Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)

Kougu hovered beside Charlie, patiently awaiting her permission to treat her wounds, and passively taking pleasure in how much calmer he was now as opposed to before. Charlie just had a… A way with him. It was as if she was one of those dolphin trainers, or a horse whisperer, only… For him. Somehow, even when he was at his absolute worst, she managed to calm him and get him under control. Somehow she managed to coax obedience from him, even when he had no will to obey. Hell, she had convinced him to overcome his intense desire to die! He had no intention of taking his life now, and he didn’t even fully understand why, since he knew he shouldn’t be alive, really. Yes, Charlie definitely had some form of control over him. It seems I’m the only one who doesn’t… The bitter thought crossed Kougu’s mind in full sincerity, but when he detected the hint of misery creeping into his heart, he dismissed the thought instantly and turned his attention back to Charlie. Once again, seeming to know exactly what was needed of her, she began t speak – thus distracting him from his ‘doom and gloom’ mentality. Kougu blinked gratefully at her as he listened – his attention fixed so intently on her that one could have sworn he was attempting to decipher a code, rather than gain a simple declaration of permission.

“Yeah, you'd better not. I didn't get all emotional on you for nothing. Anyway, do I have a choice? Go on, I'll let you, but if anything happens to you in the process, if you drop dead, I'm personally holding you responsible. In fact, scrap that. If you drop dead, I'll kill you.”
For a moment Kougu frowned in confusion as he went over her words in his head. At first, they seemed to make no sense at all. Did she have a choice? Well, of course she did, or he would not be asking. Then again, whether or not he would accept what choice she made was a completely different story. So he supposed, in a way, it might seem to her that she did not have any choice at all, since no matter what choice she made – the end result would be the same. Right, then! He understood that part – but that part was relatively simple compared to the remainder of her answer… If he dropped dead, she’d kill him? Now that, that was the confusing part. Sure, it was very noble of her to agree to kill him – thus sacrificing her own happiness for his – but hadn’t she just spent a great amount of precious time and energy convincing him to live? But wait… ”If you drop dead, I’ll kill you.” Ah, so that’s where the loophole was! She couldn’t kill him if he was dead. How had he managed to miss that before…? Wow, considering what a ‘prodigy’, as his father put it, he was – he certainly wasn’t very smart… Or perhaps simply not observant. After all, at times he tended to find himself being too smart. It was rather a burden… Like right now. Ordinary people would just have accepted the answer, understood instantly, and reacted accordingly. Kougu, on the other hand, had to break up and dissect the whole thing – examine each part – and use his reasoning to come to a conclusion that may not even be the point that the speaker was trying to get across in the first place. Oh well, it didn’t matter… ”If you drop dead, I’ll kill you.” Yes, he understood that now. A smile flickered at Kougu’s lips at the thought, and a quiet, subtle laugh escaped his lips. It was obviously an attempt to lighten the mood, and it had worked – for him, anyway. He smiled gratefully at Charlie, glad of her kindly attempts to put him at ease. Aside from that… “You actually do care, don’t you…?” He asked in absolute wonderment, staring at her as though she was some sort of alien – like he’d never really seen her before, and had now just noticed some abnormality – like five giant, green heads poking out of her neck, for example. “Thank you.” He muttered quietly, “I don’t know how you always know the right thing to say… But somehow you do.” Kougu chuckled softly to himself, then cast aside the thoughts to give his full attention to the abundance of medical supplies scattered at his fingertips. He began sorting through them, picking out what he would use and when. He was distracted from his work, however, when Charlie spoke again – and he raised his head to give her his full attention as she commented on the gun… That little, innocent gun… If it had just blown his brain to smithereens years ago, he wouldn’t be having any of these problems. “Yes.” Kougu replied gently, a soft smile curving his lips. “And I hate to say I told you so, but…” He trailed off into silence, a weary yet teasing smile lifting the corners of his mouth in sincere amusement. It was a light and pitiful attempt at humour, but it was something, and at least he had found the willpower in his heart to make the effort. He turned his attention back to the supplies then, picking up a swab of gauze and trying to decide which of his many lotions he ought to use. There was silence for a while, and then a soft, comforting sort of sound interrupted it. It took Kougu back to his childhood… That gentle humming, as though of innocent, hardworking bees… The way his mother had always been going around, humming cheerfully. It was ironic, really… All though she had spent most of her life as his mother so cheerful she could not help but express the music in her soul, when Kougu thought of her, it was not her smiling face that he saw… No, it was a face as though of a stranger: Gaunt, and tearstained… Pleading with him to spare her life. Begging him not to kill the child… And he himself being powerless to stop it. He shuddered slightly, and felt himself drawing subconsciously further away from Charlie. The humming was sweet and comforting, but the memories it brought… They overpowered the charming melody.

Kougu picked up a bottle of his chosen antiseptic lotion, then poured some onto the gauze in his gloved hand. He gazed at the damp circle for a moment, then shifted his attention to Charlie – only to find himself distracted once more as she began to sing softly to herself. Those lyrics… Those lyrics! They froze him, stopped him in his tracks, and Kougu could do nothing but sit and listen. It was all so true, in a way… But was it enough, was it really enough to be alive if one was not living? Was that not then too cruel an existence to endure? He thought so… But he could no longer use that excuse. He was living now – he had a life of his own, and he was living it. His world revolved with Charlie as its axis, and thus he had a life worth living. But then what of ”Breathin' in and out's a blessing, can't you see?” His life, his very existence, it robbed people of that blessing. If blessings were distributed by the Lord Almighty, then who was he to take them away? Did that make him a devil? Had he slipped so deep into the pool of sin that he had become Lucifer’s Angel just to grow wings and fly out?
Then again, maybe he was just making excuses… Perhaps these gloomy thoughts came out of desperation to defend his own logic when such simple lyrics made it seem completely wrong, fully flawed, and barely worthy of being called logic at all. It made sense… He should be gad to be alive, but he was not, and he felt like a fool because of it. What was with this guilt?! Was it so bad to want to end his own life to save others? Wasn’t that some form of karma, or perhaps mercy? Why should he be punished like this? The unbearable guilt…
Yes, those lyrics had hit home. They had forced him to face a painful truth that he had been staring in the face, yet which he had been ignoring. He wondered vaguely if Charlie planned it all… If she followed some sort of instruction manual on ‘the art of Kougu-fixing’. Or did she just make it all up as she went along? Either way – she did it perfectly.

Kougu only looked up at Charlie again as her singing faded into silence, and that was to find her slumped at his side with eyelids drooping exhaustedly – barely awake. He smiled slightly, then quickly gathered up his supplies and began cleaning off her shoulder. He did a quick, precise job – his long fingers maneuvering all the little utensils with impeccable skill. His medical knowledge had been pounded into his skull, and he had practiced it many a time, too – though most often on himself… He had to admit – his endless years of training could be helpful at times… They had helped him to help Charlie plenty a time now, but was it worth the price he had paid? Not by a long shot.
Kougu’s skillful fingers continued to work flawlessly on Charlie’s wound as his thoughts drifted, and before he knew it the job was done. Charlie was either asleep, or very close to falling asleep, but the wound was clean and neatly bandaged. It ought to heal well now… Or so he hoped. He was glad it was done, in any case. His own wounds could wait… For now, he would look after Charlie – just as she had cared for him when he was at his weakest. He would never let her down like that again… He just couldn’t let it happen! Not after all she had done for him. Kougu swept the flare of determination politely aside to consult at a later stage, then glanced down at Charlie – her weary face looking so peaceful on the brink of sleep. He smiled slightly to himself, a strange tenderness in his expression, then brushed aside his fond affection for his greatest and only friend. It wouldn’t help matters any, so why bother with it?
Kougu got to his feet, then fidgeted nervously for a moment. Charlie was exhausted, but he couldn’t leave her here… He squatted down beside her again, and gently tapped on her shoulder. “Come on, you need a good sleep.” He encouraged kindly, managing a faint smile as he held out a hand and hauled her to her feet. He supported her to what had once been his bedroom, but was now mostly out of use. He seldom slept, except for when he simply could not live without sleep a moment longer. He literally pushed his insomnia to the edge of human limitations, but it was better than the nightmares… Anything was better than that torment. He deposited Charlie on the bed, watching with slight amusement as a faint cloud of dust rose up from the mattress. He retreated backwards rather swiftly – obviously reverting back to his usual discomfort in the presence of others – though seemingly multiplied tenfold by recent happenings. “Have a good rest, Charlie.” He requested earnestly, his dark eyes searching her face. “I’m going out.” He added stiffly, “I’ll be back when you wake up.”

With that, Kougu turned and left the room. Paying no mind to his bleeding wounds, he crept silently past the room where Cathy was presumably still watching the television. He released a soft sigh of relief as he managed to creep by undetected, then he grasped the door handle lightly in his long fingers and twisted it open. The cool night air hit him like a slap – blasting icy wind into his face and blowing his dark hair back, lashing it about viciously and thus uncovering the horrible, twisted scar on his left temple. Kougu shook his hair back into place, then mentally embraced the cool night air as he stepped out into it. He needed some time and space to think… Drawing in a deep breath, Kougu stalked down the empty road – his bare feet so pallid against the dark tarmac of the road that they seemed almost to glow. He continued to walk for a while. Not going to anywhere, nor from anywhere, but simply walking. Walking, and mulling things over… Everything. Just as it could get him worked up, thinking could calm him down… If he did it correctly.

Meanwhile, back at the house, a shadowy figure lurked. He had emerged from a shadowy alleyway beside the house at exactly the moment when the boy had rounded a corner and disappeared from sight, and he now stood outside, watching, waiting, observing… Silently, he crept toward the window and peered in, his hands clasped behind his back in a dignified fashion. Through the dark glass, he could make out the vague form of a woman, seated on the sofa and watching the television. So simple… So seemingly innocent… Yet she was a sinner, just like the rest of them. He could see it in the shadows of her eyes… The way she held her shoulders… It was the lingering weight of a guilt that all sinners felt, yet most could not recognize. Those who could would try to hide it… But he could always see it. They were the filth who polluted his perfect world… If the evil-doers could all be obliterated, only then would the world be truly ‘good’… Thus had his pure goal come to mind. To create a perfect world, for himself and those beings innocent enough to be deemed ‘flawless’ and allowed to live on in the paradise of his ideal world… And the boy would help him. Yes, the boy was key in his plan… But what was this? His Kougu malfunctioning…? His own tool starting to think for itself? And here he thought he’d crushed the spirit from the boy. He though he’d rid him of all desire to fight. Why was he rebelling now?
Clenching his jaw in subtle cold fury, the man prowled around to the next window, gazing into the room to see the vague shape of a figure within. This was the boy’s room… But that was not him – he had just left the house. Was this the girl…? The boy’s would-be victim? Was it because of her…? The man shook his head, a cold, silent chuckle escaping his lips. What did it matter? She was a butterfly caught in a spider’s web. Her very existence was nothing but a waiting game to see when she would die… The boy wouldn’t hold out forever and then – there she was. The perfect pray to sate the deadly beast’s near-insatiable hunger… To fulfill that lust for blood that was, perhaps, his greatest masterpiece.
But, as every great artist knew, one must let at take wings and find its own form… He would sit back and observe, for now. See what became of his Kougu without interference… The world was his playground, after all, and life was just one of the many building blocks he had to play with.
A sadistic smirk stretched his lips, and the man turned on his heel and melted away into the shadows – his earlier secret intentions forgotten in light of this exciting new waiting game he had discovered. Yes… He would sit back and watch them squirm.


It was nearly morning when Kougu returned – stumbling clumsily up the steps toward the door with a gaunt and pale face – blood soaking his clothes and his hands shaking with the chills of the cold night air. Perhaps not his smartest move to ‘go for a walk’ when he was already bleeding heavily from his wounds… He should have seen to them first, but then again, the pain did not bother him much. The risk on his life was bothersome to an extent, since he had promised Charlie he would not be dying, but he had faith in his ability to evade death. It had never forsaken him in the past, no matter how desperately he wanted it to, so he doubted it would acquiesce to his wishes now.
Kougu pulled the door shut behind him with a soft click, then glanced wearily around the familiar house, his eyes lingering for a moment, as they always did, on the heavily locked door directly beside where he stood. He thought of Charlie then, and decided to discover what had become of her. With this goal in mind, Kougu tottered curiously toward where he had left her.

“You actually do care...don't you?” The words rang timidly through my awry head, and it seemed they didn't seem to register to me until I'd forced my heavy eyelids open to see Kougu's features, absorbing the surprise that had just shown in his tone of voice. Why was he acting so surprised? Yes, I cared for him. Why else would I be even there? Honestly, if I hadn't cared about him, I would probably have walked out as soon as he smashed the mirror. In fact, I would have walked out as soon as I saw that he carried a knife around with him. Care, trust and friendship were really the three things that were keeping me from walking away from him. It doesn't sound like a lot, but you'd be surprised how much difference it makes. If I didn't feel that spark of affection towards him – in a friendship kind of way – I wouldn't have stayed when he tried to commit suicide. I wouldn't have tried to stop him when he had the blade at his throat. I wouldn't have trusted him to let us stay at his house and not try to kill me. Actually, thinking about it, I wouldn't have let him anywhere near me once I knew what damage he was capable of achieving to himself, and to other people. But I did care, I cared enough to urge him to carry on living, despite what he'd tried to do to me. He'd done so much for me, he'd taken me in when noone else would, he'd persuaded police to let me off with a warning after I'd proved to him I was guilty. I had to do something to pay him back the favor.
My eyelids were rapidly becoming heavier, and it took my last bid of strength to keep them so much as half open to listen to his next comment. Thank you. I don’t know how you always know the right thing to say… But somehow you do.” This made me smile, although it was still only a baby smile, as that was all I could manage. I'd not been able to go without sleep for more than two days, and the only reason why I'd kept myself awake for this long was because of what had been going on around me, and I hardly had much of a choice. Every second I deprived my body of sleep, every time I forced my eyelids open, I was one step closer to blacking out completely. I had to keep myself awake to watch Kougu fix himself up. Did my words really work that well? Or was he just saying that? Because I just said it as it was, I talked to him as I would anyone else... Well, that was a bit of a lie. There was so much to be careful about when talking to Kougu, not mentioning his family too much, his life, his father... What had that man done? What could he have possibly done to make Kougu hate him so much? Had he killed Kougu's mother? That must have been it. It had to be. Yes, that's it! His father killed his mother, for reasons which didn't seem to occur to me. But that's why he never said anything about his family, because his father killed them. No wonder he hated him so much! I know I'd definitely hate a member of my family with a certain passion if they'd done that to me. If they'd made me the last one standing because I was meant to be the 'useful' one. The tool. What a swine! What a murdering swine! But wait, Kougu was speaking again now, although my gaze had slipped to the floor, I heard his voice roaring through my ears. “And I hate to say I told you so, but…” What was he talking about? The gun, of course. My smile broadened, letting my teeth peek out from behind my lips. Don't say it... I thought teasingly. Just don't say it. We both know you were right about that, just don't say it. Otherwise I might have to take back my idea of killing you. I felt something soft and damp dabbing at the wound of my shoulder, and I felt myself flinch slightly. Ow... but it seemed that was about as much movement as I could manage from being so exhausted all of a sudden. My head sat back on the wall again, sinking back into whatever position it pleased as Kougu swiftly attended to my wounds, leaving me sitting silently beside him. I wanted to go to bed. But that meant getting up. I didn't want to get up, even if the bathroom was in such a state that reminded me constantly of what had just happened to the two of us. I could easily blank the room from my sigh if I just let my eyes close properly... A bandage was wrapped around my arm and shoulder, but my eyes didn't open. I didn't want to open them... I didn't want to know what was going on in the world around me. I just needed sleep... “Come on, you need a good sleep” Yes, I know that, Kougu. Just let me snooze here, will you? Please? Don't bother about tidying yet. I want to rest... Of course, I didn't say such things, mostly because I didn't have the energy to. I didn't even have the energy to keep my eyelids open any more. I felt a hand gently grasp mine and pull me to my feet, causing me to groan in exhausted irritation. Why couldn't I just go to sleep where I was? I couldn't be bothered walking... My eyelids drew open, just for a moment as I regained my balance, suddenly noticing that my buttocks no longer had any feel in them after the position I'd sat in, and the hard floor that had been beneath me hadn't been the best of help. I was helped to a small room, looking like it hadn't been used for a hell of a long time. Kougu placed me on the bed, and I was shocked to notice the dust rising up around me, causing me to cough weakly. The display seemed to make Kougu smile, for reasons which were beyond me. Was this the spare room? It had to be, as it hadn't been used at all for some while. I shuffled around the thick, springy mattress, brushing a few grey particles from where my head was resting. I'd be alright, as long as I didn't sleep faced down, which I didn't do anyway. Letting out a long, tired sigh, I looked up at Kougu as he retreated towards the door. Where was he going? He was supposed to be fixing his wounds... “Have a good rest, Charlie. “I'm going out.” he said simply, and before I could demand where, before I could tell him he had to fix himself up first, he spoke again “I'll be back when you wake up.”
H left the room before I could say anything else on the subject, although I was unsure whether he meant to do so in order to save any comments from me, disagreeing what he was doing. But I didn't have the strength left to argue with him. Save it, I told myself. He's not going to kill himself, and if he thinks he's going to black out, he'll come right back home. He would never disobey your trust after you saved his life. Stop worrying... With that, I let out a long, tired yawn and curled up into the mattress, enjoying having the comfort of my own body warmth around me. “It's fine...” I whispered comfortingly to myself. “He'll be fine...”
A flash of darkness caused my eyes to shoot open as my head snapped towards the window, where the moon glowed luminously in the pitch black sky. My heart skipped a beat. What the hell was that? Was it Kougu? Had he gone out the front and decided against it, creeping round the house to the back entry? For goodness' sake... A voice in my head ranted on, Calm down. There are plenty of people that walk around at night. It could be a crow for all you know. Your just paranoid... Well, maybe. But I couldn't help but feel stirred by what the shadow might have been. Of course, I could have just been paranoid. It was more than likely, definitely. Exhaling shakily, I curled up tighter on the bed, pulling the thin sheet by my feet over my body. I suddenly felt vulnerable, although I couldn't understand why. I forced my eyes closed once again, telling myself it was okay, that Kougu was going to be back as soon as I awoke from my sleep. Still, I couldn't help but wonder what on earth it was that I had seen. I couldn't help but wonder that it wasn't my imagination that had caused it. Scrunching my eyes closed, I sighed, blowing a tiny cloud of dust to fly from where my face was. I had to calm down. Sighing, I pulled the covers over my face, drifting off into a light sleep.

Black. Darkness. Murky. Ominous. There are no words I can find to describe what I can see. I'm on a street. An alleyway, to be precise. I look up to the sky. There's no moon, no stars, no light source. Just pitch black.. My feet tap apprehensively on the unevenly cobbled ground. I'm lost. Where am I? Heavy footsteps chorus from behind me. Someone's after me. I leap into a sprint, desperate to reach the light at the end of the alleyway. Faster... Faster... But the end doesn't come. The footsteps thunder as my rival closes onto me at an alarming rate. I'm panting, my legs are going as fast as they possibly can.
But I'm not moving.
“Please...” I beg to myself. “Move, please...”
A shadowy appears in my view, blocking off my escape route. Their face is hidden, but Jimmy Mackintosh's triumphant voice is roaring throughout the empty streets. “You are my girl. My girl...” his voice breaks into a menacing laugh which rumbles through my eardrums. I skid to a stop.
“No...” I begin, but my voice has stopped working. I'm left there, staring at my tormentor with wide, horrified eyes. Why can't I talk? I can't talk... The footsteps behind me fade to a light tapping and I spin round, to see my mother running towards me, sweating and panting. “Charlie!” she wails, running into my arms. But instead of feeling a halo of warmth around us, I feel like I've been punched in the stomach. I feel like I've had a brick thrown at my head and torso. I grip mum for a moment, until she shoves me away, her eyes suddenly swollen with lethargy. Her skin drains to a ghostly white, like all the blood has been sicked out of her body. She looks like a phantom... A demon... But wait, her irises, they've changed colour. What were once a silvery-blue, are now morphing into a blood red. And her hair... Her once so beautiful short copper-brown hair has merged into a lifeless grey. The woman stood before me... She's not my mother. I try to step away from her, but my feet aren't recalling to the pleads from my brain. I don't want to stand so close to such a creature... But I have no choice. Her grip on my shoulders tighten, and I can feel her bony fingertips sinking into my flesh, yet I'm powerless to stop her. Her lips part as she lets out a loud, deathly shriek. Her eyes widen until I can see the full whites around her irises. But it's not that that scares me. It's the tears of blood that are beginning to trickle down her skeletal-like cheek bones. Her inhuman wails ring through my ear drums. It's not until then I notice that I too am crying, but my tears are not those of crimson, which seem to leave sickly trails down the creature's face. The dreadful thing is, I can't seem to drag my eyes away from those tears.
Another dark figure appears from behind us. He's strolling along coolly, but lI cannot seem to see his face. Unlike Jimmy he has something in his hand. It's hidden in the darkness, but I can still somehow make out a long thin point and a barrel just above the handle. A gun. I gasp, retreating away from the figure. Oh great, now I can move? But the demon that was once my mother isn't moving, she simply turns and stares at the shadow with a blank expression. Does she know what he has with him? The figure strolls into view, holding the pistol out in front of him, the tip aimed at the phantom in front of me. “No...” I whimper, but it feels like my feet are once again glued to the ground. The eerie figure steps into a dimly lit circle, and I find my eyes widen in horror. The sleek black hair, the willowy build, the gun... It's Kougu. He's pointing the gun at my mother. The barrel clicks. “Kougu... Kougu NO!!” Tears stream down my face, but I can't move. A hand clamps on my shoulder, holding me in a vice grip as I am forced to stand like a statue as the last member of my family left is murdered by my best friend. Jimmy's menacing chuckle echoes once again through the streets, and he lowers his lips to my ear, his voice jumping in triumph.
“We know what happens when you play hard to get, don't we?” His laughter claws at my eardrums. I'm helpless. Kougu steps towards my mother, who just stands there, shaking like a leaf as the gun's point is rammed into her head.
“Kougu!” I beg “Kougu, please! No.. NO!...”
BANG.

(Wow, just reading that over gave me the shivers xD)

“Aaaargh!” I awoke with a shaky, high-pitched cry, jolting upright in the bed. Beads of sweat were rolling down my temples, and I could taste the salty tang of the tears that were continuously running down my tear-stained face. I was panting, my breath was shaky with fright. It took me a moment or two to realise where I was. The room was silent, other than my uneven breathing. Everything lay still. My eyes, wide and glassy from my ordeal, trailed up to the window to see the golden rays of dawn approaching the skies. What a nightmare. I ran my fingers through my matted hair, wiping the tears from my cheeks. I probably looked a mess. “It's gone...” I whispered reassuringly to myself, wrapping the sheets around my shivering body. I must have kicked them off in my sleep, as I couldn't recall taking them off during the night. Teeth chattering, I repeated the two words over and over again, hugging my knees. “It's gone.... It's over. It's gone... it's gone, it's gone, it's gone...” I swallowed, letting my eyelids sink back over my eyes, telling myself continuously that it was over, that there was nothing left to fear etcetera. I don't know how long it took me to calm down, but it wasn't until I looked at the small digital clock beside me rang 7.00 am that I decided to get out of bed. I wasn't going to sleep any more after that, even if I tried. The horrors would only come back to me somehow. I wrapped the sheets around my top half, shuffling into the bathroom where I trailed over to the sink, running the hot water. I washed my hands, warming them up effectively before splashing my face in the same water. I let the sheets drop to my feet as I leant over the sink, dropping my head. I tried to close my eyes, but every time I did so I saw him... Kougu...holding that gun towards my mother, the tears of blood, the deathly look in her eyes... I shook my head, splashing my face once again. It was only a nightmare. It wasn't real. It was all in my head. Footsteps on the bottom corridor snapped me to attention, and I looked up to notice Kougu approaching the bedroom. He looked so innocent... Yet the blood soaked over his hands and clothes told me a different story. My face fell as I grabbed the towel beside me and began to dry my hands. “Kougu?” The name seemed so strange to me, after what he'd done in my nightmare. Just saying it again made me feel like sobbing again. “Kougu, what happened?” I asked, completely dismissing the sheets by my feet and stepping out the bathroom towards him. I just hoped the blood on his hands was his own blood, and that he hadn't been trying to hurt any more people. “I thought you were going to fix yourself up...” I sighed, flicking the light off before approaching him carefully, slipping my warm hands into my jacket pockets. “Where did you go?” I couldn't help but hide the disappointment in my features. I'd trusted him. I'd trusted him to get himself sorted before he let it go on for so long. And yet he'd been out the whole night? With a stab wound to his side? His hands were coated in blood, goodness knows what passer-byers thought of him. Someone could have called the police by now. I shifted my weight to one side, only dreading to know the answers.

As Kougu was nearing the room, he heard a questioning voice call his name. He turned his head, glancing in the direction of the sound to see Charlie standing there, drying her hands on a towel. His expression softened at the sight of her, a slight warmth creeping into his deep blue eyes and filling them with a spark of light that had not been there before. He was slowly starting to find some courage… Some ‘will to live’ within himself that he hadn’t known he even possessed.
Kougu blinked innocently at Charlie, watching her with a questioning curiosity. She seemed a little… ‘Off’. “Kougu, what happened?” Charlie’s voice seemed slightly shaky, and a concerned frown creased Kougu’s face – deepening the premature furrows in his brow, which had by this stage become permanent residents on his pale face – souvenirs of the exhaustion and suffering he had endured through his short life.
Charlie stepped out of the tangle of sheets then, and began moving toward him. Kougu tensed instantly – seeming to revert back to his own ways for a moment, only to a more extreme extent than ever before. His weight shifted backwards away from her, but he held his ground – barely – his feet not quite moving from where he stood. What difference did it make, really, how close Charlie got? If he was supposed to kill her, then she would die, regardless of where he stood. If he had the strength to fight it, then she would live… So really, he had no excuse to back away. No excuse, that is, unless one was to count the fact that, for reasons he did not fully comprehend, he just felt terribly uneasy the closer she came to him… “I thought you were going to fix yourself up...” Charlie’s words broke through his thoughts, and Kougu jumped skittishly as he suddenly came around from his trance-like state. “Oh, I- I-“ He began stuttering incoherently, but Charlie saved him the hassle of trying to tame his tongue by adding another question to the list, thus giving him time to calm his flustered mind and get his thoughts in order once more. “Where did you go?” Kougu thought for a moment, then opened his mouth to speak, only to shut it again when he noticed her expression. She seemed… Disappointed. Deeply disappointed… Almost, perhaps, betrayed…? No- No. He would not be disloyal. He was never going to betray her trust. At least – not that which he had rightfully earned and willingly accepted. Charlie had always been too trusting – in thinking that he would not hurt her, at least, but there were different kinds of trust… This trust was for the word he had given – the promise he had made. This was trust for his honestly, not for his innocence. Honesty was one point on which he would not bend. He did not break a promise, not ever. So why did Charlie think he’d betrayed her? Hadn’t he promised not to? Wait… What? She had said nothing of the sort, so where had he come up with that from?! Charlie had said nothing at all! Wow, he really had to stop over thinking things... It could even be a little dangerous, especially for the likes of him. Charlie seemed slightly disappointed in him, that was all, and though it was a stinging blow - it was not something irreparable. He need only explain the situation to her…
But that disappointment! Those eyes! He could not shake the chill they struck into his bones. He couldn’t think with that disappointed gaze upon him… It was too much like looking at that man… Kougu shuddered slightly at the thoughts, willing himself to keep a grip. No matter how hard he had tried, he had always disappointed his father. Not because he did not work hard enough, not because his skills were unacceptable, but because he was who he was. Because he had a kind soul, a soft spirit, and none of the bloodlust that his father held so dear. That was why he had been a failure – just one more rusted tool to be cast aside and abandoned in a dusty toolbox, with only cobwebs for company… But no, worse still, his father had chosen to persevere. To make a minor ‘tweaking’ to him, until the man’s greatest masterpiece was complete. And here he stood, no longer facing any disappointment, yet feeling more ashamed by the fierce pride burning in the man’s eyes than he ever had when he had failed to meet the man’s expectations. He had all but worshipped him once! His father had been his idol, his role model, the greatest thing in his life… Like that one shining star that every child needs: The source of their hopes, dreams and aspirations. But that powerful admiration had lead him astray… He had been foolish, trusting and gullible… And desperate – that was the main thing. He had been oh-so-desperate for his father’s approval… For that one spark of pride. That one pat on the shoulder, and the harsh cold voice saying ‘Well done, son.’ He had been so desperate… He had wanted it with all his heart… Or so he had thought. But that was when he had learned that humans, himself included, seldom truly knew what it was that they wanted. Be careful what you wish for. It was such solid advice. If only he had followed it… The truth was, he had wanted what he had all along – wanted it more than anything. But because he had already had it, he had been unable to see it, and thus he had fooled himself into wanting something else, something more, always something more… Why? Because humans were greedy, and they could not help it, for it was simply in their nature – and in his, too. Well, he had got what he thought he’d wanted, and in doing so he had lost all he had, and all that he had actually wanted. How was that for learning a lesson…? Yet it had taught him nothing. Nothing at all. For here he stood now, wishing, wanting… If only he could turn back time. Be careful what you wish for. Yes, it was true, he wished that he could go back in time and fix it all, but did he really? What of Charlie? What if, by some impossibility, his wish was granted? What if he got what he wanted, and went back in time to see his family once again, alive and well. Life was as fair as it was cruel. One traded what they had to get what they wanted… What did he have now? Charlie. What was it that he’d had before? His family. He had lost them that time… He was not losing Charlie now. She was his friend, and she was what he wanted, and what he had. What more did he need? He had everything worth having… Yet still he could not stop wanting. The greed… The emptiness… He wanted relief, he wanted revenge, he wanted redemption and he wanted back that which he had lost. It was like a drug, this ‘wanting’…

Kougu shook his head, shoving the thoughts firmly aside, and glancing toward Charlie again. Still, those eyes! Resentment sparked through him for a moment, and Kougu closed his eyes and looked away, calming his restless, revenge-seeking spirit. Charlie was not his father. She was his friend, and she was on his side… “Please…” He muttered quietly, “Don’t look at me like that.” His voice was soft, and steadier than he had expected. Somewhat comforted, Kougu slowly raised his head and looked at her – his dark blue eyes grave and earnest in his pale face. “It’s not like that – I swear.” He declared, replying to what she hadn’t said before tackling what she had. More often than not, it was what a person didn’t say that was most important… “I just went for a walk.” He explained in a surprisingly calm voice, “Nowhere in particular… Just… Wandering. Thinking…” He trailed off somewhat awkwardly, struggling to find words to explain. No matter how he said it, it sounded weak and feeble. “Even in this state, my body is more reliable than my mind. I simply sorted out my priorities and acted accordingly.” He lapsed into silence then, glancing at Charlie and finally seeing her clearly for the first time. His frown deepened, and a gentle concern crept into his eyes. “Hey, are you okay…?” He asked tenderly, stepping hesitantly toward her – forgetting his own discomfort in light of his new-found worry. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” He added in a slight panic – his dark eyes searching Charlie’s pale, tearstained face for a moment, before a thoughtful expression stole over him, and he began rambling randomly in his Kougu-ish way. “Although… Can a person even see ghosts? I don’t think so – that’s why they’re ghosts, isn’t it? Do they even exist? I mean, if they did, somebody probably would have seen one… But if you can’t see them, then- Well, I suppose if you take into account the fact that they can’t be seen, that they may not exist, yet that people believe that they have seen them and that they do exist, that would make the probability that they exist about… 43,8%, which means that the probability of your having seen-“ Kougu broke off then, frowning thoughtfully. “That really doesn’t matter at all, does it…?” He asked vaguely, staring at Charlie with a typical, somewhat unfocused, Kougu expression. “Never mind. Are you okay? What happened to you?” Kougu demanded – his concerned frown returning as he glanced her up and down. “Wait here, please.” He said suddenly, turning around and stepping quickly into the next room – stepping lightly on the hard wooden floor to avoid waking Cathy. It was strange how quickly he could move without making a single sound, but this was just one more skill he had learned… To control his balance flawlessly, and distribute his weight so as to move with as little sound and as much swiftness as possible.
Kougu vanished into the kitchen, and began quietly scratching through the near-empty drawers. Finally, he found what he was searching for and whisked it from the drawer with his long fingers. He closed the drawer carefully, then crept back through the room and out into the corridor where he had left Charlie just a few seconds ago. “Chocolate.” He informed her, tossing the little bar toward her with a faint sound of crinkling wrapper. “It’s brilliant for shock. You’ll feel better, trust me.” He explained, offering a faint smile before he stepped past her into the bathroom. Ignoring the scattered fragments of glass and the drops of blood littering the floor, Kougu trod with the minimum amount of care to avoid them, then reached the sink. He turned on the tap and carefully cleaned the dried blood from his shredded palms. “Well?” He asked suddenly, tactfully keeping his attention focused on his task so Charlie would not feel pressured to answer him – not right away, if at all. “What did happen?”

