Polo and Rock

[[next day i guess]]
Ashlee sat at her table looking around for Kougu,but didn't see him yet.She wondered if he was even coming to school.

((Kay. ))

Kougu wanderedd onto the school grounds with a dazed, sleepless expression. In an uncharacterisic moment of interest in reality, his thoughts jumped to the day before, when he had spoken with that girl... Ashlee? He was somewhat surprized by the fact that he had remembered her name. He seldom remembered anything... He paused for a moment, frowning as he contemplated the matter. Eventually he shrugged it off, confused by his thoughts, and walked on toward the doors. He was probably late again... He wasn't sure. His watch hadn't been working since a few days ago when he had forgotten to take it off before getting into the shower...

Ashlee saw him and jumped up from her seat and walked quickly towards him.She fell into step beside him as he continued walking and said,"Hey what's up?"

"Oh good, you're also here, so I'm not late..." Kougu responded with a slightly relieved smile, seemingly talking more to himself than to her. A moment later he seemed to register her presence, then replied with a more direct, "Good Morning." He offered a brief smile, then glanced away, letting his gaze wander. Yet despite his avoiding her gaze, he was still slightly less tense than the day before.

"So how was your day?"Ashlee asked smiling.

"Normal, I suppose..." Kougu replied quickly. "Um... How was yours?" He asked timidly, adding to the conversation for the first time with a question o his own instead of simply trying to avoid it. This fact puzzled him slightly, but he choseto ignore it. His head would hurt if he thought too much... He didn't like that.

Ashlee smiled,"Went to work then went home,had dinner then went to bed."With a shrug she added, "It's what I do everyday."

"I see..." Kougu replied thoughtfully. He frowned in concentration for a moment, as though trying to work something out, then concluded, "Sounds like a decent plan to me." He glanced briefly at her, then looked away again, dropping his head so his hair fell over his eyes. The dark hair made his pale skin seem even paler by contrast. That, combined with his naturally frail buid and permanent signs of insomnia, have off te impression that he was permanently ill, though he seldom was... It puzzled him slightly, though he was not much bothered by it.

Ashlee took a deep breath then took a jump into the dark,"So are you doing anything tonight?"she asked while glancing up at him.

"Probably not..." Kougu replied, scratching his head thoughtfully. "I seldom have much to do in the evenings." He concluded. He cast her a brief glance, then looked away again, wondering vaguely if he was missing something... He shrugged, dismissing his thoughts, and simply continued walking, allowing himself to remain unconcerned. He was probably just imagining that there had been some sort of change in her expression... He was not much good at reading people anyway.

"Well I have tonight off,so I you want to hang out......"Ashlee said and crossed her fingers that were in her jacket.

Kougu watched her thoughtfully, contemplating her words and trying to decipher the meaning. "I am not sure that I understand..." He admitted honestly, frowning in vague confusion. What exactly did she mean by 'hang out'... And was she asking him a question? He thought she was, but it was hard to tell... He often struggled to work these things out... Probably because he seldom actually interacted with people. Considering that fact, it made sense that he seldom understood their society and way of doing things...

Ashlee laughed softly,"I guess it would kinda be like a date..."she said blushing just a bit.No guy has ever made me blush before and here I am blushing almost after everything I say or he says. Ashlee thought to herself.

"Oh..." Kougu replied quietly, suddenly coming to a standstill. His expression showed something between dawning comprehension, complete shock, and extreme panic. He wasn't sure how he ought to reply to that... He stepped robotically forward again, eyes on his feet, as he attempted to think of a response. It was really quite difficult, since he was not exactly sure how he felt about that... He had never completely understood the concept of dating... "I... I'm not sure would be able to..." Kougu admitted thoughtfully, frowning in concentration as he tried to work it out himself. Would he be able to...? Go on a date...? Him? Probably not... Though regardless of that, it was probably a bad idea anyway. He had decided long ago that he would never forge another bond... It was simply too dangerous. He wouldn't dare...

((I have to go, sorry! Will be back tomorrow! ^_^ ))

Ashlee smiled,"Come on,we'll have fun."she said despite her disappointment from his earlier words.

