---Deception--- (Alpha and Deshy :D)

Astraia place the last piece of pizza to her lips when she heard a light thump thump at the door. She pushed herself up of the couch and walked towards the door. She looked through th espy hole, to find Jake stood in the porch. She turned around and pressed her back against the door, her heart pounding through her chest. He was here. Well you shouldnt leave him Outside! the voice shouted inside her head. She forced a smile onto her lips then opened the door. "Hey"

When the door opened i smiled and the light from the inside and the rush of the smell of pizza hit me. Instantly making my stomach hurt slightly with hunger. "Hey, Astraia." I said with a bright smile. I looked into the house finding it empty except for her. "Sorry if I'm over dressed...The girls went nuts" I chuckled and rubbed the back of my neck nervously. "I brought the movies" I said with a smile holding them up. Jesus Jake just tell her your whole life story captain obvious a voice hissed in the back of my mind

Astraia smiled back to him. She stood golding the door open, slightly nervous, though she had no idea why she was feeling so. When he mentioned being overdressed, she looked him up and down, taking in his clothes. Something she had never really seen him in. He did look good in a shirt. She soon found herself staring at his abs. She pushed away from the door, walking closer to him, taking the movies out of his grasp, then headed back inside, leaving Jake to follow. "Dont worry your not over dressed, you look good actually." he voice trailed of as she walked the long hall and into the living area.

[sorry im skypin with my friend xD]
I smiled and handed her the movies. My heart on total overdrive, i could hear it in my ears as she got closer, knowing though it was just a simple meaningless gesture. My body reacted like it was something more and i mentally scolded it with a long sigh as i walked in. Masked by my footsteps. "Thank you. You look really good yourself" I said with a smile and made my way inside.

Astraia nibbled on the last slice of pizza, plonking down onto the sofa. She placed the films on the small coffee table then turned to find Jake still lingering in the hall. "Just treat it like your own place, its only me and you, no univited people are going to prop up" she laughed nervously, then patted the seat next to her, in a way that said, 'come sit next to me.' She crammed the last peice of pizza into her mouth and took a swig of the glass of water. she pulled her legs up onto the couch and entwined them. "So waht film would you like to watch first?"

I smiled sitting down next to her with my piece in hand on a paper plate. With a smile I set down the pizza on the table and brushed off my hands. "Since no one ever decides what they wanna watch, Im gonna do what i did with Jazz when she was younger." I said with a cheeky grin and gently clasped my hands over her eyes. "I promise nothing will happen. Just reach out and pick one" I said with a gentle chuckle

Astraia watched him closely, and when he began to reach around her and put his hands over her eyes, she back away, ducking out from underneath him. She scooted over to the other side of the couch and folded in on herself. She was acting wierd, only because of the day that it was. she had only really invited him here so that she was alone, and had shut herself inside a cupboard, with all windows closed, locked, curtains drawn. Though she thought she would have felt safer with him here, she just couldnt handle being touch right now, not in that way, it brought to vivid memories, playing like they were stuck on repeat. She covered her face with her hands, then suddenly sprag from the seat and dashed into the bathroom downstairs.

She never acted like that. I sat up off the couch a bit more to apologize but she had taken off. Towards the bathroom, i could tell it was the bathroom by the powdery smell that my heightened senses picked up on. Something had happened since i last saw her, I had to know what. Not that I had the right to know. I wouldn't pry it out of her by any means. I would let her tell me on my own, that was just how i was, patient with things like these. As i was thinking i was walking towards where she headed. Then paused when i got to the door, i had walked so quietly and wasnt paying attention to how quickly i had ended up there. I let out a sigh and wanted to speak, but then i paused, she probably wanted to be alone...but then what if she wanted comfort somehow? It's situations like these that are the most conflicting. "Astraia? I-Im sorry if i did something wrong..i didnt know that i would make you feel uncomfortable or anything.." I began apologetically.