He flicked his hands dry - not quite daring to get blood on the fluffy white towels which had once been his parents’ – all the while keeping one ear open for Charlie’s reply, if and when it came.
He glanced toward the wound between his ribs then, frowning distastefully at it. He didn’t really want to fix it… Kougu sulked for a moment as his conscience flared up – creating a mental war in his mind. He had promised Charlie that he would fix himself up… He had already left it rather too long. Really, he had no choice but to sort out his wounds now – no matter how badly he wished he could just leave them alone. Grumbling irritably to himself, Kougu glared at the room around him – all but demanding that it reveal its secrets and give him the supplies he needed. He did not feel like searching for them. Finally, he located them in a small group in a bloody clearing on the glass-ridden floor. He stepped over to the spot, examining the small collection of medical supplies sitting there. Did he have to do this? Was he absolutely certain there was not some loophole…? No! He had to do it. Kougu grudgingly submitted to his conscience, then glanced back at Charlie. He would wait until he was done talking to her… Which he certainly wasn’t just yet. What on earth had happened to her?! Had somebody broken in? Had she had a fight with her mother? Had she- Oh no! He had not thought of that before! What if she’d- No! NO! He had to check-

Completely beside himself with panic, Kougu forgot everything and dashed from the room, a loud tinkling of glass following him as he skidded through the sharp shards of mirror to whip around the corner and dash past Charlie. His hurry was such that he collided with the wall in an attempt to avoid knocking her down – but he caught himself with his injured palms and pushed himself away so quickly that he seemed to rebound away from the wall like a rubber ball. He darted down the long corridor, skidding to a stop at the end to stand directly before the heavily locked door just beside the front door. His eyes darted quickly over the door, his hand resting lightly on the wall beside it. He quickly checked all the locks – nearly fainting with relief when he saw that all was as it should be. So she had not seen- Thank goodness… He had been so scared that she had- Oh thank goodness… Kougu breathed a sigh of relief, then staggered backwards away from the door – seeming to want to get as far away from it as possible. “I- For a moment I- I thought that- Never mind…” Kougu muttered in a flustered explanation, stepping swiftly back up the corridor with his eyes downcast. He seemed to shrink away from Charlie as he passed her, already feeling guilty for his moment of panic. Then he slunk back into the bathroom, seeming timidly ashamed of himself.
His legs still feeling weak and rubbery from relief and blood loss, Kougu wobbled over to the bathtub and perched himself on the edge, staring unseeingly around the room. If Charlie had gone inside- If she’d seen- He had been so scared… So scared… That his secret had been spilled.

It was the look Kougu gave me that made me bring a hand to my cheek, self-consciously hiding the blotchy marks on my tired face. How bad was it? Did I look that bad? Horrified, I shook my jumper sleeve over my hand and hid half my face behind it, feeling my whole face go hot. I hadn't looked in the mirror when I'd gone in the bathroom, so I hadn't been that aware of how messed up I had looked due to my bad night. I could sense that my eyelids had swollen due to crying so much, and as I trailed my fingertips down from the bridge of my nose to the soft skin under my eyelids I realised how heavy they had become from my horrible night's sleep. Oh god... No wonder he was looking at me like that... I must have looked horrendous. I never used to worry so much about how I looked, but being around someone new -someone other than my mother- just made me bother even more about how horrific my expression must have been. I needed to do something about it, even though I knew really the only thing I needed to bring me back on top was to get a good night's sleep, but I daren't in fear that I would miss something, that something important would happen whilst I was out and it would be my fault for not being there to stop it, or Kougu would call off mending himself for a moment too long and I'd end up waking to him bleeding to death on the floor somewhere... The thought made me shiver. That wasn't going to happen, because Kougu was going to go into that bathroom and fix himself up straight away. Why? Because I wasn't going to leave him until he did.
“Please... Don't look at me like that. It wasn't like that, I swear.” My hand dropped to my side at his words, raising an eyebrow quizzically. What was I looking at him like? Well, he couldn't blame me if I was looking a little disappointed in him, although I hadn't meant for it to be so obvious. I was tired, perhaps? Besides, I'd only just got out of bed. But I'd trusted him to get himself fixed up, I'd trusted him to get himself so neither of us would have to worry more about his personal well-being, since he'd tried to commit suicide. He'd just failed to prove to me he was so willing to live, even when I'd proved to him I was okay – to an extent, anyway. I'd slept, at least. I couldn't help it if I didn't sleep well. I couldn't help it if I had nightmares, could I? Someone told me once that dreaming was a psychological thing, and that you could control what your dreams were. I'd heard that you dreamt about the last thing that entered your mind before you fell asleep, but I really couldn't remember thinking about mum crying tears of blood, or Kougu actually working alongside Jimmy to get me back for whatever I'd done to both of them. Okay, Jimmy? Perhaps. But Kougu...? I couldn't remember doing anything so bad to Kougu to make him want to have revenge on me... Not like what had happened in the nightmare. Killing my mother? I mean sure, she had said some pretty unfair things about him, she'd slagged him off and she'd judged him just from his looks, but he wouldn't want to kill her, would he? Well, I had no idea, since he had tried to kill me before, but that... Technically that didn't count. He hadn't been himself back then. Still... It had been him. It had been his hands around my neck, effectively squeezing the life out of me, robbing me of whatever breath I had left... No. No! It wasn't him. End of discussion. But hang on, was I even talking to anyone? Oh God, I was doing it again. Thinking too much. Crap. Crap crap crap... .
“I just went for a walk” Thankfully, my thoughts were interrupted quickly before I could let them astray any further, before I could bring myself any more against Kougu than I already had, simply due to my own mental troubles. I had really had to calm down. I had to forget whatever went on in my head the night before. Now Kougu was beginning to speak again, I had to listen to him. I had to know what he'd been doing that night. “Nowhere in particular… Just… Wandering. Thinking… Even in this state, my body is more reliable than my mind. I simply sorted out my priorities and acted accordingly.” I listened to him, head cocked to one side like a curious puppy. Was he telling the truth? Could I finally trust him to be telling me truthfully what he'd done? Because since the night before my trust in him had slipped slightly, and I couldn't seem to let it go that he had tried to commit suicide, and that he would not have willingly put that blade down from his neck if I had not been there to stop him. On top of everything else, he'd just gone out for an entire night with that stab wound in his ribs, smothered in blood, and had not done a single thing to try and stop himself from dropping dead in front of me. In fact... Never mind that. From dropping dead at all. Was he going to fix himself any time soon? No wait, of course he was! He was because I was going to persuade him that no good would come out of him if he didn't get rid of that blood all over his hands. So hang on, I was taking over now? Since when? How come? Where the hell had all my confidence come from? I wasn't much more help now than I would have been like that hyper monkey I referred to back in the bathroom. In fact, no, that would be offensive to monkeys, since I swear my brain was no larger than a pigeon's. You see, I know, because it's been proven my knowledge is narrowed down to pretty much keeping myself alive. And (xD) even that wasn't going well. I'd nearly died, what, three times? I hadn't eaten in well over a day, which suddenly reminded me... My hand rested on my flat belly, suddenly wincing as an unpleasant feeling in my stomach caused me to pull a face, feeling as though my stomach had been drained of all food and had been wrenched dry, causing it to growl viciously under my palm. When was the last time I ate? I couldn't even remember. I though it might have been when I had that apple... Oh yes, when we had first gone back to the house to meet the police. Back when I hadn't had mother yelling abuse at me the whole time... Ah, happy days.
I blinked suddenly, realising with a jolt that I had been saring into space again and had not been noticing Kougu looking at e as if I'd grown a new head. My free hand sprung back up to my cheek as felt the colour rush to my face. Stop looking at me like that... I thought silently. Kougu please, just stop looking at me... “Hey, are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost!” My lips curved upwards slightly into a weak smile at this, and I let my shoulders twitch upwards. Yeah, you could say that, I thought to myself, my smile broadening. Of course, I chose to say nothing, since I would be the only one who understood what I was on about. Poor Kougu would no doubt take me literally, then I'd have to explain everything and... Well, there was no point alarming him. “ Although… Can a person even see ghosts? I don’t think so – that’s why they’re ghosts, isn’t it? Do they even exist? I mean, if they did, somebody probably would have seen one… I switched off after that, deciding that, to my distaste, he wouldn't say anything within the next few sentences that would have much more meaning than the roaring in my ears as each syllable bounced off my eardrums. Instead, I stared into space, as always, listening to the quiet sounds of the birds chirping innocently outside the window, the faint roaring of car engines, fire engines ringing their sirens in the distance...
“That really doesn't matter at all, does it?” Kougu finished, snapping my attention back to the present. At his expression I felt my own soften gradually, causing both my hands to drop gently to my side. Goodness knows why he started talking, but I had to love him for it. “Never mind. Are you okay? What happened to you?” My mouth opened to answer him, but before I had the chance he began to walk past me, muttering a quiet 'wait here, please' before passing me and creeping down past mum and disappearing into another room. Eyebrows raised, I watched him curiously, keeping obediently to my spot. Where was he going? A few moments later he appeared silently back beside me, a small metallic-looking object in his hand. What in earth was that? I raised an eyebrow as he offered it to me, staring at him as if he'd grown a new head. Perhaps he'd guessed I looked hungry, but would chocolate fill my empty stomach? Just a single bar? I doubted it. “Chocolate” He told me, “It’s brilliant for shock. You’ll feel better, trust me.”
Trust me... The words haunted me, despite the fact I hadn't intended to let them do so. Trust him? He hadn't told me to do that in a long time, if at all. In fact, he'd mostly told me to do the opposite. Although, being me, I regarded him very little and did my own thing which was, in this case, the opposite of what he'd told me to do. But now... Now he was actually telling me to trust him? Did that mean top not trust him? Oh god, I was over-thinking this again. Why was I so 'thoughtful' all of a sudden? One thing I knew for definite, I was spending way too much time hanging around Kougu. Still, I couldn't exactly complain. He was giving me chocolate, of course I was going to love him! Slowly I reached out and grasped the bar lightly in my palm, hesitantly tearing off a corner of the packet and pulling it down to reveal several cubes of brown chocolate. The smell which wafted through my nostrils made my mouth water. Kougu disappeared into the bathroom to wash his hands as I slowly brought the sugary brown cube to my teeth, nibbling the corner off innocently. My lips parted as I let out a satisfied sigh, swallowing and taking a much larger bite. “Well?” He asked from behind the door, although I was really too into my chocolate to notice. “What did happen?”

After only a few mouthfuls I had already made my way through most of the bar, only to suddenly notice Kougu was no longer speaking, nor was he in the bathroom. Frowning, I wheeled round. Where was he? I could hear no footsteps, as for some reason he could move better with his feet than I could on the best of days. The hallway was silent. A few seconds later I heard him heading back towards me from the room near the front door, relief painted all over his pale features. Where had he gone in such a hurry? I studied him for a moment, before feeling something warm and sticky trickling down my fingertips. What the- My eyes trailed down to the wrapper hanging off my hand, watching the melted chocolate beads oozing out of my palm. “Oops...” I muttered, pulling the wrapper into my other hand, along with whatever solid chocolate was left in there. I quickly brought my hand to my mouth, licking off the excess off my fingers before it could drip onto the crystal-coloured carpet. Something I knew for certain, if I got too much of that onto the carpet I'd never get it out. Once I was satisfied, I licked my lips and looked back at Kougu expectantly, waiting patiently for him to explain where he got off to. Unfortunately, what I got was no help whatsoever.
“I- For a moment I- I thought that- Never mind…” My eyebrows drew together slightly at his words, and I wondered for a moment whether he was hiding something from me. I took a step or two towards him, looking up at him curiously. “Kougu...?” I asked quietly, my curiosity morphing into suspicion as he disappeared back into the bathroom. “What were you so scared of? Kougu, what aren't you telling me?” What had been bothering him? Why had he disappeared to quickly without even giving me any note of where he was going? Although, in the little trance I had been in with the chocolate he could have committed suicide and I wouldn't have noticed... Wait, no! What was I thinking? He wasn't going to commit suicide, not whilst I lived and breathed. Not whilst I was there with him. But I hadn't been there, had I? I'd remained in the hallway like a little puppy being told to stay where it was, waiting for it's master to return and give it praise for finally doing as it's told. Yup, sounds like me... I thought bitterly. I was a little puppy just on the merge of being trained. Anything could have happened and I wouldn't have moved an inch. A fat lot of good I was.
“Actually, forget it.” I shook my head, waving off my previous words with a flick of my hand. Why was I being so nosy? “Forget it... I-it's none of my business” I shook my head, sitting down on the closed toilet seat beside him. Leaning forward slightly, I rubbed my hands together, suddenly noticing that I still had hold of the remains of the melting chocolate in the wrapper. Smiling to myself, I broke off a square and offered it to him. “Chocolate? I hear it's good for shock” I mused quietly with a light-hearted smile, still licking off the bits of the brown substance off my fingertips. I suddenly noticed that Kougu's legs were shaking, only very faintly, although it was rather obvious why. He was getting weaker, and he would continue to get weaker unless he sorted himself out, and soon. “I'm fine, honestly. I just... It's-... I had a bad night. Nightmares... It's a long story. L-let's just say I saw some things I shouldn't have been thinking about” I could feel my smile weakening slightly, although the sugar and chocolate was already beginning to sink into my system. I no longer felt like crying, which in itself was a plus. “But never mind me. You need to get yourself cleaned up, before you black out.” I pressed the chocolate into his palm, before sitting back the toilet seat. It creaked slightly at my movement, but I made sure to pay no attention. Now I was awake, I had to focus. I had to focus on Kougu. “Honestly, Kougu. Just, get it over with. You and I both know you'll be no help to me or yourself if you're on the merge of dying. Please, just sort yourself out. I'll be fine, I'm just tired. Which reminds me, I d-... I don't suppose you have any more food...? I'm really starving.” I looked down at my growling stomach, poking it with my finger. “If you don't... Hell, I'll live. It's just... That chocolate's triggered something.” My smile broadened as I giggled quietly to myself, looking down. Perhaps I was beginning to sound too selfish. Had I gone on too much? “Hey” I said suddenly, tapping my thighs with my palms. “You know what? Never mind. You just get yourself sorted, then we can all relax. Please? For me?” My eyes lit up hopefully as I peered up at him, ignoring the thunderous growls causing my stomach to vibrate. Yes, I already know I'm hungry, I thought to myself testily. Quit reminding me. I'd tried as hard as I could now to persuade Kougu to stop leaving his personal health to the last minute when his life was on the line. If that didn't persuade him, I didn't know what would.

(Long, but... Ugh, not exactly happy with it... o_0 *shrugs* Oh well, at least we're not getting graded on it xD)

Kougu glanced up as he heard his name, tensing instantly in anxiety so severe it made him feel nauseous. He just didn’t want to talk about it… Any of it. To say it out loud would be to make it real, and he was not willing to let go of the infantile fleeting hope that hovered at the back of his mind… That it had all been a dream, and that his mother and sister would return home one day – completely unscathed, and telling him through laughs and smiles what a great holiday they’d had… Kougu’s eyes fell to the ground, his fists clenching. The only way he’d see his mother and sister again would be to- No, not even that… When he passed into the abyss, he’d be going straight to Hell. Even given the choice, he’d send himself to Hell! He did not deserve any better… But his family? They had been so pure and innocent. He still remembered his sister’s innocent, wide eyes staring up at him. How, a moment before, she had known. And then it had all been reduced to- to- What? A fresh coat of crimson paint on the walls? Yes, that was all that was left of his beloved family… And it was his fault! Kougu glanced up gratefully as Charlie’s voice interrupted his thoughts again – saving him from himself just in time. “What were you so scared of? Kougu, what aren't you telling me?”
He dropped his gaze again, gulping nervously. “I-“ But he broke off again as Charlie’s words overlapped is own. “Actually, forget it Forget it... I-it's none of my business.” Kougu nodded vaguely, then turned his head away to stare vaguely at the bright white walls of the bathroom. Why were they so plain?! It was as though they were intentionally trying to provide a blank canvas for his torturing thoughts. They were no relief at all… They offered no opportunity for the soul-saving daydreams he had come to rely on to get him through the times when the memories were at their worst.

Suddenly, Kougu heard a crinkling of foil behind him and glanced around to see what Charlie was doing – slightly calmer now. “Chocolate? I hear it's good for shock.” He was met by a faintly smiling face and outstretched hand – in which was a block of chocolate. Kougu chuckled softly, shaking his head in incredulity as a weak smile stretched across his face despite himself. “Thank you.” He said simply, raising his dark eyes to meet her gaze and letting his pale features relax into a sincere smile – the first real one in a while. He cringed away from Charlie’s touch as she placed the chocolate on his hand, his arm tensing and the smile faltering on his face – but once she had drawn back again he relaxed slightly. He considered the chocolate for a moment, then hesitantly popped it into his mouth. Instantly, the taste invaded all his taste buds, and it was all Kougu could do to continue acting normal under the influence of this rare treat. He could scarcely remember the last time he had eaten anything aside from his usual grudging acceptance of the occasional piece of fruit. He had developed a habit of starving himself over the years – possibly due to his early upbringing… Then again, wasn’t everything due to his early upbringing? That man… Yes, how many times had he heard the words ‘You’ll eat real food or you’ll eat nothing at all!’ Kougu supposed his father had probably expected him to just give in and eat whatever he and Kougu’s mother were eating… But he had never been able to stand the prospect of eating meat. It was not unexpected, really, considering his gentle nature. The idea of meat repulsed him… To actually eat something that had once been alive? But of course, his father had loathed that aspect of him, and had tried to torture it out of him. It had been a battle of wills that had nearly resulted in his death several times – but every time his father would lash him back to life. He was too useful to lose, that was the pitiful truth.
But it had not been all bad… There had been those times when his mother had quietly snuck him those bars of chocolate in the night… Just enough to keep him going, without his father ever finding out. He’d had a soft spot for chocolate from those days… It reminded him of his mother.
His mother, who was dead… Because of him.
Suddenly, the chocolate tasted more like sawdust in his mouth. Kougu swallowed it with difficulty, then turned his attention back to Charlie – easily managing to hide the inner-turmoil he was suffering from his gaze. It was a permanent resident in his mind – so he was no point in troubling the people around him with it, if he could help it. “I'm fine, honestly. I just... It's-... I had a bad night. Nightmares... It's a long story. L-let's just say I saw some things I shouldn't have been thinking about.” Kougu nodded sympathetically at Charlie’s words – wishing with every fibre of his being that he could have done something to spare Charlie the suffering of the nightmares… He knew that pain all too well… But unlike her, he hadn’t had the emotional strength to cope with it – and had resorted to insomnia instead. In fact, it was a wonder he was still alive, what with the amount of things he denied to his body in order to spare his mind. Tough as a cockroach… His father had trained him well.

Charlie began speaking then, rather a lot, and Kougu was forced to give her his full attention to keep track of the rapidly altering subjects. “But never mind me. You need to get yourself cleaned up, before you black out. Honestly, Kougu. Just, get it over with. You and I both know you'll be no help to me or yourself if you're on the merge of dying. Please, just sort yourself out. I'll be fine, I'm just tired. Which reminds me, I d-... I don't suppose you have any more food...? I'm really starving. If you don't... Hell, I'll live. It's just... That chocolate's triggered something. Hey, you know what? Never mind. You just get yourself sorted, then we can all relax. Please? For me?” When she had finished speaking, Kougu found himself with a faint smile lingering on his face – remaining there naturally. It felt strangely good… He chuckled softly to himself, then glanced at Charlie again, his dark eyes scanning her face. That was so like her. Always looking out for him, even when she was desperately needing something herself… Honestly, when would she learn that her wellbeing was the most important thing to him? But then again, if she was to be as selfish as he’d like, then she simply wouldn’t be herself any more. And if she wasn’t Charlie, then she was just another polite stranger… And he did not trust strangers. He did not trust anybody… But he trusted Charlie, because everything about her was simply perfect... Exactly the way he liked it. He wouldn't change a thing. “Sorry.” He apologised shamelessly, a grin slowly creeping across his face. “I forgot that you ‘normal people’ need to eat.” He chuckled to himself, then gave Charlie a playful shove and got to his feet. “I am sorry.” He added more seriously – his expression sobering as he recognised the fact that he had been rather a terrible host to poor Charlie. “I’m not used to having people around, you understand… So please, just help yourself to anything you need in this place.” He shrugged vaguely, a sheepish grin creeping tentatively over his pale face. “We both know I’m not going to remember to feed you!” He admitted with a laugh. He stood and watching Charlie for a moment, then reached hesitantly toward her – his hand pausing for a moment as it neared her, the long fingers curling back, then stretching forward again to gently grasp Charlie’s hand and haul her to her feet. Kougu took a few hurried steps away from her, then glanced away – scratching the back of his head awkwardly. Since he had been managing to overcome his barriers, Charlie had seemed to be becoming far more comfortable with invading his excessive amount of personal space – but he was still struggling with it. Nothing had changed for him… Not really… Except that his desire to keep from hurting Charlie’s feelings by constantly running away from her had become greater than his desire to keep himself to himself.
“You should find something to eat in the kitchen… At least, I hope so. You should be able to find some cereal and fruit, at the least.” He said suddenly, speaking a little faster than usual due to the lingering nervousness of touching Charlie’s hand at that moment. He stepped over to the door, glancing expectantly towards Charlie. “You can help yourself.” He offered kindly, “Meanwhile – I’ll get myself sorted out.” He pulled a face at this idea, then released a soft laugh – his dark eyes showing a rare spark of life as he watched Charlie – calmer and more comfortable now. “And Charlie…” He murmured as an afterthought, speaking on impulse. “You know… You’re really a wonderful person. I- I just wanted to thank you… And just- Remember that, okay? You’re perfect. Don’t let anybody change that… Change you.” His earnest gaze remained fixed on her for a moment before he glanced timidly away – suddenly acting as ashamed and skittish as a puppy that has disobeyed its master – and knows it! He supposed it was more out of habit than anything else… He had been born a kind person, but every time he let himself grow too soft, and too like himself, he simply remembered his father… And the things he might have done to punish such ‘rebellion’.

I watched in absolute amazement as the emotions took turns to show on Kougu's face before he began to answer my pointless babble I'd tried so hard to avoid in case I confused him in any way, although I guess I didn't want any more awkward silences after what had happened the night before, the night I nearly died... No. No, stop thinking about it. I ordered myself sternly. It's in the past. It meant nothing... I had to forget those events before they took hold on me like they had done so savagely in my sleep. I had to forget everything... But it was going to be easier said than done, I had to remember that. Just as long as I didn't mention it, as long as I didn't talk to anyone about it... Including Kougu. I was certain he didn't want to remember what he'd tried to do either. So hopefully, once his stab wound was completely sorted and had healed, we would both be able to get along without having those terrifying events on both our consciences. I know I wouldn't want to remember how my best friend tried to strangle and slit my throat... Wait, what? Get over it... Forget it... It doesn't matter... But he'd tried to kill me! How could that not matter? Great, so those nightmares had had an impact on my mind all along, I had just been too tired to think about it. I didn't want to look at Kougu in any other way than the kind boy that saved my life, that had given me a home when my other home had been practically stolen for a couple of days whilst the policemen happily trashed what was left of our valuables... Okay, now that not something I wanted to be thinking about right now. Focus... I blinked a few times, watching the smile slowly creeping onto Kougu's lips and suddenly found myself slumping in relief. What was I worrying about? He wasn't going to lay a harmful hand on me for a long while yet, especially when he was a weak as he was. I was going to be fine.
“Sorry” he spoke, although he didn't look the slightest bit shameful for whatever he was apologizing for. Honestly, I didn't know either. I was about to ask him why, that he had done plenty for me already, that I didn't need to be fed like a baby, that his personal well-being mattered so much more to me than my rumbling stomach. But thankfully, he beat me to it. “I forgot that you ‘normal people’ need to eat.” I was regarding taking this as an insult, but decided against it. There was nothing wrong with normal. There was nothing wrong with being hungry... Wait a minute... He didn't eat? How could he survive? Wasn't food, like, one of the most vital things we as humans need to stay alive? I felt a hand push my shoulder gently and looked up to see Kougu standing up beside me, chuckling away to himself. I then caught onto the joke, and found myself giggling with him. No sooner had I done so, the edges of his lips sank as he apologized to me again, this time much more serious than before. I personally didn't understand why he was being so apologetic, as he had the perfect excuse that he'd previously stabbed himself in the ribs. I wasn't a baby. If I'd really been dying I would have gone into the kitchen and found some food myself. I just... I'd been occupied with much more important things, like sleep... “I’m not used to having people around, you understand… So please, just help yourself to anything you need in this place. We both know I’m not going to remember to feed you!” I suddenly found myself grinning with him. He knew I didn't need to be fed like a baby, didn't he? I was only a year or two younger than him. Perhaps more... But, still... He had to know I didn't need to be spoon fed, I just didn't feel comfortable walking around his property, using all his things without his consent. It just wasn't right. I knew what it was like to have your house invaded and your own property used irresponsibly by someone else, especially when you know you can't do anything about it. It wasn't pleasant. It wasn't pleasant at all.
Kougu hovered over me for a moment, clearly debating on what to do with himself, when a hand reached over towards my own and I felt the long fingers wrap around my palm as he helped pull me to my feet. Startled, I watched him blankly, his touch tingling on my palm. Had he just done that? After snapping as soon as the night before? He'd actually had that much control over himself? My lips twitched a smile. So that meant he was gradually getting better and better at controlling his... well, his everything. I looked down at my hand, surprised to see the tips of my fingers twitching slightly. Great. Now we had Kougu's self control on the road to progression, I had to start thinking about hiding my feelings when he did something as little as put his hand on my shoulder, or help me to my feet. It wasn't that big a deal... Was it? I mean, any other person would probably be used to having so much physical contact with another, even if they were just friends. But this was Kougu. He never touched someone whom he did not trust. Never. Surely that meant he trusted me as not just his acquaintance, nor his flat mate, but his friend. Had this finally proved that I had befriended him? I looked up, just in time to notice him shuffle away from me rather quickly, and I found myself smiling in amusement. Once again he was running away from me. He was too embarrassed to see my expression in case I burst out laughing like I had done last time. But of course, I was a little bit more mature than that, since... Well, since... Okay, I didn't know. But I was going to keep my feelings a little more under control, since Kougu had made the effort to try and control his, therefore I would too.
“You should find something to eat in the kitchen… At least, I hope so. You should be able to find some cereal and fruit, at the least. You can help yourself.” I noticed the quickness in the way he was saying this, and I think he could sense it too. Was he... nervous? Had my emotions been that obvious? Oh god, I'd have to start practising hiding them a little better. I nodded, feeling my gaze slip down slightly, colour rushing to my cheeks. Making him feel nervous just made me feel guilty and slightly stupid. He shouldn't have felt so uncomfortable... I shouldn't have made him feel uncomfortable; it wasn't necessary. Moron... the little voice in my head whispered irritably. Moron... moron moron moron,,, Shut up! I scrunched my eyes closed, just in time to hear Kougu's gentle tone overpowering the mental conflict going on inside my head. “ Meanwhile – I’ll get myself sorted out” Sensing that he'd calmed down by this point, I found myself relaxing slightly. He was fine, I was fine. Why was I being so paranoid? Nothing was going to go wrong. Nothing... “Yeah, you'd better” I muttered, the edges of my lips twitching upwards slightly. Because if he didn't sort himself out, then I'd have to do it, and we both knew he'd be a goner if he let me anywhere near his rib cage. There were far too many vital organs in there that might be damaged if he let me anywhere near his wound, and I doubted he would anyway. He had the common sense and the intelligence to know not to let me anywhere near there, as he knew even if my intentions weren't meant to be lethal, they certainly would end up so if I tried to fix him up myself.
“And Charlie” my head snapped up at the use of my name and I turned to see Kougu looking at me earnestly, his face flooding with honesty. “You know… You’re really a wonderful person. I- I just wanted to thank you… And just- Remember that, okay? You’re perfect. Don’t let anybody change that… Change you” My eyebrows knitted together slightly. I had never been spoken to like that, and although I was touched, I found it so difficult to accept what he was saying. He thought I was wonderful? And perfect? How the hell could he think that? My head shook slowly from side-to-side, denial rising from within me. He wasn't serious, was he? Me, of all people... He thought I was perfect. Perfect! I was far from perfect, and I was reminded so almost every day of my miserable life. Everything he'd just told me, I'd always been told the complete opposite my 'hers truly' in the living room. There had always been something wrong with me in her eyes. As for Jimmy, well, he didn't exactly speak as badly of me as mum, but then again in his eyes I was property. His property. The kind of person I was didn't really matter to him, it was how easy I was to be 'man-handled'. So yeah, Jimmy didn't really count. “No...” I began quietly, still shaking my head. “No, I'm really not. But thanks anyway. Sometimes I really don't deserve you...” I trailed off, feeling myself grow hot. I never talked to anyone like this, not this intensely. In fact, not really at all. Not for at least six years. Now it just felt weird. “Go on, get yourself sorted. I'll be back later to clean the bathroom, since I no longer trust you with sharp objects” I said cheekily, flashing him a grin before walking out the room, slowly heading into the kitchen.
Andrew Marr's cheerful voice rang through the television speakers in the other room as The Politics Show theme tune echoed into the kitchen. What was mum doing watching the Politics Show? She knew nothing about politics, and whenever she heard anything about the economy she'd just start cursing and swearing at the TV screen anyway. I rolled my eyes, squatting down and opening a cupboard to look for the cereal.
“So Eleanor, what your saying is because more jobs are going to be lost in the next five years we should be spending more to save more?”
“What I'm saying, Andrew, is that if we all started saving up our money we would find less money would be rotated round the economy and less people would be willing to give their finances, meaning it would take far longer to save up if everyone was saving than it would if everyone was spending. Therefore, the economy would be wealthier and we wouldn't have a problem with price-cuts”
“But if you think about it, what would all those who are even struggling to save up do, especially if it was because they weren't being paid in the first place, or if they had been sacked or made redundant, for instance?”
Good question Andrew, I thought.
“Well, statistics have shown that there is only a very small percent of the population suffering at the moment due to the lack of jobs, and of course there's always the NHS. So really, those people should have nothing to worry about” (Don't worry if that made no sense to you, it didn't to me either xD)
“Small percentage my backside!” Mum's angry voice moaned from the other room. Strange as it was, this one time, I actually believed her.
I stood up, looking rather perplexed around the kitchen. Where on earth did Kougu keep his cereal? I reached onto my tip-toes, stretching my arm out over my head to the small slot above the higher cupboard, noticing a large white and red box, which would hopefully be filled with some sort of cereal. I brought it down onto the worktop, pulling out a bowl from another shelf and shaking the golden flakes into the bowl. Cornflakes. Smiling to myself, I strolled to the fridge to get the milk.
...And so, Andrew, it is only logical that everyone started spending more, as it would secure this country's future and insure that it remains bright for the next few decades.”
More shouting and swearing.
“Charleen, is that you?” I raised an eyebrow, my eyes narrowing slightly. I don't know, I thought, annoyed. Is it? For goodness' sake, I meant that little to her that she couldn't even get my name right? “Where's my tea?” I rolled my eyes, flicking the kettle on carelessly with my finger. Well, the quiet had been nice while it lasted.
“I'm working on it” I shouted, fumbling around for a spoon and some tea bags. They had to be around here somewhere...
“Yeah well, hurry up. I'm parched” I clenched my fist around the corner of the work surface and bit my lip, simply in order to hold back any angry remarks that were threatening to dribble out of my mouth. Outside, a loud siren rang through the streets.
“What the hell is with that racket? I heard it this morning” Mum whined, but I couldn't help but feel a stab of recognition to that siren. That was a fire engine siren. That was a similar siren I'd heard moments earlier. So why was it sounding so close to the house?
“Yeah, so did I...” I mumbled, although I doubted she'd heard me. Dropping everything I was doing, I strode to the front window, pulling back the curtain to see what was going on. It seemed like nothing out of the ordinary at first, but I knew better than to dismiss ever hearing those sirens repeatedly throughout the morning. Something was going on. But what? I squinted, noticing a few people running down the road Kougu and I had walked to get to my house, panic choking their faces. My house... But I was just getting paranoid again. It couldn't be my house, the only people that had been in my house had been those policemen, and they had had no intentions of setting it on fire... had they? No... No, I was sure of it. Besides, they were policemen. They would never set a house alight even if they wanted to, as they knew the law better than anyone. I was getting in a mess over nothing. My eyes trailed to the rooftops up ahead, noticing a bright golden glow above one of the houses. My eyes widened. No... No, it can't be... But it was, and it had been all morning. I gasped, dropping the curtain and speeding out the room, down the hallway and out the house, slamming the door closed behind me. Don't let it be true, I begged silently. Please don't let it be true... I skipped into a sprint down the cobbled road, my matted hair flying past my face as I darted past the people in my way, falling to a stop as I reached the street corner where the house would supposedly be, where all the fire engines were headed. My eyes darted madly at the crowd which was quickly building in a ring around the front wall, all standing just a meter or so away form the stone steps that led to the front door. I felt like I was in a dream. No, a nightmare. A nightmare which I was not awaking from. My head shook quickly front side-to-side as I tried to tell myself it wasn't real, that none of this, right here, was real. But as I looked up to examine what they were looking up, I realised my nightmare was no less than my horrific reality.
Flames licked the brown stone walls, sprouting out of the broken windows that could barely be seen behind the red hot glow of the devouring fire that had covered the whole house in a deadly decay. Above the roof the sky was black with heavy rain clouds, yet the rain seemed to be holding back in a tormenting fashion, even when it knew if it simply let the water fall if would rid of the fire altogether. Yet it decided it would rather watch me suffer, it would rather watch the tears, which were now silently streaming down my pale, blood-drained cheeks. As if I hadn't had enough punishment already. Didn't everyone know how many times I had been reminded of my sins in the past few years? Trembling, I fell to my knees, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach. This couldn't be happening. Not to me. Not here. Not now... My fingers knotted in my long brown hair. As I let out a loud, desperate cry. “Nooooooooo!” My eyes scrunched closed so tightly they felt as if they were pushing my eyeballs back into my skull. Breathless, I looked up, feeling a large woosh of heat hit my shivering body. But I didn't comfort me. I felt far from comforted. The fire fighters were trying to get the fire out, although I'd barely noticed them. But the fire was far too strong, far too invincible for any of their petty hoses. Everyone around me just stared gormlessly at the flames as they grew to impossible heights at the top of the chimney, a couple muttering, asking whose house it was, that it was that Atkinson's home, that they'd not been seen since they talked to the police a few days ago, that the daughter was an antisocial so-and-so, a lying thief, that it was a shame...
You don't have a ruddy clue I thought bitterly. But I said nothing. Did nothing. Instead, I sat back and watched, as the home I had lived in my entire life, the house I had witnessed and experienced so many horrors, the one place that held my most precious memories, burned slowly, and effectively to the ground.

