Two Batty Kids :: Me and Polo

Orion watched in amazement as Aine paced the room like a detective, rapidly puzzling out the situation. He had known that she was sharp, but this went beyond all of his expectations. Honestly, he was so impressed that he couldn't even be annoyed when she finally figured out,  "Something extremely gay happened and James got upset. Maybe you were upset too, but I'm not psychic enough to figure that part out."
She turned to look at him with a face like an eager puppy, and he chuckled despite himself.
"I've got to hand it to you," He admitted with some embarrassment, pushing his hair back from his face, "You're good. That was close enough."
He considered her thoughtfully, lips slightly pursed, as he wondered just when she had guessed that he was gay. Usually, he was pretty down good at hiding it. Either he'd slipped up somewhere, or this girl's deduction ability was truly exemplary.
He took a deep breath, then sighed heavily, and motioned Aine over with a flick of his finger. The gesture seemed almost too gay, as though he simply had too much 'gay' locked away inside him, which suddenly took the opportunity to belch its way out.
"I suppose there's no use keeping secrets now," He conceded with a sigh, "But please, Aine, keep this between us. James has suffered enough because of me, and if this gets out..." He trailed off, sighing and shaking his head. "I don't want to think about it. Please just promise me that you won't say a word. For him." His jaw tightened, and then there was silence a short while, before Orion started to talk, as though he was so tired of holding it in, he just couldn't be bothered any more.
"I don't usually have more than a couple of drinks in a night. I know my judgement fails me, and I always do something stupid that I end up regretting... I never thought I'd stoop low enough to drag James down with me, though." He scratched his face tiredly, "When all's said and done, it was just a kiss. It should mean nothing, but..." His gaze drifted to the door, where he'd watched James walk out over twenty minutes ago, "I guess it didn't. And now I feel like shit, because I know he doesn't want this any more than I do, and yet," He shruggd helplessly, "Here we are. And I don't know which would be worse; telling him that I kissed him because I was drunk enough to make out with a f*cking sheep, or telling him that I did because I do have feelings for him, except that I have no intention of actually getting into a relationship." His lip twisted into a cruel, self-loathing sneer, but he still gave no indication as to which of the options was true. It could have gone either way. What did it matter, when one would cause James just as much harm as the other.
"So there you go, Oprah," He flapped a hand dismissively at Aine, "That's the problem. Have at it, and let me know when you've got some magical fix that can make this whole shit storm disappear."

"I've got to hand it to you, you're good. That was close enough."
Aine blushed at the compliment and ducked her head. She already knew that she was good at all that stuff - which was why she was going to work for the government as a social service worker - but still, it always made her feel good to know her peers could see her talent.
Orion, however, looked more than slightly disturbed by her deduction tactics. He was usually pretty good at covering his sexuality, he thought. And that wasn't to say that he wasn't good at it. But Aine could usually tell, and the complete disinterest in the girls at the party that they had gone to so long ago had proved it. Oh sure, he could have been an asexual, but that seemed highly unlikely. She could tell what was up with him and James at the beach. A small smirk twitched the corner of her mouth up as she glanced at the man, but it immediately faded as she saw his expression. He lifted a finger and beckoned her over, and began speaking in a hushed voice, as if afraid someone would overhear.
"I suppose there's no use keeping secrets now, but please, Aine, keep this between us. James has suffered enough because of me, and if this gets out..."
Aine made the motion of zipping her lips shut and tossing the key over her shoulder, and then shot him a thumbs up. He took no notice and continued talking.
"I don't want to think about it. Please just promise me that you won't say a word. For him."
The girl nodded solemnly, taking note of how he was begging for James, and not himself. She figured that part of it was that he didn't want his secret to get out too. That was why he was still covering it up, right?
"I don't usually have more than a couple of drinks in a night. I know my judgement fails me, and I always do something stupid that I end up regretting... I never thought I'd stoop low enough to drag James down with me, though. When all's said and done, it was just a kiss. It should mean nothing, but..."
A kiss could always mean so much more than a kiss, or so much less. It could be a simple gesture of comfort or a total surrender of the heart, and probably in this case, it was the latter, at least on James's part. Maybe not a complete giving up of his entire self for Orion, but enough that it would hurt when the man woke up and was completely horrified by what he'd done. That meant James was probably feeling unworthy, or something like that. Not good enough, maybe? Hurt, because it was clear that he wanted something from Orion that he thought he might get, but wouldn't now.
She sighed as she kept thinking herself in circles and resigned to continue listening to Orion.
"Here we are. And I don't know which would be worse; telling him that I kissed him because I was drunk enough to make out with a f*cking sheep, or telling him that I did because I do have feelings for him, except that I have no intention of actually getting into a relationship."
"The first one would be worse." Aine automatically responded as her mind raced over the words. Definitely, because then James would just feel used. The second was only slightly better, but she knew that that would hurt too. Something like that had happened to her in high school, and although she was mostly over it now, it had been a bitch then and it had driven her and her friend apart. Friends with benefits - which was what it sounded like Orion was hinting at - was never a good idea.
"So there you go, Oprah. That's the problem. Have at it, and let me know when you've got some magical fix that can make this whole shit storm disappear."
Aine rolled her eyes. "I'll see what I can do, Orion. This shouldn't be too bad, I'm thinking. It could be worse, you know," she told him pointedly. "You could have slept with him, and then you'd be in a crap ton of trouble, eh?"
With a crooked grin, she stood up and walked over to the door. "I'm going to get my cleaning supplies. I'll be back in roughly thirty seven seconds to clean up this stuff, so if you're going to change clothes, do it now."
With that, the girl turned around and skipped out of the room and down the hallway back to her own. James was still in the shower, so she called through the door, "Are you okay in there?"
"No." A weak voice answered.
Aine sighed and asked, "Can I come in then?"
"No." James repeated, sounding a little livelier, if a bit nervous too.
"Then hurry up and get back to your own room." She scolded. "You're wasting all my hot water."
"Good." He muttered, but the faucet turned off all the same. She heard him pushing back the curtain and step out.
With a sigh, Aine grabbed a bucket, some rags, and the cleaning chemicals she always used, and left the room, knocking on Orion's door once more.

"I'll see what I can do, Orion." Aine answered with a roll of her eyes, "This shouldn't be too bad, I'm thinking. It could be worse, you know. You could have slept with him, and then you'd be in a crap ton of trouble, eh?"
"Hm," He nodded solemnly, "But thankfully, I'm not a total slut." His lips twisted into a bitter smirk, "Thank the lord for small favours, right?"
Ignoring his narcissism, Aine grinned, then stood up and walked to the door, telling him, "I'm going to get my cleaning supplies. I'll be back in roughly thirty seven seconds to clean up this stuff, so if you're going to change clothes, do it now."
"'Appreciate it." He grunted in response, stretching his arms over his head, then standing up and rubbing his right temple with a wince. It hurt more than the left... How odd.
Shrugging off the puzzlement, he walked over to his drawers and rummaged around until he found a clean change of clothes, then tossed them over his shoulder and headed for the bathroom. Even if Aine was coming back to clean, she could wait a little longer. He hated the stale, sweaty smell of his skin, and the terrible greasy feeling of his filthy body. It only reminded him more of the episode the night before, and he needed a shower, stench or no stench.
Wrinkling his nose at the thought, he resigned himself to breathing in particles of recycled beer for the next five minutes, then locked himself in the bathroom, and cleaned up in record time.
He emerged a short while later, looking considerably more ill than when he'd gone in, and shuddered with dramatic relief when he opened the door and left at least some of the smell behind. He was wearing a Demon Hunter band shirt, and already it was wet around the shoulders from where his soaking hair had dripped on it. The green streak in his fringe darkened considerably under the moisture, and it looked thinner, too, like a sorry little rat's tail.
Pulling a face, he rubbed his wet fringe away from his forehead to keep it from dripping into his eyes, then stomped over to his desk to sit down and wait for either James or Aine, whoever came first. He was fairly certain it would be the latter. Just then, he was thinking he would be lucky if he ever saw James again...

Although she was fairly certain that the door was still open, Aine didn't feel like barging in uninvited, especially when she heard the shower turn on. She sighed dramatically and slid to the ground across the hall, playing absently with her hands. Some passing people gave her strange looks, but she didn't notice, so lost as she was in her own world.
She did notice, however, when the water stopped running in Orion's room. She stood up and walked over, pressing her ear to the door to better judge the situation inside. The door to the bathroom opened and she heard the sound of the man walking out.
After a moment of listening to nothing, Aine opened the door and walked in to see Orion sitting on the chair, dripping wet. She made a face and said, "How could you even stand to shower in there?"
Sighing, the girl didn't wait for an answer and moved into the bathroom, letting her bucket fall to the ground with a loud clanging noise, and she quickly set to work. She thought about calling out a few comments about the condition of the bathroom, but decided not to; Orion wasn't really in the mood for friendly banter at the moment, so what was the point?
It took about twenty minutes - twenty minutes - to clean the tiny room, and when she walked out, she was sure she smelled like the contents of the man's stomach from earlier.
Pulling a face, she glided over to the door and opened it, but before stepping outside, she poked her head back in and said, "I think I'm going to drag James back here, if that's okay with you." The girl bit her lip as she pondered the situation. It had been about an hour since their fight, so they both had enough time to calm down. And the sooner James could face the situation, the better. Begin the healing process sooner and give him less time to stew over what had happened.

Orion was drying off his hair absently with a towel when Aine walked in - bucket in hand - and pulled a face at him. 
"How could you even stand to shower in there?" She asked, and he just shrugged. "The real question is, how could I not? I smelled like a brewery."
With only a sigh in response, the girl walked off into the bathroom and dropped her bucket with a loud clang that made Orion wince, groaning as he covered his ears and curled into himself like a threatened hedgehog. His head still ached, and the loud noise had been most unhelpful to his cause.
At one point he got up to help Aine - feeling bad that she had to clean up his mess - but after a couple of minutes he began to feel ill again, so he gave up and sat down before he could end up stinking up the room all over again. The damp towel rested comically atop his still-wet hair, apparently forgotten.
When Aine walked out of the bathroom and he raised his head to look at her, it slipped off and landed on his shoulders, comfortably cooling the back of his neck. Without even a word to him, she walked to the door, only stopping once she'd pulled it open.
Then she turned to him.
"I think I'm going to drag James back here, if that's okay with you." He nodded, and though he did not smile - for that was not something that he did while sober - the corners of his eyes softened slightly as he answered earnestly, "Thanks, Aine. Really."
He was not a man of many words, but he meant what he'd said. Not just for cleaning up, but also for talking - or rather, making him talk - about what had happened. He knew as well that she would do what she could to clear the air between himself and James, although in the end, he knew that that was up to him.
With a silent nod, he communicated his gratitude, then turned back to his desk, and flipped open a Chemistry book with no real intent of studying it. The foggy symbols swirling before his eyes were a welcome distraction from his thoughts, even if his aching brain could make little sense of them.

