Two Batty Kids :: Me and Polo

"Tell you what." James's brow furrowed, "We can spend the morning together, until I have to go rehearse," Orion nodded, instantly cheered. That was perfect, he could settle for that. He was about to tell James as much, when the other man added, "and then Aine can come spend the evening with you so that you're not too lonely without me."
At this, he tilted his head slightly to one side, considering James with a strange, puzzled look. Did James seriously think he was so pathetic that he couldn't function on his own? He was a loner by nature - surely his own boyfriend knew that?
Sighing, he pinched his templed between thumb and forefinger, rubbing wearily. "James, no offense, but I can survive a few hours without you, you know." He offered a teasing little smile, and watched as his boyfriend's cheeks flushed with colour, and his confidence fled swiftly from him.

His words were stammered when he amended quickly, "I- I mean if you want. She would know something is wrong, and I didn't know if you'd want to tell her or have her guessing at it."
"Ah..." He grunted his understanding, frowning slightly. So that was what it was. He pressed his lips together thoughtfully, wondering whether he ought to be insulted, but then he saw James's face, and his expression softened. Goddammit, he was adorable when he looked so vulnerable and insecure. "Come here." He demanded, seizing that adorable face between his hands and planting a firm peck on his lips. "Thank you for worrying." He murmured, declining his head and looking James earnestly in the eye, "But I'm fine, really. I'm not depressed or anything, and I don't need looking after. I just need some rest." He smiled, then added with a sheepish chuckle, "Honestly, I do not want to play any of Aine's guessing games, and I don't want to talk about it, either. It's not the sort of thing I could really justify to other people..." He scratched his cheek, hesitating a moment, "But I know why I had to do it, and I think I can forgive myself for that, and that's what matters, right? So don't worry. It's sweet of you, honestly, but I am totally, one hundred percent okay." He pecked James's lips again, and tilted his head slightly to one side as he added sweetly, "Okay, James?"

Just as James had thought. Orion didn't need his plan, and didn't even need company at all. And it wasn't that James thought that he needed it, it just would have been nice to know someone was watching out for his boyfriend, should he need it.
"Come here." James lifted his eyes from the floor just in time to see Orion's hands close around his cheeks and his lips dart in quickly. "Thank you for worrying." Orion's eyes were locked on his, almost forcibly. James couldn't bring himself to look away from those burning green irises. They captivated him still just as much as they had the day they first met, and that was something that James's logical mind could not find the sense in. The novelty of those eyes should have faded long ago. They shouldn't be so entrancing.
But honestly, there was no sense where Orion was concerned, so James tried not to let it bother him. Too much.
"But I'm fine, really. I'm not depressed or anything, and I don't need looking after. I just need some rest. Honestly, I do not want to play any of Aine's guessing games, and I don't want to talk about it, either. It's not the sort of thing I could really justify to other people... But I know why I had to do it, and I think I can forgive myself for that, and that's what matters, right? So don't worry. It's sweet of you, honestly, but I am totally, one hundred percent okay."
Bullshit, James thought. That's not something you can just walk away from without feeling grubby or dirty or cheap. It's going to take a long while to restore a solid sense of self-worth.
Eye contact was broken as Orion dipped his head in for another peck on the lips. James managed to drop his gaze to the floor once again to avoid Orion's eyes.
"Okay, James?"
James nodded once, face still hot with the embarrassment of presumption. A bitter part of his mind found some sort of dry humor in that. Orion didn't like to initiate everything, and now James was afraid of assuming his feelings. It was like they were both too scared to do anything that might jeopardize their pride, so they would forever wait in their own little shells, hoping that the other would make some sort of move to show that yes, it was okay to presume.
But no, it didn't seem like that would happen in the near future, so James would just have to suck it up and pretend to be comfortable.
"So," James finally said, clearing his throat and taking a step back. "Where should we go for-" he glanced down at his elegant gold wristwatch "-about three hours." It was eight in the morning. They could do a three hour long thing, which would give James enough time to get back and shower and prepare himself and go. Not as long as he'd like, but still, it was better than nothing. "I thought I heard you say something about jamming?"

James nodded his response, but didn't say anything at first. To Orion, he looked a little uncomfortable, the way he blushed and averted his gaze. He wondered if he'd done something wrong, and suddenly, he felt as anxious as James looked. He nearly wanted to apologise, and he wasn't even sure what for. James had that effect on him, he supposed. He wanted so desperately to keep his boyfriend happy, to convince James to keep on loving him, that he was terrified to ever upset him, even a little. Sometimes he worried that he tried too hard. He worried a lot, since the incident with Cory.

Shoving it out of his mind, he rubbed the back of his hair, and smiled automatically at his boyfriend.
"So," To Orion's relief, James broke the silence, "Where should we go for about three hours? I thought I heard you say something about jamming?"
At the mention of the date, Orion perked up instantly, shelving his insecurities to battle with at a later time. "Where...?" He repeated, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. His fingers rasped over the skin, catching on a faint shadow of velcro-like stubble. "You know what?" He grabbed James's wrist, casting a pointed glance at is watch, and gasped dramatically, "Who the heck cares? We're late!"

Still with a firm grasp on his boyfriend's wrist, he darted to the door, flashing a grin as he threw it open. "Three hours isn't nearly long enough. We'll have to decide on the way." He tugged James out into the corridor with him, then realised that he'd forgotten his guitar, and ran back in to grab it, and his keys. Honestly, he was looking forward to this date, however short it was. Things had grown strained between himself and James lately, and he knew that it was his fault for distancing himself. Now, he felt like he needed to get to know his boyfriend all over again.
"Let's go somewhere quiet." He decided out loud as they hurried down the stairs together, "If we only have the morning, then I don't want to share you with anyone." He shot James a cheeky smirk, "I'm just selfish like that."