(Mwahaha! )

((Okay - turns out I had a lot to type about after all, and now I feel slightly dead. ))

Kougu ignored Charlie’s response to his rather embarrassing little outburst a moment before, since he was not much interested in hearing her denial anyway. Did she not realize how amazing she was…? How lucky she was to be such a good person?! What he wouldn’t give to have that… But no, he was destined to be the scum of the earth – it was simply his fate, and he had accepted that. Yet Charlie – she was near enough a saint in his eyes, so why couldn’t she see it? Accept it? Appreciate it…? It was as though she was denying herself the rewards offered to her for her own goodness. He didn’t really understand it. But then again, did he ever really understand anything? Not very often.
Either way, that little outburst of honesty had apparently been a very bad idea on his part, since both he and Charlie were now trapped in a terribly awkward atmosphere which had been pleasantly comfortable a moment before. So, once again, he had messed up. Could he ever do anything right…? He supposed not, but then again, he had found Charlie. Charlie…
He would have to watch himself. He knew he had a habit of idolizing those few people who actually managed to become a part of his life. And even aside from that, he had a somewhat obsessive personality. He certainly didn’t want Charlie to suffer the brunt of his insanity, so he would have to be sure to keep himself in check…
Charlie’s words interrupted his slightly degrading thoughts then, and Kougu glanced over at her with slight trepidation. She wasn’t really upset, right…? “Go on, get yourself sorted. I'll be back later to clean the bathroom, since I no longer trust you with sharp objects.” Kougu’s breath suddenly caught in his throat as panic flashed through him – despair and hopelessness flooding through him before he had time to blink, leaving him painfully saturated. From all she had said, Kougu had taken in but one thing: ”I no longer trust you.” That was what she had said. It ought to have made him feel relieved, perhaps even celebratory, but it didn’t. It struck him like a physical blow, knocking the air out of him until he felt he was suffocating. Why? Why was this happening…? He should be glad. Glad! Why on earth was he so disappointed? This was for Charlie’s own good! Who the hell was he to be disappointed in a decision that could spare her life? Gosh, he truly was a worthless swine after all. He always had been… So selfish, cruel, foolish… Unworthy.
But wait – this was stupid. Had he even listened properly to what she had said? Kougu’s eyes darted over her face – taking in the grin. That didn’t exactly fit the situation… What had she said?
Kougu thought back over her words, then dropped his head in relief – a chuckle escaping his lips. Gosh, but he had been a fool. His lips twitched into a smile, and he glanced back at Charlie – finally understanding – and flashing an appreciative grin. She had lightened the heavy atmosphere weighing on them both. “Well, that makes two of us.” Kougu replied with a grin as Charlie began to walk away. It surprised him how easy it was to laugh and smile when in Charlie’s presence. She had made an inconceivable impact on him… So much so that he was almost finding his own personality, and that gave him the strength to resist. Kougu’s grin quietened into a serene smile which continued to play on his lips with his thoughts. He had thought that he was broken beyond repair… But somehow, Charlie had found the pieces. All he had to do now was gradually fit himself back together… If only it was that easy.

Kougu shook his head in faint amusement, then pushed the bathroom door aside and stepped out, heading to his room to gather up some clothes. He was desperate for a shower, and he figured now was as good a time as any. He entered the room and pulled a cupboard open, scratching through it for some clothes. Unfortunately, he actually had very few items of clothing that still fit him. He had outgrown most of them over the years, and of course Kougu would not be caught dead in a clothes store… The very idea was laughable!
Kougu snorted derisively at his thoughts, then managed to come across a pair of slightly tatty jeans that he thought would fit. He hung them over his arm and began scratching around in what had once been his ‘shirt drawer’ but had become more of a ‘box-full of everything and anything’ over the years.
Neat and tidy as the house was, his cupboards did not count as part of it in his mind, and he treated them thus.
Whilst scratching around, Kougu’s fingers caught on a sharp edge. He winced painfully as the hard object struck the deep slices in his hand, but closed his fingers around it and yanked it out nonetheless.
The object emerged in a flood of old clothes, and Kougu picked a sock off it before holding it up to examine it properly. It was a little picture frame – the glass old and cracked and the paper browning at the edges.
It depicted a lie.
There stood his mother – her face as beautiful as ever, though this time simply glowing in the radiance of her joy. Her silky blonde hair was curled upon her head in a gleaming bun, a flawless cherry blossom inserted just above her ear. Behind her, in the blurred background, stood a collection of sakura trees – all releasing their delightful pink blossoms into the air. The cherry blossoms exactly matched the colour of her lips – parted in breathless happiness for the timeless moment. Her long white dress rippled over her dainty figure like liquid silk… So smooth he could almost-
Kougu’s finger trailed over the dress, but all he felt was the dusty glass of the picture frame. He bit his lip, and looked away from his mother. He could never touch her again… Because she was gone.
Instead, he turned his attention to the man standing next to her. He was tall, with fine, olive toned skin and jet black hair. He was clean shaven, of course, and his lips, too, were stretched into a smile. His black tuxedo was perfect – not a single crinkle of a speck of dust, not even a cherry blossom settling on his shoulders. It was as though the petals themselves sensed his darkness, and veered away…
At first glance, one might say he looked as happy as the woman beside him, but Kougu knew better. His lips smiled, his cheeks smiled, but his eyes did not. Always before, Kougu had thought that his father’s eyes were black… As black as the soul they hid so effectively. But looking now, he could see the hint of mysterious blue. Just like his own… Perhaps a shade darker, but definitely blue – not black. Blue, and icy… His eyes did not smile. They were hard, they were cruel and they were cold – yet there was a lingering excitement there that Kougu recognised all too well.
So he had been planning it, even then…?
Kougu’s jaw tightened and he forced his gaze away from the old photo. It was nothing but a picture of a forgotten memory… Nothing he did now would change it. His mother was dead, and his father was not here. There was no reason to loose his temper…
Calming himself, Kougu flipped the picture frame over, and opened the back. He tugged out the old, browned paper – started at the image for a moment – then ripped it clean in two. The half depicting his father was clenched in his shaking fist within a moment, and the side depicting his mother was carefully replaced in the frame, which he then dropped back into ‘the box of everything and anything’, which he now realised had originally been the sock drawer, and not the shirt drawer.
The frame soon vanished into the sea of fabric, and Kougu turned away from the sorry sight. It was like watching a sinking ship…
He shook the thoughts aside, then clenched his fist tighter around the scrunched piece of photograph in his hand – not caring about the pain it caused him when it pressed against his wounded palms. He clenched it tighter, crushing it into a bundle, then tried to calm himself. No such luck – his hands were shaking in fury. Kougu clenched his jaw and bowed his head, but it was as though the picture in his hand was burning a hole in his heart. Finally, he could take it no longer. With a vicious snarl, Kougu flung it from him. The tiny crumpled ball hit the opposite wall, then rebounded off it to land innocently on the bedside table, but Kougu had already turned away and busied himself with his previous task – icily calm now with his fury cast aside and naught but bitterness remaining.

Finally, he found a shirt that might fit, and yanked it out from beneath a box of junk. He slung it over his arm beside the jeans, and pushed the cupboard doors shut with a soft click.
Kougu turned away from the cupboard, and stepped swiftly out of the room – still slightly disturbed by his discovery. Such love and such hatred in one photo… It was as though someone had dropped his heart into liquid nitrogen, then fished it out and tossed it into the crater of a volcano. He had no idea how the stubborn organ was still beating… Stubborn… Kougu was reminded of Charlie despite himself, and a soft chuckle escaped his lips – ignoring his resistance. He allowed a faint smile to tint his lips, and decided to cast his black mood aside. When he was given an opportunity to actually feel good for once, he might as well make the most of it…
Thus, smiling slightly to himself, Kougu strolled back toward the bathroom and went inside, pulling the door shut behind him. He turned the key, and the lock clicked satisfyingly.
He dumped his clothes upon the floor and glanced around the bathroom for a moment. It really was a mess…
Well aware that he was procrastinating, yet denying it diligently, Kougu began to gather together all the shards of broken mirror and dump them into the little dustbin next to the sink. It was boring, time-consuming work – but something about the monotony of it all soothed him, so Kougu was glad to continue with his task until the floor was spotless. He stepped back to admire his handiwork, then tossed the bloodstained cleaning rag that he had been using into the bin.

Kougu had run out of things to stall over now, so he resigned himself to getting cleaned up.


Meanwhile…

The sirens howled and wailed eerily through the icy air, the echoing sounds warped and distorted by the cruel breeze that began to assault the earth, as though desperate to aid the flames for all it was worth – holding back the rain from the thick black clouds until they seemed so fit to burst that one would not have been surprised to see them start trembling with the effort of holding back their load. The silence of the early morning pressed heavily on the earth, yet it was shattered by the excited chattering of the gathering of fools staring with open-mouthed admiration at the burning house.
The man scoffed slightly at this thought. How foolish these peons were… To be so entranced by power… Did they not realise that true power was at the very fingertips of the human race? That all they had to do was reach out and grab it? No, they did not – and that was why they were unworthy, just like the rest.
The soles of his gleaming Italian leather shoes tapped smartly on the hard asphalt beneath his feet as he walked on in a confident stride. His glossy black hair remained perfectly undisturbed by the wind – not a single strand straying out of place, but remaining perfectly neat. He would not tolerate disobedience, even from his own hair.
He was nearing the fire now, and the golden light from the flames danced over his neat black suit, causing him to frown in irritation at the untidy patterns of light marring his flawless appearance. He swiped his face clean of expression, however, as he approached the yammering crowd. This was the girl’s house, and he knew that she would be here. He had seen her that night at the house, and he never forgot a face… He would easily be able to find her in this crowd.
Thus, the man scanned the countless faces around him, until he finally found the one he was looking for. His cold eyes fixed upon her, and his lips slowly curved into a sickeningly convincing smile – charmingly flashing his ice-white, perfectly straight teeth.
He walked over to the girl with a pretence at a friendly, casual stride and laid a hand on her shoulder in an amiable gesture.
“Hi there!” He greeted her in a voice so friendly he might have been a salesman. “I’m here as a representative for the organisation ‘Habitat for Humanity’.” He said silkily – his grin unwavering. He did not give the girl a chance to speak, nor did he pay any attention to her, but simply went on with his speech – playing the ‘salesman card’ flawlessly. “I believe this is your home burning down?” He questioned, just as casually, before going on without waiting for an answer. “You see, at HFH, we take it upon ourselves to give homes to the homeless – which includes rebuilding houses that have burned down. Well, Miss Atkinson, it seems today is your lucky day! My superiors have decided that we shall be rebuilding your home!” He paused a moment for effect, his grin widening as he patted her shoulder supportively, yet with the hard, icy expression in his eyes never faltering – not even for a moment. “I am needed elsewhere now, but to receive your free home, you need only give us a call and come in to the office to talk over the details.” He pressed a business card bearing a cellphone number and email address on it into her hand, then stepped back – the same sickly grin still plastered onto his handsome face. “Best of luck, Miss Atkinson. We hope to hear from you soon!” He took her hand and shook it forcefully, then turned away and walked off into the crowd. The boy would be here soon. He needed to hurry…
The man’s long legs stretched out further, and his hard soles tapped the hard ground slightly quicker as he melted away into the crowd – vanishing completely amongst the sea of faces.
And there it was… The seed had been planted, and plan A was in action. Honestly, this game was so easy it almost wasn’t worth his while… He had every one of his pawns lined up to become a queen – and all that was left for him to do was to check the king… Too easy.


Back at the house…

Kougu unlocked the bathroom door and pushed it open – now appropriately bandaged and stitched up, and thoroughly unconcerned by the prospect of getting yet another scar. He was used to it by now… He was completely covered in them.
Kougu’s dark hair was wet, dripping cold water down his back to soak into his faded black shirt. Even when soaked with water and well groomed, his hair still managed to look a complete mess. It simply refused to be tamed, no matter what he did to it.
Kougu frowned as he heard the distant sound of sirens, and a shudder ran down his spine. Touched by an incomprehensible trepidation, Kougu crept along the corridor and peeked tentatively around the corner to see the kitchen. As he had expected, Charlie was not there.
That was all the motivation he needed.
Kougu spun around and dashed to the door – knocking over the coat rack in his haste. It clattered to the ground, and Kougu somehow managed to get his feet entangled in it – sending him crashing down onto the hard wooden floor beside it.
Not wasting any time, Kougu quickly scrambled up – grabbing a hoodie from the fallen rack as he went. He pulled it over his head as he was already breaking into a run, but then he got lost. The darkness seemed to press on his eyes as attempted to shove his head into one of the sleeves – somehow having lost the neck hole. Yet, full of urgency as he was, Kougu kept running blindly. Thus, it was not entirely unexpected when he collided with the door and had to stagger backwards. Slightly dizzy, and amused by his own silliness in the situation, Kougu giggled giddily as he straightened the hoodie and managed to put it on properly – with all his limbs in the right places.
Once it was on, he tugged open the door and resumed his race.
He leaped down the three steps leading up to the front door – very proud of himself for remembering that they were there and not falling over them – then bolted off down the garden path.
He skidded round the corner on the rough asphalt of the street, making him extremely glad that he had worn shoes for once, then bolted off down the street, moving towards the plumes of smoke masking the flames that he knew were licking at the sky. Charlie…
Now that the knock on his head was wearing off, Kougu was becoming more serious, and now he was worried. Very worried. It did not take a genius to guess what had happened… Gnawing his lip anxiously, Kougu redoubled his pace – ignoring the painful protests from his unfit lungs.
As he neared the crowd of people, his stride faltered, and Kougu came to a standstill. He stood in the middle of the empty street, panting heavily, and staring at the large gathering of unfamiliar faces. He couldn’t go there… He couldn’t! Kougu strained toward the burning house, but his feet refused to move, and simply remained planted where they stood. Charlie… She was somewhere there! That was her house burning down! What sort of friend was he to hang back and do nothing while she was suffering?! Kougu shook his head violently, struggling with his mental conflict. He had to do something…
Kougu bit his lip so hard that that blood flooded over his tongue within a moment, drowning him in its repulsive metallic taste. Kougu spat out the mouthful, feeling utterly sickened, then let his dark eyes scan the crowd again. Painful indecision creased his face as Kougu desperately sought out the face of his friend.
Then he saw her, and his decision was made.
Without a second more hesitance, Kougu stepped determinedly forward and made his way into the crowd – wincing each time somebody’s shoulder bumped him, and panicking each time he caught a snippet of the excited conversation bouncing back and forth between them. Yet still, he pressed on, pushing tentatively through the crowds toward Charlie. He knew there was nothing he could do to save the house now… But he could be there for Charlie, at the very least.
Finally, Kougu reached her. He stepped up quietly beside her, and came to a standstill at her side, letting his silence speak for him. His lips parted slightly as he stared up at the blazing inferno before him… The charred and blackened building which had once been Charlie’s home. Who had done this…? Protective anger flared up within Kougu, but he squashed it down – knowing that any sort of revenge would be thoroughly unhelpful. It was not his job to avenge…
Without looking away from the dancing flames, Kougu placed his hand softly on Charlie’s shoulder – completely unaware that he was touching the selfsame spot that his father’s skin had rested on a moment before. A shudder ran through him at the contact, as was expected, but he did not even consider drawing back. He still was not completely comfortable, but like when Charlie had been shot, this was an exception to his usual rules. It mattered now…
Kougu squeezed Charlie’s shoulder gently, hoping that the gesture would bring her comfort. Praying that he could just make some small difference… Somehow make this easier for her. “Are you okay?” He murmured finally, turning his head to look at her – the flames dancing in his dark eyes as they gazed at her with tender concern. Why did this have to happen to Charlie…? It wasn’t fair… She didn’t deserve this…

“Hi there!” A cheerful voice jeered beside me, feeling so out of place in the distressing atmosphere for a moment I wondered whether I'd imagined it. It was unfamiliar to me who it might have come from, but to be honest, I barely even cared. I slumped over, defeated on the tarmac, unable to stop the tears from cascading down my pale, bloodless cheeks. I didn't want to be seen sobbing by a complete stranger, but it seemed I didn't really have a choice. I looked up at the speaker, my eyes flooding with tears. I wanted him to see that his cheer and euphoria didn't belong in my company.
He was tall, I could tell that much. His build seemed fairly stocky, he towered over me by several feet, although I was still kneeling. His hair was a glossy jet black, and not a single strand was out of place, even with the strength of the frigid wind that seemed to be only doing the fire more justice by wafting each roaring flame in every direction. His olive-toned skin glowed perfectly beside the blazing sea of flames, and his lips were curved into an oddly pleasant, animated smile that seemed to only make me feel worse. I didn't want this, I didn't want anyone. Why was he even here? What did he want? “ I’m here as a representative for the organisation ‘Habitat for Humanity’.” He didn't seem to be aware of my own feelings, since he went on as if I hadn't even been there. “I believe this is your home burning down?” I looked down, suddenly feeling vulnerable. How could he say it like he was selling something? He might as well have said 'I believe this is your window'? Or 'I believe this is your broken dishwasher'? As he seemed more like he was offering me a new dishwasher than a home. Go away... I begged silently. I don't want you here. I don't want to be reminded of what I've lost. Go away... He didn't give me any chance to answer, as it seemed he already knew the answer. He was dressed in a business-like suit, making me already feel like I wasn't going to like what he was ready to say to me. The only businessmen I had met gave me bad impressions, as they only seemed to ever be interested in money. It never bothered them what the money they were taking would do to the people they were taking it from. It was like they weren't even humans at all. No, I wasn't going to like this. Not at all. “You see, at HFH, we take it upon ourselves to give homes to the homeless – which includes rebuilding houses that have burned down. Well, Miss Atkinson, it seems today is your lucky day! My superiors have decided that we shall be rebuilding your home!”
I could just imagine the cheesy fanfare in the background, the random 'glamorous assistants' in bright pink pencil skirts, the cameras... What was this... this 'Habitat for Humanity' anyway? Was it a charity? Actually, no, it couldn't be. Charities don't advertise, unless it's for donations. No, this was a company. But what was 'Habitat for Humanity'? I'd never heard of it... And how did he know my name? I'd never met him before, I was certain of it. He looked different to the other businessmen I'd met, although he did still wear the same expression, like he didn't care how other people felt, like what mattered was what the bigger picture held for him. I'd had about enough of these people. Why couldn't they just leave us alone?

Wait a minute, what was he offering me again? He was offering to rebuild the house, for free apparently. But wait, what was the catch? Was there a catch? Oh, what the hell. Why was I being so suspicious? I should have been happy, even if my home was being burned to the ground. I should have been thanking him, but how could I? His happiness wasn't even comforting. I flinched slightly, feeling his heavy hand pat my shoulder. I didn't like his touch, that wasn't comforting either. It was just like the rest of him, smug, cheerful, and completely business-like. Despite what he was offering me, I had decided I didn't like him.
“I am needed elsewhere now, but to receive your free home, you need only give us a call and come in to the office to talk over the details ” The sharp, cold edge of a business card was pushed into my palm and I found myself automatically clasping it with my shaking fingers. I looked down at the greyness that was the concrete flooring below me, my eyes flickering aimlessly as I tried to force my racing head to stop so I could look over my choices. It was the best I was going to get, I knew that much. And we'd need a house to live in, since I know mum of all people couldn't live in Kougu's house forever, no matter how good Kougu's tolerance was. We'd need a house soon, and the mortgage we'd been lucky enough to afford wasn't going to be enough to pay off a whole new building programme. I might as well agree to it, as it was as good as I was going to get.
“Best of luck, Miss Atkinson. We hope to hear from you soon!” He grasped my cold hand and shook it enthusiastically, almost causing my entire body to shake in time with him. I tensed up suddenly, feeling my personally space being invaded involuntarily. Great, now I knew how Kougu felt whenever I got within spitting distance with him. But at least he could always push me away. Next to this male I had no chance, since he was bold, stocky, tall, and just had one of those faces... Like you wanted to please them, like you wanted that smile to be real. I just felt like I couldn't push him away, despite everything. I glanced down at the card in my palm, my glassy eyes flickering over the sleek covering, the sheik, business-like background, the rounded lettering. I'd need this one day, perhaps maybe even soon. I sighed, slipping it in my back pocket to look up and see than the man had disappeared back into the crowd. I frowned. I'd not even found out how he knew my name.

Wiping the tears still burning my eyes, I looked up at the burning building, my expression defeated. I could do nothing about what had happened that morning, but I felt as if I didn't want to leave it there, still burning. It was like watching a relative in their death bed, watching the breath slowly being taken away from them. You just couldn't leave them whilst they were still breathing, even when you know they'll die anyway. I shuffled onto my pelvis, leaning back on the cold stone wall behind me. The flames were gradually calming now, but the firemen still couldn't seem to rid of them completely. They were over powered by the sheer force of the fire, crackling at the tiled on the roof, melting the window sills, sending the white ceilings to a sickly black just by a simple touch of the burning flames dancing freely into every room. It was like they were mocking me, laughing at me... Try and stop us... Go on, we dare you... Try and save your precious home... But I didn't. I sat there, fresh droplets of salty tears pouring down my hot cheeks. That's my home... My only home... Everything happened in that little brick box. My entire life... I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them tightly, drenching my limbs with new sheds of tears. The businessman's words rang through my head: “Today is your lucky day!...To receive your free home... Give us a call... come into the office... Talk over details...” Should I tell Kougu? I did live with him, after all. But still, it wasn't certain that I was definitely going to get it rebuilt. I'd have to make sure that I was positive before drowning him with my false, indefinite propositions before I'd even had them checked over. No, I'd keep this to myself for now, and I'd give it a day or two of thought. Then I'd go see what I was putting myself into. If I agreed with it, then I'd tell him. But until then, I'd keep the card in my back pocket, and hopefully, all this would be worth it.

A hand rested itself on my shoulder – this time much gentler than the businessman's heavy touch, although it still made me tense slightly. The dark haired man's touch still ate away at my nerves, causing the hand to just feel as heavy as the businessman's touch had. I felt invaded, again.
Flinching, I turned my head to look at who's hand it was this time, just in time to see Kougu stand himself beside me, concern flooding over his expression. A moment or two earlier this sight, him having his hand on my shoulder and showing how honestly he cared, might have just made me feel comforted. But now, it just seem to make me feel even worse. “Are you okay?” Kougu's soft, innocent voice hummed beside me, somehow causing anger to boil inside me. Was I alright? Was that the best he could do? Clenching my jaw, I shrugged off his touch, shuffling away from him. “What d'you think?” I asked tonelessly, gazing aimlessly down the street. Everything had gone quiet now, people had decided the excitement was over and that there was not really much left to see. All there was left of the crowd that had been like a sea of people just a few minutes ago had now calmed down to just the fire engine, the firemen and a handful of old-aged pensioners repeating the same conversation over and over again, like they'd completely forgotten they'd said anything. To everyone else, the fire was really nothing more than a temporary tourist attraction, a reason to get out the house, a subject of gossip. It didn't really occur to anyone that it might actually be someone's home they're watching reduce itself to ashes. They don't think much further outside the box than 'a house on fire'. Holding my breath in attempt to hold back yet more tears, I turned back to Kougu, my eyes flashing. “I lived there for sixteen years. In that house contained all my memories: watching my little brother be born and grow into a little toddler, my father, and mother... Back when she... Back when she had my father. My entire life evolved around that dump...” I trailed off, unable to stop a single tear from rolling down my cheek. I looked away, letting out a bitter chuckle escape my pale lips. “And in just a matter of hours I watch it reduce itself to ashes. Yet I can do nothing about it but watch as my entire life burns up in flames... My entire life...” I shook my head, pulling myself to my feet. I was really crying now, but unlike before I didn't care who knew it. I didn't care who saw me. I didn't even care what I said to people. I just wanted to be alone. I took a few steps forward, running a hand through my long, damp hair. “And your asking me if I'm okay?” I said shakily, turning back to him. “Kougu, how can I ever be okay?” I continued to retreat from him, shaking my head bitterly. “Forget it. Just, forget it. You don't understand. No one understands...” I bit my lip, quickening my pace into a sprint. I didn't want to be here anymore. I'd seen enough; I'd seen too much. I just had to get away... away from there.

I ran away from the scene, from the street, until I got to a series of dark alleyways trashed with old dustbins and cigarette stubs which littered the cobbled street. It seemed quiet enough, it was peaceful. Great. I hadn't had this much peace and quiet in weeks. Sniffing, I stuffed my shivering hands in my hoodie pockets and strolled around the street, enjoying the silence and the light tapping of my muddy trainers hitting the uneven granite stones. Above me, a crow called out as it soared above my head, as if sharing the freedom with me, it's company. I sighed to myself, kicking a small lump off moss from the gutter I passed. Time to think. Alone. Perfect.

“Hello again” My brow furrowed. It's weird, that voice almost sounded like... Oh no... My head snapped up. “Thought you'd seen the last of me, didn't you, babe?” Jimmy sneered, his icy blue eyes flashing menacingly down at me beneath the ends of his short fringe. There was something about him, something that warned me to run... I stopped in my tracks, looking round for an escape route. We were alone, for now. So if I just backed away from him... It seemed Jimmy had read me like a book, as he had already lunged forward and snatched my wrist, pulling me sharply towards him. I gasped, startled, and forced myself to look up at him with wide, terrified eyes. What was he going to do to me? Surely it couldn't be much worse than shooting me, since he'd already tried that one. But I wasn't ready to face any more pain; everything was happening too fast. I'd only just settled over the fact my house was still burning to the ground. I couldn't have him beating the life out of me as well. I studied his pale features, his stubbled beard, his ageing face. He couldn't have been any older than his early twenties, but the cigarettes he took daily seemed to have added another ten or twenty years to his features. He looked a mess, but of course that couldn't be much worse than I did, especially after the lack of sleep I'd had the night before. Besides, it didn't seem to make any impact to the way he treated me. “Well?” he asked expectantly. “Didn't ya miss me?”
I wasn't going to stand for this. I just wanted to be on my own. Why couldn't anyone get that? I looked down at the wrist he had grasped tightly and yanked it away from his grip.
“Leave me alone” I growled sternly, looking him right in the eye. I wasn't going to be treated like this. I was sick of it.
Jimmy raised his eyebrows, running his fingertips lightly over my jawline. His eyes were smiling, almost mockingly down at me, like he'd already won. But won what? “Nawwww” he hummed. “You left me, baby. You know I don't like being left”
“No, you left me” My eyes narrowed. “You shot me, remember?”
Jimmy's eyes flickered for a moment, like he was deciding what to say in response to that. Instead, he took his palm and grasped my jaw, roughly. I tensed.
“If you ever try anything like that with me again, I swear to God, I will tie you to your bed and set your house on fire”(xD)
He loosened his grip on my jaw, but his touch still burned my flesh. I looked away, too scared to meet his eye. I'd had that threat many a time, but now it was too late to threaten me with my home, since It was already gone.
“Oh wait...” Jimmy's lips parted as he let out an amused chuckle. “I already did.” He shook his head in amusement. I, on the other hand, had other ideas. I looked up at him, my eyes flashing in boiling hatred. It was him? Why hadn't I seen this coming?
“It was you?!” I hissed shakily, my voice squeaking slightly. My eyes widened as I took a step towards him, suddenly finding my fists clenching by my sides. It had been him who set fire to the house? And I practically had left him to do what he wanted. How could I have been so stupid?
Jimmy's smile broadened to a sickening grin. “Well, don't act so surprised!” He said., his voice jumping in amusement. I still didn't know why. “I warned you, Atkinson. I warned you and still you forced me to take action”
My eyes widened to round circles on my face. He was trying to make this out that it was my fault? My head shook; I couldn't believe this. I took another step towards him, hatred burning almost as viciously as the fire that had drowned my house in flames. In a flash, I sent a flat palm to fly over his cheek, causing his head to snap to one side. Wow, that felt good. I hadn't done that in a long time.
“You son of a-...”
Jimmy closed his eyes, and slowly, very slowly, rubbed his cheek. The sight rid me of everything I was about to say to him. All the cursing and swearing I had brewing in my mind... It all went. Was it the fact I didn't know what Jimmy would do next? The fact that I'd swiped the stupid grin off his face? Or was it because he'd suddenly gone so quiet? I had no idea. But I didn't like it. I didn't like not knowing what he was about to do to me. Jimmy's eyes were blazing as he reached for my arm, spinning me round to face my back to him, and twist my arm up my back. I gasped through my teeth, rolling my head up to the sky.
“Now that was very, very stupid” Jimmy whispered slowly in my ear, causing my eyes to water. He was right, that was rather foolish of me. But he'd set fire to my house! I still couldn't get over it. I swallowed shakily, clenching my jaw tightly to hold back the painful yelps that threatened to escape my lips. It would only cause me more pain for myself. I scrunched my eyes tightly closed, holding my breath. A squeezing pain in my heart caused a bead of salty liquid to once again roll down my tear-stained face, and it was then when I realised how lonely I felt. I needed Kougu. I missed him. I wanted to take back everything wrong I'd said to him back there. But what good was that now? I couldn't escape, I couldn't even move. I was stuck.

((Oh. My. Gosh. Epic suckiness. :'( I am so, so, so sorry, Dreameh! D: I don't know how it ended up so bad, but... Bleh! Ugh, I am so disappointed. *sigh* I hope you don't die from reading this. -_- Yuck.))

When Charlie met his gaze, Kougu was shocked and horrified to see the boiling anger in her face. He wondered vaguely if he ought to move away, but she beat him to it – roughly shrugging off his hand and asking in a dull tone “What d'you think?” Stung, Kougu staggered backwards in bewilderment, his hand falling back to his side, where it curled into a fist, then opened again and repeated the process a few times. It was a wonder he still had a hand… He felt as though he’d just touched an open flame. He dropped his gaze to the floor, gulping nervously and gnawing on his lip. The cold words ran through his head again and again. “What d'you think?” What did he think…? Well, of course he knew she would not be okay after seeing this – but what else could he say? Nothing he said could change the facts. He was doing his best, he honestly was, but as always… It was not good enough.
Kougu glanced down at his empty palm again, still imagining he could feel the heat of Charlie’s hatred under his skin. What it had cost him to make that simple gesture… And then to be cast aside like that. Rejected. Denied. It was like being a kid all over again… No, that was not true. It was not back to the way things had been before – things had just never changed. He had not been good enough back then, and he was not good enough now. Always, always he had tried his heart out – yet he never succeeded. Now, again, he had done his best for Charlie… And he had just made it worse! He had been a fool, and a jerk! How insensitive did he have to be, for goodness sake?! He couldn’t blame Charlie for being upset. She was completely right… “What d'you think?” What had he been thinking… No, he obviously had not been thinking at all to ask such a pathetic, tactless question.
But his intentions had been good! That had to count for something, right…? Right? Right….?

“I lived there for sixteen years. In that house contained all my memories: watching my little brother be born and grow into a little toddler, my father, and mother... Back when she... Back when she had my father. My entire life evolved around that dump...” Charlie’s words flowed bitterly out – striking him like poisoned arrows. He could hear her pain… He could hear it in her voice, and it hurt. Oh, how it hurt… Kougu flinched away from Charlie’s bitter expression, staggering another step backwards as though struck by a physical blow. No… No! This couldn’t happen to Charlie – it couldn’t! He would not let it happen- But it was too late. It was always too late… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… But no matter how much he said the words in his head, he knew that it would be of no help to say them out loud. He would only make things worse, just like he always did… Charlie’s father… Her little brother… It did not take a genius to read between the lines there. They were gone, just like his own family, and that house was all she had left of them. It was like losing them all over again… ”Are you okay?” Kougu’s own words ran mockingly through his mind, teasing and taunting him, and he almost scoffed. What a fool he had been… Of all the stupid, thoughtless, heartless things to ask… Of course she’s not okay, you idiot! Are you happy now? Are your questions answered? Are you done messing everything up for once?! Kougu closed his eyes tightly and looked away – too ashamed even to face his own scolding. I’m sorry… I’m sorry!
But it made no difference. He could apologise until he was blue in the face, and still nothing would have changed.

“And in just a matter of hours I watch it reduce itself to ashes. Yet I can do nothing about it but watch as my entire life burns up in flames... My entire life...” Kougu winced at her words – feeling a painful stabbing of a potent mixture of empathy and sympathy. He could relate to those words… In some ways. Yet it only made him realise all the more that there was nothing he could do for her. He was useless, and she was on her own – just like he had been that time. The suffering he had gone through at that time… He could scarcely imagine it now, even though it had been his own pain. Yet he knew, completely and sincerely, from the bottom of his heart… That if he could, he would trade places with Charlie right there and then just to save her the suffering. It would be easier on him, too… It was killing him, seeing her going through such a nightmare and not being able to help… Only making things worse… It was killing him!
The sight of her tears stunned him, and he found himself wishing that he could cry with her, but his eyes remained stubbornly dry – his expression perfectly blank. For once, he hated his apparent lack of emotion. All that training… For this? To stand around like a cube of ice while his precious friend fell apart at the seams? Charlie began walking away, and Kougu felt his fingers stretch out after her – his mute lips parting slightly in despair at the thought of losing her… Again. But then she turned back, and Kougu’s hand fell back to his side.
“And your asking me if I'm okay? Kougu, how can I ever be okay?” She began backing away again now, and Kougu felt certain that each step she took away from him with that look on her face was shredding up what tiny part of his soul that he had left.
“Forget it. Just, forget it. You don't understand. No one understands...”
That did it. Those words had hit home. Kougu’s shoulders slumped and he fell into the sort of daze he often resorted to when reality was simply too terrible for him to face, and he refused to accept it. He did not see her begin to sprint away from him, but he heard her words clearly… He heard them again, and again, and again. Each bitter, venomous syllable seemed to stab another dagger into his heart, and Kougu found himself wondering vaguely what he had done to deserve all this… But then he remembered: Everything. Besides, it was not him suffering… It was Charlie who was having to suffer. He was just the one getting in the way, invading her suffering, worsening it.
Slowly, with blank-staring eyes, Kougu turned around, facing in the opposite direction to the way Charlie had gone. He could hear the last few remaining people scuttling and chattering around him, yet he felt as though he was in a completely different universe to them. He didn’t understand. That was what she had told him. After everything they had been through, she honestly believed that he did not understand at all. Didn’t she understand?! He understood all too well! That was exactly why he hadn’t know what to say! What the hell could a person say to make such pain disappear? He was no Superman. He couldn’t do the impossible… Well, maybe she was right after all. Maybe he didn’t understand. He didn’t understand where he stood now… What exactly did she want from him? He gave his all into trying to comfort her, pushed himself beyond his limits, and she pushed him away. He tried to be understanding, and she declared him the opposite, and fled from him. Was this it, then? Was it over? Was this his dismissal…? And if it was, then did their contract still stand? If he was no longer bound to Charlie, was he still bound to life? Because if he was not, he felt this would be rather a good time to prepare himself to take the first step on the journey to the end of his life.