Aine nodded and strode down the hall purposefully, barging into her own room and seeing just enough of James's total nakedness to squeal and pull the door shut again, with her on the outside.
"Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" James's indignant voice came from the inside of the room.
"Hadn't you thought to stay in the bathroom?" She countered with exasperation.
There was silence from the other side of the door, and after a few moments, James told her grumpily that she could come in.
She glared at him and muttered, "Besides, this is my room. Now come on, there are some conversations that you need to have with a certain roommate."
She could see his face drop and the color rise to his cheeks. "There's nothing wrong between us, Aine. He just threw up and I needed to take a shower, so I came here. There's nothing-"
"Can it, James." She said, and he immediately shut up. "Orion told me everything. It wasn't his fault, so don't get mad at him. I'm just a very intense interrogator."
"Yeah right." James said, looking a little upset. His cheeks grew red.
"I'm not telling anyone, either, so don't worry." She muttered as she grabbed his hand and spun around, marching to the doorway. "He made me promise not to So that you wouldn't have to suffer the consequences."
"Huh?" James said, more than a little confused.
"Just come on." She said with exasperation and pulled him into the hallway, down the corridor, and to Orion's room. Without even bothering to knock, she barged in, and thankfully Orion wasn't naked.
She shot James a glare and let go of his wrist. The man rubbed it with an irritated glare at her, keeping his eyes - conveniently - on her face, and not Orion's. He knew that he'd have to face the other man at some point, but he would put it off for as long as possible, even if only for a few more seconds.
Aine turned pointedly to Orion.

Orion was still glaring at a stubbornly unbalanced chemical equation when the door swung open, and he looked up to see Aine and James framed in the doorway, his roommate looking decidedly uncomfortable, and - he was displeased to notice - looking stubbornly away from him.
His lips tightened, and though he tried not to show any sign of how much this stung, Aine cast him a knowing glance. He silently damned her for being so perceptive.
"Thanks, Aine." He said instead, a finality to his voice that clearly stated 'goodbye'. Swiftly catching the message, Aine shrugged him off and dismissed herself, leaving the two men in silence.
Orion waited. The clock on the wall ticked, and a draft from the open window flipped a few pages of the book on his desk, with a rustle like moving grass. His jaw tightened, but no matter how often the second hand passed 12, James still did not look at him, let alone speak.
At last, Orion sighed, and the silence was broken. 
"Not going to say anything?" James's silence continued.
"Okay, then will you let me talk? Please?" He asked softly, getting to his feet and approaching James with a frown that was only half to do with the hangover. His eyes searched his friend's face a moment, then - taking his silence as permission - he took a deep breath, and said, "Look, there's nothing I can say to excuse what I did last night. Even if I was drunk, I should never have... Pushed you like that." He paused a moment, rubbing the side of his face as he looked at the ground; green eyes clouded and troubled.
"I've spent a long time thinking about what I should say to you, and how to make this right. I tried hard to figure out what lie I could tell you that you'd be happiest to hear, and that might make all of this go away." He snorted in amusement under his breath, "In the end, that proved pretty much hopeless, so I've decided to try something else entirely." His eyes met James's, shocking in their intensity, "I've decided to tell you the truth."
For a long moment, the silence stretched out again, allowing for the ticking clock to once again echo loudly across the room. Orion made a mental note to rip out its battery the first chance he got.
Then, slowly, his green eyes turned away, falling to a distant spot on the opposite wall, and seemingly looking right through it.
"The easiest would be to tell you that it was a drunken accident and that it didn't mean a thing to me, but that isn't true. I could also tell you that I did it because I want to be with you, but that would be equally dishonest. The truth is, I don't totally understand what possessed me to kiss you. As far as I knew, that was the last thing I wanted. That's not to say I'm not attracted to you," He winced, and shrugged apologetically, pulling a helpless face, "Sorry, but no matter how you look at it, you're pretty damn cute. I can't help thinking it, but honest to God, I never thought of acting on it. You've become a dear friend to me, and a bigger part of my life than I ever intended. As my friend," He placed a hand over his heart, "I care about you deeply, and I feel like absolute shit for messing that up." His lips twisted in displeasure, but he shook off the frustration with a shake of his head. There was a time and a place. Right then was neither.
"But the truth is, I do like you more than I should." His cheeks flushed a deep shade of crimson, but aside from that and the stressed twisting of his hands, he showed no indication of his embarrassment, "It's kinda embarrassing to admit, but, since I've come this far..." He winced, scratching his stubbled chin awkwardly, "Well, if things were different, I think that I would want to be with you. I doubt that you feel the same way, but if you did, even for a moment, then I hope you can take solace from that. Or at least a bit of flattery." He punctuated his dry humour with the shadow of a smirk, then hesitated again for a moment, clearly stalling, as though he wasn't quite willing to say what he felt he had to.
"It's no reflection on you..." He mumbled at last, gaze dropping sadly to the ground, "But as I said to you before, I'm not willing to be in any sort of relationship any more. I don't want to talk about what happened with Luke, but," He closed his eyes, brow creasing with an emotion that his deep voice could barely hide, "I care about you too much to risk the same thing happening again. I won't be the reason that your life goes to shit." Swallowing thickly, he closed his shaking hands into fists at his sides, "So if you want nothing to do with me from now on, then that's fine with me. I'll understand. Now..." He took a deep breath, and released it shakily, "I'm about done baring my soul, so I'll leave you to think about that." He snatched his keys from the desk, tossed them up once, and caught them with a soft jingle, then strode toward the door, trying hard not to show any hint of emotion.
"I'm taking a drive. And don't worry, I won't crash."

When Aine left, James chose to stare at the floor instead of at Orion. With all of the emotions tumbling about inside of him, he couldn't trust himself not to completely lose it all if he looked into his roommate's eyes. If that meant Orion thought he was mad, then so be it. Anger was better than this sadness and confusion that was troubling him so much. Anger could be gotten over in a few days. If Orion knew how much that this 'not being together' thing would hurt, he might always wonder whether or not James was over it, and that would just complicate things needlessly. No, anger would be the preferred emotion here.
The minutes ticked by until Orion finally said, "Not going to say anything? Okay, then will you let me talk? Please?"
The blonde nodded quietly, his wet hair falling damply over his brow. Orion got up and walked over towards him, causing James to tense up a little. He squeezed his fists tightly and felt his nails biting into the skin of his palms. His right wrist ached faintly, another depression reminder of the morning.
"Look, there's nothing I can say to excuse what I did last night. Even if I was drunk, I should never have... Pushed you like that."
Pushed him like that? Oh yeah, the kiss. It was hard to believe that he had been so reluctant to kiss the other man. It had seemed so right in that moment, even if he had kissed another man. Now he wasn't sure how he felt about that, but the man gave him no time to think about it.
"I've spent a long time thinking about what I should say to you, and how to make this right. I tried hard to figure out what lie I could tell you that you'd be happiest to hear, and that might make all of this go away. In the end, that proved pretty much hopeless, so I've decided to try something else entirely. I've decided to tell you the truth."
It was nice to know that Orion cared enough to think about the situation as much as he had, but the relief of that was swallowed by the immense feeling of disappointment. A lie would make it better, so that meant the truth would make it worse. The truth would hurt. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and then opened them again, gaze fixed firmly on the ground once again, cursing himself for wanting to cry. He had always teared up at even the smallest of things, and it was usually embarrassing, but this was just mortifying. He wanted to run out of the room.
"The easiest would be to tell you that it was a drunken accident and that it didn't mean a thing to me, but that isn't true."
James very nearly almost shot his head up at that, but at the last moment remembered to maintain his dignity. The thumping in his chest intensified.
"I could also tell you that I did it because I want to be with you, but that would be equally dishonest.
Well, the thought had been nice while it lasted. James slowly moved his eyes to the window.
"The truth is, I don't totally understand what possessed me to kiss you. As far as I knew, that was the last thing I wanted. That's not to say I'm not attracted to you. Sorry, but no matter how you look at it, you're pretty damn cute. I can't help thinking it, but honest to God, I never thought of acting on it."
James didn't know whether to be flattered or upset - honestly, he was a little bit of both at the moment. It was always nice to be found attractive, but still...
You've become a dear friend to me, and a bigger part of my life than I ever intended. As my friend, I care about you deeply, and I feel like absolute shit for messing that up."
James didn't know why Orion thought that he had messed up. Maybe he thought that it was wrong of him to get James to come to terms with himself? To figure out who he was? Because although James would have rather gone on living his life thinking that he was straight, he knew he owed his friend a butt-ton ((stop with the innuendos, Jem)). And Orion was right, he had made their friendship more complicated, but not in the way he thought. He thought that James would just be completely disgusted and want nothing more to do with Orion; on the contrary, the blonde wanted more now. And he wasn't sure how to bring that up.
"But the truth is, I do like you more than I should."
Well fuck.
"It's kinda embarrassing to admit, but, since I've come this far... Well, if things were different, I think that I would want to be with you. I doubt that you feel the same way, but if you did, even for a moment, then I hope you can take solace from that. Or at least a bit of flattery."
Oh, he was so wrong, James thought. So wrong. The words bounced painfully around his skull. If things were different. Luke. Right. At least he could take the flattery from it...
"It's no reflection on you... But as I said to you before, I'm not willing to be in any sort of relationship any more. I don't want to talk about what happened with Luke, but I care about you too much to risk the same thing happening again. I won't be the reason that your life goes to shit."
To risk the same thing? What had happened that would happen again? James had supposed that Luke's death had been his own problem. He had been depressed, and something had happened to make him jump. The usual suicide thing. But the way Orion described it, it sounded like something more, like something had happened and maybe it wasn't all Luke's decision.
"So if you want nothing to do with me from now on, then that's fine with me. I'll understand. Now... I'm about done baring my soul, so I'll leave you to think about that."
You can't leave, he thought. Not now, not after all this, don't just leave me here to think over everything you just told me. He needed a distraction; if he sat here and thought about everything he had just been told, he would drive himself crazy.
"I'm taking a drive. And don't worry, I won't crash."
James stepped over to the side to block the doorway, his eyes rising to meet Orion's. "You're not just going to run out on me like that, are you?" He said, his voice quiet and strangely calm. "You're not that scared of what I'll say, right?"
His eyes flicked down to the ground as he gathered his courage. "I'm not upset with you. Orion. I'm actually a little thankful - for everything, not just last night. I now know that... well, I like guys. And no matter how much I really want to deny that, I know I can't. Because..." He swallowed nervously. "Well, I kind of liked that kiss. It was nice. Better than the one girl I kissed." A small smile touched his lips, and he was quiet for a little bit.
"I am flattered, too. And I'm not creeped out by your strong affection for me as well." He chuckled. "I'm not mad at you, and I don't think anything's changing. We can just pretend like it didn't happen, if that's what you want." The smile on his face when he looked up at his roommate hurt his cheeks. He could feel a wetness trickling down his palms, and a sharp pain in the skin. He was probably bleeding.

