's arm and tug him roughly out of the stall, slamming the door shut behind him.

He leaned shakily against the wall for a few long moments, trying to catch his breath, until finally the ramifications of what he had done sunk in. That murderous animal was his horse, and he had just beaten the poor creature with everything he had. The vicious taste of bile rose in his throat, and Sloan swallowed it quickly as his weak knees forced him to sink to the ground.
What the hell am I...?
He had never laid a hand on a horse before. To treat his own animal in such a manner was unforgivable... Midnight would probably be headshy for life after a blow like that.
When did I become so violent? So out of control...? Who am I going to hurt next...?

The minute Sloan reacted to Dane's sharp movement, Dane realised his first mistake. Midnight freaked out completely, and Sloan, obviously not knowing the horse as well as he thought he did, thought waving his arms and making a scene would be enough to scare the traumatised stallion into the corner. However, Midnight had already felt threatened by the sight of the tack, and a few sharp words wouldn't be enough this time.
The horse before him moved so quickly and slowly at the same time that Dane couldn't grasp what was going on any more. At times it was like his feet were glued to the floor, and he could do nothing but watch the events unfold before him.
In fact, he didn't jump into action until the enormous black beast charged at him, feet flaring, and the next thing Dane knew, Sloan was in front of him.
He didn't have time to thank the man, because in one swift blow, Midnight finally cowered away, his muzzle twitching from the stinging pain Sloan's palm had probably caused him. The next thing Dane knew he was being tugged out of the stable, and the weight of the past minute or so finally hit him.
He took a few deep breaths to let the shock subside, but Sloan took it harder than he did, and sank to the floor with his head in his hands. Dane frowned at him and stood there for a long while, waiting for Sloan to calm down and get up again, but he didn't. Sighing, Dane leant his back against the wall and propped one foot up on a slanted brick as his eyes skimmed the beautiful countryside scenery around them.
"I'm not going to say 'I told you so'." He murmured, as if his point hadn't already been proven. "But do you see what I mean now?" He glanced down and noticed the unusual paleness to Sloan's complexion, and he realised that the fact Midnight would be ridden for a while was not the reason he looked so horrified.
Clicking his tongue thoughtfully Dane placed a hand on Sloan's head in a gentle fashion. "Don't feel bad, mate. He was going to kill us if neither of us had done something."

"I'm not going to say 'I told you so', but do you see what I mean now?" Dane murmured, and Sloan felt the fury in his chest raise its ugly head, enraged by those condescending words. He growled irritably in response, and when he felt Dane's hand on his head, he fliched away, shrugging it off angrily.
"Don't feel bad, mate." Dane consoled gently, "He was going to kill us if neither of us had done something."
"I don't feel bad." He snarled, glaring at the floor, "I had to do it. But if you had just left me alone..." He shot Dane a withering glare, "Then I wouldn't have been forced to traumatize my f*cking horse."
He stood abruptly and shouldered past Dane, forcing his way back into the tack room. He was seething with fury now; not with Dane, of course, but with himself. He was upset, so he was taking it out on his boyfriend like a f*cking coward, and that was not okay. He felt like shit, but he just couldn't help himself... In the state he was in, everything was just so frustrating, and his actions and emotions were so hard to control. He felt like a hurricane, destroying everything in his path. He just wished that things could be back to normal...

Too proud and irritable to apologize, Sloan gathered Gold's tack and stormed back out of the tack room, stomping grumpily over to Gold's stable. He tacked up the gelding in stony silence, and the placid Gold watched him with a nervous, kind eye as he worked. He managed to pull the bridle over the gelding's ears, but when it came to buckling up the noseband, Sloan's fingers just fumbled clumsily with the leather. He simply didn't have the dexterity to tackle such a fiddly task. The leather just kept slipping out of his grasp, and he couldn't even thread the end through the buckle.
Still, he kept on trying, getting more and more frustrated by the minute, until his face was beet red from fury.
He battled on while his frustration built, until finally it overflowed and Sloan spun around with a roar of anger. He slammed his fist hard into the wall; once, twice, thrice, until finally the pain of crushing bones and tearing skin called him back to reality. Breathing heavily, he snatched his bleeding fist to his chest and cradled it there, resting his forehead against the stable wall while his shoulders shook with ebbing fury, and Goldrush cowered nervously away from him.