A large smile spread across Orion's face as soon as James mentioned jamming. It was a good thing too, as James wasn't completely certain that he'd heard that when he was spacing out - although it did seem like the only plausible possibility. It certainly wasn't slamming, like slam dunking (basketball was for nerds) and it wasn't going to be whamming, like just hitting each other, or any other '-amming'. Jamming seemed the best fit.
He chuckled at the direction of his thoughts and rolled his eyes as Orion began talking excitedly, obviously glad to be on safer ground.
"Where...? You know what? Who the heck cares? We're late!"
A hand darted out and grabbed his wrist - the same wrist he had sprained some time ago, he noticed as a twinge of pain shot through his arm - and was nearly yanked off his feet and dragged out of the room. "Three hours isn't nearly long enough. We'll have to decide on the way."
All of a sudden, Orion seemed to remember that he was forgetting a few choice items and sprinted back into their room. He came back with a set of keys and his guitar slung over his back. James lifted an eyebrow questioningly, waiting for the other man to realize that it took two to jam and he didn't have his guitar with him.
Orion didn't notice, however, and immediately began walking quickly again. James let out a soft sigh and followed, a wry smile on his face as he waited.
But they kept going, through the hall and down the stairs. "Let's go somewhere quiet. If we only have the morning, then I don't want to share you with anyone. I'm just selfish like that."
"Orion." James said, reaching out a hand and setting it gently on the man's arm. He stopped. "I appreciate your sentiments, but I feel like we are forgetting something..." He made a grand sweeping gesture to the empty air around him, lifting an eyebrow. The smirk still played on his lips. "Also if we're going somewhere in a motorized vehicle, I'd prefer my car so that my guitar doesn't get damaged..." He shrugged. "If we're going to bring my guitar, that is." Again, the smirk and a chuckle.

"Orion."[i] A hand touched his arm, and Orion stopped, glancing at James questioningly. Didn't he know they were in a hurry?
[i]"I appreciate your sentiments, but I feel like we are forgetting something..." The other man's lips curved into a smirk, and Orion's gaze followed his hand as it swept across the empty space in front of him. He blinked blankly. "What?"
"Also if we're going somewhere in a motorized vehicle, I'd prefer my car so that my guitar doesn't get damaged... If we're going to bring my guitar, that is."
James smirked again, and at last, it dawned on him. "Ah." He chuckled, his ears growing hot as his hand lifted automatically to his hair. "Ah, right. Okay, back we go!"
He laughed at himself again, just a little shy, then took James's hand - more gently this time - and started climbing back up the stairs to the room. Once back inside, he waited by the door, leaning in the frame, and watched as James collected his guitar and car keys. That blasted car...

"Hey, here's an idea," He piped up, unfolding his arms and tossing his own keys up in the air, then catching them again, "How about you take the car and the instruments, and I'll travel in something that isn't a moving tin can of death?" He smiled sweetly, not entirely joking, and added, "Just a thought."
He would travel with James, obviously. He wanted them to spend as much time together as possible, so it would be silly not to, but he honestly didn't like traveling in that car. The claustrophobia always made him sick. Sighing dramatically at the thought, he waited for James to finish, then locked the door behind them - he'd forgotten that the first time, too - and turned to face his boyfriend.
"I hope you appreciate what I go through for you." He grumbled, folding his arms and starting to march sulkily in the direction of the car park again. His bike keys were still in his pocket, just in case. "It would usually take a cattle prod and a forklift truck to get me into a car." He shuddered at the very mention of it, gagging dramatically. He still didn't know how he'd been roped into it that day they all went to the beach. Peer pressure, he supposed.

"Ah, right. Okay, back we go!" Orion looked properly abashed this time, and James watched with mild satisfaction as the tips of his ears turned pink. Orion ducked his head and reached out for James's hand again, this time pulling more gently. As they reached the top of the stairwell and went into the hall, James twisted out of his boyfriend's grip - just in case someone came and saw.
"Hey, here's an idea," Orion called from the doorway as James began sliding his guitar out from under his bed. He looked over and watched the man as he grabbed his keys from the bowl on his desk. "How about you take the car and the instruments, and I'll travel in something that isn't a moving tin can of death? Just a thought."
Right, Orion hated cars. James bit his lip thoughtfully as he considered the idea, and then nodded. "That sounds fine to me, but we need to figure out where we're going now then."
"I hope you appreciate what I go through for you." Orion grumbled like a sulky little child. "It would usually take a cattle prod and a forklift truck to get me into a car."
James sighed. "I want to spend as much time with you as I can before I go, but I don't like riding motorcycles." He gave Orion an apologetic look. "Heck, I don't even like driving around them. It just feels really unsafe."
He sighed and let the keys drop out of his hand. He slid his guitar more gently to the floor. He then walked over to Orion and pulled him into the room by his wrist after checking to see if anyone was watching.
"Maybe we could just jam in here for now." He murmured, glancing down at the ground. He could feel his eyelashes brushing against his cheek like little golden butterflies; they tickled. When he raised his eyes back to Orion's, they bright green shade took his breath away for the second time that day, but he did manage a half-smile, filled with apologetic remorse.