Keys in hand, Orion grabbed a jacket from on top of the chair and was about to walk out the door - unaware that he still had a damp towel around his neck - when James suddenly stepped out in front of him, surprising him enough to make him miss a step and drop his keys. The other man's eyes met his. He did not bend down to pick them up.
"You're not just going to run out on me like that, are you?"
"Huh?" Orion blinked at James in open shock, as surprised by the fact that James had stopped him as he was by the calm tone of his voice. He swallowed as his beating heart rose to lodge itself in his throat. "I- I thought-"
"You're not that scared of what I'll say, right?"
"I-" Orion started responding, then stopped, looking down sheepishly. He hadn't realized it until that moment, but James was right. He wasn't leaving to give his friend 'space'. That was a load of crap he'd told himself so he wouldn't feel like such a coward. The truth was, he was scared. So scared, he'd not even given James a chance to answer.
Good lord, I'm pathetic.

Slowly, he chanced a glance upwards, only to realize that James had looked down as well.
"I'm not upset with you, Orion." His soft voice said, stunning Orion speechless, "I'm actually a little thankful - for everything, not just last night. I now know that... well, I like guys. And no matter how much I really want to deny that, I know I can't. Because..." He hesitated, and Orion could sense his nervousness as he admitted, "Well, I kind of liked that kiss. It was nice. Better than the one girl I kissed."
In the silence that followed, Orion's frown only deepened. He was touched that James would think to thank him, and that only made him feel worse still, knowing that it had not been his place to meddle in the first place. He swallowed again, telling himself that he was imagining the tightness in his throat. He was not so emotional.
"I am flattered, too." James went on after a pause, his soft voice once again grabbing Orion's full attention, "And I'm not creeped out by your strong affection for me as well. I'm not mad at you, and I don't think anything's changing. We can just pretend like it didn't happen, if that's what you want." Orion drew in a deep breath, hardly able to believe what he'd just heard. Just like that, he was forgiven? Just like that, everything was going to be okay? His lips tightened, and when James looked up at him, the smile on the boy's face damn near broke his heart.
In an instant, Orion's brow creased. With a shake of his head, he swooped forwards wordlessly, and wrapped James in a warm embrace, his hand running reassuringly over the boy's tense back.
"That's bullshit," He whispered, squeezing him tighter, "And you know it. Don't give me that fake smile when I can see how much you're hurting." His jaw clenched, and then so did his fist, fingers closing firmly around a handful of James's shirt. He could feel the boy's heart racing from behind his shirt, and it plucked at his own heartstrings something awful. From the moment they'd met, he'd nurtured a secret soft spot for James. Now that he knew -for he did know - that James had grown to have feelings for him too, the idea of doing what he thought he knew was right had become even harder.
He didn't want to see that smile on James's face ever again. Never again did he want to see his best friend stuffing down his own pain just to spare his feelings. No... They were in too deep now to turn around and act as if nothing had happened, and they both knew it. Whatever choice he made from here, Orion knew that he had to make it properly, and that meant showing James exactly what it was that stood between him and starting a relationship, with James or any other.
"Come." He said firmly, pulling back just enough to take hold of James's wrist, and urge him gently toward the door. "Come with me." He swooped down and picked up his keys, "There's something I want to show you; or tell you... But not here." He shook his head, and looked back at James. His thoughts were such a mess, he didn't have a clue how to give voice to them. All he knew was that he needed some fresh air, and some time with his thoughts. Fresh air, time, and James.
With that, he walked out the door, heading toward his bike, waiting patiently in the parking lot. As he stepped out into the hall, he stopped, turning back to see if James was following. There was a pained fondness in his gaze when he looked at his friend, showing in a strange, pitying frown that he couldn't quite hide from his face.

James knew immediately that he hadn't fooled anyone. The smile had been too much, that gave it away. Orion stepped forward and hugged him tight hug. That was even worse; he didn't want Orion's pity. However, the embrace felt too nice to squirm away from, and when the other man pulled away, he was left feeling a little cold.
"Come. Come with me. There's something I want to show you; or tell you... But not here."
His hand trailed tantalizingly down James's arm and over his wrist - his left wrist, thankfully. James didn't want Orion to know that he was injured again. He didn't really register that, though, so lost as he was in the way Orion walked out the door, turning around at the end of the hall to see if James would follow. His face was a mixture of sadness and pity, and pity was something that James could not stand for. It was embarrassing and made him feel small and unworthy and it was just not something he wanted to see on anyone's face, especially on Orion's when he was looking at James.
But he followed the man all the same, all the way out to his bike in the parking lot, carefully avoiding any indication that they had... done the gay the night before. No rumors could start about them now. Thankfully the lounge of the dorm was deserted, except for one chair. An orange haired girl sat in the corner, watching the two with a serious face, but a small smile playing on her lips. James rolled his eyes at Aine as he walked past, and finally the two got to the bike. He didn't really want to get on - after all, motorcycles were dangerous, but he would if that was what Orion wanted.

Orion had the good sense to throw down the damp towel still wrapped around his neck before he left, and then he and James made their way out to his bike. They passed Aine in the lounge, and Orion nodded briefly to her, but otherwise, he showed no reaction.
Out in the parking lot, he showed James the way to his bike, then picked up his helmet and shoved it onto his friend's head. It was a little big, but it would do. Wordlessly tightening the strap, Orion patted the helmet loudly, then flashed James what might almost have been a smile, had his lips moved more than an inch.
"Don't worry." He said as he mounted the bike, waiting for James to climb on behind him, "I'm a good driver, and I won't be reckless."
He shoved the keys into the ignition, and as he turned them, the Honda's engine roared into life, then dulled to a soft purr, trundling softly as it awaited his command.
"Hold on." He said to James over his shoulder, raising his voice a little to be heard above the engine. When his friend obeyed, he revved it once, then kicked up the kick stand and sent the bike cruising out of the parking lot.
True to his word, he drove safely and sensibly, with none of his usual speeding or the reckless stunts that went along with it. Aside from overtaking a few frustratingly slow drivers, he just stayed in his lane and obeyed the rules of the road, leaning carefully into every turn. The wind rushing through his hair freshened his stale thoughts, and he felt his mood rapidly lifting as they sped on toward their destination.
After a while, they began edging away from the heart of the city, and soon enough then came upon an open stretch of road. With a shouted warning to James, he cranked the bike up a gear, and turned the magnificent beast loose upon the cracked tarmac. The wind whipped by faster, chilling his cheeks, and though he longed to open her up, Orion reminded himself to exercise restraint, and kept the speedometer firmly under 140.
As they traveled along the road, the tarmac grew steadily more cracked, until at last Orion slowed down and - with the flick of an indicator - turned into a dingy side street. Here and there were dotted a few ramshackle houses, but Orion drove on past them until he reached the end of the cul-de-sac. There, he stopped. To their right was a large grey building - unsettlingly rectangular in shape, and with two storeys hidden behind its dull cement bricks. It had never been painted, and there with cracks in the outer walls, and in most of the windows. Those that weren't cracked were missing; the gaps left behind so tiny that they looked like windows to a prison cell. There was a barbed wire fence around the place, and by the entrance, a faded sign reading 'Mayview Orphanage'. He cast it a glance, then turned off his bike, kicked down the stand, and waited for James to dismount. Once he had, Orion followed suit. They could not have been more than ten minutes drive from the beach they'd visited before, but this place was clearly on the darker side of town, which made it feel further. There was a park to their left, but with the graffiti on the slide and the paint peeling off the swing-less swing set, it looked more like something from a ghost movie than an actual children's play place.
Orion stared around in silence a long while, then said quietly, turning to James, "This is where I grew up." He shoved his keys into his pocket, then nodded to the park, and together they began walking, passing a sleeping hobo by the bench to whom Orion paid no mind, and then continuing on up the hill under an overcast sky. The grass was long and reedy, and it came almost up to his knees in places, but he seemed hardly to notice it. He needed to walk. Talking, he found, was easier without the claustrophobia of standing still.
"I'm not sure why I brought you here." He convinced as he trudged on, hands shoved deep into his pockets, "I suppose it's because I want you to... To try to understand why I don't want to be with you," The words lodged painfully in his throat. He swallowed, shaking his head, and amended, "Can't be with you." He stopped walking, turning his eyes down on the orphanage at the bottom of the hill. "I though that maybe if you saw where I came from, you'd understand better why I am the way I am now. Well, not just from seeing it," He uttered a subdued chuckle, "I've got a story to tell you. Let's sit." He gestured to a bench beside them. It was missing half a plank, but other than that, it was intact, and strong enough to hold a couple of college boys, in any case.
With a deep breath, Orion looked down at the place that had once been his only poor substitute for a home, and then began to tell his story.

