POLO! (Again xD)

"Can you fix it?" He asked in a hushed voice, his tone strangely emotionless and his expression unreadable in the darkness. His had was bowed, his dark fringe falling down to cast a shadow over his eyes as he examined his own hands, unable to let his gaze linger on the injured bird without being able to help it. He empathized with the little creature, the effects of the crutiatus curse still fresh in his mind, as well as the sickening realisation that even such intense pain as that did not compare to those times... He shook his head suddenly, snapping off his train of thought. He wouldn't think about that. He refused. He would not succumb to its lure...

I shook my head shallowly. 'I don't know a spell.' Mage gave another annoyed hoot and tried to shift herself, but I held her down gently but firmly. She wasn't going to go anywhere untill I was sure she was fine.

"I'll try then." Kai replied softly, getting his feet and walking over to her before pointing his wand at Mage and muttering incoherently under his breath. The owl's wing seemed to glow for a moment, then righted itself. Kai stepped back again, looking away and staring into the darkness. Something about the helplessness of the little owl being held down like that, her life at their mercy, had reminded him of something... When he closed his eyes to blink, it was as though the sickening image was tatooed on his eyelids. It replayed through his mind over and over...

The woman clutched the child tightly, hey eyes streaming with tears of desperation. "Kai... Please... Why are you doing this?!" She begged, his voice cracking as he lips began to tremble. Kai fingered the silver wand lovingly, pointing it at her. She screamed and held the young girl tighter, sheilding her. The girl began to cry. Kai yelled the fatal incantation with a savage pleasure and watched the woman crumple motionless to the ground. He watched with undisguised appreciation as the girl tried in vain to wake her mother, begging her not to die, not to leave her all alone... The girl was near insane in her fear and desperation, her eyes wide and terrified as tears flowed freely from them. Kai sneered down at her, then pointed his wand at her and mutted softly, "Reducto." The girl was blown into a million pieces before his eyes, her blood spraying the walls and soaking Kai's clothes as he slowly turned to leave.

Kai shuddered slightly as the familiar memory continued to torture his mind. There wasn't anything he could do... He could never take that back, he could never forgive himself and he could never redeem himself... There was no redemption after such a sin.

[O.O That woke me up O.O]

I gave Kai a weak smile and picked up Mage gently, Taking her over to some trees that acted like a canopy. Mage squawked and managed to fly up onto a branch with some difficulty. I let my back rest against the tree trunk, and stared at the stars, wishing I could stay like this forever.

((Haha! You're lucky I'm not in an evil mood, or I might have been a lot more vivid... *evil cackle*))

Kai returned Sierra's smile, willingly allowing himself to be distracted from his thoughts ashe walked over to her. He followed her gaze to the sky, staring upwards at the endless darkness with its billions of silver pinpricks, each ne gleaming with a hope and triumph that did not exist for him... "Beautiful, isn't it?" Kai asked softly, his dark eyes seeming opaque as they reflected the stars. His words were so simple, yet in his mind the sight of the stars was so much more than that... More than just a meaningless beauty... It was that childlike innocence that he clung to with the grip of a deadman, an unfallible imagination that allowed him to escape into worlds other than his own... The patterns the stars formed, the concept of their enormous size... Everything about them held some wonder for him, something with which he could distract his tormenting thoughts.

I watched as he walked over. 'Yeah, it is.' I nodded slightly. The stars seemed to make my mind at ease, to take my thoughts off everything that was going on between us. For once I was happy to be just...me.