Judging by James's troubled reaction, he obviously had not picked up on the teasing in Orion's tone. Now, it was his turn to smirk.
"I want to spend as much time with you as I can before I go, but I don't like riding motorcycles." James explained apologetically, "Heck, I don't even like driving around them. It just feels really unsafe."
"Can't argue with that." He admitted, shrugging, "My shoulder still hurts from the last time that bike tried to turn me into human mincemeat."
The smirk lingered on his lips, faintly amused, as he watched James fret for a handful of moments before grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him into the room. "Maybe we could just jam in here for now." He suggested, looking honestly, deeply remorseful for this tragedy.
"Heh." Orion uttered a little laugh of amusement, pinging James cheekily on the forehead with the tip of his finger. "Chill out, James. I can suck it up for one little car drive." He grinned, running his fingers back through his boyfriend's hair in an attempt to get that worried expression of his face. He didn't want things to be complicated; to feel as strained as they did. He just wanted James to feel at ease with him, and, to be honest, he felt he needed to relax a little himself. At some point, they were both just people, and their feelings - although admittedly fragile - were not exactly nitroglycerin ((That's the stuff that explodes, right? XD )). It was time they stopped being so damn frightened of upsetting each other, and started actually being friends again. It was time to have fun!
"Let's get off this goddamm campus!" He declared dramatically, "I don't care if it's in a car, a blimp, or a fucking unicycle! Come on, you adorable, overthinking little nerd."

"Can't argue with that. My shoulder still hurts from the last time that bike tried to turn me into human mincemeat."
James pursued his lips and a little crease formed on his forehead. Orion had gotten into an accident? It couldn't have been a while ago either if he was still hurting from it. His eyes focused on the man's shoulder, but it didn't seem like anything was out of the ordinary.
"Heh. Chill out, James. I can suck it up for one little car drive."
Relief tickled around his body at that. Good. Orion was right, one car ride wouldn't kill him. He thought about offering the keys to Orion as a sort of compromise, but then thought better of it. What if Orion crashed? That would be bad for the insurance and everyone involved and Orion couldn't afford anything. Not that James would let him pay for the damages, but still. Orion had his pride. Besides, James was very emotionally attached to his car, and the thought of someone else driving it felt much the same as someone sleeping with his significant other.
"Let's get off this goddamm campus! I don't care if it's in a car, a blimp, or a fucking unicycle! Come on, you adorable, overthinking little nerd."
"Little?" James inquired, an eyebrow raised and a smirk playing on his lips. He moved towards Orion and stood dangerously close to him, his tall frame towering over his boyfriend's so that he had to look up if he wanted to make eye contact. He may have been scrawny, but he was tall, and sometimes he could use that to his advantage. "I don't think I'm very little." He murmured, reaching a hand under Orion's chin and pulling it up just a little more. He chuckled and ducked down for a quick kiss, and then danced away backwards. Gracefully, he bent down and scooped up his items and walked out the door, flashing a smile at Orion over his shoulder. He had no idea where that confidence came from, but he was enjoying the feeling, and hoped it wouldn't fade.

"Little?" James repeated, the tone of his voice instantly drawing a suspicious glare from Orion. "Don't!" He warned, raising an accusing finger and pointing it at his boyfriend, "Don't say it."
And James didn't, but he did step closer, standing near enough now that the difference in their heights became blatantly obvious. It wasn't much (well, not too much), but the fact that he was clearly shorter still made his face flsh with embarrassment.
"I don't think I'm very little." James taunted, fingers tickling at Orion's chin.
"Shut up!" He retorted defensively, twisting his head away and swatting halfheartedly at James's fingers. But his boyfriend was relentless, and with a heavy sigh, Orion dropped his arms and allowed his head to be lifted so he was looking up into James's eyes. Up.

He uttered a grumpy little sound of distaste, but before he could squirm away, James ducked down and stole a quick kiss from his lips, leaving him somehow pleased and peeved all at once. He flashed a rude hand gesture as his boyfriend pranced away. James smiled back, and at last, Orion laughed despite himself, pouncing on those scrawny shoulders and ruffling James's blonde hair roughly with his knuckles. "Don't tease me!" He scolded, scrubbing harder, then releasing James and shoving him toward the door. He grinned, suddenly feeling strangely bubbly for reasons he couldn't quite explain. It was difficult, as he closed the door and walked on beside James, not to carry on with whatever game they'd just started to play. But the walls had ears, and Orion knew well that James, at least, was not ready to let the truth slip out. So he contained himself, and resorted instead to elbowing his boyfriend in the ribs, and shooting him a challenging smirk. This was going to be a fun morning, he was sure of it! Something about the jesting and teasing had awoken something in him; a kind of eager excitement that he'd almost forgotten he had. He felt like a kid again, like for the first time in years, he'd remembered how to actually have fun. ((...Poor baby. XD First he's short, now he thinks he's a kid. Guy has issues.))

"How could I resist teasing you!" James exclaimed as they walked down the hall for the second time. "You're just very teasable."
That earned him an elbow in the ribs. It wasn't very rough, but without much meat on his bones, it did hurt a little more that Orion probably intended. James responded with a roll of his eyes and a small laugh that told Orion he would get it later.
"Abuse." He chuckled under his breath. They descended down the stairwell, and as the door closed behind them, he reached out and took Orion's hand. The lack of windows made him feel a little more at ease, and quite honestly, he was feeling giddy enough that he would have done the same thing even if there were windows. Who wanted to look into a stairwell?
They finally got to the ground floor, and James reluctantly dropped Orion's hand. As they walked out, he squinted his eyes at the bright sun and fished around in his pockets for his car keys. He pulled them out and jingled them in front of Orion.
"I appreciate this a lot." He murmured. "But really, I don't want you getting sick. Take your bike, I'll take the guitars. We can go to Nettle's Peak again - I really liked it there."

Orion's eyes darted over to James, stunned, when he felt another hand grasp his own, and he had to look away quickly to hide just how touched he was by the gesture. It was bloody dumb - who got all sappy over holding someone's hand? - but he couldn't help himself. Something about the fact that James was willing to take the risk - albeit a small one - of somebody seeing them just for this tiny bit of physical contact with him, made him feel really loved... No, appreciated. Like he was actually worth something, without even doing anything. He smiled at the thought, cheeks warming in a way that was not unpleasant, and gave his boyfriend's hand a fond squeeze. They only broke apart when they reached the parking lot, and Orion shot James a quick wink as he held the door, then jogged out after him, full of energy for the first time in weeks.