"I never knew my parents. I was here from the very start, abandoned and unwanted. It bothered me at the start, not knowing where I'd come from, or why I wasn't good enough to stay. It's a natural thing, I guess, for a kid to want to know his parents. They left me with a name, and that was it. No photograph, no note... Just an identity, to do with as I pleased. I was shy at first, and got picked on by the other kids. Back then, I couldn't understand why. Later on, it became pretty obvious to me why they'd be beating on the kid who sat drawing rainbows and playing with dolls." He snorted, "I was pretty darn gay from the start, and since the whole damn place was crawling with scripture, I suppose that made me some kind of devil to them. I was a threat to their way of living, so they did what homophobes do, and they tried to destroy me. For the most part, they were harmless pranks. A beating here or there, dolls' heads in my bed, that sort of crap. Then, one day, it got really bad. I was minding my own business, probably drawing a f*cking rainbow or some shit, and some of the older kids came up behind me and grabbed me. They carried me to the cupboard in the corner of our dorm, and threw me in, locking me inside. I guess they thought it was funny, since I was scared of the dark. And of course, that made it even funnier when they started playing with a box of matches and an old gas lighter they'd found. They were giving me 'the gift of light', or some shit." He made sarcastic quotation marks with his fingers, then scoffed and rolled his eyes, adjusting his position on the bench.
"You can guess what happened next. They started throwing matches in, and soon enough, one of the coats started to burn. I screamed, cried, begged them to let me out." His lips tightened, the emotion of the memories showing in his face despite his best effort to hide it, "But they got spooked by what they'd done. They saw the smoke, saw the fire, and thought they'd get into trouble. So they ran. F*cking cowards, the lot of them." His fists clenched, and despite himself, his voice began to tremble. "The fire spread, and I bashed on the door until my hands were bleeding. I screamed even after my lunged ached from the smoke, and then I screamed some more, but nobody came. I got burnt," He rolled up his left sleeve, showing a nasty scar stretching from his bicep to his forearm, "Then, just when I thought I was going to burn to death, I heard footsteps, and the door was flung open. That was when I met Luke. From the moment I met him until the moment he- the moment we said goodbye, he was always saving me. I don't know how he pulled me out of there. He was two years older than me, but since I was only six..." He shrugged, "Well, he always was remarkable, in his own way. Somehow he got me out, then ran for help. My memories after that are jumbled. I think I spent some time in the hospital for the burns, but the biggest damage was probably the fear. To this day, I'm terrified of enclosed spaces... And fire. That's one of the main reasons I got myself a bike. Being in a car makes me sick to my stomach." Orion shuddered at the thought, and paused for a while, watching as a lonely butterfly - a Cabbage White, it was called, if he remembered correctly - settled on a weed. It flapped its wings twice, then flew on again, and Orion's gaze dropped down to the grim, grey building at the base of the hill.
"Anyway, at some point I recovered enough to go back... Oh, let's call it 'home'. And then, just like that, Luke and I were friends. It wasn't a decision that either of us made; it just sort of happened, and once it did, it made all the sense in the world. We were inseparable from that moment on. If the other kids didn't like it, then they didn't say anything. At least at first. They lost their nerve, I think, after the fire. Needless to say, they got in some shit for that. But, unfortunately, a caning only hurts for so long, and after a while, they began to hassle us again. Both of us, this time. I lost track of the number of times I ended up in tears from the teasing; I was such a soft kid... But every time, Luke would wipe away my tears, crack a bad joke, and then we'd laugh and everything would be okay again. At first, we talked a lot about how we wanted to be adopted. To find families of our own and all that... But after we turned twelve, and we started to fall in love - in our own, immature way - that didn't seem to matter any more. Nothing mattered, because we had each other, and that was enough. Every time a family came, we'd run to the roof." He pointed, showing James the place, "And we'd hide there until they left, because neither of us wanted to go and leave the other behind. We used to sneak out all the time, and even if we got caned so hard that we could barely sit for a week, it was worth it. We lived in hell, and yet, we were happy." He shook his head, "It boggles my mind to think of it now, but there's no doubt about it. I was completely and totally happy. But of course, the other kids hated that. When they realized what was happening between Luke and me, things started getting bad again. They'd taunt and beat us, and every time we sat dressing each other's wounds, Luke would tell me that it wasn't my fault. I don't know how he knew I was thinking it; he always just knew me, I guess. And I'd break down and I'd cry, but in the end I'd believe him, and we'd keep going on like we did before. I got stronger as I got older - tougher too - and eventually, I found I was able to defend myself, and Luke too. That pissed off the rest of them even more, knowing that their target was no longer a target." His lips twisted bitterly, "So they stopped their teasing, and at first, I thought I'd won. It was my sixteenth year at the orphanage - Luke's eighteenth, I guess - and for a couple of months, they left us entirely alone. Then, in December, we took our annual field trip to the beach." Orion's voice hitched on the word, and he stopped for a while, closing his eyes and letting the cool wind ruffle his hair as he slowly regained his composure. Once he was sure his voice was steady, he opened his mouth hesitantly, and continued his tale.
"Everywhere we went, Luke and I had our favourite spots - usually somewhere high up and isolated. Luke said it made him feel free; looking down on the world, and thinking that maybe some day - after he left the orphanage - he'd be able to explore it all." Orion's voice shuddered, so he cleared his throat, and continued stiffly, "At the beach, that cliff was our spot. We went up there, staring out over the ocean. We got so caught up in talking, we didn't even keep track of where the others were. Before they reached us, Luke kissed me and told me that he loved me. It was the first time he'd said it out loud, in those words exactly."

Again, silence stretched between them. But this time, Orion did not let it linger. "They saw us, seven of them, and while the adults smoked and drank down the other end of the beach, they were on us like wolves. Two of them grabbed Luke, held him still, while the other five kept me away from him, trying to beat me, to teach me some sort of 'lesson'. They claimed that they were 'saving' us, but I don't think even they believed that. They came at me from all sides. I think I broke somebody's nose and winded another, but then two of them grabbed my arms, and a third punched me hard in the stomach. Then they started to beat me in earnest. They threw me down, kicking at my ribs, and from somewhere nearby, I could hear Luke screaming, 'Stop, you're killing him!'. One of them picked up a rock, and then somehow, Luke got free. He ran over to me, but the leader of the group - I think his name was Bruce, or Brian or something - before Luke could reach me, he shoved him hard. Pushed him aside. We were on the edge of the cliff, and Luke lost his balance." Orion's throat tightened. "That moment seemed to last an eternity. I tried to get to my feet, but my body suddenly felt slow and heavy. At last I found my feet, and ran to him just as he started to fall. I reached out to him," He held out a hand, miming a grabbing gesture, "But it was too late. Our fingertips brushed, and he smiled at me, and then, just like that, he was gone. I watched him fall, because I couldn't look away. There were so many rocks at the bottom, He couldn't miss them. When he landed, he broke like a piece of dropped china, yet even though I'd seen it happen, I couldn't stop trying to reach him. I don't even remember how I got down there, just that I did. When I found him, it had started to rain. There was blood everywhere." His throat tightened, voice trembling even through the numbness, "I just held him, and screamed, and screamed, and screamed... At last, they dragged me away, still screaming. I was lucky the grief drove me so mad." His jaw tightened bitterly, "The police put it down to insanity or something, then slammed me into a detention center for a couple of months. Frankly, I think they were just too damn lazy to care, knowing that Luke had nobody, no family, to stand up and make a scene. By the time I got out, they'd had the funeral already, if they even had one. I put up the cross on the cliff myself, and... That was it." His gaze dropped sorrowfully to the ground. "So, you see, it's my fault that he's dead." The words sounded dull and numb, as though he'd repeated them so often in his mind, they'd lost all meaning through rehearsal. "If it wasn't for me, they would never have picked on him in the first place, and if it wasn't for me, they wouldn't have pushed him in the end. It was all so cruel, so brutal, and yet... Because we were gay, just because our love was different from theirs, they believed that they could justify their cruelty. And that kind of thinking," His jaw tightened miserably, "It never ends. Which is why, whether I want to or not, I can't ever let myself fall for you." He began picking absently at a splinter on the bench, stabbing the soft skin under his fingernail until it bled, "Because the world is cruel to people like me, like us, and if I have to watch you endure that cruelty knowing that it's because of me that you have to, well-" He shook his head, brow furrowing, and tried desperately not to let himself break. "Honestly, I think it would break me. Even now, this... This is the first time I've been able to tell this story."

Slowly, tiredly, Orion sighed, then rubbed his face, and looked at Luke. "Do you understand?" He asked wearily, "Why I say that it's impossible for us to be together? The way I see it," He closed his eyes, and shook his head, "It would be like painting a target on your back. How could I do that to my best friend, no matter how much I like him?"

James couldn’t help but smile a little when Orion slapped the helmet onto his head. What a good friend, looking out for him like that. After a moment of hesitation, he climbed onto the bike behind his friend, awkwardly placing his hands on the man’s hips. This was usually the girl’s position, he realized with a frown. When Orion began to speed off, however, he slid his arms completely around the man’s waist, squeezing him probably too tightly, all in an effort not to fall off. He didn’t even have enough mental capacity to register how gay he was being right then, due to the sheer amount of panic he was feeling.
He was going to be sick.
Thankfully, just in the nick of time, Orion pulled over down a dirty little side street, almost as if he knew that James needed to throw up. Why else would they go to such a crappy place?
The blonde got off the vehicle, knees wobbling, and bent over, breathing deeply with his head between his knees. Orion didn’t notice, which James supposed was a good thing.
“This is where I grew up.” Orion said quietly. James looked up, vision still faintly clouded with stars, and observed a sign that said ‘Mayview Orphanage’.
This isn’t an orphanage, he thought to himself. This is a hellhole.
The place was deserted, littered with garbage and graffiti, the kind of setting that James always saw in horror movies and never wanted to associate himself with. Already, he could see a door swinging open, and a little girl with blood covering her face walking out and-
“I’m not sure why I brought you here.”
Orion’s voice was a small distance away, James noticed with a start as he glanced upward to see the man’s retreating figure. Quickly, he jogged to catch up with him, still on the lookout for creepy children with knives.
"I suppose it's because I want you to... To try to understand why I don't want to be with you," Well, that hurt. James was taken aback by that. When had he wanted to actually be with Orion? Maybe it was a gay thing. "Can't be with you. I thought that maybe if you saw where I came from, you'd understand better why I am the way I am now. Well, not just from seeing it,"
He started to begin saying how being from an orphanage wouldn’t change anything and that he wasn’t that much of a prejudiced bastard, but Orion didn’t give him the chance.
"I've got a story to tell you. Let's sit."
The two men seated themselves on a rickety bench with peeling paint and a missing board. It groaned under their combined weight, but didn’t crack. James had to give it credit for being such a sturdy old thing. He wished he could be half as resilient as it, in a strange sort of way.
He listened as Orion delved into the story of his youth, how he grew up in a very religious orphanage as an outsider, a weirdo who enjoyed playing with dolls instead of action figures, and drew rainbows instead of dinosaurs. How others treated him differently because of it. Even the adults, who should have been caring and supportive. When the man got to the part about the closet and the fire, James tensed up, and his palms screamed in protest. He didn’t take notice of it, so caught up as he was in his friend’s past. It was difficult to just sit there and listen, to keep calm and not lean in and hug Orion and offer whatever comfort he could, because in all honesty there was no comfort he could offer. Nothing could ever change the past or make it better – something that Orion had very specifically told him last night.
Except you. He said that meeting you made it better.
He pushed away the thought with irritation. Now is not the time, he argued back to the voice that liked to think he and Orion were soul mates.
Then Luke made his entrance in the story; James refocused at the name, and listened intently as Orion began talking about how the older boy had saved his life, and how the two of them became the best of friends after that. He wasn’t certain, but he thought he saw a little bit of happiness in those sad green eyes when he talked about the earlier days, when he and Luke began to fall in love.
There was another pang somewhere deep in his chest, and the urge to hug to man was almost overpowering.
But when Orion began talking about a trip to the beach, James instinctively knew that that was the fateful event that had led to Luke’s jump. Suddenly he didn’t want to listen anymore. If it had been a book ((or an RP)) he could have stopped reading for a little bit, cried some ((or a lot)), composed himself ((or not)), and picked up where he had left off when he was ready ((or not.)) But unfortunately, real life did not have a pause button, and he couldn’t bear the idea of stopping Orion when he was just finally beginning to open up. So he listened with a heavy feeling in his chest.
"At the beach, that cliff was our spot. We went up there, staring out over the ocean. We got so caught up in talking, we didn't even keep track of where the others were. Before they reached us, Luke kissed me and told me that he loved me. It was the first time he'd said it out loud, in those words exactly."
All traces of happiness were gone, and James was acutely aware of the pain building in both Orion’s eyes and voice, and of the pain growing in his heart. Stop, he wanted to say. I don’t want to hear the rest of the story. But he needed to, and he knew that. Again, he kept his silence.
And his heart shattered into what seemed a million pieces as Orion recounted the tale of Luke’s final moments, of the beating, or the push, of that last brush of skin and the final smile. The worst part was the broken body lying across the rocks; that had done James in, and he began to feel sick all over again, just as he had recovered from the motorcycle ride.
"If it wasn't for me, they would never have picked on him in the first place, and if it wasn't for me, they wouldn't have pushed him in the end. It was all so cruel, so brutal, and yet... Because we were gay, just because our love was different from theirs, they believed that they could justify their cruelty. And that kind of thinking… It never ends. Which is why, whether I want to or not, I can't ever let myself fall for you."
James was about to argue back and say that his childhood didn’t have to define his entire existence, but Orion wasn’t done talking.
"Because the world is cruel to people like me, like us, and if I have to watch you endure that cruelty knowing that it's because of me that you have to, well- Honestly, I think it would break me. Even now, this... This is the first time I've been able to tell this story."
James swallowed and let his eyes wander over the ground as he digested everything he had just heard. Orion was blaming himself for his friend’s death – and it wasn’t a suicide like he’d thought. He had been killed. Manslaughter, of course, which was slightly better than murder, but still. Given enough time, those boys would have surely killed him with the intention to do just that – not because of an accident.
But Orion… How was he living with himself? James knew that if he had been in that situation with Carson, he wouldn’t have been that strong. He probably would have thrown himself off the cliff when he was there putting the cross in the ground.
"Do you understand? Why I say that it's impossible for us to be together? The way I see it, it would be like painting a target on your back. How could I do that to my best friend, no matter how much I like him?"
James nodded in understand, feeling that that was exactly what his friend needed at the moment. Someone to agree with him and not argue. So he wouldn’t overstate how much that it wasn’t Orion’s fault, because that would just increase the guilt complex even more. Just focus on the good things.
But what good things were there?
None.
The silence stretched on for some time before James finally spoke up. “I understand, and that’s okay. I didn’t mean for you to have to tell me if you didn’t want to. I hope you know that I didn’t mean to push you.” The last part was paraphrased from Orion’s own words about the kiss.
“And I also want you to know… That you’re a very strong person.” He swallowed nervously. Complimenting people didn’t come easily to him, even if he had kissed the night before.
Especially if he had kissed them the night before.
“I know you think that you caused his death – which you didn’t, but that’s a conversation for another day, I’m thinking – and that is a lot of guilt to live with. And I know that this probably sounds really corny, but I’m proud of you for making it this far.” His eyes flickered up from the ground to meet Orion’s. He was quiet for a moment before adding, “And thank you for sharing that with me. I feel… honored. If that’s the right word.”