Astraia sat in the middle of the bathroom floor, her knees pulled up to her chest, and her face burried into them. Rocking back and forth, the horrid memory of that day still playing in her head. She was about to get up and lock the door, as she remember she had forgot, but then his voice came through the door. She hoped he wouldnt try and come through, well she wouldnt mind if he did, but she just didnt want him to she her like this, weak and scared, the person she never was. 'Astraia? I-Im sorry if i did something wrong..i didnt know that i would make you feel uncomfortable or anything..' His words floated under the door towards her. great she had upset him, made him think it was him. it was nothing of the sort, she had to tell him, but how?
"You .. you didnt, d - d...do anything Jake. Its not you in anyway. I would have been tottaly fine with it.." She gulped past the lump rising in her throat " if it werent for what happened to me, that has changed me." she looked down at herself, fidding wth her thumbs, when she looked back up at the door. "Its not locked if .. you . If you want to come in" she spoke nervously playing with a strand of hair and wiped the tears from her cheeck.

Hearing her voice, i could tell she was crying. I looked down at the latch and turned it slowly walking in. I found her sitting on the cold floor her knees tucked up so tight it was like she was tied up. "Astraia what are you talking about?" I asked gently kneeling down in front of her. "You know you can tell me, i wont speak a word of it to anyone. I promise" I said looking at her intently though she wasnt looking up at me.

Astraia looked up when he walked in, but uickly looked away again. she couldnt bare this. She had to tell him, but she just couldnt. "its not that i dont trust you, its the fact that i just cant tell you" Suddenly she remember that she had kept a diary from the day it had happened, and she had wrote about it on many pages. she suddenly sprang to her feet. grabbing Jake by the arm and pulled him out the bathroom and upstairs into her room.

I sighed and sprang up when she pulled me upstairs. I had a feeling i wouldnt like what she was going to tell me. Though i kept up with her, easily matching her stride with mine. "Whats going on here Astraia, is there something that you're scared of or something? Im just confused" I said and walked over to her room with her.

Astraia let go of his arm as they reached her room. Plonking herself down onto her bed. Then began digging around in the top draw, pulling out a few crumpled peices of paper. She handed the papers to Jake. "Read these and they shall answer your questions" She turned away from him as he read her personal letters. she didnt really want anyone reading them, and she felt the urge to rip them out his hands and change her mind. Though she had to confide in someone else, other than her parental figure.

I walked home from the party, one of the guys walked with me. He was a friend, so i thought. I was slight on the drunken side, but not enough so that i falled over my own feet, just in the way of being giddy and rather hyper. We laughed and joked about the night.
But it suddenly turned into my worst nightmare.
I hadnt realised untill it was too late. He had taken me on the wrong turn, ushering me down a dark alley. I soon sobered up, only to be jabbed in the neck with a needle, as i tried to fight him of. My small size no match for his football build. he flung me onto the hard concrete, my head snapping back. The world went black for a while, im still not sure how long it was. I awoke to find him sat ontop of me a huge grin on his face as he rocketed back and forth in a strange motion. Thats when i realised he was rapeing me. I ttied to scream, but nothing came to my lips, tried to move, but couldnt. What was he doing, how could he do this to me. He was suppsoed to be a friend.
He soon began more forceful with me. I was sore and was bruised and scratched from the hard concrete underneath me. He was letting up. A slight tear ran down my face. I was about to give him, tired from tring to keep myself from drifting of into the dark abbiss, when a dark figure loomed up out of the alley. Causeing the guy to stuff it in his pants and back up against the wall. Shock and horror spread wide across his face. Then she closed her eyes.

The next day i remember waking up in hopistal, an IV drip jammed into my hand, i cringed away from the florecent lighting, to harsh for my eyes. rasing an arm to block it out, when someone called my name. My dad, i could tell that voice through an angry crowed, pick out his dark fluffly brown hair, from a million others. "Dad" my voice sqeaked, but he ushered me down and hugged me close, climing into the small hospital bed, holding me close to him, as i cried. He knew what had happened to me, but he didnt mention it, i was glad. I didnt want to talk not yet. But i had to, i had to tell the police. Thats when i remebered the dark figure that had potentialy saved me, maybe he had taken the guy in after ringing the ambulence for me, how else had i gotten here. If she ever found out who he was, she had to thank him, them.

she bit on her nails as he read the letters, watching him then back to biting. Though this had happened a year ago to her, it still haunted her to this day, and today of all days it was worse, today being the day it had happened to her exactly a year to date. she tried not to think about it. But it was too hard, knowing her hidden secret was now in Jakes hands.