Presently, James stopped, and Orion admired him absently as he squinted at the sun, then turned to face him. "I appreciate this a lot." He said with a meaningful jangle of his keys, "But really, I don't want you getting sick. Take your bike, I'll take the guitars. We can go to Nettle's Peak again - I really liked it there."
"Are you sure you can survive without me for the whole drive?" He shot back with a cocky swagger, grinning dangerously at James as he fished for his own keys. He found them, then pushed past with a playful shove and strode over to his bike. He fished his helmet off the handlebars - it was honestly just luck that it hadn't been stolen yet - and buckled it onto his head in a graceful swoop, then mounted his bike. "Got five bucks says I get to Nettle's before you!" He shouted to James as he started the engine, "Don't keep me waiting, slowcoach!"

"Are you sure you can survive without me for the whole drive?"
I'm more worried about you, you goofy kid, James almost answered. As it was, a grin spread across his face. This was what their relationship was supposed to be about.
He chuckled as Orion pushed past him a little more forcefully than needed and headed over to his bike. James watched as the man unclasped the helmet from the handlebars and pulled it over his head, buckling it and pulling the strap tightly against his neck. When their eyes met, James's smile grew even bigger. Normally he would have been embarrassed for getting caught staring, but he didn't even feel a hint of shame. Hopefully it was a sign that their relationship was moving past the shaky beginning stage.
"Got five bucks says I get to Nettle's before you! Don't keep me waiting, slowcoach!"
James rolled his eyes. "Drive safely! Accidents aren't worth five bucks." He sighed, opened the car door, and dropped into the driver's seat. As he started the car, he kept an eye on Orion in his rear-view mirror, watching him start his engine and take off. James sighed again and backed out of his parking spot, heading down the road in the directions he remembered taking before.

When he parked his car in the scenic parking lot of Nettle's Peak, he saw Orion already there, leaning against his motorcycle, arms crossed over his chest coolly. Silently, James got out, grabbed the guitars, and headed over.
"Let's go!" He said enthusiastically, although he was beginning to remember how difficult the climb had been the first time. Now he had an instrument on his back...

"Yes Mom!" Orion shot back, poking his tongue out rudely, then revving the engine and sending the bike roaring out onto the road. He didn't wait for James. Once he was out on the open road, it was his time! The wind snatched at his clothes as he sped along the atr, chilling his skin in instants, and he leaned into the speed, quickly pulling away to race off toward Nettle's Peak.

He arrived around fifteen minutes later - alone, of course - and killed his Bike's engine in the small parking area, kicking down the stand and swinging his leg over the saddle. The gravel crunched under his boot, and his helmet felt sticky with sweat as he tugged it off his head. He pulled a face, and hurriedly buckled it to his handlebars so he could fix his flattened hair. By the time James arrived, he had arranged himself back into a more attractive state, and found a flattering pose to strike while leaning against his bike.

Once James had pulled up, he uncrossed his arms and straightened up, sauntering over to greet his boyfriend. James met him halfway, with a cheery, "Let's go!"
"Yessir." Orion agreed with a mock salute, grinning goofily at him. They both turned to gaze up the hill, and when Orion looked back at James, he saw the other boy's enthusiasm dampen. Smirking secretly to himself, he shook his head, then reached over and freed James from his guitar, hooking it over his own shoulder without a word. "I need the exercise." He said with a shrug, donning his own instrument as well, then reaching for James's hand with a sweet smile, the two guitars hanging bizarrely from his back like a pair of wings. "Come on," He encouraged, seizing the other man's palm in his fingers and giving it a warm squeeze, "Climbing sucks, but it'll be worth it when we reach the top. Besides..." His expression darkened, then split into a grin, "I've got five bucks says I beat you again." Still holding James's hand, he lifted his boyfriend's arm and did a twirl under it, then released him and bounded a few steps up the hill before stopping to pant, hands on his thighs. "Come on!" He called again, breathlessly, "We're burning daylight here, Jem."

Orion noticed James's look of silent despair and grabbed his guitar with a smirk.
"I need the exercise. Come on."
He reached out and took James's hand, helping to steady him as he began the laborious task of climbing a few perilous seeming rocks. It suddenly dawned on him that this was much too dangerous for people to be doing on a daily basis, and whoever owned Nettle's could get in serious trouble if someone fell and got hurt while trekking up here. Maybe they weren't supposed to be doing this-
"Climbing sucks, but it'll be worth it when we reach the top. Besides... I've got five bucks says I beat you again."
"Like hell you need the exercise." James muttered under his breath as Orion did a twirl under his arm - did that mean he was the girl in the relationship? James chuckled quietly at the thought of Orion in a short little party dress, all black and sparkly, with bright red heels, dark lipstick, and a cocktail in hand. Now that would be a sight to see.
"Come on! We're burning daylight here, Jem."
James rolled his eyes and tried to move a little faster, his thoughts moving on to other topics. Did Orion just call him Jem? That was new; no one had ever called him that before. He kind of liked it, though, especially coming from Orion. It was definitely better than 'Jamie' as some of his old friends called him sometimes. It was nice to have a name unique to his boyfriend. A warm feeling began bubbling in his chest and a smile spread across his face.
"Sorry. It's just I can't help but get distracted by how bizarre you look." That was partly the truth. "You look like some sort of guitar butterfly or angel or something." He flapped his arms behind him for effect, but ended up losing his balance and stumbling backwards. He landed on his wrist - again, the bad one - and let out a quiet yelp of pain. He immediately rolled over so he was lying on his back - and couldn't roll down the hill.
His heart was racing with the fright of nearly falling, but James managed to shoot Orion a reassuring smile in between labored breaths. "Sorry I'm so clumsy." He murmured, examining his hands in front of his face. His delicate fingers were all intact and none were bent out of shape. That was very good; he had a huge fear of damaging his hands, as nearly everything he did depended on their dexterity and cleverness.
He sighed and let the drop to the ground, twining them idly in strands of grass. He didn't meet Orion's eyes; instead he watched the clouds and tried to pick out shapes. He was never creative enough for that though. When they were younger and actually spent time together, it was Tess that would point out the different animals and people and objects. As soon as she did, he would be able to see them, but he could never pick them out on his own.
The sudden thought of Tess dampened his mood. It was strange. He despised her so much now, but when they were younger, they were so close. Maybe it was because she always acted so much older than she was and he could relate. Or maybe it was because he wasn't as bad of a person as he was now.
He let out a soft sigh and closed his eyes. "Can we rest here for a bit?" He asked Orion, knowing that the man would say yes no matter what his request, especially if he had just gotten hurt. Well, his mind knew that, but his heart still harbored doubts, just like with everything else.