Orion looked at James to see him nod, and accepted it with a brief inclination of his own head. Then, by unspoken agreement, they both fell silent. Orion stared down at the orphanage with a distant look in his eyes. He could still see himself and Luke sitting there on the edge, legs hanging over, laughing as if they hadn't a care in the world. They would just sit for hours, talking about futures that, in the end, neither of them would get the chance to live. Luke's was gone, and his was stagnant.
He sighed heavily, then propped his knees on his hands to get to his feet. Just as he was about to, a voice spoke up beside him and he stopped, sliding slowly back down to listen. 
“I understand, and that’s okay." James told him softly, "I didn’t mean for you to have to tell me if you didn’t want to. I hope you know that I didn’t mean to push you.”
"No," He shook his head, voice deep and husky from emotion, yet steady despite it all, "I wanted to tell you. I needed you to know this."
He looked at James, and fell silent to listen again as he went on, “And I also want you to know… That you’re a very strong person. I know you think that you caused his death – which you didn’t, but that’s a conversation for another day, I’m thinking – and that is a lot of guilt to live with. And I know that this probably sounds really corny, but I’m proud of you for making it this far.”
Orion sat up a little straighter, his eyes opening a little wider in disbelief, and shoulders sagging down. He didn't think James had ever complimented him before, and although he told himself that his friend's approval shouldn't mean quite so much to him, it was hopeless. He was touched - deeply touched - by what James had said. It comforted him in a way he'd not realised he needed, and as his tight lower lip began to twitch, he didn't feel quite so strong any more.
Don't cry. He warned himself fiercely, Don't you f*cking do it!
He clenched his jaw, then took a deep breath, and blinked quickly, trying to clear his glassy gaze.
Suddenly, James looked up at him. Their eyes met, and Orion froze instantly, trapped as surely as if he was chained.
“And thank you for sharing that with me." His friend told him sincerely, "I feel… honored. If that’s the right word.”
He uttered a breath that might have been a laugh, then shook his head, still struggling with the growing lump in his throat. "'Honoured?'" He repeated incredulously, "James, please don't thank me. I'm the one who's honoured to have you listen. You're just the poor bastard who has to put up with me." He glanced over, and his grim face flickered to show a small, sad smile. 
"I appreciate it. I've had this weighing down on me for a long time, and talking about it at last," A sharp breath escaped his lips, "It's such a relief." His eyes started tingling again, and he blinked quickly, frustrated by his body's threats. He was not going to break down now. Not a chance.
But even as he said it, he could feel a squeeze in his heart, and a sense of relief so intense that it hurt. He looked at James, and he ached with fondness for the boy who, at long last, had begun to lead him through the dark. The emotion was so utterly overwhelming that, after a moment, all of his reasoning seemed pointless by comparison.
He'd once heard the saying 'Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all', but he had never really agreed with that. He supposed it depended on the degree of the loss, for most. Now, however...

"James?" Orion spoke his name softly, uncertainly, and reached out to place a hand on his shoulder. His green eyes flickered over his friend's face, conflicted and uncertain. "I'm scared, but... I- I Think I'd like to give myself a second chance to do things right." His hand tightened, and he turned on the bench so he was facing James, eyes blazing with intensity. "I'd like you to be that chance." A long moment of silence spread between them, then a shudder passed through Orion, and he asked with a voice trembling from a thousand conflicting emotions, "What do you say?"

"'Honored?' James, please don't thank me. I'm the one who's honored to have you listen. You're just the poor bastard who has to put up with me." Orion let out a snort as James opened his mouth to protest that that really wasn't the case, that he wanted to listen and to help, not just 'put up' with the man.
"I appreciate it. I've had this weighing down on me for a long time, and talking about it at last... It's such a relief."
There was some silence as the two men sat and thought about everything that had just gone on. James's mind was still reeling with the new information. His perspective of Orion had changed so much. When they had first met, he had no desire to even look at the man, thinking him nothing more than a dirt brute. But now, with his knowledge of Orion's past, and the fact that he didn't turn out to be some burnt-out, no good stoner, the fact that he was still alive even. That took balls, and James was beginning to - scratch that, he had already begun from the first real conversation they had - respect him for that.
And then there was the problem of his feelings. There was definitely something inside him that yearned for his roommate, but whether it was complete platonic friendship that he desired, or something more, he couldn't say. He knew definitely that he wanted to connect over his new found orientation - for guidance and support at the very least. Orion was the only gay man that he knew, so it would make sense that they discuss it, maybe even...
The color in James's cheek due to the cold intensified due to the risky nature of his thoughts. With a sigh, he kicked one foot up onto his knee and leaned back on the bench, sneaking a sideways glance at his companion, who promptly began speaking again.
"James?"
One word, his name, so simple, and yet... He turned his head and gazed at the man completely, who still looked to be on the verge of tears. James found that that, combined with his total punk-rock attire, was endearing, and that he wanted nothing more to reach out and comfort him. But it sounded like Orion was about to say something important. No one just said names for the heck of it.
"I'm scared, but... I- I think I'd like to give myself a second chance to do things right. I'd like you to be that chance."
James's breath caught in his throat. This... this offer was not what he was expecting, and he was sure that it had not been Orion's intention when they had driven out here. "I need to show you why I don't want to be with you. Why I can't be with you."
Something had changed his mind then, and that something - or someone - was James.
He swallowed down the lump in his throat.
"What do you say?"
James turned his gaze back to the grassy ground. Weeds were sprouting up in clusters, choking out the grass wherever it could. It didn't look very nice at all, although the untrimmed grass was not much better, climbing up his ankles like a thousand spiders and brushing him ever so lightly and tickling him, causing him to jump slightly every few moments.
"I..." He began, knowing that Orion wanted an answer, but honestly, he wasn't sure what to say. The most obvious choice would be to say "yes", to be Orion's second chance and to patch him up and fix the broken man as best as he could, and hope it would be enough. That was what the majority of his body was screaming at him to do.
However, the one little voice that had pushed him to like the man before was now strangely quiet. It whispered doubts, that maybe this entire thing was just about Luke.
And so what? he thought. So what if it is about Luke? I need to help him get over that.
And you're going to hurt yourself in the process.
He shut the voice up then, and looked at Orion with a crooked smile. It was small, so unlike the one from earlier that day, but most of all, it was genuine.
"I'll be your second chance." He sated quietly, and then leaned and hugged the other man. "I'll let you know that you're doing all the right things - because you never did anything wrong. Those were all others' actions, and you can't control them, no matter how much you wish you could. And..." He moved away a little bit and let his hands rest on Orion's shoulders. "I'm not Luke, and I know I said you could think of me that way if it helped but I see the flaws in that idea now. I'm not Luke. I would need you to remember that."

Orion's eyes tracked James's gaze as it dropped to the ground, studying the twisting, life-sucking progress of the weeds sprawled amongst untamed grass, and a sparse smattering of wildflowers. The silence was suffocating, but not once did his still lips threaten it. Difficult as it was, he remained patient, watching and waiting, while James made that all-important decision, upon which he knew his own future rested, to some degree larger than he cared to admit to himself.
James tried to say something, and he froze, breath bated. Still, no answer came.
"Yes?" He pressed gently, brow furrowing as the pressure grew. A sinking feeling began in his chest. 
As though sensing his doubt, James looked up at him, and Orion's breath caught in his throat at the sight of his smile. It was small and sweet, but this time, he meant it. Orion could tell. Without even waiting for is answer, he felt his own lips begin to soften into a responding curve.
"I'll be your second chance." The words wrapped around him like a blanket of comfort, and as the warmth stunned him, seeping to levels he'd forgotten he had, he felt James's arms wrap around him. Brow furrowing deeply in emotion, he clapped his arms firmly around the small of his friend's back, and as he clutched him closer, his fingers curled with tension, rumpling the boy's shirt into waves under his touch. His eyes closed, then squeezed tighter still as a sense of shocking relief shook him from head to still.
"I'll let you know that you're doing all the right things," James's voice purred reassuringly by his ear, "Because you never did anything wrong. Those were all others' actions, and you can't control them, no matter how much you wish you could. And..."
He clenched his jaw, holding fast to James, and willed his lip fiercely not to tremble. He wouldn't break now. He couldn't. 
Feeling James start to pull back, his arms tensed a moment, reluctant to release him. But, at his command, they softened reluctantly, and James pulled away with the effect of a band aid ripping off a wound. A pair of delicate hands settled on his shoulders, and Orion slowly opened his eyes, looking into a face so vastly more composed than his own felt to him.
"I'm not Luke," Although firmer than he's expected, James's voice was not unkind. Even so, Orion felt a stirring of surprise as he went on, "And I know I said you could think of me that way if it helped but I see the flaws in that idea now. I'm not Luke. I would need you to remember that."
"I would never forget." He vowed without a moment's hesitance, shaking his head. "From the moment I met you, I told myself that I'd never fall under that illusion, and I'm glad I did. If I'd ever tried to find Luke in you, well..." His gaze dropped, and his fingers tightened slightly around James's waist, "I would have missed out on someone pretty great, don't you agree?"
His eyes found their way hesitantly to James's once more, and he smiled in earnest, even despite the lingering shadow of sadness in his featured.
"Look," He sighed quietly, "Nobody could ever replace Luke, and I don't expect you to. I like you for who you are, never for what I could have wished you were. Does that make sense? I don't want you to be Luke. I never did."
Without any conscious thought, he lifted a hand, brushing the backs of his fingers lightly over James's cheeks.
"I don't know how this is going to go." He admitted with a breath of a laugh, "But that's half the adventure, wouldn't you say?"