No, wait. What was he thinking? He was being pathetic and dramatic – not to mention over thinking. He was obviously supposed to have been born a girl. Seriously, did he have to be so… So sensitive all the time? Okay, so he was hurt and stung. Lies. Oh, yes, all right! So he was kinda crushed, but honestly – was that really cause to get so emotional and upset? It wasn’t like the world was ending. Hadn’t he learned by now that life goes on…? No matter what, the clock keeps ticking. Then this would blow over eventually… Charlie wouldn’t really turn against him for a simple lack of tact. It was unfair of him to assume that… She was his friend – he ought to have more faith in her… But perhaps he just still found it difficult to believe that somebody could actually care about him enough to forgive him again and again… No matter how many times he messed up.
Finally, Kougu came to a standstill. Charlie was his friend. He was not just going to abandon her, even if she wanted him to. Sometimes one had to go against a person’s wishes to do what was best for them.
Clenching his fists in determination, Kougu turned on his heel and strode off in the direction Charlie had just gone. He would not be broken that easily. He could do better! Kougu nodded firmly to himself, then followed along the path he guessed and hoped that Charlie had taken.
It was some time later when he finally found her… And what he saw stopped him in his tracks. Jimmy again! Jimmy…
Kougu felt an unexpected flare of hatred, so powerful that it frightened him. He pressed his back against the wall where he stood, breathing quietly so as to avoid detection. What had that been…? He did not hate Jimmy… He could not hate anybody – not like that. It was not in his nature… That sort of hatred was reserved for himself and his father only – because both of them deserved it. But Jimmy? Sure, so he had hurt Charlie – but was his own protectiveness any excuse to write Jimmy off into the same boat as scum like himself and that man…? That wasn’t fair. He knew it wasn’t fair… Yet he hatred remained.
Oh, to hell with it! He loathed Jimmy with a passion, and he could damn well punish himself for that once the filthy scum was lapping up his own blood off the floor in a pathetic attempt to cling to the life that Kougu planned to wave tantalisingly in front of his dying eyes.
With these uncharacteristically cruel thoughts in mind, Kougu stepped around the corner and walked toward the pair – his footsteps echoing loudly in the silence as he abandoned all attempts at silent movement. “Let her go, Jimmy.” Kougu snarled venomously, “Because I promise you now that if you do anything, anything to hurt her – you will die by my hand, right here, right now, and by the cruellest means possible.” He spoke in a cold, unfeeling tone – reminding himself vaguely of somebody else, yet too caught up in the moment to think who.
He was hurt, he was upset, he was distraught, he was angry, he was confused and he was drowning in hatred.
No more mister nice guy. ((I had to steal it… Haha!))
He was not himself, and he did not care for a single moment. The powerful emotions and protective instincts completely overruled both his logic and his conscience, turning him into as much of a monster as he had ever been when he had lost control. He knew that when all this was over he would hate himself for it, but at that moment he just did not care.
“Come on, Jimmy.” Kougu said suddenly, a mocking smile curving his lips. “You can’t hide behind her forever. Hey, who knows… If you run for it now you might even get out alive, though I must admit I was so looking forward to watching you squirm.”
A demented grin split his face, and it was at that moment that Kougu felt a warning flicker of alarm. He was enjoying this!
That was who he had reminded himself of, before…
He was becoming just like that man.
Just like his father.

… He wanted to die. He wanted it desperately. This situation had damn well better sort itself out soon, because right at that moment he wanted nothing more than to crawl off to some dark corner somewhere and sob his heart right out of his chest. He had just failed… In everything. He had fallen further than he could ever have believed possible, and he disgusted himself so much that Kougu feared he would be sick.
After all those noble intentions, all that hatred…
He was just a hypocrite.
He was just his father’s precious tool.
Such a good tool…

Pain throbbed all the way through my arm and up my back as Jimmy slowly and painfully twisted my arm further up my spine. My eyes scrunched in agony as my lips parted to mime a silent scream, unable to verbally display (xD) how much pain the burning sensation afflicted upon my entire body. My head rolled back on my shoulders, resting on the tip of my spine, as it was not able to sit back any further. I couldn't move, my voice had failed me, and I was left to face what could only be a painful end to my miserable life. Funny, as it had only been yesterday I had been in a similar position with both Kougu and Jimmy. One moment I had been lying on the street with a bullet wound to my shoulder, then the next... Well, the next I was covered in wounds. Most at Kougu's hand. Kougu... The hurt in his face when I'd told him he didn't understand... What had I been thinking? How could I have been so selfish? I'd been bubbling in self pity I'd been too bothered about my own life I hadn't once thought about Kougu. What had I expected him to say? Nothing anyone could have told me at that point would have made a ruddy difference to my feelings, or my attitude. He'd only been trying to help... Yet what good had I don't to his feelings? I'd just made everything between us worse speaking to him like that. After everything he'd done for me... He'd nearly killed himself for what he'd tried to do to me the night before. The least I could have done was be thankful that he had given me a speck of sympathy for what had happened to my house, which had been more than anyone else had done, especially that businessman. Who the hell was he, anyway? The way he talked... it was as if he'd had a script in his head and didn't give a damn what I thought, or what I could have said to him. And the fact he'd asked me if the house burning down was mine as if it didn't matter to me... No. No! The businessman didn't matter at this moment in time. What mattered to me now was Kougu, and all I wanted to say to him. I'm sorry... I'm sorry for being selfish... I'm sorry for pushing you away when you were trying to help... I'm sorry Kougu, so sorry... But what good was any of that, now? He'd probably shoved his hands in his pockets and strolled right back to his house, leaving me to be slaughtered slowly and painfully at the hand of Jimmy Mackintosh. Just like your dream... It was true, but surely Kougu wasn't as bad as what I'd imagined in my sleep... He did care about me, I could tell. And I cared about him. But he hadn't followed me so, of course, he must have gone home. Great, so I was a goner. No question about it.
“Let her go Jimmy” Oh great, so I was hearing his voice now? Was this normal? It seemed to be happening a lot to me in these situations. Like when I was shot, for instance. But wait a minute, when I was shot it had been Kougu's voice, Kougu's real voice that was being spoken. Not the one in my head. So that could only mean... My eyes shot open, blinking a few times to let the blurriness clear from my vision. Sure enough, Kougu was stood just a few feet away from us, and was still walking. Oh god... No, No! Kougu, go away! Before you do something you'll regret- Kougu, You moron! Turn around, walk away. No...wrong way! Walk away from me! Please... You won't be able to fight him... Tears pricked suddenly at my eyes at the sight of him, all confident with his muscles tensed. It was like watching two pit bulls at the prelude of a dog fight. The iciness in Kougu's tone brought a chill to my spine; it was like I didn't know him. Where had all this come from? “Because I promise you now that if you do anything, anything to hurt her – you will die by my hand, right here, right now, and by the cruellest means possible” With that I felt the grip on my arm slacken as Jimmy unhurriedly released my arm, trailing his filthy hand down to my wrist, holding me just tight enough to stop me from escaping. I stood completely still, petrified of what he was planning.
“Come on Jimmy. You can’t hide behind her forever. Hey, who knows… If you run for it now you might even get out alive, though I must admit I was so looking forward to watching you squirm” My head snapped anxiously to study Kougu, my eyes wide. Did he mean that? Oh god, not another scrap over me. Not again... He couldn't kill Jimmy; he couldn't! He didn't have any means of defending himself of Jimmy showed proof of having any weapons – which was likely, knowing him. Kougu was good at improvising; I'd learnt that the hard way. He could certainly have harmful intentions with his bare hands, perhaps even death. But he had no chance against a man with a gun, even if the gun-holder was a moron with about as much aim as a drunken one-legged sailor on a one-man canoe trying to shoot a pigeon from a mile away (don't ask xD). Hands could never win against bullets; Kougu had no chance. Threatening Jimmy like this was just asking to be killed.
“Hurt her?” Jimmy's voice was dangerously calm for what had been shot at him, and I span back round to him, trembling slightly at his touch. It was difficult to tell what was going through his mind, but it didn't take a genius to know whatever it was wasn't good. His eyes narrowed slightly, and he trailed his hand behind him to his back pocket, keeping his icy blue eyes locked on Kougu, his whole body locked into place. All he was moving was his hand, making it even more obvious he was hiding something in there which neither of us were going to like. “What,” he began, pulling out a small black gun handle and waving it pointedly in front of him. “you mean like this?” In a flash he struck the sharp thick handle into my head, sending me completely off balance and causing me to fall to my knees, clutching the now-bleeding spot tightly with my fingers. Hunched over, I scrunched my eyes closed in throbbing agony, feeling the warm liquid dribble over my scalp and down every strand of hair surrounding the bloody mark. Dizziness and nausea caused me to fall clumsily onto my side, watching already as Kougu's dark jean bottoms began to double... triple in numbers. I closed my eyes, feeling my stomach churn nastily inside me. I didn't like this, I'd much rather have been booted several times in the gut. I couldn't think, I couldn't even see. I couldn't...

With a final cry in pain, I curled up on the cold, grey flooring and watched as everything faded to black.


Jimmy Mackintosh then flickered his glacial irises over the girl, his jaw clenched as a slight stab of guilt washed over him. He hadn't meant to hit her so hard, only hard enough to get her to her knees. He hadn't realised a simple strike of a gun handle had been so effective. Hey! He'd have to remember that for future use, in case he ran out of bullets. Perhaps he'd be fortunate enough to use that tactic on Charlie's little mop-haired friend over there later on. Oh, how he'd love to draw blood from those messy locks of his... Jimmy clenched the handle of the gun tightly in his grasp, almost as if he wished to crush the damn thing in two. He looked down at the sleek black grip of his weapon, frowning in annoyance. Dark splashes of crimson were scattered over the edge from where the point had made contact with her head. Oops, he thought to himself irritably. He'd not had that gun long and already he was getting filthy marks all over it? He ran his fingertips over the curved edge, wiping the fluid which gave him the bitter-sweet memory of her hurtful gaze onto his dirt-ridden hands. He resisted the temptation to wipe it on his jacket, as he was aware that if Charlie did so happen to die – not that he was ready to hang around if such events did occur – it would be by his hand, and the evidence would be smothered all over his newly pinched leather jacket, and he didn't have the cleaning skills to get rid of the stains. No, he would have to keep the blood on his hands for now, until he finished what was to be done there. Securing his grip back on the gun handle, he looked back up at his opponent, his eyes blazing with his new, belligerently aggressive state of mind. He was ready: ready to kill.
Jimmy kept the gun tucked snugly by his side, but he was sure to make it clear that it was pointing at Kougu. The idiot didn't have a single weapon on hand. The fool... He was done for. Jimmy smiled smugly to himself, unable to stop a tiny chuckle from escaping his stubbled lips. He couldn't believe his luck, he was killing two birds with one stone here! In killing Kougu, Charlie would wake up to realise she is alone, and she would have nowhere left to go. Genius! How could he not have thought of this earlier? Still... He was man. Even he would not take his opponent's life without saying a few words first. He was quite looking forward to finding out what this boy's final words would be, as they were usually the most interesting. A person's last words told him so much more about them than their stupid remarks. Yet the only words he had got out of this idiot so far was either a load of English crap he couldn't understand or death threats. Death threats... Ha! How could Kougu think he was the one to be making threats? He was unarmed, and against a man with a gun. Couldn't he see? His days were already numbered, if he was even lucky to live that long. Time to start counting down... he thought silently with an amused grin, looking up at Kougu, his eyes gleaming. He wasn't winning, oh no. He'd already won. “You don't scare me, Kougu” he said finally, forcing his voice down to an even tone. Once again he found himself chuckling, and began to shake his head in amusement. “How can you stand there and tell me you'll be watching me squirm , when all the evidence points to me being the only one walking away from this alive? Wow... and I thought you were the clever one!”

Jimmy looked away, clearly tickled by his own words. It was obvious he was the one to walk away from this unharmed. If Kougu got a a step too close to him, winning was as simple as the flick of a trigger, quite literally. He wouldn't hesitate, he'd go for it. Then it would be lights out for the one person who tried to question his authority, who made him look like a fool in front of the entire gang. No one mocked Jimmy Mackintosh and got away with it. He had a rep to keep up, and he wasn't going to give it up for this jackass. Letting his gaze slip slightly he looked down at Charlie, and he felt his smile vanish from his face. Her expression had relaxed completely because she was sleeping, it was like she had no idea she was bleeding. She looked so peaceful, lying there, blood running over the lining of her forehead. Her eyelids were sat gently over her rich emerald eyes, and her pale lips were set in a perfectly straight line under her button nose. He could remember kissing those lips, the softness caressing his tongue, running his fingers through her long, copper brown hair. He had enjoyed every second being alone with her on that street corner, when the gang had gone to finish some business with a certain someone about some iPods. He could remember resting his hands on her hips, pulling her towards him and telling her how much he loved her, how she didn't need to worry about anything anymore. She had looked so beautiful in the rays of the flickering street lights beaming down on her glistening, forest-green eyes. But what he did next seemed to change her entire opinion of him altogether.
He hit her.
He couldn't help it. Even thought the gang weren't around he still felt he had to show her he wasn't weak, that she couldn't get used to him showing such affection, that he was still in charge. He started off firmly, but for some reason he couldn't stop. He continued to beat her, again and again, watching the love in her eyes fade to hurt, then blood-curdling fear. He'd got her right in his grasp.
Once he'd got himself together, he had pulled her closer, and had continued to kiss her. But it wasn't the same. How could it be? The look in her eyes, the fear... And yet he could never seem to make himself feel guilty for hurting her that night. He was just doing what needed to be done. She needed reminding that he was in charge, and that he would not continue to show her such love once the gang had returned. Yes, the day he showed her his love, was the day she became his property, and the day the fear had begun.

“Have you ever been in love, Kougu?” He said suddenly, almost surprised at himself for speaking such an off-subject question to a practical stranger. He kept his eyes locked on Charlie, as if gazing aimlessly into a beautiful sunset. (*pukes*). His tone lacked almost completely of emotion, yet his eyes held most of the feeling he had boiling inside of him. His icy blue eyes flickered up and down Kougu's scruffy looks, and he suddenly found himself shaking his head. Why had he said that? Of course Kougu had never been in love. He didn't have the looks, he didn't have the personality... “Nah” he said, smiling bitterly. “You're too soft” He then rose his chin, letting his lips curve into his all-too-famous grin, almost choking on the smugness that he let escape in his words. It was true, of course. Love wasn't for the light hearted. Still, he'd already started on the subject. Might as well finish it. “Have you ever looked into another's eyes and thought: 'they need protecting'?” Jimmy's lips parted as he let out a silent chuckle. He didn't even know why he was bothering. How would Kougu know any of what he was talking about? “When you invite them into your life, you promise yourself you will do everything in your power to make them safe... You promise yourself you will never lay a harmful finger on them, unless absolutely necessary.” Of course, even Charlie needed correcting every now and then, in fact, she had been quite a lot recently. Yet he couldn't quite fathom why. “You swear you will never hit them, never do anything to hurt them. Then everything goes black...” he looked down at his blood-ridden palms, showing them to Kougu pointedly. “...then you wake up, and you have their blood all over your hands.” He slipped the gun back into his grip, being careful not to let it slip from it's target. He couldn't let his guard down, not when he was saying such personal info to his opponent. He inhaled deeply, letting out a long sigh. Where the hell was this going? He didn't even know... Oh great. Just great. He'd shown weakness to his opposition. Why? What had he been thinking? He'd lost it, now. He had to get himself back on track. Perhaps if he twisted his own words...? “But I have to admit, watching her squirm has to be one of my favourite bits. The fear in her eyes, the terror... Oh, you should see it, Kougu. You should see the noise she makes. Oh... It makes you feel like a God...” Ha, bullseye! His eyes shone victoriously over at Kougu, showing not even a speck of fear for Kougu's supposed threats. Take that! And he hadn't even laid a finger on the guy, yet. Ah, he thought to himself with a grin. the power of the words... Now all he needed to do was wait for the idiot's reply. Then he would certainly have something to laugh at.

((Sorry about the PowerPlay... O.o I tried to leave space for you to block, but I'm not very good at it...
Just twist it however you like. ))

Jimmy’s words were cold, and though his tone showed no emotion, Kougu could sense that he was enjoying every minute. He recognized it all too well… He remembered it all too well. Why did the past have to follow him around? Repeat itself over and over and over and over and over… Over… Over… Over… It would never be over! A sudden savagery flared up in Kougu’s mind, and for a moment his vision flickered – but he felt no panic. It was as though he honestly did not care if he lost control – even though he knew that, should that come to pass, they would all die. Charlie, Jimmy, and countless other nameless, faceless people unlucky enough to get in his way before he had got a grip on himself… If he ever did. His will was so weak at that moment that he feared he might just let himself go and become a fully fledged monster.
No, he would sooner die than do that.
Would he? Was it even worth the effort…? Why should he care? The world was against him. What difference did it make if he wreaked havoc upon the world and everybody in it, or if he lay festering in a muddy pit with bugs eating his corpse? It made no difference to him – people were scum. They had ruined everything, and they deserved to face his wrath.
Wait… Wait, what?!
Kougu shook his head rapidly – desperately trying to dispel the terrible dark thoughts that were clouding his mind. He was practically quoting his father’s words! Would he stoop that low? Was he that weak that he’d let a few little words push him over the edge like that, then lose sight of everything when he hit the bottom and become the very thing he lived to destroy?
A potent desire to clutch his head in his hands and scream his lungs out flooded over Kougu, but he hid it nearly flawlessly – showing no evidence save for the occasional twitch of his facial muscles. It was just like that time at Charlie’s house, when he had been writhing inwardly in his mind-boggling pain, yet outwardly remaining the very picture of cool composure. If he had done it then, he could keep it up now. Physical pain, emotional pain… It was all the same. Both were in his head. If he denied their existence, he could escape.

Kougu turned his attention back to the scene before him then, and was shocked to find that he had been so lost in thought that he had not even seen what was happening. Time and tide wait for no man… It was true, then. Time certainly had not waited for him, because last time he had checked, Jimmy had not had a gun (Not that such futile details mattered to him in any case) and Charlie had been standing beside him.
Now, Jimmy was holding a gun dripping with some thick crimson liquid, and Charlie was- Charlie? Charlie?! Kougu’s eyes darted to the ground to fix on her crumpled form – blood issuing thickly from the wound in her head. Calm down… She would be fine. He was familiar with head wounds… All too familiar… And he knew from experience that they bled a lot, even shallow ones. She would be fine, perfectly fine. There was no cause for him to worry… Calm down. She was not dead. She could not die. Calm down. Life was not that cruel, not even to him – nor to her. It was not possible. She couldn’t die. She wouldn’t die. Calm down. He had to keep his head, he had to focus. Jimmy was there, and he had a gun. Kougu would have to deal with him quickly so that he could help Charlie… Not that Charlie needed his help. She was fine, after all. Calm down. But what if she wasn’t? All that blood… There was so much! Who cared about logic? Who cared about medical knowledge? That was blood! Blood! And it was Charlie’s blood, and there was a lot of it… Calm down! Her blood. Her blood! Nobody could spill that! Jimmy- Calm down, calm down, calm down! Jimmy… She was dead. All that blood- She was never coming back. She was gone – just like the rest, and it was his fault. Calm down, calm down, calm down, CALM DOWN! No… No… Jimmy was holding the gun. Jimmy had done it. He had killed her, he had ruined everything, and he would suffer! CA- Shut up. Kougu closed his eyes for a moment, dropping his head and simply letting everything wash over him. Shut up. I’m calm. I’ve got this.
And thus he remained still. Still and silent, as Jimmy’s words began washing over him – Kougu refusing to let any one of them penetrate his mind. Or so he thought. Unfortunately, Jimmy’s words jumped to the forefront of his mind like ice to the surface of water.
“Have you ever been in love, Kougu?”
‘What do you think, idiot?’ Kougu emitted a derisive snort, raising his head and fixing his cold eyes on Jimmy – resigning himself to listening and remaining completely calm. He had forcefully forgotten about Charlie now – calming himself with a power of denial intense enough to make a man go insane – which he nearly had done countless times.
Kougu gave no words to his question, but Jimmy kindly answered it for him all the same. What a sport…
“Nah, You're too soft.”
‘You said it, mate.’ He had always been too soft-hearted. He loved everybody, he hated everybody yet none of it mattered, because he would never act upon such fleeting emotions that he did not understand. When it all came down to it, the one negated the other – bringing him to believe that the people of the earth were nothing more than a presence, one that did not matter to him, yet one which he sought desperately to protect, if just for redemption.
“Have you ever looked into another's eyes and thought: 'they need protecting'?”
‘Idiot. What do you-‘ Wait… Wait a minute… That was true. He did that all the time – especially recently. Kougu’s eyes flickered to Charlie, but then he looked quickly away, scrunching up his eyes. Calm down, calm down, calm down, calm down, calm down… He managed to keep a grip on himself, but the image of her crumpled form… Of the peaceful expression… The unbearable blood- It was imprinted on his retinas, and it blinded him to all else. He longed to look again, yet the very thought repulsed him. He did not look. He stood his ground. He hid behind his mask…
“When you invite them into your life, you promise yourself you will do everything in your power to make them safe... You promise yourself you will never lay a harmful finger on them, unless absolutely necessary.”
‘N- Yes… Again, yes…’ What was Jimmy playing at?! Kougu’s eyes widened slightly in shock, and he instantly cursed himself and righted his expression. He was letting Jimmy get inside his head! In love…? The very thought was a mockery. There was no such thing – certainly not for him. Jimmy was just trying to get inside his head… Playing a clever mental game… But how did he know?! How could he have found a weak point Kougu hadn’t even known about himself?!
“You swear you will never hit them, never do anything to hurt them. Then everything goes black... Then you wake up, and you have their blood all over your hands.”
‘Shut up… Shut up… You don’t know- You could never understand- I didn’t mean to… I couldn’t help it! I-‘ Kougu cut his thoughts off, dropping his gaze to his pale fists, which had begun to shake now. The blood… He remembered it. But Jimmy?! How could Jimmy possibly have known? Where was he getting his information? Who were his sources-
Wait.
Wait…
Kougu raised his eyes slightly, and noticed that Jimmy was showing off his own bloodstained hands.
That was when comprehension dawned – bright and clear as a Summer’s day. This wasn’t about him! This was about Jimmy! It was nothing but a lucky strike. Sure, it had hit home, but its effectiveness had dwindled now. Kougu had known all along he wasn’t in love with Charlie – the very idea was preposterous. Jimmy had simply made him doubt his own logic… Jimmy was in love with Charlie. Though that fact was of little importance to him… He understood now, and that was all that mattered.
Kougu’s lips twitched into a shadow of a smile, as he altered his mental defences to fend off Jimmy’s unintentionally effective attacks. Of course, Jimmy was trying to hurt him… But he couldn’t possibly understand just how many buttons he had pressed, and Kougu was not about to let him know.
“But I have to admit, watching her squirm has to be one of my favourite bits. The fear in her eyes, the terror... Oh, you should see it, Kougu. You should see the noise she makes. Oh... It makes you feel like a God...”
Kougu felt a flash of fury at these words, but it was soon washed away by the massive waves of euphoria still crashing down on him from his discovery. So Jimmy had hurt Charlie in the past – did it matter? The past couldn’t be undone, and Kougu knew that better than anybody. Jimmy’s words didn’t matter… Nothing mattered… Nothing at all!
Kougu felt his gentle, composed expression suddenly shatter into a maddened grin. “What you say is true.” He informed Jimmy jubilantly before bursting into joyful laughter. He had just realised something.
It was true.
Jimmy was exactly like him.
And with that realisation, Kougu had won the fight. No longer would he worry himself with the guilt of destroying this flawed being. He had no problem whatsoever with the idea of obliterating his own existence for the sake of the people he cared for, and Jimmy was him. Therefore… Jimmy needn’t live.
Jimmy could die.
Jimmy had to die.
Kougu’s grin widened and another bark of laughter escaped his lips. “Yes, Jimmy…” He went on, his laughter melting away to allow him to fix his dark grin on Jimmy’s face. “Yes… The way they squirm… The sounds they make… The scent of their fear… And the feeling of life exploding into death beneath your bare skin!” Kougu snapped his long fingers to demonstrate, then burst out laughing again, starting to walk toward Jimmy now. He was sane. He was in control. But he wanted blood – Jimmy’s blood – His blood – His father’s blood… And he wanted it now! This was his ultimate goal – what he had been waiting for his whole life! He would crush this man off the face of the earth.
Kougu paused again, aware of the gun in Jimmy’s hand and wanting to drag on his death for as long as possible. He had wanted to die for so long… He would not miss a moment of it! Not a moment! His grin widened excitedly, and Kougu began speaking again. “How does it feel, Jimmy?” He asked jubilantly, “How does it feel to prepare for death without your love by your side, huh? To whom will you entrust your heart when you are no longer here?” Kougu cast his glance to Charlie for a moment, and the enjoyment faded from his face – leaving his expression completely blank – for he was unwilling to show the deep concern and tenderness he felt at that moment. Charlie… I’m coming, Charlie. Everything’s going to be all right… Wait for me. He turned to look back at Jimmy, his expression suddenly icy. “You’ll never see her again.” He whispered in a dangerously calm, soft voice. “You can never apologise. Never win her over. Never repent for the sins you’ve committed against her. You will die with your pathetic ‘love’ in the hands of one who hates you.” A sickly smile returned to Kougu’s lips now, and his voice resumed its usual volume. “If only you’d been a little ‘softer’, Jimmy. Hell could have done without more worthless small fry.”
Kougu was done speaking now, for a desperate urgency sounded in the pulse beating loudly on his brain. Charlie needed him. Jimmy didn’t matter… Jimmy just had to vanish – because he was just like Kougu. Because Kougu was just like his father. Because that man had no right to walk the earth!

Content with his logic, and blinded to the obvious flaws in it, Kougu prepared himself for his first intention murder – his feathers distinctly unruffled by the prospect. He had been waiting his whole life for this moment.

Kougu tensed – DejaVu flashing through him as he waited for the opportune moment… Just like before. Suddenly, Kougu’s legs sprung forward as though springs had uncoiled under his feet, as he moved with incomprehensible speed toward Jimmy. He didn’t care what happened to him. He was blind to everything but his goal… If Jimmy fired a bullet, Kougu did not notice. If it struck him, he did not notice that, either. He was oblivious to everything – oblivious to pain, to reality, to conscience… He knew nothing but the present, and what he had to do. If he died doing it, well… Who the hell cared? It would simply be two birds with one stone to him!
Elated by his thoughts, Kougu darted toward Jimmy with quick, skilful steps. He moved like a ninja – perhaps even faster – showing the full extent of the gruelling training he had received. Gun or no gun – no man could equal a best like him! Not after the skills his father had honed into him! He was a machine – a killing machine… His precious tool… And this time he would use that to his advantage!
Kougu feinted as though preparing to grab Jimmy’s throat, then spun on his heel at the last minute to get behind the filthy man.
Satisfaction dragging a smile to his lips, Kougu seized Jimmy from behind in a firm grip, pinching his neck muscle so tightly that he highly doubted Jimmy would be able to move – not that he cared, either way…
Then Kougu jerked his arm back, his hand folding so just his middle and pointer fingers were sticking out. They stiffened like metal rods, and Kougu jabbed them with incredible speed and force toward the base of Jimmy’s neck.

Everything froze. Time stood still as Kougu’s training flowed back through his mind – allowing his brain to rapidly check the crisp pages of the textbooks he knew so well to ensure a flawless technique. His muscles had a memory of their own – remembering their training and initiating it almost without guidance from his mind at all.
He remembered the book… An old black leather cover, with a red dragon symbol on the front… He remembered the page: 16. And the technique… The technique was called ‘Keichu’ – directly translated to ‘concentration’.
Twist fingers…
Aim for directly between the third and fourth vertebra…
If he got it right, this Keichu would kill Jimmy. Yes… Kill him… He remembered the exact words:
“In the case of a extreme strike, there is no cure, slow death is eminent.”
That was what Jimmy deserved. A slow, painful death… To have his brain jarred, and the nerves throughout his body shocked into death’s submission by the blow to the spine.

Kougu watched his own attack as though in slow motion, his fingers gradually nearing the little dip between the third and fourth vertebrae, getting rapidly closer to ending Jimmy’s life.
As the blow was about to strike, Kougu’s conscience finally got through to him.
This was wrong.
This was murder.
He was NOT his father!
In the final instant, Kougu checked himself. With a Herculean effort, he managed to alter his attack – slowing the speed of his strike so that he would reach only a precisely calculated 0,5” depth – enough to knock Jimmy out… But not enough to kill him. Because nobody deserved to die.
Hadn’t he always believed that…? Where had he lost sight of it?!
Time slowed down as Kougu felt the heat of Jimmy’s skin on his fingertips, knowing that the split second attack which had seemed to take an eternity in his mind was now done.
All that was left was for him, in his new-found sanity and concentration, to see what damage had been done.
Had Jimmy managed to shoot him on his approach? Was he about to drop down dead without even realising it?
Would his perfectly executed Keichu work as he hoped, or had he lost his touch? Would Jimmy die? Fall unconscious? Lose the ability to speak? Or would he walk away unscathed, with just a little bruise – allowing him to turn the gun on him and- No… Worse… Allowing him to turn the gun on Charlie!
Charlie!
Charlie…

(Ugh. Epic. Fail -__- Sorry it's not very inspirational, make out of it what you wish. Bleh... Anywho, sorry it took so long. It's been manic here the past few days I'm going on holiday until Monday, but if I manage to get a reply from you before I go, which won't be until around tea time, then I'll write a reply on paper whilst I'm away and have it ready for you for when I get back

Oh yeah, and I won't ask where you got the Keichu idea from xD)

Jimmy didn't know what it was that startled him the most: Kougu's words, the way he said it or the look he gave as he said it. “What you say is true” How did he know? How could he have any idea what it was like to cause someone such pain and to actually enjoy it? He shook his head. Kougu was playing with him. Surely he was playing with him. He felt he had to lie in order to stop himself from showing weakness; something he so obviously had, even if he hadn't shown it quite yet. But he would. As soon as Jimmy got his hands around that skinny neck of his, he would see who was in charge. He would see who was the alpha.
But those eyes... That smile... What was he grinning about? What could he possibly have to smile about? This had to be another one of his little 'ideas'. It was simply to scare him into either running or letting down his guard. No chance, smartass... Whatever he was doing, it wasn't working. It couldn't work. He wasn't going to lose his cool over this idiot, it wasn't worth it. All this guy was worth was a bullet to his head and to be left alone to rot and be attacked by hungry flies on the street corner... Jimmy raised his eyebrows slightly at his own destructive thinking. He'd never thought this badly usually, even over the worst of men he met. That's because no one's ever tried to take my girl from me before... It was true, no one had ever had the guts to try such an idiotic thing on him before, because they all had the brains to think better of it. But Kougu? He had some guts, and Jimmy couldn't help but feel just that slight spark of admiration towards him for it. This had been the first time anyone had dared to challenge him so, and he had finally found use of the bullets that had been gathering dust in the safe under the stairs in his run-down flat. The thought excited him.
But wait... He was going off track now. Why the hell was Kougu grinning at him, like he knew what it felt like? Jimmy gripped the gun handle so tightly his knuckles faded to a ghostly white. Watching the knowingness in Kougu's mysterious midnight-blue eyes was beginning to make him feel uneasy. Why hadn't his words got to Kougu? Swallowing in a speck of anxiety, Jimmy narrowed his eyes. Somehow this wasn't quite going as he'd planned.
“Yes… The way they squirm… The sounds they make… The scent of their fear… And the feeling of life exploding into death beneath your bare skin!” Jimmy flinched as the snapping sound from Kougu's fingers rang through his ear drums. Ah, so Kougu did know after all... Yes, he could relate to that feeling... Wait, what? What?! How was that possible? He couldn't... He thought Kougu didn't have it in him... Well, he should have thought about this before. Kougu knew how to threaten, he knew how to create fear, he'd seen it with his own eyes. Jimmy'd been threatened by Kougu before, why, only the day before. How could he have not thought this over? Idiot...Idiot! Kougu knew... So did that mea- Surely it couldn't mean Kougu was, too, a murderer?
The sound of footsteps brought Jimmy back to attention as he noticed, with a jolt, Kougu was walking... Walking towards him. He was laughing, really laughing. And it wasn't just any laugh, it was a low, menacing laugh, something that could only be heard in a horror movie. It was the kind that brought a chill to his spine. He'd never heard anything like it... No, NO! He couldn't show weakness, he couldn't. He was the alpha. He was the one in charge. He was the man with the gun. The gun... The gun! How could he forget he had it? How? Holding it out in front of him, he quickly pulled the trigger. But his hand was trembling, he noticed, yet he had no idea why. This caused the bullet to blast in the complete wrong direction, and fly right past Kougu's left side. You missed... How could you miss? He's right there, you idiot! Still trying to recover from his failure of a shooting, he heard Kougu's words echo through his mind. “How does it feel, Jimmy? ” This caused him to stop in his tracks. How did what feel? “How does it feel to prepare for death without your love by your side, huh? To whom will you entrust your heart when you are no longer here?” Jimmy's eyes narrowed even further at Kougu's words. How the hell did h- Oh yeah. He'd told him. Why? Why had he exposed his one precious secret to his most hated enemy? Why... Why, why, WHY? He could have kicked himself. Great. Fantastic. Now it was going to be used against him.
But he wouldn't let that happen. So what if he loved Charlie? His feelings for her were none of Kougu's business. He was in charge. He was going to win this. He was going to walk away from this alive, and he would do so with Charlie in his arms. Sure, she was mad at him for setting her house on fire, but she could come around. Eventually. Once she realised he was the best she was going to get, she would come running into his arms and he would no longer have to worry about anyone taking her away from him again. If it meant having her to himself, he would do it. If Kougu was the one holding him back, he would destroy him. He didn't care how he did it. As long as it was done, he'd be happy.
“You'll never see her again” Jimmy's eyebrows twitched upwards at Kougu's quiet words. Did he seriously believe that? How could he? He was going to be the one to die, not Jimmy. He didn't even have any way to defend himself against Jimmy's bullets. Yet he was telling him he was going to die? “ You can never apologise. Never win her over...” He opened his mouth to argue, then decided against it. Keeping his thoughts to himself would be the best for the both of them. He wasn't in the mood to have any more comments thrown back in his face. I won't need to win her over, he thought to himself. Because once your gone and out of our lives, she'll know she won't be getting anything better. She'll be mine in no time. “Never repent for the sins you’ve committed against her. You will die with your pathetic ‘love’ in the hands of one who hates you.”
Jimmy rolled his eyes irritably, looking away from Kougu's maddening grin. What sins? He'd only done to Charlie what was necessary. The house, for example. He'd warned her many a time what would happen if she continued to push him, to try his patience by playing 'hard-to-get'. It wasn't like his actions were uncalled for, was it? Pathetic love... The words haunted his mind like unwelcome spirits in a haunted mansion. Love wasn't pathetic, not always. His love wasn't pathetic. His love was far from pathetic. What was Kougu on about? Then it dawned on him. Kougu was simply making fun of him and taking advantage of his little outburst. Great, he thought to himself with a stab of frustration. That's told you, Sonny Jim. That's told you to speak your mind, whether your about to kill a person or not. Next time, learn to keep your big mouth shut. It was true, he'd have to learn to only speak when necessary, and to only speak in riddles. Or insults. Whichever suited the situation. He'd made that mistake once, he wasn't going to make it again.
“If only you’d been a little ‘softer’, Jimmy. Hell could have done without more worthless small fry” Jimmy's eyes widened at this, finding the grip on his gun tighten considerably, making him almost want to crush it to dust in his palm in boiling fury. He was losing, he was losing because he was showing so much weakness it was unbelievable. How obvious was it? How obvious had it shown? He felt his hand tense around the handle of the gun. Oh, how he couldn't wait to make this idiot eat his words. He was so ready to kill him, he couldn't wait a minute longer.

