Two Batty Kids :: Me and Polo

"What makes you say I'm going to let you leave?" Aine replied with a witch-like smile. Orion cast her a suspicious glance from behind his glasses. Her head was tilted slightly to one side, cheeks dimpled with her smile as though her lips were pressing back a secret. She looked as if she knew something. His eyes narrowed, but before he could snap some snide retort, James's hand fell on his shoulder, making him flinch slightly in surprise.
"Listen, we probably should leave right now anyway." His roommate told him seriously, "Your favorite person in the entire world is here."
"Hm?" His eyes followed James's nod, flashing sharply to the dancefloor. Within moments, he had picked out a sickeningly familiar form; a tall, weedy figure with a narrow, snakelike face and hair tied back in a greasy, tangled ponytail. Orion's lip pulled back in a sneer.
"We don't want him over here with another chloroform rag again, do we?"
"Like to see him try..." Orion muttered under his breath, his fist clenching tightly at his side as his furious eyes locked on Blondie, and refused to leave. His blood was boiling, and maybe it was just the alcohol, but he suddenly felt far less willing to contain his anger than usual. Aine said something beside them, but Orion didn't even hear. Suddenly, the world shrank to nothing but the space between his fist and Blondie's pussy pincushion of a face. He wanted to close that space. Close it fast. Close it hard. His teeth began to grind together, and his knuckles turned white as the hand at his side began to tremble faintly.

Then, just as he feared he couldn't contain his anger a moment longer, his hand tightened around the red plastic cup in his hand, simultaneously squishing it and snapping the thin, brittle plastic. Vodka sloshed all over him, and he cursed, tsking his tongue and flicking out his soaked sleeve fussily, like a cat with tape on its paws. "I still owe him for last night." Orion snarled, eyes lifting to Blondie again. You injured James's wrist, you bastard. Don't think I'll let you get away with that so easily. "How about it? Want me to smash his face in for you?" He began cracking his knuckles, eyes flashing behind his glasses.
He might have headed over there, too, but at that moment, a distraction arrived in the form of a tall, (why was everybody taller than him?) dark-skinned man. He might have been of Indian descent, but when he spoke, there was no hint of an accent in his dark voice.
"Hey, you." He shoved James's shoulder, and Orion took a quick step forward, shoulders tensing protectively. Just let him try! He thought furiously, Just let him f*cking try to lay a hand on James!
"Think you can just mack on someone else's chick and get away with it, huh?" The man's eyes were dangerous, narrowed intensely below a pair of thick, dark eyebrows. "Know your f*cking place, nerd!" He drew back a fist, but before he could throw a punch, Orion grabbed James's sleeve and pulled him out of the way, leaving their attacker to stagger forward, pulled off balance by the momentum of his punch.
"You know what," Orion muttered to James, casting the cursing man a withering glare, "You're right. Let's get out of here. These people are f*cking animals."

In a moment, Orion looked as if he were about to explode. As soon as he had spotted Blondie, his entire body went rigid. His hand began clenching his plastic cup so tightly that James was afraid it would burst. He almost said something, but it did break first, sloshing clear liquid all over the dark man. He barely noticed, it seemed, except for shaking out his arm. Droplets of vodka flew all over, a few landing on James himself. He wrinkled his nose but said nothing, for fear of provoking his roommate further.
“I still owe him for last night.” He said with an angry snarl. James tried to say something then, that he didn’t owe Blondie anything and that they should just leave right then, because they did not need another fight right now.
“How about it? Want me to smash his face in for you?”
“No!” James managed to choke out, a look of shock flashing across his face. For him?! Orion was the one they were after! What had they done to James? A glance down at his wrist told him, and his face colored. “No.” He murmured again.
A rough shove to his shoulder caught him off guard. What now? He thought and turned to face the man, only to have his vision cut off a little by Orion stepping protectively in front of him, effectively providing a human shield between James and an angry looking partier.
"Think you can just mack on someone else's chick and get away with it, huh? Know your f*cking place, nerd!"
That wasn’t the first time in his life someone had used the term “nerd” to insult him. He wasn’t offended by it. However, he was a little nervous about the tone of the man’s voice, and the anger. Macking someone’s chick? He hadn’t…
Oh.
What an idiot, he told himself, remembering the blonde. What an idiot.
Suddenly the man threw a punch. He squeezed his eyes shut reflexively and waited for the impact, but nothing came, only the sound of a loud crash. When he opened his eyes, the man was lying on the floor groaning, Orion was looking furious, and Aine was standing to the side with her mouth open in shock, her slim hand raised delicately in front of her face.
“You're right. Let's get out of here. These people are f*cking animals.”
James nodded once and began heading out, walking quickly and with purpose. Aine followed the pair, looking a little lost. When they left the rom and walked into the slightly chilly nighttime atmosphere, she crossed her arms over her chest and shivered delicately.
Everything she did was delicate.
James rolled his eyes and broke into a jog to his car. They weren’t technically allowed to have parties like this on campus, so everyone had to find somewhere else to drink the fill of booze and dance the night away. Tonight’s location had been at a house of the junior’s parents’. They never really lived there, so it was free for the use of the son. And it was only five minutes away from the university.
He quickly got in and started the engine. Aine hesitated before asking, “Can I get a ride back with you?”
She looked a little pathetic standing there under the orange light of the streetlamp in her blue dress that was too girlish for a college-age young woman, shivering in the slight breeze. He sighed.
“Get in.”
The girl’s face broke into a smile as she hopped into the passenger seat. Orion had taken his motorcycle – he was married to that thing, it seemed to James – so he shot the man a nod and began to drive away.
The drive itself was uneventful. Aine didn’t make much conversation. She cowered in the corner of the seat, put her hands up to the heater, and stared out the window, even though there was nothing to see in the darkness.
When they got back to the dorms and the girl followed him in, James realized that she probably lived in the same dormitory. He let out a muttered curse under his breath as they walked in together, but didn’t say anything to her face. Orion was already back in the room when he got in, surprisingly. Aine continued down the hallway, and James peeled off his damp shirt and threw it onto his bed. He went into the bathroom and splashed some water on his face from the sink, completely and utterly exhausted. He still had a light buzz from the alcohol, and the was good, but he’d gone to get roaring drunk. When he came back out, he took another gulp from his unfinished can of beer from earlier.
“Want one?” He asked Orion nonchalantly, plopping himself down into the chair and leaning back. “By the way, thanks.” He looked at Orion, thankful that the sunglasses were still on. He was still very unnerved by his electric green eyes. “If you hadn’t… you know, helped me… he would have taken me down.”
Way to state the obvious, dummy.
James shook his head to clear the thought and took another long drink.

[[I got on, yay! I hope you didn't have any other plans for the party, but now I figure that they can have some bonding time. Also feel free to bring Aine back in as you see fit.]]

To Orion's relief, James quickly agreed that it was time to leave, and the two filtered out through the throngs of drunkards before Orion's growing temper could cause any more harm. He had never done well with crowds or drunks, much less drunk crowds. Needless to say, parties were not his scene, and to say that he regretted coming would be a drastic understatement.
As he stepped out into the cold night air, Orion stopped to take a breath of it, lifting his face to the sky and letting the soft breeze steal the stuffy warmth from his skin. Then, subtly calmed, he glanced back toward James just in time to catch his nod of farewell, and returned it briefly before trudging over to his bike, hands shoved into his pockets. He pulled out his keys, and gave the bike's handlebars a brief pat as he mounted it and started it up. The engine roared powerfully at his command, and he felt his lips lift just a little as he revved it, then turned it loose upon the night, sending it zooming away with the roar of a monster.

As he pulled out onto the road, the air grew colder around him, and he drank in a deep gasp of it, letting it freeze his lungs. Exhilarated by the chill, he pressed on faster, letting his bike's tyres scream as he leaned around the corner, so low to the road that his knee nearly brushed the tarmac. Streetlamps flashed by in a blur, and as they flew down another sidestreet, Orion let the speed gradually remedy his raving temper. With the whistle of speed as his lullaby, he felt himself begin to let go. By the time he arrived back on campus, he was feeling truly refreshed.