[ Sounds good to me ]

Kai sighed, dropping his gaze from the stars. He could not bring himself to seek comfort in them at that moment... Guilt was burning too strongly in his mind. He felt he deserved this pain... In a world where he harboured no hatred, the only thing Kai truly despised was himself. How could he not, after all the things he had done...? Kai groaned softly, only realising afterwards that he had done so out loud. He glanced around, suddenly wondering what he should do with himself. He was reluctant to leave Sierra, for fear of something happening to her, yet at the same time he was reluctant to stay for the exact same reason... These thoughts and many more darted throgh his mind, yet Kai's expression was forcefully unconcerned, almost peaceful. After so many years of fighting the same battles, he had become a master of disguise. His face might as well be a mask... Yet he had never managed to master his thoughts quite the same way. He could never break the habit of accidentally let them slip out in speech...

I turned to look at Kai. 'Are you okay? You look as white as a sheet!' I wondered if he had...I shrugged the thought off.

Kai glanced at her in surprize, caught off gaurd by the unexpected show of concern. "I-" He broke off, sighing softly and dropping his gaze as he quickly rearranged his thoughts. "Yeah, I'm fine." He replied, raising his head and smiling slightly. "I just got a shock... You know, because of Mage-?" He shrugged slightly, glancing away again. He had never really been able to lie... He was terrible at it. Good at hiding, terrible at lying... How ironic. Yet in a way it was just as well. He hated lies... Though in certain cirsumstances, the truth was simply something that could not be said.

I smiled and shook my head slowly. 'You know you're terrible at lying, right?' I asked, even though I was blatantly stating the obvious.

"Yup." Kai replied, smiling back at her. He had been pretty certain that she would see through his pathetic lie... What he hadn't expected was that she would let him know that she had seen through it... She was being almost... Nice? It was strange... And somehow it made him feel even worse. He deserved to be hated... Deserved to be punished for every moment of his life on earth. Yet even as these dark thoughts were running through his mind, Kai's unconcerned smile never faltered, reflecting a cheerfulness that did not exist.

I turned to look at the stars again. All was silent, except for the occasional hoot from Mage to tell us that she was still awake. I reckoned that Kai could do with some happiness, a friend, despite what had happened. The actions I had taken weren't my own, and most of my heart and soul were intent on making it clear to Kai that I was sorry.

Kai followed Sierra's gaze to the stars again, but no sweet relief awaited him. The escape that had once been there was closed to him in his current state. He stared a moment longer, then glanced down and wandered off a short distance, pacing mindlessly in an attempt to distract himself from his thoughts. No... Not so much his thoughts, but the memories that would not leave his mind...

The deep mahogany coffin seemed to leer up at him, and Kai felt no emotion at all as he stared back, blinking with dry eyes at the seemingly unharmed corpse of a woman and beside it a small boz containing the largest parts that had been found of a young child. Kai finally stepped back, sitting don to let the priest's words watch over him. A boy was seated beside him and he reached out to pat Kai's back comfortingly as the service began. Kai stared blindly at him, not heaing the words that he spoke. "I'm really sorry, Kai..." He said softly, "We'll get our revenge... You and I together. The person who did this..." His voice cracked before he broke off. "Who could do that to a child?" He asked in disbelief, his voice croaking with emotion. "Kai... I-" He broke off, staring at his hands, clearly deciding that no words could lessen the pain of such a nightmare. Kai continued to stare unseeingly at him, then turned away without a word. The service ended and Kai got up to leave, but before he did so, he pointed his wand at the boy beside him. "Crucio." He muttered softly, his emotionless face cracking into a smile as the boy released a cry of pain and fell to the ground, writhing and twitching in pain. Other people rushed at Kai, desperate to stop him. He turned the silver wand on each of them in turn and they dropped like swatted flies to the ground. Once there was no other life left at the funeral, Kai turned his wand bak on the boy, who was sobbing quietly by now, more from the pain of having been betrayed by his best friend than the pain of the curse. Kai continued to torture him, until the boy finally lost consciousness, twitching mindlessly on the ground. "Accio." Kai muttered, his smile widening into a devious grin as he suddenly felt the weight of a sword in his hand. He summoned several more, then sat patiently on the ground, waiting for the by to wake up. When he finally did, Kai stood. The fear in his friend's eyes semed to give him a savage pleasure as he plunged the firstblade through the boy's shoulder. He cried out in pain, grabbing his shoulder with trembling fingers as blood began to soak his shirt. Then his arm was forced down as Kai plunged the second sword into his other shoulder. "Kai... Why?" He asked between sobs, lying helpless in a pool of blood. Kai smirked sadistically at him, then stabbed the rest of the swords into his body and turned to leave, satisfied that he would die a slow, painful death.

