POLO! (Again xD)

((Aaaaw, poor Rorah. ))

Kai wandered aimlessly about the house as Sierra slept, never venturing too far from her for fear of something going wrong. Minutes ticked by into hours and finally the early hours of the morning began to approach. Kai had been feeling pressure building up behind his skull for quite some time now, but at 3AM, he finally snapped. The subtle pressure had become a painful throbbing and it was worsening by the minute. Kai suddenly doubled over, crouching down where he stood to clutch his head in his hands, holding it so tightly it seemed he was determined to rip it off. Pain surged through him like an electric shock, temporarily blinding his senses. When he managed to get a grip on himself again, he found he had taken a few swift steps toward Sierra, his wand raised at the ready. Kai gave a soft, frustrated growl, clapping his palm to his face before backing himself into a corner. Sierra was trusting him to lok out for her... He couldn't betray that trust. He wouldn't let himself do it... If only it were that simple. Already, Kai could feel that his control was slipping.

[*sniff*]
As sleep passed over me I felt myself becoming more relaxed, a lot more relaxed than I had in a long time. I was more surprised not to have any nightmares, maybe it was because of the fact that Kai was watching me...maybe all I needed was reassurance. Yet it barley took anything for Kai to completely chance tactics...

Kai slipped down to the floor, his breathing heavy and ragged as he struggled to resist the relentless pull in his mind. The pain was excrutiating, but he vowed to fight it off for as long as he could. Kai's face was contorted by pain, but there was a steely determination in his dark eyes, currently hidden by his eyelids as he clamped them closed and pressed his hands hard against them until tiny red lights seemed to leap up into his vision. Suddenly, Kai knew he could contain himself no longer and he began clutching at straws. "Sierra." He gasped between ragged breaths, the single word leaving his lips in a hoarse, urgent whisper. "Sierra... You have to... Get away..." He mumbled haltingly, struggling to force the words past his lips. His fist was clenched tightly around his wand and, tray as he might, he could not force it to slacken its grip...

I stirred slightly, upon hearing something that was slightly out of place in the dark oblivion of my dreams. Something, I thought, that should be ignored? Maybe I should just let myself sink further into the darkness? But what if Kai - My thought was cut off abruptly. I was sure he'd be fine.

"S-Sierra!" Kai gasped, starting to tremble with the effort of restraining himself. "P-please..." He broke off, suddenly lapsing into silence. His breathing steadied instantly and the trembling ceased as he slowly raised himself to his feet, perfectly composed. He dusted himself off with a humourless chuckle, then began twirling his wand in his fingers, staring over at Sierra with a sickening hunger in his eyes. How could he toy with this victim...? Torture her into insanity? Blow her to smitherines? Both so cliche... Perhaps he would kill her outright and make it painless... Or perhaps he would think of something completely new. Shrugging, he stepped swiftly toward her, brandishing his wand with a demonic grin on his face, a savage pleasure burning in his eyes.

I sighed deeply and shifted a little on the sofa. Something about the atmosphere was making me slightly uneasy, yet I thought nothing of it as I slept. If Kai was in real danger, he surely would have woken me by now...? Maybe he didn't need me. Maybe it was all going to be fine...

Kai stepped swiftly over to Sierra, grinning broadly as he placed his wandtip at her throat. "Wake up!" He commanded excitedly, "I want to see your expression when I kill you." He explained darkly, his grin sliding into a sadistic smirk as a small shower of sparks burst from his wandtip.

A shattering pain burst into my throat, and I awoke with a gasp of air. Confused and watery eyed, I blinked back the tears of pain and turned to look at Kai. 'Kai?' I choked. 'Is something wrong?' Through my blurred vision I couldn't make out his expression, but he was staring at me in an odd way...

Kai scoffed, pressing his wand harder into her throat. "On your feet." He commanded, his voice dangerously soft and smooth as silk. For a moment it seemed he was about to place more pressure on the wand, but then he stumbled backwards suddenly. He clutched his face, his nails biting into his skin as he forced himself to step back. He was clutching his head so tightly that he didn't even notice when his fingernails broke through the skin. Kai tried once more to drop the wand, but it was as though it was glued to his palm. In desperation, he swung it around to face his own chest. "St-Stu-Stupify" He gasped, but only a feeble flicker of red light emerged and all this succeeded in doing was draining Kai's strength further still. "C-can't..." He whispered to himself, his voice strained with fear, pain and regret. "I c-can't... Do it."

I struggled to get to my feet, throwing off the blankets, and was about to protest when Kai was struggling to regain control. I rushed forwards and clutched his shoulders, trying to prevent him from falling over. 'Kai listen to me.' I said forcefully. 'You can't do this. It's not you.'

Kai glanced up at Sierra in desperation, then forced his gaze down as he felt an incomprehensibly strong urge to attack her. He trembled violently, his entire body shuddering from the effort of trying to maintain his sanity. "I can't take it..." He whispered softly, his voice shaking as badly as his body. "I can't take it!" He repeated more forcefully, dropping his head into his hands and trying to force himself to stay still and refain from attacking. "Please..." He muttered, holding his wand out toward Sierra without looking at her. "P-please..."

I took it and looked at it pityingly. Shutting my eyes, I pointed it at his chest. 'S-stupify.' I stumbled, waiting for the blow.

Kai crumpled to the ground as the stunning spell took effect, lying motionless on the ground. His already pale features seemed ashen and gaunt from the effort of maintaining control. Kai was suddenly blissfully unaware of his surroundings. He was no longer putting anyone at risk... If only it could be this way permanently... Life would be simpler if he didn't have to live it... But he had to. He didn't understand the reason, but he knew that, no matter what the cost, he had to go on. All the same... The risks... This time he had been lucky. Lucky that Sierra had been there, lucky that she had been able and willing to help him...