After parking his bike, Orion shoved his helmet under his arm and jogged up the stairs to his room, unlocking the door and shoving his way inside, then tossing his helmet carelessly into the corner. Raking his hands through his hair - still faintly sweaty from the drive - he walked into the bathroom to fetch himself a drink of water. By the time he came out, hair slightly damp from where he'd splashed water on his face, James had just arrived, and was busy closing the door behind him. He walked past Orion toward the bathroom - obviously having the same idea - and Orion watched him for a moment before turning to his desk chair, and flopping down into it with a weary sigh. Stupid party. He let his head flop forwards into his hands, and massaged his aching temples until a familiar voice caught his attention.
“Want one?”
"Hm?"
He glanced up to see James offering him a beer, and quickly shook his head. He'd had enough. Much as he enjoyed it, getting drunk was not a wise idea for him. He liked to be able to trust his judgement, to make sure he didn't accidentally divulge something absurdly stupid. 
“By the way, thanks.”
Again, Orion grunted stupidly in response, looking questioningly over at James, sitting in the chair opposite him. 
“If you hadn’t… you know, helped me… he would have taken me down.”
He shrugged in response, secretly pleased by the thanks, and answered casually, "Don't mention it. It's not like I did anything, anyway. He fell on his face all by himself." Orion snorted derisively, and muttered something about a 'drunk idiot' under his breath. When he glanced back at James, he found himself squinting into the gloom. It took him a moment to figure out that he still had his sunglasses on. ((Har har, James.   )) As this thought occurred to him, he reached up to slip them off, rubbing them briefly on his sleeve before setting them aside. Somehow, he didn't really mind James looking him in the eye, even without the glasses.
"God, that's bright..." He muttered, wincing and rubbing his eyes. He got so used to living behind those glasses that when he took them off, even the dark seemed bright. And, speaking of bright...
"So, tell me." Orion glanced curiously at James, "What makes a smart guy like you decide to randomly snog some stranger's girlfriend, anyway?" He raised an eyebrow. "To be honest, I never really took you for the womanizing type. In fact, I kinda expected you to be the more, 'Ew, I'll get mono' type." He shrugged, very nearly smirking with the shadow of humour, "Honestly, I'm starting to wonder how you've managed to avoid getting your face totally smashed all these years."
It struck Orion briefly that he was being considerably more conversational than usual, but strangely, he wasn't all that bothered by it. Even if it was the alcohol that had loosened his tongue, James was a decent guy. What did it matter if they exchanged a little small talk?

Orion didn't seem too keen on accepting James's thanks; he just grunted in response and brushed it off as if he hadn't done anything. James wasn't about to call that out as bullshit, though. His pride had suffered enough for one night - he didn't want to rub salt in his own wounds.
He sighed and finished his can of beer just as Orion took off his sunglasses.
"God, that's bright..." The other man said quietly as James got up and pulled out another can of beer from underneath the bed. He thought about going to get a shirt, but honestly it wasn't worth the hassle. He didn't own any t-shirts - well, he did, he just didn't bring any - and there was no point in putting on a polo if he was just going to sleep in it. He made a mental note to go to the campus store and get some comfortable clothes for lounging around the dorm. It wasn't that cold in the room, though.
James sat back down at the desk and carefully avoided eye contact with Orion.
"So tell me," he began. James focused on the label of the beer can, reading the ingredients. There was a lot of unhealthy crap in there, but he couldn't bring himself to stop. He took another gulp and swallowed down the bitter taste. "What makes a smart guy like you decide to randomly snog some stranger's girlfriend, anyway?"
He almost interrupted saying that his book smarts had nothing to do with his street smarts. Despite his grades, he usually had trouble with simple day-to-day tasks. His parents still never let him live down the moment when he couldn't figure out how to open a gallon of milk.
"To be honest, I never really took you for the womanizing type. In fact, I kinda expected you to be the more, 'Ew, I'll get mono' type."
Not the womanizing type. That much was true. He had never been particularly good with the ladies - although he did think he was pretty handsome. Even Alia had said so during their semi-relationship. But he was sensing some undertones, and that maybe the 'mono type' wasn't exactly the type that Orion was referring to. He shot a suspicious glance at his roommate, who wore an amused smirk on his mouth.
"Honestly, I'm starting to wonder how you've managed to avoid getting your face totally smashed in all these years."
James sighed at that. It was a good question, and he often wondered that himself. "I threw an awesome party in high school once, and everyone liked me after that. Except the girls. They still only wanted to be friends." He made a face and took another swallow of beer, remembering the blonde. He thought about her a lot, he realized. He also realized he didn't even know her name. Lisa? Liza? Liz? Maybe it was Liz, but he wasn't too sure. "Then the last three years at university, I had a good friend who managed to keep me out of trouble. Carson Scott - maybe you know him? I actually need to meet up with him sometime soon. It's been too long..." He trailed off and shrugged as he thought of his friend. Carson was a good guy. He kept him out of the wrong crowds and was always there when James wanted to just get drunk. Last year, he'd been especially helpful. Since his roommate had never been around, Carson was usually able to come over in the evenings and throw back a few beers with James. James was a sad drunk, and so it was never good to be alone while intoxicated.
James shook himself from his thoughts and shrugged again. "And I thought that you would be the womanizing type. Get a biker chick clad in leather that likes heavy metal and motorcycles as much as you." A small smirk twitched the corner of his mouth.

((Just love the new avatar, Daaarling. It's fabulous.   ))


"I threw an awesome party in high school once, and everyone liked me after that." James answered, making Orion tsk his tongue in response. Parties... What was all the hype about getting drunk and barfing on a stranger's mat with loud music playing? Actually, come to think of it, that sounded pretty good. Take away the shitty dance music and the shittier company, and maybe he'd come to enjoy 'partying'. He snorted at the thought, then turned his attention back to James as he continued, saying something about how girls only ever wanted to be 'just friends'. He didn't care. In fact, he'd barely even heard, because for the first time since he'd removed his sunglasses, Orion noticed a glaring fact that he had somehow managed to overlook before.
His shirt... Where's his shirt? Unbidden, his eyes darted briefly to his roommate's chest, the uncomfortable pounding of his heart in his ears deafening him to James's echoey, underwater talk about some old friend called 'Carson Scott'. "Mmhm." Orion nodded distractedly, "I mean, no, never heard of him..."
Feeling his cheeks start to flush, he averted his gaze and turned away, grabbing a stray compass from the stationary box beside him, and starting to carve something absentmindedly into the surface of the desk.
He's so much like Luke... He thought silently to himself, trying to swallow past the dry shock in his throat. He felt as if he'd just run into a brick wall.

There were a few moments of silence as the pair each lost themselves in their own thoughts, until finally, James broke it, his voice causing Orion to make the mistake of looking up at him again. He willed himself not to blush.
"And I thought that you would be the womanizing type."
"Hm?" At this, Orion's eyebrows shot up, and in his surprise, he suddenly forgot his embarrassment altogether.
"Get a biker chick clad in leather that likes heavy metal and motorcycles as much as you."
Orion stared at James a moment longer, then uttered a bark of laughter. It was the first time since they'd met that he'd actually laughed out loud, even if it amounted to little more than an amused 'Ha'.
"God," He shook his head, "Do I seriously give that kind of impression?" Well, it's probably a good thing..., he reminded himself silently.
"To be honest, I'm not much interested in relationships at the moment." He scratched the side of his head, looking suddenly sad as he added quietly, "I was with someone pretty special a while ago. After that..." He shrugged, "The chicks here all seem pretty shallow."
It took him a moment to realize how girly that last comment had sounded, and as he felt his masculinity becoming gravely threatened, he quickly cleared his throat and changed the subject. "You know what? Maybe I will have another beer. It's just plain sad to sit here and watch you drink alone like some old bachelor."
There was false cheer in his voice, trying to cover up the grim mood that had settled over him since the unexpected mention of Luke. He wasn't sure what had made him bring it up... Well, the alcohol, he supposed. In the end, it was stupid to be surprised. Thoughts of Luke would forever linger in every corner of his mind. It was no surprise that, with several shots and a glass of Vodka to loosen his tongue, those thoughts would inevitably come out as speech eventually. Perhaps what was more shocking to him was that after all these years, just thinking about him still hurt this much...

[[Thanks, I thought it was pretty great myself ;D]]

Orion was shocked beyond belief, it seemed, at James's assumption. "God, do I seriously give that kind of impression?"
James nodded and chuckled softly as he tipped back the can of beer. He was already feeling his coherent thoughts slipping away as the amount of alcohol in his body increased. The drinks from the party combined with the beer he was drinking now were already taking their toll on his. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand when he was done and tossed the can next to the first one, and then got up and got another.
"To be honest, I'm not much interested in relationships at the moment. I was with someone pretty special a while ago. After that..." Orion seemed saddened by this; his voice dropped to little more than a husky whisper and his gaze fell to the floor. James found himself free to study the other man's expression. Something had gone wrong with that pretty special someone, however long ago, and he still wasn't over it, that much was clear. If James had believed that the man was capable of tears, he would have expected Orion to begin shedding them at any moment now. His lips were tightened in a tight grimace, and his hands kept clenching and unclenching into fists in his lap. Even with so much pain on his face, he was still handsome.
Handsome? He thought to himself, suddenly panicked. Shut up, James. You're drunk, not some stupid faggot.
"The chicks here all seem pretty shallow." Better shallow than gay, he almost said. But he couldn't tell if he was saying that in reference to his previous statement - that his special girl had not been shallow, and now he couldn't put up with it - or if he was just stating the fact and that that was why he didn't want to date any of the girls here. He found his thoughts returning to Aine and her blue dress. She didn't seem too shallow. I mean, no shallow girl who only wants a boyfriend wears those kinds of clothes everywhere. It was cute, but not typical fishing attire.
A small smirk twitched his mouth up at the analogy. Fishing. For boyfriends. Haha.
"You know what? Maybe I will have another beer. It's just plain sad to sit here and watch you drink alone like some old bachelor."
James rolled his eyes at that. "Whatever, man. Just so you know, I'm trying o get drunk, so don't feel like you need to keep up with me or anything." He tossed a can to Orion and cracked open the tab on his own, throwing it back and draining about half of it right away. "I was meaning to get drunk there, but then that bitch ruined everything." His smile was small and dark, and even he didn't know if he was referring the the girl or her boyfriend. Or maybe he was even talking about Blondie. "Life just has no problem shitting on all your plans, eh?"