Kai stopped pacing, clapping a hand to his forehead. He couldn't bear to remember all of this... But he couldn't drop his act. He shuddered slightly, shrugging, before resuming his pacing.

[ Shame I was already awake ]

As Kai left I pulled my legs up tight and hugged my knees. Seeing Kai like that...it unnerved me. It felt like there was something that was constantly annoying him, like a bee that wouldn't go away.

((Haha! Ugh, my keyboard is awful... So many typos! D: Sorry. :'( *hits keys extremely hard*))


Kai glanced over at Sierra as he noticed her action out of the corner of his eye. "Are you okay?" He asked gently, walking back towards her and dropping into a crouch beside her, his concerned eyes darting over her. "You're not hurt, are you?" He asked again, his dark eyes gazing beseechingly at her, almost as though begging her to be alright. He couldn't stand seeing others in distress... He just wanted them to be happy... Happy and safe. He didn't want to see sorrow, misery or pain in the world...

[Tis okay ]
I nodded half-heartedly. 'It's just...seeing you like that. It's making me uneasy.'

((Yay! Rorah is so nice and understanding. *nods*))

"Oh... Sorry!" Kai replied, laughing awkwardly as he got to his feet. "I just got distracted... I'll stop now." He replied with a smile. He ran one long fingered hand through his dark hair as he glanced around, then let it drop to his side, looking back toward Sierra. "Want me to walk you home?" He offered suddenly, gesturing toward the starry sky. "It's pretty late... You could probably use some sleep, right?"

[ ^^ ]

I shook my head. 'It's probably crawling with Dementors by now.'

"Ah..." Kai replied simply, at a loss for what to say next. Finally he decided to say nothing and took to staring awkwardl around, trying not to let himself think for fear of his thoughts being infected with yet more memories of the things he had done...

I sighed and pressed my forehead against my knees. Voldemort seemed to have left me alone for now, and I was glad. Although I would have thought he would choose to attack when I was tired. When I was weak and vulnerable.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Kai asked, glancing uncertainly at her and stepping tentatively toward her. There was something about her stance that seemed so utterly weary... Defeated... He hated to see it.

'I'm fine.' I sniffed, not bothering to raise my head. Even though I didn't acknowledge it, I enjoyed Kai's presence.

"Okay then... I'm glad." Kai replied softly, offering a vague smile before turning away, wandering off a short distance. His head was starting to throb again... He could feel his pulse beating in his temples, and suddenly he was thrust into another memory.

"You have done well, Kai." A voice spoke softly beside him. "You have done everything I told you to do, though of course I expected nothing different..." The voice trailed off and the picture faded away, replaced instantly by another, and another, and another...

The memories flashed through his mind, dizzying and nauseating him as he tried to push them away. He knew what was coming and he forced himself into reality, turning toward Sierra and stumbling toward her. "Run!" He gasped, throwing his wand toward her. He dropped to one knee, clutching his head in desperation and groaning with pain as he fought off the sickening control to the best of his ability.

I looked up suddenly as Kai's voice knocked me out of my trance. 'What is is Kai?'

Kai clutched his head hard in his hands. "Run..." He choked the word out in a whisper, "Take the wand... And run." He broke off, his ead dropping to his chest. He was motionless for a moment, then slowly straightened. He felt around in his pockets for the wand, cursing softy under his breath when he found it was not there. Instead, he pulled out a small silver pocket knife, brndishing it threateningly as he advanced toward her with a menacing grin.