Polo, the mighty Girlehkins and their army of gherkins.

Kougu reached out after Failure with a gasp of pain as he saw her trying to leave, but his fingers closed on air. He was too late... She was gone. Kougu dropped his head and let himself be overwhelmed for a moment, feeling the pain wash over and through him, infecting every fibre of his being. Why couldn't she understand...? Kougu didn't know what to do. He didn't know what he could say... He had already apologised to her and tried to explain. She knes his deepest secret, she knew his thoughts, she knew his feelings... Why, then, did she not understand...? Perhaps she didn't want to. Or perhaps he was just too messed up for her after all... He should have known better. He would never be an asset to anybody, except as a weapon. A killing machine. Apart from that, he would always be a burden and nothing more. That was why he ought to distnce himself... Yet at the same time, Kougu refused to do this selfishly. There was only one thing he could think of to do. Kougu clambered to his feet, his breathing ragged as he hauled himself along, using the wall for support. He tried to ignore the blinding pain as he desperately followed Failure's reiatsu. He collapsed just as he reached the forest, slamming hard into a tree before sliding slowly down. He couldn't go any further... He was at his limit. Kougu resisted the urge to give up hope as he initiated his final plans. Failure had said she could read his thoughts... If he couldn't reach her, what if heattempted to send his thoughts to her...? It would work. It had to work, because it was the only option left to him... He had to believe it would work, or else give up all hope. Failure... Kougu closed his eyes as he attempted to send his thoughts toward her, focusing on the feeling of her reiatsu. Failure... I'm sorry, I really am, but I just don't know what to do now... I don't know what you want from me. If you never want to see me again, I will vanish without a trace. Is that what you want? I just don't know any more. His thoughts died as Kougu slipped temporarily into unconsciousness, forcing himself to cling to the world of reality as it swam dizzyingly around him.

Kougu's eyes flew open as he caught Failure's thoughts ringing through his mind. It was a strange sensation... He had never felt anything quite like it. I want you. Kougu sent his simple thoughts winging toward her, biting back a scream of pain before trying to fore a final thought toward her. I can't hold on any longer... I promise I'll find you as soon as I can, unless you don't want me to. The instant the thoughts had left Kougu's mind, he passed out. The pain was too much to bear, even for him. He was better off unconscious and enduring crippling pain than he was losing control and acting like the tool he was...

Kougu shiverred slightly as the cold bit into his skin, causing goosebumps to erupt over his flesh. His thin cotton T-shirt was no match for the freezing wind, yet he was not aware of the chill seeping into his bones. Kougu stayed unconscious for hours, then came around briefly. The light confused him... He couldn't tell if it was dawn or dusk, for the soft grey haze was much the same. He didn't know what day it was or how long he had been out... Not that it mattered much as he started slipping away again. He was leeching off his own strength, slowly stealing away the energy that kept his body active as he struggled to conquer his own mind. He had come to rely on Failure... Perhaps too much. It was hard to find motivation to keep living without her... But Kougu's will was strong. He had vowed to find her... So he had to keep fighting, and he would.

Kougu showed no signs of waking. His pale, ashen face was gaunt from exhaustion. His skin held a slight grey tinge, as though all the blood had been drained from his veins, robbing him of all colour. Dark, shadowy lines emphasized the clearly visible frames of his bones. His cheeks were sunken in and dark rings resided permanently under his eyes. Clearly, his body was barely able to keep up with the strain of his life. Somehow when Kougu was active, he seemed able to hide his weaknesses through a chirpy attitude and energetic actions. Now, he seemed to have aged a hundred years in a single day, and he showed no signs of snapping out of it any time soon.

Kougu's chest lurched as the blood entered his mouth, choking him as he refused to let it enter his throat. He snatched out toward consciousness, but his efforts were as futile as those of a blind man in the darkness. There was no light to pull himself towards... He couldn't find the world he had left behind. Finally, Kougu's unconscious body could resist no longer and the blood slipped down his throat, landing heavily in the pit of his stomach. Still, Kougu lay motionless. He had forseen all this... He had known it was bound to happen... But it could not happen so soon. He still had strength to fight it.