"Sorry. It's just I can't help but get distracted by how bizarre you look. You look like some sort of guitar butterfly or angel or something." James answered, flapping his arms for effect. Orion glanced back to roll his eyes at him, but then James stumbled and lost his balance. "Oi! Careful!" Orion warned, stumbling towards him and snatching out a hand too late to grab him. James toppled over with a little whimper of pain, but managed to roll onto his back in time to keep himself from slipping.

Orion nearly fell himself in his haste, and slid quickly to James's side, soles skidding on the steep slope. "Are you okay?" He demanded quickly, face crumpled into a far-too-worried frown. His heart was in his throat, and it was beating far too fast for comfort. James smiled, obviously to reassure him, but Orion's scowl only deepened with his sigh of relief. Placing the guitars carefully on the ground beside him, he bent his knees and sat down next to James.
"Sorry I'm so clumsy." The other boy mumbled, and Orion sighed again, loudly. "You gave me a right fright, you know that?" He accused grumpily, glaring at James's sore wrist.

His boyfriend flopped over - avoiding his eye, he thought - and Orion watched him worriedly for a while as he stared up at the sky, wondering bizarrely if he'd somehow got concussed or something. Just as he was starting to really stress, James closed his eyes and murmured, "Can we rest here for a bit?"
"Mmhm." He agreed immediately, nodding his head, "Sure."
His brow rumpled further in concern, and he shifted closer to James, sitting right beside him, and taking his injured wrist gently into his lap. He checked it over, then lifted it to brush his lips gently against the fingers. "You'll live." He announced, giving his boyfriend's hand one last fond squeeze - softly, so as not to hurt him - before returning it. He knew he was acting like a mother hen, and he knew that he always did, but he couldn't help it. He would always be overprotective.
With a quiet sigh, he relaxed his back, and lay down at James's side, one arm resting casually behind his head. He stared up at the sky, watching the clouds drift past, and slowly let his frazzled nerves begin to relax again.
"Looks like a rabbit." He mumbled absently, pointing up at the fluffy white mass that drifted overhead, its vapoury substance arranged amusingly into a shape with two long ears and a fuzzy cotton ball of a tail. He an Luke had always watched the clouds together, back when they were young. He didn't think he'd done it since then. Somehow, he had feared that they would have lost their magic...

James let out a soft sigh when Orion took his wrist and turned it over gently in his hands. There was a soft brush of something across his fingertips. "You'll live."
"Good." He murmured quietly, still watching the backs of his eyelids. "I'm not ready to die just yet."
There was a slight breeze as Orion lay down next to him; the grass danced around him and tickled his skin. It felt nice. He wasn't sure when he had last allowed himself time to just get outside, relax, and be. And now that he was giving himself that time, he found a certain clarity, a peace of mind, that enabled him to think about things. Not necessarily important things, but just whatever came to mind. He found he could make sense of it all.
He was still thinking about Tess, trying to figure out when their relationship had started to go downhill, when Orion's soft voice startled him.
"Looks like a rabbit."
James opened his eyes and followed to where the man was pointing. Immediately he saw it; the rabbit was tilted at a ninety degree angle, but it was still clearly there. Funny, that had been the cloud he'd been studying too, trying to make sense of the droplets of water.
"Tess and I used to do this a lot when we were younger." He said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. "She would always point them out and give them names and backstories and tell me all about their lives. And when they started to drift away, she would wave to them and say, 'Goodbye! Come visit us sometime!'"
He let out a small laugh and sighed. "I worry about her. She's always with a new guy every week, and dresses so... so..." He struggled for the correct word. "Distastefully. I haven't heard anything about drugs or alcohol, but that doesn't mean..." He sighed. "I wish I wasn't so judgmental about her. We were really close when we were young, but now just her presence irritates me. I don't even know her."
Some part of him realized that Orion might now want to listen to him ramble on about sister issues, but he couldn't stop. This was a real conversation, not just small talk about the weather and classes and the stuff they normally did. He was letting Orion in, and goddammit, he was going to appreciate it.