The amount of relief that James felt when Orion told him that he would not be a replacement for Luke was considerable. He didn't want to have to tell Orion that he was not going to pretend, because pretending wouldn't solve anything and would only make it worse.
He was surprised, however, when he continued speaking.
"From the moment I met you, I told myself that I'd never fall under that illusion, and I'm glad I did. If I'd ever tried to find Luke in you, well... I would have missed out on someone pretty great, don't you agree?"
The tension in Orion's grip on James's hip increased, slightly, causing the blonde's heart to race as he tried to digest the words. He was someone special? Of course he was, his musical ability was unmatched. But he got the feeling that Orion wasn't talking about that. That he was talking about James as a person, and not just a musician. That was something that he just didn't understand.
He let his gaze drop with a blush and bit his lip softly, feeling a little embarrassed to say the least. He didn't like compliments for anything other than the things he was confident in, and he was not very confident in himself.
"Look, nobody could ever replace Luke, and I don't expect you to. I like you for who you are, never for what I could have wished you were. Does that make sense? I don't want you to be Luke. I never did."
James leaned into the caress slowly, his eyes fluttering closed a bit at the gentle touch. It felt impossibly sweet, like the softest hint of a promise of tomorrow.
"I don't know how this is going to go. But that's half the adventure, wouldn't you say?"
When James opened his eyes, the small smile on Orion's mouth was enough to make him want to cry - although to be honest, he didn't know why.
He just cried at a lot of things.
"Yeah." He murmured. "That's the adventure." Hesitantly, he reached a hand up and lightly pressed the tips of his fingers to the back of Orion's hand, and let them sit there for a moment, and then pushed the man's hand away.
However, he kept it gripped in his own, and when he stood up, tugged the man to his feet as well. "How about we go on an adventure now?" He said, his tone of voice a bit more confident and suggestive than he actually felt. "You could show me around this place? Or we could just go back to our dorm to study for that chemistry final, if that's better. 1,2-dimethyl pentane is a very... adventurous topic, wouldn't you say?" A smirk played on his lips.

"Yeah." James agreed quietly, "That's the adventure."
Orion saw the boy's hand reach up, hesitate a moment, then touch softly against the back of his. His skin tingled under James's fingers, resting ever so lightly over his knuckles, and for a moment he felt a tightness in his chest. This would be an adventure like no other. An adventure that he'd waited far too long to build the courage to take. 
After a moment, James pushed his hand away, and just as Orion raised his head to glance questioningly at him, the boy stood and pulled him to his feet. He grunted in surprise, and almost stumbled a step. James was stronger than he looked.
"How about we go on an adventure now?" James suggested confidently, his eyes blazing in a way that Orion had never seen before. In the light of the dying sun, they gleamed golden in his handsome face. The beauty moved him.
"You could show me around this place? Or we could just go back to our dorm to study for that chemistry final, if that's better. 1,2-dimethyl pentane is a very... adventurous topic, wouldn't you say?"
Orion snorted. "So's flagellation, but I'd rather go through that than my chemistry textbook." He felt his own lips mirror James's smirk. The feeling of smiling had become so unfamiliar to him that the muscles in his cheeks were starting to hurt.
"Come on." Squeezing James's hand briefly, he turned and led him down the hill, walking carefully, for the long grass was slippery underfoot. He kept a protective gaze on his roommate all the while, and any time he feared James was going to slip, he was more than ready to catch him. It was probably annoying as hell to the poor guy, Orion was sure, but he couldn't help himself. He was protective by nature, and paranoid by experience. The two were a poor combination.

When they reached the base of the hill, the grass seemed a little shorter, and the weeds and dandelions denser. On a whim, Orion picked one, and blew it at James's face, freeing the little helicopter seeds that caught the wind of his breath and whirled at James, a couple lodging in his hair.
With a soft sound of laughter most unsuited to his usual surly demeanour, he dusted out the seeds, then casually resumed walking as though he hadn't done a thing. It was the first time he'd showed any kind of inclination toward playfulness at all.
As they walked, Orion showed James the tree that he and Luke had carved their names into, recounting the time that he'd sprained his wrist falling out of it. When he spoke now, his voice appeared lighter, and the troubled frown was gone from his face. He was done reliving the pain from his past, and now he found himself able to recount old memories with some fondness, rather than the usual bitterness. 

Continuing on through the fading light, Orion headed back toward the road, and as they neared the rickety bench supporting the sleeping hobo, the man stirred, a dirty glass bottle falling from his thick hand to shatter on the ground. He grunted awake with a yell of surprise, and then shot them a doleful, bloodshot gaze. "You boys got a few coins to spare for an old man?" He sat up, then shuffled to his feet. His long, grizzled hair was filthy; a strange combination of brown and grey, although what of the brown was dirt and what was actually hair, it was hard to say. He had a face like worn leather; hard, and crumpled from days out in the sun. He reeked of hard liquor and weed. "Just a few coins for a poor old man?" He repeated plaintively, "To feed the missus and kidlets?"
At this, Orion uttered a bark of laughter, and the beggar looked at him with a mixture of insult and surprise as he shook his head, clearly most amused.
"Nice try, Sammy." Orion shot back, "If by 'missus and kidlets' you mean alcoholism and drug addiction, then we might finally have something."
The old man squinted at him, then grumbled with a look of disappointment, "Oh. It's just yous two. Thought yeh'd left."
"I did." Orion shrugged, "But I came back because I missed you so much."
The man called Sam grumbled, then wandered back over to his bench, sitting down and taking out a rolled doobie. Orion tensed slightly as he lit it, but once he'd put the lighter away and started to smoke, he relaxed again.
"How you been, kids?" Sam asked, nodding to the bench beside him, "Siddown, let's talk."
Nodding, Orion led James over to the bench, then sat down beside Sam, apparently unbothered by the stench of the man. Sam offered him the doobie, and when Orion shook his head, he offered it to James instead. Orion declined on his behalf too, and with a shrug and a grumble of 'suit yourself', Sam went back to his puffing.
"So how come the pair o' you are back here, uh? I'dda thought yeh'd be off living those big dreams by now. Luke, didn't you wanna be a pilot or somthin'? You fly here?"
Orion cleared his throat awkwardly, and corrected, "Sam, this isn't Luke. This is my friend, James. We met at university."
Sam squinted at James for a moment, and with a look of dawning comprehension, he grunted and nodded, "Ah, right, right. Niceta meet you, Jack."
Orion didn't bother to correct him; it was clear that he was either too drunk or too stoned (or both) to retain any new information anyway. He shrugged apologetically at James.
"So what 'bout you, Ry?"
Orion looked questioningly at Sam. "What about me?"
"You ever finish that book you was writin'? I'm countin' on yous to buy me a house when yeh're all rich 'nd famous, y'know."
Orion chuckled politely. "No, no. I'm studying to be a doctor now."
Sam shot him a funny look, then grumbled something incoherent, and shrugged it off.
"It was nice seeing you again, Sam." Orion said, taking out his wallet, and scratching through it. All he had on him were a couple of twenties, but he took them out and handed them to Sam, who accepted them gratefully.
"Now, no buying any alcohol!" Orion warned with mock seriousness as he shook Sam's hand.
"On my mother's grave." Sam replied in kind, placing his free hand solemnly over your heart.
Orion laughed, then slapped him on the shoulder. "Look after yourself."
"You too, Ry."
With that, Orion nodded to James, and they left Sam to his smoking.
"He's been living here forever." Orion explained to James, "A bit stupid from drugs and drinking, but he's got a good heart. Luke and I used to hang out with him when we came here." He smiled faintly, "Old Stinky Sam was the only one who didn't judge us. He was always kind and supportive."

They headed back toward the bike, but instead of mounting it, Orion walked past toward the orphanage. He looked the old building up and down, and his lip curled distastefully. After a long moment of thought, he turned back to James.
"I'm not going to show you around here." He said, shaking his head, "There are plenty of things I want to share with you, but this is a morbid and depressing place. There is no adventure behind those doors." He loosed his grip on James's hand, flexed his stiff fingers, and then turned him around with a touch to the shoulder. The sun was setting, spilling an array of golden colours over the gloomy park. It was beautiful.
For a moment he just watched, then he cast James an uncertain glance, and threaded his arm hesitantly around the boy's shoulders. He wasn't quite sure yet if he was allowed but... He wanted to try. Just that was an adventure all in itself.