[[Ah, yes, no school today, so I should be on pretty much all day!]]

"Whatever, man. Just so you know, I'm trying to get drunk, so don't feel like you need to keep up with me or anything."
"Oh, I can see that." Orion answered, catching the can of beer that James tossed his way, "But it's just no fun watching somebody get piss drunk when you're totally sober." He cracked open his beer with a soft hissing sound, then lifted it to his lips and took a gulp. The bitter fizz was cool and refreshing, and he sighed as he sat back in his chair, content. 
"I was meaning to get drunk there, but then that bitch ruined everything." Orion raised his eyebrows at the sight of James's bitter little smile, "Life just has no problem shitting on all your plans, eh?"
"Sure, sure. Life and poor judgement." He shrugged airily. It was James who had snogged that drunk hag after all. Then again, it was probably just as well. If they'd stayed any longer, he was fairly certain he would have been at Blondie's throat like a rabid dog. That prick just pissed him off.
With an annoyed huff, he took another gulp of beer.
"So," He sighed, resigning himself to making drunk conversation for the time being, "I take it you do this often? Get totally bladdered, I mean." He took another sip. "You trying to drown some demons, or do you just do it for the laughs?"
At this point, he didn't much care if the question seemed too personal. It seemed to him that James would soon be too drunk to notice anyway, let alone remember the conversation.

James wrinkled his nose but made no comment about Orion's lash at his poor judgment. It was true, anyway. Although he didn't know she had a boyfriend! It wasn't his fault that the girl ran into him.
"So, I take it you do this often? Get totally bladdered, I mean."
James nodded and was about to explain, but the man continued talking.
"You trying to drown some demons, or do you just do it for the laughs?"
He sighed and took another slow drag on the opening. The alcohol didn't burn anymore. There was just a numbness spreading through him. "I guess I'm a little addicted." He said slowly with a shrug, struggling a little to put the words together. "My poor kidney is going to really hate me at the end of my life." He gave a bitter chuckle and finished the beer. When he stood to get another, he wobbled.The liquid sloshed around in his stomach like the room sloshed around him, but he somehow managed to stumble over to the case, grab another can, and sit back down in the chair.
"That's not really why I'm doing it now though." He said with a shrug. Some small part of his mind told him that he had better not say anything right now, that he should really keep his mouth shut, but he couldn't find it in him to stop yammering on.
Who the hell even cares, he thought. It doesn't even matter.
"Just trying to drown out all my insecurities - I guess that's why I drink all the time, too?" He gave his roommate a toothy smile and cracked open the fourth can. His head was reeling. Tomorrow's hangover would be a bitch. "Let's see. I'm not good-looking enough, there's someone out there that's better than me - hey, I know that's not true, but even I can have my doubts." What was clearly meant as a joke didn't not sound like one. His eyes flashed darkly as he continued to rattle off the list. "Not masculine enough, not gonna get into medical school, not gonna make it through college, that I'm actually a faggot, never gonna get over this damn addiction." He raised his can to his lips and took another drink. He realized he wasn't even forming complete sentences anymore but didn't care.
"And now I'm spilling all my feelings at you like we're f*cking girls at a princess slumber party." He set the can on the desk and leaned forward, putting his head in his hands. The world around him was spinning. "God, I'm pathetic."

[[He's a sad drunk, I knew it! Poor baby James.]]

((Poor little thing. XD ))

Orion watched James curiously, sipping slowly at his beer. It was rather fascinating to watch somebody so stiff and dignified crumble like this before him. The guy was truly drunk off his face. 'A little addicted' didn't even begin to cut it. "Dude..." He muttered in disbelief as James staggered over to grab himself yet another beer, "At this rate, you won't have any kidneys left."
Apparently too drunk to hear him, James just slumped down again, and Orion swore he could hear his roommate's belly sloshing like some revolting hot water bottle. 
"That's not really why I'm doing it now though." James continued the conversation as though it had never broken off.
"Oh?"
"Just trying to drown out all my insecurities - I guess that's why I drink all the time, too?"
"Sure, sure." Orion nodded, watching James with a hawk-like gaze, "I'll believe that." He rested his chin absentmindedly in his hand, watching the poor drunkard before him like some sort of bad comedy show. This was starting to get interesting now. Even the desire to toss back his beer and go to sleep had left him now. After all, how could he say no to such quality entertainment?
When James cracked open yet another can of beer, Orion almost couldn't watch. He felt like he needed some popcorn or something.
Then, flashing a toothy smile, James began rattling off his insecurities as if they'd known each other their whole lives.
"Let's see." He began thoughtfully, "I'm not good-looking enough, there's someone out there that's better than me - hey, I know that's not true, but even I can have my doubts." Orion very nearly told him that he was talking bull, then quickly checked himself with an awkward throat clear. As James said, he knew it wasn't true. He was damn good looking, for one thing.
Without much humour in his expression, James continued, "Not masculine enough, not gonna get into medical school, not gonna make it through college, that I'm actually a faggot-"
"What was that?" Orion's head jerked up, eyes flashing sharply to James, but his roommate was too far gone to listen, and just carried on with his list as Orion frowned curiously at him.
Had he heard that correctly? Offensive terminology aside, was James seriously questioning his sexuality?
"Hm." He muttered to himself, frowning and scratching his chin absentmindedly. He wasn't sure why this interested him so much... Maybe just because it was something he could relate to, in a way. Not that he'd ever been through the same thing - he had known from the start what he was - but he had endured similarly conflicted feelings after realizing the hardships that came with being, as James put it, a 'faggot'. In the end, he had decided that he'd rather not love at all than ever fall in love with a man again. In a world so cruel, it just... Well, it wasn't worth it, he supposed.

As his mood began to dip again, Orion took another sip of his drink, then looked up when James suddenly continued, words slurred by alcohol, "And now I'm spilling all my feelings at you like we're f*cking girls at a princess slumber party." His head fell pitifully forward into his hands, "God, I'm pathetic."
The amused expression slid like oil from Orion's face, quickly replaced by a frown as he got to his feet, reaching out automatically to James. "Hey now, that's not true." He scolded quickly, hurrying to his roommate's side. It wasn't like him to be so caring, but he couldn't help it. With his head in his hands and his blonde hair scrunched lightly by his fingers, James looked more like Luke than ever before, and seeing him looking so damn sad was more than Orion's heart could take. "You're not, uh..." He pulled a face at himself, wrinkling his nose against the awkwardness of the situation, then pushed back his hair, and dropped into a crouch beside James's chair. "There, there." He mumbled, giving the man's hunched back a firm pat. "Come on, there's nothing wrong with talking about your feelings." 'If you're a girl.' Orion did not say what he was thinking, "I mean, it's not like you could punch a wall instead, not with your hand in that state. Besides, that's never a good idea. Those things fight back, trust me."
When his humour did not immediately take effect, Orion sighed, casting James a pitying frown.
"Come on, man." He shifted uncomfortably, "I'm no good at this shit. Give me something."

James almost jumped when Orion patted his back gently. He hadn't even heard the man cross the room to sit beside him. He wasn't crying yet, but he could feel the tears prickling. He quickly squeezed his eyes shut with the hope that they would go away and save him one last shred of his manly dignity ((shut up you egotistical loser)).
"Hey now, that's not true." He said gently, trying and failing not to sound awkward. James was grateful though, because in all honesty, that was why he drank. His insecurities ran deep through his mind, branded into every thought an action. He was usually very good at hiding them - and overcompensating, like he always did - but sometimes, when he got too drunk to put a filter on, he let them out. And this was the result.
The one time he'd gotten drunk with Alia and spilled his feelings to her, she'd held him and let him cry on her shoulder, and didn't tell a soul what had happened. She had looked so nice that night, he remembered. She wore black leggings with white crosses dotting them, and an oversized grey sweatshirt that made her look tiny. This was after they had broken off their non-relationship, but to her credit, she didn't hate him. She just sat and talked the night away about his feelings, telling him that his thoughts weren't true. He remembered how she'd gotten strangely quiet at the 'faggot' part, but he was too drunk to pay any notice. Maybe Alia had a feeling...
Orion gave a defeated sigh and James lifted his head to look at the man.
"Come on, man. I'm no good at this shit. Give me something."
James knew that Orion was right; he was being totally unfair with just how he was shoving everything onto this dude. They barely even knew each other, too, which made it even worse.
"Yeah, yeah, you're right, sorry." James mumbled, shying away from Orion's touch. He still hadn't shed a single tear yet.
He stood up and went to the bathroom with the intent to just splash some cool water on his face to clear his thoughts. Instead, he ended up bent over the toilet, everything in his stomach making a reappearance.
You idiot, you drank too much at once, and on an empty stomach, James thought to himself as he continued throwing up. After what seemed like forever, he stopped, staggered over to the sink and tried rinsing out his mouth. His vision was blurry and his legs felt like jelly.
After, he stumbled out of the bathroom and back towards his bed, but finding that he couldn't bring himself to climb the ladder, he curled up on the floor and mumbled, "Sorry about the sink."