"Tess and I used to do this a lot when we were younger." James murmured, his soft voice catching Orion's attention. He pulled his eyes from the clouds overhead and looked curiously at James instead, frowning just a little as he listened.
"She would always point them out and give them names and backstories and tell me all about their lives. And when they started to drift away, she would wave to them and say, 'Goodbye! Come visit us sometime!'"
"That sounds like fun." He mused, echoing James's laugh and letting his lips form a subtle smile while his eyes continued to search his boyfriend's face. James hardly ever spoke about his life, or his family. It was all school or music. This was new... Different.
"I worry about her." He confessed, "She's always with a new guy every week, and dresses so... so... Distastefully. I haven't heard anything about drugs or alcohol, but that doesn't mean..." James paused, heaving a heavy sigh, "I wish I wasn't so judgmental about her. We were really close when we were young, but now just her presence irritates me. I don't even know her."
Orion frowned, considering him concernedly for a while. Then, without a word, he reached out and took James's hand, pulling it over his chest. He folded both of his own around it, and toyed absently with his boyfriend's fingers, staring back up at the sky again.
"I think..." He murmured carefully, "That she's not exactly who you think she is. When I met her, I was surprised." His eyes flicked briefly toward James, then back to the sky, and his frown deepened as he wondered how much he should divulge. Slowly, tentatively, he dipped his toe into the truth, and admitted, "She asked me to look out for you. Your drinking, your self-esteem..." He trailed off, and shot the other man a tender smile. "I think she knows you better than you think. She definitely cares a lot. Why she's so..." He used James's word, "'Distasteful' now, I couldn't say, but I can tell you that she wasn't what I expected, based off the first impression I got from her. It wouldn't surprise me if she actually had a good reason for the way she's changed." His eyes searched James's face, and he added gently, "Maybe you should try talking to her sometime. Try getting to know her again... They say that when you get old, your sibling relationships become really special. If you ask me, it's not too late to save it."

There was a long stretch of silence, and James was afraid that he'd moved the conversation on to taboo ground. Maybe their relationship wasn't at the 'let's discuss all of our life problems' phase and Orion was super uncomfortable with the topic. Or maybe Orion just didn't know how to respond, because he didn't really have a family. As soon as that thought crossed his mind, he immediately regretted the decision to bring up family problems, because no matter how bad his were, they would never be as bad as Orion's.
However, just when he was about to apologize for that very thing, Orion reached out and took his hand, pulled it over to his torso, and twined both of his own around it. He began threading his fingers in and out of James's, and it felt surprisingly good; his hands were very sensitive.
"I think... That she's not exactly who you think she is. When I met her, I was surprised."
"You met...?" He began to ask, but then he remembered. The day his parents came to 'visit'. They hadn't wanted Tess in the room, so she went out and probably assaulted Orion in the stairwell or something. Poor kid.
"She asked me to look out for you. Your drinking, your self-esteem... I think she knows you better than you think. She definitely cares a lot. Why she's so... 'distasteful' now, I couldn't say, but I can tell you that she wasn't what I expected, based off the first impression I got from her. It wouldn't surprise me if she actually had a good reason for the way she's changed."
James frowned. She told Orion to take care of him? Wasn't that the job of the older brother? To tell his younger sister's best friend or boyfriend or whoever to take care of her, because she was a delicate little flower? Now that he thought about it though, he realized that he was the delicate flower. She had confidence and could bounce back from anything. He on the other hand... She was right to tell Orion to look out for his self-esteem, although he wondered how in God's name she had realized that. He thought he did a pretty good job of covering that up.
"Maybe you should try talking to her sometime. Try getting to know her again... They say that when you get old, your sibling relationships become really special. If you ask me, it's not too late to save it."
"Maybe..." James murmured. Orion's advice was gentle in a way that made him want to call Tess right then. He probably would have to, if they had had all day. But they only had a few hours, and there were better things to do on dates than call little sisters. Maybe he would Skype her tomorrow, or the day after. Maybe.
"Maybe I will..." James sighed. "I had forgotten that you met her. Tell me, did she have anything else to say about me?" His mouth turned upwards in a wry grin. He thought of her in the outfit she'd been wearing when he left for university the first time. She was wearing tall black heels, a light blue high waisted mini-skirt, and a collared blouse. She had also insisted on at least twenty pictures of them together, and she was almost as tall as him - and about three times as tough looking. Yeah, James was definitely the delicate flower in that relationship. Suddenly, an image of him in a daisy costume - with large white petals surrounding his face, his entire body in a light green velvet tube, and his arms trapped in plush leaves - filled his mind, and he burst out laughing.

"You should." Orion pressed, as soon as James began to consider it. "I'm sure the two of you could get along again." He didn't say it, but he thought, too, that James was more tolerant now; more understanding than he had been before. Once, he had seemed terribly closed minded and narcissistic (in his own insecure way), but that had all changed now. It took a special kind of person to understand the situation that he had found himself in. He still clearly remembered James's reaction when he'd told him the night before, and just how shocked - pleasantly shocked - that he had been when he'd found out that his boyfriend forgave and accepted him, even despite his poor choices and filthy mistakes. If James could accept him after that without so much as raising his voice, he could accept anything. Orion smiled at the thought. His strange, probably-too-talented roommate had certainly grown since they'd met. The thought made him proud, in a strange way. Not just with James, but with himself, too. Because he hoped - no, he knew - that at least part of that change was because of his influence in James's life. He had done some good, and that thought, he knew, would be an important one to remember when times got darker again.

"Maybe I will..." James repeated, still indecisive. Orion squeezed his hand, and smiled encouragingly at him. "I had forgotten that you met her. Tell me, did she have anything else to say about me?"
"Uh..." Orion hesitated at a moment, feeling once more his shock from the moment when Tess had told him that her brother was gay. Somehow, he didn't think it would be helpful to mention to James that Tess had read part of his journal. Sure, his boyfriend had grown, but he hadn't grown that much. Orion chortled at the thought, then started when James burst out laughing beside him. His eyebrows shot up, and he stared at the other man as though his nostrils had just sprouted curly pink stems. "What?" He demanded, his own lips tugging upwards automatically in amusement, even without hearing the joke. James's laugh was contagious. "Don't just laugh randomly!" He scolded, with an awkward bark of laughter of his own. "You look like a crazy person, and that's my job." Leaning over, he scrubbed at James's hair with his knuckles until his fringe was ruffled over his face, then sat up with a grin and planted a cheeky peck right in the middle of his forehead. "You're a weirdo, you know." He teased, smirking as he parted James's fringe, pushing it back with his hand so he could look into his eyes. He rather liked the feeling; leaning over James and looking down at him, like a parent tucking a child into bed. It nursed his sense of protectiveness, leaving a warm feeling of pride bubbling in his chest as his thumb stroked absently over his boyfriend's smooth brow, the beautiful young skin soft to the touch. It was a delicious, refreshing change to the sort of sickly-stale, perfume-soaked corrugation he'd had to endure in sets of greedy fingers the past few weeks. Inwardly, he berated himself, but it was no use trying to shake the thoughts from his mind. They were too fresh, and too shameful. His ego had taken a beating from which it would not easily recover.