With a jolt Jimmy realised Kougu was sprinting forwards towards him, his eyes boiling a sickly black screaming at him only one thing. Kill him. Whatever Kougu was planning, gun or no gun, it was bad news for him. Jimmy knew by the look in his eyes that he would have to act fast, as if he didn't get a hold of himself and blast the guys brains out his chances of winning would become thinner and thinner the longer he left it. Hand shaking, he held the gun out in front of him, his finger placed firmly on the trigger. But the sped of Kougu's movements alarmed him, so when the blast finally went off, it flew past Kougu's side and pierced his hand. Blood splattered everywhere, all over the cobbled stones, but Kougu didn't seem to notice. He was still moving towards him, hands outstretched as if ready to grab Jimmy's throat, but he swerved round at the last minute. Before he could react, Jimmy felt his arm be jerked behind his back and the skin around his neck be pulled into Kougu's grip, disabling him of all movement. Frozen, Jimmy felt the apprehension flood over him like a deadly tidal wave. He couldn't move. He daren't move. There was a loud clatter as his weapon dropped to the floor, and he was left stranded in the middle of the street, the only sounds being his racing heart and Kougu's breathing burning through the back of his head. What was going on back there?
Jimmy swallowed, feeling uneasy. He didn't like this. He didn't like not knowing what was going on behind his back, it unsettled him. He especially hated not being able to turn round and find out. Jimmy scrunched his eyes closed, the pain shooting up and down his neck causing his whole spine to stiffen. What the hell was Kougu doing? A stabbing pain in the base of his neck caused him to wince, scrunching his whole face up in pain. His legs were turning to jelly beneath him. In fact, no, his entire body was beginning to go limp. Was that fear? No, come on. Surely that wasn't fear. Yes, he could admit he was scared. And (xD) he was perfectly aware that eh was showing it, now. But seriously? Was it something Kougu had done? Staring up to the sky on the horizon, Jimmy sucked in a breath. He had seconds... Minutes at the most. He could feel it. Whatever clever manoeuvre Kougu had done back there was causing his body to fail him, whether it was forever or just temporarily, he was going to black out. Jimmy felt himself begin to fall, and quickly squared his legs beneath him to keep himself upright. He gritted his teeth, feeling his breathing become heavier as his entire body began to shake. “Who are you?” He whispered, still finding he was unable to turn his head. He didn't know why he asked it... No, wait. He did. Out of all his years he'd never known anyone so skilled as to be able to knock someone unconscious in such an...imaginative way. Admittedly, Jimmy was no longer admired by Kougu tactics on bringing him down, but he had to know, in case they didn't meet for a long time after this. Of course, he knew they would, eventually. He would make sure Kougu paid for this. But next time he would know better than to try such things on his own. Speaking of which, where were the gang when he needed them? “Who could you possibly be?” This was more of a thought he'd spoken out loud than a question actually aimed at Kougu, as he knew such a question would probably be unanswerable. But Kougu's ability to win a fight with his bare hands, without actually punching someone, it was beyond him. He'd met many gangs, he'd taken part in many gang fights, but he'd never met anyone as... educated in self defence than Kougu. It...it just didn't make sense. I can't feel my legs... Jimmy thought with a stab of panic. He was still standing, he noticed. But he knew for certain he wouldn't be for much longer. “
“What have you done...?” He whispered breathlessly, his icy blue eyes flickering aimlessly from one side to the other. His vision was blurry now, and his lungs seemed to want more air than he could give them in a single breath. Whatever Kougu had done, it was working. Like always... Jimmy thought to himself bitterly. Of course, Kougu's tactics always worked. He never failed to win his battle against the one and only Jimmy Mackintosh. But not for long... he thought to himself, his brow furrowing in boiling hatred. Not for long, because I'll be back. I'll be back and I'll take back what's mine. I'll have the gang on my side, I'll find out where you live, and I'll claim my vengeance. You thought what I did to Charlie was bad... Oh no, you don't have a ruddy clue what bad is, my friend. Believe me, you'll find out from me what true vengeance is. You'll find out how much it hurts. I'll get you, Kougu. I'll make sure you're the one to burn in hell. And you know why? D'you want to know why? Because they'll be nothing on this earth that can stop me!

”Who are you?” It was a good question… A good one, but a difficult one. Perhaps even unanswerable… Kougu dropped his gaze to the floor, feeling his shoulders slump forward as the weight of guilt crashed upon them. Shame boiled in his blood – making him feel as though he was slowly burning up from the inside out – disintegrating in a furnace of his own ravenous self-hatred for the unforgivable sin he had just committed. Who was he…? No- A more accurate question would be this: ‘What was he?’ Even he could answer that one, though the list of words he might use seemed to have no end. He was a beast, a machine, a heartless fiend, a wretch, a filthy murderer… Each insult he jabbed at his fragile mind brought a stabbing pain of acceptance, and Kougu felt a savage pleasure with every word. The satisfaction it brought was such that Kougu went on a while longer, throwing every word he could think of at himself. Pathetic, scum, sinner, madman, killer, merciless bastard…
“You don’t want to know.” Kougu murmured softly in response to Jimmy’s question – his voice shaking slightly with the emotional instability he felt stemming from the shame of his actions. “Honestly… You would not want to know.” He shook his head slowly from side to side, unable to raise his midnight blue eyes from the ground. He felt a flicker of admiration run through him at the thought that Jimmy was still standing. The man’s will was like iron… Kougu finally managed to raise his gaze, and he watched the back of Jimmy’s head with a new-found respect. To still be standing… Still! It was inconceivable. Jimmy truly was a fighter… Kougu loosened his grip on the man’s (Note, he now thinks ‘man’, not ‘boy’ – felt I needed to point that out.) neck, releasing the muscle pinched between his fingers. Instead, he gripped Jimmy’s shoulder lightly – helping to hold him up for as long as he should feel the will to keep standing. He owed Jimmy that much… He had courage and willpower to spare – even now, when his life was completely in the hands of his enemy and he might, for all he knew, be dying. Such attributes of character truly deserved his respect, and deserved to be rewarded.

”What have you done…? Jimmy’s breathless whisper sliced through Kougu’s thoughts like a hot knife through butter and dragged him back to the present. He could hear from Jimmy’s voice that the man couldn’t cling to consciousness much longer, which was not unexpected. Actually, Kougu was surprised he had hung on this long… He had been wrong. Jimmy was not like him after all… Jimmy was so much greater. Jimmy had greatness in him that Kougu could never achieve – his only flaw was how he chose to use it. But perhaps it was not too late… Maybe, if somebody could show him… Maybe… Could there be a chance that he might be able to turn it all around? Well, either way, that was Jimmy’s choice to make – not his. All he could do now to atone for the sins he had committed against this great man was to answer the final couple of questions he had asked. Gently shifting his grip on Jimmy’s shoulder to support him better, Kougu began explaining in a soft tone. “It is a pressure point technique called ‘Keichu’. I was originally going to-“ Kougu broke off, shaking his head. He couldn’t say it… It was unthinkable. He had almost been going to kill Jimmy. He had almost done it… Almost willingly taken a human life! “You’re not going to die.” He went on suddenly, a soothing tone to his kind voice. “You don’t deserve to die… So when you awaken, Jimmy, save one of those bullets for me. “ A faint smile twitched the corners of Kougu’s lips at this thought, and he turned his head away – staring into the horizon at the sun slowly creeping up in the sky. Kougu did not squint. He stared directly at the sun, at the bright, burning ball of flame, until his pupils shrunk so tiny they nearly vanished completely. The pain to his retinas was intense, but Kougu relished it. Finally, he dropped his gaze back to the ground, thinking for a moment. He had promised Charlie that he would not try to kill himself again… He had promised her, and he had meant it – but his reasoning had not changed in the slightest. He still believed he deserved to die – now more than ever.
No… Even that was not true. He did not deserve a luxury such as death. He was unworthy… Completely unworthy of anything. The most mercy he ought to be granted was to have his existence denied completely. Still – by a stroke of luck – he had been born a mortal man, and death was his only way out of the cruel world to which he brought such cursed hardship. Thus, he considered it a rare stroke of genius that he should use Jimmy as an excuse to escape. He would die by Jimmy’s hand when the time was right, and Charlie need never be betrayed. His word would be left unbroken, even when he was lying in a grave with bugs eating his corpse. Or, more likely, burned to cinders, or even dropped to the bottom of the sea. Perhaps even left lying on the street to slowly decay until the smell attracted one of those nosy old ladies, causing them to walk over and discover… The sight would probably give her a heat attack. Was he going to continue to kill, even in death?
A soft sigh rippled through Kougu’s lips at this thought and he shook his head. It was so like him. He simply could not escape the murder cycle…

Focusing once more on the situation at hand, Kougu gently released Jimmy and stepped away – suddenly unwilling to remain so close to the man, now that he was so determined that Jimmy should live. He did not trust himself around such a precious asset… His murderer-to-be! This thought sent a thrill of joy through Kougu – causing the sort of butterflies one might feel when thinking of their fiancé to swoop around his stomach. There was nothing quite as exciting and enchanting to him as his death, and all involved in it. Jimmy now played an important role in the fate he had planned for himself… Another missing piece of the puzzle: Found. Just a few more, and he’d have solved it… Just a few more, and he would get the eternity of suffering he deserved. “I was wrong, Jimmy.” Kougu whispered quietly from his spot a short distance away. “Hell would be lucky to have you.” His jaw softened slightly, and though Kougu’s lips remained unmoving, his eyes smiled at the man before he turned slowly away. Jimmy would be unconscious within a moment anyway, he was sure of it… He had said what needed to be said.

He sighed softly, then raised his head and glanced around. He had a feeling he was forgetting something… Something important… How had he got into this situation in the first place? Why had he and Jimmy even begun fighting? ”What d’you think?” The sarcastic words darted through Kougu’s mind in a cold voice he didn’t recognise, and he gasped suddenly at the flash of pain they brought to his heart. “I’m sorry…” He whispered to himself, clutching his head. “I’m so sorry…”
”You don’t understand. No one understands… Pain assaulted him, and Kougu doubled over with a groan, clutching at his head. “I’m sorry… Sorry… Sorry…” The words dribbled from trembling lips as he slowly shrunk, crouching close to the ground and gripping his head tighter. His hair felt moist and sticky beneath his hand… But wait- what? That wasn’t right – not right at all!
Pain darted through Kougu’s hand like a bullet, and a soft gasp escaped his lips as he dropped his hands into his lap and examined his open palms, sitting back on his heels. His left hand looked, he thought in disgust, rather like a doughnut. Indeed, there was a large hole blasted right through the centre, and blood gushed sickeningly from it – as though flooding through a portal from another dimension.
Ah… So he had got shot. He had not realised until now… Kougu stared unseeingly at his bloody hand – his dark eyes reflecting the ruby-like droplets as they dripped rapidly from his fingertips. They were so beautiful… He wished they would fall faster.
Shaking his thoughts aside, Kougu looked pointedly away from his injured hand – fighting a sudden urge to be sick as bile rose up in his throat. It hurt, but he didn’t care… What bothered him most was the all-too-familiar sight of a crimson coating on those pale hands… He clenched them into fists – his left hand simply twitching uselessly and failing to obey his commands. In improvisation, his right fist clenched tighter and began shaking with the strength of his emotion at the sudden memory of his deceased family. Damn! Now was not the time to be thinking of them! He shook his head violently and staggered dizzily to his feet. Now what was going- … Charlie!

Kougu’s eyes widened in shock as he suddenly remembered why he was there – and once that realisation struck him, he could not comprehend how he had managed to forget in the first place. Charlie… He hoped she was okay…
Irritably brushing aside his thoughts, Kougu raced to her side and dropped to his knees beside her. Once again he felt the bile rising in his throat, and he gulped nervously. The blood… So much blood… “Charlie?” He murmured softly – longing to reach out and touch her skin – just to reassure himself that it was still warm… But he dared not. He couldn’t get any closer… Never. “Charlie… Hey…” He spoke quietly, his voice slowly falling into despair. “Answer me… Please… Just say something. Wake up.” He begged hopelessly.
Kougu sat back on his heels then and dropped his face into his hands, feeling sickened by the scent of his own blood, but clutching his head tighter all the same. “Please!” He gasped in a desperate whisper, muffled by his hands. “Please… Wake up!” His voice shook slightly, and Kougu took a deep breath to steady himself. He had to keep a grip…

”Who are you?” Jimmy’s words replayed in his head over and over again, and as Kougu slowly lowered his hands to gaze at Charlie’s bloodied face, he heard them once again. Who was he…? That was not hard to answer, after all. His actions throughout this entire situation had proved it again and again… Ever since Charlie had spoken those fateful words to him. ”You don’t understand.” She had been right… He hadn’t understood, but he did now:

He was his father’s son – through and through.

((Not happy with this one either -__- I know, I'm such a hypocrit Sorry it took so long, I've had block, alongside schoolwork. Hope you can find something to write about behind the random babble ))

“You don't want to know” the words washed over Jimmy like a tidal wave crashing over a small wooden cabin. He was unsure whether he was supposed to be stirred by this, that it was another of Kougu's little phrases spoken only to wind him up and get him to show his weakness, or whether he really was being truthful. Didn't he want to know? Well, he knew that was a stupid question. Of course he wanted to know! Otherwise he wouldn't have asked... He felt his spine give way as he leant backwards onto Kougu, his legs shaking as he tried desperately to simply keep himself upright. How long did he have? Minutes? Seconds? At the rate he was going, he'd be down and unconscious in less than a minute. His heart began to punch frantically at his rib cage as his breathing deepened, like every single breath of oxygen he inhaled was less and less helpful to keep him alive. He didn't want to die... Scrunching his eyes closed, Jimmy clenched his teeth. He wasn't going to die. He couldn't die! Not like this...
“It is a pressure point technique called ‘Keichu’. I was originally going to-” I don't care... He thought to himself furiously. How the hell do you know that? How the freakin' Hell would you know something as complex as that? Not to mention it's a complete different language... Seriously, what is that? French? With a dog-like snarl, he threw his free hand over his head in attempt to get Kougu's grip from his neck, but his considerably weak body caused him to miss, and almost fall flat on his back. He probably would have too, if Kougu had not been there to support him. Support him... Why was Kougu still there behind him? Was he there to boast? To threaten him? To tell him he was to stay away from Charlie 'or else'? He seemed too soft, but Jimmy had learnt appearances could be deceptive, rather greatly in some cases. This moment especially. Well he'd be ready. He'd be ready for whatever verbal crap Kougu had for him. He now knew what the boy was capable of. He would not crumble. He would stand strong. He would...
Relief almost seemed to drain him of all his energy, rather suddenly as Kougu spoke. “You’re not going to die.” There it was... That was all he had to hear. He wasn't going to die, just black out. He was going to be fine. Letting out a long, shaky sigh, Jimmy relaxed his eyes, his lips tugging upwards to reveal a satisfied smile. Ah, so he wasn't going to die? That was great. Perfect. But Kougu certainly would. One day. As soon as they met again, he would die. It was only the single spark of excitement that thought brought upon him which kept Jimmy's body upright for a moment longer, as he remained in the arms of his most despised enemy, hearing the blood inside his head whooshing around his brain, a tinnitus gradually growing stronger by the second. It became so loud Kougu's next sentence only came out as a faint roaring in his eardrums. “You don’t deserve to die… So when you awaken, Jimmy, save one of those bullets for me.” His eyes widened almost so the whites of his eyes and his icy blue irises looked like large round marbles in his sockets. Save one of those bullets for me... Had he really imagined it? Had Kougu seriously just said that? He couldn't be serious... It was almost as if he was...asking to be killed? No... No, I couldn't be. The whole idea was preposterous! Even someone as soft as Kougu wouldn't ask someone he'd just attempted to kill to save a bullet for him... It just didn't make sense!

As soon as his arm was released Jimmy felt himself fall down... Down... Down into a weak, wincing figure on the cobbled ground. He let out a faint cry of pain, rolling hesitantly onto his front. He couldn't move anything... at all. What had Kougu said, again? That it was his pressure point...Keichu or something. What was it suppose to do? paralyse him? Panic whooshed over him as he shakily rose his head, noticing Kougu was staring up at the sun, shining cheerfully in the sea-blue sky. Cheerful without me... he thought bitterly, shaking his head. It seemed everyone was happier when he wasn't around. Why was that? Wasn't he fun? Oh no, that can't be it. I can be fun... Well, I certainly have fun. But whether others can enjoy being around me... What was he thinking? Of course people enjoy being around him. He didn't give them a choice. They knew what happened if they didn't do what they were told. But Kougu... He was different. Jimmy just couldn't decide whether it was supposed to be good or bad.
“I was wrong Jimmy” The words echoed again and again through his mind, just as he felt his eyelids begin to droop. He wanted to ask why, what Kougu had been wrong about, but his energy was draining from his body like water, along with his consciousness. He could tell even if he opened his mouth now nothing would come out. He lay there, rolling onto his side to rest his head on the comfort of his sleeve, listening as Kougu's final words sounded through his roaring eardrums. “Hell would be lucky to have you”.

That was it. That hit a nerve. He remembered those words. He remembered who had spoken them earlier in his life, and it hadn't been Kougu. No, this had been Jimmy's own father. He remembered his father, that menacing grin he had been oh so famous for – a trait in which Jimmy had also inherited. He remembered the WANTED posters, the news reports, the lists of the dead, his mothers painful screams...
How alike they both were in so many ways. Jimmy was on the edge of becoming a wanted man, he'd maimed and killed, he'd caused pain to the one he loved with all his heart. And (xD) he'd actually enjoyed it.
Like father, like son.
Now he knew what the phrase truly meant.
He was just like his father, which had been his plan all along.
I won't let you down, Pop. I'll live up to your name, just you watch me. Yes, he would make sure he lived up to his father's name, starting off with the list of the dead.
And Kougu would be the first to suffer.



Darkness... I cannot see anything other than shadows. Nothingness. It's almost haunting. But I can't open my eyes to look. That would mean using far too much effort.
“Charlie?” Charlie... Charlie... Charlie... Charlie... The word echoes continuously through my brain before it registers, yet I find I'm still helpless to do anything about it.
“Charlie...Hey...” Wait a minute... I know that voice, that sounds almost like...
“Answer me… Please…” Kougu! “Just say something. Wake up” Kougu... Kougu! I'm here. I'm alive... I think. Am I alive? Why wouldn't I be, if I can still her him speaking? I'm not that insane, am I? My brain's not that complex...
“Please!” Wow, he sounds desperate. Even when he's whispering I can still sense the despair in his voice. I just wished I could do something to help his suffering. What was he begging me for?
“Please... Wake up!” Oooooh. Wake up. He wants me to... But I can't! Isn't it obvious? I can't, I just... I don't know why. I can't... I don't understand... I hate hearing the pain in his voice. He really thinks I'm dead. I'm not, am I? I can't be. So why can't I wake up?

Consciousness dawned upon me like an evening sunset, yet I had no idea where it had come from.
The darkness was suddenly overpowered by a blinding white light, and the sound of faint shuffling from close by seemed to thunder deafeningly through my eardrums. What was that light? Heaven? I'd heard in near-death experiences people saw a bright light before they 'blacked out'. But what about the shuffling? What was that all about? Tiredly, my eyelids fluttered open, squinting as the light defined into a few blurry shapes. A figure was knelt a foot or so away form me, head in his hands. His long black hair covered what I supposed was his face, but even that was enough to tell me who it was. Kougu. The coldness of the tarmac on my skin dug uncomfortably through my clothes, but I had nowhere near enough energy to move. It had taken all my best efforts just to keep my eyes open. My eyebrows twitched together quizzically as I studied his body language; hunched over, gripping his head as if crying or mourning. But over what? What had happened? “Hey” I said, surprised how croaky my voice was. Still, I couldn't have cared less. What was bothering him so? My lips pulled into a tiny smile. Whatever it was, I was sure I could fix it. “What's up?” Despite the obvious tired tone I had no choice but to use, the cheerful spark could definitely be heard. At least he'd know I was okay, then wouldn't that make him at least feel better at whatever he was upset about?
An excruciating pain stabbed at my skull, and my face suddenly scrunched into a silent scream. My lips parted widely, but no sound exited them, much to my disappointment. I so desperately wanted to express how much it hurt, but all came out - after several poor attempts – was a pathetic mouse-like squeak I pushed myself onto one elbow, bringing my hand to my head. Almost as soon as it had come the pain greatened at my touch and I let out a pained gasp, hiss through my gritted teeth. My hand dropped to the ground, splashing minute drops of crimson to glitter the grey floor. The realisation that it had come from my head terrified me, as I couldn't even remember why I'd got the wound in the first place. It could have been my head as it hit the ground from my fall, but that would then bring up the question of what - or who - had caused me to fall in the first place. Had it been Kougu? He did look rather guilty... But no, if it had been Kougu, I would be dead. No questions asked. So who?
My eyes flicked madly over the scene, when my gaze suddenly dropped on another figure whom lay lifelessly on the grey cobbles beneath him. He too had his face hidden, but it didn't take a genius to know who owned that sandy blonde hair, cropped at the sides and long in the middle, usually combed reasonably neatly over his grey forehead. Yet now it was brushed in all directions, dampened by the beads of sweat which trickled unwillingly down his scalp. My eyes widened.
It was Jimmy.
He had his back to me, but I could tell it was him nonetheless. What had happened? I had no memories of how I'd ended up on the floor, nor did I have any of Jimmy. But Kougu was the last one conscious, before I had been anyway. Did that mean he was the one to blame for the both of us? “Jimmy...” I croaked, wincing again at the pain on my head. “Ji- Jim... Is he dead?” I still lacked the energy to look Kougu in the eye, but the worry in my face was more than noticeable. That was it, wasn't it? Kougu had killed Jimmy, tried to kill me, then was now crying over it. I wouldn't have minded so badly if it was just me he'd tried to kill. I had already been warned, and I'd chosen to take my chances. But Jimmy hadn't. Sure, he may have seen it coming, but he hadn't been warned of what Kougu had been capable of. He'd seen the hints, but he was too simple-minded to think better than try and challenge him again. What had it been this time? What had he said to make Kougu mad enough to snap? It had to have been something bad for me to have got in the middle of it all. I rubbed my eyes, drawing my finger together as they pinched the bridge of my nose. I had to get to grips with myself. It might not have been Kougu, I had to get that inside my head. It could have been Jimmy for all I knew. I might have got in the way, like usual. It might have been Jimmy who struck me on the head. There was no point skipping to conclusions just yet. I removed my fingers, feeling my strength grow by the second. I was now able to sit up, but I didn't bother trying to get any further than that, in case I ended up collapsing again. “What happened?” I asked Kougu, forcing myself to look him right in the eye. My smile had vanished from my face, being replaced by an unknowing frown. What had happened? What had I missed?

Then I remembered. The memories crashed down on me like tumbling rocks as I gasped, my head snapping round to see the smoke as each strand intertwined it's way up into the sky, fading into the air. The house... My house... Embedded in the dancing flames, the crowds, the businessman... My hand rose unwillingly to my mouth as a horrified gasp escaped my blood-drained lips. “I remember...” I whispered shakily, my eyes now wide and glassy as tears pricked desperately at the lenses. I didn't want to cry again, but apparently I didn't have a choice. My hand made it's way back up to my head, where fresh warm blood trickled over the crusty surface that had been created just as the wound was freshly made. My heart was racing in my chest. I could feel myself begin to tremble terrifyingly yet I could do nothing to stop it. I was scared... Petrified... “K-Kougu...? W-what h-hap...h-happened? What's-s on m-my h-head?” Before I could say any more, my head dropped forward and my lips parted, spraying out a large heap of acidic slop onto the floor in front of me. Where had that come from? My stomach clenched sickeningly, forcing out mouthful after mouthful of wet vomit to trail out of my mouth. Eyes closed, unable to stand the sight of the vile substance draining down into the gutter, I spat out a final blob of gooey flem, bringing my sleeve to my lips and wiping away a small bead of spit dribbling down the side of my lip. The unpleasant taste lingered on my taste buds, but I was just glad it had stopped. If I'd had more in my stomach I knew it would have gone on for far longer. It didn't surprise me that I'd thrown up, but it had been rather uncalled for, as I'd had no warning feeling or anything. Still, I couldn't exactly shout at my stomach, and remain to look sane, could I? Swallowing uncomfortably, I looked up at Kougu, my eyes watering slightly., although this was more from the pain in my stomach than proper mourning tears. I'd used up all the water and food in my system, and it had only been then that I actually realised how hungry I was. Clutching my stomach painfully, I studied him for a moment, my face scrunched into a tiny wince. This was the type of pain which was unwelcome to me, yet I was completely and utterly helpless as to what to do to lessen the pain for myself. Now, not only did I have the mourning of the loss of my home to worry about, but I now had a stomach ache to worry over. Great. Just great.

((Gah, that took too long. Haha! Now I only get 4 hours of sleep. *dies* ... SO worth it. For some reason, I am not completel ashamed of this one. O.o Though thankfully I haven't read it over yet... Hehe! ))

Kougu’s fingers parted, and he peered cautiously through the gaps between them, almost certain that the voice he had just heard was merely born from the desperation that was consuming his entire soul. The unfaltering desperation just to hear Charlie’s voice, just once more. Somehow, it felt like everything was be over. It didn’t seem right that time, life, everything should just go on as per usual, when the greatest evil in the earth had just been duplicated.
Just like his father…
Just like his father…
Just like his father…
That man had been the beginning and the end of humanity all at once. Kougu remembered it – the story that man had told him. Of how Lucifer, an angel of light, had forsaken the Lord and fallen to the shadows to create a world all his own. How even his name’s meaning had been flipped onto the opposite: Changing from meaning ‘light’ to being associated with ‘darkness’. Darkness… Why was it that people feared it so? Darkness was simply the absence of light. The absence of ‘Lucifer’. The absence of the Devil… So why was darkness always associated with all things bad? The answer was simple, it always had been: It was human nature. They feared what they could not understand, and since darkness robbed them of their sense of sight, it was declared evil. Fear. Humans were simply too weak-willed to cope with it, yet they were endlessly inflicting it upon their fellows… One man, especially. Yet on some level, Kougu thought that perhaps the bravest were those who feared the most… That man – he was just so completely afraid that he completely refused to deal with fear. That was why he had sought out the power, and gained so much of it that fear barely existed in the world for him. The greatest burden of all had been lifted off his shoulders, allowing him to reach heights that humans ought never to be able to reach. He was like the earth’s own Lucifer… Satan’s angel, infecting the world with the light they so longed for, and robbing them of the dark that might have been their sanctuary, had they just been w little wiser… Had they felt just an ounce more remorse for their sins.

Kougu’s fingers tightened, and his bloodstained fingernails bit into the soft flesh of his temples, pressing a shallow indentation into the mangled scar rendered invisible by his thick black hair. He remembered so clearly that the memories pierced his mind like razor-sharp shards of crystal. The day he had gotten that scar had been the day he had made the greatest mistake of his life: The selfsame one that he had paid the greatest possible price for every day since. Every hour, every minute, every second… When all was said and done, he was only human. He, too, had chosen light over darkness… Humans were so flawed. Why was it that their impure spirits could never find the right path? They spent their entire lives digging their own graves… Still, who was he to think so little of the poor, pathetic fools? He simply spent his life waiting for the day that he could let it go. Could anything be more pathetic than that?
All because of that choice he had made… The choice that he now realized had flung him onto the selfsame path that his father had walked.
Exactly the same…
The world would crumble into dust if such evil was allowed to exist within it. Him and his father both… They were one and the same, and the loathing Kougu felt for both was almost more than he could handle. How had it ended up like this…? Why did it have to be this way? All he had ever wanted- All he had ever lived for-

“What's up?” The weak, yet cheerful words instantly grabbed Kougu’s attention away from his thoughts, and his fingers split wider apart. He peered through them, his vision framed by the abundance of glistening blood that his injured hand had left plastered across his pale face. His dark eyes widened and blinked in dumb shock at Charlie as she slowly began showing signs of life – shifting her position slightly, and whimpering quietly with the pain of it all. He had not imagined it… She was all right! Hope darted through Kougu like a jagged bolt of lightning, igniting once again the tiny flame within him that had so nearly been reduced to smouldering ashes. That last spark of hope that he nurtured so carefully, for fear of losing it – and losing all he had left. It was that hope along that kept his determination and resolve intact – two things that he could not do without.
Charlie was awake.
Kougu let this delicious burst of good news crash over him again and again – as relieving as a delightfully cool breeze entering a furnace in a desert.
Slowly, he lowered his hands from his face and raised his bloodstained head into a slightly more dignified position to watch Charlie worriedly as she struggled to get her bearings. “Jimmy… Ji- Jim... Is he dead?”
Kougu’s expression softened at those words, and he watched Charlie with the sort of fond tenderness which showed his true personality – the one so contradictory to that man that he shared such likeness to, that it had almost been crushed out of him. Yet to see Charlie so concerned for Jimmy’s welfare, even after all he had done to her… It was just like how she had taken pity on him that time he had snapped. She was just a good person, through and through. She had no flaws, in his eyes.
You don’t understand.
The sharp-edged words sliced unbidden through Kougu’s mind again at that moment, and he cringed away slightly, a timid trepidation creeping into his expression as he began to watch Charlie rather like a dog expecting a beating. Those words… Not even so much the words, but her tone- The look in her eyes- He had never felt anything quite like it. It was as though the ice in her eyes had frozen his heart in his chest, and now Kougu could have sworn that the blood in his veins was running cold.
“What happened?” Once again, Charlie’s words dragged Kougu’s thoughts back onto the correct track, and he glanced over at her – despairing at the sight of the painful confusion in her face. “Charlie, I-“ He began, but the words caught in his throat. What was he supposed to say? He had let Jimmy strike her down, and then he had struck Jimmy down. It was a double failure… How was he supposed to describe that? ‘I messed up, and I’m sorry’? What would be the point? What difference did ‘sorry’ make after the damage had been done? It was too late to undo what had already been done. If there was one thing life had taught him, it was that time went on, regardless of what was happening in the lives of each individual person.

“K-Kougu...? W-what h-hap...h-happened? What's-s on m-my h-head?” Charlie suddenly began stuttering fearfully, and Kougu’s head darted up, a faint haze of crimson flying from his pale skin to join the small puddle slowly pooling there from the neat, gory hole in his hand. Suddenly, a rather queer expression crossed Charlie’s face, and Kougu’s midnight blue eyes widened in panic. He lifted off his knees slightly, and reached out toward her. “Charlie… Are you-“ But before he could get any worthwhile words past his trembling lips, Charlie’s own lips parted to release a vile wave of vomit. For a moment Kougu felt a shudder of repulsion ripple through him, but then he reminded himself: The blow to the head, and everything else… It was to be expected. And besides, he had dealt with worse.
He placed one foot on the ground, and shifted hesitantly toward her. He slowly extended one hand, placing it tentatively on her shoulder.
Time seemed to freeze for a moment as he thought back to before.
“What d'you think?” he remembered those callous words, and the way she had shrugged off his hand so angrily after all it had cost him to rest it there in the first place. He had done his best to comfort her, but he had only made it worse… So much worse. Typical of him. And then his foolish efforts had been thrown back in his face, and he had been stung as though by a dozen poison darts to the heart.
He tensed suddenly, the muscles in his arm locking as he faced the sudden inner conflict, wondering if he should pull back. He wasn’t sure if he could cope with having his efforts rejected again… It was already so difficult for him, yet he wanted so desperately to help Charlie… To comfort her in any way possible, and do what he could to ease her pain. He simply loathed having to watch her enduring such suffering… Yet it seemed that every time he tried to help, he only made it worse. Was he being selfish, keeping her around him when he knew so well that he was only messing everything up, and would continue to do so?
But none of that mattered now… What mattered now was Charlie, and he had to decide: Did he want to be there for her, or not? Did he want to push himself past his limits, pour in such a massive effort, and attempt to comfort her with the unbearable risk of hurting her more, and having her hurt him, too…? Did he want to risk the return of that despondency that left him so weak of will that he simply allowed himself to submit to those cruel instincts in his twisted mind?
Not a chance.
And not a chance was he not going to take this chance, if there was just the slightest chance that it might ease Charlie’s suffering. Life was about chance, after all.
Kougu’s tense muscles finally relaxed, unlocking his arm and allowing him to rub his hand soothingly up and down Charlie’s spine as her back convulsed with the terrible outbursts of vomit.