[[James, you literally suck so much, pull yourself together.]]

((Shaaaaame, poor thing is sloshed. ))

"Yeah, yeah, you're right, sorry."
"You don't have to apologise," Orion assured him quickly, looking strangely flustered, "Just..." But before he could go on, James had got up to walk over to the bathroom, leaving him kneeling alone on the floor with a bemused expression on his face.
"Whoa..." He muttered to himself, shaking his head and running his fingers through his messy hair. That had got rather intense, rather quickly. And what was worse, he had let himself care. He wasn't supposed to do that - he was supposed to be cold and intimidating. That was the identity he'd given himself ever since he'd lost Luke... He couldn't go back to being the same person he was before, and yet when he was with James, it was as if he just reverted instantly, helpless to stop himself.
After a moment, the sounds of retching came from the bathroom, and Orion winced on James's behalf, straightening up and dusting off his knees, which now felt tender from pressing into the hard, wooden floor. 
Groaning, he stretched his back, then yawned widely. He'd not realized until that moment just how late it was getting, and now, he was suddenly tired. Rubbing his eyes absently, he glanced up as James walked back into the room, took one look at the ladder, then curled up on the floor.
"Sorry about the sink." He mumbled, looking so utterly pitiful that Orion nearly smiled at the sight. He was like an abandoned puppy, all huddled up next to the bed.
"Hey." He poked his drunk roommate unceremoniously with his big toe, "Come on, if you sleep down there the Boogeyman will get you. C'mon," Again he dropped to his knees at James's side, and grunted as he heaved his roommate's arm over his shoulders, "Up we get. I'll give you a boost."
Hauling the drunk fool to his feet, Orion then told him to brace his arms on the edge of the bed, grabbed his knee, and boosted him up. Even as slim as James was, Orion was surprised at how easy it was to lift him. He was like a bloody feather.
"You've seriously got to eat more, or stop throwing up everything you do eat." Orion teased, tugging the duvet sharply out from under James, then tossing it untidily over him. "For the record, you're an idiot when you're drunk."

With that, he left James to sleep, heading instead to his side of the room, and looking out some clothes to sleep in. He went to the bathroom to change, but since it stank to high heavens from James's little barfing fit, he could barely bring himself to close the door. Groaning and wrinkling his nose in disgust, he kicked it shut, then squirmed out of his dirty clothes and into his clean ones in record time. As gross and sticky as he felt, the shower would have to wait for tomorrow. He couldn't handle the smell a moment longer.
Throwing himself at the door handle, he stumbled out with a dramatic gasp of fresh air, then shuddered before hurrying over to his bed. His first attempt at vaulting up served as a rude reminder that he, too, was a little drunk, and after dusting himself off with as much dignity as he could muster, he resorted to using the ladder instead. No wonder James hadn't tried to get up. He was only a little dizzy, and the ladder still seemed like something off the empire state building.
One slow climb later, he fell with a sigh onto his bed, staring blankly up at the ceiling above him.
A faggot, huh, James...? Slowly, his eyes slid shut. Interesting... Very interesting.

Orion helped James stagger to his feet and up into his bed. He barely noticed the man's hands around his knee or the impact of his body against the mattress. The only thing he really felt was the cool whisper of the pillow as it brushed feathery soft against his ear, and the weight of the blankets that he must have pulled over himself. Orion made some comment about him needing to eat more, but he was already well on his way to being fast asleep. In an instant, he was out, darkness enveloping him tightly.
***
The next day, James woke with an aching in his skull. In fact, aching didn't really do the feeling justice. It was more pounding, glass shattering, fist-fighting, and lightning all combined into one feeling - if that made any sense. The sunlight filtering in through the window didn't help matters much.
"Close the damn curtains!" James nearly shouted, then let out a small yelp at the noise. It was too loud.
Speak in a quiet voice, he reminded himself gently, but all he did was roll over and moan loudly some more.
Memories from the night before slowly trickled back to him, one by one. The party - was that where he had gotten drunk? Maybe? The girl he'd kissed, her boyfriend. Had her boyfriend been Blondie? Yeah, he thought so. Then Blondie came over and punched James, that was why his head hurt so badly.
No, that wasn't right, but his mind hurt too much to figure out what actually happened.
He sat up slowly and winced again at the sunlight, squinting against the glare of the morning. Why wasn't he still sleeping?
It made no matter. He slowly descended down the ladder, legs still a little shaky, and walked into the bathroom, wrinkling his nose at the scent. Who had thrown up?
Oh. Right.
James used the toilet and, as he was washing his hands, almost didn't recognize himself in the mirror. His hair was mussed beyond any possible redemption and his eyes had dark bags beneath them. His chest gleamed lightly with a faint sweat.
He left the bathroom, absolutely parched. It felt like he hadn't had a glace of water in years or something. "Water?" He croaked, his voice cracking, as he looked around.

Orion awoke the next morning to a harsh shout of "Close the curtains", and from that moment, he was automatically in a bad mood. Though he was lucky enough to have escaped a hangover, he was tired, and he did not take kindly to being so rudely awakened. "Close them yourself!" He grumbled, rolling over and pulling the blankets over his head. It was Saturday. He wanted to f*cking sleep. He still hadn't completely recovered from losing sleep over that incident with Blondie, and he was not keen to lose another minute of it. 
Unfortunately, now that he was awake, he couldn't avoid hearing the dull sounds of James shuffling around the room, and though he tried hard to ignore them, they still kept him awake. Eventually, his roommate shuffled back into the room, and croaked pitifully, "Water?"
Slowly, Orion pulled back the covers, glaring at James from over his pillow.
"Drink out of the tap like a normal person." He scolded, yawning widely, then sitting up and rubbing his head. His hair stuck up untidily in every direction, but he didn't care. It wasn't like he planned to leave his bed for the next thousand years anyway.
"If you need some aspirin, I've got some in my bag. But I guess a drunk like you probably has a stash somewhere anyway, right?" He yawned again, and despite his earlier thoughts, hopped down from the bed, shuffling over to his first aid kit, which was still sitting open on the floor by the desk. With a grunt, Orion dropped to sit cross-legged beside it, too tired to stand, and looked out a little tub of yellow pills.
"Here." He held it out toward James, "Take two with water, and try not to throw up again. This place stinks."
So do you, actually. He added silently, though he was too polite to say the thought out loud. He couldn't have smelled too fresh himself, after such a rotten night.
"And let me know when you're done in the bathroom," He added as an afterthought, "If I don't have a shower in the next five minutes, I'm going to start growing mushrooms."

When James looked at the condition of his roommate, he immediately felt bad for waking him up - he had woken him up, right? It seemed like it.
Oh well. There was nothing he could do about it now.
With a dejected sigh, he closed the curtains - the blinding light was doing nothing good for his headache yet - and headed back into the bathroom, getting a glass and drinking the tap water from the sink like a normal person would. He'd never done that before in his life - he always had bottled, distilled water with him, but he really didn't care right now. And Orion was right. It did smell in there.
Again, he left the bathroom, eyes cast to the ground miserably. He took the pills from Orion's hand and swallowed them dry, without bothering to ask what they were.
"Go ahead." He said quietly,indicating the bathroom. He climbed the ladder back to his bed and curled up on the mattress, squeezing his eyes shut. Miraculously, he managed to fall asleep again.

Some time later, he awoke. The curtains were still closed and the place smelled a lot better. His head also didn't feel like it was about to explode.
"...and there you go! All clean!" A girlish voice was saying.
James raised his head and saw a head of bright red hair below him, sitting in his chair!
Aine.
She wore a white blouse today, with a pale green skirt that fell just above her knees. She was talking to Orion, it seemed. And if she was talking about the dorm, she was right. It was all clean.
"How the hell did she get in?" James asked groggily as he took in the scene. The garbage was emptied and all of his stuff that had been on the floor last night was nowhere to be seen.
"I'm offended." Aine said in mock irritation. "This is the thanks I get for scrubbing your bodily fluids from the floor in your bathroom? And bringing my own air fresheners for your room?"
"You need to mind your own business."
"And you need to take a shower."
James glared at the girl, who sat in his chair with an unreadable expression on her face.