Dane's hand hovered uncertainly as Sloan flinched his head away, his eyebrows knitting together. Had he hit a nerve? Probably, but that was no reason to push him aw-
"I don't feel bad."
He stood awkwardly for a moment, then murmured, "Oh..."
""I had to do it. But if you had just left me alone..." The look Dane was met with was cold enough to turn the sun to stone. "Then I wouldn't have been forced to traumatize my f*cking horse."
Dane's hand hovered for a moment longer, then it dropped to his side. That last line had hurt. And when Sloan stood up abrubtly and shoved passed Dane without a second glance, Dane felt his whole body twist at the impact, and he had to take a step back to recover. Sloan had never done that to him before, at least, from what he could remember. In fact, Sloan had never tried to lay a finger on him before...
His shoulder burned from the negative touch, even though the pain had long since disappeared. It wasn't his fault Sloan had hit that horse, Midnight had charged at them and he had to be stopped somehow. He stood there for a long while, still too bothered to move, when sense kicked in and he picked up Midnight's tack and shakily carried it away to the tack room to be untouched for another week or so.
It was then when he heard the angry roar coming from Goldie's stable that he realised something was wrong, and he ran out to the stable with a wild look in his eye. By the time he'd reached the stable, however, it was too late. Sloan wasn't unconscious and bleeding on the floor, but he'd smashed his hand up pretty badly. Dane entered the stable, his eyes flicking to poor Goldrush in the corner, then to Sloan, who was cradling a bloody hand to his chest.
Dane shook his head in disbelief, scanning the swollen fist attached to his boyfriend, and took a cautious step forwards.
Sloan was shaking still, and Dane would have been lying if he'd said he wasn't nervous of the man, but he wasn't just going to stand there and let him hurt himself again. He offered his hand, inviting Sloan to approach him, then murmured "Come on, mate. Lets get that sorted out."

Sloan had not been in the stable long when Dane rushed in to see what had happened. Clutching his fist to his chest, he shot his boyfriend a sharp look, daring him to say anything about it. Instead, Dane just offered him a gentle hand, and murmured. "Come on, mate. Lets get that sorted out."
"No." He shook out his fist, and dropped it back to his side, ignoring the blood welling at his skinned knuckles, and dripping from his fingertips. "It's fine. Let's ride." He nodded toward Gold, and added with more aggression than he had intended, "Help me tack up."
He hated saying those words. They made him feel useless and pathetic... To ask for help with something so simple just seemed so weak, but the harsh reality was, he couldn't do it alone. At least, with the injured hand, he had an excuse.
Guilt welled powerfully in his chest when his conscience reminded him of how he had treated Dane, but Sloan was still too proud to apologize, so he grunted irritably and turned away, glaring at the wall.
I have to get it together. I have to stop taking this out on Dane, or I'm going to lose him... I love this guy, the last thing I want to do is hurt him, so why do I keep doing it...? Why can't I stop...?
"Sorry." He managed at last, his voice barely coherent. He offered no explanation, and instead just asked quietly, "Is Gold ready? I just need to get in the saddle now." He shuddered, shaking his head, "Right now."