"N-no... I'ts just... I mean..." Kougu stuttered nervously. He twiddled his thumbs anxiously, determinedly avoiding Ashlee's eyes. How could he explain this... He didn't want to upset her, yet at the same time... It just was not possible... He took a deep breath, calming himself, then raised his head and fixed her with a direct gaze, his earlier timidity seeming to have left him. This was important. "Look, it isn't just you. I can't... date... anybody. It's just too risky... I'm sorry." He explained softly, glancing away awkwardly again as he finished. Of course she would not undestand... But to explain he would need to divulge some of his darkest secrets... He simply would not do that. It hurt just to think about it...

Ashlee gave him a sad smile and shrugged,"It's okay.I guess I'll see you around then."she said as she turned and walked away.Her shoulders were slumped from disappointment,but she kept the smile on her face as she walked into math.

Kougu sighed and hung his head, feeling utterly defeated. As he had expected, she seemed to be under the impression that he was simply trying to get rid of her... Still, troublesome as it was, he knew he had done the right thing. Everybody he had bonded with in the past... They had all died... And there was no denying the fact that it had been his fault. Of course he kept to himself, of course he refused to risk bonding with people... What else was he to do, when everybody he cared about was likely to wind up dead at his hand? He groaned in despair, running his hands through his hair in a gesture of apparent stress. There was no point going in to class now... He would never be able to think anyway, and it was of the utmost importance that he keep his emotions completely under control, else all hell might break loose... He hitched his bag over his shoulder, turned on his heel, and walked the other way. Though he was not sure where he was going, he was sure that he had to get away from there... Already the guilt was setting in. He hadn't wanted to upset her... That was the last thing he had wanted... He just wanted everybody to be safe and happy, yet that wish was so far from possible, it was laughable.

Ashlee went through the rest of the school in a daze.I guess he really just doesn't like me.,she thought sadly,I wonder what I said or did that made him not like me?With a sigh Ashlee put her books in her locker and headed outside to her car.She did her after school routine of running home grabbing a quick snack,changing into her work clothes,then she was off to work.Then at work everything was slow.It was one of those muggy days where you just want to sit in front of an air conditioner,so no one,unless you were crazy,really drank coffee on these days.Ashlee sat at the counter with her phone out playing games on it.My life is boring. she thought.

Kougu wandered the streets aimlessly, never knowing where he was or where he was going. He was calmer now, his thoughts on the correct track, and he was glad of it. He despised the unstable feeling of his thoughts and emotions getting confused and out of control. Kougu continued to walk, vaguely searching for the way back to his house, though of course, to no avail. Finally, as exhaustion started to set in, he paused. Kougu glanced around, and noticed a mall nearby. Something Ashlee had said flashed through his mind, and he shrugged and walked toward it. As he entered, a shudder ran through him, and for a moment panic engulfed him. Public places freaked him out. Though thankfully the mall was rather empty today and, with a steeling breath, Kougu found he was able to move on deeper into the horror of society. Though tense and anxious, Kougu managed to remain sane as he wandered timidly through the place, his dark blue eyes darting around in search of the Starbucks Ashlee had mentioned. Eventually he saw it and began making his way toward it. He saw Ashlee sitting there now, though she was obviously preoccupied. He stepped closer and rapped tentatively on the counter, an awkward smile on his pale, sleep deprived face.

Ashlee looked up,saw Kougu and smiled kinda shyly,"Um,hi."she said.O.M.G!,Ashlee thought siked that he was here but also nervous at the same time.

"Hello." Kougu replied quietly, his dark eyes darting arond briefly to take in his surroundings. Eventually, he turned his attention back to Ashlee. "About earlier..." He began awkwardly, "I just wanted you to know that I really meant what I said..." He muttered softly, dropping his eyes and staring at the ground. "It's nothing about you... It's just... My fate." He glanced up briefly, then immediately looked away again, obviously tense and uncomfortable. He wasn't sure why he had even decided to do this... Not sure what the point was... Perhaps he was just desperate that she believed that what he said was true.

Ashlee sighed then looked away before looking back,"Don't worry about it."She said with a shrug and stood up."So do you want a coffee?"she asked with fake cheer.Walking over to the coffee machine, she went ahead and made herself a coffee.

Kougu glanced away, struggling h the guilt that seemed to permanently follow him around. "Uh... No thanks, I can't drink caffine... And I'd best be going... It's getting late, and I still have to find where I live." He replied in a soft mutter, his eyes still downcast. "Sorry." He murmured softly, then turned and walked away, heading toward the exit.