POLO! (Again xD)

Kai sat on the ground a short while longer, refusing to allow himself to think, for fear that the pain would be too much. Denying his own thoughts access to his mind, Kai finally turned around and glanced toward Sierra, onl to see her slide down the tree trunk to sit at the bottom. Did that mean she had calmed down? Then mybe he could get some answers... With a massive effort, Kai dragged himself to his feet and forced his weary mind to move his reluctant body over to where Sierra sat. "What now?" He asked quietly, his voice completely toneless. He was using them again... Those walls. Hiding himself, and abandoning the fragile net of trust that he had built.

((Wow - just noticed that I used 'Kougu' instead of 'Kai' twice in this one! Haha! ))

'He wants me to see it.....' I mumbled, not making eye contact with Kai. I still didn't trust him though, but after all we had been through in the past few days I wanted to believe that I could. I needed to. Right now it couldn't be more important that the bonds of trust were the things that held us together. If either one of us breaks it, or gets separated, we're stuffed.

"Of course he does." Kai replied quietly. "That's how he operates, isn't it? Why get involved yourself when you can just put all your own enemies against each other..." He lapsed into silence, shaking his head. What was he supposed to say? There was nothing left. Kai sighed and slumped down beside Sierra, keeping a large distance between them, as was his way.

I buried my face in my hands for a moment, before raising it and looking at Kai. 'Kai...I'm really sorry...I've been such a jerk, and...it may seem to you like I don't trust anyone. Believe me Kai, I don't. But it seems like I'm stupid enough not to trust you.' I paused, biting my lip and looking down. 'I just...I feel tired all the time...I feel crabby and every part of me aches and...' I trailed off, growling in frustration, my brain working at what felt like a million miles an hour just to stay awake. 'It feels like I'm only half here. The other half just...Wants to kill someone.'

Kai glanced up in surprise at Sierra's words - incredibly taken aback, yet somewhat touched. He glanced down, and a faint chuckle escaped his lips. "Believe me, Sierra..." He murmured quietly, "You are the furthest thing from stupid. I wouldn't trust me either, if I had the choice. Unfortunately, I don't." He shrugged helplessly, yet managed a faint smile all the same, trying to bring some light to the situation - at least in his own mind.
Kai paused a moment then, thinking back and frowning thoughtfully. Had she just said...?
"Kill someone?" He cocked his head slightly to one side, regarding Sierra curiously. "I guess it's natural if you're that tired... Though perhaps a little harsh." He smiled in earnest now, and swatted her softly on the back of the head. "Come on, lighten up. Things will work out, you'll see!" He painted his words in false enthusiasm as they left his lips, doing his best to maintain an aura of positivity that he did not necessarily feel.
He got to his feet, then - suddenly feeling an urge to do something, just so he wouldn't feel quite so useless. He wanted to help Sierra... He really did... But what could he do? It was hopeless...
Presently, Kai felt a chill creep into the air. He rubbed away the goosebumps that sprung up on his arms somewhat absentmindedly, then glanced toward Sierra with a slightly confused frown. He felt as though he was forgetting something... Something important... "It's cold." He commented, pointing out the obvious. "Should we..."
But Kai never finished his question, for at that moment, harsh rattling breathing sounded behind him, and Kai was engulfed in the scent of death. He clapped a hand to his mouth, willing himself not to retch, and spun around - coming face to face with a dementor.
Dementors!
Of course! How could he have been so stupid?! All the signs had been pointing toward it, but he-
What was he doing?
Standing here, berating himself and taking no action when the dementors were about to-
Too late, Kai realised his mistake.
The fiend swooped closer toward him, and though he made a grab for his wand, it was too late. Memories flooded his mind, and as the screams filled his ears, he felt certain his heart would implode. He dropped slowly to his knees, clutching his head in his long, pale fingers - his knuckles shining white with the tightness of his grip.
Wide-eyed and staring, Kai muttered incoherently to himself, twitching like a madman, as the dementor continued to torture its prey.
Idiot... Get a grip...
But it was no use. He simply could not find the strength to move.

I stumbled to my feet as the dementor hovered over Kai, draining his memory. I fumbled for my wand, my hands becoming increasingly numb. Expecto Patronum... I called weakly into the air, my breath turning to condensation before my eyes, I was sure it had never been that cold before...A feeble white light appeared out of the tip of my wand, the dementor wavered for a second, but nothing more. Expecto Patronum! I called a little more strongly, and sure enough the silvery white thread morphed into a lion. It roared rather feebly and took a leap at the dementor, clashing with its dark cloak and knocking it away. It was like something was distracting me, evaporating the last of my happiness like a dementor was sucking away at me too. I set my patronus on the dementor again, collapsing down next to Kai, shaking him lightly. I recoiled at his touch, his skin was ice cold. 'Kai! Kai are you alright?'