When it had finally stopped, Kougu shifted slightly away from Charlie, dropping his gaze nervously to the ground. He was being such a fool… He had these boundaries for a reason, how could he have forgotten that?! What if he was to snap with his hands already so near to taking Charlie’s life? It would be over in a single heartbeat… Where had this foolish trust come from? Hadn’t he learned his lesson? Gosh, why did he always have to be so-
Kougu’s wandering thoughts came to an abrupt halt at he caught Charlie’s eye, and he suddenly remembered her earlier questioning from before. She wanted to know what had happened – there was no way he could deny her that. “I’m sorry…” He began quietly, letting his eyes slide shut and bowing his head toward the ground in shame, his dark hair falling over his face. “It- It was my fault… I- Well, I interrupted, and Jimmy-“ Kougu broke off his disjointed speech with a sharp intake of breath as he thought back over what Jimmy had said. “Have you ever been in love, Kougu?” Love… That entire conversation… “But I have to admit, watching her squirm has to be one of my favourite bits. The fear in her eyes, the terror... Oh, you should see it, Kougu. You should see the noise she makes. Oh... It makes you feel like a God...” His right hand slowly tightened into a shaking fist against his leg, whilst his mangled left hand twitched uselessly, and began gushing fresh rivers of blood onto the saturated paving stones. Jimmy… He was so much like Kougu himself, yet so completely different. The thoughts that had gone through his head when Jimmy had spoken those fatal words, how could Kougu ever explain that? “Jimmy-“ Kougu attempted again, forcing the words past unwilling lips. “He struck your head with the gun handle… You went out like a light. I’m sorry… I should have been able to protect you… I-“ Kougu’s voice sped up in desperation, and before he knew it he had his head clutched in his bloody hands again. “Gosh, I’m so useless!” he groaned in despair, his fingers slowly biting into the soft flesh of his face. “If I’d never come after you in first place- If I’d only got there sooner- If I could have kept my head- Not provoked him- Got you away from him right away-“ He broke off, shaking his head and dropping his hands down again to fix his pleading gaze on Charlie’s face. “I messed up.” He admitted simply, “I should have been able to stop all this…” A frustrated sigh escaped his lips, but Kougu shook it off and forced himself to go on. “After he had hurt you, I wasn’t going to just wait around for you to bleed to death… So I knocked him out – and here we are.” Kougu explained with a shrug, almost laughing at the thought of how vaguely his simple words seemed to explain the complex happenings of that entire situation… How he had skipped out that painful realisation he had come to…
Just like his father.

Kougu suddenly jerked his head up and spun it around so quickly that his neck cricked. He almost trembled with alertness as he stared into the shadows where he had heard the sound. For a second he had thought- As though conjured up by his thoughts… He could have sworn he had seen the man’s face. But nothing was there… Besides, he couldn’t be there. He wouldn’t dare.
A faint shudder ran through Kougu’s bones, and he looked away, turning his attention back to Charlie. “You look terrible.” He commented bluntly – managing to speak tactlessly as usual, even with the best of intentions. “Come back to the house.” He suggested politely – speaking as though to a stranger. “You need to rest… And eat. There must be some food left in those cupboards…” He managed a faint smile, then finally clambered to his feet.
He held out his left hand to help Charlie to her feet – a somewhat distant smile curving the lips of the mask which had replaced his face – guarding the emotions he had slowly been learning to endure and express. His eyes flickered to the hand he was offering then, and his brow wrinkled into a frown of disgust as he noted the blood dripping from the fingertips. He raised it to his face, and examined it with the curiosity of a scientist watching the effects of an experiment. A large portion of his hand seemed to have vanished into what now resembled a vortex covered on either side by curtains of blood. The flesh had been blasted away by the bullet, leaving a neat hole cleaved in his palm as though by a sickle. Shards of bone protruded around the fleshy edges of the wound, and it was at these that Kougu stared with vague, unconcerned interest. Presently, he tried to close his fingers, and watched in vague amusement as his hand twitched like a spider with its legs pulled off. The pathetic appendage was so useless, so helpless… It tried so hard to obey his commands, yet it simply could not do it, and it punished him with pain for requesting the impossible. This excited Kougu, and he continued the torture, trying harder and harder to fix the mangled hand into a fist, and causing it to twitch more and more desperately. It was the sort of mindset of the cruel child who takes pleasure out of ripping the wings off of butterflies, only the cruelty was done upon himself… And the satisfaction it brought him was like a drug.
Finally, Kougu snapped his thoughts back to the present, and dropped his hand to his side. It went limp instantly, and flopped pointlessly against his leg – blood flowing freely and cascading down like a waterfall from each fingertip. Apparently there were plenty of veins in his hand…
Reminding himself of what he was supposed to be doing, Kougu extended his right hand instead – a sweet smile flickering at his lips. The words flashed through his mind again and again, but this time Kougu faced them, and clung to his resolve even as they washed over him. Charlie was alive, and that was all that mattered… “Kougu, how can I ever be okay?” … “You don't understand. No one understands...”
“Come on.” He murmured quietly, his expression softening into a kind, caring smile. “Everything will be okay. Believe me, I know… You’d be surprised how much I actually do understand.” He reached his hand slightly closer toward her, gesturing for her to take it so that he could help her to her feet. “You’re alive, right?” He concluded gently, “What could be more ‘okay’ than that?”

((4 pages! *squeals* xD I don't know where it came from, I got in a little typy mood *sheepish grin* Anywho, hope this is any help. I daren't read it to be honest... Oh, and I look forward to whatever twist you have int mind ))

I sat hunched over, my fingers grasping my churning stomach. I had nothing left in my system to vomit, but it didn't seem to stop my body from wrenching out whatever fluid came out from my dry intestines. I clenched my teeth, my stomach suddenly imploding achingly inside me. My face scrunched involuntarily into a painful wince as my lips parted, giving out a long, quiet groan. What? I thought furiously to my stomach. What the hell d'you want?? As if in reply, it growled ferociously, causing my belly to vibrate under my palms. I was hungry, yet it surprised me. I'd not felt hungry earlier, in fact I hadn't felt hungry really since I'd woken up that morning. Which suddenly reminded me: Did I ever eat those cornflakes...? I didn't think so, I'd got so caught up with the fire engines I'd forgotten. Fire engines... Fire... The dancing flames drowning your house... Patronizing you... Manipulating you... Laughing at you... No! No, forget it. It's over, it's happened. It's going to be dealt with, in time. You heard the businessman. Where was he from again? Homes for... No. Habitats for Humanity. That's it. He said he'd have the house rebuilt for free. You'd just need to give him a call later once you got home. Just forget it... I swallowed for a final time, forcing back the sickly tang of regurgitated goodness-knows-what continuing to tease my taste buds (Sorry, couldn't resist ). Great, now all that had been 'dealt' with, I could concentrate on nursing myself back to health and getting over what had happened there. The flames, the dancing flames... No! Stop it! I couldn't have stopped it...
“I'm sorry” Kougu's heartfelt apology interrupted my thoughts, yet it surprised me how much I wasn't fighting him to prove him wrong. It wasn't his fault, I knew it wasn't his fault. I was sure, deep down – way, way deep down – Kougu knew the same, but for some reason he seemed to have a strange feeling that whenever I got myself in some painful mess that it was his fault, even when all the fingers were pointing at me. It was just this one time I was too bothered with my own pains I didn't stop him as he went on mentally beating himself up. “It- It was my fault… I- Well, I interrupted, and Jimmy-” Well, I could guess what Jimmy did after that, since if what Kougu was saying had been true, then it was probably Jimmy who had caused the bloody wound to my head. But how? Surely he had to have used something to hit me with other than his fist. I mean, I knew Jimmy could cause some real damage when he wanted to, but something this bad... I snapped back to the present suddenly to realise Kougu was shaking. No, his hand was shaking. I frowned, letting my gaze trail down to the sickly would on his palm, that seemed to coat his entire flesh in crimson. My eyes widened. Where the hell had that come from? What had Jimmy done to him? What had he done to himself? He looked as if he was attempting to clench his wounded hand, and yet it was resisting, as if it knew how much pain it would cause him. My jaw dropped. What was he thinking about? Keeping my gaze locked on his bleeding hand I inhaled a sharp gasp, staring at the rivers of blood which were trickling down onto the pavement. “Kougu? Ko- Kougu... stop. You'll-” But he seemed to ignore me, and carried on as if I'd never spoken. “He struck your head with the gun handle… You went out like a light. I’m sorry… I should have been able to protect you… I-” Ah, well that explained a lot. It explained why I felt as thought I had a massive hole in my head for one thing, but I still didn't understand why all this was Kougu's fault. He clutched his head tightly, smothering yet more blood over his sleek black hair. I wished he'd stop, since watching him beat himself up like this over me made me feel aweful. I didn't want any more people getting hurt over me, since it seemed Jimmy had already suffered once. Now Kougu was bleeding... I could have almost laughed out loud at my own uselessness. All these people getting hurt because of me and I wasn't even conscious! It was almost sickening to think of what I was capable of achieving when I was awake. Hell, Kougu had attempted suicide over what he'd done to me, and it was debatable that even that was my fault. Besides, I had been the one who practically ran into thee path of the bullet, I had seen it coming. If I hadn't got myself in that position in the first place I wouldn't have been vulnerable therefore I would have been less likely to have tempted him to hurt me in the first place. Well, that was my view, anyway.
“Gosh, I'm so useless!” Kougu's scream in fury caused me to flinch slightly, but the words sliced into my eardrums like a knife. How could he think that? After everything he'd done for me... I almost felt offended by it, really. If he was so useless, what did that make me? He'd been shot, by the looks of things, whilst I had been unconscious. He had been threatened because of me by Jimmy, he'd nearly been killed. I'd practically just laid there and let him hurt me as much as he pleased, without even trying to fight back. He'd saved my life, fighting Jimmy off like that. If he hadn't been there, if he hadn't got to me in the time he did, Jimmy would have probably left me to die like a dog on the street. And (xD) to be honest, it surprised me he even followed, after what I'd said to him. Anyone else wouldn't have really been bothered, but I knew better than many the way I'd treated him those ten, fifteen minutes ago would have really upset him. Yet he still came for me, even after that. And he called himself useless? “If I’d never come after you in first place- If I’d only got there sooner- If I could have kept my head- Not provoked him- Got you away from him right away-” He looked up at me, a look of sincere despair drowning his expression. It was a look that made me feel sick with sadness just looking at him. “I messed up. I should have been able to stop all this…” How could he think that? Honestly, how? Seriously, his way of thinking was beyond me. “After he had hurt you, I wasn’t going to just wait around for you to bleed to death… So I knocked him out – and here we are.” The way he said it made it sound so simple, so easy... It was hard to believe just from that how painful it had been, for both of us. So Kougu had knocked Jimmy out, how?Had he used the gun handle too? Had he brought that gun from in the bathroom? I had hoped not, as I was sure he had promised he wouldn't use it unless absolutely necessary, and surely he didn't know Jimmy was going to appear? I mean, the way he'd looked at him when he'd realised he was there... I'd heard the defensiveness in his tone, the aggression. The 'Put her down sunshine or you'll regret it' attitude. Which meant that he must have used Jimmy's gun handle. But how? How the hell did he manage to get the thing off him? Okay, Jimmy wasn't smart, but he was clever enough to pull a trigger if anyone got too close, even someone with reflexes as fast as Kougu. Surely he would have shot him in time. Surely...
But of course, he had. How else would Kougu have got that bullet wound in his hand? Wow. To say I was meant to be more awake now, my logic skill hadn't seemed to have improved much. I faint 'click' caused me to stir slightly as I realised Kougu was no longer looking at me, but was now darting his eyes around madly to our silent surroundings. Had he heard something? I knew I hadn't. But then again, I had only just woken up, and I wasn't exactly in the best of health. My mind didn't work as quickly as his. But still... What had he heard? My eyebrows drew together nervously at the intensity of his body language. He was looking at the shadows, his gaze wide and alert. He almost reminded me of a hunters hound, which had just caught the scent of a rabbit or fox just in the distance. It was as if he'd blanked out everything but those dark shadows by the street corner, yet I couldn't understand to the likes of me what it had been that had alarmed him so. I peered at him over his shoulder, anxiety causing my stomach to curdle uncomfortably. What was wrong with him?
“Kougu?” In a flash he was back facing me, his expression now no longer tense. In fact, it had relaxed completely. Now, at the time I hadn't really thought this, but the question has now come to me, and I just have to ask it, even if it is to no one. But, how does he do it? How can he be so alarmed and tense at one minute and be utterly relaxed the next? And all within the blink of an eye? It's beyond me, and always was. Kougu himself was beyond me. He was just an impossible being, I got used to it. He didn't eat, he barely slept, he could draw his own blood without even so much as flinching. Then there was me crying my heart out over some nightmare that wasn't even close to true. The truth was, I was pathetic when compared to him. I felt it, too. But I couldn't help it, could I? Or could I?

“You look terrible” Kougu's soft words hummed pleasantly through my eardrums, drowning out the whooshing sound of the strong tinnitus which was gradually fading from within my head. Surprisingly, the words somewhat comforted me, ad I found myself snorting, smiling in amusement. That was probably one of the most honest things he'd said to me yet. Indeed, he was right. I probably looked an absolute mess. Running my hand through my matted hair, I shrugged, nodding in agreement. “Yeah...” I mumbled, unable to stop a small giggle from dribbling from my lips. But before I could say anymore on the matter, Kougu saved me the bother by speaking again. “ Come back to the house. You need to rest… And eat. There must be some food left in those cupboards…” I could feel my smile broadening, and biting my lip was all I could do to stop yet more girly giggles from escaping my mouth – which, may I add, probably stank of regurgitated food and and hot acid by now. Kougu was alright, I would be alright... After a while, anyway. As soon as I got over what had happened. But what about Jimmy? Was he still alive?
As if in answer, a soft moan came from the crumpled body a few yards away from us both. Jimmy's palm twitched slightly on the cold concrete, but he remained unconscious, as if sleeping. I shook my head. The guy was probably as tired as I was, maybe even worse. He'd had such a hard couple of days, not to mention no night's sleep. Because he was burning your house down, you moron! Wait, why was I pitying Jimmy? Out of all the people... He wasn't even bleeding¬ I brought my attention back to Kougu, my smile lingering on my lips for a moment before I remembered what he was talking about. “There must be some food left in those cupboards…” His words echoed once again in my mind. Oh yeah... I remembered! My lips parted as I let out a small laugh, looking down at my feet, which had currently lost their feeling after, what I thought was from falling and laying in such an awkward position. I gripped my stone-cold toes, attempting to get the blood flow going again. “Yeah...” I started, blushing slightly. “I don't think I ever ate those cornflakes on the worktop” I muttered weakly. “I'd got so caught up in...” I found myself trailing off, in a trance as I gazed aimlessly at the brick wall opposite me. Caught up in what? Watching my house burn down? Serving my mother? What?? What was my excuse? Since I'd met Kougu, it seemed I didn't have a single moment of relaxation, even when he wasn't there. But was that me blaming him? No, it couldn't be. None of this was Kougu's fault. It couldn't be, could it? It had been my fault I had rubbed Jimmy the wrong way in the first place, and I'd got him frustrated and feeling as though he was under competition. Kougu was only trying to stick up for me, and himself. No, of course this wasn't his fault! It was my fault, it always was. That was simply a fact I'd have to learn to face.

“Come on.” A voice broke through my thoughts, and I looked up to see Kougu offering me his hand. The sight surprised me, to be honest, after the way I'd treated him earlier. Hell, I was surprised he was still talking to me. “Everything will be okay. Believe me, I know… You’d be surprised how much I actually do understand” I looked down. He was using the exact same tone he'd used back at the house earlier in the morning. 'You know… You’re really a wonderful person. I- I just wanted to thank you… And just- Remember that, okay?'
Pfft. I bet he didn't think that now, did he? Okay, perhaps he'd not completely fallen out with me, but after the way I'd treated him when he'd found out what had happened... I didn't deserve this. I didn't deserve any of it. Why was he being so nice to me? “You’re alive, right?” Oh god, he was doing it again. That voice, that tone... It was so gentle, so innocent. I wished he'd stop it. I didn't want this. I wanted him to give me the same look of disgust everyone else on the street seemed to give me just for showing my face around outside. I wasn't ready for this.... “What could be more 'okay' than that?” He was quoting me. I understood then. He was quoting me, mocking me... That was more like it. That was what I deserved. The sarcasm... But, wait. Wait. I flicked my eyes up to his expression, and I found involuntary waves of relief flood over me. He wasn't being sarcastic. His smile was far too gentle to have such a speck of the kind. I stared at him for a second, my face suddenly blank, like I was waiting for him to burst into fits of laughter, or something. “Yeah, that's true” I mumbled to myself, colour flooding to my blood-drained cheeks. I could not believe It's thought such things about my best friend! Kougu was barely ever sarcastic. I couldn't remember a single moment which he had used sarcasm. Not out loud, anyway. Why had I thought that? Would on earth could have possibly brought me to believe such rubbish? I looked up hand, deciding if he was planning on killing me he wouldn't have waited for physical contact, and gently took his hand, hauling myself shakily to my feet.

It took a moment or two to get the blood flow back into my feet, but once the uncomfortably tingly feeling attacking the nerves around my feet, I found I was able to stand upright without aid. I let out a few shaky breaths before slipping my fingers into my jeans pockets, shifting uncomfortably to and fro in attempt to get my balance back in tact. I was so surprised I was standing, I didn't notice the blood flooding out of Kougu's hand and dripping into a sickly puddle of crimson one the freezing concrete until I realised he wasn't using it. At all. Eyes widening in horror, I stared at his limp hand, my stomach beginning to curdle yet again. What the hell had he done? By the look of the large black hole in the centre of his hand it seemed he'd been shot. I could only guess from what I could see that it had been Jimmy trying to defend himself from Kougu's also defensive attacks in which I had not been conscious to see. I shook my head. So much... There was so much blood... How could he stand there and not be bothered by it? Didn't it hurt? Had the bullet attacked his nerves that badly that he could no longer feel anything? Oh god, and this was all over me, too. Oh God... Oh god oh god oh god...
“Your h-hurt...” I muttered my eyes fixed on his bloody wound. “Are y- Are you alright? You should really try and stop the bleeding. Y-you might lose too much...” I looked around the street anxiously, but there was no one around. Thinking fast, I looked down at my hoodie, biting my lip. I was already freezing. Without it I'd start shaking like a hairless chihuahua in a snowstorm. But... oh, what the hey? It was for Kougu. I owed him this at the least. I slipped my arms out the sleeves, hesitantly pulling it over my head. A sharp pain stabbed at my head and I let out a painful gasp, quickly yanking it over my wound and pulling it inside out, so at least the vomit stains were on the inside. A frigid wind hit my skin, making me feel as if I'd been slapped, and it took me all I could to hold back the cold shudders that were lingering on my lightly chattering teeth. Wow, that was cold. But I had to focus. Now I had to put all my concentration on Kougu, and making sure he healed himself up...again. But Now it was all down to me. All this was my fault. It was my fault he'd been put into this mess, therefore I had to be the one to heal him up, whether he wanted me to or not. I took hold of the sleeves and folded the jumper in half length-ways, holding it out open in front of me. “Right, put your hand in there” I instructed, looking up at him sternly. “I'm not having you pass out...again. Just put it in there until we get back to the house. I can't risk you passing out in the state we're both in. You're hand's bleeding far too much and if you haven't already noticed, you have one ugly wound which, I'm guessing, is worse than that on my head. Please, just let me wrap it up, it might help it a bit. Would you? For me?” I looked up at him hopefully, before a thought popped into my head. Of course, after all he'd done for me, after he'd apologised when he clearly didn't need to... And I'd never thanked him! How could I have been so stupid? “And Kougu?” I asked, looking down shyly. “Thanks. I don't know where I'd be without you” Well, I'd be dead; it's that simple. I wouldn't even be here if it hadn't been for his help. But hey., the words sounded good in my head. “Please don't feel like you have to apologise. I... I'm sorry for the way I treated you earlier. I didn't mean it... I know you were just trying to help. I'm grateful. Really.” A lock of hair blurred my vision, and I dropped one of the sleeves in order to tuck it back behind my ear shyly. Why was I so nervous? Oh great, they were coming back again. The nerves. At the very worst of times. Great. Just great.

Clearing my throat, I grabbed the sleeve and opened the jumper back out in front of me to show Kougu. “Anyway...ahe-m...” I looked back up at him, forcing my lips to freeze in a stern frown. “Just put your hand in here. I'll do the rest. Then we'll get back to the house. How's that?” I asked, my eyes wide and innocent. Well, if that didn't convince him, I didn't know what will.

A faint smile of relief lit Kougu’s face as Charlie quietly mumbled a grudging agreement to his words, though she seemed to be speaking more to herself – or perhaps to nobody at all – than to him. Of course, this did not really matter, as long as Charlie knew… As long as she understood that everything was going to be fine, and that because of that she should just be happy. And if not happy, at least content. He could not have her suffering pain, distress and worry. That simply would not do – and he would do all he could to steer her away from such things. That was his job as her friend, right?
Well… If he was indeed her friend… He had been sure at one stage that the two of them had certainly shared a friendship, but after he had messed up so badly- With the house on fire, his tactless words and Charlie’s reply lashing him like a whip with poison barbs. Could Charlie possibly still consider him a ‘friend’ after all that? These thoughts dampened his spirits slightly, no matter how much Kougu tried to convince himself that it did not matter, and he soon found himself standing motionless and staring at the ground, seeming distinctly more subdued than before. He regretted what he had said, he really did… But as usual, regret could not undo what had been done. At least this time he had still gotten the chance to apologize, and to ask forgiveness… Though now he thought about it – had he even apologized for his tactless words? He honestly could not remember. Charlie-

Ah, yes! Charlie… It seemed she was saying something now, and of course he had not been listening. How typical… He really ought to pay better attention!
Feeling rather ashamed, Kougu glanced sheepishly up at Charlie and listened attentively to what she was saying. “Are y- Are you alright? You should really try and stop the bleeding. Y-you might lose too much...” An incredulous sigh broke from Kougu’s lips, and he glanced down with a fain chuckle – feeling a fond smile tugging at his lips. It was just like Charlie to worry about him, even over such a pointless injury. To worry – even when he was not worried. Then again, he supposed he would probably never be worried by an injury, since he never really cared much what the outcome would be. And the pain? Ha! That was a laughing matter to him, after all the pain he had suffered in the past. Honestly, how could one even feel physical pain beyond that permanent emotional pain so intense that it nearly blinded his every sense?
“I’m f-“ Kougu began, but before he could finish his simple sentence, Charlie had gone on again, this time playing the nurse card and speaking to him as though he was a little boy refusing to open his mouth for the dentist. Wait- Nurses worked with Doctors, didn’t they…? Oh dear, maybe Charlie was right. If he was being that stupid, then perhaps he had lost a little too much blood. Kougu almost laughed at this thought, but then he remembered that Charlie was being dead serious, even if he was not, and more importantly – that Charlie was still speaking and he was not listening. Again. With a faintly amused and extremely sheepish smile hauling at the corners of his firmly set mouth, Kougu watched Charlie with the best attempt at seriousness he could muster to hear out what she had to say. “Right, put your hand in there” She told him sternly, gesturing toward the hoodie in her hands. “I'm not having you pass out...again. Just put it in there until we get back to the house. I can't risk you passing out in the state we're both in. You're hand's bleeding far too much and if you haven't already noticed, you have one ugly wound which, I'm guessing, is worse than that on my head. Please, just let me wrap it up, it might help it a bit. Would you? For me?”
For a while, Kougu was still trying to contain his amusement at Charlie’s little ‘convince Kougu’ speech, but when she mentioned the wound on her head, he sobered up instantly. Of course… She was hurt! How could he be finding any of this amusing?! Suddenly furious with himself, Kougu was about to launch off on a mental tirade berating himself for his stupidity, when Charlie suddenly interrupted his unpleasant thoughts once again – distracting him from a mental argument which might have ended badly. Wow… How was it that she always knew exactly how to deal with him? “And Kougu, Thanks. I don't know where I'd be without you. Please don't feel like you have to apologise. I... I'm sorry for the way I treated you earlier. I didn't mean it... I know you were just trying to help. I'm grateful. Really.” Kougu felt a pleasant yet undeserved warmth spreading through him as Charlie thanked him, though he honestly didn’t see that he had done anything worth being thanked for. Still, he appreciated it greatly, and it was an incredible feeling to actually have somebody express gratitude toward him. It had seldom happened before, no matter how hard he had tried… However, when Charlie mentioned ‘the way she had treated him earlier’, the warmth melted away instantly to be replaced by an uncomfortable cold weight that sat sickeningly in the pit of his stomach. She had done nothing wrong, he was sure of that. Yet still, her words had stung. That had hurt… A lot. He did not want to be reminded of that now.

Kougu bit his lip and turned away, hating the cruel, mocking echoes of Charlie’s words that ran through his head. He didn’t know what to say… His tongue felt as though it was made of sawdust, yet he knew he had to say something. Here Charlie was not only thanking him unnecessarily, but apologizing too! And for his mistakes, nonetheless! The least he could do would be to say something worthwhile… Or just to say anything at all. Anythink but this uncomfortable silence. Say something, damn it! Kougu thought furiously to himself, determined to squeeze some form of speech from his stubborn tongue. Come on… “Uh..” He began hesitantly, falling silent the next moment. The sound of his own voice gave him strength though, and Kougu relaxed slightly – deciding to say exactly what was on his mind. “Wow… I-I don’t know what to say!” He murmured with an awkward chuckle, staring at the ground and painfully resisting the urge to fiddle with his hands, since he knew his left hand was best off left alone. “Well… Thanks, I guess.” He said with a faint smile, finally deciding on the most simple words. “And you needn’t apologize either.” He added with an earnest shake of his head, “I got what I deserved… Besides, maybe I needed to hear it.”
Kougu managed a weak smile, struggling to keep himself in a positive frame of mind when his thoughts kept drifting back over those harsh words… He gave an involuntary shudder, and was exceedingly glad when Charlie began speaking again – suddenly seeming mildly uncomfortably. Strangely, this boosted his own confidence in contrast, and Kougu felt himself relax slightly – a smile falling more readily across his pale face. “Anyway… Just put your hand in here. I'll do the rest. Then we'll get back to the house. How's that?” Well, that was relatively simple, right? Kougu glanced down at the hoodie she was holding out for him. It was chilly… Surely she was freezing without it? And his hand… It was bleeding quite heavily, and he doubted the stains would ever come out. He remembered only too well how stubborn a blood stain was… The thought dragged a chill down his spine, leaving him feeling as shaken as though it had been only yesterday when he had been trying to clean the blood from the snowy white carpets…

With an effort, Kougu dragged his attention back to the situation at hand. He supposed that, to some extent, he understood Charie’s desire to stop his bleeding, and perhaps ease what she might consider to be suffering… So perhaps it would actually be better for her if he just acquiesced to her wishes, yet made sure to get her back before she got too cold.
His decision made, Kougu raised his dark blue gaze from the hoodie and looked into Charlie’s innocent eyes. The sight drew a sincere smile across his lips, and his tone fell into childlike sweetness as he softly replied, “Arigatou Gozaimasu.” Reverting back to his old habit of applying Japanese words in speech. A habit, of course, contracted from co-operating with his father’s wishes back in the old days… His father had always had something of an obsession with Japan – something he still did not understand.
As though summoned by his thoughts, Kougu suddenly heard a sound behind him again, and his head jerked around like before.
All thoughts of Charlie and the hoodie were forgotten as he dropped his injured hand back to his side, staring deeply into the shadows. His body vibrated slightly in alertness, almost like a wild animal trembling in anticipation when it has sensed a threat. Well… Humans, animals, all the same. Kougu’s eyes narrowed, and he stared hard into the shadows – determined to let his eyes reveal whatever secrets might be lurking there. The seconds ticked by like snail-paced heartbeats as Kougu stared, and stared, and stared… Yet nothing happened.
Finally, after what seemed an eternity of suspicious examination, Kougu turned back to Charlie. His eyes darted over her briefly, as though summing up her condition, before he offered a grudging explanation. “I- I thought I saw… Never mind.” Kougu shook his head rapidly – suddenly seeming completely serious, and even a little nervy – his light-hearted attitude from a few minutes before completely forgotten: A mere shadow of a memory. He cast a brief, nervous glance toward the shadows, then took a few quick steps forward. “Come on.” He muttered urgently to Charlie. “I don’t like this… Let’s go.”
Without waiting for an answer, he began strolling purposefully back the way he had come not so long ago… Only to find a shadow on the ground at his feet, and a tall figure blocking his path.

A soft gasp escaped Kougu’s lips, and his head snapped up – staring into the figure’s face. His features were hidden by shadows, but nothing could ever make Kougu forget that profile… Emotion crashed over him, and the boy slowly fell to his knees – the man’s very presence acting like the strike of a metal club to his head. Blood roared in Kougu’s head as he stared up at the man’s silhouette – a million mixed messages shooting through his mind. “O- Ottosama…” He murmured in wonderment – his tone completely unreadable, it was so filled with mixed emotion. Awe, hatred, desperation, desire, guilt, regret, love, respect, admiration, pain… So many memories raced through his mind, and suddenly Kougu felt just like a boy again. So utterly helpless… Yet so desperate for the man’s approval. So desperate… “Boy.” The man greeted him coolly, and Kougu flinched away from the disapproval in his tone – suddenly feeling a childlike need to make excuses for himself.
But what excuse was he to make? ‘I refused to do your bidding, because I think you’re wrong. Because I can’t forgive you. Because I hate you…?’ How would any of that help? This man- He hated him. He was going to kill him! Wasn’t that what he had decided?!
“You’ve got some nerve showing your face here.” Kougu growled, suddenly forcing himself back to his feet as his resolve hardened. The man twitched slightly as his son drew himself up to his full, and considerably tall, height. “I’m surprised you even dared, when you know full well-“
“Know what, Kougu?” The man asked tonelessly, raising his eyebrows and looking down on his son condescendingly, as though he was little more than a piece of dirt on the sole of his shoe. “Know that you intend to kill me? Please. You and I both know that you don’t have it in you.”
“How would you know?” Kougu replied darkly, his voice shaking slightly with fierce, hidden emotion. “You never really knew me. You never bothered. How do you know I haven’t changed?” He raised his eyebrows threateningly and waited for the man’s response – his muscles tensed all the while to defend himself.
The man shifted slightly – struggling to hide the faint intimidation he felt at his son’s words. He knew that the boy was bluffing… Yet even he could not fully shake the hint of unease that those death threats brought. He could not die… He was far too valuable to the ideal world he had vowed to create. Still – he could not die by this boy’s hand. He simply knew the tool too well…
“People don’t change.” He stated simply, “But you, boy… You’ve been defying me.” His gaze flickered to Charlie, and his cold, dark blue eyes gripped hers for a moment before he looked back at Kougu. “It seems you want to be like me after all.” He whispered menacingly, a faint smirk curving his lips. “Well done, boy.”
Kougu’s eyes followed his father’s gaze quickly at the unexpected words of praise, and when he saw Charlie standing there, his heart skipped a beat. He had nearly forgotten her… Yet despite himself, Kougu felt a rush of pride at his father’s words. To have the wish of his childhood granted… It sent a sickening warmth flooding through him, and made him feel even more disgusted by himself. Yet he could not deny it… He still hungered for the man’s approval, even now, and getting that approval brought a terrible satisfaction to his soul.
“And if you are right… What might that mean for you?” Kougu asked, narrowing his eyes threateningly and taking up a ready stance. Again, his father shifted nervously, but then he reminded himself – this was psychological warfare. He had taught the boy this… Yes, the boy was a genius, but he had the upper hand… He knew this child too well – and he knew that he could never summon the courage to harm his own father, no matter what he did to his pathetic little Kougu. He was simply too soft… That was one of the many things that made him the ultimate masterpiece… “Boy… Know your place. You forget who taught you.” Came the callous voice, the man taking a single step toward his son and finally leaving the shadows, fixing Kougu with a dark glare. “Gomen Nasai.” Kougu murmured in a small voice, dropping his gaze to the ground as a hot flush coloured his pale cheeks – guilt and shame shooting through him at his father’s words. The man was right… He, Kougu, had no right to challenge his own mentor.
“Good boy.” The man said with a self-satisfied smirk, taking another step toward Kougu, who shuddered slightly at the closeness. “Sit.” He commanded firmly.
“I’m not a dog…” Kougu protested weakly, but he sat anyway, staring timidly up at his father as the man stalked past him, moving toward Charlie. Kougu made a faint sound of objection and made to get to his feet, but once fierce glance from his father’s icy eyes froze him to his spot, and he slowly pulled his knees up toward his chest and simply sat there – all thoughts of the terrible things his father had done completely forgotten as he reverted back to his childish ways of blind obedience…

Ignoring Kougu, the man stepped briefly toward Charlie – his ‘businessman’ alias completely dropped. He didn’t care much if she recognised him as that same person or not. It did not matter, anyway… He had run out of patience for that particular strategy, anyway. He had to know… Now. “You.” He stated bluntly, his hard gaze fixing on Charlie’s face. “What is so special about you…?” He murmured wonderingly, stretching out his hand to grasp Charlie’s chin and examine her face as though she was some sort of particularly interesting experiment.
Kougu stifled a whimper of objection from where he sat – suddenly too timid to oppose his father at all – even where Charlie was involved… The amount of power the man held over him was inconceivable. Yet it seemed it was not enough… Not for him. “Why does he function for you…?” The man went on thoughtfully, staring at Charlie a moment longer, then glancing at Kougu, then Jimmy. For as long as he could remember, he had been unable to convince the boy to willingly hurt anything. Yet for this one simple girl, it seemed he was willing to go to extraordinary lengths… Why? What power did she hold over his tool that he did not have?! If he could not have it, then it would have to be eliminated. It was that simple. He could not allow anything in the world to exist while it might threaten his ideals…

((Arigatou Gozaimasu. – Thank you. // Gomen Nasai. – I’m sorry. // Ottosama – very respectful version of ‘father’. Like, ‘Lord Father’ or ‘Father Sir’ …. Polo is Japan obsessed. It had to be done. ))

“Arigatou Gozaimasu” I raised my eyebrows, the words passing over me as a tidal wave of gibberish. Had I heard that right? Was it another language he was speaking in? It sounded a little Chinese, or was it Japanese...? Hell, it could have been Swedish for all I knew. But why was he speaking in a completely different tongue to me, when he probably knew I was not going to be able to respond to it well, since I had no idea what he'd said? Still, since I could only guess it was incidental, and I soon let it pass. The smile gave it away, without a single hint of sarcasm, it was honest. Just like the rest of him. Goodness knows how he learned to speak Swedish, since he didn't really look very Swedish... Although honestly, I didn't really know what a Swedish person looked like... But really, my point was, I'd believe him. For now, anyway.
Colour rushing to my cheeks, I looked down at the hoodie for a moment or two, waiting patiently for him to finally obey me and put his hand in the hoodie – not that I was trying to take charge, or anything – when I noticed he was no looking at me. In fact, he was looking nowhere near me. He had that same face he was wearing earlier, his eyes darting and alert, almost like an animal which had sensed it's prey. It was scary, really. I didn't even think I saw him blink. The world seemed to come to a standstill. Everything went silent; the birds didn't sing, the wind didn't howl. Everything was still, all except for Kougu's racing heart, which seemed to be the only sound within miles of the two of us. A clock that stopped ticking... I noticed Kougu's eyes remain locked on the shadows he had been staring into just a moment earlier. The exact same... What was it that was bothering him? Why was he so...scared? “I- I thought I saw… Never mind” My eyebrows knitted together in a concerned frown, and my lips parted slightly. Something was bothering him. Something wasn't right, but he didn't dare tell me what. “Kougu? Kougu, what/s wro-” I began, but was quickly cut off by his voice once again. “Come on.” He urged, and I sensed an obvious spark of anxiety in his tone which hadn't been there before. This...this unknowingness... I hated it. I hated not knowing what was bothering him, when I knew there were few things that could usually scare Kougu. Death didn't scare him. In fact, he seemed to welcome it more than anything else. It couldn't be pain, since he was probably already in plenty of that with the bullet wound in his hand, and he barely even noticed that. He wasn't scared by the police... So that only really left one thing. His father. But he couldn't have seen his father. We'd probably know about it before the guy even came within spitting distance from us, by the way he sounded. He'd make an entrance, no doubt. Besides, I when I'd mentioned wanting to meet him Kougu had looked at me as if he was holding back his will to kill me. He'd probably kill his father before I even knew he was there. There was nothing to worry about.
So what was it that was bothering him?
“I don't like this... Let's go” He set off before I could object – not that I was planning to, anyway. But I suddenly found my feet were remaining stubbornly glued to the ground, if such things were possible. I didn't want to move, because now Kougu's uneasiness was causing me to become curious involuntarily, and I didn't have time to feel such things when Kougu was in this much danger, and when my wound seemed to be dangling my consciousness teasingly by a thread before my very eyes. Neither of us were in the state to be outside very long. We needed to get back to the house before either of us passed out. I knew, if Kougu passed out in front of me I wouldn't have any idea what to do, with him or myself. If it was me who'd pass out, I'm sure Kougu wouldn't really know what to do either, if not completely freak out. Hell, I had been lucky he hadn't completely blown his head off when I'd been shot. He'd been the complete opposite, in fact. But I wasn't going to take any chances this time. I looked down at my hands, suddenly realising the jumper was still there, completely untouched by Kougu. Of course, he'd just gone and walked away... Great. Just great. Why had I expected him to do what I'd said? So far it seemed whenever I tried to get him to do something, mostly for his own well-being, he'd somehow find an excuse for himself not to do it. Perhaps I should have thought of that before he walked away from me... Huffing to myself, I tied the sleeves around my waist, deciding that it would be less painful for me to just keep it away from my wound for now, no matter how chilly it was. Now then, where had Kougu gone off to...?