I collapsed onto the sofa. Why did it have to be this way? Why did it have to be that Voldemort was trying to control our minds, laboring our every step? After a few minutes had passed, I pointed the wand at Kai. 'Ennervate.' I mumbled half-heartedly. As soon as I let the spell go, I let the wand fell to the floor with a dull thud.

Kai surged back into consciousness, coughing violently. When his coughing fit finally subsided, he lay still for a moment, trembling violently, then reached out and took his wand, eyeing it cautiously all the while. As soon as he could find the strength to speak, Kai knelt down and began apologising profusely. "Sierra, I... I'm so sorry." He mumbled, his usually calm and unconcerned voice betraying the pain and regret he felt. "I didn't mean it, I swear... Are you okay?" Kai's eyes suddenly widened as he began to panic, jerking his bowed head upwards to search her expression. "Oh gosh, if I hurt you..." He lapsed into silence, dropping his gaze and biting down hard on his lip.

"N-no I'm fine.' I stumbled, partly due to the fact that I had just been woken up abruptly. 'I'm fine Kai.' I reassured him, seeing his concerned expression.

"Oh thank goodness..." Kai muttered, relief coursing violently through his veins, weakening his limbs. "I just- I-" He broke off, glancing quickly away. He couldn't explain... He couldn't bring himself to speak about it, even though he knew he owed her an explanation. "I should get out of here." He stated suddenly, "It's too dangerous... What if I hurt you next time?! I must have been crazy to put you at risk like this..." Kai babbled his thoughts out loud, barely aware of the fact that he was speaking.

I shook my head. 'I'm fine Kai.' I pressured him more forcefully, even though I knew it was the last thing he wanted. Getting up, I grabbed my wand and walked outside, I noticed Kai had been out here recently, as the patio door was open. I breathed in some fresh air, the cool morning breeze felt welcoming on my face. Half of me felt sorry for Kai, the other half...it was bitter, it was telling him to get a grip.

Kai sighed, pressing his face into his hands for a moment before slowly getting to his feet. It was all getting too intense... If the pain and the effort didn't kill him, then the stress surely would. He was being crushed by himself. He was helpless... Useless. Perhaps that was what hurt the most? No. It was the fear of hurting others. It always had been... He sighed, dropping himself onto a sofa to sit and sort through his thoughts. If Sierra only knew the truth... If she understood... There was no way she'd be so accepting, or so quick to forgive him. He was lucky. She was nicer to him than he deserved...

I clenched my jaw and turned my back on the door. If I hadn't been so nice, so understanding, he would be on his own. He was lucky to have me, I was the only thing that stood between him and untold darkness...evil thoughts clouded my head, and for a moment I was blinded by him. Maybe I should let him have a taste of what it was like to be left in the dark, like I had been for so many years, incapable of shouting out to anyone...All of this made me grip my wand tighter, in my head I was going over and over the spell that would cause him excruciating pain...I was imagining him writing on the floor...The sudden image of my mother flooded my head, but this sprung a feeling of revenge. A smirk spread across my face. He'd soon pay...

Kai twisted hus wand around in his fingers, staring unseeingly at the soft silver hue that lingered on the wand. The memories had returned... He just couldn't shake them. The brutal murder... His own family... It made him sick. All the same, he could not allow himself to be overwhelmed. He had shown weakness when his defences were low and he had become a burden... He had to get a grip. He had to find his barve, cheerful face and force it over the pain inside. If Kai had one reason for living, it was because he wanted to try to save others from having to go through what he went through... If only he wasn't so useless, he might hav succeeded at some stage... But alas, he was doomed to failure. The cost of success was just too high.

I walked back into the room trying to look as casual as I could while thinking about what move I should make next. 'You just don't understand do you Kai?' I asked bitterly. 'You think that when it all goes wrong you have to die. But when are you going to realize that you're gonna have to pull yourself back up and carry on?' My hand was still clenched tightly around the handle to my wand. I leant against the wall, one foot pressed flat against it. 'Because with you it's all dark and dismal. Never had anything good in your life have you?' My tone was still bitter, and it sliced the air like a knife.

"I'm sorry." Kai muttered quickly, "You're right. I'm sorry, I honestly didn't mean to upset you..." He trailed off for a moment, then finally raised his dark eyes, meeting her gaze with steely determination. "This is a weak moment for me. I'll get over it in no time, I just need to get a grip..." He sighed softly as he got to his feet, already feeling guilt bubbling within him at the thought of having upset Sierra. Kai bit back all words of retort and self defence as he he took a step toward the door, turning his back on her. He refused to defend himself. In the name of peace, he would accept any punishment from any person without question. He had clearly upset Sierra... He would simply accept everything she said. He would not try to defend himself.

'I don't pretend to be angry, Kai.' I spat. My temper was at boiling point...'Crucio!.' I pointed my wand at his chest and hoped to god that it hurt him.

Kai dropped to the ground as the curse hit him with the force of a ton of bricks. He wondered vaguely if he was missing something, for he did not fully understand the reason for such a large degree of anger, yet he accepted the punishment willingly. If anything, the physical pain was more of a blessing than a curse... A distraction from the pain that he could never quite smother. The 2 seemed to nullify each other, leaving him feeling blissfully free as pain coursed through every fibre of his being. Kai remained unmoving on his knees on the ground. He did not react to the curse and his expression did not change. Through a haze of pain, Kai lowered his wand and placed it on the ground beside him. He had no desire to defend himself.