"Don't just laugh randomly! You look like a crazy person, and that's my job."
That just made James laugh harder, although probably not for the right reasons. If only he knew what thoughts passed through his mind, Orion might realize that he was the normal one in the relationship. Not that James wanted that to happen, but it was still pretty funny to be considered the non-weird one.
"You're a weirdo, you know." Orion murmured as he reached over his hand and rubbed James's hair, mussing it in a messily artistic way. His knuckles were rough against his scalp, but not painful. The contact was nice, and it calmed James down until he had stopped making any noise. He was acutely aware of his heart hammering noisily in his chest as Orion put his hand down on the ground to steady himself. He suddenly realized how close the two were when Orion leaned down and placed a quick kiss on his forehead, and then began fixing his hair. Their chests were pressed together, their breathing almost synchronized, and their faces were mere inches apart.
The faint scent of cheap perfume still clung to Orion though, and James did his best to keep from wrinkling his nose. He hadn't noticed it last night, probably because he was otherwise distracted with the task of comforting his boyfriend. But now it wafted around the air and overwhelmed his senses - just that tiny little bit of perfume that remained. It wasn't much, but it was a subtle reminder of what Orion did. He had danced and stripped - maybe even completely? James wasn't sure how far he had gone - for complete strangers for a little money, and couldn't even bother to tell James what had been going on with Chang. Maybe he wouldn't have accepted James's money, but he could have helped look for a job - one that didn't involve gyrating on sex-starved women for dollar bills stuffed around his body - or something like that. Hell, he could have just provided emotional support. Whatever the case was, it was beginning to dawn on James what the hell had happened, and it hurt.
He sighed and let his eyes drift shut again, not wanting to meet Orion's eyes, because he would know something was wrong then. As his thoughts drifted, he was suddenly compelled to say something, anything, that would make Orion feel guilty and upset. A primitive part of his mind reveled in the idea of him hurting Orion, but the rest of it was horrified that he would even think of something like that. Immediately he began to feel guilty, and even a little nauseous, but kept a calm composure. Despite the fact that he was firmly resolved to not hurt Orion in any way, a little part of him still wondered...
Some time passed, and as James got his thoughts under control, he opened his eyes again and smiled. "That felt good." He whispered, referring to Orion playing with his hair. In all honesty, it had felt really nice, but he couldn't really concentrate on it. "Thanks."
He sat up, wincing at the accompanying dizziness, and looked up towards the top of the hill. "Shall we continue, my dear?" He chuckled at his choice of words and rolled his eyes.

Orion saw that James had stopped laughing, and allowed himself a subtle smile when his boyfriend began to relax. James eyes slid shut as a sigh issued from his lips and, taking it as contentment, Orion left him to rest, flopping back down and lying close beside him, but with his fingers still absently toying with his hair. He couldn't even begin to explain how lovely it was, just to share a few quiet moments with the man he loved. He and James had not had enough of those lately.

"That felt good." James's quiet voice whispered, breaking the silence at last, "Thanks."
Orion looked at him, expression softening warmly, and watched with fond admiration as James sat up and stretched, obviously ready to move on again.
"Shall we continue, my dear?" He asked with a roll of his eyes, clearly amused by his own sappiness. Orion could not hide his grin. "You are so damn cute." He teased, heaving himself into a sitting position with a groan, then clambering to his feet and offering James a hand. "Come on, Love." He mocked cheekily, "Let's get your adorable, lame ass up this hill already. At this rate we'll have to go back down before we've even reached the top."

"You are so damn cute. Come on, Love. Let's get your adorable, lame ass up this hill already. At this rate we'll have to go back down before we've even reached the top."
James snorted. "Well I'm sorry that I'm slowing you down so much." His tone was too sarcastic to sound injured. He took Orion's outstretched hand and groaned as he was pulled to his feet. "Remind me to never fall down a hill again." He added, wincing gingerly as he took a step forward. He made a move to pick up his guitar case, seeing as how they had left the worst of the hill behind. It would be a bitch to get down, though - had it been this bad the last time they had gone up?
He sighed and shook his head, his blonde fringe swishing gently over his brow. It was no use pondering over such things; better to just continue on.
He let Orion's fingers slip through his own so as to better balance himself, and the two climbed the rest of the way in a comfortable silence. When they finally reached the peak and James glanced at his watch, he realized with mild chagrin that Orion was partially right - they only had about twenty minutes to sit and do whatever it was that they were going to do before they needed to start heading back so that he could get to rehearsal on time. Had it really taken them that long to ascend?
"I'm sorry that I'm slowing us down." He repeated as he sat down among the tall strands of swaying grass, his tone more sincere than before. Absently he ran a hand through his hair, pushing it over to the side like he normally did. "We've only got a half hour to jam." Screw Chang if he thought James would cut his date short to be there on time. Even so, he knew he didn't dare cut it too close.
He set the guitar case down on the ground and unclasped the buckles. As he pulled the instrument out, the sunlight reflected dimly off the polished wood; it had been too long since he'd played it, or any of his other instruments, James realized as he set it carefully in his lap. He hadn't had time for anything other than piano, because of his studies and the difficulty of the pieces. It wasn't that he minded playing the piano so much, it was just he felt guilty for neglecting his guitar and flute. Oddly, he even found he was missing his trumpet at home a bit.
However, as he strummed a soft chord, it was as if he'd never had any time apart from the instrument. It still responded to his touch as easily as before, and he still played it as if he were communicating it. As if it were a living, breathing organism instead of a chunk of carved wood with strings attached to it. He was slightly relieved that he hadn't lost that feeling - he remembered a quote one of his music teachers had once told him. "Music is like a woman: give her the time and energy she deserves, and she will treat you well. Give her less, and she will be cruel and desert her when you need her most." He fought back a chuckle as he remembered that instructor's melodramatic nonsense, but knew it to be true. Even incredibly talented musicians like himself needed - and deserved - to give their music plenty of attention.
He sighed as he pulled his thoughts back on track and looked up at Orion. Again, his right hand went to his face and pushed his hair to the side again. A smile appeared on his lips. "What do you want to play?"