James was still looking distinctly sorry for himself when Orion pushed past into the bathroom to take a shower, but at that moment, he was too tired and too damn sticky to care. He still reeked from the Vodka he'd spilled on his sleeve the night before, and it was starting to make him feel sick. So desperate that even the putrid smell of the bathroom couldn't chase him off, Orion padded gingerly over the cold tiles, and pulled the door shut behind him. Moments later, he had stripped to his skin and stepped into the shower, shivering fervently for a second before the water warmed up. It was unpleasant, but at least he wasn't sleepy any more.
With hands lathered with soap, Orion scrubbed the stench of sweat and alcohol from his skin, then fashed the final remnants of vodka from his hair, leaving it wet and dripping as he opened the shower in a cloud of steam, and wrapped a towel around himself. He wrinkled his nose as the acidic stench of vomit came back in full force, then hopped quickly into a pair of clean boxers, and waddled to the door with his pants pulled up halfway. He was just pulling up the zipper and shrugging on a shirt when he left the bathroom, taking in a gasp of the slightly fresher air outside. It still did not taste pleasant in his throat. A glance at the James's bed showed him that his roommate had gone back to sleep, and just as he was about to follow suit, there came a knock at the door. Frowning, he walked over to it, and carefully pulled it open an inch, staring through the crack to see who dared disturb him so early in the morning. When he saw Aine's telltale red hair, he relaxed slightly, pulling the door open all the way.
"Mornin'." He greeted her with a tired mumble, "What's-"
Before he could say another word, Aine exclaimed something about the place smelling like a trashcan, then barged her way inside.

From that moment on, Orion could only watch in stunned bemusement as the girl attacked their filthy room with a vengeance, cleaning as only a woman could. She attempted to exchange idle small talk with him from time to time, but Orion was not altogether conversational, and most of the time it ended up being more of a case of Aine talking, and him nodding or shaking his head, occasionally grunting or mumbling something in response.
It was over an hour later when Aine finally collapsed into a chair - looking satisfied, but exhausted - and announced, "...and there you go! All clean!"
"Thanks." Orion answered with a yawn, "I really appre-"
"How the hell did she get in?" A tired voice asked rudely from above them, and Orion shot James a scowl. Okay, so he hadn't been all that pleased to see her either, but she had just cleaned up the mess that James had caused last night. He could be a little more accommodating. 
"I'm offended." Aine answered, and although Orion could tell she was joking, he was surprised that her humour could stretch so far, "This is the thanks I get for scrubbing your bodily fluids from the floor in your bathroom? And bringing my own air fresheners for your room?"
"You need to mind your own business." James snarled back.
"And you need to take a shower."
The two stared at each other a long while, tension crackling between them, until at last, Orion grew sick of it.
"James," He sighed wearily, "Get over it, man. This place was a shithole until Aine got here, and I sure as hell wasn't going to clean it." He glanced toward the girl, and added stiffly, "Thanks, seriously."
With that, he stood up, dusting himself off, then grabbing his sunglasses and heading toward the door. "I'm getting breakfast." He grumbled, still a little moody from his early morning, "Don't kill each other, or God knows I'll end up taking the blame."

James grumbled a little bit after Orion left, but didn't kill Aine. The girl didn't attempt to kill him either, which he supposed was a good thing. He headed into the bathroom and stepped into the shower, noticing - and appreciating - reluctantly how clean it was. He paused to quickly unwind his wrist and place the bandages on the counter. The water ran warm over his back when he turned the shower on and stepped in, and as he stood there, his muscles slowly began to relax. The pain in his head was only a dull aching; those pills that Orion had given him must have really done a lot. Slowly his began to shut and he began to drift off to sleep once more.
He was woken by adrenaline coursing through his body and the impact of his face hitting the wall of the shower and him collapsing down onto the floor. He let out a curse and scrambled around for a little bit. There was some concerned shouting on the other side of the door, sounding like Aine.
"Don't come in!" He yelled, wincing as he climbed to his feet. His wrist was burning with pain. "Fuck. I'm fine, just don't come in."
It took a few moments, but he was able to shut off the water and place everything he'd knocked over back in their spots. He got out and dried himself, wrapping the towel around his waist and stepping out into the room. He kept his gaze to the ground, too embarrassed to meet anyone's eyes. He couldn't see if Orion had come back yet, but he hoped not.
James rifled through his drawers and pulled out some clothes for the day - another pair of khakis (after all, last night's jeans reeked of his activities) and a white polo shirt, and then headed back into the bathroom to change. He spent a long time cleaning up and making himself presentable. He combed his hair, but left it hanging over his eyes instead of pushing it to the side. It was Saturday after all; no need to be too formal then.
When he came out, Aine and Orion were chatting amiably, Aine still sitting at James's desk. A plate of fruit sat in front of her, and she ate it one piece at a time, delicately spearing the food with a fork and taking dainty bites. She seemed to be carrying the conversation herself.
She turned to look at James, her eyes full of concern. James brushed her off.
"Are you okay?" She asked.
"Mhm." He muttered, moving over to his bed and pulling on a pair of shoes.
"Where are you going?"
"Out."
"Ooh, can I come?" The redhead's face lit up.
James turned around to glare at her. "No."
She folded her arms across her lap. "That's no way to treat a lady." She pouted.
"I don't even know you."
Aine sighed and stood up, walking slowly out the door. "I guess so. That means you probably don't want tickets to go see the London Symphony Orchestra when they come into town in two weeks, but whatever. I had two extras, I guess I'll just have to find someone else to give them to..."
James's jaw hung open. "The London Symphony Orchestra?" He repeated, incredulous. "Tickets for this performance have been sold out since... since... well, since they went on sale a year ago!"
"Aye." Aine said grimly, nodding her head. "I got them immediately. "I'm a big fan of classical music, you see." A grin spread slowly across her face as the confusion on James's face deepened.
"Well... I mean, if you want to give me those tickets..." He swallowed and looked down at his shoes. This was a once in a lifetime chance. "I guess you could come with me."
"Oh goody!" Aine said, leaping up. "Come on Orion, let's go!" Her glare at him made it impossible for him to do anything but follow the girl meekly as she and James walked out of the building and to his car. The sun was out, and suddenly James was wishing for sunglasses. The light was doing nothing for his headache.
"Where are we going?" Aine asked as she hopped into the passenger seat. Orion was forced to sit in the back, and James couldn't help but see the man every time he glanced into the rear view mirror.
"I don't know." James admitted. "Where do you want to go?"
Aine shrugged, and then smiled. "Here, I'll just give you direction. It's a surprise!"
James sighed, but didn't protest. He knew that Aine would always have her way. As he continued to glance behind him at the roads, he sometimes caught Orion's eye - or what was probably his eye. The man was wearing sunglasses, so James couldn't really tell. He blushed as fractured memories of their conversation last night flooded his mind. He had told Orion that he was gay. Well, not exactly, that sometimes he thought he was. And although Orion didn't seem like the type to go around telling just because he could, he didn't know what the man would do if they ever got into a fight. He might go tell people then. He shivered at the thought, then locked his eyes on the road in front of him, adjusting the mirror so that all he could see was the top of Orion's head. No more risk of accidental eye contact.
"And here we are!" Aine said with a big smile. The drive had only taken about ten minutes, but James hadn't known where they were until they turned the final corner. The beach. Of course.
It was a nice day out, so college students were everywhere. James sighed as he parked the car near the back of the lot and hopped out. "I didn't wear the right clothes for this." He complained, but refrained from mentioning that he actually didn't even have the appropriate clothes for a trip to the beach.

'How did I let myself get talked into this?' Orion wondered silently as he stretched his face up toward the open window, taking a gasp of fresh air. He breathed in deeply through his nose, then groaned, falling back into his seat and clutching his stomach with a sickly expression. It did not help, nor did the fact that he had somehow been shoved into the back seat of the car. Trust that Aine. He snorted under his breath. That girl always seemed to get what she wanted... First his breakfast, then his Saturday, now his seat.
As James swung around a corner, another wave of nausea hit him, and Orion cursed under his breath. He couldn't stand being in a car when he wasn't the one driving.

