Re: Polo, the mighty Girlehkins and their army of gherkins.

**GirlehfromPB** Fri Jul 02, 2010 3:57 am

Failure-
I exahled slowly, forcing my thoughts away, I knew he was still alive, despite everything. "K.." I couldn't get the word out as too much blood escaped my mouth, I was weak and pretty useless. But why would his father try and stop me from remembering...Unless...Unless it was possible for me to marry kougu...As soon as the realisation his I tensed, pushing the thought away as I stopped trembling, my breathing was slightly laboured as I just couldn't do it. I don't know how I knew, but at that moment I was positive of it. I could do what we had beleived we couldn't. I could take Yuuki's(sp?) place. I slowly opened my eye, my gaze searching for his as I just led there, shocked, scared. I just didn't know what to do. I coulnd't physically tell him. I'd end up wanbted to end my life again. I had to figure a way without him knowing.

Polo trapped in an inkpot Fri Jul 02, 2010 1:00 pm

"What happened? Are you okay?" Kougu asked urgently, squeezing her gently to let her know he was there. What on earth was wrong with her... He hated not knowing. He hated not being able to help... Being so useless... Kougu shook the thought away, gnawing on his lip as he watched Failure with concern. What was he to do...?

**GirlehfromPB** Fri Jul 02, 2010 11:03 pm

Failure-
I nodded slowly before glancing at the patch of blood... Yeah. I could tell him this way. I slowly put a finger in the blood before writing we are in the same house into the blood. I closed my eyes once i was done sighing heavily. It was difficult, I couldn't physically tell him, but I had to try and tell him. I was happy in his embrace, buthow long untill the pain kicked in? Untill I wanted to... What if I actually did it? What If I didn't have the will power and I did actually kill myself through giving into the pain. I gave a weak sigh. Thrusting thoes thoughts deep out of my head. Knowing it wa sbtter that I didn't think like that. I mean, I had kougu, even if I couldn't have him o myself, if we were in the same house-which now I was positive we were- I would be able to get along with him, still be somewhat close to him. Maybe I could even take YUuki's place if she so tragically died...

Polo trapped in an inkpot Thu Jul 08, 2010 12:22 pm

Kougu felt his heart skip a beat as he read Failure's gory message. The words themselves fell away from his thoughts almost instantly, but the message behind them remained. Perhaps he was just over thinking this... But then why was she telling him? What difference did it make? She couldn't possibly think that he would be able to marry her, could she? A shudder ran through him at the thought and he raised his eyes to the ceiling, wondering vaguely how long it would be until they came back and tried to take him again. He had told Failure that it would be okay... That he would make a plan... Yet now she somehow came up with this shocking piece of information, and left herself in such a state in the process. He tried to ignore the stinging feeling that burned through him when he realised that she had not trusted his words. After he had promised her... Then again, perhaps it was better that way. It was never wise to trust somebody like him... "Failure, I-" Kougu broke off and turned away again, his grip on her slackening slightly. He still didn't know what to say... What could he say that would not hurt her? What could he say that he knew was true...? The details were too hazy, nothing was written in stone... How could he comprehend. Kougu felt frustration building up in him, the confusion taking its toll on his exhausted mind. He felt a familiar clicking begin tapping away in his right temple, and at that moment he knew that he had to get away... Calm down... Before he did something he would seriously regret... Again. But he did not want to leave her. Kougu's fingers tightened around Failure again and he let his eyes slide shut as he struggled to come up with some sort of solution. It was only then that a shocking realisation hit him. The reason his emotions were in such a tangle, the reason he did not understand anything, was because he was afraid. Those words written in the blood... No, the meaning behind them... It terrified him so completely that he was barely able to think.

**GirlehfromPB** Fri Jul 09, 2010 3:52 am

[Brainnn deadness :'( ]

Failure-
I gave a soft sigh, before I winced again. "He..." I mumbled closing my eyes, waiting for the pain as every muscle in my body tensed up. "Is, alive" I finished weakly.

Polo trapped in an inkpot Sat Jul 10, 2010 9:17 am

"I know..." Kougu murmured softly, "He... He's not going away easily." Kougu admitted bitterly. He took a deep breath to steel himself, then made his decision, one he had been thinking on for a while. He wanted to trust her. He would make himself trust her. "Listen, Failure... I've been thinking..." Kougu began uncertainly, staring down at his feet as he spoke. "If something were to happen... Anything at all... I want you to know who I am. It isn't fair that, after all this time, I'm still hiding so much from you... So I've decided, that is, if you wish to know... That I should tell you... About myself, that is. My life, my past... The reason I am the way I am." He broke off there, trembling violently at the thought of what he had just offered to do. It was such a massive thing for him... So huge... Yet it seemed such a small gesture.