"Well I'm sorry that I'm slowing you down so much." James retorted sarcastically, but Orion just snickered at him. He had learned not to take his boyfriend's sarcasm so seriously.
"Remind me to never fall down a hill again."
"Remind me never to let you."
With a little smile, Orion squeezed James's fingers, then started up the hill again, slinging his guitar safely over his back. James had taken back his own instrument now, but he didn't object. They were nearly at the top anyway. He couldn't treat James as if he were made entirely of glass...

The climb went by in silence, mainly because they both needed to save their breath for breathing, but when they finally reached the top, Orion was feeling pleasantly flushed from the exertion. It felt good to be getting out for some fresh air and exercise at last. He had been too cooped up lately. He was going stir crazy.
"I'm sorry that I'm slowing us down." James piped up again, and this time Orion frowned at the figure who had just sat down beside him, "We've only got a half hour to jam."
"Any time with you is time enough." He pointed out, plonking down and ruffling James's hair reassuringly. He couldn't help it; it was just adorable how the little nerd was always fixing it.
Rolling his shoulders, he flopped down in the long grass, then mirrored James in taking out his guitar. He took a moment to tune it, and smirked secretly to himself when he caught James fixing his hair out of the corner of his eye. Called it.
"What do you want to play?" The other boy asked, his voice just barely managing to coax Orion's attention off his hair.
"I dunno." He strummed his fingers once over the guitar strings, then clamped a palm over the instrument to stop the reverberations. "You're the musician here, Mozart. What've you got to play?" A cheeky glint twinkled in his eye as he flashed a boyish grin, and poked James playfully in the ribs. His poor guitar wasn't getting much attention out of this after all. Sadly, it wasn't his first choice of the things on that hilltop to play with. With cheeky nonchalance, he prodded an unruly, tickling finger at his boyfriend's side a second time, watching out of the corner of his eye for a response while he fiddled coolly with his guitar, pretending that he wasn't done tuning. He didn't know if it was the weather, the season or the time of day, but suddenly, he was feeling alive! Being with James brought out the child in him, and after a few far-too-adult weeks, this was something that he quite desperately needed. He wondered, absently, if there was any part of mature, composed James that also longed just to cut loose, and get a little silly? Sometimes it seemed like they each spent too much time trying to impress each other, and not enough just being themselves.

"I dunno. You're the musician here, Mozart. What've you got to play?"
James pulled a face at that, unsure. He had too many things to play, that was the problem. What kind of atmosphere did he want to create with Orion? Soft, peaceful, meandering melodies? Maybe some alternative-style progressions that they could turn into a song? Perhaps Orion could write some lyrics for it then, and...
His mind slowly wandered off, bored of his current stream of thinking, and he absently began strumming out some more chords. His hands knew what they were doing, even if he wasn't really aware of it, and soon a song was forming. It wasn't original - no, he needed to actually concentrate for that - but he hadn't heard it in a while. As his fingers danced over the strings, he was transported back to his best friend Taylor's girlfriend's room. She was the definition of an internet hipster - pale yellow lights strung up all over her walls, paper lanterns hanging from the ceiling, posters of old indie bands from the 80's everywhere. Katelyn had given him sheet music for yet another Fleetwood Mac song, Landslide. It was gentle, peaceful, a little sad and nostalgic as well. The first time he had played it, he'd stumbled a few times here and there, but it flowed easily enough, and Katelyn's voice was one of the most beautiful he had ever heard. In fact, he preferred hers to Stevie Nicks's when he listened to the original recording.
When he got to the refrain, James realized that he had started to play a song and stopped, an abashed smile creeping onto his face. "Sorry." He said sheepishly, ducking his head. "Reminds me of an old friend and the simpler times."
He sighed and strummed the last chord quietly again. "Do you wanna learn it?"

Orion didn't get the response he had hoped for, but he hid his disappointment, and turned back to his instrument. He had been stupid to hope, even for a second, that they could end up chasing each other through the grass, or rolling down the hill, or climbing trees, skipping stones across a river- He stopped himself there, thoughts turning suddenly grim as he realised from where the fantasy stemmed. He had promised James that he wouldn't compare him to Luke, and he didn't mean to, but it was difficult to let go. Perhaps he never would. Perhaps he was doomed to spend his whole life chasing a feeling he would never get back...

His sigh was lost when James started to play, and Orion glanced at him curiously, expression softening as he let the soothing sound of James's music wash over him, easing his mind as it always did. The tune sounded familiar, but he did not recognise it. James obviously did though, because he was getting really stuck into it now, and Orion couldn't help but smile when he saw him getting so carried away. He hoped that one day James could get as excited about him as he did about his music. The thought made him snort. Nice try, Orion. Nice try.
"Sorry." James stopped suddenly, shooting him a sheepish smile, "Reminds me of an old friend and the simpler times. Do you wanna learn it?"
"What simpler times?" Orion joked, chuckling. He copied James, and echoed the final chord. "Yeah, it's nice. I don't know how quickly I'll pick up on it though, being so out of practice. But you're up for the challenge, right?" He winked, "Teach me, Master."