For the most part he just sat there, sick and dazed, except for one uncomfortable moment when he glanced up to catch James's eyes in the rear-view mirror, and they both glanced quickly away. Orion pushed back his fringe - starting to feel slightly sweaty from heat and motion sickness - then let it fall softly back over his face. His head fell back against the headrest, and he closed his eyes, trying hard not to think about how the car shuddered over bumps,  and accelerated as it sped past the slower traffic.
By the time they arrived at their destination, Orion was ready to fall straight out the door and kiss the ground at his feet.
"Oh, thank God..." He muttered, fumbling with the clasp of his seatbelt, then shoving the door open and swinging his legs out. He didn't try to stand right away, knowing he'd probably only fall down again, and instead dropped his head into his hands, bracing his elbows on his shaky knees as he slowly caught his breath. He heard Aine saying 'Here we are', and James retorting something about not wearing the right clothes, but right then, Orion didn't give a flying f*ck where they were, as long as it had running water and something for him to throw up in.
"Ugh..." He groaned at last, taking a deep breath, then brushing back his hair and hauling himself to his feet. He closed the door behind him, then raised his head to look around at last.
He froze. With eyes wide as saucers, Orion's gaze fell upon the sea, and his heart began to race.
I know this beach! He thought, a sickness that had nothing to do with driving rising in his throat. His eyes darted to a distant cliff overhanging the sea, and he shuddered, rubbing the sudden chill of gossebumps from his arms. Even in the heat of day, he felt suddenly cold.
Why did they bring me here?! I have to get away. I have to get the f*ck away!
Tension ran quickly through his muscles, and Orion felt his clenched fists begin to tremble as his eyes scanned the beach. James and Aine were chatting casually, as if his entire world hadn't just been flipped upside down, and suddenly, reality could not have felt more unreal.
"Listen," He spoke up at last, his voice faintly hoarse from the tightness of his throat, "I'm not feeling too well, so I'm gonna take a quick walk." He shoved his hands into his pockets, turning his back to the others, shoulders tense. "I'll meet up with you later."

With that, Orion trudged off along the beach, a strange figure in his black hoodie - even with the sleeves rolled up - and his long, tattered jeans. The salty smell of the sea haunted him as he stared down at his shoes, making footprints in the sand. In the back of his mind, a voice was screaming. He couldn't shut it out.
Licking his dry lips, he stopped at last, and looked up. Lost in thought, he'd wandered all the way across the beach without even realizing it. Now, as he looked up, that all-too-familiar cliff towered above him, spiked with jutting-out rocks too inviting not to climb, or so he'd once thought. Without really thinking, he grabbed ahold of the nearest rock and hoisted himself up, then began slowly climbing to the top, cutting his palms on the sharp-edges rocks. Once or twice his slick soles threatened to slip, but he just kept on climbing, until at last he pulled himself up onto the ledge, dusting his scuffed hands on his jeans and looking around. The view was magnificent, just as it always had been. He blinked quickly at the thought, taking a deep breath and shaking his head.
Then, something else caught his eye, and he froze. This time, he could not swallow the lump in his throat.
On the very peak of the cliff, circled by gulls, was a small cross made of driftwood, with a ring of sea-smoothed rocks placed neatly around it. Old, long-dead flower stalks fluttered faintly from the rough rope tied around the cross, and as he saw them, Orion's mouth went dry. He licked his lips anxiously, then trudged slowly forwards, the eyes behind his glasses filled with a heavy sadness that weighed on his very soul.
As he knelt beside the cross, any thoughts of James and Aine were forgotten. In that moment, he was more alone than he had ever been. Even with the sounds of the laughing people on the beach, all he heard was the heavy crashing of the waves. Even with the sun beating down on him, all he felt was the chill of the sea spay, striking his face like pouring rain.
'I never thought I'd come back here.' He thought to himself, swallowing thickly and climbing to his feet, stepping forward just far enough the reach the edge of the cliff. He stared over the edge for a long time, like a jumper contemplating his demise, then slowly dropped into a crouch and sat down, dropping his legs to let them hang into oblivion, swinging faintly back and forth in the gentle breeze as he watched the waves crash fiercely into the deadly jagged rocks below. To him, the sight was hauntingly nostalgic. It killed him, but with the pull of a dead body, it held his gaze. He could not look away.

"Listen, I'm not feeling too well, so I'm gonna take a quick walk. I'll meet up with you later."
Orion's hoarse voice pulled James's attention from his polite conversation with Aine away immediately. Something was wrong, something more than just feeling a little sick. His eyes flashed as the man began walking down the beach, towards a ridge of cliffs. He looked so out of place, a little dot of blacks among the bright colors of the lively beach. Hands shoved in pockets, eyes lowered to the ground, shuffling along... it looked sad. Completely, utterly, sad.
Aine was tilting her head to the side as she watched him go. "That's... queer." She said after a moment of thinking. A small smile twitched the corner of her mouth up, but it was gone in an instant, so James wasn't sure if he'd seen it or not.
"I'm going to go see what's up with him." James muttered, and then turned to follow him. There was a silent understanding between them that she shouldn't follow. Instead, the girl raced ahead toward the water and began to wade in, first up to her ankles and then her knees. The bottom of her dress was going to get wet if she went in any father, James remembered thinking, but not really caring.
He turned his complete attention to the retreating figure in the distance. Orion was moving quickly, and James was content to let the gap between them grow, as long as he didn't become out of sight. It probably wouldn't be good if Orion knew that he was being followed.
What the hell are you doing, James? Something inside him thought. He's just carsick. You saw how he looked on the way here. You shouldn't be so concerned. Besides, you don't even like him, remember?
"Shut up." He whispered quietly, and continued walking. It was true though. He still wasn't overly fond of the other man. He was a good guy, that was certain, but not the kind of guy he would want to be friends with.
There were less people over here now. James could clearly see Orion's footprints in the sand. They were deep and heavy, like he was fighting to keep walking. A glance up showed him that Orion was standing at the base of the nearest cliff, staring up at it.
Oh no. Please don't...
He began to climb.
"Shit." James muttered and began to glance around. He would never be able to climb that, not with the condition his wrist was in. Besides, even if it were perfect, he was still too weak to do it. There seemed to be a crude path cut into the rocks on the other side, closer to the parking lot. It would be a pain in the ass to go around the cliff, but still...
James broke into a light jog, cursing at how quickly he tired. The rushing blood in his system did nothing for his head, and soon the pain was pounding with the same rhythm as his feet. When he got to the path, he bent over for a few moments, catching his breath. Then he began his ascent, scaling the stone with careful steps and bracing his hands on the wall. He realized he'd forgotten to put his binding back on after the shower, but really, he didn't care too much. All his thoughts were on Orion, who was surely at the top of the cliff by now. His roommate was in trouble, trouble that amounted to more than an uneasy stomach.
The scene he was met with was not one that James was expecting in the least. Orion knelt beside a cross shoved into the ground, staring at it with haunting eyes. He wasn't wearing his shades, and James could see the pain sparkling in them like shattered diamonds. He swallowed the lump that had risen in his throat because of the raw emotion in the man before him and began to step forward, but suddenly Orion stood. He still hadn't seen James yet. Slowly, he stepped forward toward the edge and stared out across the sea, looking as if he were about to fall. Or jump.
But then he crouched and sat down instead, swinging his legs absently over the edge and staring across the water, his mind elsewhere.
Slowly, James walked forward and dropped to a crouch beside the man. He tried to think of something to say, but no words would come.
The silence stretched out for an eternity, it seemed. "I'm sorry." James finally said, his voice hoarse. He swallowed back tears of empathy and reached out a hand, placing it gently on top of Orion's. He didn't know why he did that; it just seemed that Orion might need contact with another human. All he could do was offer his touch and his presence and say "I'm sorry". It didn't seem like it could be enough.

It felt an eternity that he sat there, staring out to sea. But in reality, he could not have been there more than a few minutes before a shadow fell silently over him from behind. He raised his head, but after he caught a glimpse of James's shoes in the corner of his eye, he made no move to turn around. Instead, he waited - still and silent as the stones underfoot - until his roommate crouched down beside him. Part of him wanted to ask what had possessed James to follow him all the way up here, but with the grief that weighed on his mind, his curiosity now seemed somehow trivial by comparison. He felt as if none of the small things that interested him could ever matter again.
As he swallowed past the misery, a hoarse voice murmured softly beside him, "I'm sorry."
Letting his eyes slide shut, Orion inclined his head briefly, the muscles in the side of his neck pulling taut as he struggled to keep himself together. Just those two simple words of kindness were enough to make him want to crumble and fall to pieces right where he sat.
Silently, a warm palm covered his hand, and Orion felt his fingers curl sharply into the dirt. He tensed for a moment, but even then, he made no move to pull away. He needed the comfort. Deep down, he knew that.
For a long time after that, he just sat in silence, letting the sea breeze ruffle back his long hair, and soak his face with sea spray. James remained beside him, a silent pillar of comfort, until at last, Orion sighed heavily and pushed back his hair, looking up to the horizon.