"So's flagellation, but I'd rather go through that than my chemistry textbook. Come on."
There was a smirk on Orion's face as well, and James just couldn't put his finger on the feeling that it gave him, but it was... nice? Because the man had smiled more today than he had during all the time James had known him. Granted that wasn't a very long period of time, but still....
It wasn't a long period of time, and they were already in a relationship? Or whatever the hell Orion wanted with his second chance, at least. So was it really... wise to be do this already?
It's not like we're getting married, James countered. It's not a permanent thing. Besides, I'm sure that two boys dating is different than a boy and a girl, so it wouldn't be that bad.
He sighed and smiled as Orion pulled him down the hill suddenly, keeping their hands twined together as they began walking. James had to watch his steps carefully as they descended, as the weeds rose up in slick clumps. His companion kept a watchful gaze over him, which James would have laughed at if he didn't know where it had come from. Instead he just shot shy, thankful smiles at him, which he thought he saw the man grin because of.
At one point, he picked up a dandelion and blew the fuzz at James. The blonde arched and eyebrow in amusement, as Orion leaned forward and ran his hands through James's golden hair, presumably to remove the little pods that had gotten caught. That caused a little bit of color to rise in his cheeks, which Orion promptly ignored, and went back to pretending that everything was normal.
They walked onward for a little bit longer until they came to the sleeping hobo again. James had paid him no mind earlier, but now he had been startled awake by a bottle slipping through his fingers and shattering on the ground. Then the smell hit him so quickly it was like the glass had set off a bomb. A putrid combination of alcohol and body odor and urine - it was like a the scent had assaulted his nostrils.
He held back the gagging reflex as Orion had begun talking to the man, almost as if they knew each other.
"I did. But I came back because I missed you so much."
"How you been, kids? Siddown, let's talk."
With that, Orion lightly pulled on James's wrist, and they sat beside the man, who had pulled out some sort of weed and had begun smoking it. When he offered it to the two men, Orion refused for the two of them, as if James wouldn't have said no on his own.
Well, you'd probably accept some liquor from this guy.
Nah, only beer. No hard liquor for me.
"So how come the pair o' you are back here, uh?"
Well, that was confusing. As far as Jame knew, he had never been here before, so there was no way for him to come back. But then it struck him. Orion had said he'd come back. That meant that this Sam was here from the orphanage, and probably knew Orion when he was growing up. And that meant he knew Luke. And who looked exactly like Luke? "I'dda thought yeh'd be off living those big dreams by now. Luke, didn't you wanna be a pilot or somthin'? You fly here?"
James was right, but for once, he wasn't happy about it. Luke wanted to be a pilot. So many dreams, shattered on those rocks under the cliffs. Lying broken like the man's body.
James twisted his head to see if Orion was getting as torn up as he was - he had to be, because James didn't even know the guy and was feeling this way - but to his surprise, the man wasn't.
"Sam, this isn't Luke. This is my friend, James. We met at university."
The hobo just grunted and seemed to accept the fact, and then went on to talk to Orion about his life.
"So what 'bout you, Ry?"
"What about me?"
"You ever finish that book you was writin'? I'm countin' on yous to buy me a house when yeh're all rich 'nd famous, y'know."
"No, no. I'm studying to be a doctor now."
Sam grunted again, and then Orion gave him a few twenties with a kind farewell. As he was turning to go, James pulled out his own wallet and gave the man a fresh, crisp, hundred dollar bill. The man's eyes got wide at it, but James just smiled. "Keep it. I have enough." He waved and then hurried to catch up to his friend, who was already walking off.
They went past the bike and up to the old, abandoned building. Orion stared at it for a long while, and after about thirty seconds of staring at the grey walls as well, James fixed his gaze on his friend's face, which was full of distaste. Those haunting green eyes smoldered beneath a fringe of inky hair.
"I'm not going to show you around here. There are plenty of things I want to share with you, but this is a morbid and depressing place. There is no adventure behind those doors."
He let his grip on James's hand go, and for a moment, the blonde was scared that he had done something wrong. He immediately berated himself for asking about that stupid orphanage and wanting to go on an adventure.
But soon after, James felt a soft touch on his shoulder, and he turned around to see warm pastel colors of the sunset creeping over the desolate landscape, filling the park with a sort of haunting beauty. He felt a tentative pressure on his shoulders, and looked to see Orion with his arm reaching up. A small smile touched James's lips.
"We'll make our own adventure then." He said with a chuckle, and slowly, hesitantly, turned his face so that he was looking Orion in the eyes. Gently, he reached up a hand and thumbed the edge of Orion's long hair away from his brow. "You have the most gorgeous eyes." He murmured quietly, and then leaned in, letting his lips brush ever so gently across Orion's. Then he pulled away, his eyes searching the other man's, looking for any sign of 'not okay'.

When James looked at him, Orion wasn't quite sure what to expect. With the relationship between them so new and undefined, he felt as though he were lost in the wilderness, with miles upon miles of unknown territory stretching in every direction. He felt as though he could encounter anything, bad or good. This time, it was the latter. James's lips formed a smile, and in his relief, Orion mirrored it.
"We'll make our own adventure then." James told him, chuckling. Orion nodded, then looked up to find James now gazing directly at him. As they searched each other's eyes, James reached out to him, and he felt the soft touch of the boy's thumb brushing back his fringe. The feeling was unfamiliar, but not unwelcome.
"You have the most gorgeous eyes."
"Hm?" He blinked in astonishment, most taken aback by this, and felt a flush of colour rise to his cheeks. More embarrassed by his reaction than the compliment, he cleared his throat awkwardly, but before he could look away to hide the blush on his face, he realized with a start that, suddenly, James's face was barely an inch from his own. His eyes closed automatically as their lips brushed, then sprung open again when James pulled away, blinking in surprise. His stomach flipped at the suddenness of the gesture, and as the tips of his ears grew hot, he decided to give up his cause as hopeless. There was no hiding the colour in his face now. He was probably bright red already.
After a moment, he noticed James's eyes searching his with a certain sense of insecurity, and realized with a jolt that the other man was probably awaiting a reaction. He uttered a breath of laugh, and dropped his gaze to the ground. "Wow." He breathed quietly, for there was no other word to sum up the swooping sensation he felt deep inside.
It was startling and a little frightening to realize that James could affect him in this way, but he did not fight it. Instead, he looked hesitantly up, closer to shy than he had ever seemed, and reached out with a sense of awe to run his fingers over James's soft cheek. His skin felt static to the touch, generating a feeling that Orion somehow affiliated with an electric shock. He shuddered, then gave James's hair a brief ruffle, and took a step back, fleeing from the intensity of his feelings. He smiled once, his expression reassuring, and admitted with a soft chuckle, "I'm not sure I want to go back to real life after all this..."

When James saw Orion blush, he began to think for the first time that the other man might not be as comfortable? - no, that wasn't the word - as confident - maybe that was it - as he seemed it this tentative relationship. It had always seemed to the blonde that Orion knew exactly what he was doing and what exactly was going to happen. But here, with just the faintest red coloring his cheeks, it seemed not at all like that.
It took James a moment to remember that Orion was only human, and anyone kissed like that would be blushing.
"Wow."
A good wow or a bad wow? He almost asked, especially when Orion dropped his gaze to the ground with a shaky laugh. But then, he raised his eyes again and gently reached a finger up to rest it gently on James's cheek. The gesture seemed almost too sweet for him. Men shouldn't do this - he was manly as hell! But no, this felt too good to stop. With the glow of the setting sun illuminating the pair with a quiet light that radiated peace, the moment was almost too perfect to be real.
"I'm not sure I want to go back to real life after all this..."
"You took the words right out of my mouth." James murmured with a small smile as Orion stepped back and ruffled his hair.
With a sigh, he let Orion's arm slide from his shoulder as he made his way back to the bike.
"However," he called over his shoulder with a sly grin, "we really do need to. Finals tomorrow, remember? I can't completely blow off chemistry..."

"You took the words right out of my mouth." James agreed, and Orion mirrored his smile, though his eyes showed some sadness at the thought of going back. He didn't know yet what that would mean, at least as far as he and James were concerned. He didn't want the world to know about them, and he had a feeling that James felt the same way. He only hoped that they would be able to hide it... Aine had figured out already, even before they have. 
"However," Orion looked up, and he was surprised to find that while he had been lost in his thoughts, James had already got halfway back to the bike. "We really do need to. Finals tomorrow, remember? I can't completely blow off chemistry..."
He sighed, then jogged a few steps to catch up, mumbling reluctantly, "I suppose so."
He fell into step beside James as they walked toward the bike, then stopped suddenly, holding out a hand to stop his friend. He could have sworn he had heard a third set of footsteps, but when he stopped to listen, the evening was as quiet as ever. Shrugging it off as paranoia, he apologised to James, then walked on, passing the orphanage and heading to the end of the cul-de-sac.
When he reached the bike, he leaned over to unbuckle his helmet from the handlebars. Just as the clasp snapped open in his fingers, he heard the unmistakeable sound of running feet, and he dropped the helmet, spinning around a second too late.
A shadowy figure sprinted toward them, and before Orion could do any more than speak James's name in warning, the youth had grabbed his roommate from behind. Orion lunged at him, but then he heard a panicked voice shot, "Stop!", and in a flash of silver, there was a knife at James's throat. "Stop!" the voice repeated nervously, "Or I'll kill him!"
Calmly, Orion raised both hands, palms up, and took a step back. "Take it easy, man." He said quietly as he looked into a pair of fearful blue eyes, stretched wide as saucers. The boy was wearing a beanie and a baggy, tattered hoodie, and although Orion could not quite make out his face in the gloom, he could tell by the gangly, ungainly limbs and the young facial features that their attacker could not have been more than sixteen. Judging by the terror in his eyes, he was no hardened criminal.
The boy swallowed anxiously, then jerked his head toward Orion and said, "One step closer, and I'll cut him."
Orion nodded his understanding and stood patiently, hands folded in a non-threatening fashion, even as his heart raced sickeningly in his chest. His hands grew slick with the same sweat that dampened his brow and beaded wetly on his upper lip, and he felt his fists silently shaking. He felt beside himself with worry, and yet, he dared not take a step. The boy was scared; this was what worried Orion more than anything. A scared man, he knew, was an unpredictable one. And an unpredictable man was a dangerous one. As hard as it was, he knew that he could not act rashly, nor could he race to James's rescue as he longed to. Doing so could very well mean his friend's death. So, instead, he clenched his fists tighter, and swallowed the panic in his throat, waiting with exaggerated patience for their attacker to state his purpose.

"Empty your pockets!" The youth hissed to James, pressing the keen blade of his knife more firmly over his victim's windpipe. "Any valuables you've got on you, hand them over." A light flickered on in one of the orphanage windows, and the boy's eyes darted nervously toward it for a moment. "Quickly!" His hand tensed, and as the blade of the knife pressed into James's skin, Orion very nearly leaped forward. Then those blue eyes shot sharply toward him, and he stopped himself, raising his hands again.
Keep calm. He told himself as his panted breath began misting the air. Calm. Calm. Calm...
"Here." Orion unclipped his watch, then slipped out his wallet and tossed both to the ground some two meters from the mugger. He would worry about his things only when he was sure his roommate was safe.
"James," He said, meeting his friend's eyes with the calmest gaze he could muster, "Do as he says, okay?"
Just get yourself out of there. Let me handle the rest.