Kougu suddenly redoubld his efforts as he sensed Failure's presence. He couldn't let her suffer like this... Kougu grabbed all that remained of his strength and forced himself toward consciousness. He had to pull out of this... The suffocating pressure of darkness pressed down hard upon him as his breathing continued in a steady, relaxed rhythm, his body seemingly unaware of the fact that it was slowly wasting away. Then, suddenly, his breathing became laboured, each breath seemin to be a costly victory as he fought to draw them. His hand reached out blindly, closing around Failure's as his lips twitched in a slight attempt at a smile. He did his best to hold on to this fragile grasp of consciousness he had gained, but he could already feel it slipping away. "I'm sorry." He whispered softly before falling away again, his grip slackening as his muscles went limp again.

Kougu's fingers twitched slightly in an attempt to close around Failure's hand, but Kougu couldn't quite find the strength. He had to get through this... He had to... It couldn't last too much longer, could it? It had never been so harsh before... It seemed that this time it was truly trying to terminate his life force, to take control once and for all... His head throbbed with the relentless mechanical clicking that was always beating away at his brain. He hated it... There were so few things he truly hated in the world, yet this thing he hated with a passion. Sudden memories flashed through his mind, a brief replay of images burned into his mind's eye, those that he could never shake loose. A scream echoed in his hears as a mother clutched her daughter to her, sobbing hysterically. Then the image changed. The woman was dead, blood trickling from her mouth, the girl crying by her side. Another slide passed through his mind, but he shut himself away from it. He knew what came next... It was too much, he couldn't face it... But he ad no choice. It swam before his vision, as painful and gruesome as ever before. Anger flared through Kougu and adrenalin surged through him with it, giving him the strength he needed. His dark eyes darted open, staring blankly ahead of him. For a moment his determination swirled with pain and something deeper, all reflected clearly in his eyes, then they dissolved with a single blink as he braced one hand against the floor, attempting to push himself into a sitting position. His arm trembled for a moment, thn gave way. He kept lying on the floor, blinking mildly upwards, his expression blank. With a massive effort, he pushed his self-sympathy aside, disregarded the pain, the regret, the hatred, and glanced toward Failure. A slight smile twitched at his lips as he squeezed her hand gently, gazing up at her with earnest gratitude for a moment before letting his eyes close, yet his grip remained firm. His gaunt face was creased with exhaustion as he concentrated his attention on gradually slowing his breathing, relaxing slightly as he tried to regain his energy.

Kougu shook his head weakly, forcing his eyes open as he glanced at her again. "Failure, I- I'm so sorry." He mumbled in a soft whisper, each word seeming to cost him a massive effort. "I didn't mean to- to..." He broke off, drawing a deep, shuddering breath before abandoning his attempts and letting his eyes slide shut, slipping into a half-sleeping state brought about by sheer exhaustion.

Kougu's lips slid into a subtle smile at her words, a faint tinge of colour creeping into his pale cheeks as she kissed him. It took his mind a while to sift through her words, but once he had processed them, he obediantly raised one hand, skipping the incantation but producing a weak glow as he moved it over to her, holding it above her wrist. The colour slowly drained from his face again as he poured as much energy as he could spare into his healing. Thankfully, the wound was small. He had enough strength left... Barely...

"Ah..." Kougu replied with a sense of dawning comprehension. He forced his eyes open and smiled at her, gripping her hand and pulling it a little closer before slipping back into his delarious state. He hated feeling so weak, but what could he do? Kougu's smile had died the second he had edged toward sleep, leaving his face somewhat tense and expressionless. He couldn't shake that image from his mind... He knew that Failure could see it if she chose to look... He had to banish it from his mind, but it only crept closer and closer, reminding him of what he had done... Reminding him of whathe truly hated... Reminding him why it was so important to pretend...

Kougu chuckled softly, then tensed instantly as he, too, heard the door. "I have to get out of here!" He muttered hoarsely, panic edging his words as he struggled to push himself into a sitting position, only to fall down time and again. He grabbed the wall, trying to haul himself up, then collapsed on the ground, coughing. He didn't have the strength... Already consciousness was threatening to leave him again. In desperation, Kougu muttered a soft incantation, then seemed to vanish as his body blended in with its surroundings.

"I can stand." Kougu protested weakly, forcing his eyes open and bracing one hand against the wall. "But I do trust you." He added more seriously, his voice hushed as he forced his body into relaxation. Whatever plan Failure had, he would go along with it without complaint.

"Do I have to?" Kougu asked with a grimace, his expression making it clear that he did not like the idea. "Just tell me what to do. I can walk - honest." He insisted, squirming out of her grasp until he was standing, leaning against the wall for support.