"That friend I told you about..." He murmured quietly, his own deep voice startling him as it broke the heavy silence, "Five years ago, he died here." He picked up a loose stone beside him, then tossed it out to sea, watching until it vanished into the plunging waves. Silence set in once more, and just as the chorus of the gulls began growing dull overhead, Orion picked up a second stone, and turned it over in his fingers as he began his story.
"Luke and I grew up together in an orphanage not far from here. I hated that place." His lips tightened into a grim line, "But being with him somehow made it all bearable. He was everything to me; my only family, and my only friend. He had this way of always making me smile, even when it was the last thing I felt like doing." The memory brought and amused breath to his lips, and he shook his head as he went on, "We were always together, and in that shitstorm I call my childhood, my whole world revolved with him as its center. Then, just like that..." He swallowed, closing his eyes again as his hands curled into fists in the loose shale, "He was ripped away from that center. When I watched him fall, it was like watching the world crash to dust around me. I was never the same after that." His eyes opened halfway, reflecting the glinting sunlight dancing on the sea below, and he said in a hushed voice, "If I believed in Heaven or Hell, or life after death, I think I would have followed him. But back then I told himself," He shook his head, "No God or Devil could be cruel enough to rip Luke out of my life, just like that. The only thing more pointless than living, I thought, would be dying."
A breath that could have been a laugh fell from his lips as he bowed his head, the sun just catching his fringe, "I suppose it all sounds a little morbid and dramatic now, but that was how I felt."

As he finished, the whistling of the wind in the dry clifftop grass began its chorus once more, battling off the offending silence until, at last, Orion looked up at James. "You know," He murmured huskily, "You remind me a bit of him. I guess that's why I can't help stepping in to protect you now. I can't help thinking that, back then, if I'd only-" He shook his head quickly, then cleared his throat, pressing his hair back awkwardly. "Sorry," He apologized quickly, starting to shuffle back from the edge, "I didn't mean to dump all that on you. I don't usually, I mean-" He rubbed his chin, and mumbled shyly, "I've never really talked about it before. If I'd known this was where we were coming, I never would've..." He trailed off, shrugging, then rose stiffly to his feet, and looked back at Luke's lonely cross - weathered and beaten by the elements, but standing straight nevertheless. That was a good tribute to him, Orion thought. To the boy who had smiled until his very last breath, and always given his all in everything he did.
"Hey, James..." Orion's eyes did not leave the cross, but his voice was raw with sincerity as he murmured, "Thank you."
He didn't think he'd ever meant anything more.

Just when James thought that he wouldn't be able to stand the silence any longer, Orion spoke up, his voice torn by pure emotion.
"That friend I told you about... Five years ago, he died here."
A friend...? He didn't exactly remember any conversations pertaining to friendships. Unless he meant... A half forgotten memory rushed to his mind unbidden. It was from last night's conversation. He had never been much into relationships, not after whatever unspoken thing had happened.
James kept his mouth shut, a thin line of his lips pressed tightly together as he waited for Orion to continue.
"Luke and I grew up together in an orphanage not far from here. I hated that place. But being with him somehow made it all bearable. He was everything to me; my only family, and my only friend. He had this way of always making me smile, even when it was the last thing I felt like doing."
The last part reminded James of a line of one of Taylor's favorite songs. All I want is to see you smile, if it takes just a little while. However, the entire piece was very optimistic, saying to not stop thinking about how tomorrow would be better than today. He snuck a glance at the other man. He didn't seem very optimistic, nor did he seem to be forgetting about the past. He seemed to be drowning in memories and broken hopes from long ago.
"We were always together, and in that shitstorm I call my childhood, my whole world revolved with him as its center. Then, just like that..." Orion swallowed and took a moment to regain his composure. His hand shook slightly beneath James's before it curled up into a fist, clenching small gravel stones from the ground in it. "He was ripped away from that center. When I watched him fall, it was like watching the world crash to dust around me. I was never the same after that."
"I can believe that." James murmured quietly. Orion didn't seem to hear him and kept talking.
"If I believed in Heaven or Hell, or life after death, I think I would have followed him. But back then I told himself, no God or Devil could be cruel enough to rip Luke out of my life, just like that. The only thing more pointless than living, I thought, would be dying. I suppose it all sounds a little morbid and dramatic now, but that was how I felt." He chuckled bitterly and James pressed his palm closer against the man's hand for comfort. He felt on the edge of tears himself just thinking about it. If Carson or Alia or Taylor...
He shook his head and lifted his head to study Orion's face. His skin was pale, even in the light of the day. His eyes were half-closed in sorrow, and they weren't focused; he just stared listlessly out over the water.
When he raised his eyes to James's, he wasn't prepared for the color or the intensity of the feelings buried deep within. James had to swallow and remind himself to pay attention, to not get lost in the shade of green or get buried beneath the layers of pain.
"You know, you remind me a bit of him. I guess that's why I can't help stepping in to protect you now. I can't help thinking that, back then, if I'd only-"
Well, fuck, he thought. I remind him of his dead best friend and boyfriend.
It was then that he registered the fact that that meant Orion was... you know, gay.
He swallowed nervously and lessened the grip on the other man's hand fractionally, wanting to flee the scene. Then he realized how much of an inconsiderate asshole he was being, that Orion was spilling his entire soul to James, and he didn't even have the decency to overlook the fact that he was a homosexual? He kicked himself mentally a few times, and looked at the ground, red flooding his cheeks.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to dump all that on you. I don't usually, I mean- I've never really talked about it before. If I'd known this was where we were coming, I never would've..." Suddenly he couldn't find the words he wanted and trailed off, standing up and moving away from the edge of the cliff. James's hand felt strangely cold without the heat of Orion's beneath it, and he shivered involuntarily. He stood as well, and turned around to see the other man staring at the weather-beaten cross.
"Hey James... Thank you." The voice was small, but it held so much sincerity that James pondered for a moment whether he was thanking James or Luke.
Luke.
He let the name bounce around his mind for a few times before he moved to stand next to Orion. "We should probably head back now." He murmured quietly, letting his hand lightly touch the small of Orion's back. "Unless you want to stay a little longer. We could do that. Or I could give you some time alone, no big deal." The words flowed from his mouth quickly as he tried to figure out what to say.

For a short while longer, Orion started at the cross without really seeing it. He was remembering Luke; his laugh, his smile, and the way his eyes had sparkled that day when he'd looked Orion in the eye and told him he loved him. In truth, that was one of his favourite memories... Until it had gone more terribly awry than anybody could ever have expected.
"We should probably head back now." A quiet voice murmured behind him, pulling him from his thoughts. It was the first thing James had said, but that was fine. He hadn't needed someone to talk. He'd needed someone to listen.
"Unless you want to stay a little longer. We could do that. Or I could give you some time alone, no big deal."
"Nuh-uh." Orion grunted under his breath, shaking his head. He felt James's hand resting comfortingly on his back, and for a moment longer he stood where he was, closing his eyes. Since Luke's death, he'd never had anybody to comfort him. That was the unkindest cut of all... That when he had faced the worst tragedy of his life, he had had to face it without the one person who could possibly get him through it.
"No, it's fine." He said at last, sighing and pushing back his hair, "Let's head back. But this time, I call shotgun. I don't think I can take a drive like that twice in one day."
He shuddered dramatically, and just like that, the heavy atmosphere had lifted. It was as if the last half hour had never happened.

Together, the pair made their descent down the rickety path. And with the loose shale slipping on the ground underfoot, Orion kept a close watch on James all the time, ready to reach out and catch him if need be. After his roommate had taken the time to listen to his story - and without any of his usual pretentious condescension - Orion suddenly found that he was, in fact, willing to call James his friend. It had been a long time since he'd had somebody like that.
They made a little idle smalltalk as they trudged back down the beach. Pointless comments like, "F*ck, it's hot", or "That last wave was pretty big, huh?"
Aine, it seemed, had run into some old friends from high school and left to go into town, so that left James and Orion alone as they climbed into the car - Orion somewhat reluctantly. He groaned as he buckled up his seatbelt, then opened the window, staring out toward the sea one last time as the car turned around. He couldn't help but think that the last time he'd been there, he had been Luke's lifeless body in his arms, and screaming up to the grey skies as if his heart would break. The thought hit him like a punch to the gut.
"God," He muttered under his breath to himself, shoving his sunglasses back on as though to put a lid on his tiresome emotions, "I hate the beach." With that, the engine started, and the car pulled off onto the road, heading back to the dorm.

James chuckled lightly at Orion's claim of the shotgun seat. Apparently he really had been sick or something. Thinking back on it, the man hadn't looked too great on the way here...
The small talk that they made on the journey back was not as awkward as James would have expected. It had seemed to him that... Well, they had formed a connection, a bond of some sort. And while it was nice - after all, he had never had a friend this close - it was almost like they were moving too quickly. They had met what, on Sunday evening? It was barely Saturday morning, and they'd already gotten hammered together - well, he'd gotten hammered while Orion drank responsibly - and Orion had just told James about the single most devastating event of his life.
He glanced at the other man a few times as they walked, looking to see if he was okay. And although he wasn't okay, it looked like he was going to be fine. Fine, at least, for now.
When the two got back to the car, Aine was walking into town with some other girls. They weren't laughing excitedly, and all wearing strange clothes just like her. Not that the clothes weren't cute, it was just weird.
"God, I hate the beach." Orion muttered, letting his head fall against the front seat of the truck after putting on his sunglasses. James said nothing as he climbed into the driver's seat and starting the engine. He didn't know what to do or so, so he simply pulled out of the parking spot and began the drive back to the dormitory.
Nothing eventful occurred, except for James feeling tempted to run over a bunch of girls in bikinis crossing the street with surfboards. He'd seen a flash of yellow hair and thought for a moment that it was Blondie, but it wasn't, just another busty babe. They paid no attention to the pair in the car, and when they had passed, they kept going.