**GirlehfromPB** Sun Jul 11, 2010 5:19 am

Failure-
I eased my fragile like body into a sitting position. Wincing at the movement, I shifted slightly, so I was facing him, I let my icy fingers find his hand. "You don't have to. I don't need to know everything, some skeletons are better left in the closet" I whispered softly to him, leaning forward slightly. Pressing my lips against his cheek in a soft comforting gesture, it didn't ease my curiosity. But I didn't want him in any uncomfortable position. I wanted the last moments we would probably ever have together to be peaceful.

Polo trapped in an inkpot Sun Jul 11, 2010 2:04 pm

Kougu felt alarm course through him as he felt Failure drawing nearer to him, icy terror entering his bloodstream to freeze his movement for a moment, his muscles tensing completely. As such, he found himself completely unable to react when he felt her lips meet his cheek, and it was all he could do to keep himself from making a rapid retreat, terrified as he was of hurting her feelings. This fear... It made no sense. He trusted her completely, yet still- This paranoia... This was why she needed to know. To understand... "You- you may be right..." Kougu finally managed, choking out the words in a hoarse whisper. He shook his head to get his thoughts in order, then tried again. "Perhaps it would be better if I said nothing at all... But- But I feel you ought to understand... Why... I don't, no, why I can't express my l- My l-love for you." He broke off, taking a deep breath to steady his nerves before going on, "I won't pretend this isn't difficult for me... But unless you honestly do not wish to know, I think I ought to tell you... No matter what the cost." Kougu finally managed to force his gaze down now, meeting her eyes with some combination of stress, desperation, and firm determination. He wanted her to know... He needed her to know... Yet he did not want to tell her. An really, he didn't want her to know at all... It was all so confusing, so complicated, yet he was certain of one thing: If she understood, she would be safer. If she understood... Perhaps he would not be such a danger to her.

**GirlehfromPB** Mon Jul 12, 2010 3:54 am

Failure-
"Kougu, I'm here to listen if you need me to, if not I am happy to wait untill you are willing to open up. This is hard for you, I can clearly see that" I spoke softly, Placing a hand on his cheek. So closed to him our breaths entertwined for a moment. "It's fine I don't mind if you tell me or not, I understand not everyone is perfect. I still have a very hidden past. If it helps, I could tell you about mine" I offered him, he knew so much, yet so little about me. He knew everything others didn't and yet. It was so difficult to tell him, it shouldn't be. I mean. I loved him with all my heart.

Polo trapped in an inkpot Mon Jul 12, 2010 8:48 am

Kougu took a deep breath, then released it with a sigh. He had wanted so badly for her to know, though not of course to tell her. Yet now it seemed... As though she did not want to know. As though she wished to learn of his past, only as a favour to him... Perhaps she was scared... He knew he was. Well, it did not matter now. He had lost his nerve, and it was too late. There were not going to be any admissions from him now. He couldn't do it... His courage had left him. Kougu dropped his gaze, ashamed by his failure, then gradually made himself look up, forcing a slight smile as he met Failure's gaze. "Of course I would like to know..." He murmured softly, his tone showing sincere gradtitude as he spoke, "Perhaps then I can understand you better..." He added thoughtfully, a spark of hope lighting up his dull eyes for an instant. "I always struggle to understand... But perhaps if I know..." He went on, chattering softly, clearly speaking more to himself than to Failure. He often ended up speaking his thoughts out loud, and this had turned nasty for him more than once... Still, it had gotten to the point now that he would trust Failure with his every thought. He had nothing else... She was the only thing he could keep close, yet all the while it felt so fragile... Knowing that all it would take was one slip-up on his part, and it would all be over.

**GirlehfromPB** Mon Jul 12, 2010 9:15 am

Failure-
I hesitantly pulled my hand away at the thought of letting him know. I exhaled slowly, sitting up. Putting a slight distance between him, the tears already glittering in my gaze. I inhaled before tarting to speak, preparing myself to give him the insight no one knew. "I was born into a werewolf family, as my father was killed in the mating process. He was the vampire and soul society part of my life, I was one of a large litter. Always the runt, at the time I wasn't sure of my abilities, unlike normal packs we stayed together till we turned three. I didn't know what was happening to me. It..." I hesitated blinking away the tears. Though one escaped. "Me and Rhoan were both the runts, always standing beside each other, though one day I didn't know what it was. I couldn't do it. I..." I hesitated as a small tear slid down my pallid face, I cleared my throat. Needing to continue. "I figured how to phase from wolf to human, even though I was the runt I was the fastest learner out of all of us. It took me a few days after I had figure to phase what I could do. One day, they started to bully me. Rhoan and gone of with mother. They pushed me in circles. It was endless..." My voice broke before I chewed my lip. I needed to tell him. He needed to know. "The pushed me in the circle, Jake stabbed with with a silver knife in the side. Finding it funny. The blue flames danced around the wound. Numbing my side, slowly killing me. I let loose of my anger. i couldn't help it. Though I meant it. I killed all eight of them. I did it purposely, by the time Rhoan has returned with my mother I had to explain it. The fact that I had willing killed my family." I couldn't continue as I pulled my knees to my chest. Hugging them as I rocked myself.

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