The instant the dementor was repelled, Kai drew in a shuddering gasp of air, and snatched his wand from where he had let it fall to the ground moments before. He clutched it tightly in fingers slippery from cold sweat, and as he heard Sierra's distance voice humming in his ears, Kai found himself speaking his own incantation. "Expecto... Patronum..." He finally managed to speak the words in a hoarse whisper, yet despite his feeble speech, the patronus burst from his wand with a passion. The hawk alighted on silver wings, darting gracefully toward the dementors. With the combined efforts of the lion, the dementors began to scatter in earnest now.
Panting, Kai watched as they began to disperse - holding himself up on one shaking arm while the other clung to his wand. The very second the last dementor had vanished into the mist, the hawk vanished, and Kai's arm buckled, leaving him sprawled inelegantly on the cold ground. For a moment he simply lay still, breathing heavily, then he finally forced himself to speak. "I- I'm okay..." He whispered, unable to completely summon his voice. He spent another moment catching his breath, then slowly shifted himself into a sitting position. "Thank you, Sierra." He murmured quietly. "Dementors have always been my weakness. If you hadn't helped me there, I'd be worse than dead." He stated the harsh truth bluntly and earnestly, yet when he glanced at Sierra, his dark eyes showed sincere gratitude. The cheerfulness, however, had left them. He felt broken.

'That's-that's...' I struggled to find the right word, 'okay.' I had to bite back a rather horrid retort as half of my mind seemed to be operating on its own. The lion vanished into thin air as it was no longer needed, so I tucked my wand into the back pocket of my jeans. I had really felt the pressure to say something good, not something that would indefinitely hurt Kai's feelings.

Kai nodded dumbly, accepting Sierra's words without complaint. "I can't believe I didn't notice it sooner..." He muttered irritably, mentally kicking himself. "You'd think that by now I'd have learned to be more alert..." He huffed a frustrated sigh, then clamped his jaw shut, reminding himself that complaining was not going to change anything. It never had. "Sierra..." He mumbled suddenly, looking up at her again, since he still didn't much feel like standing. "You're okay, right? You're not hurt...?" He glanced her briefly up and down, suddenly deeply concerned. If she was injured... No, no... She couldn't be. She just couldn't.

I frowned, as if I was trying to consider the best response. 'No...I'm not hurt...' I said with great difficulty, although I wasn't sure if it showed in my voice. I forced a smile and looked at Kai. 'I'm not hurt.' I repeated, before rubbing my eyes and pacing around, trying to figure something out, I was just...not sure as to what it was. 'I'm just so confused....' I mused, loud enough for Kai to hear.

"Good." Kai replied simply, contemplating returning the smile, but deciding against it when his cheeks felt so stiff he feared they might shatter from the effort. "Wait... Confused?" He repeated, frowning thoughtfully. He took a step nearer to her, scanning her with concerned eyes. "What do you mean? Confused how?" He asked, rather more urgently than he had planned. He was worried, though. He couldn't help it... He always worried, especially about Sierra. She was the only friend he had, after all. Well... Almost friend, anyway.

Tell my why it's any of your business anyway?
'Because...I can't seem to make my mind up anymore. There seems to be a two-faced opinion in my head, and I have to bite back retorts every single time someone says anything to me and...I just don't know!!' I stopped, realizing that I was starting to sound ever so slightly hysterical. I spun around and looked straight at him 'Help me Kai...Please...'

"Hey, hey, it's alright." Kai said soothingly, raising his hands in an attempt to calm her. "I think I understand... What you mean." He said slowly, choosing his words with care, "But I really don't know how to help you, Sierra. I want to... Believe me, I do, but-" He broke off, unsure of what to say.
What was going on?
What could he do?
Kai stepped forward, and placed his hands lightly on Sierra's shoulders, staring down at her face with a calculating expression. "Can you try to explain to me, Sierra?" He requested politely, taking care not to upset her, if he could help it. "Explain to me exactly what is happening... As best you can... And maybe I can find a way to help."
He blinked sincerely at her, waiting patiently for a reply.

I still don't understand what it has to do with you.

'Ever time someone asks me something...or talks to me, there's this, thing in my head that's just nudging me, telling me to say something...horrid, or mean, or...' I stopped. 'Sorry...I just sound mad don't I?' I laughed humorlessly. 'I'm going crazy!' I wanted so desperately to throw his hands off my shoulders, to shove him away and pretend everything was alright, but I wanted the company...I needed someone to talk to, to express my feelings to. And Kai was the closest thing to a friend I think I had had in a long time. Who else did I have?

"No, not crazy. Confused." Kai reiterated, shaking his head. His eyebrows drew together in a frown of concentration as he considered her, studying her as though she was some sort of experiment. "You might have been confunded...?" He suggested carefully, fingering his wand as he considered this possibility. "It almost seems too simple, but it makes sense. Worth a try, I guess."
He took a step back, then raised his wand, and pointed it at her. "May I?" He asked, meeting her gaze with honest blue eyes and waiting for her permission before attempting the counter-curse.

I looked back at him with trusting eyes. 'Yeah...Go ahead.' I looked away..

"Thanks." Kai murmured quietly, a small, yet sincere smile playing at his lips. He did not want to be trusted, since he knew he did not deserve it, but he could not deny that it felt good to know Sierra trusted him - enough to do this, at least.
Clutching his wand lightly between his fingers, Kai focused his attention powerfully on speaking the incantation for the counter-curse in his mind, then gave the wand a brief flick, speaking the words silently. The wandtip sparked slightly, and the air before him grew hazy for a moment, then it faded. "How do you feel?" Kai asked, lowering his wand and watching her with concern. "Any better?"