Back at the dorm, James walked next to Orion instead of rushing ahead to avoid stares and whispers as he would have liked to. As the first Saturday of the semester, the people were just hanging around in the lounge, talking. A few of the more studious were working on projects or doing homework.
With a sigh, James pushed open the door to their room. When he glanced at the clock, he was surprised to see that it was only 1:00 in the afternoon. He had been sure that they'd been gone longer than that!
On his desk, his cell phone was blinking, meaning that he had a voice mail. He groaned and shrugged out of his damp jacket - even though he had gone nowhere near the water, his clothing still managed to accumulate salt water - and grabbed the phone, dialing voice mail, and leaning against the wall to listen.
Tess.
"Hey big bro," Her recorded voice said cheerily. James rolled his eyes. "Just wanted to let you know that we're on our way down to campus and we'll be at the tour at about noon." Great, they were already here.
Wait. They were already here.
James swore loudly. How could he have forgotten that his family was coming to visit this weekend? His eyes scanned the floor hastily, thanking any god there might be that Aine had come this morning and cleaned up. How would he have explained the smell of barf and empty cans of beer to his parents? Blame it on his roommate? Although that would have been possible, he would have felt bad about it afterwards. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, raising his eyes to Orion's and smiling apologetically.
"Anyway, we're going to stop by your dorm and take you out to dinner at about 6:00-ish, okay? Call me back!" What sounded like a kiss followed, and then the beep to signal the end of the call.
James put his phone down on the desk with a look of disgust and climbed the ladder onto his bed.
"You ready to meet my family?" He asked, a little dry smile twisting the corner of his mouth.

The drive back went by in companionable silence. Or at least, that was what Orion thought. Part of him had expected it to be tense and awkward after their little heart to heart on the beach, but as it were, the only uncomfortable thing about the drive was the flip-flopping of his stomach on every corner.
Some time later, they arrived back on campus with Orion hanging his head out of the window like a sick dog, and as the car stopped, he quickly pulled open the door and stumbled out, groaning.
"Never again..." He muttered under his breath, raising a hand to cover his mouth as his face turned a delicate shade of green, "Never again."

It took him a while to recover, but to his surprise, James waited until the dizziness wore off and he was ready to walk without falling over. Then, for the first time, the two walked side by side into the dorm. In that moment, it suddenly struck Orion that James was actually taller than him. He had always known, of course, but until that moment, he had not quite registered it. With his glasses hiding his face, he cast a curious glance toward the handsome profile beside him. James looked oddly determined for a little walk down the hall. Clearly, the fact that he was willing to let the rest of the university see him walking beside Orion was something of a big deal. He took it as a gesture of sympathy. 

They lingered in the main lounge only a minute, until finally the pair vanished into their room, Orion making a bee-line for the bathroom while James headed over to check his phone. While his roommate caught up on voicemail, Orion splashed some water across his eyes to freshen his face, then clutched his temples with a sigh. The hot, stuffy drive had left his head throbbing.
Grumbling to himself, he rubbed some cool water onto the back of his neck, then stepped back out and looked at James, earning an apologetic glance in return. With a shrug, he ambled over his bed, keen to take an afternoon nap and rest his weary mind. But just as he was about to start climbing up, James hung up the phone, then looked at him, and said, "You ready to meet my family?"
"What?" Orion froze, his foot missing a rung on the ladder and almost spilling him to the ground. He cursed under his breath, then dusted off his hands and turned back to James, looking somewhat worried by the prospect.
"Why do I have to meet them?" He demanded cautiously, "I don't exactly give off the best first impression, you know. Or any impression at all, really." He wrinkled his nose. "Seriously, I don't want to get in your way. Just enjoy visiting with your family, and I'll make myself scarce." He flapped his hand in dismissal, "I could use a decent ride on my bike anyway."

Orion's incredulous reaction brought a smile to James's face. He nearly fell off the ladder in surprise, and then quickly covered it up with an excuse.
"Why do I have to meet them? I don't exactly give off the best first impression, you know. Or any impression at all, really. Seriously, I don't want to get in your way. Just enjoy visiting with your family, and I'll make myself scarce. I could use a decent ride on my bike anyway."
James sighed. "I'm not going to kick you out of our room because I've got family coming over. And I will personally tie you to your bed if you're planning on getting on that bike - not in your condition, you're not!" He ran a hand through his hair - which had become mussed from the wind on the cliff - and began again, more serious. "Just because you don't give off a good first impression doesn't mean you won't give off any other impressions. Besides, it's not like we're married or anything." His stomach jumped at the thought, although he wasn't sure if it was good or bad. "You're just my friend, and if my parents don't like it, they can go to hell." He shrugged and climbed up the ladder to his own bed.
"But I'm just going to let you know now that my sister Tess is coming. She's in 11th grade, and she's not like me at all. Complete whore and dumb as shit too." He made a face at that, clearly not seeing the flaw in his misogynistic and totally sexist thinking. "Just don't let her get you alone - she'll probably rape you or something."
With that, he fell back against his pillow and took a deep breath, finally letting his muscles relax. The silence stretched on for a while until James turned and propped himself on an elbow facing Orion.
"I'm really sorry about the whole thing today. If I had known..." He swallowed nervously and glanced down at his hands. "If it helps... If it helps you to think of me as Luke, go ahead. It's okay with me."

"I'm not going to kick you out of our room because I've got family coming over." James objected with a sigh, "And I will personally tie you to your bed if you're planning on getting on that bike - not in your condition, you're not!"
"There's nothing wrong with my condition..." Orion began defensively, but then James went on, and when his roommate began to reson with him, Orion fell silent to listen, not looking quite convinced just yet.
"Just because you don't give off a good first impression doesn't mean you won't give off any other impressions. Besides, it's not like we're married or anything." Orion uttered an amused breath at the thought, trying and failing not to picture James in a bridal gown. He had to look away to keep from laughing out loud.
"You're just my friend, and if my parents don't like it, they can go to hell."
He was about to voice some kind of sarcastic retort, when suddenly, what James had said began to sink in. His friend? Orion looked up at him as he climbed up onto his bed, and frowned silently. Did he realize that he had said that? It was the first time...
"Hm." He mumbled softly, "I guess you're right."
I guess we are friends...
To his surprise, this thought actually made him - dare he admit it - a little happy. He had made a friend, for the first time in years.
The thought stayed with him as he slowly climbed the ladder to his bed, managing not to trip this time. He was aware of James going on about his sister, Tess, in the background, but to be completely honest, he wasn't really taking any of it in.
"Mmhm." He mumbled through a yawn as he sat down on his bed, scratching at his scruffy hair, "I'll keep that in mind."
Not that he had any idea what he was keeping in mind. 
After a moment, his mouth snapped shut again, and as he rubbed the tears from the corner of his eye, he cracked the other one open toward James, to see that he had already rolled over, presumably to go to sleep. Shrugging briefly, Orion stretched his arms over his head, then flopped down to do the same. It had been a strange day. First the visit to the beach - that beach - and now, James admitted that they were, in fact, friends. A strange day indeed. 
He folded his arms up under his neck, staring up at the ceiling, and tiredly watching a mosquito buzzing around up there. He knew that he would regret not killing it later, but moving right then was a revolting thought. That is, until he heard James speak beside him.
"I'm really sorry about the whole thing today. If I had known..."
"Hm?" He glancing quickly over, blinking questioningly. James was looking down anxiously at his hands, and for the life of him, Orion couldn't figure out why the other man was apologizing to him. It wasn't his fault that Luke was gone...
He swallowed at the thought.
"If it helps..." James hesitated, "If it helps you to think of me as Luke, go ahead. It's okay with me."
"What?" Orion's head snapped around, and he stared at James incredulously for a moment, his eyes wide with surprise. "No, no..." He shook his head quickly, sitting up with a brief sigh, and pushing back his fringe, "James, you seriously helped me out today, and I mean that. I don't want to think of you as anyone else." He rubbed his hands tiredly over his face. "You're fine the way you are, and besides, Luke is irreplaceable to me." Slowly, silence began folding around him again as his thoughts grew heavy, weighing on his heart for the second time that day.
"Look," His voice softened slightly as he stared down into his hands. "I know he's gone, and yes, that's hard, but it happened nearly five years ago. Of course I miss him, but I'm done grieving. I'm done feeling sorry for myself, so please," He glanced at James, and for the first time, his lips managed a small, sad smile, "Don't you feel sorry for me, either. I can't stand sympathy. Just the fact that you were there for me today is more than enough. Honestly, thank you."