As i began to read i knew she had hidden these from herself, something in these papers must have scared her to no end where she had to hide them from herself. Hide the memories. As i read on i couldnt believe the words in front of me. I knew she wasnt lying about this, by the way she acted..she couldnt be lying. This was scaring her to the core. When i got to what had happened my body tensed. When i finally finished i let my hands drop clutching the letters in my fists. "Who did this. I want a name." I said in a low voice and looked up from behind furrowed brows. "Astraia dont lie to me on this. Who. Did. This?" I asked finally turning to face her as I stood.

Astraia backed up agaisnt the head rest on her bed. Jake was scaring her. She knew him all to well, and he would kill the guy, if only she knew his name. She wanted to cry, but the tears wouldnt come. She grasped hold of the bed rest as he stared right into her eyes. She quickly looked away. "see the thing is, i dont rememeber, i never found out. Please Jake, your scaring me" her voice came quick and trembled. "He should be in a camp for young offenders, so you would not be able to find him" she hung her head and played with the hem on her tank top.

Jake, you're scaring me echoed in my head, my body relaxed and i felt like my heart stopped. Still it echoed in my mind as she told me more. I wanted to speak but i didnt. Instead i reached up with my free hand and scratched my head then rubbed the back of my neck with a sigh as i pulled down on it and pushed up on my hand with frustration. "Sorry..I--Sorry i snapped" I said after long hesitation. "Is that why you are so distant? When did this happen?" I asked still standing where I was shoulders relaxed and my voice soft, almost luring. I gave her the space i knew she wanted from me.

Astraia relaxed as did Jake. "Its okay, I'm sure your not the only one that would, if i ever told anyone else, you the only one besides my dad, and the..." she froze not wanting to mention it "well you know, the others. That actually know about this. Please.. Just Please dont tell anyone." she scooted across the bed towards where Jake was standing, and took his hand, seeing he was distressed about the thing that had happened to her. At his next question she looked down. "A year ago to the date. But it always haunts me, and today, i just feel so ... dead? i dunno, its like my mind is going through that day again. Im sorry i freaked out earlier, but now you understand why. Why i have been acting strange all day. Im sorry if this hurst your feelings Jake, But i only invited you here as i did not want to be alone, and our friendship goes deeper than friends, everyone knows it, sees it. It might seem weird for me wanting a male companionship tonight, But Rachel has no idea about this either. And i have been wanting to tell you for so long now, but i have never found the right time, felt in the right mood for telling you."

I gently took her hand and sat where she scooted over to. Sitting in front of her now i looked down at our hands. "Astraia, I wont tell this to a soul as long as I live, I promise. And I want you to know now, that i wont ever. Ever do that to you. I could never hurt you like that. I dont want you to think of me like that scum bag. I hope he gets ass raped for dropping the soap in the shower where ever he is at" I said then looked back up at her taking her one comment into my mind now. our friendship goes deeper than friends, everyone knows it, sees it. "And if you dont feel the same way about me as i feel about you..Im okay with that. This may sound too loose and happy but im just leaving it up for grabs, if it happens it happens. If it doesnt, then we're still friends." I said with a shrug and looked in her eyes again "And i can understand why you didnt want to be alone tonight. Correct me if im wrong, but maybe you are scared to be alone, since it happened to you, you're scared that it will happen again. But I want you to know. Friend boyfriend or just plain old body guard. I wont let Anything like that happen to you again. Not as long as im here."