Gingerly, I turned on my heel to where he had headed. He had got as far as she shadows, but now he looked like he was with someone. A male. Tall, with dark hair. But his features were hidden in the darkness of the shadows. I couldn't tell anything really from what the angle where I was stood, other than the fact his very being was making a shocking impact on Kougu, who seemed to have sank to his knees, as if almost finding himself in the presence of some kind of God. What was he doing? I shuffled closer, still keeping aware of the two. Whatever they were doing, whoever the man was, I didn't like the way Kougu was reacting. It could be worse, I told myself, he could be grovelling and kissing his feet... But, really? Who was this man to make Kougu act so... unlike himself? Kougu whispered something breathlessly, although I couldn't quite make out what it was he'd said. This was so unlike him... He' d never done this to anyone I'd met: Jimmy, Chief Samuels... Well, obviously I didn't expect him to. But who was this man? What did he want?
“Boy” was the intruder's cool reply, which told me nothing about who he was; a fact I was so desperately hoping to find out. Who was this man? Who was he to make Kougu feel so small?
“You’ve got some nerve showing your face here.” Kougu muttered darkly, finally pulling himself to his feet. At full height, I realised he was not much smaller than the dark figure before him, in fact, they were pretty much the same. The figure remained disguised by the darkness of the shadows, although I noticed a new wave of confidence washing over Kougu which hadn't been there before... Not that I was complaining. I was glad he was no longer kneeling down, since it just made him look like he lacked authority, like he was insignificant next to his dark being. He and I both knew he wasn't, after everything he'd done for me. At least, I hoped he knew he wasn't. Did that not explain why he was standing now, after he'd been kneeling before? “When you know full well-”
“Know what, Kougu?” the male cut him off. “Know that you intend to kill me? Please. You and I both know that you don’t have it in you.” Wait, what? Kougu intended to kill him? Who the hell was he? Wow, someone had been keeping a lot of secrets from me.
“How would you know? You never really knew me. You never bothered. How do you know I haven’t changed?”
“People don't change” The man replied simply in the same emotionless tone I recognised Kougu speak when around Jimmy - and me... sometimes anyway. There was something about him; Something familiar... I just couldn't quite get my finger on it.
“But you, boy… You’ve been defying me” With this his menacingly dark blue eyes flicked to mine, and they remained locked there for what seemed like a lifetime. Those eyes... Even in the shadows, I recognised them from somewhere. Somewhere... Where had I seen them? I'd definitely... Wait. They were Kougu's eyes. Kougu had those same midnight-blue eyes. Was he...? No, no he couldn't be. Could he? Surely he wasn't Kougu's father. Surely... I shook my head, suddenly drawing my eyes away from the male's ice-cold gaze. I couldn't stand to look at him any longer. Not when he was looking at me like that: all knowing with a strong hint of jeopardy. They were talking about me, I knew it. I was almost scared to find out what they were saying, to be honest. I didn't mind being out of the conversation, but when you know people are talking about you, and giving you looks like...that, it unnerves you. I heard the male whisper something to Kougu, and he suddenly snapped his head in my direction, an unreadable look crossing his face. What were they saying about me? I shifted my weight uneasily, looking down. I hated this... I hated not knowing what people were saying about me, especially my best friend. What else I hated was not knowing what my best friend felt about the entire thing, especially when he walks around with a blank expression pretty much all the time. Why does he hide his emotions? Honestly, why? What good does it do him? He only ends up bursting into emotional fits later on. So why do it? What was he hiding from me??
Kougu finally turned back round to the male and muttered something to him seriously, causing him to shift uncomfortably for a moment or two. They know each other... I couldn't believe it had taken me this long to figure it out. Of course they knew each other! How could I not see it? The way Kougu had reacted just at the sight of the figure gave the entire thing away. Now Kougu seemed to have got his confidence back completely, and the look he was giving off was almost...threatening? I so wished I could have brought myself to go and investigate, but just seeing the intensity of the two there, in front of each other put me off. I wasn't going to risk any more by interfering with any more business that was not mine to interfere with.

I heard the man's faint muttering in reply, and I could only bring myself to listen partly in fear of what they might be talking about. All that hit my ears was a dark “Know your place.” It wasn't much, but it was enough. Know your place... What the hell was that suppose to mean? Kougu's authority was as high as anyone's, surely. He definitely acted bold and confident, especially when challenged. He had a mind of his own. Yet this man was telling him he didn't know his place? Right, I was sick of this. I was sick of knowing nothing about a conversation when my friend was being threatened. I had to find out who this man was.
I only got as far as a few steps before the male revealed himself from the shadows, and when he did I saw a face which stopped me in my tracks. The threatening glint in his eyes, the sleek black hair, gelled spotlessly on his olive-toned head... I'd seen him before... The businessman! What was he doing here? What was he doing threatening Kougu? The conversation echoed continuously inside my head. You’ve got some nerve showing your face here. I’m surprised you even dared, when you know full well-
Know what, Kougu? Know that you intend to kill me? Please. You and I both know that you don’t have it in you.
How would you know? You never really knew me. You never bothered. How do you know I haven't changed?
This meant Kougu's past headed back further than he made out. 'Know your place'? What was that supposed to mean? Authority came naturally to us, I was at a lower authority to my mother, and to Jimmy, and to pretty much everyone, really. But no one would ever tell me to 'know my place' if I did something a little dramatic or if I stood up for myself. They'd probably just laugh at me. But telling me to know my place? That's just insane.
Kougu muttered something apologetically and dropped his gaze, cheeks flooding red in shame. The man took a step forward, the rays of the late morning sun hitting his handsome face like a bullet, yet he didn't even squint. He looked down on Kougu with a sinister gaze, smirking in satisfaction. “Sit” he ordered, as if speaking to a young puppy. My eyes widened. Where was Kougu supposed to sit? He didn't have a chair or anything... Oh come on, surely he didn't mean to sit on the floor like some homeless hermit? Surely Kougu wasn't going to take orders form this... fraud? To my horror, Kougu muttered something weakly and sank to the floor, staring reluctantly up at his master with wide, midnight-blue eyes. The man stepped past him, not even bothering to see where he was stepping his feet and began strolling towards me. Kougu shuffled around to scramble to his feet, but after one threatening glance shot by the dark figure kept him on the ground, hugging his knees almost like a toddler on the naughty step. I shook my head in disbelief, keeping my eyes locked on the nervousness in Kougu's body language. What had happened to him? It was like he'd completely deflated. He looked like a child in the form of a young adult awaiting punishment. I couldn't bring myself to understand it. Being with me meant he was independent, and he barely ever did what I told him the first time, even if it was for his own good. Yet this man had showed up and treated him like a pinch of dirt, and he'd done what he was told and willingly. What was going on?

If we had been alone, I could just have imagined the conversation we'd have.
“Hey, Kougu.”
“Yeah?”
“You dropped something.”
Kougu looks around the floor quizzically. “What?”
“You're dignity” I say with a sweet smile, continuing with whatever I' am doing at the time. Ha, yeah. If only I had the chance. But now, I had better things to worry about.

“You.” A low voice grunted, causing me to stir slightly. I'd never even noticed him approaching, I'd been so bothered about what he'd got Kougu to do. Who could possibly have the power to make him do such things without question? Me... I looked up at the male sternly, before flicking my gaze back down to Kougu. What was he doing? I blinked a few times, suddenly realising who was stood before me and inhaled a sharp breath. Right, so whatever questions I had ready to shoot at him would be answered in whatever amount of time he was going to be stood there. I looked up at him with a firm gaze, suddenly feeling uncomfortable being in his presence. Seeing what power he had over Kougu had more than put me off him. Besides, I still needed to find out what the whole 'businessman' game had been all about. “What is so special about you...?” His dark, royal-blue eyes studied me intently, as if I were some alien he'd met on the street. I desperately wanted to get him away from me, to declare that his presence was not welcome in my company, but there were so many things I had to find out about him: Who he was, what he wanted, why he was there... I watched as his hand began to draw out towards my face, and jerked my chin away angrily. I'd had it up to my eyeballs with being man-handled. I didn't care what power he had over Kougu, what he could make him do. He was not going to catch me falling to my knees for him or sitting on the concrete like some filthy hermit. My eyes narrowed at his attempt to 'examine' me, and raised my eyebrows expectantly. Couldn't he learn to look with his eyes?

“Why does he function for you?” With this, I suddenly found myself laughing bitingly at his choice of words. Function? Out of all the things... What did he think Kougu was? “Function!” I exclaimed, suddenly aghast. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. What did he mean, 'function'? “He's not a bloody robot!” I said, my cynical expression frozen on my face. And what was he talking about, anyway? Kougu barely ever did what I told him to, since he'd always somehow find and excuse for himself not to do it. Plus, he'd always scuttle away before I even had a chance to argue. So what was he on about? I stared at him my whole face sinking to a serous frown. “You just don't...get it, do you?” I muttered in bewilderment. “He's never done anything...” I trailed off, following his gaze to Jimmy, who was still crumpled on the floor, dead to the world. Then I realised something.
Oh.
Oh...
Kougu had hurt Jimmy, which was something he swore he'd never do. He only hurt people for me, or because of me. Which meant...
Which meant Jimmy had been hurt, because of me. But how did this guy know? Was he stalking me? Was he stalking Kougu?
For goodness' sake...
Eyes still locked on Jimmy's sleeping body, I let out a small, inward sigh. “He'd only hurt someone if I was...” I trailed off, suddenly wondering how I would end the sentence. If I was, what? Hurt? Threatened? In danger? Dead? Because none of those words, I could guess, would go well in the long run.
I looked up and stared right into his sickly dark eyes, careful not letting out a single hint of fear or weakness. There were a few traits I could see in his face which I could see in Kougu's. For one, the sleek, black hair. It didn't look like it had been dyed, neither did Kougu's. Although Kougu's hair was far longer, and I doubted he'd even brushed it in weeks, if that soon. The skin tone was different, very different. But it was those eyes... They were exactly the same shade, they had the same emotions, and even when he wasn't threatening me, the hints were all there, in those eyes. Kougu's eyes seemed similarly emotional, but in a different way. Kougu usually walked round with a blank expression, but it seemed even when his face wasn't smiling, or mourning, or burning in hatred, his eyes always were. Which brought me to my next theory.
These two men had traits that were far too similar to ignore. This man knew Kougu well, and vice versa. The way Kougu looked at him... Like he was hungry to please, in the same way as he felt boiling hate and admirational love towards him. Sure, this man was, apparently, his leader, his lord and master, but he was also something else.
I'd got it right the first time. “Oh, come on...” I said, annoyance churning my stomach inside me. I shook my head, looking away from him. Great, so this was another day, ruined. “Come on, please do not tell me you're his father.” Now I was really beginning to feel irritated. As if today couldn't have got any worse? Why? Out of all the people, why did he have to come over and ruin everything? Really, I should have been trembling in fear. I'd seen the power he had over Kougu. I'd seen the fear he could create. But it didn't bother me. What bothered me more was the fact he'd had the nerve to show his face and get the idea that he could just take over everything. He was even worse than Jimmy, or even Chief Samuels. He was something else. What was it with men and thinking they ruled over everything?

Looking away, I let out a long sigh, another thought dawning in my head. “I'm not getting my house rebuilt, am I? I muttered flatly, gazing sorely up at the calming smoke evaporating into the air above the rooftops. What did you expect? The voice inside my head began to rant. You know your insurance couldn't have even paid for a window to be fixed, or a door to be screwed back onto it's hinges. How could you expect the whole ruddy house to be rebuilt for free? I clenched my jaw, my gaze dropping to the ground. It was true. I'd been so desperate to get the house rebuilt once I'd found what had happened to it I didn't even bother to think through the possibilities of it happening. How could I have been so stupid?

Looking back up to meet the male's gaze, I clenched my fists furiously, causing my knuckles to turn
to a bloodless white. This man had messed with me, then he'd hung about just to watch Kougu hurt someone. He'd taken over my best friend and treated him like a little toddler.
He'd deceived me, lied to me, and betrayed my trust.

I decided I didn't like him.

((Oh dear...erm... I apologize if I've repeated myself a bit, there. I had writers block until about 3/4 of the way through Hey, another 400 and I would have beaten your longest post xDD))

((Wownesssss! Go Dreameh! *glomps* Hehe! ^_^ It was SO EPIC that I literally HAD to reply as soon as I saw it. So my reply is done already! Haha! But it took surprisingly long... O.o Nowhere NEAR as utterly incredible as yours, but I don't think I need be ashamed, soooo... Hope you get something from it! Feel free to mix and match and twist as you see fit. ))

The man did not seem in the least bit put off when Charlie jerked her head away. On the contrary, he smirked slightly at the display of spirit. This just got more and more interesting by the second… To think that his own useless son could actually keep his head around such a fiery spirit as Charlie’s – It was inconceivable! Yet incredible… Oh, how he longed to study it… To slowly dissect it, cutting it apart piece by piece until there was nothing left at all. Only he would not do that… No. This relationship was good, and he felt he could use it. It was changing the boy…
His eyes flickered to Kougu, watching his son as the boy stared hopelessly at the ground. Right now, he looked utterly defeated. With his long, ominously pale fingers clasped around his knees to pull them pathetically to his scrawny chest, and his dark blue eyes scanning the ground as though he had dropped five stone of gold upon it. Right now, he was nothing impressive, but before?! Oh, the power! The presence! He had felt the intensity of the boy’s spirit like never before, and that pleased him greatly. His tool was growing, and if he was lucky, it would soon gain power of unimaginable proportions! Power enough for him to make his rule over the world official.
The man snorted derisively at this thought, thinking how, even in his head, the thoughts sounded like a an overused line of the ‘Baddie’ in some cheesy kids’ show. Well… When he did rule the world, that cliché line would be the first thing to be banned. He would not be judged for his choice of words simply because society had abused them in the past. Satisfied with his thoughts, the man let his dark gaze flick back to Charlie, raising his eyebrows and watching her with ill suffering patience. He gave her his complete and undivided attention, making it perfectly clear that he felt he was doing her a massive favour by giving up his valuable time to listen to her pointless speech. She was blessed, this girl. Either the Gods favoured her, or she had the luck of a devil. Either way – he ruled both. This thought brought a satisfied smirk to the man’s face, and it was with supreme arrogance that he heard out her futile complaints.
“He's not a bloody robot!”
Before he could help himself, the man released a loud bark of gleeful laughter, his eyes dancing in mirth. Such perfect irony! He was in luck today… This would be most enjoyable. “Isn’t he?” The man asked with a sickeningly sweet smile, casting a quick glance toward Kougu. “But how can you be sure…?” He questioned slowly, speaking in his classic low tone that somehow had a way of worming itself into the back of people’s minds, and lodging itself there.
Kougu’s head snapped up at this moment, and he flashed his father with such a sharp glare that the man was certain he felt the intensity of his son’s hatred strike him like a physical blow. It knocked the breath out of him, and he raised a hand to his mouth to stifle a cough, then turned away from Kougu, feeling slightly flustered. He understood all too well the dangers of acquiring power in this way… If it turned against him– If he could not control it- Everything would burn to the ground… A faint shudder ran through him, but he hid it flawlessly, and quickly refocused his attention on the girl, pasting a convincingly amused little smirk over his cruel lips. The smirk became sincere, and widened to a sneer as he heard the hesitant words “He'd only hurt someone if I was...” And as the girl trailed off, he snickered smugly to himself. Oh yes, little girl… It did indeed cross my mind that the sacrifice of your comfort, life, or sanity might leech the desired results from my dear tool… And though your hesitance shows that your thoughts share a track with mine, I am afraid I am already ten steps ahead, as expected… I wouldn’t harm you now… What would be the point? I hardly want to unleash this beast upon myself, so I now? He left his thoughts dumb, and offered no word of reply to the girl’s uncertain statement, for she was already speaking again now.
“Come on, please do not tell me you're his father.” Then, after a short pause, “I'm not getting my house rebuilt, am I?
This was almost more than he could take, and it was all the man could do to hold the laughter within himself at these words. Ah, these people! How wonderful they were! How ungodly it made him feel to sit back and watch them squirm… Ah, but he relished it so. Nothing else could quite amount to this feeling.
For a short while, the man was blank and silent whilst he composed himself to speak without laughing. “Why, whatever gave you that impression?” He asked with a sickening attempt at sweet innocence, but before he could say any more – a sudden hard voice cut him off.

“Cut the crap.” Kougu hissed darkly, his use of language emphasising the already palpable aura of change about him. He was not playing the role of the broken child any longer… He was not going to be bent and stepped on – not when Charlie was being mocked! No… This man had done enough damage to him already. He was not going to play his little mental game with Charlie as well! Not a chance!
Kougu was on his feet now. The moment he had heard that jeering laugh, the child in him had died, and left behind the pure, unfiltered hatred that dictated who he now was. Hatred for the man who had destroyed everything… And who he must destroy, at the cost of anything.
“But Kougu!” The man objected suddenly, in that same angelically sweet and innocent tone that made his blood boil, “You know I’d never go back on my word! Of course the poor girl will get the house I promised her… If you don’t get it destroyed again before it is even built, that is.” His sweet smile was like nails on a chalkboard to Kougu, and he took a single swift step toward the man, who tensed instantly into his defensive stance. “That was not my fault.” He informed his father coolly, and the man raising his eyebrows slightly in response to this, making a brief observation: The boy had changed. He had grown… Never before had he refused to accept blame.
“Charlie!” Kougu said suddenly, his authoritative voice like a whip lash in the eerie silence. The man watched his son’s sudden change with a greedy hunger in his eyes, seeming to drink in this incredible new sense of power and determination radiating from the boy, whose dark eyes remained locked upon his own even when he consulted his little friend.
“What you said about me… You were incorrect.” He went on tonelessly, his eyes still fixed challengingly on his father’s face as he stepped gradually closer to the man, his footsteps echoing like gunshots in the early morning stillness. “Which is why I believe it is time I stopped being so secretive…”
He had nearly reached the man now…
“Remember what I told you before?”
Just a little closer…
“About how my family died when I was young?”
A couple more steps…
“I lied.”
Stop.
“They didn’t die. I killed them.”
Kougu stood mere centimetres from his father’s tall frame now, a vicious snarling expression twisting his usually placid features as he held the man’s gaze with a potent combination of icy fury and boiling hatred.
“I killed them… Because of him.”
And with those words, Kougu moved like a bolt of lightning, stepping behind his father in an instant, and jabbing his fingers viciously toward his neck. The man’s eyes widened in mindboggling fear for a moment, but his reaction time was nearly as fast as Kougu’s, and he quickly twisted his head sideways, causing Kougu’s lethal fingers to miss their precise point and slide sharply down the side of his neck with a painful burning sensation. He swung around, clapping a hand to his burning neck, and fixed Kougu with an eager sneer. “I never thought I’d see you get so serious, Kougu.” He stated simply, emphasising his rare usage of the boy’s name. “And for some girl you dragged in off the streets, no less.” He dropped his hand from his neck to reveal a tiny groove with a trickle of blood running from it, a single droplet falling from the tip of his finger to splatter on the damp ground. “One would think that if you were going to kill, you’d do it to avenge them… Rather than to defend her.”
“Don’t you dare speak of my family with your filthy lips!” Kougu hissed furiously, his eyes darting briefly to Charlie, then back toward his father. Yes… Charlie was included in that category. “Ah, dear boy… You speak as though it was I who befouled your name.” The man replied with a smirk, stepping closer to Kougu, who cringed away slightly – causing the man’s chest to swell with satisfaction. “You and I both know that-“
But the man’s speech was cut off when Kougu’s clear, raised voice suddenly interrupted him, clearly directed toward Charlie once more – continuing the thread of his one-sided conversation from earlier as though he had never left off. “And that is why… Every day since then, I have endured life for one sole reason…” The man’s eyes widened slightly in excitement as he listened to his son’s dark speech – so like his own that it sent shivers of pleasure up his spine. “To kill this man, so that I can personally ensure that Hell treats the both of us with the suffering we deserve.” With these words spoken, Kougu launched a second attack, darting around behind the man to repeat the Keichu yet again, or so it seemed. The man was ready for it this time, and he dodged quicker, darting backward quickly, then bouncing to a standstill on the balls of his feet, moving with lithe, light steps. For a moment he watched Kougu with a grin of jeering satisfaction, but when he saw the bitter satisfaction on his son’s own face, the man’s confidence faltered. He paused for a moment to consider the situation, when a sudden, shocking realisation struck him. I can’t feel my arm! He glanced quickly toward his left arm, blinking in blind shock to see the limb hanging limply at his side. He tried to lift it, but nothing happened…
When had he-?
Ah, for course… He should have known better. He had taught this boy! Of course the tool would not launch the same attack twice in a row… He had been trained far too well for that. No, the fatal attack had been a feint, and whilst he had been dodging it, Kougu had jabbed at a pressure point in his arm and robbed him of his use of the limb – thus levelling the playing field, seeing as how the boy’s hand had been shot… Kougu ought to take better care of his own precious tool…
Seizing his bottom lip in his teeth, the man clutched his right hand around his left arm and slowly looked up toward Kougu, glaring icily at him. This was too risky… Nobody endangered his priceless life. Not even his greatest asset. Kougu held his gaze with a steely determination, and the longer the man looked at him, the more he felt himself robbed of breath. That desire to kill… It was palpable! Who was this- this beast that had replaced his son?! Was this really because… His gaze flicked toward Charlie. Because of her?! He thought incredulously to himself. It did not seem at all possible… Yet here was the evidence, right before him. All that had happened to change the boy was meeting this ‘Charlie’, but who would have thought one little girl could have such an impact on him? More of an impact than the death of his own family?! What the hell had he created? It was sick, twisted and deadly… Yet so beautiful. So dangerously beautiful that it could bring tears to the eyes of the most hardened soul.
Suddenly, the boy lunged for him again, and the man was taken by surprise. His eyes widened, and his breath caught in his throat, as a horrific thought darted through his mind. I can’t dodge this one!
Kougu’s hand was aiming at his stomach this time, obviously trying to knock him out… And then he might never wake up! Fear enveloped him, and at the sudden rush of adrenaline that accompanied it, the man surprised himself by grabbing Kougu’s fist before it could meet its target. His uncanny strength held the boy’s arm in place as he glared into the face that showed the same surprise he felt. Huh… So the boy was still showing thought. He had always failed at hiding it… He was simply too weak.
With cool composure, the man threw Kougu’s arm back towards him, and Kougu staggered back a few steps – still taken aback by the man’s inhumanly quick reflexes. Not once did it cross his mind that, when in danger of termination, the body will sometimes act all on its own… This had never really happened to him. At least, not that he could remember… For he had never truly feared death.

That near miss had been enough to convince the man that this situation was too dangerous, and that his mission must now be aborted in light of his personal safety. He had got enough information – and enjoyment – from this experience. Seeming perfectly calm and authoritative, the man turned toward Charlie, ignoring Kougu completely. “You have my card.” He stated simply, “And I stand by what I said. If you want that house, you need only give me a call.” He gaze a friendly wink, then cast a brief, sideways glance toward Kougu. “You don’t seem foolish enough to trust the word of a lying murderer, after all…” He added with a casual shrug, turning away and beginning to walk back the way he had come those few minutes ago, as though nothing had happened in between. He took care to pointedly bump his shoulder against Kougu’s as he walked past, and was not surprised when he felt bony fingers biting into his shoulder and pulling him back. He stopped, a satisfied smirk curving his lips as he heard the cold voice threatening, “You won’t get away that easily.” He turned back to face his son with a smug smile, speaking it that same sweet, angelic tone from before. “Won’t I?” He questioned innocently, “But who is going to stop me…? After you’ve passed out, that is. Which, now I think about it, ought to be any moment now… Right?” Kougu’s face fell at these words, and he glanced down at the neat hole in his hand – still gushing blood onto the damp ground at his feet. As though on cue, his heartbeat suddenly quickened with the shock of the realisation, pumping blood even faster from the wound.
Determined as he was to prove his father wrong, Kougu knew already that he had been bested, again… His father had been a step ahead of him all along – calculating how much time he had left before even he had done so… As expected, he had been accurate. In fact, Kougu’s vision was already failing, and he felt an intense dizziness that he was sure had not been there a moment before, though he may simply have failed to notice it in all the excitement. “D-Damn… You…” He muttered bitterly as darkness enveloped him, and he fell to the ground like a limp rag doll.
His father gave a brief nod of satisfaction, then glanced back at Charlie. “Charlie.” He greeted her with a brief nod, before turning to walk away – his right arm holding his deadened left arm to his side to keep it from dangling in an undignified fashion.

Just a few brief minutes later, Kougu began to stir. ((Just figured I’d add this so you can add on after he’s woken up if you want to… For interaction or whatever. Hehe!))

((OMW Polo! xD Seriously, how you can type something that amazing in so little time is beyond me xD My post took me around 6 hours to finish, never mind start! Wow... Polo just, wow... x) I personally wasn't to pleased with mine, but, okay then We both secretly know who ish the better writer ))

((Epic. Fail. Sorry about the ending... Well, sorry about all of it, really -__- I kind of spent over 5 hours on my essay and was only given around and hour and a half to finish this - it's probably loads of time for you, but not for me xD - anyway, hope you find something from my little paragraph of pointless babble ))

I didn't understand what it was that I'd done which he'd found amusing, and for several moments the idea made me desperately want to swipe that irritating smirk off his perfectly lined face. This man annoyed me, a fact I knew he'd probably intended anyway, not that it mattered. Authority meant nothing to me when it came to justice being made, and I was kind of looking forward to being the one to show him what I was made of. “Whatever gave you that impression?” The words replayed mockingly inside my brain, ringing with the same aggravating tone I'd heard him use as he was laughing down at me, his gaze dancing in sheer amusement at my own seriousness. Saying he was up himself was more than an understatement. He was so out of control due to his own self centredness I was starting to doubt whether he was any 'saner' than Kougu. What was so funny? I wished he'd tell me, because I so wanted to know. I needed cheering up, after his little 'performance' by playing the businessman, a nice joke was all I needed. But, to my ultimate dismay, I found he continued to jeer down at me, stubbornly refusing to share the inside joke which, it seemed, he was the only one finding it funny. Chewing at my tongue indignantly, I let my gaze fall away from his stupid grinning features and stared aimlessly at the pavement at the end of the small cobbled street. This wasn't quite going as I'd planned. But of course, what did? I'd not invited this man, neither did Kougu. So why was he here? What did he want?
“Cut the crap” I voice growled beside me, causing me to flinch uncomfortably. Who was that? I could have sworn it was Kougu, but the tone he was using brought a chill down my spine. He sounded nothing like himself, although I had been rather miffed because of the laughing figure in front of me. The male's laughter seemed to be clawing at my eardrums, leaving no room for anything else to enter my brain. Now I understood why Kougu was so stirred when he saw his face, although I thought falling to his knees was a little dramatic, since this guy, in my book, didn't deserve to be shown such domination. Kougu was stood now, I noticed, and was now stepping towards us, eyes locked threateningly on his snickering father, almost looking as if he were ready to kill him. I didn't blame him, to be honest. I was readying myself to teach him a thing or two. “But Kougu!” The older man asserted joyously, not seeming the slightest but stirred by the intensity of Kougu's body language. “ You know I’d never go back on my word! Of course the poor girl will get the house I promised her… If you don’t get it destroyed again before it is even built, that is.” My eyebrows shot up towards the sky, and I looked up at the male in astonishment. What the hell was that supposed to mean? Of course he would get my house rebuilt for me. Huh, like I'd believe him now! What did he take me for, some sort of idiot? Well, I admit, I'm not that clever at the best of times, but this guy didn't know that, did he?
“That was not my fault.” Kougu answered firmly, and I twisted my head round to face him with a similar expression. I was glad he'd made his mind up, although he'd done it surprisingly fast. Hadn't he told me just a minute or two ago that all this was his fault? “Charlie!” My head snapped up at the use of my name, and I noticed Kougu was talking to me, although his eyes were still fixed sternly on the older male before him. “What you said about me… You were incorrect. Which is why I believe it is time I stopped being so secretive…” He began striding towards the man now, and I found myself slowly retreating a few paces in order to see them both properly. Kougu had been secretive? Wait! He'd always been secretive, I knew that. I'd given up trying to get pointless information out of him a long time ago. But now... now he was actually going to confess to something! I wasn't sure whether I wanted to hear this...
“Remember what I told you before?”
He was closing in on his target, eyes locked on the prize.
“ About how my family died when I was young?”
Walking...prowling...
“I lied.”
He stopped.
“They didn't die. I killed them.”
(Sorry, the idea was so amazing I had to steal it xD)
It took me a moment to digest the information, yet even when it did I couldn't quite bring myself to believe it. His family had been killed...by him? I'd always presumed it was his father. That was why he hated him so much...
“I killed them...because of him”
I still didn't understand it fully, but the information he'd given me was more than enough. I turned to the male, my gaze hardening. It was funny, he didn't seem the slightest bit bothered, despite Kougu's accusations. That could only mean one thing: it was true. Kougu had killed his family, and for whatever reason that led his to do such a thing, the finger still pointed to his father. He wasn't even bothering to deny it! But wait, why had Kougu killed his family? Even worse, why had he lied to me? He didn't even have to have answered the question, just said he didn't want to talk about it. But no, he actually lied to me. He'd looked me in the eye and lied to me.
Well, he might not have actually looked me in the eye, but he'd still lied to me. Why couldn't he have simply told me the truth? I didn't understand... My eyes flicked back over to Kougu, watching his body tense like a dominant lion flaring it's mane whilst facing it's opposition. There was a deathly glint in his sickly black eyes which hadn't been there earlier, but I was far more than aware of the look he was giving his father, as I'd witnessed those eyes boring right into mine the day before. They spoke one word, and that one word was all it took to give away what he intended to do. Kill.
He was going to kill his father, or attempt to anyway. From what I could see the guy didn't have extremely quick reflexes, but of course looks could be deceptive. The way he seemed to act like he ruled to world, with that stupid 'know-it-all' grin he seemed to have plastered on his perfect little provoking face of his perhaps gave me a bit of a clue as to how well he was prepared. He wasn't armed, from what I could see. But from what I'd learned whether he had one or not it would make little difference to Kougu's attacking techniques. For once Kougu might just have met his match.
But would I be able to sit back and let him? I mean, yes, his father was a manipulative, annoying sod, but did he really deserve death? Perhaps I'd have to re-think my opinion of him altogether...
In the blink of an eye Kougu swerved behind his father, his first two fingers tensing as if into a pair of dagger towards the back of his neck, but the man was too quick for him and twisted his head to the side, causing Kougu's fingers to drag down the side of his neck. I had no idea what he'd been intending, as I'd never seen such a manoeuvre be tried before. I was unfamiliar with what it would do, but instinct told me it wasn't meant to be good. The man clasped his sore neck with his hand, wheeling back round to face Kougu. Despite his pain, that irritating smirk was still plastered on his perfect pale lips.
“I never thought I’d see you get so serious, Kougu.” He snarled “And for some girl you dragged in off the streets, no less” I narrowed my eyes suddenly, each syllable hitting my chest like a bullet. On second thoughts, perhaps I didn't need to rethink my opinion of him, after all... Did I really look like some... some girl? Well, I knew I was a girl, but I wasn't just some girl, surely... Some girl...dragged off the streets... How the hell did he know?! Had Kougu been communicating with him behind my back? Had he been stalking us? My eyes widened in horror. I didn't much like being stalked by the police, but this... this...creep? He dropped his hand to his side, revealign a small bead of blood to run down his finger to the cold ground. “One would think that if you were going to kill, you’d do it to avenge them… Rather than to defend her” Her... Me... Well I'm not too fond of you either, mate! I thought angrily to myself, looking away. The way he spoke about me, it was as if I was insignificant to him. You could say I should have been used to it, what with Jimmy and Samuels treating me the way they did, but this was different. This wasn't just patronizing, this actually hurt.
“Don’t you dare speak of my family with your filthy lips!” Kougu growled viciously. My eyebrows shot up, as I waited for him to say ...and Charlie. But he didn't. So did that mean...? Hope flooded through me. Did that really mean I was now classed as his family? Was I actually-
“Ah, dear boy… You speak as though it was I who befouled your name. ” He took a step towards Kougu, blowing up his chest. “You and I both know that-”
“And that is why...” Kougu continued, and it took me a moment to realise he was still talking to me, jusdt like he'd never left off. Yet he kept his eyes locked threateningly on his father. “And that is why… Every day since then, I have endured life for one sole reason” As his father's eyes widened menacingly, I found myself frowning thoughtfully to myself. What was that supposed to mean? What was it that was keeping him alive? Funny, he seemed rather 'lively' when I first met him, although that might have been because I didn't know him properly then. “To kill this man,” Kougu continued, “so that I can personally ensure that Hell treats the both of us with the suffering we deserve.” I gasped, suddenly noticing how dry my eyes had become from not blinking when they should have done, and I watched helplessly as Kougu launched himself towards his father, death boiling in his eyes. This wasn't like him. I'd witnessed him do many merciless things, from attempting to murder a policeman on the street to squeezing glass so hard it dug deeply into his fingers. But I'd never seen him want to hurt someone like he did with this man. I'd never seen him want to hurt a fly in his 'sane' state. But now... I didn't know what had happened to him. He was so blinded by hatred he could barely see what was right under his nose.
Kougu's father grinned at him smugly, until he saw the bitter satisfaction on his son's face and his own expression fell. As if discovering something for the first time, he looked down at his dead arm, realising with a jolt, it wasn't moving. I couldn't understand it myself, but it seemed the other two males before me knew exactly what had happened. In a blurry second Kougu lunged forward again, this time throwing his fist towards the man's stomach. But this time he was too quick for him, and at an inhuman speed grabbed Kougu's fist and held it firmly in place. Kougu's head snapped up towards him, surprise written all over his face. Honestly, horror would have been better suited for what I felt. My heart leapt up to my throat in apprehension as I watched the silent conversation going on between them both. The two exchanged glances, then before I knew it, Kougu's father shoved his arm back towards him, causing him to stagger back in shock. I tensed immediately, taking a defensive step towards them both. I was sick of sitting helplessly in the sidelines. Just like before... It was true. Whenever people fought over me someone got hurt, whether I tried to stop it or not. Well, not anymore. I was going to do something, for Kougu. Perhaps I didn't have the reflexes to fight, but words could still do enough damage. I just had to choose them carefully...