Dane's expression hardened at Sloan's stubborn response, and his jaw tensed defiantly. He wasn't going to be ordered around like a f*cking slave, and he was not Sloan's punch bag either.
"Help me tack up."
Dane took one glance back at Goldrush, then back to Sloan's bruised, swelling fist that was trembling by his side. No way was he letting Sloan get on a horse with a wound like that, not to mention his temper. He shook his head quietly.
After a while Sloan seemed to notice that he was acting out of line and apologised, but that wasn't what Dane wanted. He wanted Sloan to calm down and let him help. Not order him around, not tell him everything was okay when it wasn't. Just relax for a moment, at least.
"Is Gold ready? I just need to get in the saddle now. Right now."
Dane had made no attempt to finish tacking up the gelding, as he was too busy staring intensely at Sloan as if he'd suddenly set on fire. Did he look like a stable hand?
"You're not getting on a horse with that." Dane told him firmly, his eyes narrowing slightly as he gestured to Sloan's bleeding hand. "I won't let you. Sloan, you seriously need to calm down. I know the amnesia has thrown you and all, but right now, you need to get your shit together before you go anywhere near another horse."
He looked away. He was well aware of ho strict he was being, but he'd had enough of Sloan's short temper. The Doctor had warned him about this... But he hadn't realised the extent of it all until he'd watched Sloan strike Midnight's face as hard as he had.
"I get what you're going through is... Overwhelming...." He sighed, and grasped the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. "But I am not your punchbag, Sloan." Face falling, he nodded to Sloan's bloody hand. "That needs tending to. Now, if you don't go back to the house and sort it out, then I'll take you back to the hospital and let them do it for you."

"You're not getting on a horse with that." Dane said firmly, and Sloan wheeled around to snarl at him, "I won't let you. Sloan, you seriously need to calm down. I know the amnesia has thrown you and all, but right now, you need to get your shit together before you go anywhere near another horse." These words struck a hefty blow, and he grunted irritably as he turned away. Why did Dane have to bring that up now? Didn't he feel bad enough already?
"I get what you're going through is... Overwhelming... But I am not your punchbag, Sloan."
He swallowed when he heard these words, staring guiltily at the wall. Dane was right, of course, but everything he said only upset Sloan all the more. And suddenly, he just didn't want to deal with it any more.
"That needs tending to." Dane said, nodding firmly toward Slaon's bloody hand, "Now, if you don't go back to the house and sort it out, then I'll take you back to the hospital and let them do it for you."
At this, he wheeled around, eyes flashing angrily, and fixed Dane with a murderous glare. Who gave Dane the right to treat him like a child?! How dare the one person who still mattered to him make him feel even more f*cking useless than he already did?
Sloan shook his head with angry bewilderment, and shot Dane a glare of pure, smouldering hatred. He had never looked at his boyfriend like that before.
"F*ck you, Dane." He growled quietly, shoving roughly past his boyfriend and letting himself out of the stall. He stormed off down the stable aisle, dripping blood from his clenched fist, and he did not look back. He was angry, and if he didn't get away soon, he knew he would do something that he'd regret.
Breathing heavily, he broke into a jog, and ran straight up to his Jeep, which had thankfully been repaired while he was in hospital. He tried the door, and upon finding it locked, uttered a roar of fury. He slammed his fist into the Jeep, denting the smooth metal, then cursed and spun around, heading back toward the house to get the keys.
He had to get away. He didn't even know where he planned to go yet, but he didn't care... Just so long as it was away!