Astraia smiled as he felt the warth of his skin in her palm. His grasp gentle on hers, but it made her feel safe, secure, like nothing would ever harm her, when Jake was around. Astraia smiled at his last words 'I hope he gets ass raped for dropping the soap in the shower where ever he is at' "I hope so too" she looked up at Jake. " I know you never would do anything to put me in harms way, its just.. well..." she raised one shoulder " I guess i just couldnt find the guts to tell you. Your the only guy i can trust, fully. I would have told you sooner, but i never could" She glanced down at their entwined hands, self conciously playing with his hand, turning it this way and that, following the lines on his palm. "Its not like i dont like you in that way, i just need more time to adjust, to know the feelings are true before i leap into something im not ready for, and im sure you understand why. But maybe i am ready, it might help me move on from this" Astraia looked up as she felt his gaze on hers, their eyes locking together. "Thank you Jake, for everything. And i like the sound of body guard, makes me feel like someone special, like a famous person or a princess." she suddenly felt better, like a load had been taken of her chest. she plopped of her bed and onto the ground. "I think the movies and junk food is calling us" she smiled as she held out her hand to Jake.

"And im totally cool with that. Now. Lets go clog some arteries shall we?" I asked with a smile and stood taking her hand again and followed her downstairs. The smell of pizza yet again entering my nose. "Tell you what you pick the movie with your eyes closed, i'll go heat the pizza back up. Sound good?" I asked with a smile and stopped where we had to part for one of us to go to the kitchen the other to the living room

Astraia smiled, His warm safe grip on her hand, acted like a link, connecting their emotions, His seemed stronger, overriding hers, making her feel safe. But when he let go, she was back into the same worried person, not wanting to be alone. Her face dropped when he suggested they split, she almost went into panic mode again. Not feeling safe in her own home. "He knew where i lived Jake, If he is out, he could come back for me, finish me of, since he never had the chance to actually do it. I dont even feel safe in my own home." She clung onto him. not wanting the short space between them, not matter how short the time he would be gone. "I'll help you with the pizza and we can choose the movie together"

When she clung onto me, that was yet another wake up call. She really was scared, terrified. "Hey hey easy Astraia, calm down" I said and rubbed her back pulling her into a gentle hug. "He's not going to get you. I promise" I assured her and walked her into the kitchen with her at my side. "remember, im right up the road and can get here in a heartbeat. You have my number, you know to call at any time"

Astraia relaxed a little. He was right she did need to calm down. "I'm just on edge at the moment, once it gets dark, i always freak. which reminds me, i have to take the medication, be warned, it could make me sleep." she slightly refused as he pulled her into a hug, pulling backwards a little, but then gave in. Though it was still pretty awkward for her. "I know, not whilst your here anyways." She followed him as he lead her into the kitchen. "yes you do, but is a heartbeat really fast enough, faster than him sliding a blade across my throat and leaving me to bleed to death, its the quickest way you know." she slapped herself in the head. she was late for her meds, and you could tell, she was beginning to act weird, see things that would never happen, unless he was out of camp, but that would not happen since once he was old enough he would have to spend his time earned in jail. "I need to take my meds before i go crazy on you and you have to take me to a mental asylum" She laughed halfheartedly, then headed to a cupboard, grabbing a class, then headed to another to fetch her pills. Filling the glass with water, popping the pills into her mouth, as she swirled the water and then downed the hole glass.

I sighed knowing that she had a point. "He wont get that close," I said gently and leaned on the counter and watched her. She took her pill and i offered a smile up to her as she stood there. "And who knows one day i could join ya in a loony bin" I said with a smile

[agh so short D:]

Astraia felt his gaze on her, watching her moves. "Stop watching me!" she laughed, her cheeks turned a bright red in colour. "I'm not left alone all too much, my father had to go into work late, a night shift. Normally he asks if im okay on my own, but i never saw him this morning either. I guess he just thought i would be okay." She walked over to him, standing pretty close, placing her hands on his face. "But there's nothing loony about you Jake, though having you there might make me feel better" She let her arms drop to his shoulders, gripping her hands together behind his back. She scooted closer to him, leaning in to him, just as the microwave pinged of, pulling her back. Glancing at the microwave, she sniff. "i think the pizza is warm" she smiled, the smell of pizza in the air again. She pulled away from him, headed for the pizza. Pulling it out the microwave, only to find the plate was hot, burning her hand. "Ouch, fuck!" she shouted, dropping the plate to the counter, as she rushed to the sink running the cold water over her hand.