I didn't get far when Kougu's father turned to me, stopping me in my tracks. “You have my card” He asserted casually, completely ignoring as he struggled to take in what had happened. My eyes narrowed up at him, and I suddenly forgot everything which I was meant to be doing. Just one look at this man made you feel weak and helpless, since it was like nothing I could say or do would get to him. He walked round as if bullets bounced off him, like he literally lived off the 'sticks and stones' saying. I wished I was that ignorant, because then my confidence would have been far higher than it was. “And I stand by what I said. If you want that house, you need only give me a call” With that he gave me a business-like wink, something which caused me to inhale irritable and drop my gaze. How could he be acting so calm? His son had just tried to kill him... “You don’t seem foolish enough to trust the word of a lying murderer, after all…” He glanced casually over at Kougu pointedly, before shrugging and turning his back and beginning his way back where he'd come I clenched my jaw furiously, huffing to myself. Lying murderer? He'd been the one who'd lied to me, and who'd played around with my mind. Whatever reason Kougu had to want to kill him, I was sure he'd taken life before. Someone with reflexes as quick as that, who walked around like that, who spoke so self-centred as that, they would have broken the law. He must have. Sometime...
“You won't get away that easily.”
“Won't I? But who's going to stop me?”
My head snapped up, and I noticed Kougu had stopped him with a firm grip of his shoulder, although it hadn't seemed to have made a speck of difference to the guy's attitude towards him. “After you’ve passed out, that is. Which, now I think about it, ought to be any moment now… Right?” My eyebrows knitted together suddenly as Kougu began to sink to the ground, the blood from his hand suddenly gushing out onto the damp floor. My eyes widened to the point the whites were completely visible around my emerald irises as I rushed forward, unfortunately not in time to catch him as he fell in a heap on the hard concrete. I sank to my knees, shaking his shoulders gently. “Kougu? Kougu! Are you awake?” No answer. I clenched my jaw, studying his wound, which was still gushing blood uncontrollably into a a sickening pool by his hand. So much blood... What was I meant to do? I knew nothing about first aid. I didn't even know how long he had left to live!
“Charlie” A low voice hummed above me, and my head snapped up to see the male began to retreat away, holding his left arm to stop it from dangling unnaturally to the side of his body. His words echoed around in my brain repeatedly, as if trying to prove a point. If you want that house...give me a call...trust the word of a lying murder... What?! I wasn't going to listen to him. As much as I needed my house back... My house... My home... devoured by the flames... No! I couldn't listen to him. I couldn't...
A crimson blur brought me back to attention as I looked back down at Kougu's wound, my fingers tracing the jumper around my waist. I might as well do what I could have, since if... No, when he woke up, he probably wouldn't let me, whether it was going to help him or not. I pulled the jacket out from beneath me and wrapped it around his wound, lifting it away form the pool of blood beside it. I coiled it around his hand, imagining it was a bandage being wrapped over a broken limb. Round... Round... Finger... Thumb... I took hold of the sleeves remaining and knotted them together by what I could only guess was his palm. I rested it gently back on the cobbles, admiring my work. My face fell. It looked ridiculous... More like a child-made dark grey mitten than a bandage. Oh well, it would stop the bleeding... Hopefully. I shivered in the cool breeze, looking at his calm expression once more before shuffling backwards to the wall a meter or so away from him. If you want that house...give me a call...wouldn't trust the word of a lying murder... the words echoed once again in my mind. I needed my home back, for mother more than anyone else. Kougu wouldn't have the strength to put up with her forever. But how could I trust him after everything he'd done? I leant back on the wall, reaching into my back pocket and retrieving the business card I'd been given earlier. I held the corners with the tips of my fingers, staring at the numbers blankly. The covering was so smooth; so sleek under my touch. It certainly looked real. But was it? How did I know those numbers were nothing more than a fake, just like Kougu's father? How could I know for sure that he wasn't playing with me?

A soft groan brought me to attention and I looked over to Kougu to see him slowly regaining his consciousness. I quietly slipped the business card back into my pocket and rested my arms tiredly on my knees, giving him space to wake up. “He's gone” I said simply, looking down at my knees. “And he's taken his arm with him...” despite myself, I couldn't help but smile at this. Well, at least the guy hadn't walked away form this completely unharmed. He now had a dead arm to cope with. Good for him, I thought to myself, resting my head back on the cold, brick wall. I inhaled a deep sigh, gazing aimlessly up at the sun glowing down on the silver rooftops. Today had really not been my day. Not in the slightest. “Don't ask me where he went, 'cause I ain't got the foggiest” I added slowly, rubbing my bitterly cold hands together, as the feeling slowly drained out of them. I blew into them quickly, attempting to force the blood flow back through my body. I lstared at them thoughtfully, as if I'd only just descovered I'd got them - like a newborn child. Knotting my figers together, I took a deep breath. "You know," I said thoughtfully "The value of a murderer's life is never lessened by their actions..." I cocked my head in a pondering fassion. "...Aparently. Life has it's way of working itself out..." I trailed off. Why was I saying this? Who did I think I was, his mother? Still, now I'd started, I might as well finish. "After all, life is really nothing more than a single heart beat, a single breath intake and a single blink of an eye. My point is..." I sighed. "Things can seem like the end of the world, at times. You could lose someone you loved the most, and you think you've lost everything. But you know, every cloud has a silver lining. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not there. Perhaps..." I sighed, looking over to him tiredly. "You just need to look a little harder, instead of trying to destroy those who ruined your life. Just... enjoy and make the most of what you've got." I cleared my throat, looking back up at midday sky. My large t-shirt wafted cold air into my body as the wind blew innocently in the late morning air, yet the sun did nothing but make the scenery look a little less dull, not once radiating any sense of warmth onto my pale skin. Winter was on it's way. I glanced down at Kougu's hand, my lips tugging a tiny smile. He wasn't going to like having that on, I knew. Well, tough. It had his blood on it, now. There was no point trying to take it off, was there? I knew I definitely wasn't going to put it back on when it had his blood stained all over it. “It was either back then or now, and I knew you probably wouldn't let me when you were awake” I muttered innocently “Anyway, you're awake now, right? What would be...” I trailed off, suddenly realising I was beginning to quote his own words from earlier. “You know what? Never mind. You get it” I waved the words off with a flick of my hand, hugging my knees with a faint shiver. I was freezing, but I refused to whine. It was my own fault for not having some more layers on. Plus, the whole 'wrap-it-like-a-bandage' had been my idea, and I wasn't going to let Kougu take it off yet. Not until we got back to the house. If you want that house...give me a call...wouldn't trust the word of a lying murder... My smile vanished. How could I be smiling at a time like this? I needed my home back. “I-I need to go out” I said weakly, unable to meet his eye. “To...erm... To the insurance office. I have to get it sorted before they turn their backs on me again” I said, finally looking up to him with desperate eyes. “I'll come back to the house with you, since I need to get something from there before I go. But...could you not tell my mum about what's happened today? Please? At least not until...” I cleared my throat, looking back away from him guiltily. “Not until I've done what needs to be done” I couldn't believe I was going to do it, but I didn't have a choice. I was lying, badly, but I couldn't tell him what I was going to do. I just couldn't. He would never forgive me if he found out what I was about to do. But I had to get my home back, and this man was the only one who would give me the chance to get it back. Insurance office... Pfft. As if they'd ever do anything! They'd never helped me before. We'd frozen our backsides off in the winter because they wouldn't get our central heating fixed. I couldn't even remember ever having a warm winter since the accident. Why on earth would they start now?
I hugged my knees even tighter, resting my chin uncomfortably on the points of my knees. Forgive me Kougu... I begged silently. Forgive me for what I'm about to do...

((Thanks Dreameh! Hehe! Sorry I haven't had time to post yet. There's just no time! I've no clue where it all went... Well, today I had to study for maths. Yes. I studied *shudders* So yeah... That is my excuse. But I hope I'll get to reply soon! Haha! *glomps* Sorry for the wait!

Loved the bit you added on, but Kougu is SO not going to be impressed... Maybe... Or maybe he will? Or maybe he'll- ... You know what? I have no idea. Let's wait and see.

*offers superhug*
*falls asleep on keyboard*))

((It's alright, Polo. It really is I've got 4 exams to do before Christmas, including my piano exam. Although I can't believe you actually studied. You! *hugs*

We're at the weekend now so, hopefully you'll have enough time to reply then And yes, I didn't think he would Although I'm not really sure yet... Well, however he reacts will surprise me, no doubt I didn't really think about his reaction when I wrote it... xD))

((Sorry, it's quite terrible... o_0 I just couldn't get into the zone, but I wanted to get it done, so I just pushed through. -_- Haha! Still, I hope you can reply to that... Otherwise let me know and I'll try add something...))


As suddenly as it had left him, consciousness hit Kougu like a ton of bricks – and with it, a fierce, stabbing pain that at first he could not place. He drew in a hiss of breath through clenched teeth and held it for a moment, then released it in a subtle groan as another painful throb struck him – though he was still unable to identify its source. He simply hurt, everywhere, inside and out. That aside – had he actually just fainted? Really fainted from blood loss?! Somehow Kougu struggled to believe that, though he knew without a doubt that it was true. It was just so… So… Nonsensical! And so unlike him – to pay so little attention that he did not even notice when his own body was failing him.
And it had cost him dearly…
Kougu’s eyes flickered open – looking straight through Charlie at first, and refusing to see her. It was blatantly clear that she was not his top priority this time. His top priority…
Kougu’s eyes darted quickly over his surroundings – taking in everything he could see without moving his pain-ridden body. Then Charlie answered his question for him.
“He's gone.”
Gone…
Gone…
Gone…
Kougu heard the words as though from a distance, and they echoed around his cavernous mind while his eyes continued to search – refusing to take it in. Refusing to believe it. He could not be gone… He could not have missed his opportunity again! He refused to believe it. The man was here… Right here. Kougu had been speaking to him a second ago, so he could not possibly be gone! No. He would not believe it.
”He’s gone, and he’s taken his arm with him.”
This little spark of humour seemed to snap Kougu back to his senses, and he let his tense neck muscles relax, flopping his head back against the ground and letting his eyes slide shut for a moment, thus discontinuing his futile search for something that clearly was nowhere in sight. A quiet chuckle slid from his lips, and Kougu slowly lifted his eyelids again to gaze up at Charlie – actually meeting her gaze this time.
Those eyes. He knew them so well now… But was that a good thing? There was a reason he had isolated himself all these years – a reason that she now knew. Why on earth had he told her? As if things weren’t bad enough – he had to go and ladle a boiling spoon of crazy onto her. He could have kicked himself, but his legs were feeling stubbornly weak, and the effort simply seemed too much.
He couldn’t face her.
Not now that she knew…
Not after what he had done.
Kougu dropped his gaze, then turned his head away and stared in the opposite direction – his dark eyes boring unseeingly into the wall opposite him. He was uncomfortably aware now of the sharp corners of dirty bricks pressing into his back, and the bruises he had acquired from the fall. He relished the pain.

“Don't ask me where he went, 'cause I ain't got the foggiest.”
Charlie’s words caught Kougu’s attention, and he pushed his dismal thoughts irritably aside and looked over at her, thinking over this statement. Of course she did not know where he had gone… Nobody ever knew. Not really… But what had happened after he had fainted? He still couldn’t believe he had actually allowed himself to faint… Really! How preposterous! As if- Wait, no… That did not matter now. Refocus. What had that… that scum done to Charlie? Kougu’s eyes darted nervously over her – taking in any details he might have missed – but there was no new damage… Though the damage he had caused her, albeit mostly indirectly, was more than enough to be getting on with. That was why that man had to die… It was as much his fault as Kougu’s own.
He sighed in despondency, then turned his head away again. This mindset was troublesome. He would just be a burden to Charlie if he remained as depressed as he was at that moment. The man was gone, the past had passed, and it was time to let it go and move on.
Unless you’re too weak… Kougu taunted himself, finally managing to inspire the motivation to sit up.
He slowly eased himself up, wincing as his weight rested on his injured hand, and noting vaguely that it seemed he might have sprained his wrist from the shock of the gunshot, as well as taking the bullet. This observation pleased him slightly, and Kougu looked down at his hand to take note of the damage once again – only to find it completely bound up in Charlie’s jumper. It was a messy job, but he appreciated the gesture nonetheless. He might have bled to death if she hadn’t stopped the bleeding, and that would have been most inconvenient to him. The recent brush with his father had reminded him just how important it was that he clung to his life until that man had fallen. He would destroy everything, given the chance… And Kougu did not for one single minute doubt his power to do so. Never, never had he met a more influential person. The man could convince a lifelong cat hater to marry a kitten if he really wanted to. Though knowing him, he would come up with far more sick and twisted situations to create…
A shudder scuttled along Kougu’s spine, and as an uncomfortable prickling feeling of being watched swept over him, he decided to shift himself back toward the wall. He leaned against it, then glanced briefly at Charlie as she began speaking again, her voice seeming thoughtful, and perhaps even somewhat hesitant. "You know, the value of a murderer's life is never lessened by their actions... Apparently. Life has it's way of working itself out. After all, life is really nothing more than a single heart beat, a single breath intake and a single blink of an eye. My point is, things can seem like the end of the world at times. You could lose someone you loved the most, and you think you've lost everything. But you know, every cloud has a silver lining. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not there. Perhaps… You just need to look a little harder, instead of trying to destroy those who ruined your life. Just... enjoy and make the most of what you've got."
Lies.
He wouldn’t hear it.
“I disagree.” Kougu stated simply, his voice low and quiet. “Nobody quite understands the importance of life, until they’ve witnessed, and participated in, the ending of it.” He paused a moment, then drew in a steadying breath and followed Charlie’s gaze up to the sky – letting his dark eyes linger on the clouds drifting peacefully through the sky. “The truth is… Our innocence protects us from the truth of the world. It lets us lie to ourselves, convincing us that our sins are easily forgiven, and that our blessings are automatically deserved… The innocent can forgive and forget with ease, and convince themselves that life is without importance…” He trailed off a moment, a bitter laugh falling from his lips as he resumed speaking, “When you are the one responsible for ending life, you realise just how important it is. What if there is no afterlife, huh? Think of one person you care about… Anyone. Imagine that they are dead: gone forever. Now tell me that life is just a heartbeat… That those who destroy it deserve to be forgiven. No. No… I disagree.” He fell silent then, shaking his head and dropping his eyes back to the ground. “You’re right about one thing, though. Life always works out, so I guess the best thing to do is just to let it…” He turned to face her with a faint smile, keeping his furiously thrashing emotions in check with an effort. There was no point dumping more of his twisted logic over Charlie’s head. No point screaming and raging at her, trying to convince her that she was wrong, and that he deserved to die… That murder was unforgivable. That he wished it had been him instead.
None of that mattered. It was all in the past. A past that he had been unable to move on from until now… But Charlie had helped him. She had somehow managed to drag him out of his hole, and give him a light in the future to keep him moving through the present. Every moment he was alive, he lived knowing that she would be there the next, and that was more than enough for him. Life was everything, after all… As long as she was alive, what else could possibly matter?
Life, death… Maybe it was best not to think about them at all. Maybe there was no answer.

Satisfied by his thoughts, Kougu finally managed to let go of the furious hatred that had been bubbling within him ever since that man had appeared. A long sigh drifted from his lips, and his facial muscles finally slackened, allowing his expression to soften to how it should be. “Thanks.” He murmured quietly, meaning the word with every thread of his heart and soul. He had lost track of how often he had said that now… And how much he had meant it, every single time. Something told him that, no matter how often he said it, Charlie would never quite realise just how much she meant to him… How much he needed her. If life was everything, well… Then she was his life, he supposed – little as the thought made logical sense.
His eyes flickered to the jumper on his hand then, and a strange, unfamiliar thought crossed his mind. She had saved his life. She thought he was worth saving, then… “Baka.” Kougu murmured softly under his breath, a fond smile forming on his ashen face – tugging at lips that felt so stiff and strange he felt certain they could not remember what a smile was.
“It was either back then or now, and I knew you probably wouldn't let me when you were awake… Anyway, you're awake now, right? What would be- You know what? Never mind. You get it”
Charlie’s words grabbed Kougu’s attention, and he looked up at her, staring blankly as she spoke to him. Yup, she was probably right. “I guess I’m pretty predictable, then.” Kougu replied with a faintly amused smile, his expression sobering as he added more seriously, “I appreciate it though, really. Thank you, Charlie.”
He nodded gravely, then raised the heavily bandaged hand and stared at it, slowly turning it to take in every detail. He didn’t like the fact that Charlie had been so dangerously close to his hands… But it was done now. He was just lucky she was unhurt. Well, not quite unhurt, but- No more hurt than she’d been before, anyway.

“I-I need to go out”
The words instantly grabbed Kougu’s attention, and his head snapped up, his hand dropping limply back to his side as his eyes darted to Charlie’s face. Though he watched her intently, he could not quite meet her gaze… It was as though she was avoiding him.
“To...erm... To the insurance office. I have to get it sorted before they turn their backs on me again.”
That was all he needed to hear. Charlie was a terrible liar, and this time it was as clear as a bell.
Pain stabbed through him, and this time he could easily recognise where it struck, for his heartbeat seemed to double its tempo in response. It didn’t take a genius to work this one out.
“You have my card. And I stand by what I said. If you want that house, you need only give me a call. You don’t seem foolish enough to trust the word of a lying murderer, after all…”
His father’s works scuttled mockingly through his mind, tormenting him in impish tones. The man was as influential as ever…
So this was it?
The end of it all?
If his father had won Charlie’s trust, even this much, then his own friendship with her was as good as dead. Still… He could not believe that- No… Who the hell did he think he was?! Of course Charlie’s home came first… She needed somewhere to live, for her and her mother both. He had to remember that she was not the same as him… What was he to her? A friend? Perhaps… Or maybe he was just ‘some guy she met this one time’. But she was everything to him. And now to lose her to his father…
He couldn’t even face it.
He refused.
It was too much…
“Oh.” Kougu replied simply, his tone strangely dull, and his expression perfectly unreadable. “It makes sense, I guess…” He went on in the same dull, emotionless voice. “The insurance office did promise you, after all. They always know what to say…” He gave a bitter chuckle, then got quickly to his feet – suddenly sick of being on the ground, sick of showing weakness. There was nobody in this world he trusted enough to show his weakness to… They were all linked to that man in some way, and Kougu could not afford to give him ammunition.
He was good.
As good as he always had been… He had waltzed in, grabbed the only thing Kougu had to live for, and snatched it away – thus stealing the hope that had given him such strength, and stealing away Kougu’s only means of defeating his father…
“Make sure you read the small print.” He advised tonelessly, turning his back on Charlie.
He slowly unwrapped the jumper from around his hand, clasping it tightly in his palms for a moment before casting it aside. It fell to the ground, landing the a dull thud, just as Kougu began walking away. He didn’t blame Charlie. None of this was her fault… But regardless, Charlie was dead to him now. This girl was just another of his father’s recruits. Another of his tools. Who she was before did not matter to him. Nothing mattered to him. He had nothing left to lose now… Nothing.
So all that was left for him to do was prepare. Prepare for his final act in search of redemption, kill his father, and then pass away into hell himself. There was no point in mourning now. He had mourned enough… Charlie was dead now, and no amount of mourning would bring her back.
For now, he would leave this stranger he now stood with. He had no reason to tolerate her presence, none at all.
With grim acceptance, Kougu left the stranger where she was and walked away without a backward glance – swearing to himself that he would avenge his family. His mother, his sister, and Charlie.
Sayonara, Charlie…

(( Baka = fool. // Sayonara = Goodbye.))

((Sorry it's not got as many words, but at least I've got it finished in time... for once The ending didn't turn out as good as I'd wanted, but hopefully there's enough in there for you to think of some sort of reply ))

“Oh” The unnatural dullness in Kougu's tone brought me to a halt, and my head snapped up to see him gazing back at me, his face lacking completely of emotion; a fact which immediately told me something was up. It was completely unreadable, although it wasn't like I'd never seen his face like that before. But this time... What was that? Disappointment? Grief? Anguish? I had no idea, since nothing in his features gave me any idea of what was wrong. Had it been something I'd said? I couldn't be sure...yet. But something told me I was about to find out soon. “It makes sense, I guess… The insurance office did promise you, after all.”
I frowned at this, as it was difficult not to. Had they? Had they promised me whilst I'd had my back turned...? No. No, they hadn't. So what was he talking about? Was it a clue?
“They always know what to say.”
Something was wrong. It had to be. I had a feeling he was hinting to me something, but I couldn't quite pick it up.
He knows...
No. No, he doesn't know.
I'm not that bad a liar, am I?
No, something else was bothering him. He hadn't told me, as such, but something was definitely bothering him. Why couldn't he just look at me in the eye and tell me?
He knows...
No! No, he doesn't know. He can't know. How could he? I'd not mentioned anything about-
Wait. Had he talked to the insurance people some time when I hadn't been with him and somehow changed their minds? Was that what he was talking about? Had he forced them to change their minds? Oh god, what had he done? “Kougu?” I mumbled shakily. What was wrong with him? I watched as he scrambled quickly to his feet. “Kougu, w-whats's wrong?”
But he wasn't listening.
“Kougu.”
“Make sure you read the small print.”
I frowned. Small print? Small print... What was that supposed to mean? I didn't remember the card having any small pr-
He knows...
No... No! He can't know. He just can't...
I pulled myself to my feet, wincing slightly at the dull pain in my hips from sitting in such an uncomfortable position. My skin had gone numb from the bitterness of the frigid air, despite the sun's feeble efforts. My muscles were quivering weakly from exhaustion of the blow from Jimmy, and my head was beginning to throb sorely due to my head wound. But none of that mattered. What mattered more was the way Kougu had reacted when I'd mentioned going to the insurance office – which wasn't the insurance office, but his father. But he didn't know that, did he? I looked back at what he had said to my other comments, my speech on the meaning of life and the poor excuse for a bandage I had put on his arm.
“Nobody quite understands the importance of life, until they’ve witnessed, and participated in, the ending of it. The truth is… Our innocence protects us from the truth of the world. It lets us lie to ourselves, convincing us that our sins are easily forgiven, and that our blessings are automatically deserved… The innocent can forgive and forget with ease, and convince themselves that life is without importance… When you are the one responsible for ending life, you realise just how important it is. What if there is no afterlife, huh? Think of one person you care about… Anyone. Imagine that they are dead: gone forever. Now tell me that life is just a heartbeat… That those who destroy it deserve to be forgiven. No. No… I disagree.”
He'd turned to me, seemingly forcing back whatever other arguments had been simmering in his mind and agreed with me, for once. “You’re right about one thing, though. Life always works out, so I guess the best thing to do is just to let it…” And he'd smiled. An honest, sincere smile. “Thanks.”

But what had he been thanking me for? I had only said what I said to make him feel a little less like throwing his life away so carelessly because he'd done something wrong a long time ago. I mean, sure, he'd killed his family. But that could be forgiven... Couldn't it? The past was the past. There was no point trying to change what couldn't be changed. If the past was changeable we'd all be living lives of luxury right now.
Luxury.
Ha.
That's funny.
Like I'd get any form of luxury beyond food, water and a roof over my head.
But that was beside the point.
The point was, he could regret it all he wanted. But he'd be wasting his time. Regrets don't work; they've never worked. They only cause more, unnecessary pain, and make people ill in self loathing. As selfless as Kougu had already proven to be, he didn't need any more pain to have to put up with. I'd already witnessed him suffer far more than he deserved. I didn't care how much repulsion he felt towards himself, he didn't deserve the pain he was putting himself through.

Then what had he done? Oh yes, he'd noticed my failure of a bandage on his hand. Personally, I didn't think it was too bad, really. It had done it's job, hadn't it? I mean sure, I kind of froze in the thin t-shirt I had left on, but it was worth it. It was worth him not bleeding to death. “I guess I'm pretty predictable, then” I could remember him saying that, looking rather amused at himself. I'd thought the complete opposite, to be honest. To me, he was far from predictable. Still, it was nice to see him smiling again. “I appreciate it though, really. Thank you, Charlie.” He'd added this more seriously, although the spark in his eyes had been far more lively than they had been before his father had turned up.
His father.
The meeting...
I didn't want to go. But what choice did I have? It was either take the chance, or live without a home. I wouldn't be able to live with Kougu forever, that wouldn't be fair on him. I'd have to go, even if the odds were against me. Kougu's father had promised me the chance to get my house back, and I had to take it. Whether I liked the guy or not.

As soon as I'd mentioned going to the 'insurance office' Kougu had changed. The life in his eyes had vanished once more, and the smiled had practically been swiped from his face. Yet I still couldn't quite fathom why. It was so obvious, like it was being waved right in front of my face, yet I couldn't quite put my finger on it.
I watched uneasily as he slowly began to unwrap the jumper from his hand, unwinding the fabric to reveal a large, sickly blood stain the size of a football dangle from his good hand. What was he doing? He grasped the jumper tightly in his palm, his back turned towards me, and in a single second threw it to the ground with a quiet thud. My mouth opened to object, but it seemed my voice box had failed me, again. I couldn't think of a single word to say to him that would show the right amount of alarm that was causing my blood to run cold. My expression was daunted, my eyes were wide. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
Then he began to walk.
Away from me.
He knows...
He knows!
Oh god, he knows...
It made sense, after his reaction to my terrible lying. Of course, that explained why he was looking at me...well, the way he was looking at me. I'd pretty much told him I was about to betray him to the man he loathed with a certain passion. He hated me.
But was I supposed to go after him?
After all, there was nothing I could do to take it back. But of course, I could hardly turn down the very unlikely offer of his father. I had no choice. I was desperate. But Kougu was still walking away from me, and without a single backward glance. He wasn't going to stop.
Which was when I had to chose.
I had to chose between Kougu, or his father.
By best friend, or my entire future.

I couldn't do it.

I couldn't sit back and watch him leave me without doing something about it. Or at least trying to.
“Kougu!” I shouted, giving my jumper a brief glance before jogging on after him. “Hey, wait a minute...” I suddenly found myself panting, despite the fact I had only travelled a few paces. It was surprising what a single blow to the head could do to someone. It was probably partly to do with the fact that I'd pretty much puked up whatever food or strengthening substance I had in my system when I'd woken up. “So wait, that's it?” I fell back into a walk just as I reached his side, struggling to keep up with the pace his long legs seemed to be gliding him with. “You're just going to leave without so much as a goodbye?” I coughed, my stomach suddenly beginning to churn again at the memory and stuffed my hands miserably in my jean pockets. It made no difference to their temperature, no matter how hard I clenched them. I tensed my jaw, slumping my shoulders. I couldn't even think of what I was meant to say to him. I'd admitted my future betrayal, therefore there was no point denying it. But I had to let him know why I was doing it, in case he didn't know. He couldn't be skipping to conclusions yet. Not before he'd heard my side of the story. Inhaling a long breath, I began to speak. “What d-... What do you want from me?” I asked flatly, my eyes scanning the damp ground as it passed below my feet. “What do you expect me to do? Just tell me...” I swallowed, tears welling up in my forest green eyes. I didn't want to cry... But it seemed I didn't have a choice. I just wanted him to listen to me. Just this once. I wanted him to listen to me and understand why I was doing what I was doing.
“Tell me what I should do. Tell me... Tell me what you want. Because I don't know, I don't know why I'm here. I don't know...” I sighed, wheeling round in front of him, blocking his path. “You don't realise...” I inhaled through my nose shakily. “You don't seem to realise that... that I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask for any of this to happen to me...” I sniffed suddenly, feeling droplets of silent tears begin to roll down my cheeks. “It's j-... It's just one minute... One minute I'm being bullied by police and the next...” I gestured to the faint clouds of smoke wafting into the air from beyond the rooftops. “The next my house is being devoured by flames!” I ran my hand through my long, matted hair, brushing it away from my pale face. A bitter chuckle escaped my lips, causing salty liquid to run onto my taste buds. “I was scared, I was desperate, and I had no idea what I was doing!” My front teeth trailed to my bottom lip and they gnawed it gently. I didn't care how pathetic I was sounding. If pathetic was what it took for him to care, if I had to bawl my eyes out I would do. Although I didn't really think I had a choice on that matter.
“You're not the only one who hurts, you know.” I said suddenly. Surprised for a moment, I stared at him with large, watery eyes. “Okay, so perhaps my mother doesn't call me a robot, or makes me fall to my knees at her presence. But my life's not exactly fun and games, either. You've seen what I've lived with, Jimmy, the people on the streets, the police... No one cares about me. Not even my own family care about me. You said the only reason you live is so you can kill your father, well the only reason I live is to keep my mother alive!” I sighed, my gaze slipping away from him to a pair of dustbins opposite us. “I need that house, Kougu. For her sake. The insurance office aren't going to help us. Whether you like it or not, he is my only hope. I wouldn't go to him if there was another option. Even if the odds are against me, I have to put my faith in him to get that house rebuilt. As much as I hate him...” I sighed. He probably wasn't even listening anymore, after the way he'd just walked away from me without giving me a second glance. He probably loathed me for the fact that I was even going to his father after the way he'd treated us both, mostly him. I was kind of used to being made fun of, mostly by men. But the way he'd treated Kougu was just appalling. Even I wasn't treated as badly as the way he'd been treated back there. But I had to put that aside if I was going to do any sort of business deal with the guy.
I had no choice.
I had to go find that man before sundown.
Despite everything, I had to put my feelings aside.

For my mother's sake.