Orion caught up to James, but suddenly stuck his arm out to stop him. He let out an "oof" of discomfort and turned to glare angrily at the man, but Orion put a finger to his lips and cocked his head to the side, as if he were listening for something. James listened too, but heard nothing, and evidently Orion didn't hear anything either. He apologized and the two moved on, quickly closing the gap between themselves and the bike.
As Orion fiddled with the helmet and other various parts, James suddenly felt a hand clasp against his mouth from behind, and a sharp cold abject press against the unprotected skin of his neck. The skin was warm and clammy and covered in sweat, making James want to recoil in disgust. Gross.
Orion made a move a him, his face darkening into a purple cloud of fury.
"Stop!" The voice of his captor called. He sounded young, and his nervous voice was high and trembling. "Stop! Or I'll kill him!"
The dagger dug deeper into his throat to prove he meant what he said, but it didn't cut the skin. Not yet, at least.
Orion took another step closer, and the boy threatened to cut James again. Orion stopped moving and stood sickeningly still; the terror on his face was palpable, and James hoped he didn't look quite so scared as that.
"Empty your pockets! Any valuables you've got on you, hand them over. Quickly!"
One of the rooms in the grey building lit up, and James couldn't even keep the surprise off his face. He was sure that such a horrible-looking place was abandoned. So were there people there? Even if there were a bunch of hobos there, they shouldn't have electricity to light a room...
Orion began to follow the thief's instructions, unclipping his watch and pulling his wallet out of his pocket. All of a sudden, James remembered that they had both given all their money to Sam. Would the thief be satisfied with what they were giving him?
"James, do as he says, okay?"
James nodded and reached into his pocket slowly, pulling out his own wallet. It was painfully empty, except for his driver's license and a gift card to a coffee place unique to the university campus. He always left his credit cards in his dorm, unless he knew he was going out where he needed them - precisely in case this situation ever came up.
"I don't have much." James said pleadingly, his voice coming out strangled. His Adam's apple bobbed sharply against the edge of the blade. As he reached into his pockets again to pull out anything else he might have of value. He laid a piece of lint and a gum wrapper on the ground with an apologetic smile upward.
The youth looked dirty, his brown eyes wild beneath a mess of black hair. His skin was covered in the grime and soot that came with living in the slums.
As he reached into his right pocket, however, he encountered something that he wasn't expecting at all a tiny little canister. The weight seemed strangely familiar in his palm, and when he took it out, he could read the words "pepper spray" in between his fingers.
Then he remembered. He had taken it from Aine's bathroom earlier that morning, thinking that it was some sort of food condiment in his weary state of mind. Of course now he remembered that it didn't go on mashed potatoes, and that it went into rapists' eyes.
Well, this wasn't a rapist, but it would probably work all right.
With a resigned sigh, he began to gather his things from the ground. As he was finishing up, he sneaked a glance upward at Orion, his eyes full of a mixture of grim determination and fear.
"Here you go, sir." He said quietly, reaching his hand up.
"Thank you. Now-" The youth began, but never finished. James had pulled the cap off of the canister and began spraying his all over, trying desperately to get it over to his face. With a shriek, the boy lunged backward, away from the toxin, and James was finally free to sprint away.
Only when he was safely next to Orion once again did he notice the stinging in his shoulder and feel like wetness of liquid trickling down his chest.
"Well, would you look at that." He murmured, strangely calm for seeing his blood dampening the front of his grass green polo. If he craned his neck enough, he could see a shallow slash across his collar bone, parallel to his neck and over the back of his shoulder, where the knife must have grazed him when he pulled away.

Orion watched helplessly, with a terrible mixture of fear and - upon seeing how calm James remained - pride as his roommate obediently emptied his pockets onto the ground. The youth remained silent. Then, as James began gathering up the loot, several things happened so quickly that Orion could barely keep track of the situation. First James flashed him a look - a meaningful one - then he handed over his belongings, and in a flash, unleashed a can of pepper spray upon his attacker. The boy shrieked, the sound high and ghastly, then swung his knife blindly as he staggered back, shielding his eyes.
Orion darted forward in the same second that James bolted toward him, and he caught his friend by the shoulders, his words of concern dying on his lips as they both looked simultaneously to the gash on his neck. James said something, but Orion never heard him, for he had already pushed past, feet carrying him mindlessly toward the blinded, staggering youth.
"I'll f*cking kill you!" His lips spat dangerously, speaking with a voice that was not his own. The boy's bloodshot eyes flashed open a moment, then closed again with the pain. He staggered backwards, then turned to run blindly - but Orion's hand was already on his arm. The boy was screaming, shouting something, but Orion was deaf to his cries for help. The hot blood pounded in his ears, and without a thought, he drew back a fist and smashed it into the youth's face. He could hear his nose break.
The boy collapsed to the ground, sobbing, and yelled, "Shit! SHIT, Zane, help- Argh!" He choked on his words as Orion grabbed him by the throat, lifting him off his feet. In the heat of his fury, he didn't notice the shadowy figures leaping over the tall vibacrete wall along the side of the orphanage, nor did he hear the warning shouts, or the sounds of running feet approaching him. He had just drawn back a fist to hit the mugger again when he felt a grasp on his arm, slowing a hit that would otherwise have knocked the kid out cold.
"Get off of him!" Another voice yelled as the newcomer shoved him back, away from his bleeding victim. With a snarl of fury, Orion spun around and swung his fist out again. It landed with a meaty thump, and the newcomer staggered back with a dull 'oof'.
Turning away, Orion made another lunge for the sobbing boy on the ground, who was now crouched on the ground, retching over a puddle of blood and broken teeth. "Leave him alone!" The man called Zane gasped, and as he lunged forward to defend his friend, Orion felt a sharp pain in his gut, which sent him staggering back, clutching his stomach. A wave of dizziness struck him, and before he could make sense of his confused limbs again, the man called Zane had lifted up his bloody friend, and the two had sprinted off into the night.
"F*cking cowards!" Orion shouted after them, "If you ever touch my friend again, I'll-"
He grunted, then winced, surprising himself by dropping suddenly to one knee. For the first time, he looked down, and saw the hand over his stomach was bright red with blood.
"Shit-" He blinked in surprise, lifting it up and studying it with a stunned expression as his sense slowly began to return to him. His entire hand shone with fresh, wet blood, and his sleeve was soaked with the stuff. A second glance down showed him a gaping hole in his gut where the knife had stabbed and twisted. He tried to move, and the wound belched blood onto the filthy asphalt. Orion cursed, grimacing as the pain finally struck, and doubled over, clutching his stomach. Blood rushed hotly over his fingers, flowing thick and fast. At the sight of it, he began to feel lightheaded.
"Shit!" He punched the ground furiously, and the blood gushed from his wound. "Shit, shit, shit!"
Fist opening to a palm, he pushed himself to his feet, then staggered sideways and nearly fell. The world was spinning around him, and he could not balance on his own. "James-" He started speaking, then gagged, and doubled over, retching. With a painful heave, he vomited blood, splashing a think glob of crimson onto the ground. "Oh f*ck..." He hissed furiously, spitting blood onto the ground. "F*cking hell..."
His head spun worse than ever, and he reached out blindly for something to support him, then fell to his knees again, dizzy and lightheaded. Two bright, white spots were growing in front of his vision, and as he felt a chilling sensation of pins and needles begin in his fingers and toes, spreading fast, all he could do was curse repetitively through bloody, shaking lips.

As soon as Orion's eyes skimmed the gash on James's shoulder, he was off, sprinting towards the offender in a fit of rage. The next few moments flew by so quickly for the blonde that he didn't even have time to register what was going on. One moment Orion was beating the lanky youth, the next the thief was calling for back-up, and grey figures began dropping from the walls. In any other situation, James would have been laughing at the assassin-like stealth they used to enter the small field.
However, they quickly converged around his friend, like a pack of wolves, and soon Orion was the one getting beaten. There was the sound of flesh hitting flesh, and finally the sickening sound of skin being torn open and liquid running out of a hole.
Suddenly the world seemed to stop spinning and time slowed down. James didn't know when or how he had reached Orion's side, but he did, and he saw the backs of the men fleeing, their stolen goods forgotten on the ground in their panic to flee the scene of a stabbing.
Orion was kneeling on the ground, looking simply confused, as if he couldn't understand the fact that he'd just been stabbed. That was to be expected. Something to do with desensitizing the brain in order to cope with panic, and they learned about this in class, and, and...
Calm washed over him as he remembered everything they learned in class.
Of course. I'm a pre-med student. I can do this.
"I need you to breathe, Orion." He said "Just breathe."
The man was in shock, that much was clear. And James had no clean cloth, but the blood gushing from the wound made it obvious that it needed to be covered.
With medical precision, James stripped out of his polo and covered the hole of the stab - thankfully none of the intestines were coming out - and applied a light pressure. Then he lifted Orion's legs and placed them on his shoulder - the uncut one - and reached for his phone in the pile of goods on the ground.
"911, ((or whoever the emergency phone number is in SA xD)) I have a stabbing victim, I need immediate attention here."
Quickly he gave the operator their location and information, and then hung up.
"It's going to be okay, Orion. It'll be okay." He murmured, looking at the man with cool, professional, detachment.

"I need you to breathe, Orion." James said, and for some reason, these words pissed him off greatly. "Just breathe."
"I am breathing." He growled through gritted teeth, shivering feverishly as he pressed his hand harder against the wound. It was deep, of that he was sure, but as he had never seen the knife that made it, he had no idea just how deep. One thing was certain; it needed covering. He already felt faint from blood loss.
Just as he was about to suggest this, he looked up to find James shrugging off his shirt, and registered the man's semi-nakedness in some dull section at the back of his mind.
He's quite pretty. An inner voice whispered to him. Then the pain throbbed again, and he forgot about everything but the shirt that his friend had the good sense to press against the gaping hole in his abdomen. He groaned softly at the pressure, but did not object. He knew that it was necessary.
When James pushed him down and lifted up his legs, however, Orion felt the residue anger in him light up like a beacon, and he kicked his legs stubbornly down from his friend's shoulder, unwilling to be fussed over. He had always had to look after himself, and when it came down to it, it turned out that he didn't know any other way.
Dropping his feet back onto the ground, he rolled over and lifted himself to his knees, still pressing James's shirt to his wound with one hand. He was not going to lie here on his back, legs in the air like an upturned beetle! He didn't care how much it worsened his condition; he would retain his sense of pride, at least.
Somewhere beside him, James was talking on the phone. Orion registered his voice with a distant kind of acceptance, but he did not hear the words until James turned to him and said, "It's going to be okay, Orion. It'll be okay." The way he said it was so numb, so unfeeling, that it unsettled Orion far more than it comforted him. James's detachment stung.
"Damn right it's going to be okay!" He snarled, then choked and convulsed as he retched up another mouthful of blood. He cursed again, furious that he'd had enough medical knowledge forced down his throat to imagine every possible, horrendous scenario that might be causing his symptoms. Had the knife punctured his stomach? Was he bleeding internally?
Cutting off his thoughts, he spat onto the ground - sickened by the metallic taste of blood - then shot James a wounded glare. "I know it'll be okay." He repeated hoarsely, "So would you act a little less like a f*cking doctor, and a little more like my friend?" He sat up on his knees, braced momentarily on one palm, and took a deep, painful breath. Then he grunted, and beckoned to James. "Come on, help me up."
He didn't want to be on his knees any longer. He didn't want James trying to treat him any longer. It made him feel weak, helpless, and that was a feeling that he hated above all others.