Dane realised he'd truck a nerve the second their eyes met, and he saw how offended Sloan was. Well... Someone had to say it, didn't they? Dane had told the man he'd have to go to the hospital at some point, and he'd not asked Sloan to punch the wall and hurt himself. Still... Sloan had never looked at him before. It sent a chill down his spine at the coldness in Sloan's icy blue eyes, like he really wanted him to drop dead right then, right there.
It made him wish he could go back in time to hen they were curled up in bed, their limbs knotted together. At least then they hadn't had any weight on either of their shoulders.
"F*ck you, Dane."
Dane flinched at this, and his eyes dropped to the floor. Guilt brought colour to his cheeks and he stuffed his hands miserably in his pockets. He'd hurt his boyfriend's feelings for the second time, but this time Sloan didn't look like he wanted to be around Dane anymore, and he'd never looked like that. Ever.
"Sloan-"
But it was too late. Sloan shoved passed him, completely forgetting about Goldrush and broke into a run. Dane's eyes widened.
What have I done?!
"Sloan!"
The man was either out of audible range or he was ignoring Dane's pleas.
I'm sorry... Dane thought miserably, breaking into a run after his boyfriend. But then, something occurred to him. Why was he apologising? Sloan needed to know when he was out of line, didn't he? He need to learn when to control his feelings and stop taking them out on people, horses or walls. Just because Dane had reminded him of the situation he was in didn't put him in the wrong, did it? Sloan was having trouble with the Jeep, and his hands kept fumbling around with the lock and handle. Dane took this chance to catch up to the man, determination fuelling hims legs to run the length of the car park to the Jeep.
"Sloan, wait!"
The man wheeled round and headed towards the house, but Dane wasn't going to give in this time. He grabbed Sloan's uninjured hand and yanked him around so that were facing each other, than he grasped Sloan's head desperately so Sloan would be forced to look at him.
"Look at me, dammit!" He hissed through gritted teeth. Only once before had he ever been so angry as this, and that was when they'd argued when Sloan had appeared after disappearing for a week whilst mourning over Dart. "Stop running away from the situation, because it'll only follow you. Listen to me... Listen to me! You need to calm down. You're not thinking straight."
Sighing, Dane shook his head. He had to admit he was guilty. Some of those things he shouldn't have said. But surely Sloan had to know the truth behind them?
"I'm sorry. Back there... That was out of line. But d'you get it, now? The amnesia has some side effects. You're going to be angry, and confused, and frustrated... But you need to stop taking it out on everyone, especially yourself."
He grasped Sloan's head, perhaps harder than he intended. He couldn't help it. He wanted his Sloan back.
"Calm... The f*ck... Down."

Sloan heard Dane calling him, but he didn't look back. That is, not until Dane grabbed him by the arm, and wheeled him roughly around. Sloan's lips drew back in an angry snarl, and he looked just about ready to hit Dane when his boyfriend grasped his head and hissed, "Look at me, dammit!"
So he did, and his eyes shot daggers of pure loathing. He really did look ready to kill... And not for the first time.
"Stop running away from the situation, because it'll only follow you. Listen to me... Listen to me! You need to calm down. You're not thinking straight."
"Yeah, I need to calm down." He growled, glaring at Dane, "So get the f*ck off me!"
Dane sighed, shaking his head, and Sloan's fists shook at his sides as he waited with a furiously clenched jaw for Dane to finish.
"I'm sorry. Back there... That was out of line. But d'you get it, now? The amnesia has some side effects. You're going to be angry, and confused, and frustrated... But you need to stop taking it out on everyone, especially yourself." Anger flared up in him, and when Dane grasped his head even tighter, his grip was the only thing keeping Sloan from flashing white with rage.
"Calm... The f*ck... Down."
"Don't you tell me to calm down!" He challenged, teeth flashing in a savage, animalistic fashion as he slapped Dane's hands roughly away from his face.
"You don't know what it's like!" He raged, grabbing Dane by the collar and yanking him so close that their faces nearly touched, "You don't know what I'm going through, so don't even try- Don't you even f*cking try to understand!" He threw Dane away from him, forcing him to stagger back several paces, "Don't you stand there in front of me like a f*cking saint and tell me how to feel and what to do. You don't have a clue-" Sloan shoved him roughly in the chest, "What it's like to be me!"
He was beyond himself with anger now, so utterly furious that he could not even think straight.
"What I 'need'," He snapped, making sarcastic quotation marks with his fingers, "Is not to calm the f*ck down. What I need right now is a smoke, a big old glass of vokda, and something to punch the shit out of."
He jabbed a finger aggressively into Dane's chest, and only then did his mind offer him a small snippet of clarity to see what he was doing. He shook his head like a wounded animal and pulled back his hand, taking a step away from Dane.
"Just give me the f*cking keys." He said, holding out his hand impatiently, "Give them to me and let me go, or I won't be responsible for what I do next." He glared mutinously at Dane, simply unable to conjure the peace of mind to apologize. He paused a moment, then sighed, and looked away. His anger appeared to have lost some of its enthusiasm, and the despair in his voice replaced it as he muttered, "Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to come back here. I'm going to do something that I'll regret, I just know it..." He sighed heavily, shaking his head, "Just give me the keys," He motioned with his fingers, "And I'll go. I'll be back when I'm..." He gestured vaguely with his hand, then shrugged and filled in dully, "Thinking straight..."